Well, hey everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell, and you have found my podcast. Congratulations. I wish there was a prize, but there isn't. This is onward with me, and what we do here is we just, you know, hang a little bit for about an hour and chat with somebody that I've met or that i've known, or in this case, someone that I didn't know that was up until recently. Here's the story. I was meeting a friend for lunch at Nobu, which is an amazing sushi restaurant, and I looked over at the table across from us, sitting right by the water, and it's this gorgeous young couple. Like to me, they almost look like teenagers, like I thought, maybe twenty two, maybe twenty three, and the wife was very beautiful and they were lovingly kind of looking at each other. And the guy I thought he was a clothes designer because he had real kind of fun like decaled emoji jeans on like I can't explain it, but they looked like he had made them himself or something, or you know that. I just imagined that he was like a young Christian Seriano guy. But it wasn't so I looked at them, and then I was finishing my meal, and then I asked the waitress could I please have the check? And she says, well, there's no check. And I said, what do you mean there's no check? And they said, there was a young man in here and he paid for your meal and he left you this note. So she hands me a note that's written like on white fax paper that you know, plane, and it's kind of wrinkled, and it's in pens, and he writes, thank you for being you and for setting an example of what it means to be yourself in the face of adversity and negativity. Because of your strength and bravery, a little boy found the light in a childhood riddled with darkness, violence, drug abuse, and depression. And now I'm one of the biggest rappers in the world. Thank you with love and unconditional reverence Logic. And then he puts in parentheses Bobby Hall and have a wonderful day. He wrote in a little smiley face. Well, I was very very moved by this and very touched by this. And I also had never heard of Logic. I didn't know who he was. I thought, how could there be a most famous rapper in the world that I don't even know is name. I mean, shortly, I'm not that out of the loop, or so I thought. I call up my kids. I called Blakey and Viv and Parker and said to them, Hey, you guys, do you ever heard of the guy named Logic? And right away my son Blake is like, yeah, I know, And why what'd you do? Mom? What'd you do? Because they're always worried that I'm going to say something stupid in front of them at a restaurant, And I said, I didn't do anything but listen to this and I read the letter and they were like, oh, man, I can't believe that. I got to call my friend. He hangs up and calls his friends, and you know, it's just it was very, very loving to get a note like that. I can't tell you. It's sixty one years old to have looked at this young couple and thought, you know, wonderful things about them, and then this beautiful note lands in my lap on a Monday afternoon and I came home and I did a deep dive and I'm like, oh my god, I know who this guy is. He did that song about suicide where he put up the number of the National Suicide Hotline, and he saved like millions of people's lives. I mean, he is so successful, he is so talented, and he is so prolific. He has won awards, he has worked with everyone, and he is considered one of the most famous rappers in the world. I'm so happy that our lives intersected. I'm so happy that after that wonderful gesture of paying for my lunch, that I knew someone who knew someone who knew him, and we got together and we started texting and talking and he said, I'd love to do your podcast, and he did. And it's just so exciting to learn about a new person who is a wonderful human being and so immensely talented. His lyrics are wonderful and honest, and you know, talk about mental health and the importance of taking care of yourself and it's really survivor's story. And he's here, and I love the guy. Not only that he invited me and all my children and there is a lot of them to come see him perform. What his concert starts, he's going on tour because he has a new record. He hasn't had one out for three years. So this is the new one and we're gonna be talking a little bit about that and just about life in general. So hey, here he is Bobby Hall, also known as Logic. Well, there he is, Bobby. How are you.

Well, hey everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell, and you have found my podcast. Congratulations. I wish there was a prize, but there isn't. This is onward with me, and what we do here is we just, you know, hang a little bit for about an hour and chat with somebody that I've met or that i've known, or in this case, someone that I didn't know that was up until recently. Here's the story. I was meeting a friend for lunch at Nobu, which is an amazing sushi restaurant, and I looked over at the table across from us, sitting right by the water, and it's this gorgeous young couple. Like to me, they almost look like teenagers, like I thought, maybe twenty two, maybe twenty three, and the wife was very beautiful and they were lovingly kind of looking at each other. And the guy I thought he was a clothes designer because he had real kind of fun like decaled emoji jeans on like I can't explain it, but they looked like he had made them himself or something, or you know that. I just imagined that he was like a young Christian Seriano guy. But it wasn't so I looked at them, and then I was finishing my meal, and then I asked the waitress could I please have the check? And she says, well, there's no check. And I said, what do you mean there's no check? And they said, there was a young man in here and he paid for your meal and he left you this note. So she hands me a note that's written like on white fax paper that you know, plane, and it's kind of wrinkled, and it's in pens, and he writes, thank you for being you and for setting an example of what it means to be yourself in the face of adversity and negativity. Because of your strength and bravery, a little boy found the light in a childhood riddled with darkness, violence, drug abuse, and depression. And now I'm one of the biggest rappers in the world. Thank you with love and unconditional reverence Logic. And then he puts in parentheses Bobby Hall and have a wonderful day. He wrote in a little smiley face. Well, I was very very moved by this and very touched by this. And I also had never heard of Logic. I didn't know who he was. I thought, how could there be a most famous rapper in the world that I don't even know is name. I mean, shortly, I'm not that out of the loop, or so I thought. I call up my kids. I called Blakey and Viv and Parker and said to them, Hey, you guys, do you ever heard of the guy named Logic? And right away my son Blake is like, yeah, I know, And why what'd you do? Mom? What'd you do? Because they're always worried that I'm going to say something stupid in front of them at a restaurant, And I said, I didn't do anything but listen to this and I read the letter and they were like, oh, man, I can't believe that. I got to call my friend. He hangs up and calls his friends, and you know, it's just it was very, very loving to get a note like that. I can't tell you. It's sixty one years old to have looked at this young couple and thought, you know, wonderful things about them, and then this beautiful note lands in my lap on a Monday afternoon and I came home and I did a deep dive and I'm like, oh my god, I know who this guy is. He did that song about suicide where he put up the number of the National Suicide Hotline, and he saved like millions of people's lives. I mean, he is so successful, he is so talented, and he is so prolific. He has won awards, he has worked with everyone, and he is considered one of the most famous rappers in the world. I'm so happy that our lives intersected. I'm so happy that after that wonderful gesture of paying for my lunch, that I knew someone who knew someone who knew him, and we got together and we started texting and talking and he said, I'd love to do your podcast, and he did. And it's just so exciting to learn about a new person who is a wonderful human being and so immensely talented. His lyrics are wonderful and honest, and you know, talk about mental health and the importance of taking care of yourself and it's really survivor's story. And he's here, and I love the guy. Not only that he invited me and all my children and there is a lot of them to come see him perform. What his concert starts, he's going on tour because he has a new record. He hasn't had one out for three years. So this is the new one and we're gonna be talking a little bit about that and just about life in general. So hey, here he is Bobby Hall, also known as Logic. Well, there he is, Bobby. How are you.

I'm great? How are you?

I'm great? How are you?

I am so happy that I got to do a deep dive into you and that I have found out how remarkable you are. You're a remarkable young man. You're thirty three years old. You have so much success, yes, and you had such a hard childhood. It is very very inspiring to see what you have made out of what was your childhood into your life and I'm completely inspired by you.

I am so happy that I got to do a deep dive into you and that I have found out how remarkable you are. You're a remarkable young man. You're thirty three years old. You have so much success, yes, and you had such a hard childhood. It is very very inspiring to see what you have made out of what was your childhood into your life and I'm completely inspired by you.

Wow, that's like the most epic intro of all time. Thank you very much.

Wow, that's like the most epic intro of all time. Thank you very much.

Well, it's the truth between listening to your audio book, which I started reading it, and then I was listening to an interview that you had done where the interviewer was saying I started reading it and I could only hear it in my voice, and then I heard you doing all these voices and it really changed the story. As soon as I read that or heard that, I went and got the audio book too.

Well, it's the truth between listening to your audio book, which I started reading it, and then I was listening to an interview that you had done where the interviewer was saying I started reading it and I could only hear it in my voice, and then I heard you doing all these voices and it really changed the story. As soon as I read that or heard that, I went and got the audio book too.

Wow.

Wow.

To hear your ability to mimic is really pretty extraordinary and to bring to life these characters that you were trying to show the world, it's pretty extraordinary. It really is.

To hear your ability to mimic is really pretty extraordinary and to bring to life these characters that you were trying to show the world, it's pretty extraordinary. It really is.

Thank you. It was you know, writing the book was it was difficult because it's like I had to be very honest, you know, and there was even some people in my family who were like, how could you say that? And then my response was always how could you do that to a child? Yes, you know, so when writing it was never from a place of like negativity. It was always just complete honesty. But I think I think taking that negative aspect of my childhood while also being able to read the audiobook because with my first novel that I wrote, called Supermarket, I also did the audiobook, and that was a little different, you know, because they typically say when you read the audio book, you want to do it very slowly, right, But when I did mine for the memoir, I wanted it to be like and then my mom was like, yeah, was cracking the house and the police are running and done it. And so I wanted you to feel like I'm telling you a story, like you're a friend on my couch.

Thank you. It was you know, writing the book was it was difficult because it's like I had to be very honest, you know, and there was even some people in my family who were like, how could you say that? And then my response was always how could you do that to a child? Yes, you know, so when writing it was never from a place of like negativity. It was always just complete honesty. But I think I think taking that negative aspect of my childhood while also being able to read the audiobook because with my first novel that I wrote, called Supermarket, I also did the audiobook, and that was a little different, you know, because they typically say when you read the audio book, you want to do it very slowly, right, But when I did mine for the memoir, I wanted it to be like and then my mom was like, yeah, was cracking the house and the police are running and done it. And so I wanted you to feel like I'm telling you a story, like you're a friend on my couch.

And that's why it's so brilliant to listen to it, because you're in the panic. You're in the anxiety. You can feel your anxiety and your memory and in your portrayal of it, with your fluency in the English language and your ability to take the precise moment and hold that one up for people to look at. It's you know, I have questions. I have questions, Bobby.

And that's why it's so brilliant to listen to it, because you're in the panic. You're in the anxiety. You can feel your anxiety and your memory and in your portrayal of it, with your fluency in the English language and your ability to take the precise moment and hold that one up for people to look at. It's you know, I have questions. I have questions, Bobby.

First of all, I got time.

First of all, I got time.

Are your parents alive now?

Are your parents alive now?

Yeah? So my mother, they're both alive. Yes, my mother I haven't spoken to in I think about thirteen years now. And the last time we spoke it was my twenty first birthday and she, I guess twelve years and she said my sister called me crying and was like, Mommy says, you're the reason you don't talk to her in X y Z And I was like what. And I hadn't already seen my mother in a few years. And I called her and I said, the reason that I don't speak to you isn't because of anybody else but yourself. And I was like, I love you and I want a relationship with you, but everything is like your way or the highway, and like nobody can even have a conversation with you or an opinion right, and if you don't agree with someone. You yell, you scream, you call them names, you curse at them, you damn them to hell. And I was just like, that's why we don't have a relationship, and she said, understood, hung up on me, and I haven't talked to her since. So that's her. And then my father, who at the time of writing the memoir, I had put him out of my life for a couple of years because of boundaries, sure, you know, And every time I would draw a line, he would always cross it. And it wasn't even crazy. It was just like, like one of the last times I spoke to my dad before recently reuniting with him, which I'm excited to talk to you about. Actually, he asked me for a million dollars. Yeah, okay, I'm like exactly, Like, he literally asked me for a million dollars. So my father is super long story short, both my parents for those out there who may not know, you know, drug addicts, alcoholics, meant a little my mother, yeah, mental illness, bipolar, you know, sexual abuse, so many things that they had both gone through. And now that I'm older, I realized they're just hurt and broken people trying to find their way in the world that accidentally had like a million kids, you know. So but with my father, he asked me. You know, he's a musician, African percussions. You know, he's a black man and loves music. Was always great at music. But unfortunately, just because of his addiction to crack cocaine and alcohol and such, you know, nothing really came of it. So he says, I need a million dollars. I say for what, right, and he goes, oh, so me and my band can get a studio house, and also I need you to pay my bills, and also I need and then I was just like, dude, like every time, all the time, there was always something. So I put him out of my life. And then until recently. I hope I'm not talking too much.

Yeah? So my mother, they're both alive. Yes, my mother I haven't spoken to in I think about thirteen years now. And the last time we spoke it was my twenty first birthday and she, I guess twelve years and she said my sister called me crying and was like, Mommy says, you're the reason you don't talk to her in X y Z And I was like what. And I hadn't already seen my mother in a few years. And I called her and I said, the reason that I don't speak to you isn't because of anybody else but yourself. And I was like, I love you and I want a relationship with you, but everything is like your way or the highway, and like nobody can even have a conversation with you or an opinion right, and if you don't agree with someone. You yell, you scream, you call them names, you curse at them, you damn them to hell. And I was just like, that's why we don't have a relationship, and she said, understood, hung up on me, and I haven't talked to her since. So that's her. And then my father, who at the time of writing the memoir, I had put him out of my life for a couple of years because of boundaries, sure, you know, And every time I would draw a line, he would always cross it. And it wasn't even crazy. It was just like, like one of the last times I spoke to my dad before recently reuniting with him, which I'm excited to talk to you about. Actually, he asked me for a million dollars. Yeah, okay, I'm like exactly, Like, he literally asked me for a million dollars. So my father is super long story short, both my parents for those out there who may not know, you know, drug addicts, alcoholics, meant a little my mother, yeah, mental illness, bipolar, you know, sexual abuse, so many things that they had both gone through. And now that I'm older, I realized they're just hurt and broken people trying to find their way in the world that accidentally had like a million kids, you know. So but with my father, he asked me. You know, he's a musician, African percussions. You know, he's a black man and loves music. Was always great at music. But unfortunately, just because of his addiction to crack cocaine and alcohol and such, you know, nothing really came of it. So he says, I need a million dollars. I say for what, right, and he goes, oh, so me and my band can get a studio house, and also I need you to pay my bills, and also I need and then I was just like, dude, like every time, all the time, there was always something. So I put him out of my life. And then until recently. I hope I'm not talking too much.

No, I want to hear all of it. I have so many questions. As you're talking, guy, I don't want to interrupt, but go and then I have got questions.

No, I want to hear all of it. I have so many questions. As you're talking, guy, I don't want to interrupt, but go and then I have got questions.

Okay, all right, great, So as I now have a child, which I'm sure we'll get.

Okay, all right, great, So as I now have a child, which I'm sure we'll get.

So he's beautiful. He is so beautiful. His eyes are gonna just slay the world.

So he's beautiful. He is so beautiful. His eyes are gonna just slay the world.

Slay girl. Yeah. No, I'm excited, like he's everything that I couldn't have from my own childhood.

Slay girl. Yeah. No, I'm excited, like he's everything that I couldn't have from my own childhood.

Right.

Right.

I was looking at him a couple months ago, and it was I was saddened by the fact that, you know, my father is alive and he's out there and he hasn't met his little boy. And I've done that really to protect myself, you know, emotionally. And there's like a version of me at like fifty years old that I would hope is much wiser than I am now, right. And I had this vision of me at fifty and my dad is long dead, and I wished that I could have tried one more time, even though every time he breaks the birth with which is one more time? Yeah? And I asked my little boy, I say, you want to meet your granddad? And he goes, yeah, yeah, And I said okay, And I thought about it, and I called my dad and I said listen, all right, I said, listen to me. I love you, but I need you to respect me. Don't talk to me about money, don't talk to me about music. You need to meet your grandson. Blah blah blah. Long story short, fly him out first class from the hood. Yeah, lands he meets his grandson. It's incredible. His grandson goes to sleep. Bro, this is like a month ago, wow, when it was sep. And then first thing out of my dad's mouth, I need you to buy me.

I was looking at him a couple months ago, and it was I was saddened by the fact that, you know, my father is alive and he's out there and he hasn't met his little boy. And I've done that really to protect myself, you know, emotionally. And there's like a version of me at like fifty years old that I would hope is much wiser than I am now, right. And I had this vision of me at fifty and my dad is long dead, and I wished that I could have tried one more time, even though every time he breaks the birth with which is one more time? Yeah? And I asked my little boy, I say, you want to meet your granddad? And he goes, yeah, yeah, And I said okay, And I thought about it, and I called my dad and I said listen, all right, I said, listen to me. I love you, but I need you to respect me. Don't talk to me about money, don't talk to me about music. You need to meet your grandson. Blah blah blah. Long story short, fly him out first class from the hood. Yeah, lands he meets his grandson. It's incredible. His grandson goes to sleep. Bro, this is like a month ago, wow, when it was sep. And then first thing out of my dad's mouth, I need you to buy me.

A truck, baby, oh baby.

A truck, baby, oh baby.

And I say, instead of doing what I've always done, which is like I'm you know, I get out of here. I said why? I said, why are you asking me for a truck? Why are you asking me for money? Why are you asking me to bring you on tour with me so you can play Conga's in the background. Why?

And I say, instead of doing what I've always done, which is like I'm you know, I get out of here. I said why? I said, why are you asking me for a truck? Why are you asking me for money? Why are you asking me to bring you on tour with me so you can play Conga's in the background. Why?

Yeah?

Yeah?

And he gave me the greatest answer I'd ever gotten in my entire life. He said, I don't know number one and then and I'll wrap this up. He went on to express that because super long story short, my black father did one of two things after having me. Now just look at me. The first one was a praternity does.

And he gave me the greatest answer I'd ever gotten in my entire life. He said, I don't know number one and then and I'll wrap this up. He went on to express that because super long story short, my black father did one of two things after having me. Now just look at me. The first one was a praternity does.

Right, that's not my kid?

Right, that's not my kid?

Yeah, And then the second one was he gotta easectomy. Okay. Now, almost thirty years later, he somehow knocked up a young woman from the program. She was like twenty three years old. They had a baby, which is crazy, and he looks like me, he's my little brother. And then she dies a year later of a heroin overdose. Okay. So here's this man sixty nine years old with a baby, and he's remarried. Now he is a wife. He's actually really sweet, she loves the baby. And he goes, I think, I just I just really need to leave something for your little brother. And that's when it went off like a light bulb in my head. All my father has ever talked to me about his money, and all he's ever talked to me about his music. So you know what I'm gonna do. I am going to give him everything he wants. And I said, Dad, I'm gonna buy you a brand new truck, and Dad, I'm gonna make sure I put some money in your pocket. And what we're gonna do is we are going to record an album together about family and the ups and downs of it. And then I am going to give you publishing, educates you in investment, black ownership, and what to do with this money. And fifty percent of every dollar is going to go into a trust that nor I, you, nobody can touch until that little boy is of age, and then the rest will go in your pocket to help raise him. How's that sound And he goes, sign.

Yeah, And then the second one was he gotta easectomy. Okay. Now, almost thirty years later, he somehow knocked up a young woman from the program. She was like twenty three years old. They had a baby, which is crazy, and he looks like me, he's my little brother. And then she dies a year later of a heroin overdose. Okay. So here's this man sixty nine years old with a baby, and he's remarried. Now he is a wife. He's actually really sweet, she loves the baby. And he goes, I think, I just I just really need to leave something for your little brother. And that's when it went off like a light bulb in my head. All my father has ever talked to me about his money, and all he's ever talked to me about his music. So you know what I'm gonna do. I am going to give him everything he wants. And I said, Dad, I'm gonna buy you a brand new truck, and Dad, I'm gonna make sure I put some money in your pocket. And what we're gonna do is we are going to record an album together about family and the ups and downs of it. And then I am going to give you publishing, educates you in investment, black ownership, and what to do with this money. And fifty percent of every dollar is going to go into a trust that nor I, you, nobody can touch until that little boy is of age, and then the rest will go in your pocket to help raise him. How's that sound And he goes, sign.

Me up, motherfucker, let's go let's really We'll be back with more logic after this. Now is he sober?

Me up, motherfucker, let's go let's really We'll be back with more logic after this. Now is he sober?

Now?

Now?

Is he working a program? Is he trying to stay clean?

Is he working a program? Is he trying to stay clean?

Yeah? He is. He's sober, so his biggest thing. It's funny because he came over like, I enjoy scotch and I learned a lot, you know, from my parents and even growing up in alcoholics. And I have an AA shirt from the nineties that I wear when I drink scotch. And somebody could be like, what.

Yeah? He is. He's sober, so his biggest thing. It's funny because he came over like, I enjoy scotch and I learned a lot, you know, from my parents and even growing up in alcoholics. And I have an AA shirt from the nineties that I wear when I drink scotch. And somebody could be like, what.

Yeah, what do you do as mister duplicity?

Yeah, what do you do as mister duplicity?

Yeah, it's because I learned from that as a child how to have a healthy relationship with substance. I mean, nothing hard, you know, but just my thing is weed and a little bit of scotch sometimes. And so my dad he's like, he's like, let's have a beer. And I was like, Dad, you're a recovering alcoholic. Then he goes, no, no, no, I'm a recovering crack at it, and I thought it was hilarious and we laughed, and yeah, so he's he's definitely in a great place. He really, he really as good as you can get at sixty nine For Crag.

Yeah, it's because I learned from that as a child how to have a healthy relationship with substance. I mean, nothing hard, you know, but just my thing is weed and a little bit of scotch sometimes. And so my dad he's like, he's like, let's have a beer. And I was like, Dad, you're a recovering alcoholic. Then he goes, no, no, no, I'm a recovering crack at it, and I thought it was hilarious and we laughed, and yeah, so he's he's definitely in a great place. He really, he really as good as you can get at sixty nine For Crag.

Now, it sounds as though you have tremendous forgiveness for both your parents. And I know that people might not be familiar, but your mother tried to kill you twice and you you went without food, you ate donuts. She almost choked you to death. Your dad was doing drugs all the time, having a lot of other children. You had a life of pure chaos and hell. And yet you still have found a way to come to some sort of forgiveness, or you wouldn't be able to do what you're doing with your dad. You know, I went no contact with my dad really since my children were born. Wow, so I I and then he died exactly what you're saying about your dad. You worried that you would get to be sixty or fifty and he would die and you would not have had that last chance. And some people ask me, do you wish that you had been in contact with him? And you know, I don't. I never wanted sort of my kids to know him, even though my kids did ask me, mommy, why don't we ever see your daddy? If I know your mommy died, but why don't we see your daddy? And I could? You know, started with it wouldn't be safe for you. I wanted to be safe for you, and so that Mommy's decided that this is a better way to be. And as they're older now, they have questions, they want to know the details. You know. I was kind of horrified at the one part where your mother would scare you as an eight year old with telling you that you could get raped or penetrate, like telling you things that a child would never even understand in such explicit detail. Again in the midst of a serious bipolar condition.

Now, it sounds as though you have tremendous forgiveness for both your parents. And I know that people might not be familiar, but your mother tried to kill you twice and you you went without food, you ate donuts. She almost choked you to death. Your dad was doing drugs all the time, having a lot of other children. You had a life of pure chaos and hell. And yet you still have found a way to come to some sort of forgiveness, or you wouldn't be able to do what you're doing with your dad. You know, I went no contact with my dad really since my children were born. Wow, so I I and then he died exactly what you're saying about your dad. You worried that you would get to be sixty or fifty and he would die and you would not have had that last chance. And some people ask me, do you wish that you had been in contact with him? And you know, I don't. I never wanted sort of my kids to know him, even though my kids did ask me, mommy, why don't we ever see your daddy? If I know your mommy died, but why don't we see your daddy? And I could? You know, started with it wouldn't be safe for you. I wanted to be safe for you, and so that Mommy's decided that this is a better way to be. And as they're older now, they have questions, they want to know the details. You know. I was kind of horrified at the one part where your mother would scare you as an eight year old with telling you that you could get raped or penetrate, like telling you things that a child would never even understand in such explicit detail. Again in the midst of a serious bipolar condition.

Yeah, wow, you really did your homework. Thank you.

Yeah, wow, you really did your homework. Thank you.

Well, honey, I'm so I'm so impressed with you, I can't even and I feel so horrible that I didn't know who you were till we met bumped into each other without saying hello at NOBU, and you brought me lunch, which was so unbelievable. I don't think you'll know how touching that was to me. And when I was looking at you, I thought maybe he's a designer, because your clothes were kind of cute and you had like anime big jeans and your wife's beautiful. I thought, look at these, I thought you were kids. But to me, you are kids, because you know, my boy's about to be twenty eight, my oldest, and I have five kids, and I just thought to myself, he must be some new young designer, like I don't know. I just I didn't think rap. And when I read your note and you talked about I call my kids and they all went through the roof, you know, like, are you kidding me? Give me that letter? You're not keeping it. I'm like, get away, I'm keeping that.

Well, honey, I'm so I'm so impressed with you, I can't even and I feel so horrible that I didn't know who you were till we met bumped into each other without saying hello at NOBU, and you brought me lunch, which was so unbelievable. I don't think you'll know how touching that was to me. And when I was looking at you, I thought maybe he's a designer, because your clothes were kind of cute and you had like anime big jeans and your wife's beautiful. I thought, look at these, I thought you were kids. But to me, you are kids, because you know, my boy's about to be twenty eight, my oldest, and I have five kids, and I just thought to myself, he must be some new young designer, like I don't know. I just I didn't think rap. And when I read your note and you talked about I call my kids and they all went through the roof, you know, like, are you kidding me? Give me that letter? You're not keeping it. I'm like, get away, I'm keeping that.

That's so cool.

That's so cool.

But I felt bad. How did I miss you? How did I miss this career where you've accomplished so much, so many records. I watched this. I don't know why I missed the VMAs when you were doing your one eight hundred song. But the story that you tell about the producer friend who called and said this is what we're doing and pushed you into it. Then I watched it and I was choked up. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing to do, to write and then to perform for an audience that is often glib at those award shows, you moved everyone to tears. They all stood up. You saved hundreds and thousands of lives doing this song, and when you wrote it, you were wanting to save yourself. Really did you think of other people, was it just so personal?

But I felt bad. How did I miss you? How did I miss this career where you've accomplished so much, so many records. I watched this. I don't know why I missed the VMAs when you were doing your one eight hundred song. But the story that you tell about the producer friend who called and said this is what we're doing and pushed you into it. Then I watched it and I was choked up. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing to do, to write and then to perform for an audience that is often glib at those award shows, you moved everyone to tears. They all stood up. You saved hundreds and thousands of lives doing this song, and when you wrote it, you were wanting to save yourself. Really did you think of other people, was it just so personal?

I think it was definitely a mixture of the personal and for others, you know, it's like I definitely had days. We've all had those days, you know, and you have thoughts. And I think that at the deepest and most darkest depths of any depression or state of depression that I had faced, my thoughts on this specific issue of taking one's life were more severe, intrusive thoughts that I would dwell on, rather than thoughts that I was like, Okay, this is something now.

I think it was definitely a mixture of the personal and for others, you know, it's like I definitely had days. We've all had those days, you know, and you have thoughts. And I think that at the deepest and most darkest depths of any depression or state of depression that I had faced, my thoughts on this specific issue of taking one's life were more severe, intrusive thoughts that I would dwell on, rather than thoughts that I was like, Okay, this is something now.

You weren't making plans. You weren't making plans, had these constant thoughts that very troubling. I've had intrusive thoughts for many, many years, and it's it's tough to tame them.

You weren't making plans. You weren't making plans, had these constant thoughts that very troubling. I've had intrusive thoughts for many, many years, and it's it's tough to tame them.

You know, Well, what's crazy, It's wild that you say that, because you know, in therapy, what I learned is it's almost like, hey, don't think about a pink balloon, you know, and then it's like, well, now I'm thinking about it. And then the more you think about it, you actually train your brain. So it's like if you're standing in line and you see a cashier or some guy and you're just paying for tik TACs and for whatever reason you think about like punching his nosebone through his head for whatever weird right, right, Like what the hell where did that come from? That initial reaction is actually what makes you human, and that is your consciousness there going that what is that? Number one? Number two? If you do freak out about it, you're then training your brain that every time you have a thought like that, you just go balls to the wall freak out. And then by doing that, you're actually bringing more of those thoughts on because you then focus on it so much. Yeah, when I learned that, it's a fleeting thing where it's like, I don't know, I could see my son falling downstairs and like imagine his beautiful little body, but he's all mangled up and dead. And I know it's crazy to say, but it's like, that's an intrusive thought, Yes it is. What I learned is that these intrusive thoughts also mainly play part in what you care about most. Yes, so that if you think some wild stuff, can we curse? Can I not?

You know, Well, what's crazy, It's wild that you say that, because you know, in therapy, what I learned is it's almost like, hey, don't think about a pink balloon, you know, and then it's like, well, now I'm thinking about it. And then the more you think about it, you actually train your brain. So it's like if you're standing in line and you see a cashier or some guy and you're just paying for tik TACs and for whatever reason you think about like punching his nosebone through his head for whatever weird right, right, Like what the hell where did that come from? That initial reaction is actually what makes you human, and that is your consciousness there going that what is that? Number one? Number two? If you do freak out about it, you're then training your brain that every time you have a thought like that, you just go balls to the wall freak out. And then by doing that, you're actually bringing more of those thoughts on because you then focus on it so much. Yeah, when I learned that, it's a fleeting thing where it's like, I don't know, I could see my son falling downstairs and like imagine his beautiful little body, but he's all mangled up and dead. And I know it's crazy to say, but it's like, that's an intrusive thought, Yes it is. What I learned is that these intrusive thoughts also mainly play part in what you care about most. Yes, so that if you think some wild stuff, can we curse? Can I not?

Go ahead? Whatever? The fuck?

Go ahead? Whatever? The fuck?

You?

You?

Right?

Right?

Fuck? Yeah that's kind of but yeah, if you think of some wild shit in your head, ye like to understand that, like, it's actually probably something you care about the most because, for example, like I love people you know who do service work and help others because I've been that, and I know what it's like to wait tables and bust tables and be treated like shit by people. Totally, Yes, have an ego complict. So then if I think about punching a cashier in the face, I'm like, I've been that cashier, and I just want this person to like have the best life ever. So I know that sounds really crazy, but through therapy, I really learned that, you know, the world is crazy, but thoughts we can build a positive relationship with it, for sure.

Fuck? Yeah that's kind of but yeah, if you think of some wild shit in your head, ye like to understand that, like, it's actually probably something you care about the most because, for example, like I love people you know who do service work and help others because I've been that, and I know what it's like to wait tables and bust tables and be treated like shit by people. Totally, Yes, have an ego complict. So then if I think about punching a cashier in the face, I'm like, I've been that cashier, and I just want this person to like have the best life ever. So I know that sounds really crazy, but through therapy, I really learned that, you know, the world is crazy, but thoughts we can build a positive relationship with it, for sure.

Correct, you can build a positive relationship with your thoughts and what you think you become. I know that I've read that you said you were sort of surprised when you were at the VMA's and all these people were talking to you and you were listing all the you know, luminaries around you, and I thought, did you dream of that? Or was your childhood so horrific that you didn't have time to dream about the future.

Correct, you can build a positive relationship with your thoughts and what you think you become. I know that I've read that you said you were sort of surprised when you were at the VMA's and all these people were talking to you and you were listing all the you know, luminaries around you, and I thought, did you dream of that? Or was your childhood so horrific that you didn't have time to dream about the future.

Yeah, no, I could have never imagined that. Yeah, I didn't have time. You know, it was all. It was like fleeting. It was things that could not ever happen, never in a million years for somebody like me. I'm just a poor kid that nobody cares about, you know what I mean? And then over time you start to understand your own self worth. A lot of people ask me, how did you make it out of your situation? I say, you know, I'm not a religious guy, but I believe. I don't think God's a white guy on a cloud with a beard, but right I definitely say God in common sense, I do believe in something greater than myself. And and I don't know a lot of people they're so worried, they're so like, you know, they want to know, like how did you make it out? Like it doesn't make any sense, It doesn't make any sense. But it's the same, you know kind of way people feel the need to know what's in the afterlife, like we have to or whatever. And I'm just kind of like, hey man, I'm just going to do the best that I can to live with what I have. And it's the same thing about my mother. I could say, how could my mother birth for biracial children from all different black men, and yet she was inherently systemically racist.

Yeah, no, I could have never imagined that. Yeah, I didn't have time. You know, it was all. It was like fleeting. It was things that could not ever happen, never in a million years for somebody like me. I'm just a poor kid that nobody cares about, you know what I mean? And then over time you start to understand your own self worth. A lot of people ask me, how did you make it out of your situation? I say, you know, I'm not a religious guy, but I believe. I don't think God's a white guy on a cloud with a beard, but right I definitely say God in common sense, I do believe in something greater than myself. And and I don't know a lot of people they're so worried, they're so like, you know, they want to know, like how did you make it out? Like it doesn't make any sense, It doesn't make any sense. But it's the same, you know kind of way people feel the need to know what's in the afterlife, like we have to or whatever. And I'm just kind of like, hey man, I'm just going to do the best that I can to live with what I have. And it's the same thing about my mother. I could say, how could my mother birth for biracial children from all different black men, and yet she was inherently systemically racist.

Yeah, it didn't make sense to me. It didn't make sense.

Yeah, it didn't make sense to me. It didn't make sense.

To me exactly. But when you go down this orchard, you know, road of the fact that she was with a family, and that family was extremely racist, but she always found black people and people of color so beautiful. That's that like systemic inside of her. And then it depends like what day when you see her. I mean, one day she's listening a Run DMC walk this way, the next listening to Nirvana's Rape Me, Like it's the crazy. It's like it was a really wild household. So instead of trying to undergo like I need to know what's going on. I need to figure it out. It's almost like a person who's like wearing a tinfoil hat. They're like the government's watching, and all right, all right, let them watch me, let him watch my dad buy it. I don't give who care. That's kind of more my mentality is instead of trying to focus on the past and why and how come, which is okay to do in therapy and things like that, but instead of making that your everyday obsession all the time, sometimes you got to throw your hands up, go it is what it is. But what can I do today to better myself and make other people smile? And that's my mentality.

To me exactly. But when you go down this orchard, you know, road of the fact that she was with a family, and that family was extremely racist, but she always found black people and people of color so beautiful. That's that like systemic inside of her. And then it depends like what day when you see her. I mean, one day she's listening a Run DMC walk this way, the next listening to Nirvana's Rape Me, Like it's the crazy. It's like it was a really wild household. So instead of trying to undergo like I need to know what's going on. I need to figure it out. It's almost like a person who's like wearing a tinfoil hat. They're like the government's watching, and all right, all right, let them watch me, let him watch my dad buy it. I don't give who care. That's kind of more my mentality is instead of trying to focus on the past and why and how come, which is okay to do in therapy and things like that, but instead of making that your everyday obsession all the time, sometimes you got to throw your hands up, go it is what it is. But what can I do today to better myself and make other people smile? And that's my mentality.

That's exactly the name of the podcast. What is what Happened? How already happened? Onward? I read so much about you, and I had so much compassion for the child that you were. How is it that DCF did not come in and rescue you. I know that you said you were coached by your parents, but it still seems as though it was very obvious that you were in trouble.

That's exactly the name of the podcast. What is what Happened? How already happened? Onward? I read so much about you, and I had so much compassion for the child that you were. How is it that DCF did not come in and rescue you. I know that you said you were coached by your parents, but it still seems as though it was very obvious that you were in trouble.

You know, I think I'm owed in Oscar.

You know, I think I'm owed in Oscar.

Yes, I do think you my faith.

Yes, I do think you my faith.

It's literally, yeah, they came in multiple times. I think the system is so broken. I mean, that's a real thing. It's like it is a broken system where there are some situations where like yeah, I had been sexually abused and things like that, But it wasn't. It wasn't in that kind of crazy way you hear on the news and then the government comes and saves the kids and all this. It wasn't like so obvious. It was this like under I don't know how to explain it. It's like they walk into my house, and it's depending on when they would walk into my house. There had to be blood all over the place, and drugs and this and that and X y Z, and they just never came during those times, or when my mother was locked up in an insane asylum, and you know, it's me and my teenage sisters and I'm just the six year old litle boy. Like it was never then. It was always when my mom was kind of like going to church or like getting your shit back together right things then and then they would come or whatever. And so but I know this sounds crazy, even though I should have been taken out of that home, yeah, in place in a much better home where, mind you, my mother would always say they'll rape, they'll rape, Yes, that's what she's saying. But I'm glad that it turned out the way that it did, you know, because I don't know. I just I I am like the happiest guy in the world. I have a little boy, I have another one on the way, I have a beautiful wife. I've had my ups and downs in life, and I will continue to have those. Yes, But I think there is just some weird puzzle Rubik's cube situation that if my childhood didn't happen the way that it did, I wouldn't be able to not only appreciate what I have now, but have the knowledge thus far to pass along through my music for others. So I don't. I don't doubt it for a day. I'm happy to be here.

It's literally, yeah, they came in multiple times. I think the system is so broken. I mean, that's a real thing. It's like it is a broken system where there are some situations where like yeah, I had been sexually abused and things like that, But it wasn't. It wasn't in that kind of crazy way you hear on the news and then the government comes and saves the kids and all this. It wasn't like so obvious. It was this like under I don't know how to explain it. It's like they walk into my house, and it's depending on when they would walk into my house. There had to be blood all over the place, and drugs and this and that and X y Z, and they just never came during those times, or when my mother was locked up in an insane asylum, and you know, it's me and my teenage sisters and I'm just the six year old litle boy. Like it was never then. It was always when my mom was kind of like going to church or like getting your shit back together right things then and then they would come or whatever. And so but I know this sounds crazy, even though I should have been taken out of that home, yeah, in place in a much better home where, mind you, my mother would always say they'll rape, they'll rape, Yes, that's what she's saying. But I'm glad that it turned out the way that it did, you know, because I don't know. I just I I am like the happiest guy in the world. I have a little boy, I have another one on the way, I have a beautiful wife. I've had my ups and downs in life, and I will continue to have those. Yes, But I think there is just some weird puzzle Rubik's cube situation that if my childhood didn't happen the way that it did, I wouldn't be able to not only appreciate what I have now, but have the knowledge thus far to pass along through my music for others. So I don't. I don't doubt it for a day. I'm happy to be here.

Yeah, it's so beautiful that you do it for others. It's so beautiful that you talk about situations that our culture is not always ready to hear, like that. There are children who are in horrific situations like yours, and yet sometimes there's nowhere for them to go. Sometimes, you know, there's not a foster home all, you know, scrubbed and perfect, waiting for you to love it. I wish it would happen that way. It doesn't happen that way. The statistic show that it doesn't happen that way. You know. I wondered because again, the things that are similar about us. I was really hooked into and reading all about you what it was like for you and I. You know, I rarely talk to people who have lived this because it's kind of rare to go from being like a poorer kid to going to be very rich, Like it was almost like I landed on a new planet, you know, and I was like, oh wow, and inside of me, I still feel like the kid that had to go to Corvette's or John's bargain basement to get the discount loose leaves for school. You know, like I still feel that, even though I'm a successful, full, financially secure, lucky woman in the world, I can't shake that part of me that looks at the sale item, at the gap.

Yeah, it's so beautiful that you do it for others. It's so beautiful that you talk about situations that our culture is not always ready to hear, like that. There are children who are in horrific situations like yours, and yet sometimes there's nowhere for them to go. Sometimes, you know, there's not a foster home all, you know, scrubbed and perfect, waiting for you to love it. I wish it would happen that way. It doesn't happen that way. The statistic show that it doesn't happen that way. You know. I wondered because again, the things that are similar about us. I was really hooked into and reading all about you what it was like for you and I. You know, I rarely talk to people who have lived this because it's kind of rare to go from being like a poorer kid to going to be very rich, Like it was almost like I landed on a new planet, you know, and I was like, oh wow, and inside of me, I still feel like the kid that had to go to Corvette's or John's bargain basement to get the discount loose leaves for school. You know, like I still feel that, even though I'm a successful, full, financially secure, lucky woman in the world, I can't shake that part of me that looks at the sale item, at the gap.

You know, I agree. I remember, so I smoked cigarettes for a long time and I quit when I was twenty five, And around then, I remember I would smoke Newports. That's how you know. I'm from the hood. So I'd like smoke these Newports, and I was with my manager, and you know, at twenty five, like I was doing pretty good, Like my breakout year was the one one hundred year nine. Then followed up with other hit records and like really, you know, took advantage of an amazing situation and all the eyes on me. But before then, you know, my first two albums, Under Pressure in twenty fourteen and The Incredible True Story in twenty fifteen, when I was twenty five, those were like culturally in my space of hip hop, like hit albums, Like I didn't have hits all over the radio, but right old there was something It really helped kind of push the culture, which is really special for me.

You know, I agree. I remember, so I smoked cigarettes for a long time and I quit when I was twenty five, And around then, I remember I would smoke Newports. That's how you know. I'm from the hood. So I'd like smoke these Newports, and I was with my manager, and you know, at twenty five, like I was doing pretty good, Like my breakout year was the one one hundred year nine. Then followed up with other hit records and like really, you know, took advantage of an amazing situation and all the eyes on me. But before then, you know, my first two albums, Under Pressure in twenty fourteen and The Incredible True Story in twenty fifteen, when I was twenty five, those were like culturally in my space of hip hop, like hit albums, Like I didn't have hits all over the radio, but right old there was something It really helped kind of push the culture, which is really special for me.

Right it wasn't so much singles, kind of like The Miseducation of Lauren Hill.

Right it wasn't so much singles, kind of like The Miseducation of Lauren Hill.

That was.

That was.

Yeah, that was an album right that you loved and you listened to it. You felt her, You understand where she was from and what she's about. And but there wasn't necessarily one that you know, Zion which I love, that song about her son never made it to the radio. You know, you didn't hear it on the radio.

Yeah, that was an album right that you loved and you listened to it. You felt her, You understand where she was from and what she's about. And but there wasn't necessarily one that you know, Zion which I love, that song about her son never made it to the radio. You know, you didn't hear it on the radio.

But but it made it to your heart.

But but it made it to your heart.

Oh my god. And that album was a cohesive unit. It's like a beautiful, big masterpiece painting. You know, it's just like your stuff. I agree, it's true, Bobby, It's true.

Oh my god. And that album was a cohesive unit. It's like a beautiful, big masterpiece painting. You know, it's just like your stuff. I agree, it's true, Bobby, It's true.

So when I was twenty five, Yes, I'm smoking these cigarettes and I would always I put half out and put it back in a pack. One day, my buddy goes, why the hell do you do that?

So when I was twenty five, Yes, I'm smoking these cigarettes and I would always I put half out and put it back in a pack. One day, my buddy goes, why the hell do you do that?

Yes?

Yes?

And I go, oh, because you know, I'm done with this half. I'm just going to save it for And he goes, bro, you're rich. What are you talking about? Yeah? And then if I kind of like at this moment where I was like, oh my god, and I didn't even like realize how far I had thought. Yes, It's like it was this really incredible thing. So so I agree with you there, and I think people like us we definitely have a different perspective on life, because you know, there's people who are born in the money, but they're amazing people, They're great people. They spend their whole lives trying to give up, trying to help. But I do think we have And by no means am I comparing or saying we have some kind of an edge even though we do. Being poor, yeah, and then getting money, yes, is like one of the craziest things in the world.

And I go, oh, because you know, I'm done with this half. I'm just going to save it for And he goes, bro, you're rich. What are you talking about? Yeah? And then if I kind of like at this moment where I was like, oh my god, and I didn't even like realize how far I had thought. Yes, It's like it was this really incredible thing. So so I agree with you there, and I think people like us we definitely have a different perspective on life, because you know, there's people who are born in the money, but they're amazing people, They're great people. They spend their whole lives trying to give up, trying to help. But I do think we have And by no means am I comparing or saying we have some kind of an edge even though we do. Being poor, yeah, and then getting money, yes, is like one of the craziest things in the world.

I agree, not.

I agree, not.

Only how much you truly appreciate it, but if you are a good person in your heart and you do what you can to give it back. Yes, I mean, it's the greatest feeling in the world.

Only how much you truly appreciate it, but if you are a good person in your heart and you do what you can to give it back. Yes, I mean, it's the greatest feeling in the world.

Telling you, Yeah, it feels like there's no way I can ever give enough to make it fair.

Telling you, Yeah, it feels like there's no way I can ever give enough to make it fair.

You know.

You know.

It feels like the amount of lottery kind of winnings that I've been given and earned, so to speak, in my career, it just feels like an exorbit then excess, like I sometimes still can't believe it. You know, I can't believe it.

It feels like the amount of lottery kind of winnings that I've been given and earned, so to speak, in my career, it just feels like an exorbit then excess, like I sometimes still can't believe it. You know, I can't believe it.

Yeah, but you have you also you have family and you know, like you said, you have five children. I mean you've you've hustled, you've grown. I mean, dude from films and even the television show over two thousand episodes like Yo, you hustled. Yeah you didn't just know. You just wake up one day like oh I won the lottery, Like yo, you created a legacy. And even though you know this, this this term absorbitant amount of money, it's like, yeah, it can almost seem too much, but I know like you help it. Of course we help others. We like when I donate and ship, like I don't I just do it anonymously. I'm just like, yeah, it's almost like that episode of Curb where it's like Larry David don't there's the wing and uh, I forget what it is? Who is it? Who's I forget who share? As with later in the in.

Yeah, but you have you also you have family and you know, like you said, you have five children. I mean you've you've hustled, you've grown. I mean, dude from films and even the television show over two thousand episodes like Yo, you hustled. Yeah you didn't just know. You just wake up one day like oh I won the lottery, Like yo, you created a legacy. And even though you know this, this this term absorbitant amount of money, it's like, yeah, it can almost seem too much, but I know like you help it. Of course we help others. We like when I donate and ship, like I don't I just do it anonymously. I'm just like, yeah, it's almost like that episode of Curb where it's like Larry David don't there's the wing and uh, I forget what it is? Who is it? Who's I forget who share? As with later in the in.

The Ted Danceing Ted Dancing, Yes.

The Ted Danceing Ted Dancing, Yes.

Yeah, Ted Dancing Swing and it's in the name of anonymous. It was donated by anonymous, but everybody knew it was him. So I just feel like I pulled a Ted Dance and by going I.

Yeah, Ted Dancing Swing and it's in the name of anonymous. It was donated by anonymous, but everybody knew it was him. So I just feel like I pulled a Ted Dance and by going I.

Donate exactly well, you do feel you know. I don't know if you feel this, but I definitely sometimes feel almost guilty about it, you know. I have that kind of almost like it's too much. We'll be back with more logic after this. Now, you also did something similar to what I did when you were very young. I was forty, but you were like twenty six. You retired.

Donate exactly well, you do feel you know. I don't know if you feel this, but I definitely sometimes feel almost guilty about it, you know. I have that kind of almost like it's too much. We'll be back with more logic after this. Now, you also did something similar to what I did when you were very young. I was forty, but you were like twenty six. You retired.

I was thirty. That's funny that actually I was thirty you were forty. Yeah, so I and I retired. If I can be completely honest with you, I ran away.

I was thirty. That's funny that actually I was thirty you were forty. Yeah, so I and I retired. If I can be completely honest with you, I ran away.

Yeah, yeah, I can understand I did too, sort of.

Yeah, yeah, I can understand I did too, sort of.

I ran away, and I was inspired by having my son. Yes, And I was on a hamster wheel doing this, and I had made more money than I could ever need, and how many platinum plan I mean just plaques and plaques and number ones and number ones, and everybody's in your pockets like keep going, keep going, keep going. Yes, And I stepped off the hamster wheel, had my son, and for the last three years have been utterly dedicated to your family, my boy, and then woke up one day realizing that I kind of also ran away from the negativity of the internet and all these things. The pressure was like yeah, but I was like, fuck them, I'm not gonna let them win, you know what I mean. I was like, I know my worth. I am enough, I'm good enough, I'm strong enough. You know I'm gonna I'm gonna come back and continue to spread that message of peace, love and positivity. And the way that I learned this, obviously through therapy, was everything used to hurt me. Like, you know, I go on there, I go on the internet and it's like, oh, your wife's ugly and I hope your baby dies. It's like you see something like that, and yeah, but you see it here and there, and it just you're not good enough. You're not good enough. You're not good enough. And when I looked in the mirror and did the work to realize like I am good enough, oh, I went, oh my goodness, it's okay if somebody says something negative about me. And I used to get so angry that it would hurt. Why Why why does this hurt? Why? I don't understand. I don't understand. And as a human being, it's okay if something someone says about you or your family or the people you love in the most terrible and disgusting. Way right, It's okay if it hurts, but what you are in control of is how much you let it hurt and how long you let it hurt. And when I realized that, it completely changed my perspective. And now I'm here, standing tall, standing strong. I have my good days my bad days, but I know that either one of those are okay, And so we back.

I ran away, and I was inspired by having my son. Yes, And I was on a hamster wheel doing this, and I had made more money than I could ever need, and how many platinum plan I mean just plaques and plaques and number ones and number ones, and everybody's in your pockets like keep going, keep going, keep going. Yes, And I stepped off the hamster wheel, had my son, and for the last three years have been utterly dedicated to your family, my boy, and then woke up one day realizing that I kind of also ran away from the negativity of the internet and all these things. The pressure was like yeah, but I was like, fuck them, I'm not gonna let them win, you know what I mean. I was like, I know my worth. I am enough, I'm good enough, I'm strong enough. You know I'm gonna I'm gonna come back and continue to spread that message of peace, love and positivity. And the way that I learned this, obviously through therapy, was everything used to hurt me. Like, you know, I go on there, I go on the internet and it's like, oh, your wife's ugly and I hope your baby dies. It's like you see something like that, and yeah, but you see it here and there, and it just you're not good enough. You're not good enough. You're not good enough. And when I looked in the mirror and did the work to realize like I am good enough, oh, I went, oh my goodness, it's okay if somebody says something negative about me. And I used to get so angry that it would hurt. Why Why why does this hurt? Why? I don't understand. I don't understand. And as a human being, it's okay if something someone says about you or your family or the people you love in the most terrible and disgusting. Way right, It's okay if it hurts, but what you are in control of is how much you let it hurt and how long you let it hurt. And when I realized that, it completely changed my perspective. And now I'm here, standing tall, standing strong. I have my good days my bad days, but I know that either one of those are okay, And so we back.

You know, you talked about the Internet and how you used to wake up and it would be in your hand, and you were doing this and it was in your hand, and you realized everything you did. Did you cut down on your phone addiction, which we all have. The Internet in our hand is the worst thing that's happened to everyone in so many years. But have you been able to curtail that at all?

You know, you talked about the Internet and how you used to wake up and it would be in your hand, and you were doing this and it was in your hand, and you realized everything you did. Did you cut down on your phone addiction, which we all have. The Internet in our hand is the worst thing that's happened to everyone in so many years. But have you been able to curtail that at all?

Oh that's a good word.

Oh that's a good word.

I look it up like her mom said, Oh my god, Yo, it's.

I look it up like her mom said, Oh my god, Yo, it's.

So crazy, like we got to kick it at something.

So crazy, like we got to kick it at something.

Yes, totally.

Yes, totally.

Yeah, you know, I feel like the Internet is the greatest and worst thing ever. It allowed me kind of in an era at the end of like the radio and like MTV and like where if you weren't there, like you're nowhere. It allowed artists like myself, j Cole, Kendrick Lamar, and Khalifa to take our fans directly because people were on Twitter like just had some eggs. Yeah, that's what people were using it for, right, and then we were like check out my song. And it was like a new platform in a new way. And so when I first, you know, when the Internet, when that you know, almost fifteen years ago started, it was a different place. It was actually more positive and like if somebody had something negative to say, even that in and of itself was more articulate. It was more like, you know, I don't really like logic, like he's cool, whatever, I don't really like his music because I feel the way that he speaks is contrite and such a and it was like everybody was like a rolling stone like whatever. But now it's just like this shit.

Yeah, you know, I feel like the Internet is the greatest and worst thing ever. It allowed me kind of in an era at the end of like the radio and like MTV and like where if you weren't there, like you're nowhere. It allowed artists like myself, j Cole, Kendrick Lamar, and Khalifa to take our fans directly because people were on Twitter like just had some eggs. Yeah, that's what people were using it for, right, and then we were like check out my song. And it was like a new platform in a new way. And so when I first, you know, when the Internet, when that you know, almost fifteen years ago started, it was a different place. It was actually more positive and like if somebody had something negative to say, even that in and of itself was more articulate. It was more like, you know, I don't really like logic, like he's cool, whatever, I don't really like his music because I feel the way that he speaks is contrite and such a and it was like everybody was like a rolling stone like whatever. But now it's just like this shit.

You suck, you suck, you ugly, Yeah exactly. And how much you consume that affects your soul.

You suck, you suck, you ugly, Yeah exactly. And how much you consume that affects your soul.

I mean literally every day. The fact that, like, bro, think about how much information the average phone slash Internet user consumes daily. I mean it's like more than somebody should even see it in like fifty years, like totally just like deaf here, deaf here, oh, the new drink song is out, Oh this over here, like just all this crazy stuff. So for me, it has been a struggle, and it still is a struggle. But for the most part, I'm not on the internet. I do check from time to time, mainly to really connect with my fans and see what they're doing, but like, sure my managers handle everything. I don't have any apps on my phone, I don't have any of that, and I'll send them like a picture or you know, you know, if, for example, like when this comes out, like I'll be like, make sure we support this, and I'll be like, here's what I have to say about Rosie. She's so awesome and sweet and amazing and I love her da da da, and so that it's from my words, but I give it to them. And from doing this, I've really, really, really freed myself. But what's crazy is the fact that, like I'll go on the internet and I used to just solely focus on the negativity. It's hard not to.

I mean literally every day. The fact that, like, bro, think about how much information the average phone slash Internet user consumes daily. I mean it's like more than somebody should even see it in like fifty years, like totally just like deaf here, deaf here, oh, the new drink song is out, Oh this over here, like just all this crazy stuff. So for me, it has been a struggle, and it still is a struggle. But for the most part, I'm not on the internet. I do check from time to time, mainly to really connect with my fans and see what they're doing, but like, sure my managers handle everything. I don't have any apps on my phone, I don't have any of that, and I'll send them like a picture or you know, you know, if, for example, like when this comes out, like I'll be like, make sure we support this, and I'll be like, here's what I have to say about Rosie. She's so awesome and sweet and amazing and I love her da da da, and so that it's from my words, but I give it to them. And from doing this, I've really, really, really freed myself. But what's crazy is the fact that, like I'll go on the internet and I used to just solely focus on the negativity. It's hard not to.

It's hard not to when you're a stand up comic and the crowd is laughing at a comedy club and everyone's going crazy, but there's one person who's not smiling. Do you think that maybe they had a death in the family or maybe no, you think I suck, and they're right, And the seven hundred people who were here are idiots, and I'm an idiot. Like it's natural. I think that that when someone gives you something negative, you focus on it. You know, you gotta unlearn that.

It's hard not to when you're a stand up comic and the crowd is laughing at a comedy club and everyone's going crazy, but there's one person who's not smiling. Do you think that maybe they had a death in the family or maybe no, you think I suck, and they're right, And the seven hundred people who were here are idiots, and I'm an idiot. Like it's natural. I think that that when someone gives you something negative, you focus on it. You know, you gotta unlearn that.

Yeah, and it's people, you know, we all go with the meaning of life. Yeah, I have no idea, but I'm living it. So it's like it's one of those things. I'm just gonna keep living it and try to figure this out. And you know, some days I got it all figured out.

Yeah, and it's people, you know, we all go with the meaning of life. Yeah, I have no idea, but I'm living it. So it's like it's one of those things. I'm just gonna keep living it and try to figure this out. And you know, some days I got it all figured out.

Of course I got to me too, Honey, meet me on a good day, That's I'm saying.

Of course I got to me too, Honey, meet me on a good day, That's I'm saying.

And then the next day one person will just say some shit and I'm just like a failure. Like it's it's crazy, like I've had. I've had people even just in the world of like music, like you know, fucking critics say shit like, oh, you know, this dude's the worst rapper to ever grace a microphone in the history of the hip hop and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And but then like I walk up and I'm selling out Madison Square Garden. Yeah, so it's a lot. It's a crazy Yeah. I think the internet, especially for the younger generation, is a real place. But it's not.

And then the next day one person will just say some shit and I'm just like a failure. Like it's it's crazy, like I've had. I've had people even just in the world of like music, like you know, fucking critics say shit like, oh, you know, this dude's the worst rapper to ever grace a microphone in the history of the hip hop and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And but then like I walk up and I'm selling out Madison Square Garden. Yeah, so it's a lot. It's a crazy Yeah. I think the internet, especially for the younger generation, is a real place. But it's not.

It's so true.

It's so true.

Yeah, it's just it's crazy.

Yeah, it's just it's crazy.

It's crazy. Now, tell me about your new album and you're going on tour and we're coming to see you and this one is produced independently. How how did you feel about that? Did you think there was more freedom? Was there support that you didn't get or did you just have your crew already from so many albums, so many wonderful albums and Grammy nominations that you kind of knew how to do it right you?

It's crazy. Now, tell me about your new album and you're going on tour and we're coming to see you and this one is produced independently. How how did you feel about that? Did you think there was more freedom? Was there support that you didn't get or did you just have your crew already from so many albums, so many wonderful albums and Grammy nominations that you kind of knew how to do it right you?

Wow? Thank yeah, thank you first of all once again for doing your homework and taking the time and genuinely caring. It's called College Park and it takes place in twenty eleven, and in twenty eleven, I was living in College Park. This is actually the merchandise. For sure. I was living in College Park, homeless, didn't have anywhere to go. My best friend Lenny big Lembo, who I'm naming my soon to be born baby boy, Leo Leon after him, how I had nowhere to sleep, nowhere to live. He let me crash on his couch, and a year later, almost to the day, I signed with def Jam Universal Music Group, got a nice check, moved everybody to LA and the rest is history. And the whole time that I was on my come up, I was never present because I couldn't be I couldn't be complacent because I had no backup plan, no education, didn't graduate high school. Like it was either make it or nothing or nothing.