Falling in love can be one of the most beautiful experiences in the world, but it can also be the place where we lose ourselves.

Today, Jay invites us to pause and reflect on how we fall in love, and what it’s costing us when we do. Love, he explains, isn’t meant to complete us or rescue us from our pain; it’s meant to add to a life that already feels rooted and whole. Too often, we mistake intensity for intimacy and attachment for alignment, ignoring the subtle signals that tell us whether a relationship is helping us grow or quietly pulling us away from who we are.

Jay unpacks the biggest mistakes we make in love, beginning with the habit of outsourcing our emotional healing. When we rely on a partner to regulate our emotions, fix our wounds, or validate our worth, love becomes a burden rather than a blessing. He encourages us to tune into the signals that matter most, how you feel after conversations, whether your energy expands or contracts, and if your values are being respected. These signals aren’t signs of failure; they’re invitations to deeper self-awareness and healthier connection. 

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Fall in Love Without Losing Yourself

How to Stop Making Love Your Identity

How to Let Love Add to Your Life, Not Replace It

How to Heal Yourself Without Relying on a Partner

How to Recognize Emotional Red Flags Early

How to Choose Someone Who Respects Your Life

How to Build Love That Supports Your Growth

Love doesn’t have to feel like losing yourself, proving your worth, or shrinking to be chosen. It can be calm, supportive, and deeply affirming when it’s built from self-respect and clarity.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:11 How to Fall in Love Without Losing Yourself

02:10 The Biggest Mistake We Make in Love

03:42 #1: Love Should Bring More Join In 

08:12 #2: Don't Outsource Your Emotional Healing

09:57 #3: Don't Ignore the Signals

13:14 #4: The Three Love Boundaries You Mustn't Cross

16:05 #5: Fall in Love with Someone Who Loves Your Life

Falling in love can be one of the most beautiful experiences in the world, but it can also be the place where we lose ourselves.
Today, Jay invites us to pause and reflect on how we fall in love, and what it&rsquo;s costing us when we do. Love, he explains, isn&rsquo;t meant to complete us or rescue us from our pain; it&rsquo;s meant to add to a life that already feels rooted and whole. Too often, we mistake intensity for intimacy and attachment for alignment, ignoring the subtle signals that tell us whether a relationship is helping us grow or quietly pulling us away from who we are.
Jay unpacks the biggest mistakes we make in love, beginning with the habit of outsourcing our emotional healing. When we rely on a partner to regulate our emotions, fix our wounds, or validate our worth, love becomes a burden rather than a blessing. He encourages us to tune into the signals that matter most, how you feel after conversations, whether your energy expands or contracts, and if your values are being respected. These signals aren&rsquo;t signs of failure; they&rsquo;re invitations to deeper self-awareness and healthier connection.&nbsp;
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Fall in Love Without Losing Yourself
How to Stop Making Love Your Identity
How to Let Love Add to Your Life, Not Replace It
How to Heal Yourself Without Relying on a Partner
How to Recognize Emotional Red Flags Early
How to Choose Someone Who Respects Your Life
How to Build Love That Supports Your Growth
Love doesn&rsquo;t have to feel like losing yourself, proving your worth, or shrinking to be chosen. It can be calm, supportive, and deeply affirming when it&rsquo;s built from self-respect and clarity.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:11 How to Fall in Love Without Losing Yourself
02:10 The Biggest Mistake We Make in Love
03:42 #1: Love Should Bring More Join In&nbsp;
08:12 #2: Don't Outsource Your Emotional Healing
09:57 #3: Don't Ignore the Signals
13:14 #4: The Three Love Boundaries You Mustn't Cross
16:05 #5: Fall in Love with Someone Who Loves Your Life

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

How to Fall in Love Without Losing Yourself This Year (5 Rules to Avoid Getting Stuck in the Wrong Relationship)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/39251388-1119-4471-8c87-b3db005fadb3/transcript