Perry and Shawna MorningsPerry and Shawna Mornings

“I Follow Jesus, Why Am I Not Changing?”

Published Mar 7, 2025, 6:53 PM

Perry says: “I think we have a LOT of religious ideas about Christianity. Like ‘Try harder to be a good Christian,’ or ‘Beat yourself up if you fail,’ or ‘I must not be a Christian cause I’m not changing.’ “ Maybe these ideas are why we’re not able to change.

Do the words you speak benefit those who hear them? Words are powerful! Shawna was made aware of how her words had been used to tear others down instead of lifting others up. It was a reminder to speak life!

As a Jesus follower there are good works that God has prepared for you to do. God has kingdom dreams he wants you to accomplish. Dreams that will change your world. What does it look like to go after those kingdom dreams?

If you feel like you are waiting for permission - you are not only permitted to do what Jesus did - you are commissioned to go into all the world and make disciples - learners and followers of our savior, Jesus Christ. 

It's the Perry and Shaunna podcast on the real life journey with you, reminding you that you are ABBA's beloved child and that Jesus has called you into his massive mission to heal the world.

As a Jesus follower, maybe you wonder why am I not changing? I just keep repeating the same bad habits and patterns all the time and I only seem to fail. Maybe that's your struggle. It was a summer afternoon. I was 15 and I had just sinned. That same awful sin again. And I felt so ashamed again, and there was no way I was going to let anybody know what I'd done. And it didn't even cross my mind that I could come to God with that sin. And I was a believer. I just didn't know how to relate to God. And then it was a fall morning seven years later. I had just given over to. I had just given myself over to lust the night before. But this time I took up my guitar and I knew the Lord a little better. And I wrote this lyric. I could just hang my head and cry, thinking of how I failed you so many times.

So there is power in the cross to save us. For there's power in the cross to change us too. And you say, and why am I not changed? I'm saved. I've been to the cross. But I still have lustful thoughts. I still am embittered by what happened to me as a child. And why can't I be changed? So let me tell you something. Every time that thought comes to your mind, every time you're aware of your hatred, every time the bitterness crops up, you just come back to the cross and you confess it. You tell God, you know, six years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and went through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. And the idea was that what the surgery didn't get, the chemo would get, what the chemo didn't get, then the radiation would get. And so I went to the radiation every day for a month. And hopefully, I mean, I've been six years out now, so the cancer is gone. I pray God. I use that illustration because the cross acts like radiation on cancer. And every time you sin, you bring your sin back to the cross. Don't be embarrassed. God knows you sinned. So we're just so embarrassed to come back and say, oh my goodness, I lied again. You know, I had that lustful thought again. I hate that person all over again. You just every time you do, you bring it back to the cross and you confess it. And you see Jesus there as having died for that sin in particular. And you just nail that sin to the cross. And as you do that, that sin is weakened in your life. And I can tell you the Bible calls it besetting sins. I've had besetting sins, but I come back to the cross and God, over time sets me free. He changes us. Yes he does, from glory to glory. Corinthians says, as you behold them in Scripture, you apply the Scripture to your life. You live it out. You spend time with him. He changes you from glory to glory until other people, even your best friend, your spouse, your classmate can see Jesus in you. There is power in the cross.

Anne Graham Lotz, the daughter of Billy Graham. You may know who Billy Graham is kind of a famous evangelist guy, but you know my 15 year old self, when I sinned and and really failed, I never came to God with it. I thought, you don't come to God when you mess up that much. You got to be put together to come to God and praise God. As Has been, Fuller would say. I have learned to bring my sin to Jesus, no matter how ugly it is. It's counterintuitive. The only way to become more like Jesus is to come back to the cross is to come to the foot of the cross. Because so many times for me, it's try harder when you fail, especially when I was younger. And I've learned that no, you don't try harder. You come with your need because all you need is need to be changed.

I think one thing when I think about the try harder philosophy or theology, like if you tried harder, what would be the outcome?

I think that in a way, as a teenager especially, I was trying harder all the time. And so therefore I was failing all the time.

We know what that leads to. It doesn't lead to what we were hoping for.

No, I think maybe I could have cleaned things up and on the outside looked better and on the inside felt more proud of myself. But my heart needed to be healed. Really?

Yeah. And I love when you talk about the healing that is needed. Like you said, I didn't even think about going to God. And it's God is the very place that we most need to go. And it's like, I love how Anne Graham Lotz likened it to going to chemotherapy. You know, like and in my own kind of imagination, imagination. I was picturing having cancer, being diagnosed with cancer and showing up for a chemotherapy treatment and saying, I'm so sorry, I still have cancer. You know, coming back a month later and saying, I'm really ashamed, but I still have cancer. I mean, the people there at the clinic would be like, we know you have cancer. That's why you're here, and we're here to help you. Like there, it would be so nonsensical to show up and apologize for having cancer.

That is a mint and analogy that is so good.

Well, Anne Graham Lotz, that's her analogy. But it's like we we need healing. So if you have cancer you need healing. So you go to the treatments the chemotherapy treatments. We are sinners and we need saving and we need forgiving. So why not go to the place where we can receive the treatment that we need for our problem?

But for some reason you explaining it helps it make a lot more sense. I mean, praise God. Praise God. There you go.

We just need to have that like on the ready so we can just push that button and hear Ben say that over and over again.

Yeah. We've got a soundbite of Ben Fuller saying, Praise God. Yeah. When I was a teenager and I had a sin to confess, I would say, Lord, please help me with my problem. That's as far as I went.

Yeah, just be vague. I think the more specific I know in my own life, the more specific I am, the less likely I am to fall back into that sin. Like if if I can be really specific, if I can understand what it is that I'm doing against God's heart and be honest about it. I don't know. There's something in the vulnerability and in the honesty there and being real with God.

But there's also a trust that God's not going to beat you up for that being so honest. You know his love, you know his heart. And so that has freed you up to come to him with the worst of the worst, whatever that might be.

I just realized yesterday, so I've been talking about how God has been revealing greed in my heart, and and we've been dealing with that together, and I'm so grateful. But you can do a lot of that work and not include the Lord. You can identify a sin problem and try to solve your sin problem, And even know that it's the Holy Spirit that's leading you into it, but like, not look at them. You know, you're even in the same room, but we're just we're just not looking at them, not acknowledging that he's there. And yesterday I just had a moment of just turning my face towards the Lord and crying for a little bit. Just I know that, you know. You know that I know. Let's just call it what it is. And there's a humility in that.

And that's where the change comes when we humbly just turn to Jesus. Listen to what Paul says to those sinning Christians in Corinth. They were sinning Christians. They needed to get their act together. He says this sinning Corinthians. I want to remind you of the gospel I preach to you, and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved if you hold firmly to the word I preach to you. Otherwise you have believed in vain. He didn't say sinning Christians. Try harder. Clean yourself up. Get it together, you losers. No! I want to remind you of the gospel I preach to you. Jesus lived the life we could never live. Died the death we deserve. Rose again to give us the power of new creation.

Use your powers for good. I recently connected with an old friend, and I was so excited to have this time with her and just catch up together, and we had a good chunk of time together, like several hours. And as we were there, you know, hanging out, she was just updating me on all the things her work, her family, her life. And we were just a couple of hours into our time together when I realized. Mm. She hasn't asked me anything about my life or my kids or my work. And we've been together for, like, two hours at this point, and she never did ask. And then it kind of became a little game, like, is she going to. I'm not going to just dive into my life. I'm just going to wait and see. And it was like four hours.

You spent four hours talking and mostly listening to what was going on, mostly listening. Oh my goodness.

And it really bothered me, Perry. I thought about it a lot. Like afterwards I even I mentioned it to my husband and I was like, how weird is this that you can spend four hours with someone and they don't ever ask you a single thing about you. So yesterday I'm driving to work.

This would not be a candidate for best friend. No.

It was so weird. It just was a strange thing. So I'm driving to work yesterday, and I'm. I'm listening to this devotional and my conversation with her came up again in my mind, and I feel like God was letting me know that I had sinned. I spoke negatively about her to my husband. I was like, can you believe I spent four hours with her? And she never once asked me about herself? What is going on?

She never praised me.

She just never said, how are the kids? Or tell me about Selah. You're a grandma. Like, how's that going? Do you get to connect with her? Like nothing? No. No curiosity? No. Not even a hint or a whisper in the direction of interest in my life whatsoever. And when God showed me that I had sinned by speaking negatively about her. I'm like, oh, Lord, I am so sorry. Ephesians 429 came to mind. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And then immediately following that, Holy Spirit so kindly and gently started reminding me of other times that I had spoken things that really didn't benefit the people who were listening that could have been skipped. It just wasn't unnecessary. It just was unnecessary. It didn't need to happen. And I truly want my words to be a blessing to the people who hear them. Not to be the want want.

Yeah. And you were your your job there, I guess was to just listen, which is what love looked like in that context. And then, you know, we we talk about loving people. This is what Jesus has called us to. And then when we actually see what love looks like, sometimes it's like, oh, I don't I don't really like this, you know, because you were loving her by listening to her for four hours, but it wasn't comfortable, right?

I mean, that is true. But there was also like I was loving her by listening to her for, for hours. But there was also the thing that was going on inside of me that was like, huh? She's still talking about her, isn't she? Like, is she gone? So there was sin in my heart, is what I'm saying. Sure, it's easy to focus on what somebody else is doing wrong and not see where my heart is. Not being like, Jesus.

Yeah, yeah. You were. You were needing to love her in that way, in that moment. And instead you were, you know.

Judging.

Largely being begrudging about it.

Yeah, I was, and I think also, you know, the part of that, like, even like telling Dan about it, I felt like someone needed to share that experience with me. And I think so often we underestimate that somebody already had the Lord was there with me the whole time he knew exactly what was going on. I didn't even have to explain to him for him to understand what was going on, because he was right there in the moment, so it didn't have to be spoken out. It didn't have to be shared with somebody else. I could have just shared it with the Lord, and the need in me to be understood would have been met in Jesus. I'm still in a journey of learning.

Yeah. Yeah. Now you're sharing it with the world.

I'm sharing my sin with the world.

Yes you are.

Here's the thing. I really do want the words that I speak to. Bless the people who are within earshot. Right? Our words are powerful. Let's use our words for good. Let's use our power for good. So here's my challenge to me and to you today on this Freedom Friday. Let's speak life today. Let's speak life. May every word that comes out of my mouth and your mouth today. Bless and benefit anyone in earshot.

I'm not a young man and I haven't been so for some time. I was helping my daughter Kaylee and son in law Emery move this past Saturday, and the moving out was down three flights of stairs, I might add.

Oh my goodness.

And as I was going up the stairs and my son Taylor was coming down, he said, dad, you've got a special day coming up, referring to my birthday.

That's right.

This coming Tuesday. And I said, yeah, I'll be the same age as C.S. Lewis when he died.

Oh, no.

64.

A little bit of a morbid thought right there. Poor dog.

Well, and afterward I thought, I wonder if Taylor thinks that. I think I'm going out this year. So I texted him Sunday night and I said, hey, man, when I mentioned C.S. Lewis passing away when he was 64 For and me turning 64. Gosh, I can't believe that I'm still a kid in Sheboygan. I wasn't suggesting that. I think I'm going out this year.

Yeah. That's good.

I said, it just really gives me a good perspective on life. Louis did everything God called him to do in 64 short years. Think about it. Time goes so fast. 64 is is young. And however many years he gives me, I want to be faithful. I just want to hear Jesus say, well done.

Well done, my good and faithful servant. I said that to you the other day and you're like, is this prophetic?

Am I going out?

I said, no, I just wanted you to know you did a good job that day.

Yeah. A week before C.S. Lewis death, he said something powerful to his brother, Warren. He'd finished writing over the course of his life. More than 30 books that, think about it, are still discipling Christians and still winning people to Jesus.

Does a day go by that we don't say C.S. Lewis or somebody?

Yeah. How many people quote C.S. Lewis?

Yeah.

And he said to his brother, I have done all that I was sent into the world to do, and I'm ready to go.

Wow.

And that reminds me of Paul, who said after planting the gospel in the first century Roman world, no small task. I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith. And I think it's so right for us to ask the Lord to help us finish this journey. Well, don't you think?

Yeah, I do.

Whether you're 24 or 40 4 or 60 4 or 104. Lord, help me do on this planet what you brought me here to do, and to finish it well, and to finish it strong and not to leave anything unfinished that you want me to finish.

Man. So that makes me feel young, because I feel like there's still so much ahead of me. There's still so much that I want to do for the Lord. And that I think the Lord has in mind for me. So it makes me feel like even at this age, there's still a lot ahead of me. That's a very hopeful thought.

Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. That has no age limits. God, show us all you've sent us into this world to do. Help us leave no stone unturned. Help us run our race well. And in the end, which, of course, is really just the beginning. We just want to hear you say, well done.

You are commissioned to go and make disciples of Jesus Christ. I had a dentist appointment on Wednesday afternoon and they were training a new dental assistant, and it was kind of interesting to just be laying there in the chair and hear the experienced assistant, like, describe in detail what she was doing and why she was doing it to the trainee. Things like instead of handing the doctor his equipment over the patient's face, always go around. This is our zone right here, so we don't accidentally drop something on the patient. And then at one point, you know, she was she was articulating every detail of what she was doing and why she was doing it. When you hand the dentist his equipment, you know, make sure you hand it to him, put some pressure in it so he knows he feels he's got it, you know, and you're not dropping something. And then the dentist told her, the trainee, he said, you're never going to feel ready. You just have to do it anyway. And then he said, in Dennis school they would read about something once, they would watch it once, and then they had to do it.

That's kind of scary.

That is scary. But I thought immediately when he said it, I thought, man, that would be a great way to approach my faith. Read it, watch it, do it. I think we're so education rich and practice poor in our country and our culture. When it comes to our faith, we tend to think, you know, I need to I need to read and I need to read and I need to read. And I've been reading for decades, and we still hesitate to step into it. Like things like praying for people. That's for the pastors and such. I'm just a layperson or visiting someone in the hospital or evangelism, you know, that's clergy level Christianity right there. I'm just a layperson.

What I love about my parents story, Dave and Barb, is that when they came alive for Jesus, they just did this. They just jumped in. I mean, they did everything youth ministry, Bible studies, um, sharing the gospel at work, at home, going to nursing homes, singing to them, sharing the word. Nobody told them to do it. They just did it.

They just did it. I have a friend or I have a cousin who not a cousin, a nephew who when he got married, you know, he grew up in the faith. His dad's a pastor, but his wife had not grown up in a faith family. And when she gave her life to Jesus, she was reading the Bible. And it says, you know, go into all the world and make disciples. And she was like, oh, okay, what part of the world are we going to? And her husband was like, hang on, hang on a second there, you know? And she's like, well, that's what it says, right? So that's what we're going to do, right? And they are in some far flung country right now raising their babies, sharing the love of Jesus.

Just do it.

Just do it, man. Jesus said, whoever believes in me will do the works that I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these. That's from John 1412 and he didn't say the pastors who believe in me, or the church staff that believes in me, or the missionaries that believe in me, he said, whoever believes in me. If you believe in Jesus, you're to do the things that Jesus did.

And here's the role of a pastor, a teacher. It says it in, I believe it's Ephesians four. It's to equip God's people to do the work. They're doing their work by equipping us.

And we get to step into it and do the things that Jesus did. And even greater things, things like having compassion on the crowds, talking to God regularly, doing and saying what the father wants us to do and say, praying for people to be healed, telling people about God, and more even greater things. So you don't have to go to seminary first or, you know, write a book. You don't have to be an author or pass a test on the material. Read it. And if you're blessed enough to be a part of a church community, I hope you are. You can watch others do it. See what it looks like coming from their life, learn from them, and then do what the Bible says. Do the very things that Jesus did. So if you feel like you're waiting for permission, I get that. I don't know if this is because I'm the youngest. I always feel like I need someone to give me permission to step into something. Here you go. You're not only permitted to do what Jesus did, you are commissioned to go into all the world and to make disciples, to make learners and followers of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You're commissioned to go and make disciples.

Thanks for letting Barry and Shawna walk the real life journey with you. The content from the Perry and Shawna podcast comes from their live show Barry and Shawna Mornings on 89.3 Moody Radio, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Reach out to us by texting 800 968 8930 and please subscribe.

Perry and Shawna Mornings

The Perry and Shawna Podcast: Real life conversations reminding you that you’re Abba’s child and tha 
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