Have you ever pushed away the love you wanted most or clung to it so tightly that you lost yourself in the process?

Jay sits down with Attachment Style expert and creator of the Integrated Attachment Theory Thais Gibson to unpack one of the most powerful forces shaping our relationships. Together, they explore how our earliest emotional experiences quietly shape the way we love, communicate, and respond to conflict later in adulthood. Thais explains how anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant patterns aren’t flaws or labels that define us, but protective mechanisms we once needed to feel safe.

Jay and Thais dive into the subtle ways attachment wounds show up in dating and long-term relationships, from overthinking a delayed text, to fearing commitment when things start to get too serious. Thais shares practical tools for recognizing your subconscious needs, reprogramming limiting beliefs, and communicating in ways that build security instead of sabotaging connection. Jay highlights how healing isn’t about changing who you are, it’s about understanding why you are the way you are, and consciously choosing new patterns that align with the love you truly desire. They emphasize that compatibility alone isn’t enough; emotional safety, self-awareness, and the willingness to grow are what sustain meaningful connection.

This is a reminder that love is not just about finding the right person, it’s about becoming the safest, most secure version of yourself. When we learn to meet our own unmet needs, we stop outsourcing our worth and start building relationships rooted in clarity, compassion, and conscious choice.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Identify Your Attachment Style

How to Stop Overthinking in Relationships

How to Communicate Your Emotional Needs Clearly

How to Reprogram Limiting Love Beliefs

How to Build Emotional Safety with a Partner

How to Respond Instead of React to Triggers

How to Set Boundaries Without Fear of Abandonment

Awareness is the turning point. The moment you begin to notice your triggers without judging them, communicate your needs without apologizing for them, and choose growth over fear, that’s the moment your relationships begin to change.

Interested in learning more about your own Attachment style, take the Attachment Style Quiz here: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/quiz?utm_source=pr-js&utm_medium=public_relations&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_content=new-attachment-theory 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe  

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:25 Understanding Your Attachment Style

17:13 How to Date with Self-Awareness

20:26 Healing Your Core Wounds

28:50 Can Insecure Attachment Build a Healthy Relationship?

30:05 The Five Pillars of Emotional Healing

32:10 Pillar One: Reprogramming Core Beliefs

34:29 Pillar Two: Practicing Self-Validation

38:37 Pillar Three: Regulating the Nervous System

43:50 Pillar Four: Conscious Communication

53:08 Pillar Five: Creating Healthy Boundaries

50:09 Are Your Needs Realistic or Trauma-Driven?

57:16 The 90-Day Reprogramming Process

59:09 When One Partner Resists Self-Work

01:02:18 How Do You Move Forward With an Unwilling Partner?

01:04:10 The Psychology of Love Bombing

01:05:12 How Do You Set Boundaries With a Narcissist?

01:09:04 Why Anxious and Secure Dynamics Can Struggle

01:10:52 When Power Struggles Begin

01:17:53 Are You Just Scared or Is It a True Mismatch?

01:20:58 When is it Time to Break Up?

01:25:27 Do You Ever Truly Move On?

01:27:17 No One Is Ever 100% Ready

01:31:27 The Invaluable Lessons Hidden in Hard Times

01:34:51 This or That: Relationship Edition

01:39:44 Thais on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Website | http://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast/all-access-pass 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHQ4lSaKRap5HyrpitrTOhQ 

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool/ 

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson 

The Thais Gibson Podcast

Have you ever pushed away the love you wanted most or clung to it so tightly that you lost yourself in the process?
Jay sits down with Attachment Style expert and creator of the Integrated Attachment Theory Thais Gibson to unpack one of the most powerful forces shaping our relationships. Together, they explore how our earliest emotional experiences quietly shape the way we love, communicate, and respond to conflict later in adulthood. Thais explains how anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant patterns aren&rsquo;t flaws or labels that define us, but protective mechanisms we once needed to feel safe.
Jay and Thais dive into the subtle ways attachment wounds show up in dating and long-term relationships, from overthinking a delayed text, to fearing commitment when things start to get too serious. Thais shares practical tools for recognizing your subconscious needs, reprogramming limiting beliefs, and communicating in ways that build security instead of sabotaging connection. Jay highlights how healing isn&rsquo;t about changing who you are, it&rsquo;s about understanding why you are the way you are, and consciously choosing new patterns that align with the love you truly desire. They emphasize that compatibility alone isn&rsquo;t enough; emotional safety, self-awareness, and the willingness to grow are what sustain meaningful connection.
This is a reminder that love is not just about finding the right person, it&rsquo;s about becoming the safest, most secure version of yourself. When we learn to meet our own unmet needs, we stop outsourcing our worth and start building relationships rooted in clarity, compassion, and conscious choice.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Identify Your Attachment Style
How to Stop Overthinking in Relationships
How to Communicate Your Emotional Needs Clearly
How to Reprogram Limiting Love Beliefs
How to Build Emotional Safety with a Partner
How to Respond Instead of React to Triggers
How to Set Boundaries Without Fear of Abandonment
Awareness is the turning point. The moment you begin to notice your triggers without judging them, communicate your needs without apologizing for them, and choose growth over fear, that&rsquo;s the moment your relationships begin to change.
Interested in learning more about your own Attachment style, take the Attachment Style Quiz here: <a href="https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/quiz?utm_source=pr-js&amp;utm_medium=public_relations&amp;utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&amp;utm_content=new-attachment-theory">https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/quiz?utm_source=pr-js&amp;utm_medium=public_relations&amp;utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&amp;utm_content=new-attachment-theory</a>&nbsp;
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe</a> &nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:25 Understanding Your Attachment Style
17:13 How to Date with Self-Awareness
20:26 Healing Your Core Wounds
28:50 Can Insecure Attachment Build a Healthy Relationship?
30:05 The Five Pillars of Emotional Healing
32:10 Pillar One: Reprogramming Core Beliefs
34:29 Pillar Two: Practicing Self-Validation
38:37 Pillar Three: Regulating the Nervous System
43:50 Pillar Four: Conscious Communication
53:08 Pillar Five: Creating Healthy Boundaries
50:09 Are Your Needs Realistic or Trauma-Driven?
57:16 The 90-Day Reprogramming Process
59:09 When One Partner Resists Self-Work
01:02:18 How Do You Move Forward With an Unwilling Partner?
01:04:10 The Psychology of Love Bombing
01:05:12 How Do You Set Boundaries With a Narcissist?
01:09:04 Why Anxious and Secure Dynamics Can Struggle
01:10:52 When Power Struggles Begin
01:17:53 Are You Just Scared or Is It a True Mismatch?
01:20:58 When is it Time to Break Up?
01:25:27 Do You Ever Truly Move On?
01:27:17 No One Is Ever 100% Ready
01:31:27 The Invaluable Lessons Hidden in Hard Times
01:34:51 This or That: Relationship Edition
01:39:44 Thais on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Website | <a href="http://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast/all-access-pass">http://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast/all-access-pass</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHQ4lSaKRap5HyrpitrTOhQ">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHQ4lSaKRap5HyrpitrTOhQ</a>&nbsp;
Facebook | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool/">https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool/</a>&nbsp;
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/">https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/</a>&nbsp;
TikTok | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson">https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson</a>&nbsp;
<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-thais-gibson-podcast/id1478580185">The Thais Gibson Podcast</a>

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

Relationship Expert Thais Gibson: Do You Keep Attracting The Same Emotionally Unavailable Partner? (Use THIS Attachment Reset To Break The Cycle And Choose Better Partners)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/8a84c00d-8aff-425f-bf5b-b3f50066638b/transcript