Jay is joined on stage at Boston’s Wang Theatre by his longtime friend Mel Robbins, in front of a packed live audience. Their shared history allows them to speak openly and honestly about the pressure to be liked, the fear of being misunderstood, and how easily we lose ourselves trying to meet other people’s expectations. Mel’s superpower is her ability to choose herself in moments when giving up or staying small feels safer.

Mel shares the hard truths she’s learned about self-criticism, people-pleasing, and why waiting to feel “ready” keeps us stuck. Jay reflects on how constantly judging and fixing ourselves pulls us away from our inner life, and why real growth starts with awareness and self-respect. Mel also talks about how many of her biggest changes came from desperation, not confidence, and Jay reframes jealousy, fear, and failure as signs that something meaningful is trying to emerge.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Run Your Life

How to Quiet Your Inner Critic When Stress Takes Over

How to Unlearn the Self-Criticism You Were Taught Growing Up

How to Stop Waiting to Feel “Ready” to Start Living Your Life

How to Break the Habit of People-Pleasing Without Guilt

How to Use Jealousy as a Clue Instead of a Curse

How to Keep Going When Desperation, Not Confidence, Is Driving You

Life doesn’t change all at once. It changes when you choose to speak to yourself with kindness, honor your needs, and take the next step even when you’re afraid.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:17 What Do We Really Worry About Most?

02:12 How to Quiet the Inner Critic

15:50 Stop Obsessing Over the Physical 

18:17 How People-Pleasing Is Actually a Form of Control

25:02 Start Listening to Your Own Needs

29:54 Finding the Strength to Let Go and Move Forward

41:15 Is it a Vibe or Not a Vibe?

46:18 Creating Safety by Letting Go of Judgment

50:04 The Power of Outlasting Yourself

58:50 Making Space for Hurt While Choosing Compassion

01:05:14 Turning What You Love Into a Business

Episode Resources:

Website | https://www.melrobbins.com/ 

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/c/melrobbins 

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins 

The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About

Jay is joined on stage at Boston&rsquo;s Wang Theatre by his longtime friend Mel Robbins, in front of a packed live audience. Their shared history allows them to speak openly and honestly about the pressure to be liked, the fear of being misunderstood, and how easily we lose ourselves trying to meet other people&rsquo;s expectations. Mel&rsquo;s superpower is her ability to choose herself in moments when giving up or staying small feels safer.
Mel shares the hard truths she&rsquo;s learned about self-criticism, people-pleasing, and why waiting to feel &ldquo;ready&rdquo; keeps us stuck. Jay reflects on how constantly judging and fixing ourselves pulls us away from our inner life, and why real growth starts with awareness and self-respect. Mel also talks about how many of her biggest changes came from desperation, not confidence, and Jay reframes jealousy, fear, and failure as signs that something meaningful is trying to emerge.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Stop Letting Other People&rsquo;s Opinions Run Your Life
How to Quiet Your Inner Critic When Stress Takes Over
How to Unlearn the Self-Criticism You Were Taught Growing Up
How to Stop Waiting to Feel &ldquo;Ready&rdquo; to Start Living Your Life
How to Break the Habit of People-Pleasing Without Guilt
How to Use Jealousy as a Clue Instead of a Curse
How to Keep Going When Desperation, Not Confidence, Is Driving You
Life doesn&rsquo;t change all at once. It changes when you choose to speak to yourself with kindness, honor your needs, and take the next step even when you&rsquo;re afraid.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.&nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:17 What Do We Really Worry About Most?
02:12 How to Quiet the Inner Critic
15:50 Stop Obsessing Over the Physical&nbsp;
18:17 How People-Pleasing Is Actually a Form of Control
25:02 Start Listening to Your Own Needs
29:54 Finding the Strength to Let Go and Move Forward
41:15 Is it a Vibe or Not a Vibe?
46:18 Creating Safety by Letting Go of Judgment
50:04 The Power of Outlasting Yourself
58:50 Making Space for Hurt While Choosing Compassion
01:05:14 Turning What You Love Into a Business
Episode Resources:
Website | <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/">https://www.melrobbins.com/</a>&nbsp;
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/">https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/melrobbins">https://www.youtube.com/c/melrobbins</a>&nbsp;
TikTok | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins">https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins</a>&nbsp;
<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mel-robbins-podcast/id1646101002">The Mel Robbins Podcast</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Let-Them-Theory-Life-Changing-Millions/dp/B0DFMZMKFJ/?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_w=Rp7as&amp;content-id=amzn1.sym.bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_p=bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_r=132-8121315-7594942&amp;pd_rd_wg=OVMET&amp;pd_rd_r=8ae51e79-e6c5-4904-8848-02949c09243c&amp;ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk">The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can&rsquo;t Stop Talking About</a>

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

MEL ROBBINS: How to Stop People-Pleasing Without Feeling Guilty (Follow THIS Simple Rule to Set Boundaries and Stop Putting Yourself Last!)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/52ae422e-99a1-4a97-8b5b-b3d20081a466/transcript