Why do we chase people who don’t choose us, confuse anxiety for attraction, and stay in relationships that leave us questioning our worth? 

Today, Jay sits down with Sabrina Zohar, podcast host and one of the most influential voices in modern dating, to unpack the emotional patterns that quietly shape how we love. Drawing from her own healing journey and work with thousands of clients, Sabrina explains how our childhood experiences, nervous system responses, and unhealed wounds influence who we’re drawn to often without us realizing it.

Together, Jay and Sabrina explore what emotional availability really looks like, why consistency matters more than intensity, and how boundaries aren’t about pushing people away but protecting your peace. They break down common dating traps, from overanalyzing texts to mistaking butterflies for chemistry, and reveal why self-advocacy is one of the most important relationship skills we’re never taught. Through practical insights and deeply personal stories, Sabrina shows why asking for what you need isn’t “too much,” and why love should feel safe, not confusing.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Choose You

How to Date Without Abandoning Yourself

How to Set Boundaries Without Fear of Losing Someone

How to Recognize Emotional Availability Early

How to Break the Cycle of Situationships

How to Ask for What You Need Without Feeling “Too Much”

How to Stop Confusing Intensity for Intimacy

You don’t need to chase clarity, overperform for love, or silence your needs to be chosen. Real connection begins when you feel safe enough to be honest, brave enough to set boundaries, and grounded enough to walk away from what doesn’t honor you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:01 How to Tell If Someone Is Truly Interested

02:52 Why You Date the Parts of You That Aren’t Healed

06:04 Understanding Your Emotional State Before You Date

07:59 Don’t Ignore These Red Flags!

10:33 What Should a Healthy, Secure Relationship Feel Like?

13:34 Why Slowing Down Creates Real Connection

20:07 What’s Really Draining You About Dating?

24:09 Your Partner Will Trigger You, That’s Okay!

29:03 Building a Strong Foundation for Dating

32:45 How to Advocate for Yourself Without Fear of Losing Them

39:20 Are You Feeling Alone?

42:03 How to Spot Emotional Unavailability Early 

44:51 Why Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable

46:56 How to Be Honest About Your Feelings

50:20 How to Communicate Your Needs Clearly

54:52 Why Relationships Must Support Growth

56:57 Timing Is Not a Reason to Hold On

59:23 Texting Etiquette in Modern Dating

01:12:33 Why Real Change Takes Time and Practice

01:18:36 Dating Rapid Fire 

Episode Resources:

Website | https://www.sabrinazohar.com/  

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@sabrina_zohar 

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar  

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Sabrina-Zohar-Show-100094409286590/ 

Why do we chase people who don&rsquo;t choose us, confuse anxiety for attraction, and stay in relationships that leave us questioning our worth?&nbsp;
Today, Jay sits down with Sabrina Zohar, podcast host and one of the most influential voices in modern dating, to unpack the emotional patterns that quietly shape how we love. Drawing from her own healing journey and work with thousands of clients, Sabrina explains how our childhood experiences, nervous system responses, and unhealed wounds influence who we&rsquo;re drawn to often without us realizing it.
Together, Jay and Sabrina explore what emotional availability really looks like, why consistency matters more than intensity, and how boundaries aren&rsquo;t about pushing people away but protecting your peace. They break down common dating traps, from overanalyzing texts to mistaking butterflies for chemistry, and reveal why self-advocacy is one of the most important relationship skills we&rsquo;re never taught. Through practical insights and deeply personal stories, Sabrina shows why asking for what you need isn&rsquo;t &ldquo;too much,&rdquo; and why love should feel safe, not confusing.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Stop Chasing People Who Don&rsquo;t Choose You
How to Date Without Abandoning Yourself
How to Set Boundaries Without Fear of Losing Someone
How to Recognize Emotional Availability Early
How to Break the Cycle of Situationships
How to Ask for What You Need Without Feeling &ldquo;Too Much&rdquo;
How to Stop Confusing Intensity for Intimacy
You don&rsquo;t need to chase clarity, overperform for love, or silence your needs to be chosen. Real connection begins when you feel safe enough to be honest, brave enough to set boundaries, and grounded enough to walk away from what doesn&rsquo;t honor you.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.&nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:01 How to Tell If Someone Is Truly Interested
02:52 Why You Date the Parts of You That Aren&rsquo;t Healed
06:04 Understanding Your Emotional State Before You Date
07:59 Don&rsquo;t Ignore These Red Flags!
10:33 What Should a Healthy, Secure Relationship Feel Like?
13:34 Why Slowing Down Creates Real Connection
20:07 What&rsquo;s Really Draining You About Dating?
24:09 Your Partner Will Trigger You, That&rsquo;s Okay!
29:03 Building a Strong Foundation for Dating
32:45 How to Advocate for Yourself Without Fear of Losing Them
39:20 Are You Feeling Alone?
42:03 How to Spot Emotional Unavailability Early&nbsp;
44:51 Why Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable
46:56 How to Be Honest About Your Feelings
50:20 How to Communicate Your Needs Clearly
54:52 Why Relationships Must Support Growth
56:57 Timing Is Not a Reason to Hold On
59:23 Texting Etiquette in Modern Dating
01:12:33 Why Real Change Takes Time and Practice
01:18:36 Dating Rapid Fire&nbsp;
Episode Resources:
Website | <a href="https://www.sabrinazohar.com/">https://www.sabrinazohar.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar">https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@sabrina_zohar">https://www.youtube.com/@sabrina_zohar</a>&nbsp;
TikTok | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar">https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
Facebook | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Sabrina-Zohar-Show-100094409286590/">https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Sabrina-Zohar-Show-100094409286590/</a>&nbsp;

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

Dating Expert Sabrina Zohar: You’re Not Confused, You’re Ignoring the Signs (THIS Mindset Shift Will End the “What If” Loop for Good)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/c21b4dd0-b037-45d9-bad8-b3ec005ea9bd/transcript