It's our sporting special - because, you know, this is where you come for athletic content.
Who are the hottest athletes at the games? Which sport stars have started an OnlyFans? And why is Grindr blocked in the athlete's village?
We break it all down for you.Plus Chris is back from the US and he has a gripe with the public bathroom stalls.
Enjoy all that and more in this week's episode!
Out of the Gates with Maddie McLean, Chris Henry and Brad Christensen seer, Hi, boys, Hi, how are you? How are you?
I am very well?
Boys, gosh, it's I mean, it's again it's a little bit weird, but we'd and from zoom, but I'm well, how are you? How are you feelers going?
I'm so impressed that you have got this up and running. I mean, I'm as surprised as anyone. I think.
I saw the note in the chat and I was like, this is going to happen. And I woke up in the morning and I was like is it? And then you were like there's a podcast out and I was like well, And then I listened to it and I was like, this is very good. Everyone sounds great, very happy. I do have one bit of feedback, Bradley, have you turned the emails off ye computer or to get them on for today?
While were they doing?
There were there were a few dings in last week's Yeah, yeah, it's very popular. There was a lot.
There was a there was a few, a few teams messages, a couple of dings, a couple of dongs.
Spy as long as I wasn't the book. Well, you are a fresh man in town.
You're not applying that you are, of course, No, no, no, no no, somebody from Parmison North would like to see a screenshot.
Of your body.
Bloody, a bloody faceless, bloody profile, you know, just as I think.
You'd be able to pull it off. I was never a tour. I never had a never was never a tour. So on grind do you know what I used to use? What I used my publicity photo from tv T It was such a good photo.
That's that's like your driver's license.
I was like, well, I've dressed up for this, They've got they've hired a professional photographer. Why wouldn't I take full advantage of this?
So would you have it as like the main image, so like anyone just going through the grid would be able to see televisions many McLain just hanging out the front.
Yeah, I under an dard about whether or not I should show my face at all. But I was like, well, what am I afraid of? Like I'm allowed to be on a dating app? Yeah that is true. And I was like yeah, I mean, honestly, I was so innocent and naive. I wasn't I wasn't seeing the art like whole picks on Grinder back in those days. I was very innocent only back in those days. Yeah. The funniest thing is I've only become like a slut since I got marri No, but I was. I was so innocent. I was really just I was literally just chatting to guys just I was trying to find a boyfriend on grinder. Hallo, just pick me.
What I would have imagine, though, is that you've obviously got your publicity photos as your head shot, and then did the match the drape, so to speak, like when you went into the profile, it didn't just say sort of like subby bottom.
Just no, no, no, I was so innocent. I was so innocent. Do you not believe it?
Right?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, innocent, innocent and chat filthy in reality.
Really because I thought, like the check gets you into the bedroom and like all the filthy kind of you know things, and then setting really high expectations and then getting into the bedroom and it not being that you know.
Yeah, I get someone's house and then you're like this and I do that, and then you get there and.
They're just like, cheers off, please.
I was.
I went in with a lower expectations, exceed expectations mentalities.
Yeah, that's very that's very smart talking about like take your shoes off.
Do you guys like take socks off when you're rooting? Yeah?
Not always, I would say almost always. But do you know what I think I personally have a little bit of a not a kink, but I think there's something really sexy about a man standing naked only wearing their shoes shoes on too. Yeah, I will something really really hot about it about a guy just standing naked wearing shoes. In fact, I might even have a photo of a guy.
And the standing in front of the Yeah.
Yeah, no, I don't no, no, no, that.
Was a dream.
That was it was talking about shoes. And we'll obviously do a whip whip around. Yeah, Chris, welcome.
Back, Yeah, welcome back. Thank you. It's nice to be back. I missed you. I missed you boys.
I thoroughly enjoyed just jumping on the old podcast.
That's really confused and that you were sorry father, than you're now doing the word around. What are you means speaking of shoes?
Chris, welcome back, Welcome back, because he's been well traveled, but you sent us a couple of pictures of was it the tep tech game?
Oh? Oh yes, okay, will it be quick.
I'll just quickly about what I discovered when I was in there around the toilets couple. Well, shoud we do it? Should we jump into it?
Let jump into it?
Wrap the band aid? Where? First of all, where we were you so.
Into Chicagogo in Illinois, in America? Lovely place, very far away. Everything's so far away from New.
Zealand, it really is. What is it to Chicago? Seventeen hours fifteen and four?
So yes, exactly, No, not qae exactly, but yeah, a long way I left yet, been a long, long long time to get home, but had an amazing time went away from mahe were very successful, got some great stuff done, saw some good of the city. But my big thing, and I put the actually in the Facebook group. My big thought of coming out of it was just the lake of privacy around toilets because we know, have you guys been to the States recently?
Of you dumps in America? I haven't been to the States in ages. I couldn't tell you.
Last time there was two years ago, and yes, I was quite surprised by the toilet situation, Like.
I'm not even shitting you.
Since the pun the toilets there have just got absolutely no privacy, to the point where there's often only one cubicle in the whole room, and it's kind of almost like they just put a fence around it, like you're, I don't know, like your cattle. It's sort of one toilet was almost up to my knees in terms of how high the gap was at the bottom.
They're hot.
When you stand up, you can see over the top at like you can essentially eyeball people.
Jesus.
So if you want to go and do a number two's or a lady ways like, you might as well have nothing around you.
Yeah, what why what's the point of that?
Well, the gators seem to think that it was for sexual purpos. I don't know whether the Americans are smart enough to be able worked out that they should make toilets for cruising, but it's.
Very it's very very public. Was that a confronting, very confronting.
I mean, I maybe I've just been used to having the privacy that you would normally have at home, but the idea, I mean, there's no privacy, not only in terms.
Of what they can see of you, but what they could hear of you. Okay, I've just googled it and there's a whole reddit thread. Why do American bathroom stores have these massive gaps at the bottom Tell me more. Google says it's for people to see occupancy and for water to flow. Ah, but I don't buy a water can still flow. People can still see if a stall is occupied or not by the state of the door slash, occupied sign or light. So apparently there's not just a not just the bottom gap that's an issue. There's a huge gap at the door where the door is latched, where people outside compectively look at you pooping without even trying to peek in. Yeah, what's Yeah, so the answer the answer is I don't have an answer for you.
No, But if he's a full redd it's read about it. That's very That was helpful. Good to know that I'm not the only one. It's quite taken by it.
Yeah, so with like, I haven't locked into it either. But the double tip on the on the floor next to the cubicle, is that a sign for cruising?
Yes, yes it is. You're looking so well.
I'll keep my sources very anonymous here, but a good friend of mine, big fan of a public toilet, you know, great for relieving yourself, great for having someone relieve themselves on you, all of that sort of stuff. Yeah, he says that it's you sort of sit there and then you so if you mentioned there's like a few of them in a row, and you just sort of push your foot out to the right, and it's a couple of little taps on the ground and if you get a tap back, So we'll go.
The practicality of doing something in a bathroom store, though, just seems wild to me. Well, to be fear, this gap is so high that you really need to bend your knees like you very easy. So, okay, so you're in the bathroom, Yeah, you're like, I'm keen on some action. There's someone, you know that someone in the store next to you. You do a little tap tap. If you get a tap tap back, then what someone puts their dick underneath correct and you just get on your hands and knees on the floor basically. And so do you think that is why there's such a high gap?
Well, to be fear, I don't know whether they were hoping that the chicagoy Here International Airport was going to be the place there A lot of cruising happened, So maybe not.
Maybe it's a byproduct and we couldn't do it in New Zealand. Gets you're too slow, too low.
But in terms of practicality, would you not like and just circling back? Is that always your right foot doing the tapping, not the leaf?
What depends on what side of the bathroom the other other stallers?
Okay, no, that's that's just want to clarify that. The other thing is why are you so?
Why are you? Why are you? Why are you drilling down on the nitty gritty here?
Because because I'm interested in I want to seek.
There's the emailing.
Anyway? Cool?
Should we do it like a game, like if you get one and you have to read it out loud to us?
Yeah, it'll be was it me?
Oh my god, it was me. I read it out loud. Here we are giving you a hard time bread.
You.
I've just I tried to mute. No, you have to close this, just close.
The screen y buttons, because you will lose me.
Yeah, I know. I don't want to lose you.
In terms of practicality, wouldn't you take your foot and then go, oh, won't you just come into my stare?
Well, maybe you I don't know, maybe maybe since you're since you were out of town, maybe tonight, when you're lying in bed, you could do some research on the old twits maybe and you could find a couple of little pictorial guides about how best today.
And I guess if you're in a gym, you would go right, tep tep, come out of the stalls together, there's let's go the shower. In terms of practicality, right, I don't know. I'm just surmising.
I think what you're I think the point is, Brad, if you're in the bathroom store, when you're tap tapping, you kind of want the excitement of the dick under the stall and to be otherwise you just otherwise you just get a hook up. Wouldn't you like? The whole point of it is that there's something kind of hot for you about it being anonymous and it being under the stall and all of that kind of thing. No, FA glory hole, very much like a glory hole.
Wow, this podcast has really gone in a different direction than I thought it went upfront. I thought it was going to be the Olympic special.
Can I tell you We've spent eleven minutes talking about the gaps and the doors and the UIs toilets, but.
It's practical talking about the gate is. Are going to love it, I mean, and just a shout out to it. Ashley Rutherford, who's the ex Deputy mirror as traveling around the United States of America for the next six months. There you go, so safe travels over there.
Let us know safe travels in in a tap tap to you just before we wrap up the tap tapping.
I almost had a really good faux pa on the internet because obviously I was so taken by the stores. I was like, I need to take a photo of this to send it. And then I re looked at the photo that I was going to put on the internet and it's just really just a photo of me shooting in a toilet.
Oh my god, it really is.
It's quite reflective the door. It hadn't noticed that. So I'm glad that I saved you all for that. How are we finding the Olympics. Let's let's dive right into the Olympics. Oh my god, I think look, gators, welcome on board. This is this is your official Olympics podcast, and this is where you kept watching Sky. This is where it's at.
To be fair, they know this is where you come for high quality athletic content.
And also how amazing, how amazing are the organizer of the Olympics that they're just like, first of all, we're going to put on a really fucking camp opening ceremony and make it really fad. And then just because we know the gays have got a short attention span, first up, diving, swimming, get it out of the way.
You get the first traps out of the way. But I've got one name that dis strengths or two names boards to mind, Jules Boyer and Tom Daily.
Amazing.
So if you're not involved in the first of all, if you're not involved in the Facebook group, where have you've been? Because there's been some amazing sharing of posts today.
Tell me a little bit more about Jack? Is Jack not not Jack? Sorry?
Is he the one that has quite the produding package and the red and blue shorts?
Can I read out the beta and what Pockets replied to in our and our sort of us our three way group chat on Instagram as Jewels the bulge guy, Yes.
He is, so you sent through it? Well, yes, so something was it you that sent through the bulge? Or Brad said through origin. Then I did the detective work, Brad seen through the bulge. And then all of a sudden another a profile came up, and I thought, well, there's the profile guy, the bulge guy, or we are we have we gone off on two separate tangents here. I was getting confused.
You grounded us.
Jules is so handsome, so handsome, very European looking. Now question and we'll put this up like, if you're not in the group, come join on Facebook. But also we will put it up on Instagram because we can't just because we've got the group, we can't forget about our Instagram. Is it is very true?
We are bringing Facebook back, though we have one poke at a time, but we will put it up on Instagram.
But so does he have a boner? Like? What is going on there?
I don't, I don't know, but someone that is in the group chat said, win win a bon at dinner?
Yeah?
I really don't unless he's just really well hung.
Even well hung, though it's definitely protruding. It is sharper than just a just a well hung flaccid pine.
You know, yeah, face doesn't it as gorgeous?
And also the way that the togs the design on them, it sort of makes that it almost look like it's just an angry face.
We put something in the Gator's Facebook page saying who are the Olympians that we need to be keeping an eye out for? Boy oh boy.
I think the terminology would be viral is what it is where it ends.
Agreed, I would I'll share some of the names. Tom Dailey obviously got to mention he's a that's a given. Absolutely.
Once you do spotlight then really you're just you're you're destined for great things.
Ossie Swam, Mikyle charm is pretty good in the pool as well as to look at Taylor. Okay, someone else said a guy called Casimir Schmidt. He's the latest one. Have you seen this one? This was very new to the Oh yeah he is hot. Look at that bread. Oh my gooddy well, ye looks like some sort of wrestler or something. Maybe my favorite one was the one that I contributed. Fernando he's a canoe sprinter.
Oh yes, oh yes, he he looks like he would be nice to you but then mean to you and you got into the bedroom.
He'd he'd buy your dinner and then spit in your face.
He could potentially stand at the end of your bed and his shows as well.
Don't don't look like we've done with a look like jewels in a minute?
Jack Lafer, who was Tom Daly's synchronized swimming partner, A diving partner, I should say, who also has a things?
Does he just all right? Boys assemble in the grip chat Ah, Oh my god, is there him? That's him? Bradley's it comes throughs. It made its way down the line years.
It's definitely come.
I haven't we haven't had a sillib peen in a while, have we. This is uh, this is a penis. It's it's on the internet. Big.
Then it bigs out out to Peter for saying there's a nice DP on the Twitter. So obviously, what am I supposed to know?
When? But that is a nice that's a nice cock on balls.
It's lovely se what that's a runner?
You wouldn't want to like get like a hard on when you're diving. That would just create so much splash, wouldn't it?
It most certainly was it would It would downgrade you in the eyes of the Russians. I reckon wn't it? Yeah, they wouldn't be into it. They wouldn't be into it at all, none, at all. No, did we just talk about Kyle Dake? No, who's that? He is a wrestler. Our Roberts put him in the group. He is. He's certainly celebrating a good result. Is it the American wrestler?
And again he's got that sort of like the sort of wrestling outfits which I thought was just for sex, but apparently.
Think it's him for professional wrestling. And he's got sort of the cock up top balls down below.
Wow.
Yeah, okay, Well keep sending them in. If you spot any Olympians that we need to keep an eye on, you can drop them on the Facebook page, the Gators facebook page, or as we said, head to Instagram. We're still there and still loving you on Instagram, I do.
Just before we wrap up the Olympics, I got two quick pieces of news. Oh I've got news as well from the Olympics. First one, do you remember a few years ago we talked about the guy that was that the tonguean guy that was all oiled up and he was a flag bear in a previous Olympic.
Yes, we talked about this. He's gone back. He was the Tonguean flag bearer.
But my favorite story out of the Olympics, which I think maybe relates to me well, is.
About the lifeguard. Ah a year across this. I'm not across the lifeguard at all.
What a story.
So first of all, safety first. When you're doing when you're Olympic swimmer, you still need a lifeguard at the pool. This guy's lifeguarding at the at the Olympic swimming pools. And hello and behold they spot in the water at the at the pool sort of a foreign object.
No one's quite sure what it is.
So this absolutely legend just rips his clothes off down to his speedos. Dead botty all. They call it a dad bottom and I'd love to be that sized yolow. He dives up into the pool, swims over it, gets it's a swim cat, swims back out.
Absolute fucking hero. I love that. Oh I got amazing, So big shout out to him.
He's the you would think, if there's useless jobs in the world, being a lifeguard at the Olympics swimming thing might be, might be up there, but turns out it's actually just a modern day hero.
I mean, if you're going to go to the Olympics and be a lifeguard, you'd want to be put to use, wouldn't you, Because it would be rare that you'd be put to use very much, So it'd be a slightly waste of time twiddling your thumbs a lot of the time.
It would depend on how how big the gap and the toilet stalls do you talk to work in more ways than month.
It would be a god that the changing rooms at the Olympics would be. That would be a nice.
Thing to absolutely And there's the changing rooms, but what about the bed And Tom Daily's little this is what the beds are in the little like doggie stole position at the end, just to end that little video off.
So athletes, Yeah, the athletes have these card beds basically made out of cardboard boxes. And so all the Olympians are obviously on social media and TikTok and giving little tours of the village and the rooms and everything. And Tom Daly gave a tour of his room and was showing us, showing you know, his followers the bed situation, and he jumped on the bed but kind of did this like arched back.
Oh, it's like a model arch, like if you had to put an arch in the loop and say this is the arch the bottom should have it was that?
Do you think he knew what he was doing?
Little twink?
Yeah, it was a real insight, it was. It was an insight into his life, wasn't it.
He was being quite cheeky and I'm here for it.
But speaking of the Olympic village and gay athletes, I did read that Grinder has been blocked from the air blocked Yeah, because well no, sorry, that's not right. The location services have been blocked from the village because you know, on like on Grinder and on Tinder and all sorts, you can well Grinder especially you can really specifically hone in on an area to see the profiles around there. You can do it like very specific to like a house even really oh yeah, you could like zoom in on a house and be like, who's does anyone living here have a Grinder profile? And so they've said that they don't want people like from out, you know, from anywhere, like if I was in New Zealand on Grinder, they don't want me going in, zooming into where the Olympic village is and seeing the profiles that are in and around the village, because this actually happened at the last Olympics and a couple of athletes got outed because people were going on finding their profiles, chatting to them, figuring out that they were Olympic athletes, and then blasting them online and being like, look who I found on grind in the Olympic village.
I mean, it's such a struggle, isn't it, Because you know, if you are an Olympic athlete, you know there's sort of that weird version of people because they're only a celebrity for a short period of time and they kind of go back to almost a bit more obscurity. So you're trying to get yourself a gold medal, but at the same time you're just being inundated with pictures of people's auseholes.
It'd be hard to focus, very hard to focus. Yeah, So Grinder said, if an athlete is not out or comes from a country where being LGBT plus is dangerous or illegal, using Grinder can put them at risk of being outed by curious individuals who may try to identify and expose them on the app. Our goal is to help athletes connect without worrying about unintentionally revealing their whereabouts or being recognized, so they can still like use Grinder just you outside users just can't use the location services to try and figure out which athletes are down to pound, you know.
Yeah, And that's how awesome of Grinder to do that to keep people safe. That's that's that's yeah, you get you get the good Sorts of the Weak award here here here here.
Have you guys had any of those delulu moments?
Though?
Watching the Olympics, We're like, I could do that hard, like on the rigs and what anything specifically.
I feel like all of them look quite easy if I want to ask, Yeah, i'd say the rowing. Every time I watched the rowing, I'm like, they don't even look like they're trying.
I've watched the rowing the other night and I said to my partner, I said, I really think they could go faster, Like it doesn't look like very fast. It all just very leisurely up and down.
I could quite easily be the flag bearer easily. Well, anyone about being an Olympic diver or you know, those days are gone.
What do you think about this? Because I was watching the foursomes in the rowing and I thought like, I'm I'm reasonably fit. I'm not wildly fit, but I feel like I could jump in a boat and row if I had the four I could row if I had to. I'm not saying I would be an Olympic athlete, but if I got into a boat with three Olympic athletes and they just said to me, just row with them, do you think I could do it? Do it?
I reckon?
Probably for the first twenty five meters.
You'd keep up of their strokes.
You think their strokes are too fast because they don't look that fast. That's the point I'm making.
They're pretty fun, but it's about how you're sustaining that stroke for two kilometers or a kilometer. Yeah, you know, it's about how long you can last.
You know. You know you don't think I have like stickability.
I think you've got stickability, Semin.
I feel you like spider me.
I'm a lazy bottom. Yeah give me. The first twenty five been like, oh are we done? Yeah? Yeah, hurry hurry up, just finish already. Jesus squeeze. Ryan has had one of these moments. What does he think he could do the modern pin tatleon? I don't have no idea what that even is. So modern pin tatleon is a mixture of events. There's fencing, swimming, equestrian, show jumping. I can see him being good to these things running like cross country running and then shooting. Wow. But the point being it's like a wealthy sport, tell me about it, but also so random to put all those things together. You do them more than one go? No, I think you do them in stages, but maybe you do do them more than one.
You don't do them all at once.
It's it's you know, day by day you do you're competing them over like a course of four or five days.
I wanted to it was like a triathlon or something where you were just like we you're like did some fencing and then you just like got on the water and swam and then you got out and on the horse.
But the thing about it is I was looking at it and I thought reading about it, I was like, you know what he could actually do this? Well, we know he can swim, we know he can ride a horse. He can definitely run. Because everything is as low level like the swimming is like a couple of like a couple of CA's. Maybe it's like a two k swim. Well Ryan does that in the pool most weekends. Yeah. The fencing you only need to win one round. He's like, I've never fenced, but you know, like if I win the round, great, and if I lose the round, it's not I'm not It's not over and out for me either. Yeah, And then that he says the bit where people always fall short is the show jumping because they're not like they're often like swimmers and runners who then have to learn to ride a horse. And he's like, that's easier said than done, whereas he's a horse rider who could easily probably get fit enough to run and swim.
Oh I tell you what, he's got another four.
Years four years?
So is it Brisbane in four years? Time?
La in four years?
Brisbane? And okay, okay, well hey, look, if he's confident, you know, give it a go. R.
But you know, talking about game.
He's talking a huge game. And I do still think he's delusional. But for a secret split second, I thought the wag life would suit me.
Well, they do say that being an Olympic hopeful is just million attitudes. So maybe you're you're and your Olympic hopeful husband should LA twenty twenty.
Eight, twenty eight. You could have pictured it, couldn't you me on the sidelines.
Absolutely in your own and your celebratory all jobbers, Yes, you could one.
I'd thrive. I would thrive as a wag in that environment. So watch the space, absolutely, watch the space. Oh the Olympics. What are we going to have to go?
Run?
Are a couple of days into it, don't we? Yeah? And I've got to say like we're not We're not doing great.
We've done better, we have done bet them?
Have we got anything? Nothing? Nothing? Not a bronze, not a bronze inside?
Yeah, I think we will be you know, good old KB strong finishers, right Yeah, like a good old top strong.
Last man at the orgy. But no, do do keep getting involved, like keep getting involved because it's such a nice thing to be able to cheer on our athletes. I do just hope we get a medal soon.
Yeah, we've got the rolling, We've got triathlon.
It was postponed that we could you know, either gold or metal or silver and have the black foods. I don't they were in the quarters. So you know, we've got this hope, this hope come.
There is hope, There is still hope. What's the what's the lightness on whether they can swim in that river? Well that's why the triathon was postponed today, Yeah, postponed till Tuesday, because they're the readings of the testing wasn't great. It doesn't look very.
A whole bunch of gay swimers that be and there were no.
Used to.
You said in foul shit, and that's what really foul sleep. I reckon it is.
I'm sorry, you know you're not.
No, you're not. Hey, things are really heading up in the US.
Oh my god, it is wild. So first of all, I'll give you an update. So you know, we'd like to do a little regional report.
Yeah, I'll give you.
An international report of what's kept me on the ground in America. So television channels, wall to wall coverage. It's absolutely course where people on the ground don't.
Care, don't give two shits. Really did not see a mega hat, didn't see any posters or anything. I was almost a bit disappointed. I was on a plane, like a domestic flight, when Joe Biden said yeah, And when I got off the plane, I was sort of expecting this sort of like grand lit phones coming on and like, oh nothing, nothing. One person was talking about it. Do you reckon? That's partly where you were Maybe maybe, but I sort of thought they might be a bit more excited about the fact that they were going to get a better person. I'm it's I'm talking about it all the time. Kamala Harris is all over my tiktop for you page. Have you seen that Beyonce has given her the rights to one of readings. Oh that's a powerful ad with the song behind it too, very very powerful. And I just keep thinking she could do this, like she could win.
How she's got the cinder effect a little bit too.
Yeah, just posed to solfeet I did it, babes. I just keep thinking how amazing if she wins, not only would she be the first woman, should be the first Asian prison like president evasion descents, Yes, and only the second African American president that we've ever had as well. Just be incredible.
I do think that that that ahead.
Yes, did I say yes?
We're all one?
Love? Right?
Sorry? I shouldn't have.
No, No, No, it's fine. Pull me up, pull me out. We've gotta we've got to we've got to stick to a high standard here.
So if you think we're no swimming in the rubber scene.
It's really lucky that we don't have to buy by the Broadcasting Standards Authority. And if we've got a complaint about the standard of this product, imagine, imagine.
We're not going by that. That's good to know after two and a half.
Years, don't We shouldn't have told him that. No, definitely not family. But I do have one bit of political bit of news or gossip got so while I was away, they Donald Trump announced his running mate, this guy called j. D.
Vans not as good as he sounds of a cool name. So obviously as soon as someone kind of gets into position, lots of stories sort of swirl around about them, and this one really got me. So there's a story that's circling that when JD. Vance was in university, he would boast to his friends about fucking a couch what so in his frat house. Apparently he used to like that was one of his party tricks. He'd get drunk and they would fuck the couch.
Like an American pie, like apple pie. Situation. Yeah, but with the cat like in between the couch cushions kind of thing.
Well, this is exactly where my mind went, and I thought, we're not gonna we never yuck any one.
No, no, no. If you want to couch fucking cout, how I tell you? I thought, how do you fuck a couch? Google it? Like? Google it? What was that Internet search? Like? It was pretty good? Would you like me to give you a step by step please?
Okay?
First of all, so everyone listening to taking notes. First of all, located couch with a adjustable cushions. This is very important. You need to make sure you've got a couch that's got adjustable cushions. Step two, prepare the couch by grabbing a towel and lay it in a circle around the gap between the cushions. This will present prevent any body sweat from staining your couch. Step three, grab a zip lock bag and fill it with lotion. Oh my god, so this is optimized, as you say, optimized for moisture, for the creamy consistency. Then place your deck in the bag and morve it around so it's comfortable to thrusting. Step four, find a video that stimulates your mind body connection. I think that means just like roll up a porno. And then what you want to do is you want to place your deck in the hole that you made in step two, so that's step three and it's the ziplock bag. And then you want to wedge that in between the couch. So this position lets you fuck the couch with no hands and no wherey back cleaner.
Was this just a Was this just a written manual?
Was there?
No, there's no, there's no images. This is from a very important website called medium, which looks very fancy. But yeah, that's the that's the five steps on how to fuck a couch?
Do you not always think of it when we do this stuff? The poor person from the iHeartRadio team who has to edit this podcast because we say this stuff and we expect it from each other. The listeners know what they're getting themselves in for because they've been with us for a few years now. There's this poor probably an intern, probably an intern, sitting out there that has to edit our podcast to put it out each week, and they must sit there just listening to the most unhinged shit they've ever heard.
Yeah, that's crazy. I've heard a prison story too, that I could probably share.
It, share it. Go why not go for God?
Go for God?
So look, the intern has already had bathroom store. Loowie's fucking a couch. Tell us the prison story, we might as well have.
I've heard heard in prison that they roll up a towel very tightly. They grab a you know, a rubber glove that you'd use to put on to you know, do you know, wash things again, use maybe some lotion, maybe some conditional shampoo. For let u put that in the rolled up, tight, rolled up towel and go to tower.
I mean it sounds efficient. I mean, I'm kind of into it. They must have to get really creative. There was a video circuling from circulating maybe a month ago of like a UK prisoner having sex with a prison guard. Did that come across yours? She was? She was an only fans person, wasn't she? I think so it would be hard if I was a prison guard, I would be lured in by the bad boys or that.
That means you've got got I mean you're there to care for people many.
Right and whatever. That looks like, Brad, then.
You don't need to go to prison. Babes.
Oh, dear hey, Well fun episode, guys, very very fun. I think that we've we've got so many good kind of gay stories and she bred you had one more though before we go, Oh you should do too. Don't know who's I think who's coming in celebrity sports news.
Chick chick check the group check.
But we may have talked about this the other week, but.
Oh yeah, I talked, I talked to I talked you, I talked.
But tell us again, Well, track stuff from the US comes out Trey Cunningham and he's quite the hot little athlete, just saying.
See, I'm gonna I'm gonna go ride a limb here. I don't think this one's a surprise, Like look at that, like that. This queen has got like a real struttle.
True that she's she's ready to go. We talket. This was this, This happened in one of the episodes where you were shooting your naked attraction.
I was I was over at the track and field event taking photos of potential track athletes coming out.
That's what I was doing.
But thank you for bringing it to our attention again.
Well, I mean we were on that, we were on the bloody Olympic kind of it totally tonight.
So I was like, let's bring it up again.
I see the tangent, I see where you came from. Yeah, absolutely, I like to lens the story. You'd be glad that I've re brought this one up with't you.
Hey?
You thanks for being with us, And as we said, well you can always follow us on Instagram and also join our Gators Facebook page. It's so much that's so much fun. We're loving it and we will see you again next week, babe,