It's the Ferry and Shawna podcast on the real life journey with you, reminding you that you are ABBA's beloved child and that Jesus has called you into his massive mission to heal the world.

It's the Ferry and Shawna podcast on the real life journey with you, reminding you that you are ABBA's beloved child and that Jesus has called you into his massive mission to heal the world.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I don't know if you knew that or not. And so Emily DeYoung, Doctor Emily is a clinical director, and she's a counselor at Winning at home, and we have her with us this morning. When it comes to our mental health, we all have moments when we feel anxious. We all feel sad. So and I think this is true at every phase of life. We know our kids are anxious. My goodness. I remember going back to like going back to school, whether it was in September or whether it was after a long weekend. There was always a lot of anxiety within the kids. So if we all have anxious thoughts, we all have sad thoughts. How do we know if this is just normal childhood stuff that our kids are going through. Or maybe we need some professional help.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I don't know if you knew that or not. And so Emily DeYoung, Doctor Emily is a clinical director, and she's a counselor at Winning at home, and we have her with us this morning. When it comes to our mental health, we all have moments when we feel anxious. We all feel sad. So and I think this is true at every phase of life. We know our kids are anxious. My goodness. I remember going back to like going back to school, whether it was in September or whether it was after a long weekend. There was always a lot of anxiety within the kids. So if we all have anxious thoughts, we all have sad thoughts. How do we know if this is just normal childhood stuff that our kids are going through. Or maybe we need some professional help.

Right. It's hard to tell, isn't it, Shauna? Because sometimes we have a day when we feel like our kids are really off. And Ben, you even talked about having an off day this morning. And so it's hard to know sometimes when it's something that we can handle ourselves and something that we perhaps should consult someone that's in that field professionally. And so I think there are three things to ask yourself. Um, first is intensity. The second is frequency, and the third is duration. So if it's happening in an intense way that seems extreme and it's happening frequently more than a couple of times a week, and it's been going on for a length of time, perhaps a couple of weeks or longer than that. Those are things that might be indicators that it could be time to consult a professional.

Right. It's hard to tell, isn't it, Shauna? Because sometimes we have a day when we feel like our kids are really off. And Ben, you even talked about having an off day this morning. And so it's hard to know sometimes when it's something that we can handle ourselves and something that we perhaps should consult someone that's in that field professionally. And so I think there are three things to ask yourself. Um, first is intensity. The second is frequency, and the third is duration. So if it's happening in an intense way that seems extreme and it's happening frequently more than a couple of times a week, and it's been going on for a length of time, perhaps a couple of weeks or longer than that. Those are things that might be indicators that it could be time to consult a professional.

And honestly, each one of those three kind of has a spectrum to it does.

And honestly, each one of those three kind of has a spectrum to it does.

It does. And it reminds me of a friend that called me a few years back, and she was really concerned because they had just discovered that their eight year old son had been exposed to pornography. And and it really, really sweet family and a great kid. And she was really concerned about what do I do now and should I bring him in for counseling. And so we talked through that and discussed some different strategies she might be able to take. But in that instance, we decided that they could handle it well on their own.

It does. And it reminds me of a friend that called me a few years back, and she was really concerned because they had just discovered that their eight year old son had been exposed to pornography. And and it really, really sweet family and a great kid. And she was really concerned about what do I do now and should I bring him in for counseling. And so we talked through that and discussed some different strategies she might be able to take. But in that instance, we decided that they could handle it well on their own.

Very good. Is it fair to say that if the question arises in your mind, like, maybe this is maybe we need help? Like, there's no harm, no foul in making an appointment and going in and having a professional have a conversation with you and say, I think you guys are good.

Very good. Is it fair to say that if the question arises in your mind, like, maybe this is maybe we need help? Like, there's no harm, no foul in making an appointment and going in and having a professional have a conversation with you and say, I think you guys are good.

Yes, yes. In fact, I really enjoy doing that because oftentimes I feel like right now mental health has really, really made some progress in terms of eliminating stigma in our culture. Yes. But it has almost swung in the opposite direction, where now it's almost like we have every time we get afraid, we think we have anxiety on some level. And so exactly what you're talking about when you talk about, well, where is that line? At what point do we understand that fear maybe has become anxiety. And so it's always great to ask the question.

Yes, yes. In fact, I really enjoy doing that because oftentimes I feel like right now mental health has really, really made some progress in terms of eliminating stigma in our culture. Yes. But it has almost swung in the opposite direction, where now it's almost like we have every time we get afraid, we think we have anxiety on some level. And so exactly what you're talking about when you talk about, well, where is that line? At what point do we understand that fear maybe has become anxiety. And so it's always great to ask the question.

So if we are dealing with, hey, it's not time to go in and necessarily get professional help. But my child, I am seeing anxiety. I'm seeing anxious thoughts or anxious behaviors. What's one thing that we can do in the moment to help lower that level of anxiety for our our child?

So if we are dealing with, hey, it's not time to go in and necessarily get professional help. But my child, I am seeing anxiety. I'm seeing anxious thoughts or anxious behaviors. What's one thing that we can do in the moment to help lower that level of anxiety for our our child?

Absolutely. I love this question. In fact, I even wrote a little book about it. Hey, go check it out. Peanut butter pie.

Absolutely. I love this question. In fact, I even wrote a little book about it. Hey, go check it out. Peanut butter pie.

Yes, it's a great book, by the way. Children's book. So beautifully illustrated and such a little journey on how to handle anxiety.

Yes, it's a great book, by the way. Children's book. So beautifully illustrated and such a little journey on how to handle anxiety.

Yes, but for parents, I like them to think about mind, body and spirit. So what's one thing that we can do with our body? Take a deep breath. Just take a time to pause for a second, take a deep breath, and then ask yourself, what are my thoughts doing in this moment? If there are a lot of worry thoughts? Let's just pause for a second and maybe replace those thoughts with something that's more helpful. And then take a moment to just pray and release those worries to the Lord.

Yes, but for parents, I like them to think about mind, body and spirit. So what's one thing that we can do with our body? Take a deep breath. Just take a time to pause for a second, take a deep breath, and then ask yourself, what are my thoughts doing in this moment? If there are a lot of worry thoughts? Let's just pause for a second and maybe replace those thoughts with something that's more helpful. And then take a moment to just pray and release those worries to the Lord.

That's so good. Very simple. Very good. And like, consider your thoughts in a non-judging way. Right? Because that can be judgy. Judgy about my anxiety, right?

That's so good. Very simple. Very good. And like, consider your thoughts in a non-judging way. Right? Because that can be judgy. Judgy about my anxiety, right?

Right. But that's a beautiful place to be kind to yourself and invite the Lord into you and just ask for compassion and and recognize that your thought is an event. It's there, but your thought doesn't make it real.

Right. But that's a beautiful place to be kind to yourself and invite the Lord into you and just ask for compassion and and recognize that your thought is an event. It's there, but your thought doesn't make it real.

Gosh, I can remember like it was yesterday. My oldest daughter was a freshman in high school. She had stayed the night with a friend, and we met in the high school gym because one of her siblings had something the next day, and I wanted to greet her the way that I always do with the big mama hug and a good morning. And we were in the gym in front of all of her friends, and I remember getting shunned for the first time. And I thought, ah, I thought, you know, you and I were tight. Like, I'm your world, right? You're my world. And it was like. I think that was the first time that I was aware of how others were influencing her. And I thought, oh, no, I'm losing my influence over my daughter. Can you talk? We have Emily with us this morning. Emily DeYoung is a clinical director at Winning at Home. Talk a little bit about parenting and influence. And do we lose our influence with our kids?

Gosh, I can remember like it was yesterday. My oldest daughter was a freshman in high school. She had stayed the night with a friend, and we met in the high school gym because one of her siblings had something the next day, and I wanted to greet her the way that I always do with the big mama hug and a good morning. And we were in the gym in front of all of her friends, and I remember getting shunned for the first time. And I thought, ah, I thought, you know, you and I were tight. Like, I'm your world, right? You're my world. And it was like. I think that was the first time that I was aware of how others were influencing her. And I thought, oh, no, I'm losing my influence over my daughter. Can you talk? We have Emily with us this morning. Emily DeYoung is a clinical director at Winning at Home. Talk a little bit about parenting and influence. And do we lose our influence with our kids?

Uh, that's such an important concept Seana. And if there's anything that I want to do this morning it really is to encourage parents. Parents you are still the most important voice in your kids lives. And research has shown that in spite of our surrounding culture, that sometimes feels like it's undermining or sabotaging that relationship between parents and kids, parents are still the most important voice, and that sometimes can create some pressure, but along with that, know that what you're saying does matter.

Uh, that's such an important concept Seana. And if there's anything that I want to do this morning it really is to encourage parents. Parents you are still the most important voice in your kids lives. And research has shown that in spite of our surrounding culture, that sometimes feels like it's undermining or sabotaging that relationship between parents and kids, parents are still the most important voice, and that sometimes can create some pressure, but along with that, know that what you're saying does matter.

Even if you get the big eye roll.

Even if you get the big eye roll.

Yes, even if you get the big eye roll on the inside, they might be really celebrating that you love them enough to give them a hug in front of their friends.

Yes, even if you get the big eye roll on the inside, they might be really celebrating that you love them enough to give them a hug in front of their friends.

Oh, that's so good. Here's the question. I've noticed young moms teaching very young children emotion language. I've heard a two year old say, I'm feeling nervous. Does a two year old know what nervous means? It seems like it's used as maybe an excuse to obey or an excuse to participate. What are your thoughts?

Oh, that's so good. Here's the question. I've noticed young moms teaching very young children emotion language. I've heard a two year old say, I'm feeling nervous. Does a two year old know what nervous means? It seems like it's used as maybe an excuse to obey or an excuse to participate. What are your thoughts?

Yeah, there's a lot in that question, but the first thing that comes to mind for me is that a two year old is still in the stage of language development. So anytime we can introduce words to a two year old, that's fantastic. And if we can build in emotional vocabulary, even better. So whether or not they're learning about what the names of animals are, is it a cow? Is it a sheep? Is it a donkey? That's great. And let's maybe introduce some emotional vocabulary too. They might get it wrong. They might mistake the word fear for anger for a little while, which is totally understandable at the age of two. But it's nice to start implanting those ideas and start thinking about what emotions are really important in the lives of kids.

Yeah, there's a lot in that question, but the first thing that comes to mind for me is that a two year old is still in the stage of language development. So anytime we can introduce words to a two year old, that's fantastic. And if we can build in emotional vocabulary, even better. So whether or not they're learning about what the names of animals are, is it a cow? Is it a sheep? Is it a donkey? That's great. And let's maybe introduce some emotional vocabulary too. They might get it wrong. They might mistake the word fear for anger for a little while, which is totally understandable at the age of two. But it's nice to start implanting those ideas and start thinking about what emotions are really important in the lives of kids.

Well, learning to manage our emotions, that's a big topic. I mean, all throughout their childhoods, if you can give them words early on, it helps.

Well, learning to manage our emotions, that's a big topic. I mean, all throughout their childhoods, if you can give them words early on, it helps.

Exactly. Exactly. Yes.

Exactly. Exactly. Yes.

I am so glad that God created us with emotions. I need to keep my emotions I get to we get to experience our emotions with God. He did create all the feels, but I don't want the feelings to govern my life. I had a friend that called me and she was struggling with the decision that she had to make, and old boyfriend had offered to cover her flight to come see him. Let's, you know, let's revisit the possibility of the relationship. And the relationship ended because it needed to. It should have. It was right and good. But man, she felt wanted and all the heart tug of this invitation. And so she reached out to me and was like, what do I do? And it's just the emotions of it all were confusing her decision making.

I am so glad that God created us with emotions. I need to keep my emotions I get to we get to experience our emotions with God. He did create all the feels, but I don't want the feelings to govern my life. I had a friend that called me and she was struggling with the decision that she had to make, and old boyfriend had offered to cover her flight to come see him. Let's, you know, let's revisit the possibility of the relationship. And the relationship ended because it needed to. It should have. It was right and good. But man, she felt wanted and all the heart tug of this invitation. And so she reached out to me and was like, what do I do? And it's just the emotions of it all were confusing her decision making.

Absolutely. And emotions are, like you said, they're such an important part of who we are in such a sweet gift from the Lord. And yet it's important that we recognize that emotions should not be our decision makers in our lives. It's so important to think about our decisions, and even to let our emotions simmer a little bit before we make decisions, because if we make decisions out of an emotional place, our emotions fluctuate every day. And so, especially for the friend that you're referencing, it's it may be that the next day she realizes that maybe I don't have the I don't have whatever I need to travel, I don't have the funds, I don't have, um, the, the time that I can get off from work. And so when we really pause and let our thoughts dominate our decisions, we usually have much better outcomes.

Absolutely. And emotions are, like you said, they're such an important part of who we are in such a sweet gift from the Lord. And yet it's important that we recognize that emotions should not be our decision makers in our lives. It's so important to think about our decisions, and even to let our emotions simmer a little bit before we make decisions, because if we make decisions out of an emotional place, our emotions fluctuate every day. And so, especially for the friend that you're referencing, it's it may be that the next day she realizes that maybe I don't have the I don't have whatever I need to travel, I don't have the funds, I don't have, um, the, the time that I can get off from work. And so when we really pause and let our thoughts dominate our decisions, we usually have much better outcomes.

We're talking with Emily DeYoung. She is the clinical director of Winning at Home. And we've got a quick link for you at Moody Radio. So when it comes to not letting our feelings govern, there's just a lot of conversation right now. Maybe it's just the circles I'm in, but a lot of conversations about validating feelings.

We're talking with Emily DeYoung. She is the clinical director of Winning at Home. And we've got a quick link for you at Moody Radio. So when it comes to not letting our feelings govern, there's just a lot of conversation right now. Maybe it's just the circles I'm in, but a lot of conversations about validating feelings.

And indeed.

And indeed.

Okay, so we want to validate our feelings, but we want to not let them make our decisions. Can you dive into that a little bit?

Okay, so we want to validate our feelings, but we want to not let them make our decisions. Can you dive into that a little bit?

Sure. And that captures the concept so well because our feelings yes, they fluctuate a lot throughout the day. And and especially for our teenagers, they're in a developmental stage where their emotions are still developing and their emotions are strong and they are really prone to that emotional reasoning. In other words, they use their emotions to make a decision. And that can be really impulsive. And that's just where they are as far as the developmental stage goes. But we also know that making decisions based on our emotions is usually not a great idea because it can lead to poor outcomes.

Sure. And that captures the concept so well because our feelings yes, they fluctuate a lot throughout the day. And and especially for our teenagers, they're in a developmental stage where their emotions are still developing and their emotions are strong and they are really prone to that emotional reasoning. In other words, they use their emotions to make a decision. And that can be really impulsive. And that's just where they are as far as the developmental stage goes. But we also know that making decisions based on our emotions is usually not a great idea because it can lead to poor outcomes.

It's a real roller coaster ride for anybody in our life.

It's a real roller coaster ride for anybody in our life.

Right, right.

Right, right.

When we're when we're governed by our emotions.

When we're when we're governed by our emotions.

Yes. So as a parent, if I can just offer a word of encouragement to parents, especially for those who have teenagers at home, recognize that their emotions are important. So it's okay to validate those emotions. Yeah, I see you're feeling really excited, or I see that you're feeling really nervous about that. But let's not that cloud our judgment and let's really lean into what is the wise thing to do, not let our emotional mind take control, but let our wise mind take control and then make a decision from that place.

Yes. So as a parent, if I can just offer a word of encouragement to parents, especially for those who have teenagers at home, recognize that their emotions are important. So it's okay to validate those emotions. Yeah, I see you're feeling really excited, or I see that you're feeling really nervous about that. But let's not that cloud our judgment and let's really lean into what is the wise thing to do, not let our emotional mind take control, but let our wise mind take control and then make a decision from that place.

Okay, this is flipping the switch a little bit, but I'm just very specifically remembering a time when I used to lead a worship team at our church, and it was Wednesday night. I was really, really tired. It was time to leave for rehearsal, and I didn't want to go. I didn't I didn't feel like going to lead the worship rehearsal. And the kids were downstairs and I just had said my husband was home too, but I was like, I'm leaving for worship rehearsal, you guys. I'll see you later, you know? Yes. And my, my youngest was like, mom, wait. And I'm like, ah. So she comes upstairs and she gives me a big hug. And, you know, my whole body, like my whole demeanor, like everything was just right. And she's like, mom. She said, why are you feeling what you're feeling? Why? Why? And I said, I just I don't feel fully prepared. I've had a really busy week and I'm feeling anxious. I don't feel fully prepared and I need to lead the team. And so I just don't feel like going. And she's like, you are a worship leader. Not because somebody gave you that title, but because that's who you are. You're prepared because you love Jesus and you spend time with him. And what what would be better preparation for leading a team and leading worship than have having spent that time with the Lord? She was like hyped me up big time and then put her, then put her little hand on my shoulder and prayed for me and sent me on my way.

Okay, this is flipping the switch a little bit, but I'm just very specifically remembering a time when I used to lead a worship team at our church, and it was Wednesday night. I was really, really tired. It was time to leave for rehearsal, and I didn't want to go. I didn't I didn't feel like going to lead the worship rehearsal. And the kids were downstairs and I just had said my husband was home too, but I was like, I'm leaving for worship rehearsal, you guys. I'll see you later, you know? Yes. And my, my youngest was like, mom, wait. And I'm like, ah. So she comes upstairs and she gives me a big hug. And, you know, my whole body, like my whole demeanor, like everything was just right. And she's like, mom. She said, why are you feeling what you're feeling? Why? Why? And I said, I just I don't feel fully prepared. I've had a really busy week and I'm feeling anxious. I don't feel fully prepared and I need to lead the team. And so I just don't feel like going. And she's like, you are a worship leader. Not because somebody gave you that title, but because that's who you are. You're prepared because you love Jesus and you spend time with him. And what what would be better preparation for leading a team and leading worship than have having spent that time with the Lord? She was like hyped me up big time and then put her, then put her little hand on my shoulder and prayed for me and sent me on my way.

I love it, that's fantastic. And it reminds me of actually yesterday this happened where I got home from work and I was supposed to be exercising. I was going to meet a friend for some exercise and man, I did not feel like it. I was tired, but I had made a commitment and I really wanted to honor that commitment. And so even though I didn't feel like it, I pushed through and I made a decision with my mind and and believe it or not, a half an hour later, after exercising, I felt fantastic.

I love it, that's fantastic. And it reminds me of actually yesterday this happened where I got home from work and I was supposed to be exercising. I was going to meet a friend for some exercise and man, I did not feel like it. I was tired, but I had made a commitment and I really wanted to honor that commitment. And so even though I didn't feel like it, I pushed through and I made a decision with my mind and and believe it or not, a half an hour later, after exercising, I felt fantastic.

You probably felt great physically, but you also probably felt proud of yourself for pushing through that.

You probably felt great physically, but you also probably felt proud of yourself for pushing through that.

Exactly, exactly. So as parents, it is important for us to encourage our kids to push through even when they are feeling they're feeling down or they're feeling tired. It's it's okay to ask them if it's okay just to keep going. Keep going. Don't stop.

Exactly, exactly. So as parents, it is important for us to encourage our kids to push through even when they are feeling they're feeling down or they're feeling tired. It's it's okay to ask them if it's okay just to keep going. Keep going. Don't stop.

Yeah. And to let our kids know you can do hard things.

Yeah. And to let our kids know you can do hard things.

Yeah, yeah. Even when you don't feel.

Yeah, yeah. Even when you don't feel.

Like.

Like.

It. Even when you don't feel like it. You can do hard things.

It. Even when you don't feel like it. You can do hard things.

Yesterday I heard doctor. Oh, no. I think I just I just gave him a doctorate. I heard John Mark comer. He's not a doctor. I don't know if he's a doctor or he's not a doctor.

Yesterday I heard doctor. Oh, no. I think I just I just gave him a doctorate. I heard John Mark comer. He's not a doctor. I don't know if he's a doctor or he's not a doctor.

He certainly deserves to be. If he's not, he does.

He certainly deserves to be. If he's not, he does.

He's a wise man.

He's a wise man.

He says.

He says.

Smart things. Anyway, this is one of the smart things I heard from him yesterday. He was talking about parenting, and it just brought so much comfort to my heart to hear him say that our kids do not need perfect parents. They need parents who are going to mess up, but when they mess up, know how to reconcile the relationship and that that is actually something that builds resilience.

Smart things. Anyway, this is one of the smart things I heard from him yesterday. He was talking about parenting, and it just brought so much comfort to my heart to hear him say that our kids do not need perfect parents. They need parents who are going to mess up, but when they mess up, know how to reconcile the relationship and that that is actually something that builds resilience.

Absolutely, absolutely. And a clinical term for that would be a repair attempt. And so anytime a parent can confess and say, I'm sorry I blew it, but and really work on that connectedness with their child, that absolutely builds resilience.

Absolutely, absolutely. And a clinical term for that would be a repair attempt. And so anytime a parent can confess and say, I'm sorry I blew it, but and really work on that connectedness with their child, that absolutely builds resilience.

In the relationship. We're talking with Doctor Emily DeYoung. She is the clinical director at Winning at Home. We've got a quick link for winning a home at Moody Radio. Okay, so resilience is something we want to be able to bless our kids with. How else do we like? What do they need and how can we give it to them as parents?

In the relationship. We're talking with Doctor Emily DeYoung. She is the clinical director at Winning at Home. We've got a quick link for winning a home at Moody Radio. Okay, so resilience is something we want to be able to bless our kids with. How else do we like? What do they need and how can we give it to them as parents?

I love that question because there's so much focus on what could be wrong with kids that we really, really do need to focus on what's going right and promote some of those protective factors that help them weather hard storms. So thinking about five things that are really important for kids to know, and one is just having a clear sense of purpose and meaning. And as a parent, I can instill that from an early age, recognizing that God has called them to a specific purpose and has created them with the gifts and abilities that they need in order to accomplish that, and calling that them to that at a young age really gives them a sense of direction. It's a North Star, if you will.

I love that question because there's so much focus on what could be wrong with kids that we really, really do need to focus on what's going right and promote some of those protective factors that help them weather hard storms. So thinking about five things that are really important for kids to know, and one is just having a clear sense of purpose and meaning. And as a parent, I can instill that from an early age, recognizing that God has called them to a specific purpose and has created them with the gifts and abilities that they need in order to accomplish that, and calling that them to that at a young age really gives them a sense of direction. It's a North Star, if you will.

That's really good. I remember when I was little, my my parents did such a great job of letting me know that God had a plan for my life, and my little heart translated that to mean that there was going to be this moment when the sky parted and the angels sang and the light shone on me. And I was like, this is it. This is it. This is my moment. This is why I'm here. And you know, a few decades into this life, I have come to realize that the moments happen all the time. Yes, of our purpose. They are there so we can give that gift to our kids too, right? Like you matter today, not just someday. It's not just your potential. Exactly who you are.

That's really good. I remember when I was little, my my parents did such a great job of letting me know that God had a plan for my life, and my little heart translated that to mean that there was going to be this moment when the sky parted and the angels sang and the light shone on me. And I was like, this is it. This is it. This is my moment. This is why I'm here. And you know, a few decades into this life, I have come to realize that the moments happen all the time. Yes, of our purpose. They are there so we can give that gift to our kids too, right? Like you matter today, not just someday. It's not just your potential. Exactly who you are.

And who you are matters today. Yeah, absolutely.

And who you are matters today. Yeah, absolutely.

What else?

What else?

I love that. The second thing I would say is resiliency is a key factor for kids for positive outcomes. And that just means that in spite of hard things, they're able to weather that and keep going. And we had talked about that a little bit earlier of just saying you can do hard things in spite of how you might feel.

I love that. The second thing I would say is resiliency is a key factor for kids for positive outcomes. And that just means that in spite of hard things, they're able to weather that and keep going. And we had talked about that a little bit earlier of just saying you can do hard things in spite of how you might feel.

Very good.

Very good.

Yeah. The third thing would be just a sense of optimism and having a positive outlook and just hope for the future, which, again, for someone from a base of faith, recognizes that no matter what, God is sovereign and he is in control over things in our lives. And as a result of that, even if things are hard, we still have hope because we know that our Redeemer lives.

Yeah. The third thing would be just a sense of optimism and having a positive outlook and just hope for the future, which, again, for someone from a base of faith, recognizes that no matter what, God is sovereign and he is in control over things in our lives. And as a result of that, even if things are hard, we still have hope because we know that our Redeemer lives.

And that's not denying reality.

And that's not denying reality.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Circumstances that are. It's knowing that there is a truth in the midst of the reality that is greater than the circumstances.

Circumstances that are. It's knowing that there is a truth in the midst of the reality that is greater than the circumstances.

Indeed. Yeah.

Indeed. Yeah.

Awesome.

Awesome.

And that can really especially in those valleys, when life gets really, really hard, it's helpful to know that even though this season is dark and hard, there's still hope for the future.

And that can really especially in those valleys, when life gets really, really hard, it's helpful to know that even though this season is dark and hard, there's still hope for the future.

It's good it's not, you know. Oh, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

It's good it's not, you know. Oh, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Pushing it away.

Pushing it away.

It's coming alongside within that time.

It's coming alongside within that time.

Awesome. What else can we give our kiddos?

Awesome. What else can we give our kiddos?

Yeah. An internal locus of control is really important. And that just means that they recognize that they have some agency or control over their life and circumstances. It's so easy to blame everything around us for the things that are happening. But indeed we do have a choice of how we're going to respond. And so as a parent, if I can instill that and help them recognize that, no, you do have a choice. You might not be able to control the circumstance, but you can definitely control how you respond to it.

Yeah. An internal locus of control is really important. And that just means that they recognize that they have some agency or control over their life and circumstances. It's so easy to blame everything around us for the things that are happening. But indeed we do have a choice of how we're going to respond. And so as a parent, if I can instill that and help them recognize that, no, you do have a choice. You might not be able to control the circumstance, but you can definitely control how you respond to it.

Yeah, you have agency. You have power, I think, and there's nothing worse than feeling like I'm a complete victim in this situation and there's nothing I can do.

Yeah, you have agency. You have power, I think, and there's nothing worse than feeling like I'm a complete victim in this situation and there's nothing I can do.

Right. It makes it promotes that helplessness and hopelessness when indeed, no matter what, we still can. We can embrace that sense of agency.

Right. It makes it promotes that helplessness and hopelessness when indeed, no matter what, we still can. We can embrace that sense of agency.

Was that five? I haven't been counting.

Was that five? I haven't been counting.

The last thing I have on my list is just a supportive relationship. And we covered that a little bit earlier when we talked about how a parent can have a repair attempt, even when they when they do something hard.

The last thing I have on my list is just a supportive relationship. And we covered that a little bit earlier when we talked about how a parent can have a repair attempt, even when they when they do something hard.

On Sunday, I brought my oldest daughter to O'Hare airport to fly back to the Czech Republic, where she lives. That's home for her. She works there, sharing the love of Jesus with people, and she was with us for six months. Wow. It's wild that six months went by really quick, but she taught me a lot during that six months. She taught me to use reusable bags. I no longer receive or accept plastic bags. Wow. I bring my bags. You know, Europe is very earth sensitive. And so she taught me to make better choices. She really upped my recycle game big time. She also taught me I don't need as much as I think I do. She is absolutely a minimalist and I'm like, oh, that's cute, let's buy it. So she definitely taught me to just be content. Hey mom, don't you already have a black t shirt? Well, yeah, I have 11, you know. So that was. She changed my life. She changed my life in so many ways. But I think the most impactful thing that I learned when she was here is that every day is a gift. I'm telling you, six months went by way too quick, and we knew that it would. So every day that I had with her. I was grateful for that day. It didn't matter if we were running errands or if we were buying groceries, or we just were bumping into each other in the kitchen while making ginger shots or laying on the couch watching a show together and just laughing, each day was a gift. She's back in the Czech Republic, and she's doing what God has called her to do, and I'm so, so, so proud of her. But even though she's there and I'm here, I hold on to what she gave me. I'm still using, still refusing to take plastic bags home. And I'm I'm living today knowing that today is a gift from God.

On Sunday, I brought my oldest daughter to O'Hare airport to fly back to the Czech Republic, where she lives. That's home for her. She works there, sharing the love of Jesus with people, and she was with us for six months. Wow. It's wild that six months went by really quick, but she taught me a lot during that six months. She taught me to use reusable bags. I no longer receive or accept plastic bags. Wow. I bring my bags. You know, Europe is very earth sensitive. And so she taught me to make better choices. She really upped my recycle game big time. She also taught me I don't need as much as I think I do. She is absolutely a minimalist and I'm like, oh, that's cute, let's buy it. So she definitely taught me to just be content. Hey mom, don't you already have a black t shirt? Well, yeah, I have 11, you know. So that was. She changed my life. She changed my life in so many ways. But I think the most impactful thing that I learned when she was here is that every day is a gift. I'm telling you, six months went by way too quick, and we knew that it would. So every day that I had with her. I was grateful for that day. It didn't matter if we were running errands or if we were buying groceries, or we just were bumping into each other in the kitchen while making ginger shots or laying on the couch watching a show together and just laughing, each day was a gift. She's back in the Czech Republic, and she's doing what God has called her to do, and I'm so, so, so proud of her. But even though she's there and I'm here, I hold on to what she gave me. I'm still using, still refusing to take plastic bags home. And I'm I'm living today knowing that today is a gift from God.

Thanks for letting Barry and Shawna walk the real life journey with you. The content from the Perry and Shawna podcast comes from their live show fairy inshallah. Mornings on 89.3 Moody Radio, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Reach out to us by texting 809 68 8930 and please subscribe.

Thanks for letting Barry and Shawna walk the real life journey with you. The content from the Perry and Shawna podcast comes from their live show fairy inshallah. Mornings on 89.3 Moody Radio, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Reach out to us by texting 809 68 8930 and please subscribe.