Everyone talked about a morning routine and meditation, and I'm like, if all of these really successful people that I admire do this, there's got to be something to it. I need to wake up and work out. I need to wake up and do this. But those things didn't work for me. So it was trying something for a week, do I feel better? And I got it to a routine of the things that feel best for me. Those five things might not work for you. Hey, everyone, welcome back to our Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. And I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with Love. Make sure you grab this book, and I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour. Love Rules. Go to Ja shettytour dot com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year, and you know that I'm always going to look out for guests who have different experiences, different walks of life. People have built and created incredible cultural phenomenons and also at the same time learned lessons along the way that they can share with us. Now, I know that you're going to be really excited for this one because I know a ton of you already follow our next guest, and I'm excited for you to learn about behind the scenes story and the journey that she's taken to get there. I'm speaking about the one and only Marianna Hewett, who's a leading voice in social media and the co founder of Summer Fridays, the skincare brand whose iconic jetlag mask became an instant bestseller. Marianna is also the host of our own podcast, Life with Marianna, the number one fashion and beauty podcast. I got to be a guest, I think right at the beginning near when the show launched, it's been on an incredible trajectory. Amazing guest makes you check it out. Marianna's a dear friend, so I'm loving this opportunity. I just said to our offline that when a friend comes on the show, I think I know them a little bit, and then we interview them, and then I realized I know them a whole lot better. So I hope you feel inspired to interview your friends as well. Marianna, Welcome to Operas. No, it's so great to have you. I've been looking forward to this, and I loved the interview we did for your podcast two years ago. Now, yeah, it was one of my favorite episodes and people loved it so much, and so I'm so happy you're coming back again. Yes, yes, I'm excited to come back again. And you know, you've just been on this incredible journey with your brands, your work, the community you spend time with, your such a respected voice, such a well known face in the industry, which I think is really hard to do when you've done it from building a brand, when you've done it from building social media, it's hard to maintain that. But I want to go backwards today because as we were researching, we also found that you don't always share too much about yourself. And that's obviously what on purpose is built upon. And I wanted to ask you, like, and I asked this often, what's your earliest strong memory as a child, Like, can you remember if you could go back, what's one of your strongest earliest memories and why is it so important to you? And I'll tell you mine as I as I let you think on yours. If I think about my earliest earliest memory, I can probably remember holding my sister when she was born. So I was around four and a half going on five, and I remember her being in my arms and like it was amazing to have that opportunity to actually hold this baby. And I remember my parents had been like preparing me for this moment where they were like, you've got to pray for a new new little friend to be in your life, and so like for weeks on end and months I was praying, so I was prepped. And then when my mom was going to hospital and everything, I remember my dad like staying at home with me and doing puzzles and like keeping me occupied and getting me ready. And then finally, when I held my sister, was like such a moment and the reason why. And I think about how that moment impacted me, and I feel my parents did a great job at me being excited, and at the same time, I feel that's been a big part of why I feel so close to my sister. And I often called my sister kid because I see her as my little child, and so there was a parental aspect. I feel like I became quite fatherly early on. So anyway, that's my earliest memory of four and a half years old. I want to know yours. We have a mutual friend, Audrey, and she was asking me the other day, like, how far back do you remember? And I'm like, I remember my first day of kindergarten. She's like you do, and I was like, yeah, I can remember waiting in line, I can remember my backpack, I remember going into school. And it really was memories from six on where I remember a lot. At the time my parents got divorced, I was six, so this is very early nineties before a lot of family we're getting divorced, and I had grown up in Germany, that's where I was born, and after my parents divorced, my mom went back to Germany, and this is very modern of my parents at the time. But I ended up living with my dad full time, so my dad was a full time single parent. They were cross continental co parenting, which is like it just seems very crazy like thinking back then. But I think it's a lot to my independence now because I started flying by myself to Germany to see my mom when I was six. So my dad used to take me to the airport. This is before TSA preach. This is how long ago it was, or your people could like walk you to the gate. So my dad would walk me there and then someone would take me on the plane. I would fly to Germany. I would meet my mom there on the other end. And I'm an only child and a youngest child, so I have two older half sisters, but I was my parents only kids. So from a really young age, I had this independence of Okay, I could fly to Germany by myself, like I can do everything by myself. And I think my parents always treated me as an adult at a really young age, and they instilled independence in me, and they always treated me like I was an adult. So my parents are much older now. My dad is eighty five. My mom is seventy two, and so I think they were out of phase in their life where they were a little bit more grown up. They had figured things out themselves, and they said, this is the way I want a parent. I'm not going to smother you. I'm going to let you be your own person and figure things out. And I think that independence has really gotten me to where I am today. And so when people are like, how do you travel all the time for work, I've like, Oh, I've been traveling since I was a baby, so it's something I'm so used to. I love that I did not know that, and I think it's really interesting. I don't live in my past that much, and you don't strike me as someone who lives in your past a lot, but I do love going backwards to kind of connect the dots with those experiences. And what you just said is a perfect example of how you took that. Have you found sometimes that you speak to people, but we all react to things differently, Like for someone else that going back and forth would have made travel really scary and they would have been like, God, my parents got divorced, like it was the worst and I had to go back and forth where your story is I'm independent and I travel. Do you think you had to reflect or did you do any work to get there or was that just natural for you? Where it was like, I just felt like it was a good thing, because I'm always intrigued as to life happening to us versus us choosing what life does to us. Yeah, I think there's two scenarios here. So I have a friend who is really bad flight anxiety, Like she cannot get on a plane without taking something first, and we talked about it recently and she's like, I think because my parents were divorced, and I thought every time I got on a plane, I was leaving one parent and going to another one. And so she has a really bad time flying now thirty years later because of those experiences. Again, my parents being modern at the time, which is more common now, my parents actually got me a therapist when they were going through divorce. And this is thirty years ago, so you have to think I was six years old and my parents said, Okay, we're going to separate, We're going to give you someone to talk to. And so at the time I could actually process my emotions, not really remembering what was happening, but they were so cautious about how to handle the situation that I think it made me feel like, oh, it's not a bad thing that they're separated. They're doing these things because they love me and they want to be happy people independently. And so the way they handled it then reflected on who I am as an adult today. So I think as I think about one day becoming a parent, all those things from someone being six really does reflect on who they are as an adult. That's incredible. Yeah, so your parents are supermature. Yeah, but you to think then people weren't getting divorced, people were not going to therapy, parents weren't co parenting. There's not even really cell phones at this time, so they were trying to co parent in different continents without Wi Fi, without cell phones. And the fact that they were able to do it, it's like if you live in the same city with someone else, it's definitely possible. If they could do it between countries. Wow, And do you feel that because of the way they handled it, you've continued to have a good relationship with both of them. Yeah, because of how they how did they What were some of the others, Because I think there are so many people today who have parents who got divorced, or a lot of people who actually have parents who never got divorced, but they feel that could have benefited them. And then of course their parents who stayed together, and people are grateful for that. But from your experience, what else. I'm just so intrigued by how incredible your parents are, Like, what else do you think they got right that, despite being in separate countries, you felt like you had a healthy relationship with both For them, they always made sure like no matter what this was the schedule. I spent my summers with my mom in Europe. I would go see her during holiday, she would come back to see me, and so my mom was always planning work trips about coming back to where I was, and so she would make sure she was present at school. Even though she didn't live in the same state as me, she would come to different things, and so that time is really important, and I remember more the days that she was there than she wasn't there. And so now I'm so close to both of them, and they're really like friends to me. Now at this point, it's not really like a parental relationship of anything. I probably parent them a little bit too. Much, but they're just so incredible, And I think hindsight is that they're older and I have the gift of age from them. And I think because they were fully mature adults by the time they got married and had kids, they realized how to be a parent more. I think a lot of times, when you're still trying to figure yourself out in your twenties and thirties, it might be a little bit too early. But I think my mom waited till she was thirty six to have me. My dad was forty nine, and I think they were in a place where they were fully ready to become parents, and I think that really reflected on the way they raised me versus feeling like I have to do this because of my age, which I think a lot of women feel that way now, like oh, I'm thirty, I have to do this thing now, But they don't feel ready because society keeps telling us we have to have kids by a certain age. But I think they waited and that waiting made them better parents to me. Yeah. Wow, So not only were your parents over totherapy, yeah, your dad being the primary cat taker, and then your parents were actually having kids late, which was so not normal. Then yes, So it sounds like they were breaking all the rules. They were doing all the things that I want to do now in life, but a long time ago before it was like normalized. Yeah, tell me one of the ways that you feel your parent your parents now that they're all older, and of course, you know what's been one of the most beautiful ways that you've got to Oh, I turn that I do every I do so much for them now, but it's like such a blessing to be able to do that for them. And so my parents are so grateful for anything if I buy them a flight or book something for them. But now it's like travel, I want to make sure that they're like very comfortable. So it's just making sure that they have everything that they need. So I have a half sister who's older. She lives in Connecticut, so my dad wanted to see them for Thanksgiving. So it's just he's like, oh, thank you so much for this flight, Like he has so much gratitude for a flight that I could book for him. And it's like, if I can work hard to make sure that you can go see your great grandkids, it makes me so happy. Or my mom to be able to go on a trip and do the things that she wants to do. So now they're probably annoyed with me because I'm like, don't do this, don't do this, don't go here, remember this, like wear your face mask. Like I'm telling them all of these things, but I try to do it a little bit less. But they're like my dad even texts me that they're thinking, okay, thanks Mom, Like, so they're cute. I love that. That's so adorable. It's so beautiful. I think for all of us who can support our parents in any way, it is such a blessing. One of the things that you brought up that they really stuck with me was this idea that you want to live your life in the way your parents were living their life back then. Do you feel like you didn't grow up with a lot of limitations in your mindset or boundaries, because I think what you were saying is that a lot of For example, you gave the example that a lot of women feel like, oh, by the time I'm thirty, I should have had kids by now. Well by the time on this, and I think time and society place a lot of these boundaries and barriers. Did you feel more free from them because of how you were parented or did at any point in your life did these become a part of your yeah, education as well. There's a couple of things. So one, my dad grew up really poor. He was born at the end of the Great Depression and grew up my grandpa was a preacher. They had no money, like, very very poor. My dad only could go to college because he joined the Air Force and was able to go on a GI bill. My mom immigrated to the US during the Vietnam War and came to the America with literally nothing. So between the two of their stories, I thought, if they come from nothing, they come from war, they come from the Great Depression, and they could make this life for themselves. I can do anything possible because they've given me this great life that I could have, that anything is possible here. So if I don't live my life to the fullest, it's almost a disservice to the sacrifices that they made for me to be here. My mom is also Vietnamese, so I grew up with a very much a tiger mom who was like, you have to do these things. Go to school, you need to graduate, you need to get a job. But She also taught to meet independence and what she told me was never rely on anyone else for anything. You need to be able to fully support yourself. So if you're in a relationship or a situation, you can walk away and not feel like you have to rely on another person for something, or be in a scenario you don't want to be in because you need this person for this thing. And maybe I took it a little far overly independent in my life. And so growing up, I told my parents I want to be a television host. And then my mom was like, Okay, you need a realistic job, like being on TV is not realistic. So I said, Okay, my backup job is going to be PR. So I went to school for journalism. My backup was PR. I interned in PR in college. It was my first job out of college. I was taking celebrities to interviews and I was like, I still want to be the one interviewing them, like this is I don't want to be behind the camera. I want to be in front of the camera. And so I started working as a TV host and then Instagram and YouTube came around in twenty twelve, and I had a reel and to send my real places. I needed to upload it somewhere, so I uploaded it to YouTube and I had to send the link to places to go on interviews, and so I would send them this link. That was my first YouTube video, and then I had a channel. So I was like, I may as well start uploading makeup tutorials because I have this place. This is very early YouTube days ten years ago. And after two years I was able to do it full time. And I told my parents I'm going to quit to do the internet. And they were like, quit to do the internet? Like what is this? And so even though they support me now, I don't think they gave me. They let me know that all things were possible because of their own stories, but I didn't know at the time that I could make it a career for myself, and they were definitely a little bit skeptical. Now they're like the most supportive people. But at the beginning, you know, it's like internet full time, what is this? Parents always want us to be safe, like parents always want their kids to be safe, but it's almost like the safest thing parents can do is let kids take their own risks. I feel the same with my parents, Like my mom moved to England when she was sixteen, and they built their life. Her brothers were like eighteen and nineteen, and they built a life, Whereas when I was moving to New York at twenty eight, it was like no, no, no, like, are you okay, my baby? I'm like, mom, I'm twenty eight years old. You were sixteen. But they forget that. They forget the pain and the sacrifice and the risk they took on, and they want to shelter you away from it. When you made that decision, were you so convinced that this is right for me, I know it's the thing, or was it hard? Because I feel like when you did that step, it wasn't a thing to be a YouTuber yet, it wasn't a career path that someone could say, I want to be a creator, mom and dad, look at what x y Z are doing. There weren't any role models at that time, and so when you did that, it was even a bigger risk than it is today. But I find so many people who listen to this show today struggle to break out of what their parents think of them. So when your parents, it sounds like you have such a close relationship with your parents, they love you, You love them. Was there a part of you that felt you were letting them down by doing this or did ye never letting them down? I was never worried about letting them down. I think I just had to prove them. So Like my dad is very much like, Okay, go do whatever you want, like this is great. Like he grew up in a time there's not even phone, so like to have a job on the internet seems so insane to him. But my mom is very much like, show me what you can do and then I'll support you. And so I had to show her these opportunities. And I think when I went on my first brand trip and I could bring her on the trip, she was like, oh, you could travel for work, you could go places. I went to Thailand and I took her with me, and she couldn't believe that you could have this job on the internet and create this for yourself. And so I was never worried about disappointing them because I always believed in myself, if I want to do something, I know that it's possible. And now we're in a really great place where you can see people's careers that you want to emulate or you look up too. But at that time there was no one to We were figuring it all out at the same time. And luckily it was very early days of like influencers having like managers and teams, and I happened to get an agency, and I think that helped legitimize it to my family, and then they saw over time like, Okay, you can actually like make money doing this, and here we are a decade later. I love that. That's amazing. Congrats on having the strength at it. I think that's underplayed, like how hard it is when something is brand new to kind of bet on it because you didn't have the you didn't have the benefit of hindsight of how successful this thing was going to be or how big it was going to be, no idea. At the beginning, people were paypaling me fifty dollars to pose something like that's how early it was, and I was like, you would pay me fifty dollars to post something, let's go. I was so excited. Yeah, that's incredible. And when you started doing makeup tutorials and everything was that somehow. And what I love about that story is you set out to be a TV anchor, right like that, that's what you wanted to be. Then you go into pr realized that being behind camera doesn't work. Then you do makeup. Was doing makeup tutorials fulfilling somewhat of a passion of being in front of camera like that. Obviously wasn't being a news anchor, but there was something about it I was feeling, right, Yeah. I always had a passion for sharing things that I loved with an audience, and so at the time, I thought being a TV host was the only way to do this, because I had to be on a show to talk about things that I love to share it with people. When YouTube came around and I'm like, you can upload videos and talk about whatever you want and people can watch it. It was always the things I felt I wanted to do in my heart when I grew up, but when I grew up, there was no platform to do that. And then at the time when I was auditioning, I was going to a lot of shows to be a host, and every time I would get towards the end and they would be like, we're going to give this job to this celebrity, Like this celebrity host is going to do the job, and I'm like, well, how am I ever supposed to be known. If I don't get the opportunity. With the Internet, We're in such an amazing place where we can take our careers into our own hands. There's no one to tell us no. You can create the content and if the audience is there and people want it, they will show up, they will watch, they will download, they will follow, they will listen. And so it was everything I wanted in this new platform, and it finally gave me a place where I wasn't getting told no in an audition, that someone didn't have to say yes to me, and I could prove and show that I had this audience online. And so I love it so much and it was everything I wanted to do. When I grew up, I just didn't know that's what it was. And I always had a love for beauty and my dad used to take me to beauty counters. So growing up with my dad, he didn't know how to do my hair on my makeup. So he would take me to department stores and he would take me to an essay ladder counter and say, Okay, here's my daughter, like, can you show her how to use hair and makeup? Can you show her what products to buy? Because he had no idea what a great and so that really was my love of beauty from a really young age. And so I started learning about beauty from the experts, these people at counters who were telling me about products, and that was in middle school and high school. And then I took that love into creating tutorials for myself and then starting your own brand. That's such a great story, and I'm so glad we're doing this, like background journey, because I feel like I think about this all the time. I went to public speaking school from eleven to seventeens, public being drama school age eleven to eight, age eighteen, sorry for seven years, and I think about it all the time that before I'd even launched my online career, I probably had around like twenty years of public speaking experience before I ever did this professionally or got paid to do it. And I think that when I hear your story of like as a little girl, like going to a beauty counter learning about not just how to put on makeup, but which brands were doing well and why, and then skin tone and color and then maybe looking for gaps in the market, like you get such a real grassroots experience that no one else can get just by looking at what we have today. I feel like I feel like grassroots learning. There's nothing better than Do you feel like there were things then that you were like one day late? Yeah, I think at the time. I remember learning how to contour in high school before it became trendy like years later, And I remember I was at a Mac counter and they were like, this is what like drag queens use on stage. This is where they use in stage makeup. This is called contouring. You use this brush, you use this powder, You put it right here so when you're on stage, your face really stands out. And I can remember this person telling me at a macstore how to do this step and it's something I still do in my makeup every day today. And here we are, like fifteen years later from when they taught me this, and so I loved learning from them, and so it was so great, but you don't know it at the time. And I think in life, every job and every experience, whether you end up doing that job long term or not, you really do learn something from each of those things that pile onto the next job. In high school, I used to work at restaurants. I used to be a hostess at restaurants. And being a hostess, maybe you don't think it's connected to the job I have now, but I had to stand in front of a restaurant, I had to talk to strangers. I stood on my feet for a long time. I had to have conversations with people who were angry waiting for their tables or wanted something really quickly, or making conversation with them walking them to their tables. And now I have no problem networking or meeting new people or going up to people when I see them at events or places because I had these skills that I learned at a really young age of how to talk to anyone in these scenarios. If you feel like you're not living your passion right now, or you're not living your purpose, or you know, we talk about these words a lot, I really want you to go back and look at every job you've ever done and reflect on what you learned there, because I promise you that skill is going to be so useful for your passion and your purpose when it comes along. I was saying to someone my first ever job was I delivered newspapers. But then my second job was I worked at Morrison's, which is our version of like Walmart, or like a grocery store, but a big one. And I remember just stacking shelves and everyone's like, well, what did you learn? Then, I'm like, I learned how to memorize what was in every aisle if anyone asked me where anything was, and knew exactly which isislet was in. I learned how to turn up to work on time and leave on time. And I learned that over time you got paid more. Like you'd learned so many basic things, and what you just said, you learn how to work with different people. I was fifteen years old, and I learned how to have a boss and how to have a good relationship with my boss, and all of these techniques and skills that you would never learn in a textbook, you never learn at school. Wondrium is an amazing educational platform with documentaries, series, lessons, how tows and more covering just about anything you and I can imagine. With one drium you get a huge selection of videos over eight thousand hours, flexibility to switch to audio only create for multitasking, superb quality programs that are expert led, easy to follow, and beautifully filmed, and that are completely accessible. 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My listeners can get two years of one Drum for the price of one a fantastic deal, but it's only available if you sign up through my special U r L. Go to one drem dot com forward slash J. That's w O N d r i UM dot com forward slash J onerem dot com forward slash J. When you are going through this journey, you take this decision to make YouTube videos, to make content, did you ever get wrapped up in like views, how beautiful am my makeup? Because I feel like that can get so toxic for people, And I think now what we're seeing so much of his creator burnout. So there's one side that I want to talk to you about, which is like likes, views, comments, engagement, Like how do you deal with the pressure of that, Like you upload something and it doesn't get views. And the other side is when you actually get good at it and now you're like knocking out videos, you're getting views, everything's going well. But we meet so many creators today who just say I'm tired of putting stuff out, Like I'm burnt out of having to upload every day to three different platforms. I never worried too much about views, and I know that that's a really hard thing to say in a world where our job is valued on followers, views, likes, clicks, and that really is how we're valued. But at the time on YouTube, I started my very first videos with products I used today in my skincare routine, and that's ten years ago. Because I genuinely loved these products. I was shopping at Sephorah. I love Prestige beauty. I was a little bit older in the YouTube age. A lot of the people were in either high school or they were very young, and what they were sharing was not genuinely the products that I loved, and so I could have fall into this trap of I care about virality, I care about what's trending, and I'm going to use these products, but it wasn't genuine to who I was. So I had a slower growth, and I said, I love these brands and these products. I'm going to create videos around this content, and I'm not going to be the fastest growing. And that's okay because it's true to who I am. And so if I thought about the longevity of my career, it was more important to me to create content that I genuinely liked and products that I genuinely loved, versus chasing views because virality, maybe people will click on it and watch it because they care about this trending product or this theme, but they're not getting to know you and it was more important for me to people to like me for what I genuinely wanted to talk about, because I can't really create content if I don't love it, and I just won't do it. It's just not something that I like. And I think that was a problem I had when TikTok first started, was I didn't want to create content just for the sake of virality, and so on YouTube, I grew a little bit slower, but I started working with luxury beauty brands and at the very beginning, they weren't really spending money with people, but they saw like, there's only a handful of girls on YouTube who are creating content around Armani Beauty and Laura Mercia and these kind of brands, and then I ended up getting to work with them because there wasn't a lot of people sharing it. And so I started working with Sephora at that time and creating videos for their brand pages because they wanted an organic type of video that wasn't a sponsored brand video. And so it was a slower growth for me, but I think it's helped me be where I am today, because what you don't want to do is create content that's just for the sake of being viral, and then well what happens. Then I have a friend who she used to be an editor and she left and she's creating content full time now. And there's this trend of people kind of taking like editorial, beauty news content and regurgitating it into TikTok's. But then you're just retelling a news story and there's nothing personal about it with you, and sure people are going to watch it. It might get millions of views, but you're not really building your personal audience. And so now that we've created more things for ourselves, I'm so happy that I always kind of stay true to the kind of content I wanted to create, because if not, then you're always going to be in this hamster wheel of creating things for the views, and you're never going to really feel satisfied by that. It is frustrating when something doesn't perform well and you want it to do well, and like it is our job, and like you know, brands work with us because they want a certain reach or number, and so that stuff is important and that will come if you create the content that your followers really want to see from you. And then I think, you know, there's been phases of burnout for me because being a creator, there's no job security, there's no hour, there's no health benefits, we have no teams a lot of times, and so it is the scarce any mentality of every time a job comes in, you want to say yes to it because you don't know when the next thing is coming, and so you want to do all the things that you can. But I think in time I learned I have to take a step back and not say yes to everything because it's better for myself long term and the things will come and it's but I know it's difficult, especially if you're just starting out, because you are really based and judged on a number. Yeah, I think that's so refreshing to hear that from you, Like I hope that there's so many people listening to this right now that are going, Mariana, thank you so much for saying that, because I think everyone feels that pressure. But you just explain something really beautifully that you can have a lot of views, but people are not necessarily watching it for you or understanding who you are. And therefore every video you post can get lots of views, but it's not like people are really interested in your viewpoint or your perspective or your thoughts, and I think we get those two things mixed up. We think that virality and followers means influence, and actually it doesn't mean influence at all, because if people only see you as entertainment, they're not going to suddenly listen to your perspective on something you should buy or something you should use your expert opinion. And so that's what I'm hearing from you, and I hope that gives people a lot of confidence because I think it's very easy to chase the views. I know there's someone I'm thinking about right now who makes amazing content and it doesn't get a lot of views, but it's built him a really good business and he's trying to get more views and virality, and I'm like, no, Like this is building real value because your content so awesome. You're actually attracting real companies who want to work with you privately because of the value that they see. And that's what your journey says too. When it gets to burnout and everything you just mentioned about no benefits, no work hours, like that's so I think burnout comes from doing too much of what you feel is true to your core. It doesn't come from doing too much. What is very aligned with you. Would you agree with that or oh, yes and no, because I think there is a balance of having time off and so yes, we want to do all of these things, and we want to work really hard and create this life for ourselves. But I cannot do those things I need to do if I don't also take time to rest. And one weekend, I used to always like work through the weekends. I'm like, Oh, it doesn't really bother me. If I answer emails on the weekend, it's not a big deal. But then one weekend I actually took that weekend off and didn't answer my emails, and Monday I felt so much better and more refreshed. And so now it's really important for me to take those breaks. So I did go through periods of burnout of over creating and going to too many things. And in college I had a stomach alcer because I took on too much, and I physically was burnt out in my body because I was doing too much. And so I know that I need those periods of rest. But I know it's hard when you're freelance. I know it's hard when you're a creator, and there's so many jobs who are freelance who don't have you know, certain hour set for themselves, so it is important for them to, you know, want to make an income, especially if you're solely supporting yourself or a family, And so I know those things are difficulty. You've talked about energy drains and energy gives before. Walk us through that, because I think everyone feels that, whether it's people, places, projects, we all feel that certain people drain us, certain projects give us energy. Walk us through your version of that. Yeah, my energy drainers are saying yes to too many things. So saying no to me is what gives me energy. And I know that saying no might seem difficult at first, especially when you have opportunities that come to you and you want to say yes to everything. But saying yes to things I absolutely want to do has been so helpful. I am in a place now where I can say no because I feel like I worked hard in my twenties to get to where I am today that I have the ability to say no to things. But those nos also are important because it's gotten me to the jobs I want to do, the brands I want to work with. I think if you say yes to too many things, you might dilute yourself doing too many things. So saying yes to the things that are in alignment with the content you want to create, the brands you want to work with, the long term goals, so you have for yourself personally and professionally. Other energy drainers that I have are not doing my morning routine, in my evening routine, So really setting myself up for the day sets me up for success. I get up in the morning, I usually meditate a gratitude journal, I do like a little stretch, I drink my water, and even like just a few things in the morning set me up because if I wake up and I just instantly start doing things, there's no time for me, just like in myself, to turn off, and then I'm kind of just thinking all day long. Other energy drainers, sometimes it's work and people. And I know that that one's a really difficult one to have boundaries around because you maybe cannot control who you have to be around with work or people that you have to spend your time with. So it's creating boundaries around those people and things to make you feel your best. So maybe it's at work you don't sit next to that person or you, you know, focus on working on yourself when you're at work so you don't have to be near them too much. Because I know that we can't always like eliminate energy drainers in our life, and if it's someone in our life personally, it's difficult. But as I've gotten older, I realize, Okay, this person and this friend is draining my energy. When I'm around them, I don't feel great. I don't feel better after I left them. I almost feel more drained just being around them. And so I can love you from a distance. I still love you, I still like you, but I don't have to spend a lot of time with you, and that's okay. I can support you from afar, but I know that if I'm around you, I don't feel my best. And I want more of those energy givers in my life, like who do I hang out with? And I feel better after I leave them? Like who makes me feel happier and whole, motivated, energized. And I always love being around you because whenever I see you, you make us feel so great. You're such a great friend. Our friend Audrey is another one of them. Yeah, you guys are not giving to my mind. With Audrey, I like Audrey. We love you Audrey, and she really is one of those people where you want to be around people who are good like that. You want people who make you feel your best. And so as I've gotten older, it's less about quantity of friends, it's quality of friends. And I choose to spend time with the people in my life who give me energy and make me feel my best. Because if you've noticed that after you leave a friend and maybe you're a little bit tired or drained, or you're just like whoa when you left them, like, it's okay to start like phasing out people and love them from afar. Yeah, I couldn't agree more with that. I saw this tweet that said my circle is shrunk in size but increased in value, And I think that that's the mindset that you're sharing them. I think that's something people struggle with. I think we feel guilty because we feel like we're leaving friends behind, or we feel bad because we feel people are going to think we're better than them. Like when you move on from a group, you're often worried about the perception that those group of people are going to think or Jay or Mariana think that they're better, and it's like, well, you're not leaving because you think you're better. You're leaving because you want to be better and you want to grow. How have you kind of outgrown groups or do you feel you've generally had a group that's grown with you, but or have you had to let go of Yeah, friendships, relationships and things. I have a core like five people who have been with me for like over a decade, so that these are constants in my life. Like Audrey, we met in two thousand and six, so that's like sixteen years ago, so we're friends for a very long time. So it's like I had this core group of people who are very core to who I am. They know me in my personal life. This is who I want to spend my time with. Like it's not about content or online or anything. It's just like who do I want to sit on my couch with, like scroll on my phone or watch TV or just hang out with. And those people are really important to me. I have a lot of acquaintances and people that we know just from work and being around people, and I just know, like I don't have to be overly close with a lot of people, and that's okay. And I think a lesson that I learned now in my thirties was that a smaller circle is fine. In my twenties, I think, you move to Los Angeles, you want to make all these friends, you want to be around all these people, and then I'm like, wait, I don't feel great when I'm around them. I don't feel like myself. I feel like I'm trying to have to be someone i'm not or proved to them that I'm something. And I don't want to do those things, Like I want to be truly who I am authentically. And as I got into my thirties, I realize it's okay that my circle is smaller, Like it's okay to have these people who I know love me and are there for me no matter what, and then everyone else is a bonus. Yeah. Absolutely, And I love that you did that. Like I think if we started seeing our relationships as degrees of connection as opposed to like friends and not friends, yeah, it becomes a lot easier to know how much time and how much energy to give someone When you decide to make that transition from creating content for amazing brands prestige brands, and you're making the switch to being like, I'm going to be a founder. I'm going to create sum of Fridays. When you're making that transition, walk us through some of the things you thought about, because today I find that everyone feels the pressure now, just as we felt the pressure when we were growing up to work at a big company or a well known organization. Today the pressure is everyone should be an entrepreneur and found their own company. I feel like that's kind of like the energy and everyone thinks like they have to launch something or whatever. When you're going from selling other people's things to saying I'm actually becoming a founder, what are the questions you think people should be asking. What are the insights they should be considering, Because I think it's very easy for everyone today to think, oh, i've got a few followers, I should launch something, or because I'm connected, I should do this, And I don't think that that always works out. Obviously it's worked out for you, So I'm wondering what were the things you had to think about. I think if I had to go back and tell myself when we started the brand, what do I wish that I knew, and I wish that somebody would have asked me, which it's all the things that I love now, but like, do you really want to run a company? Like the days that we launch a product, Let's say we launch fry products a year, that's five of three sixty five, So the other three hundred and sixty days you really want to work on a business? Do you really want to work on a company? Do you want to be a manager of people? Do you want to run the finances and operations? Like it's all of those not fun things that you do every day. And so I would just ask yourself before starting a business, like do I really want a business because I love running a company? Or do I just want to say I have my own company? And that's fine if you don't love some of the other stuff. And so Lauren, who's my co founder of Summer Fridays, we have no ego in saying there's things we either don't want to do or we don't know how to do. And once we grew a little bit after our first couple of years, we were able to hire for the things that we didn't know how to do because we really wanted to bring the best people in to run the business who we felt like could get us to the next level. I think it's difficult when you're starting a business because running a company is actually just so difficult. The day and day out of production of the company, of the items, like selling the things, getting them online. Those things are not the sexy fun parts of the job, and you have to really want to do that because at the very beginning, you have very small teams. It's basically yourself, maybe a couple other people, and you're not making a lot of money for the first few years. I think there may be a misconception of like, oh, you start a brand and then all of a sudden, you're rich and you have all this money, and that's definitely not the case. It takes a long time because whatever you invested into the business and you sell stuff, you're just recouping your money for what you've already invested. And then as you grow, you make a little bit of money, you put it back into the business. You hire a person, and then you hire someone else. And so the first few years of summer Fridays, we didn't pay ourselves because we thought it was more important to invest back into the company. So if you're thinking about starting a business as yourself, Do I actually want to run a company? And if you do, great. If you don't, then maybe say, like what am I good at? Like what am I passionate about? What do I love so much? Why do I maybe want to start a company? Is it because you love the creative? There's so many creative jobs. You could be a creative director, you could work at an ad agency, you could consult for brands. If you love creating product, maybe you help someone with product development. There's so many skills that we learn as creators. Find what you love best and then offer that as a service to other brands. So something I love is like branding and marketing, and I think in life this is just one of the first things that I will do, of many, and I hope in the future I can consult for brands and work for them on branding and marketing because that's something I'm passionate about. So I would love to continue to do that over a portfolio of them. And I know, like the actual starting of the business is difficult, so I don't know how many more times I could do that part of it. Now that we're here, I'm so grateful but I just wish I would have known going into it how hard the actual starting of the business and running of the business data day is. Think about the way your team works right now. 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To see my top three reasons why you should try online therapy, visit better Help dot Com forward slash Jay's top three That's better HLP dot com forward slash Jay's top three, and get ten percent off your first month of online therapy when you sign up. It's just a great way to look at it because often you end up starting something, you put a lot into it, and then you realize it's not what you wanted, Like you didn't want your ninety percent of your life to be operations strategy management HR. And people don't realize that. Often when we see entrepreneurs living their greatest life, we look at it and we go, oh, they just do what they love all day, and it's not true. Right me included, I there are so many things I have to do, and there are so many things I want to do, and I've accepted that that's how my life is split up. And there's also knowing what to start. Like when I look at my career, there are things like this podcast that we started, my Genius community that we started. But then there were amazing partnerships like me being chief Purpose Officer at Calm, which was just a brilliant synergy because I was friends with the founders for four years. They were already solving a problem that I deeply believed in, and I would rather join forces than go and build something to compete with my friends. Well, it's already an existing, incredible platform. So it's like if I can plug into what you already have created and I can make it even better by coming on board, we can make this really great instead of me having something that I'm trying to build and takes time. And so I think you can think about, like what are you uniquely good at? What skills can I offer someone else? And go work with a company, go consult for people, and then see from there. Maybe I do want to start my own thing, or I can do this with other people. And so if there's a brand you love, maybe reach out to them, like let me create a director shoot for you, Like let me help you with social and you never know what person will say yes. Because as creators, I think we wear so many hats and we can be good at so many things, and you can take what you love as a creator and then do that on a larger scale with more budget, working for brands and people that you love. Exactly did you ever raise or did you choose not to? We raise money, so we ended up we'll geus through the choice of that and then that processes, so Summer Fridays was self funded and then we ended up raising money in twenty nineteen. So we had a really great first year, but we were running everything ourselves. We had the two of us, an employee, a couple consultants, and we were on the sales calls, we were running our retail accounts. But we really didn't know best how to do these things, and it was almost a disservice to ourselves by trying to figure it out ourselves. Like we got us to a really great point, but we saw we have a best seller, it's working really well. What can we do to take our brand to the next level and not lose the momentum that we had. So when we first launched a brand, people started reaching out to us, and raising money is a bit like dating, so you want to date and meet everyone, and we met any and everyone, and then you kind of see, like who do you like? Who do you enjoy spending time with? Like do I really want to talk to these people every day? And a business is like a marriage, and there's a contract like sometimes in marriages there are, and so you're getting into a marriage with now another person into your business, so you have to ask yourselves, like are these people trustworthy? Do we have the same end goal? Do I really trust that they want what's best for my brand and that if I really want something, they're going to listen to what I want and not because they're an invest and they're going to take control of something. And so we ended up going with a group and they have a minority investment, which is very small, so it means like we still own the majority of the business, so we have the majority of the sad things. But it was two females who founded it and they're incredible and they almost served like an intermediate president for us and helped us with hiring our org, chart what things to do next, and it really was the right fit for us and they weren't the biggest place that we went out to, They didn't have the largest portfolio with the biggest investment they were making into the brand. But it was two people we trusted and a lot of our friends are like, you're the only people we know that like your investors, and we really do. And they're incredible. So they have a great portfolio brands including like Westman, Attilier, Soul Dejanniro. In food, they have fly By Jing and Bonza Pasta. So they focused in like good for you brands in food and beauty, and so we are so grateful to have them. So then after that, after we raise a little bit of money, we were able to hire more people and our first big hire was a CEO. And I know a lot of people when they start a business, like they have a dream of becoming a CEO and running a brand, and that was never what Lauren and I wanted for ourselves. And we have no ego in saying like I don't want to be the CEO, like I don't want to run the entire business because one, I've never done this before, and that's fine if you haven't and you want to figure it out along the way. But we knew like what we're good at as product development, marketing, branding, anything that's consumer facing. And bringing on someone who could really run the business day to day so that I can create content, I can be on podcasts, like I can do the other things with my time was important to us. And someone whose values really aligned with the things that we wanted. So a company culture is really important to us. And as we interviewed for the CEO role, it was someone who led with kindness, who people were excited to work for. And so we ended up bringing on a CEO in twenty twenty, right before the pandemic, and so grateful for our CEO, and so between them, it's been really incredible to get the brand where it is today. And I don't think it's possible without them. And so I think you are if you have a business and you're thinking about either partners or raising money, you really want to make sure that you want this people to be in your marriage with you and that your baby, which is your business. You guys all have the same goals aligned for where you want it to go, because then all the decisions are easier because you're all on the same page versus a group wanting one thing, and then another group wanting something else. It just sounds like you really know what's important to you, and you're willing to do what's important to you and what you're good at and what you value, and then there's all this other stuff that you realize where we have to find someone for that. We have to figure this out, This needs to be shifted. How do you decipher between what's important to you and what you think is important? Because I think a lot of people, again, when they start something, they put the pressure of I have to be CEO because it's my baby, and if I'm not CEO, then someone else will think I'm just this or I'm just that. You don't strike me as someone who worries about what other people think of you or what you do. Where does that come from? And how do you define or decide what's important to you. I live my life day to day me myself. I'm not living my life for other people. So if I'm so concerned with being called CEO, I'm going to take on a role because care the other people think that this is my title. But I have to do something every day that I don't enjoy. That makes no sense. So Why would I live my life for this title for other people's opinions when this is what I want to do within the business, and this is what's important to me. And so I like to take inventory of my life pretty frequently. So I usually do like my New Year's goals and intentions. I like to call them intentions not goals, because it's what I intend on doing for the year. And then I'm always checking in myself with like my journal every day. So it's like what's important to me? How do I want to feel today? What things do I love? And so I'll go through and I'll make like a note on my phone of like what are my energy drainers right now? Like what do I not like doing? What of these things can I eliminate? And if it's running the finances of the business, like I don't want to do that, So who can we hire eventually to do this thing? And so it's eventually just like taking less of those drainers off of my plate and so I can really focus my time on the things that I'm good at and I enjoy doing. I think it's difficult for people, especially women, if you have been calling yourself a CEO in the company, then you have to make this announcement like, oh, I step down a CEO because we hired somebody. We never intended to be the CEOs of the business, so we didn't call ourselves that in the first place. So if and when the time came, we weren't like it wasn't that we were stepping down to CEOs, was that we just never had CEOs. We started the company, and a CEO as somebody who can help run the business when it gets to that phase. And so I think it's about taking your ego out of it and like, what do you really want to spend your time doing every day and just focus on that and not what other people think about what Most people probably don't even know what people's titles are anyway. It's like whether you're the founder or the CEO or the whatever it is you are, most people don't know. They just think of it as your business and so don't so much worry about that, Or you're going to spend your time every day doing something you don't actually want to do and you're not going to be happy, and then the business might suffer because of that. Yeah, you've talked so much about habits and routines, like you have a morning routine, an evening routine. You just talked about your journaling habit, your intentions for with these things that became a part of your life over time, and if you could walk us through one of them or a couple of them in depth of your actual practice. So I'd love to hear about what is your person meditation practice, and then anyone other one that you pick that just woke us through it, because I think we see this in successful ceo, successful founders, entrepreneurs, and just happier, healthier people that routine and a commitment to practices are really beneficial in their life. What are some of yours that you can woke us through with a bit more? Yea yeah. So on the podcast, I kept interviewing people and everyone talked about a morning routine and meditation, and I'm like, if all of these really successful people that I admire do this, there's got to be something to it. So pre pandemic, I was just waking up, working, going to sleep, working on the weekends. I had no routine in schedule. That was not great for me. But during the pandemic, I actually had time for myself to pick up a meditation habit to figure out how to journal, to make a morning routine for myself. So I started doing a morning routine because I thought other people were doing it, and I think that's where I failed at first, because I'm like, oh, these people do these things in their morning routine. I need to wake up and work out. I need to wake up and do this. But those things didn't work for me. So it was trying something for a week, do I better yes or no? What things should I eliminate and what things should I keep? And I got it to a routine of the things that feel best for me. Those five things might not work for you, but it's the things that work best for me, and so it's trial and error figuring out how can I set myself out best for the day. Basically, once I start working in the day, my mind is going at all times, and I am always someone who's thinking of fifty different things. And so meditation is the only time in my day where I'm actually just sitting and being and thinking of either the meditation that's happening if it's guided, or I do like a thirteen to twenty meditation where there's no music, there's no guiding i just have like a bell that goes and I'm just sitting and breathing, and I'm never in stillness all day. I'm on my phone, the computer, and so having that time for myself really just is like a great way to start the day. And then another thing is the intentions. And I mentioned before I like to call them intentions instead of goals because I think we might feel like we didn't meet our goals if we didn't do this thing that we set out on a piece of paper to cross off. But if it's my intention to do my morning routine every day, I'm intending to do it. But if I don't feel like a failure because I only did it five days this week, Or if I intend to live a healthier life and eat well and work out because I want to fuel my body, that's my intention instead of being like, oh, I have to be this weight, or I want to do this thing or be at this goal. I think it's a lot kinder with yourself, so then you feel more motivated by actually doing them and checking them off versus I didn't complete this goal for myself. I think it's also great to set actual tangible goals you can do, but also know that some goals are out of our control. So if you want to hit a certain number follower or a subscriber or a download count, you cannot control that. You can create the best content you can, but you can't make someone watch the content. You can't make them download or follow. So what you don't want to do is say like I have to hit a million followers by the end of the year, and if you don't hit it, be upset. You can say I intend to create the best community this year that I can. I want the followers that are there to love me and be happy with the content I create, And then you can ask yourself are they happy? Am I fulfilled with the content I'm creating? And then that intention can be crossed off versus being disappointed that you didn't hit this number that was out of your control to begin with. So those intentions are really important for me. And then within the business, we do set goals for ourselves of things that we want to do, and then set realistic expectations for ourselves of like what do we think we actually can do versus like insaying goals that you might not get to and then always feeling sad if if you're not hitting them. I love the way you just describe the difference between intentions and goals. I hope everyone because you know, whenever you're setting news resolutions or setting goals, you're setting new quarterly goals. Like that language needs to change because goals what you want out of something, and intentions of what you put into something, and you only get out what you put in. And I love that. It's so much better to measure yourself against your intentions. Measuring yourself against your goals will always make you feel like a failure. Yeah, And I think something I've learned recently too is I can have goals and intentions for myself the things that I'm working towards because I want great things in life. Like I'm doing all the things I want because I have these big things that I think I can accomplish. But I can do that while still being present and happy with where I am today. And that's come from really being in my thirties. So before I was always you know, when you're younger, you're like, I have to be married and have kids by thirty. I have to do this, like Forbes thirty under thirty, I have to do all these things by this age. But it's like, why when life is long? And one of the best exercises I did for myself was I wrote down everything I wanted to accomplish in my life and the age I thought it might happen. When I got to forty five, I had nothing left there was, I had nothing left to reach. And I'm like, if I accomplish all these things by forty five, I'm going to live for decades longer. What more do I have to look forward to in the years to come? That gave me so much pause to enjoy the journey I'm on. Enjoy where I'm at today, Be happy because these things we have today, the things we get to do, the jobs we get to do, the brands we get to work with, the opportunities we have, We wished for the things we have now. So I don't want to rush through them just trying to get to where I'm trying to go. I want to be happy where I am today. I know it's going to come in time, and if it's a little bit later than I thought, it's fine because I have so many more years left of my life to do all these things that I hope to accomplish. Yeah, that's such a great exercise that if you did write down everything you wanted to do, most people would put the end date as like thirty or forty years forty five, and it's like, you should have achieved everything in life so much longer than that, and there's so many more gaps in between. I had a friend who recently found love and his business and his work took a bit of a back burner, but he found someone that he really wants to spend a lot of time with him. That's what he was doing. And I was saying, you just won, right, like you could see that as like two years out in your business journey, and so now his business is two years behind. But I was like, you've just saved yourself years because you found a partner that you're really connected to. And I think often we think of it as like they're separate, like there's work and then there's life, and it's like, well, no, no, no, there's so inter related. The way you just share that is spectacular. Like I hope everyone writes that down takes that away. VERA, what are you working on right now? I feel like you're someone who because you start therapy at six, which is just like that, that's another incredible thing. But like, what are you working on right now personally, what's something that you're grappling with, What's something that you're wanting to be better at for yourself, for your friends, your family, whatever, anything around you. I think the presence is a big thing for me. I think because I used to focus so much on the future and the things I wanted for themselves. That exercise really did change my mindset. So having a gratitude journal and writing down every day. I think a lot of times we're busy in our days in our career, it's like, oh, I have to go do this, I have to do this today. But it's not I have to do it's I get to do so I get to go work here, I get to go to this opportunity, instead of I have to do these things. And that really changed my mindset of being grateful for what I get to do every single day and really focusing on that and not being so stressed about things happening in a certain year or age. I'm thirty six now, and I keep feeling like, oh, I'm still not ready to do all these things, like I'm still so young. I think the older I get the younger, I still feel where when I was in my twenties, I was like, oh, I'm getting so older, Like, oh, thirty six is so old. But now that I'm thirty six, so I'm like, it's still so young. So I think focusing on the present, being happy with where I am today, the things I have today, and practicing that gratitude each and every day. And then I think, as I've gotten older too, because my parents are older, taking care of my health. It's not about vanity, It's about how do I feel my best, how do I stay active. My parents are really young and smart in their minds and their bodies. They still travel by themselves. They're very independent people, and I think it's because they've taken care of themselves. And my dad does the cross word every day, he reads books. My mom's very independent. I think keeping your mind young and so doing things for brain health. Now that we're getting older, I'm like, okay, vrain health, higher health, mobility, those things are all important of taking care of yourself, not just for Vanity's sake, but for the health of yourself so that you can be your best self in decades to come. Because I hope when I'm sixty seventy eighty ninety. I'm still able to do a lot of things that I don't feel stagnant in my body because I let my age catch up with me. I'm in the same boat as you. I feel like your thirties are really for that, where like your twenties you still feel like a super person. And then in your thirties you're like, oh, wait a minute, there is something known as getting older physically, I mean, and you start just becoming aware of how much your body has been through because you could, and then you go, why would I want to put my body through that anymore? Like why would I do that damage to my body? And I'm definitely with you on that. I'm spending so much time reading about longevity and learning about longevity and because not because I want to live longer or for vanity, but I want to live healthier for longer. And I think that's the difference, right, Yeah. I think health is so important to us and taking care of ourselves, what we eat, what we put into our bodies, how we spend our time, our brain, our energy, all of these things, because we do want to have lower cortisol levels for the rest of our lives and have quality sleep so that our brain health is there, so that we feel best in our mind to function every single day. And so I do want to live a long, healthy, youthful, smart life where I can do so many things for decades to come, and so those things are so important to me. So it's like watching documentaries around blue zones and like what are they doing here and how do they live longer, healthier, happier lives, And so those things are so important, especially our health, because we know, like when you don't feel good, there's nothing you can do about it. So it's like the second I got sick recently and like as soon as I was done, I was like, wow, I'm so grateful for my body. I'm so grateful for my immune system and my good health, because when you feel bad, you take for granted the days that you feel good. So it's really about thinking about your gratitude each day of feeling good in your body and the days that you feel good. So one of the things I write down in my journal is I am grateful for my body and mind and soul. I'm happy for my physical and mental health and happiness because that's so important to me. Because it's not just like my physical health, but like, how do I feel in my mind? Do I feel happy? And you know, on the days when you don't feel so happy, you have so much gratitude for the days that you do feel good mentally absolutely absolutely, And I feel like you're high performer, you're massively ambitious, you're like optimal peak performance individual, and I can relate to them. What that comes with is you naturally have higher quarters our levels because you're doing more stressful things. Right Like when Kobe Bryant's playing in the final of a game, it's like he's having to deal with more stress and then perform but then recover as fast, right, And that's all the best athletes. The World Cup's going on right now, and it's the same thing. All the best soccer players in the world are dealing with more stress. It's not that they don't feel stress when they play at that high level. So what are some of the things. I mean, you've given us so many habits, But that's just something because it's on my mind too. I'm thinking that if I and I'm speaking to anyone who's listening who thinks they're really ambitious, they're big goals or big intentions. But then at the same time, then you have to be even more on top of your quarters our levels because you're naturally going to experience more stress. Yeah, this morning, I was talking to someone and she was like, what workouts are you doing? I was like, I love Plate's. Like I don't want to go into a workout where I feel more stressed going through it, because I want something that makes me feel good and rested. I always wear my or a ring, which I'm obsessed it. I love it, and I track my sleep every night and like quality sleep really does make me feel my best the next day. I drink magnesium every night before I go to bed, taking like my vitamins and supplements. And then really not like I don't watch scary movies, Like I'm not doing things that are gonna make me feel more excited or like feelings that would make me feel more anxious. So anything that's going to make me feel more anxious, because I already have to feel anxious and stressed in like my job, so I don't want these added like books or shows that are going to make me feel a little bit more stressed out. And then I'm someone who it physically manifests in my body. And so one day I was really stressed out. I was at the airport. I missed my flight. I was so stressed because I had to get back for something. The next day there was no flights out, and instead of just relaxing and like taking a breath, I woke up the next day I had a rash on my body because when I get stressed, So I have to remember, like, Okay, I can't get stressed out about things I can't control. I need to take a breath or else it's gonna physically show up in my body when I'm like overly stressed about something, especially something like that I made at home. It was fine, it was all good, but I stressed myself out for no reason. So it's like doing all these things that can control because stress is going to happen in our lives. We're going to have stressful days. Things are out of our control, our job, our personal life. Those things will make us stressed out. So it's like, how can I control all of the other things in my day to feel my best. Yeah, I love your insight on if you get to have a stressful day anyway, you don't want your workout or your meditation to be the thing that stresses you more. Marianna. I've learned so much about you today, literally you have. I'm so happy I got to do this with you, and I recommend anyone who's listening or watching please do this with your friends, because when you interview a friend, or you interview a parent, or you interview a family member, you realize just how much life experience is stored within this human that you know you call a friend or a family member. You know this very well, Marianna. We end every interview with the final five. These are the fast five, where you have to answer each question in one word to one sentence maximum. But before we do that, I want to ask you did I ask Was there something I didn't ask you that you wish I asked you, or something you wanted to share that's on your heart that you want to let you feel We didn't touch your part. I think all good. I think I just this is like a love note to you, But like I love your content and it makes me feel so good. And what I want to put out in the world is content that makes people feel either motivated or inspired or something in their life that adds value and I feel like I always get that from you, and so thank you for your content because it makes me feel that way. And that's the things that I want to consume every day, Like did I take away something that made me feel better or inspired or motivated? And I feel like you always bring that out of your guests, so sweet and honestly, like you've given us such a unique perspective. And this is why I wanted to talk to you, because I find you to be not only are you a successful business person, but you're committed to your self care. And I think that those two things together are really inspiring to me. And that's the kind of energy I want my audience to feel. That you can be successful and do self care. You can be ambitious and affection and kind, like you can be courageous but be really sweet, and I see that all in you, and I really I love people who can blend these opposites, because I think for too long people have been made to believe, well, if you're bold and brave, then you're strong, or you're weak and meek, And I'm like, well no, there's this beautiful harmony in between. And so that's my love note back to you. As well. I love that. I'm going to start saying that I like that, but these are your final five. The first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received. Don't be afraid of being told now, so just asking people for something. If they say no, don't be offended. But you never know who's going to say yes. That's a great piece of advice. We've never had that. That is very good, and I do that a lot, so I'm with you, okay. Second question, what is the worst piece of advice you've ever heard or received? The worst piece of advice was people told us when we launched Summer Fridays not to launch with jetlag mask, and so I think that was in our gut and intuition the product we wanted to launch the brand with. I don't know if it would be what it is today without that. So if you have a gut feeling about something you want to do personally or professionally, even if the experts tell you something else, go with what you feel is best in your gut. I love that. That's and I love that example for that as well, because it's usually the thing I remember. I've never done a lot of brand partnerships or brand deals because my content was always so open and wide that it didn't really there weren't really industries that crossed over as much in the beginning. And I remember one brand reached out to me and they said, Jay, we want you to do this video. They didn't give me an idea, they just gave me a vision of like we wanted to be about people living life on their own terms. Like that's the spirit of the video. And I was like, I love that. I can totally vibe with that. And I can't even remember I had some like made up fee at the time, like these very early days. I was like whatever, it wasn't that much, and I went and made this video and I put my heart and soul into it because it was like one of my first brand deals, and it was even though the brand deal was tiny, it was just so important to me that I got to make this piece of content and I shared it with them and they were like, Jay, we don't Yeah, this is not going to work. And I was like, I put so I put more money into the production than they were paying me. But I was so passionate about and they're like, yeah, it's not gonna work. I didn't have a contract, I wasn't tuned into what I needed. They said, no, we don't want this, we don't think you're the right fit for this. I uploaded the video anyway because I really liked it. To this day, it's my most watched video. It's got three hundred and eighty seven million views, like it's on faceboe. It is one of my biggest videos of all time. And I love the video. It's it's awesome. But they didn't get it. And that's the video that changed my entire career. And I'm really happy that there's no brand attached to it because it's true and real and yeah yeah, but really it's like going with your gut, like you know what's going to work best totally, and so even if these experts tell you it's the wrong thing or don't do this, but you know this is what you want to create, put it out into the world, because look, your most watched video are best selling. Yeah, which, And I love those examples because I think we do listen to the experts, and so love that, love that, love that. Question Number three, what's something that you used to value that you don't value as much anymore? Social a bit, which is weird because it's also our jobs. But I think I used to value what it was on there so much and now I understand it's a tool to do my job. It's not my entire identity, and so I have a really good relationship I think with it. Now. What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last twelve months. I would say just taking care of my health is really the most important. Like there's no amount of money or anything in the world that you can do, Like, your health is the most important thing you can take care of. Things will come, So do everything you can and your control to be your best self and feel your best because that way, if something were to come, you are in your best shape that you can be. Yeah. Absolutely couldn't agree more. Very true for my year this year too, So I definitely take that to fifth and final question. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Oh, one law. It's kind of a little bit we talked about earlier of like saying yes or no to things. So if you want to say yes to something, it should be an absolute, full body yes, I really want to do this. If you feel any hesitation or any no. There might be something in your gut and intuition telling you why I want to say no to this or why I don't want to do this, and then you end up saying yes and you don't really want to do it anyway. So say yes to the things you feel full body yes too, and say no to the things that you don't feel absolutely truly like aligns with you and your gut and your intuition. That's great, Marianna. Here everyone, the podcast is called Life with Marianna. You know the brand Summer Fridays makes you go subscribe to the podcast. Do follow Marianna on Instagram on all social media platforms that you use, and please, the biggest thing I want you to do is tag what you learn from this episode. So take a screenshot right now, tag me in Marianna both on TikTok, on Instagram, Twitter, whatever platform you're using, and let us know what you learned, what you're going to try out, what you're testing for a week, what habit really stayed with you, a new journal question that you might have gained. I love knowing the insights that you actually apply to your life, and that's what I want next year to be about the next twelve months of your life. Whenever you're listening to this is not how much can you learn, not how much can you grow, not how much pressure you put on yourself, but how much can you apply? And I think in Marianna's journey, I see a lot of applied wisdom. And I think applied wisdom has so much more value than knowledge or books read or episodes listened to, and so focus on application. Marianna, You've been so wonderful, has always. It's been such a joy having you on. I hope we have you on again and keep tracking this incredible journey that you're on. And thank you for giving us permission to live long, healthy, successful lives that don't have to end by forty or forty five. There's so much life to live. Thank you for Thanks Maria. If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Charles do Hig on how to hack your brain, change Jenny habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions.