We often think change will make sense once we get to the other side, but what if the real work of change is learning how to stay present in the uncertainty itself?

Today, Jay sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar to explore why unexpected change feels so threatening, and why losing what we thought our life would look like can feel like losing ourselves. From a career-ending injury early in her life to deeply personal losses later on, Maya reflects on how life’s unexpected turns can quietly reshape how we see ourselves, our worth, and our place in the world.

Maya explains that one of the biggest mistakes we make during change is tying our self-worth to roles, titles, or outcomes. When those fall away, it can feel deeply destabilizing. Instead, she invites us to root our identity in something more stable: our “why.” The deeper reasons behind what we love—connection, service, growth, creativity. When we stay connected to those, we can move through change without losing ourselves. Jay reflects on how often we seek external validation and why redefining success during loss is essential for resilience.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Handle Change You Didn’t Choose

How to Anchor Your Self-Worth Beyond External Success

How to Find Your “Why” When Life Falls Apart

How to Rebuild Yourself After a Dream Ends

How to Grow into the Person Change Is Shaping You To Be

If you’re going through a season of change right now, remember this: you’re not broken for struggling with it. Change is meant to shake us, to slow us down, and to make us question who we are beyond our titles, plans, and expectations.

A quietly powerful read about resilience and reinvention by Maya Shankar, The Other Side of Change invites you to meet yourself again when life takes an unexpected turn - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729180/the-other-side-of-change-by-maya-shankar/

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:11 How Change Has Shaped Your Life

04:52 Why Does Change Feel So Scary?

11:45 Why We Tie Our Identity to What We Do

16:25 What Awaits on the Other Side of Change

24:47 Using Self-Affirmation to Stay Grounded

30:51 Finding Gratitude in Who You Become

39:31 Maya on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Maya Shankar | https://mayashankar.com/ 

Maya Shankar | https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar 

Maya Shankar | https://x.com/slightchangepod 

A Slight Change of Plans | https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622

We often think change will make sense once we get to the other side, but what if the real work of change is learning how to stay present in the uncertainty itself?
Today, Jay sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar to explore why unexpected change feels so threatening, and why losing what we thought our life would look like can feel like losing ourselves. From a career-ending injury early in her life to deeply personal losses later on, Maya reflects on how life&rsquo;s unexpected turns can quietly reshape how we see ourselves, our worth, and our place in the world.
Maya explains that one of the biggest mistakes we make during change is tying our self-worth to roles, titles, or outcomes. When those fall away, it can feel deeply destabilizing. Instead, she invites us to root our identity in something more stable: our &ldquo;why.&rdquo; The deeper reasons behind what we love&mdash;connection, service, growth, creativity. When we stay connected to those, we can move through change without losing ourselves. Jay reflects on how often we seek external validation and why redefining success during loss is essential for resilience.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Handle Change You Didn&rsquo;t Choose
How to Anchor Your Self-Worth Beyond External Success
How to Find Your &ldquo;Why&rdquo; When Life Falls Apart
How to Rebuild Yourself After a Dream Ends
How to Grow into the Person Change Is Shaping You To Be
If you&rsquo;re going through a season of change right now, remember this: you&rsquo;re not broken for struggling with it. Change is meant to shake us, to slow us down, and to make us question who we are beyond our titles, plans, and expectations.
A quietly powerful read about resilience and reinvention by Maya Shankar, The Other Side of Change invites you to meet yourself again when life takes an unexpected turn - <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729180/the-other-side-of-change-by-maya-shankar/">https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729180/the-other-side-of-change-by-maya-shankar/</a>
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.&nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:11 How Change Has Shaped Your Life
04:52 Why Does Change Feel So Scary?
11:45 Why We Tie Our Identity to What We Do
16:25 What Awaits on the Other Side of Change
24:47 Using Self-Affirmation to Stay Grounded
30:51 Finding Gratitude in Who You Become
39:31 Maya on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Maya Shankar | <a href="https://mayashankar.com/">https://mayashankar.com/</a>&nbsp;
Maya Shankar | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar">https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar</a>&nbsp;
Maya Shankar | <a href="https://x.com/slightchangepod">https://x.com/slightchangepod</a>&nbsp;
A Slight Change of Plans | <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622</a>

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

Dr. Maya Shankar: Does Change Make You Feel Lost Or Uncertain? (Use THIS Framework To Find Direction Again and Use Change to Upgrade Your Life!)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/e6b21463-c610-4a5d-86ce-b3ee003b02de/transcript