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I couldn't be more excited to share something truly special with all you tea lovers out there. And even if you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling sodas that are good for you, listen to this Radi and I poured our hearts into creating Juny sparkling tea with adaptogens for you because we believe in nurturing your body and with every sip you'll experience calmness of mind, a refreshing vitality, and a burst of brightness to your day. Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances that act like superheroes for your body to help you adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life. Our superfive blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, Ushwa, Ganda, acirolla cherry, and Lion's made mushroom and these may help boost your metabolism, give you a natural kick of caffeine, combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain function. Even better, you has zero sugar and only five calories per can. We believe in nurturing and energizing your body while enjoying a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So visit Drinkjuni dot com today to elevate your wellness journey and use code on Purpose to receive fifteen percent of your first order. That's drink Juni dot com and make sure you use the code on purpose.

I grew up in a world where it's so competitive. Even if I'm not the most talented, I'm the hardest worker until you're burnt out and you don't have anything else to give, And then what But I'm trying to talk to you about a job opportunity? Do I look an employed to you?

I grew up in a world where it's so competitive. Even if I'm not the most talented, I'm the hardest worker until you're burnt out and you don't have anything else to give, And then what But I'm trying to talk to you about a job opportunity? Do I look an employed to you?

You are emerging in Hollywood in such a real way.

You are emerging in Hollywood in such a real way.

Give it up for la I have there when my whole marriage came crumbling down and I was in their bed. I was there by myself. Nobody gets married and I'm getting divorced. You get married because you feel like you found your person and this is what the rest of your life is going to be.

Give it up for la I have there when my whole marriage came crumbling down and I was in their bed. I was there by myself. Nobody gets married and I'm getting divorced. You get married because you feel like you found your person and this is what the rest of your life is going to be.

Like?

Like?

What can I do? I have to.

What can I do? I have to.

Adjust Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me. The best selling authoring post the number one health and wellness podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you so much for trusting me with your ears and eyes and for spending your valuable time here to listen, learn and grow. Today's guest is someone that we've had on the show before, but she came on the show so early on as an avid supporter, someone who is cheering me on. I was so grateful to have that conversation. Clips of it have gone viral over the years, again and again and again, and I'm so grateful that I get to sit down again with her right now. In New York City. Lala is an actress, producer, New York Times best selling author, and entrepreneur. Lala is best known for her role on the hit show Power, which wrapped its six and the final season on Stars. In twenty twenty, Lala joined the cast of Showtimes The Shy in twenty twenty and later received an NAACP Image Award nomination in the Outstanding Guest Performance category. In twenty twenty two, Lala's teamed up with Isa Ray to executive produce the forthcoming horror comedy for Universal Pictures, Juju, Please Welcome to the show, Lala, Lala, thank you so much for doing this.

Adjust Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me. The best selling authoring post the number one health and wellness podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you so much for trusting me with your ears and eyes and for spending your valuable time here to listen, learn and grow. Today's guest is someone that we've had on the show before, but she came on the show so early on as an avid supporter, someone who is cheering me on. I was so grateful to have that conversation. Clips of it have gone viral over the years, again and again and again, and I'm so grateful that I get to sit down again with her right now. In New York City. Lala is an actress, producer, New York Times best selling author, and entrepreneur. Lala is best known for her role on the hit show Power, which wrapped its six and the final season on Stars. In twenty twenty, Lala joined the cast of Showtimes The Shy in twenty twenty and later received an NAACP Image Award nomination in the Outstanding Guest Performance category. In twenty twenty two, Lala's teamed up with Isa Ray to executive produce the forthcoming horror comedy for Universal Pictures, Juju, Please Welcome to the show, Lala, Lala, thank you so much for doing this.

Honestly, like I will always show up for you.

Honestly, like I will always show up for you.

You literally like you came on the show when like I don't even know anyone knew what the show was and you. I think we just connected online and we'd started messaging and I was so grateful when you came on, and since then we've stayed in touch. We can always just ye.

You literally like you came on the show when like I don't even know anyone knew what the show was and you. I think we just connected online and we'd started messaging and I was so grateful when you came on, and since then we've stayed in touch. We can always just ye.

Thank you saying you're my friend and someone I could depend on, and you always say the right things at Like you just said something to you right now. I was like I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that has been sometimes one of those days, and I was like I needed that. You always like know exactly what to say.

Thank you saying you're my friend and someone I could depend on, and you always say the right things at Like you just said something to you right now. I was like I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that has been sometimes one of those days, and I was like I needed that. You always like know exactly what to say.

You're very sweet and I appreciate that, and I want to let's start there. Actually, Like one thing I've been encouraging my friends to do. People that I love people I care about is reflecting on difficult things they've got through, difficult things they've broken through, because I think often we do a lot of difficult things. And I realized this through my mom. Actually, so my mom is a superwoman. She has done so many difficult things in her life, but she sees them as normal. So she never stops to think, oh, I'm powerful and I'm strong.

You're very sweet and I appreciate that, and I want to let's start there. Actually, Like one thing I've been encouraging my friends to do. People that I love people I care about is reflecting on difficult things they've got through, difficult things they've broken through, because I think often we do a lot of difficult things. And I realized this through my mom. Actually, so my mom is a superwoman. She has done so many difficult things in her life, but she sees them as normal. So she never stops to think, oh, I'm powerful and I'm strong.

Part of life, just a part of life.

Part of life, just a part of life.

So what's something difficult or hard that you've done in the last twelve months or recently that you want to take a moment to just honor yourself?

So what's something difficult or hard that you've done in the last twelve months or recently that you want to take a moment to just honor yourself?

Phone, that is so nice. I should honor myself, I think, you know. Learning that healing is messy, that's something that I'm dealing with and it comes and goes, it's not always there. But under standing that there's no time limit on healing, and giving myself credit for healing and going through everything that I've been through, and learning that I don't always have to act like everything's okay if it's not. I have a tendency to do that, Like it's one thing to not let people see you sweat, which I do understand that, and you don't need to put all your business on social media or whatever, but it's okay to feel things and understand that healing is messy. So my mom sent me something recently that was like, you know, be kind to yourself, give yourself grace because healing is messy. As soon as you think like, oh, I'm done with that, over that, all of a sudden like well, why is this still making me feel like that? Or you're here to hear something or see something, and like why am I still a little bothered by that? And I hear you talk about this. You know, there's no like time frame like Okay, once it's been two months, you're done with whatever the difficult thing was. You shouldn't even be thinking about it anymore. Could be years and something can still pop up and trigger you or whatever, and being kind to yourself during those periods. So I want to honor myself for just finally understanding healing is messy and not being so hard on myself on certain things to not say you should have been done with that already. Why are you still thinking about that? Or why did that still bother you? Is life? We're human, we have feelings. Things happen.

Phone, that is so nice. I should honor myself, I think, you know. Learning that healing is messy, that's something that I'm dealing with and it comes and goes, it's not always there. But under standing that there's no time limit on healing, and giving myself credit for healing and going through everything that I've been through, and learning that I don't always have to act like everything's okay if it's not. I have a tendency to do that, Like it's one thing to not let people see you sweat, which I do understand that, and you don't need to put all your business on social media or whatever, but it's okay to feel things and understand that healing is messy. So my mom sent me something recently that was like, you know, be kind to yourself, give yourself grace because healing is messy. As soon as you think like, oh, I'm done with that, over that, all of a sudden like well, why is this still making me feel like that? Or you're here to hear something or see something, and like why am I still a little bothered by that? And I hear you talk about this. You know, there's no like time frame like Okay, once it's been two months, you're done with whatever the difficult thing was. You shouldn't even be thinking about it anymore. Could be years and something can still pop up and trigger you or whatever, and being kind to yourself during those periods. So I want to honor myself for just finally understanding healing is messy and not being so hard on myself on certain things to not say you should have been done with that already. Why are you still thinking about that? Or why did that still bother you? Is life? We're human, we have feelings. Things happen.

As you said when you walked in life is life.

As you said when you walked in life is life.

Life is lifing, Life is lifing, and you know, there's so many blessings in this beautiful life and I'm blessed to have the life that i have, and I'm constantly, you know, thanking God for this beautiful life. And sometimes you feel ungrateful or like what do you have to complain about? Like, you have a beautiful life, You're doing well. Might not have some of the financial troubles or issues that a lot of people are going through that I have had, you know before in my life, but it doesn't shield you from feelings and going through things. And I think a lot of time people kind of confuse that.

Life is lifing, Life is lifing, and you know, there's so many blessings in this beautiful life and I'm blessed to have the life that i have, and I'm constantly, you know, thanking God for this beautiful life. And sometimes you feel ungrateful or like what do you have to complain about? Like, you have a beautiful life, You're doing well. Might not have some of the financial troubles or issues that a lot of people are going through that I have had, you know before in my life, but it doesn't shield you from feelings and going through things. And I think a lot of time people kind of confuse that.

Yeah, I think different platforms in different levels have different problems and they keep changing. Definitely, the problems you have to they want the problems you had then, and the problems you had then are not problems you have today. I feel like healing is an interesting word because everyone's looking at what happens on the outside, But what do you think you're trying to heal on the inside, Like what have you discovered about what you are trying to heal?

Yeah, I think different platforms in different levels have different problems and they keep changing. Definitely, the problems you have to they want the problems you had then, and the problems you had then are not problems you have today. I feel like healing is an interesting word because everyone's looking at what happens on the outside, But what do you think you're trying to heal on the inside, Like what have you discovered about what you are trying to heal?

I think on the inside, I'm just trying to heal a person who probably has dealt with feelings of like abandonment, a person who has dealt with feelings of not feeling good enough, or definitely always having the questions of like why me, Why did this have to happen to me? Why me? Why did I have to go through this? I give so much good in the world. I do so much for so many people, Like why do I have to suffer or go through what I feel like at times is some of the hardest things to go through. But still keep a brave face, still keep a smile, so understanding that, like I really do believe when people say, you know that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. And I remind myself of that, like you went through it because you could, and you come out better and people can learn from you, and this can help somebody else. And I just have to remind myself of those things because you do get caught up in the why me, and like, look at everyone else. They have this, they have that why me? Why am I? You know? Whatever? It is? So just getting better at that, I.

I think on the inside, I'm just trying to heal a person who probably has dealt with feelings of like abandonment, a person who has dealt with feelings of not feeling good enough, or definitely always having the questions of like why me, Why did this have to happen to me? Why me? Why did I have to go through this? I give so much good in the world. I do so much for so many people, Like why do I have to suffer or go through what I feel like at times is some of the hardest things to go through. But still keep a brave face, still keep a smile, so understanding that, like I really do believe when people say, you know that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. And I remind myself of that, like you went through it because you could, and you come out better and people can learn from you, and this can help somebody else. And I just have to remind myself of those things because you do get caught up in the why me, and like, look at everyone else. They have this, they have that why me? Why am I? You know? Whatever? It is? So just getting better at that, I.

Think, and when you talk to people, because I'm assuming that you know, sometimes when we have that view of like, oh, they have it all or they have it all. I'm sure you talk to people behind the scenes and realize they don't have it all right, right, And then how does that make you feel when you realize, oh, wait a minute, they don't have it Well, yeah.

Think, and when you talk to people, because I'm assuming that you know, sometimes when we have that view of like, oh, they have it all or they have it all. I'm sure you talk to people behind the scenes and realize they don't have it all right, right, And then how does that make you feel when you realize, oh, wait a minute, they don't have it Well, yeah.

I mean it doesn't make me feel good. I'm not wishing for anyone to be struggling or not happy, but you just reelize that things are just not always what they seem. And you know, in the world of social media, in the world of just constantly like looking at everyone else, whether it's how they look, their bodies or their lives and saying, oh, I wish that could be me. It's like it's not reality. You don't know what people are dealing with. You don't know what people go home to, you don't know what's happening on the inside. And sometimes you do know because you'll hear things or see things and you're like, oh, I thought this person had like the perfect life. Now there whatever. You know, So it's just like really honing in on making yourself happy, figuring out what it is that you need, and not comparing or always looking at something else, because if we do that, I just feel like you'll never be happy, and you'll never be satisfied because there's always going to be somebody that looks better, dresses better, younger, more talented, whatever it is. Like, So if you're looking for a reason to knock yourself down, you're gonna find it. Like it's not that hard, You're gonna find it. So you have to be whole within yourself. And I am confident within myself. I'm not insecure. I'm confident and I do walk with a certain level of confidence. So that part I'm good at dealing with the kind of just like wow, like why me do certain things happen too? I'm still, you know, pushing through that and learning every day, Like life is about learning. I don't think you're supposed to ever have it all figured out. You strike me as somebody that has it all figured out, But you're learning every day. And I think when we have these conversations, you learn from us and vice versa, Like it's a constant learning experience.

I mean it doesn't make me feel good. I'm not wishing for anyone to be struggling or not happy, but you just reelize that things are just not always what they seem. And you know, in the world of social media, in the world of just constantly like looking at everyone else, whether it's how they look, their bodies or their lives and saying, oh, I wish that could be me. It's like it's not reality. You don't know what people are dealing with. You don't know what people go home to, you don't know what's happening on the inside. And sometimes you do know because you'll hear things or see things and you're like, oh, I thought this person had like the perfect life. Now there whatever. You know, So it's just like really honing in on making yourself happy, figuring out what it is that you need, and not comparing or always looking at something else, because if we do that, I just feel like you'll never be happy, and you'll never be satisfied because there's always going to be somebody that looks better, dresses better, younger, more talented, whatever it is. Like, So if you're looking for a reason to knock yourself down, you're gonna find it. Like it's not that hard, You're gonna find it. So you have to be whole within yourself. And I am confident within myself. I'm not insecure. I'm confident and I do walk with a certain level of confidence. So that part I'm good at dealing with the kind of just like wow, like why me do certain things happen too? I'm still, you know, pushing through that and learning every day, Like life is about learning. I don't think you're supposed to ever have it all figured out. You strike me as somebody that has it all figured out, But you're learning every day. And I think when we have these conversations, you learn from us and vice versa, Like it's a constant learning experience.

Yeah, I'm constantly trying. It's really interesting, isn't it. When you are in a position of influence, people often assume that you do have it all figured out right, And I'm constantly I think people who listen to the podcast, they know me very deeply and intimately because they hear me say I struggled with this this week, or this is something I'm going through. But if someone just sees a post on social media, they think, oh, yeah, everything must be perfect. And I find that I encourage everyone, And this is why you coming on the podcast is so great because I encourage everyone to study people they follow a bit deeper, not to take them down or to think happy that they've got problems too. Not that reason, but the reason of like, when you really study someone or you get to know someone, you start to realize we're all actually in a much more similar place. Right.

Yeah, I'm constantly trying. It's really interesting, isn't it. When you are in a position of influence, people often assume that you do have it all figured out right, And I'm constantly I think people who listen to the podcast, they know me very deeply and intimately because they hear me say I struggled with this this week, or this is something I'm going through. But if someone just sees a post on social media, they think, oh, yeah, everything must be perfect. And I find that I encourage everyone, And this is why you coming on the podcast is so great because I encourage everyone to study people they follow a bit deeper, not to take them down or to think happy that they've got problems too. Not that reason, but the reason of like, when you really study someone or you get to know someone, you start to realize we're all actually in a much more similar place. Right.

It's so true. And what I've learned in my journey of life is you start realizing, no matter how much money, how much status, or whatever, like my friends that I grew up with when I had, you know, nothing, are going through similar issues as friends of mine who have all the money in the world, all the success, all the people are people. What you deal with every day is what you deal with every day. Money status doesn't change that. And I think we live in a society where people automatically assume money fixes everything, or influence fixes everything, or fame fixes everything, not understanding that there's so many amazing things that come with I'm not gonna sit here and be like, oh, being successful, being famous, being whatever is like the worst thing in the world. I'm not that person. I'm so grateful for my success, my fame, my influence, and I don't take it lightly. But it doesn't mean that it protects me or stops me from dealing with other things. And fame influence comes with other sets of problems, you know, people feeling like they can criticize you, people feeling like your life is an open book and they can say anything. A lot of us, when we go through things, the whole world doesn't have to know about it. When people like us go through things, it's open for discussion for the whole world, and everyone has an opinion. And that's not easy either. So you just have to continue to kind of strengthen yourself to be able to do with you know, all that that that comes with it.

It's so true. And what I've learned in my journey of life is you start realizing, no matter how much money, how much status, or whatever, like my friends that I grew up with when I had, you know, nothing, are going through similar issues as friends of mine who have all the money in the world, all the success, all the people are people. What you deal with every day is what you deal with every day. Money status doesn't change that. And I think we live in a society where people automatically assume money fixes everything, or influence fixes everything, or fame fixes everything, not understanding that there's so many amazing things that come with I'm not gonna sit here and be like, oh, being successful, being famous, being whatever is like the worst thing in the world. I'm not that person. I'm so grateful for my success, my fame, my influence, and I don't take it lightly. But it doesn't mean that it protects me or stops me from dealing with other things. And fame influence comes with other sets of problems, you know, people feeling like they can criticize you, people feeling like your life is an open book and they can say anything. A lot of us, when we go through things, the whole world doesn't have to know about it. When people like us go through things, it's open for discussion for the whole world, and everyone has an opinion. And that's not easy either. So you just have to continue to kind of strengthen yourself to be able to do with you know, all that that that comes with it.

Yeah, I love what you said there, Like, I've thought about that a lot too, because you know, last time you came, we were tracking your whole career journey. Like you've done, You've hustled, you've worked hard. You've done so much to get to where you are today, and I want to get to that. But for me, as I've been on this journey, I've been reflecting on what's changed over time as my external situation has changed, and what makes me feel protected and use that word protection, And I've realized that, of course we have to have our internal protection or how we feel about ourselves, our confidence, our own practices. But I found that the thing that makes me feel the most protected is knowing the people around me who really know me, and how much closer we get through that process. Right, Like, I have to take so much strength in the fact that the people around me not only do they have my back, but they actually know me and understand me at a core, and I kind of take a lot of energy from that. Do you do the same.

Yeah, I love what you said there, Like, I've thought about that a lot too, because you know, last time you came, we were tracking your whole career journey. Like you've done, You've hustled, you've worked hard. You've done so much to get to where you are today, and I want to get to that. But for me, as I've been on this journey, I've been reflecting on what's changed over time as my external situation has changed, and what makes me feel protected and use that word protection, And I've realized that, of course we have to have our internal protection or how we feel about ourselves, our confidence, our own practices. But I found that the thing that makes me feel the most protected is knowing the people around me who really know me, and how much closer we get through that process. Right, Like, I have to take so much strength in the fact that the people around me not only do they have my back, but they actually know me and understand me at a core, and I kind of take a lot of energy from that. Do you do the same.

I've taken so much energy from that. I'm like the people who know, they know the people that I need to depend on, They're always there. I'm blessed to have an amazing family, amazing group of friends that are like ride or die that I know are there no matter what, and it's something that I don't take lightly. So it's not about proving to the world. Anything like if my core group gets it, knows me inside and out, knows my ups, knows my downs, and are there for me, that's the energy I pull from as well.

I've taken so much energy from that. I'm like the people who know, they know the people that I need to depend on, They're always there. I'm blessed to have an amazing family, amazing group of friends that are like ride or die that I know are there no matter what, and it's something that I don't take lightly. So it's not about proving to the world. Anything like if my core group gets it, knows me inside and out, knows my ups, knows my downs, and are there for me, that's the energy I pull from as well.

I want to talk to about friendship. I think a lot of people feel quite even when you're close friends, and I'm sure you felt this. It's hard to open up about things that are going wrong in your life. And I think a lot of people are listening or watching that's something that they can relate to. Where it's like I have my friends, but I don't know how to tell them right that I'm going through this, or I know they'd care about me, but I don't want them to feel sorry for me. Yeah, or maybe they're going through so much stuff that I don't want to put my stuff on them. How have you managed to keep strong relationships as you've grown in life, as you've built your career. How have you managed to keep that instead of losing it as you get more busy.

I want to talk to about friendship. I think a lot of people feel quite even when you're close friends, and I'm sure you felt this. It's hard to open up about things that are going wrong in your life. And I think a lot of people are listening or watching that's something that they can relate to. Where it's like I have my friends, but I don't know how to tell them right that I'm going through this, or I know they'd care about me, but I don't want them to feel sorry for me. Yeah, or maybe they're going through so much stuff that I don't want to put my stuff on them. How have you managed to keep strong relationships as you've grown in life, as you've built your career. How have you managed to keep that instead of losing it as you get more busy.

I think that my friendships have gotten even stronger because of those moments. I don't base my friendships off of you know, this person has only been around when everything's been great, or we only talk about sunshine and flowers and cupcakes. Like, friends have to be there through everything, and you have to be able to be okay with being raw and real with people that you consider your friend and don't throw that word around likely if you're saying this is my friend, this is my go to. You should be able to share whatever's happening in your life, whether it's good or bad, and those are the things that bond you, you know, through those I remember the friends that were there for me when I was going through my divorce, when I was publicly you know, going through what I was going through as a result of what happened in my marriage. Like, I remember my friends that were there. I remember when my son was really young and had to have surgery and who was there in that moment? Like I remember all of that and those were the strengthening moments of our friendship. Now the fun stuff is great too. I remember my friends had been on vacation with me and got drunk and had a great time. But it's a balance, you know, the real friendships had a mix of all of that stuff, because that's what life is. Life is not always just fun in games. Life is up and down and up and down. That's that's what life is.

I think that my friendships have gotten even stronger because of those moments. I don't base my friendships off of you know, this person has only been around when everything's been great, or we only talk about sunshine and flowers and cupcakes. Like, friends have to be there through everything, and you have to be able to be okay with being raw and real with people that you consider your friend and don't throw that word around likely if you're saying this is my friend, this is my go to. You should be able to share whatever's happening in your life, whether it's good or bad, and those are the things that bond you, you know, through those I remember the friends that were there for me when I was going through my divorce, when I was publicly you know, going through what I was going through as a result of what happened in my marriage. Like, I remember my friends that were there. I remember when my son was really young and had to have surgery and who was there in that moment? Like I remember all of that and those were the strengthening moments of our friendship. Now the fun stuff is great too. I remember my friends had been on vacation with me and got drunk and had a great time. But it's a balance, you know, the real friendships had a mix of all of that stuff, because that's what life is. Life is not always just fun in games. Life is up and down and up and down. That's that's what life is.

Was there anything that a friend said to you, or guidance you heard when you were going through a divorce that really helped, or that really stayed with you, or that you kind of carry around in your heart.

Was there anything that a friend said to you, or guidance you heard when you were going through a divorce that really helped, or that really stayed with you, or that you kind of carry around in your heart.

Just not to blame myself, you know, this isn't your fault. Not to blame myself. That always kind of stuck with me because it's easy to just blame yourself or get down on yourself. Or what was it you know that I did? And when I say not blaming yourself, I'm not saying don't take accountability for whatever you might have had to do with the situation. Like it's important to sit back and say, Okay, where could I have been better? Because life is about being better and learning. You don't want to just say, oh, this happened, it had nothing to do with me. You want to understand, like where could I have done better? Or where did maybe I fall short on some things? But that's different than blaming yourself for what happened. And I think by taking accountability, I was able to grow and become a better person for whatever happens in my life in the future. You don't go through these experiences not to learn, then what was the point, Like, you don't go through these experiences to then duplicate the same issues in your next relationship or your next marriage or whatever it is. That's not what that was there for. It was to learn to get better and then to apply that knowledge to the next situation, whether it's a friendship, relationship, marriage, whatever it is.

Just not to blame myself, you know, this isn't your fault. Not to blame myself. That always kind of stuck with me because it's easy to just blame yourself or get down on yourself. Or what was it you know that I did? And when I say not blaming yourself, I'm not saying don't take accountability for whatever you might have had to do with the situation. Like it's important to sit back and say, Okay, where could I have been better? Because life is about being better and learning. You don't want to just say, oh, this happened, it had nothing to do with me. You want to understand, like where could I have done better? Or where did maybe I fall short on some things? But that's different than blaming yourself for what happened. And I think by taking accountability, I was able to grow and become a better person for whatever happens in my life in the future. You don't go through these experiences not to learn, then what was the point, Like, you don't go through these experiences to then duplicate the same issues in your next relationship or your next marriage or whatever it is. That's not what that was there for. It was to learn to get better and then to apply that knowledge to the next situation, whether it's a friendship, relationship, marriage, whatever it is.

I love what you brought out there, and I want everyone to just take note of that, because I think we think we either have to take full responsibility or no responsibility, so we either blame the other person, right, or we blame ourselves, and it's only either or, And the truth is it's so much more balanced where it's like, I don't want to blame myself and beat myself up because that's going to set me down. Yes, yeah, terrible spiral. At the same time, I'm not going to sit here and just blame everything on the other because that's not true and there's accountability on both sides. And so let me look at how can I be better? But how can I not beat myself up? What is it that you think you learned or what about you do you think has become better or healed or what have you worked on because of that? Shift in your life, just.

I love what you brought out there, and I want everyone to just take note of that, because I think we think we either have to take full responsibility or no responsibility, so we either blame the other person, right, or we blame ourselves, and it's only either or, And the truth is it's so much more balanced where it's like, I don't want to blame myself and beat myself up because that's going to set me down. Yes, yeah, terrible spiral. At the same time, I'm not going to sit here and just blame everything on the other because that's not true and there's accountability on both sides. And so let me look at how can I be better? But how can I not beat myself up? What is it that you think you learned or what about you do you think has become better or healed or what have you worked on because of that? Shift in your life, just.

A balance, you know, understanding balance. I'm such a career driven, work driven person that that could just take over my life and that becomes what's, you know, the most important to me outside of my son. There's never been anything that's more important than Cayenne. And you know this, you just get caught up in the work and next thing you know, friends or partners or whatever are feeling neglected or like I just feel like you never have time or you're not making them feel special in their you know, moments and being there for them because it's like you got to film one more podcast, I gotta go to set, I gotta film one more episode. I gotta go do this really fast, but it'll be quick and I'll come right back, you know. And then you realize when people friends as well are feeling like neglected in those departments, problems can happen because of that. You start looking for other ways to fulfill that void and that need, and that's how things happen. So again, it's not blaming myself, but just being aware of things that happen and finding that balance and getting better at that balance. And I need the balance j for myself. It's not even for a partner, for myself, because I should be okay with having a personal life and a professional life and not feel guilty. I was the person that if I went on a vacation, I felt guilty, like I gotta work. I can't be doing this, Like I don't want people to think I'm just having a good time. I should be on set. I should be doing and like really beating myself up. Meanwhile, I work my ass off. I should be able to take a vacation. If I want to take a month off, I should be able to do that. I've worked. I've been in this industry since I was sixteen years old. I should be able to do that. I have enough equity in the game with all I've given it to be able to do that. But I still would feel so guilty over that. So that's the balance that I'm talking about.

A balance, you know, understanding balance. I'm such a career driven, work driven person that that could just take over my life and that becomes what's, you know, the most important to me outside of my son. There's never been anything that's more important than Cayenne. And you know this, you just get caught up in the work and next thing you know, friends or partners or whatever are feeling neglected or like I just feel like you never have time or you're not making them feel special in their you know, moments and being there for them because it's like you got to film one more podcast, I gotta go to set, I gotta film one more episode. I gotta go do this really fast, but it'll be quick and I'll come right back, you know. And then you realize when people friends as well are feeling like neglected in those departments, problems can happen because of that. You start looking for other ways to fulfill that void and that need, and that's how things happen. So again, it's not blaming myself, but just being aware of things that happen and finding that balance and getting better at that balance. And I need the balance j for myself. It's not even for a partner, for myself, because I should be okay with having a personal life and a professional life and not feel guilty. I was the person that if I went on a vacation, I felt guilty, like I gotta work. I can't be doing this, Like I don't want people to think I'm just having a good time. I should be on set. I should be doing and like really beating myself up. Meanwhile, I work my ass off. I should be able to take a vacation. If I want to take a month off, I should be able to do that. I've worked. I've been in this industry since I was sixteen years old. I should be able to do that. I have enough equity in the game with all I've given it to be able to do that. But I still would feel so guilty over that. So that's the balance that I'm talking about.

Yeah, No, I'm really glad that you went that step further of life, Like it's giving yourself to your friends, a potential partner, but also to yourself. What do you think it was for you that blocked you from giving yourself that permission? And the reason I asked that is because I was looking at the studies in the US, and it was saying, how so many people don't take all of their leave from work, Like most people are not taking their leave, and there's not even that much leave in the US to take. So when I was in the UK, you get like thirty days off a year. Wow, And I think here, yeah, and here it's not that many. And so when I moved here and I remember looking at that, I was thinking, Wow, and still people aren't taking time off. I think that's something that people can relate to that a lot of people struggle to think, Well, maybe when I come back, I'll have so many more emails. Oh my god, I'm movie so behind. Oh my gosh, I won't get promoted this year. Oh my gosh, I might get let go. I'm competing with this person. I may become irrelevant. I have to stay on top of stuff. What was it for you that kind of do you think stopped you from giving yourself permission to have a balance.

Yeah, No, I'm really glad that you went that step further of life, Like it's giving yourself to your friends, a potential partner, but also to yourself. What do you think it was for you that blocked you from giving yourself that permission? And the reason I asked that is because I was looking at the studies in the US, and it was saying, how so many people don't take all of their leave from work, Like most people are not taking their leave, and there's not even that much leave in the US to take. So when I was in the UK, you get like thirty days off a year. Wow, And I think here, yeah, and here it's not that many. And so when I moved here and I remember looking at that, I was thinking, Wow, and still people aren't taking time off. I think that's something that people can relate to that a lot of people struggle to think, Well, maybe when I come back, I'll have so many more emails. Oh my god, I'm movie so behind. Oh my gosh, I won't get promoted this year. Oh my gosh, I might get let go. I'm competing with this person. I may become irrelevant. I have to stay on top of stuff. What was it for you that kind of do you think stopped you from giving yourself permission to have a balance.

Definitely a fear and you and I always talk about fear. A fear of someone's going to come and take my job, or someone's gonna come and take my place, or I used to take so much pride in being like, you know, even if I'm not the most talented, I'm the hardest worker. No one can outwork me. And that was like my badge of honor, like I will outwork everyone until you're burnt out and you don't have anything else to give, and then what they move on to the next person anyway, So it's like you have to take care of yourself. And I had to learn that because I would just go until I couldn't go anymore and then not have anything to give to anyone because I didn't have that balance. But that was all because of fear and not also believing in myself enough to say I'm enough and if someone is able to just come and take this from me, it was never mine to begin with, and really being okay with that. But I just think we well, I grew up in a world where it's so competitive and it's like, you know, you can't take your foot off the gas. As soon as you do it, somebody else is coming, or don't even give you know, somebody else a chance to take your spot, whatever that even means. But that's the culture I grew up in and what I was condition and brainwashed to always believe. So it was like go to you can't go anymore. And now I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore. Have I reached the place where I found the perfect balance. No, but I am getting better at it. I just told you I took a trip. I was at a couple different places prior to that. I took Cayenne to the Cayman Islands and we had a great time, and I felt happy. I felt not guilty for doing that, and I felt okay with posting about it and not thinking like, oh, they're gonna think this girl she's always on vacation or something like that. I felt good about that because I deserve it and I need to.

Definitely a fear and you and I always talk about fear. A fear of someone's going to come and take my job, or someone's gonna come and take my place, or I used to take so much pride in being like, you know, even if I'm not the most talented, I'm the hardest worker. No one can outwork me. And that was like my badge of honor, like I will outwork everyone until you're burnt out and you don't have anything else to give, and then what they move on to the next person anyway, So it's like you have to take care of yourself. And I had to learn that because I would just go until I couldn't go anymore and then not have anything to give to anyone because I didn't have that balance. But that was all because of fear and not also believing in myself enough to say I'm enough and if someone is able to just come and take this from me, it was never mine to begin with, and really being okay with that. But I just think we well, I grew up in a world where it's so competitive and it's like, you know, you can't take your foot off the gas. As soon as you do it, somebody else is coming, or don't even give you know, somebody else a chance to take your spot, whatever that even means. But that's the culture I grew up in and what I was condition and brainwashed to always believe. So it was like go to you can't go anymore. And now I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore. Have I reached the place where I found the perfect balance. No, but I am getting better at it. I just told you I took a trip. I was at a couple different places prior to that. I took Cayenne to the Cayman Islands and we had a great time, and I felt happy. I felt not guilty for doing that, and I felt okay with posting about it and not thinking like, oh, they're gonna think this girl she's always on vacation or something like that. I felt good about that because I deserve it and I need to.

Do that absolutely absolutely, And I love hearing the practical ways in which it's actually taking part. It's really interesting. It's so much about like what we get our significance from, like what makes us feel worthy. And for some of us it's overworking, for some of us it's overgiving, for some of us it's oversharing. And it's like, what makes you feel worthy today? What makes you feel worthy and happy today?

Do that absolutely absolutely, And I love hearing the practical ways in which it's actually taking part. It's really interesting. It's so much about like what we get our significance from, like what makes us feel worthy. And for some of us it's overworking, for some of us it's overgiving, for some of us it's oversharing. And it's like, what makes you feel worthy today? What makes you feel worthy and happy today?

Definitely my son, Like he makes me so happy because you still really seeing the influence you have over your child at a certain age where it's like, Wow, everything I've taught him or things I've tried to drill in his head, now I'm seeing it actually come to for wishing. Or he's repeating things to me that I'm like, oh, he was listening to me when I said that, or he is following my guidance or advice. You know, he's sixteen years old now and he's making a career and a lane for himself in basketball, and you know, he's doing so well. But I just see how humble he is, how kind he is, how he's all about, you know, giving back to the community, and all the things that are so important to me. Now I'm just seeing him take on all of that same stuff, and that makes me so happy because I feel like, you know, I did a great job. And it's not like I'm done being a parent, but I did a great job thus far of being a parent and never allowing whatever was happening in my life or to affect my parenting or affect how I was with, you know, my child. That's something that makes me happy and something I'm really proud of because that's not easy, you know, to deal with day to day life and ups and downs and then come home and be, you know, there for your child and be willing to just listen to their needs and what they have going on. That's not easy.

Definitely my son, Like he makes me so happy because you still really seeing the influence you have over your child at a certain age where it's like, Wow, everything I've taught him or things I've tried to drill in his head, now I'm seeing it actually come to for wishing. Or he's repeating things to me that I'm like, oh, he was listening to me when I said that, or he is following my guidance or advice. You know, he's sixteen years old now and he's making a career and a lane for himself in basketball, and you know, he's doing so well. But I just see how humble he is, how kind he is, how he's all about, you know, giving back to the community, and all the things that are so important to me. Now I'm just seeing him take on all of that same stuff, and that makes me so happy because I feel like, you know, I did a great job. And it's not like I'm done being a parent, but I did a great job thus far of being a parent and never allowing whatever was happening in my life or to affect my parenting or affect how I was with, you know, my child. That's something that makes me happy and something I'm really proud of because that's not easy, you know, to deal with day to day life and ups and downs and then come home and be, you know, there for your child and be willing to just listen to their needs and what they have going on. That's not easy.

What's been the biggest thing you think he's taught you?

What's been the biggest thing you think he's taught you?

Definitely patience. Everyone says like, you don't experience love till you have a child, and you're like, well, what does that really mean? Like, I know what it's like to love someone, but it definitely is a different kind of love. So just unconditional love, patience, and you know, I always say that my son is my best friend. Now it's interesting because people will say that, and I don't know if you've read about this, Jay, I'm curious to know your tape. People will say that your children should not be your best friend, that you should be a parent and your child should not be your best friend. I'm on the other side of it. My son is my best friend, and I'm still able to be a parent and have him as my best friend and best friend. I mean, I spend more time with my son than anyone else. I live with my child, so he's the person I live for. He's my roommate essentially, and know me in every shape and form. Happy days, the sad days, everything, and there's nothing I don't feel like we can talk about on his side on my side. To me, those are all the qualities of a best friend. Do I still parent him and discipline him? And of course I do. But there's a lot of type read a lot of talk about that, and sometimes when I write like hanging with my best friends, like, ah, your son shouldn't be your best friend, like you should just be a parent. That's the problem these days, parents trying to be their kids friends. And isn't that I come from a different.

Definitely patience. Everyone says like, you don't experience love till you have a child, and you're like, well, what does that really mean? Like, I know what it's like to love someone, but it definitely is a different kind of love. So just unconditional love, patience, and you know, I always say that my son is my best friend. Now it's interesting because people will say that, and I don't know if you've read about this, Jay, I'm curious to know your tape. People will say that your children should not be your best friend, that you should be a parent and your child should not be your best friend. I'm on the other side of it. My son is my best friend, and I'm still able to be a parent and have him as my best friend and best friend. I mean, I spend more time with my son than anyone else. I live with my child, so he's the person I live for. He's my roommate essentially, and know me in every shape and form. Happy days, the sad days, everything, and there's nothing I don't feel like we can talk about on his side on my side. To me, those are all the qualities of a best friend. Do I still parent him and discipline him? And of course I do. But there's a lot of type read a lot of talk about that, and sometimes when I write like hanging with my best friends, like, ah, your son shouldn't be your best friend, like you should just be a parent. That's the problem these days, parents trying to be their kids friends. And isn't that I come from a different.

Yeah, I mean I can't. I'm obviously I'm not a parent, so I can't answer it from that perspective. But if I think about it with my parents, I would say at this point, I'm good friends with my parents. I would say I wish we were best friends growing up, okay, And I felt that I was parented, which made me actually not tell them stuff and keep secrets and do my own thing and not really have that open relationship with them, which I wish I think would have been healthier for me, right and for them. And now I'm glad that it's evolved to where it has. But I agree I would have liked to have to have that been friendlier with my parents when I was younger, because I think I could have avoided a lot of the mistakes I made had I had that relationship with them.

Yeah, I mean I can't. I'm obviously I'm not a parent, so I can't answer it from that perspective. But if I think about it with my parents, I would say at this point, I'm good friends with my parents. I would say I wish we were best friends growing up, okay, And I felt that I was parented, which made me actually not tell them stuff and keep secrets and do my own thing and not really have that open relationship with them, which I wish I think would have been healthier for me, right and for them. And now I'm glad that it's evolved to where it has. But I agree I would have liked to have to have that been friendlier with my parents when I was younger, because I think I could have avoided a lot of the mistakes I made had I had that relationship with them.

And felt comfortable talking to them about.

And felt comfortable talking to them about.

Yeah, I was always scared to tell them anything trouble exactly so, and I don't think that that was a healthy feeling as a child of oh I'm going to get into trouble if I did not as a child as a teenager, but as a child I was obedient anyway. But when I was a teenager, it's like, I think that's the age. If you can be friends with your sixteen year old, that's pretty dope.

Yeah, I was always scared to tell them anything trouble exactly so, and I don't think that that was a healthy feeling as a child of oh I'm going to get into trouble if I did not as a child as a teenager, but as a child I was obedient anyway. But when I was a teenager, it's like, I think that's the age. If you can be friends with your sixteen year old, that's pretty dope.

Because and being friend Jay doesn't mean he doesn't get in trouble, because if he does something wrong, he gets in trouble, or you know, I have to sit down and taught to him. But I think it's the approach and the way because sometimes just yelling or it's not effective, at least from what I've seen with other people parenting, you know, and I don't judge anyone's parenting, but yelling, screaming like they're not hearing you. So sometimes just having an honest conversation on why you shouldn't have done that or why that was wrong for me. That gets me further than like what the hell are you? Like they're blocking you out, they're not hearing you anyway.

Because and being friend Jay doesn't mean he doesn't get in trouble, because if he does something wrong, he gets in trouble, or you know, I have to sit down and taught to him. But I think it's the approach and the way because sometimes just yelling or it's not effective, at least from what I've seen with other people parenting, you know, and I don't judge anyone's parenting, but yelling, screaming like they're not hearing you. So sometimes just having an honest conversation on why you shouldn't have done that or why that was wrong for me. That gets me further than like what the hell are you? Like they're blocking you out, they're not hearing you anyway.

I actually went through something like that the other day. So I bumped into someone and I was talking to their teenager. He was probably like maybe like fourteen fifteen, and his mom was like behind me, like telling him what to ask me, and it was almost like she was making it out like he wouldn't ask good questions right.

I actually went through something like that the other day. So I bumped into someone and I was talking to their teenager. He was probably like maybe like fourteen fifteen, and his mom was like behind me, like telling him what to ask me, and it was almost like she was making it out like he wouldn't ask good questions right.

Like not giving him the opportunity.

Like not giving him the opportunity.

Yeah, And the thing is he was actually asking really smart questions and I was like really engaged, but I could see that she kept distracting him, and he kept me like, Mom, I'm.

Yeah, And the thing is he was actually asking really smart questions and I was like really engaged, but I could see that she kept distracting him, and he kept me like, Mom, I'm.

Talking, got it, I got it right.

Talking, got it, I got it right.

And it was just really interesting. And I'd look back and I'd smile and be like he's cool, Like you know, it's all right. And it was just really interesting to me, like she didn't trust that she'd actually been an amazing.

And it was just really interesting. And I'd look back and I'd smile and be like he's cool, Like you know, it's all right. And it was just really interesting to me, like she didn't trust that she'd actually been an amazing.

Parent right and taught him well and put him in a situation where he can handle her.

Parent right and taught him well and put him in a situation where he can handle her.

Yeah, and he was doing great, And I turned I said to her afterwards, I was like, I just want you to know, like you must have raised us on really well because he was so present, he asked me. I was so impressed by a fifteen year old asking those kind of questions, Like I wanted her to know that too, because I guess, mom, girl and reflecting and like kind of feeling like it's never good enough must be a big part of what you carry too.

Yeah, and he was doing great, And I turned I said to her afterwards, I was like, I just want you to know, like you must have raised us on really well because he was so present, he asked me. I was so impressed by a fifteen year old asking those kind of questions, Like I wanted her to know that too, because I guess, mom, girl and reflecting and like kind of feeling like it's never good enough must be a big part of what you carry too.

Yeah, for sure, that's a real thing, you know, mom, guilt and just everything you just said is just so real because again, we get in the habit of beating ourselves up for everything, so it's like blaming ourselves for everything. So you know, my son's like this because of whatever. So it is nice when I always say the biggest complement I've ever heard is when people tell me your son so well mannered, he's so humble, he's so down to earth, he cares about people. Like that makes me feel better than anything any award, any you know, high rated TV show, what movie, anything, Like someone to tell me that my kid is kind and humble and well mannered. That's like the best thing I could ever hear.

Yeah, for sure, that's a real thing, you know, mom, guilt and just everything you just said is just so real because again, we get in the habit of beating ourselves up for everything, so it's like blaming ourselves for everything. So you know, my son's like this because of whatever. So it is nice when I always say the biggest complement I've ever heard is when people tell me your son so well mannered, he's so humble, he's so down to earth, he cares about people. Like that makes me feel better than anything any award, any you know, high rated TV show, what movie, anything, Like someone to tell me that my kid is kind and humble and well mannered. That's like the best thing I could ever hear.

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love hearing that. And I want to talk about your career because last time he came. We kind of did a full like biography of life, all the jobs and like how you started. We talked about your first job and how you broke through. What about you're a driven, ambitious person still despite everything you've achieved. What is that drive pursuing today? Like, what does that look like right now?

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love hearing that. And I want to talk about your career because last time he came. We kind of did a full like biography of life, all the jobs and like how you started. We talked about your first job and how you broke through. What about you're a driven, ambitious person still despite everything you've achieved. What is that drive pursuing today? Like, what does that look like right now?

I'm always trying to figure out what my next thing is. I'm always working extremely hard. I think I still am close enough to remember what not having felt like to continue to push myself the way I do. I'm not that far removed from remembering what that felt like, and it lives in me and it's close to me. So I'm like, I don't like that. I don't want to go back there. So that's the motivation and drive to continue to push forward and I enjoy it. Like I like working. I mean, my mom tells me all the time, like you don't think you should just like take a break, And I'm like, Mom, I like working. Some people like other things. I like working. Some people, you know, rather be at home and do certain things, which is fine. Everyone has a different motivation. I like working. That brings me happiness, that brings me joy, So I push myself in that department. But for me, I'm always trying to see what's next right now. You know, I'm heavy in the acting space, producing space, really big on my prison reform charity, which takes up a lot of my time, and you know, giving back in that way is so important to me. So those are kind of where my immediate focuses are right now. But there's always so many things, you know, happening.

I'm always trying to figure out what my next thing is. I'm always working extremely hard. I think I still am close enough to remember what not having felt like to continue to push myself the way I do. I'm not that far removed from remembering what that felt like, and it lives in me and it's close to me. So I'm like, I don't like that. I don't want to go back there. So that's the motivation and drive to continue to push forward and I enjoy it. Like I like working. I mean, my mom tells me all the time, like you don't think you should just like take a break, And I'm like, Mom, I like working. Some people like other things. I like working. Some people, you know, rather be at home and do certain things, which is fine. Everyone has a different motivation. I like working. That brings me happiness, that brings me joy, So I push myself in that department. But for me, I'm always trying to see what's next right now. You know, I'm heavy in the acting space, producing space, really big on my prison reform charity, which takes up a lot of my time, and you know, giving back in that way is so important to me. So those are kind of where my immediate focuses are right now. But there's always so many things, you know, happening.

With the acting and production, Like what part of it right now do you feel most immersed and in love with Because you've done both for a while now, it's like, what's the project that's kind of like bringing you a live.

With the acting and production, Like what part of it right now do you feel most immersed and in love with Because you've done both for a while now, it's like, what's the project that's kind of like bringing you a live.

Right So, you know, just finding projects that I'm interested in producing is so amazing because you can now bring something that you love to life and you can be in control of that ip or whatever it is and bring it to life. So producing just puts you in control. For so long as an actor, you're waiting for someone else to give you an opportunity. You're auditioning with ten other girls that look very similar to you and just hoping that hey, pick me, pick me. I'm the right person for the role, and nine times out of ten you never you don't get picked me. Get those lucky times, but for the most part, you don't get you don't always get picked. So by producing, you're not waiting. Now you're creating, and you're also putting yourself in a position to create jobs and opportunities for other people. And that's what I'm about, opening the doors for other people to come in and you know, have these experiences and be able to give them, you know, a piece of what I have going on. So that's what I love about producing and just going out there and finding projects that mean something to me. And it's not always about like, oh, I want to produce this because I want it to be this huge success. Of course, you want things you do to be a huge success, but sometimes you want to do it for you like this, I'm passionate about this. I want to tell this story and whoever gets it gets it. Maybe this is not the billion dollar hit or whatever. Maybe this is just for a small group of people that are into this, but that matters to me. So that's what gets me excited. From the producing standpoint and acting. I am on a show, so it's great to just have steady work and I love, you know, the people I work with. I love the show I'm a part of It's it's incredible and it's not to just always have that kind of in the stash.

Right So, you know, just finding projects that I'm interested in producing is so amazing because you can now bring something that you love to life and you can be in control of that ip or whatever it is and bring it to life. So producing just puts you in control. For so long as an actor, you're waiting for someone else to give you an opportunity. You're auditioning with ten other girls that look very similar to you and just hoping that hey, pick me, pick me. I'm the right person for the role, and nine times out of ten you never you don't get picked me. Get those lucky times, but for the most part, you don't get you don't always get picked. So by producing, you're not waiting. Now you're creating, and you're also putting yourself in a position to create jobs and opportunities for other people. And that's what I'm about, opening the doors for other people to come in and you know, have these experiences and be able to give them, you know, a piece of what I have going on. So that's what I love about producing and just going out there and finding projects that mean something to me. And it's not always about like, oh, I want to produce this because I want it to be this huge success. Of course, you want things you do to be a huge success, but sometimes you want to do it for you like this, I'm passionate about this. I want to tell this story and whoever gets it gets it. Maybe this is not the billion dollar hit or whatever. Maybe this is just for a small group of people that are into this, but that matters to me. So that's what gets me excited. From the producing standpoint and acting. I am on a show, so it's great to just have steady work and I love, you know, the people I work with. I love the show I'm a part of It's it's incredible and it's not to just always have that kind of in the stash.

Yeah. Absolutely, you speak about rejection there again another thing I think people relate to whether they're auditioning, applying for jobs, Like it's one of those things that we will face in life in different realms. And I think people often think that when you get to a certain level of success, you don't get rejection. That is, how does that feel like after having I don't know how many auditions you.

Yeah. Absolutely, you speak about rejection there again another thing I think people relate to whether they're auditioning, applying for jobs, Like it's one of those things that we will face in life in different realms. And I think people often think that when you get to a certain level of success, you don't get rejection. That is, how does that feel like after having I don't know how many auditions you.

Must, god, more than I could ever count.

Must, god, more than I could ever count.

Right, Like how many like taped to auditions, like in.

Right, Like how many like taped to auditions, like in.

Person, signing the contract before thinking that I definitely had the job, just to find out that they're not going with me. I mean, I've had everything happening.

Person, signing the contract before thinking that I definitely had the job, just to find out that they're not going with me. I mean, I've had everything happening.

It does it get easier? And how do you react to rejection differently today than you did sixteen years ago?

It does it get easier? And how do you react to rejection differently today than you did sixteen years ago?

So today I realized that most of the time it has nothing to do with you. There's so many other factors. And now being on the producing side, I see the other factors could be anything, could be height, just could be how you you stand next to your co star, could be a million things that out of your control. Is not a decision based on you weren't good enough or you weren't talented enough. And once I realized that, I got better with dealing with it and also being happy and grateful for the person who did at the job because for whatever reason, they were the right person for that job, not feeling like, oh why did they give it to them and not me, like actually leading with grace and kindness and realizing that because I started doing that, more good things started happening for me. But in the beginning, it was like, Oh, they don't like me, or I didn't do a good job. Oh they think I suck. I shouldn't be doing this. Like I was ready to keep up on acting one hundred times. I was like, clearly, this is the one thing that's never gonna happen for me, Like I had to have one thing that just wasn't gonna go. This is it. But I just kept being persistent, kept learning, kept getting better, and then realizing now a lot of the decisions are not based on talent. There's just so many other factors.

So today I realized that most of the time it has nothing to do with you. There's so many other factors. And now being on the producing side, I see the other factors could be anything, could be height, just could be how you you stand next to your co star, could be a million things that out of your control. Is not a decision based on you weren't good enough or you weren't talented enough. And once I realized that, I got better with dealing with it and also being happy and grateful for the person who did at the job because for whatever reason, they were the right person for that job, not feeling like, oh why did they give it to them and not me, like actually leading with grace and kindness and realizing that because I started doing that, more good things started happening for me. But in the beginning, it was like, Oh, they don't like me, or I didn't do a good job. Oh they think I suck. I shouldn't be doing this. Like I was ready to keep up on acting one hundred times. I was like, clearly, this is the one thing that's never gonna happen for me, Like I had to have one thing that just wasn't gonna go. This is it. But I just kept being persistent, kept learning, kept getting better, and then realizing now a lot of the decisions are not based on talent. There's just so many other factors.

When my videos were first seen like seven years ago, around a year later, a TV P diduction company had reached out and said we want to make a TV show about your work, and I was like, this is so cool. I never imagined a million years that that would even be possible. And so we made the deck. We went and pitched it all these companies, and it was really interesting because no one took the show. I was really passionate about the idea we'd created. I thought it was really cool and different, and no one cared, like it didn't even go beyond the first meeting. Like from the first meeting, I was like, we're not sure. And it's really interesting to me because I was talking about this with a friend a couple of weeks ago and I was saying that one thing that happened was it built a number of long term friendships. So everyone I met at those pitches, not everyone, but some of the people have become long term friends that I actually still see now socially, even though we never did anything professionally, So there was a massive win. The other thing was it gave me a great experience of what that process is like. I'd never done it before, and now I actually understand what that looks like. And it was a complete learning curve. But the third one, which is the best one, is I often say to people, had I had been given that show, I potentially may never have started this podcast. I potentially may never have written my book. I potentially may never have gone on tour this year because I wouldn't have had this opportunity to have to build my own work. So true, That's what I want to remind people, is like, just trust in the timing. As long as you're moving forward, that's it. And I think that's the mistake that we often make, is that our disappointment slows us down, or like our feeling of failure forces us to just switch off. Yeah, and instead when you're moving, shifting, figuring things out, discovering anything's possible.

When my videos were first seen like seven years ago, around a year later, a TV P diduction company had reached out and said we want to make a TV show about your work, and I was like, this is so cool. I never imagined a million years that that would even be possible. And so we made the deck. We went and pitched it all these companies, and it was really interesting because no one took the show. I was really passionate about the idea we'd created. I thought it was really cool and different, and no one cared, like it didn't even go beyond the first meeting. Like from the first meeting, I was like, we're not sure. And it's really interesting to me because I was talking about this with a friend a couple of weeks ago and I was saying that one thing that happened was it built a number of long term friendships. So everyone I met at those pitches, not everyone, but some of the people have become long term friends that I actually still see now socially, even though we never did anything professionally, So there was a massive win. The other thing was it gave me a great experience of what that process is like. I'd never done it before, and now I actually understand what that looks like. And it was a complete learning curve. But the third one, which is the best one, is I often say to people, had I had been given that show, I potentially may never have started this podcast. I potentially may never have written my book. I potentially may never have gone on tour this year because I wouldn't have had this opportunity to have to build my own work. So true, That's what I want to remind people, is like, just trust in the timing. As long as you're moving forward, that's it. And I think that's the mistake that we often make, is that our disappointment slows us down, or like our feeling of failure forces us to just switch off. Yeah, and instead when you're moving, shifting, figuring things out, discovering anything's possible.

Yeah, it's so true. And it's funny because on our last podcast, yeah I've still there's been years, you said, that clip is still viral. But we talk about fear, and we always say that people stop because they're disappointed of fear right before something great is going to happen, Like, you stop and don't even realize right past that if you push past that feeling, if you push past that, amazing things are going to happen. And because of our I realized how much that resonated with people like don't let the fear and disappointment stop you because you don't know what's gonna happen after that. Let it build you, Let it build your character, Let it build your armor to be strong to go through these things so that you can keep. Like you said, as long as you're moving forward, it's just so important.