How can you overcome the fear of failure?
What can you do daily to care less about failing?
Today, Jay sits down with Benny Blanco for an inspiring conversation about pursuing passions, mentorship, failure, and continuous motivation. Benny has made a huge mark on the music industry contributing to hundreds of millions of album sales worldwide. Benny has worked with A-List artists like Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber, and Katy Perry. As a solo artist, his albums "Friends Keep Secrets" and its sequel have amassed over 11 billion streams, featuring multiple platinum hits. Beyond music, Benny has ventured into television and even released a cookbook, "Open Wide," showcasing his diverse talents and interests
Benny shares insight on how to not let failure stop you and getting over imposter syndrome. We also go dive into Benny’s life outside of music, exploring his passion for cooking through his cookbook "Open Wide." Plus, Benny talks about his relationships, how he keeps his creativity flowing, and the small joys that make his life special.
In this interview, you’ll learn:
How to pursue your passion with limited resources
How to not let failure get in your way of achieving your goals
How to embrace the unexpected in creative work
How to transition your passion into different fields
How to find joy and creativity in everyday moments
Don't miss this intimate look at Benny Blanco's life and maybe learn a thing or two about making your own multi-track masterpiece or the perfect dish to serve at dinner!
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
03:43 What’s the First Creative Thing You Put Together?
06:15 I Never Cared About Failure
10:33 Developing Amnesia to Failure
14:22 How Did You Meet Your Mentor?
18:10 “The Boy I Mentored”
23:42 How Do You Show Up After a Rejection?
26:51 Love Can Be Felt Through Music
29:56 What Do You Do When You Wake Up?
32:02 Why Do You Struggle with Meditation?
33:28 Why I Went to Therapy
38:25 The Pressure of Perfectionism
44:49 Do You Love to Cook?
47:20 Do You Eat Healthy?
48:47 Finding Comfort in Food
54:42 What’s Your Sleep Pattern?
56:40 Friendships Built Over the Years
59:19 Multigenerational Friendships
01:03:44 Better Relationship After Divorce
01:05:52 Benny on Final Five
01:15:57 What’s Your Vice?
01:17:53 Do You Take Supplements?
Episode Resources:
Benny Blanco | TikTok
Benny Blanco | Instagram
Benny Blanco | YouTube
Benny Blanco | Twitter
Benny Blanco | Facebook
I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music. He like, took it, he listened to it. He threw my hard drive out the window, broke into a million pieces. Not good enough. Start again. A musician, producer a body of work. This guy is produced a written Your list goes on and on, Benny Bronco. If you want to try to be like a musician an entrepreneur, it's scary. If you're gonna fail, Who cares? The second I film, I'm like, the next day I wake up, I'm like, all right, let's do it again.
Hey everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you. In the last ninety days, seventy nine point four percent of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel. There's resets that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed. This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you and the world. Subscribe right now.
The number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Sety Jay Sheety sly.
Set Hey, everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you who come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. You know that I love diving into the minds of people. I find fascinating to dive into how people are creative, how people become conscious, and how people create things that the world gets excited about. I think I've always been a student of life and a student of people's journeys, and here we get to go back in time and find out what those key moments were in people's lives. Today's guest is someone that I've been dying to have on the show. I'm so excited that he's here in the studio. I've been feeling his energy and viable already. I'm excited to share it with you all. I'm speaking about the one and only Benny Blanco, record producer, songwriter, artist, actor, record executive and cookbook Orthile'll have you know, I'll tell you about that in a second. Benny has contributed to the sale of hundreds of millions of albums worldwide through his work with some of your favorite artists including Ed Sheeran, Scissor, Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Katie Perry, The Weekend, Maroon Five, Juice, World Sea, and many more. As a solo artist, Benny has released two albums, Friends Keep Secrets and Friends Keep Secrets Too, that have been streamed more than eleven billion times today and have featured multiple platinum hits. Benny made his TV debut playing a fictionalized version of himself on the FFX series Dave with Little Dicky. If you haven't seen it, that episode's brilliant. Benny's most recent project is his first cookbook, Open Wide. You can get it right now. We'll be diving into that as well. Welcome to the show, Bennie Blanco.
Wow, that was so cool. I want you to walk around with me all the time. I understand. I get why you're number one podcast for help. I was when you were talking. I was. My jaw was dropped. I was just mesmerized by everything.
Benny, I want to do the introduction now every time you go on stage, every time you're there, it has to be you know.
I know I got to come up with one for you. I'd be like perfect skin, beautiful eyes, wavy hair, you're talking about yourself and.
Same thing we both were saying.
We're interchange.
We got curly hair, we got colored eyes, you got good skin. Okay, I love it, Benny. It's such a joy to have you here, and I'm excited to dive into everything that I was just talking about. But when I'm sitting with someone like you, who you know, creativity is at your fingertips, it's kind of embedded into your whole life. I'm always intrigued. What's your earliest childhood memory of being creative? Like, do you remember the first thing you put together? You're just telling me you even had this shirt made that you're wearing today, Like, what was one of the first things you remember saying? Oh, wow, I did some as a kid.
Okay, here's what I really remember. So I you know, I didn't have the luxury of having like insane musical instruments at my fingertips and recording studios. And I was from a I was from the middle of nowhere. So I my brother had a boombox, an old school boombox, and I had a smaller, old school boombox, and I was I remember my earliest memories that probably I'm probably like five or six, and I remember realizing that music. You know, when I first heard music, I always thought that the like the musician was at the radio station singing the song, and I was like, how do they keep coming back to the station. I didn't even understand how music was created, but somewhere very early I figured out that it was like a multi track situation. And I would take I had a boombox, and I would record like me like hitting like this into the boombox. Okay. Then I would press play on that one, and then I would do the next thing on the other boombox and record into that one, and I would keep going back and forth until I created like a track. I guess I was creating like my own like eight track and multi track of layering things, and I didn't even know what it was, but I was just so excited that I was doing it. And my whole career has been a version of that. Like I have no training, I'm not good at anything. I'm I'm I'm really like I like I like I know people are like, oh, you're being humble. I'm really not great at anything. I have like a ultimate will to get things done, Like I'm like this will happened. But no, it's just I'm always trial and error, and I always tell people. People are always just like, wow, did you do this? How did you? And I'm like, honestly like just going in and I call it making a mess. I like to go in and throw a bunch of shit around the room, throw pained everything, and then we worry about cleaning it up later. But maybe a few of those things just happen the land correctly, and I just keep doing that until everything fully lands where I wanted to and I'm just playing clean up around the size.
That's a beautiful way of describing the process. But what gave you that? Where does that will or that confidence come from? Because I think a lot of people are scared of creating a mess or scared of things not sticking, so they never try. Whereas it sounds like you're the opposite, where you're like, well, I don't care if it doesn't try, I'm willing to give it a go. Where is that in a confidence that in an ability to say hey, it's okay come from.
I don't care about failure at all. I don't care, and I never did. I think when I was younger, I didn't understand what failure was like when you're you know, when you're six, when you're seven, when you're twelve, you don't there's not many people to let down, you know what I mean. You let down Timmy at school. He's your friend. Sorry Timmy, but you you're not thinking about that. And I always I just remember from the beginning, like my mom was like I wanted to drop out of school. And you know, my mom was raising me alone, and it was I was probably fifteen sixteen at the time, and I was like, Mom, I know what I want to do. She's like, what do you want to do? I'm like the music stuff, like I'm so into it and I know and I looked at and I go, I know, I'm going to be the biggest in the world. And she was just like, what do you say?
You know?
And I've asked her. I've asked my mom like later in life, like how did you like trust me in my journey? And she always said that she had dreams that she never got to try in her life. And a lot of people are just way too scared to take the jump. You know, a lot of people may have I'm sure everyone in this room, anyone listening has a little something where they're like, oh, I really like that, but they're scared. They're scared. They're like, you know, I would you know, I want to post videos of me cooking on like noah, no, no, no, no want to like it. My friends will make fun of me. I want to I sing in the shower like I want no no, no, no, no no. Because we're taught to just follow suit and do whatever you're supposed to do. You report to your boss, But it doesn't have to be like that. Like if you want to try to be like a musician, an entrepreneur, whatever, it's scary and like I'm sure you've had moments like that where you're like, yo, what am I doing? But if you do try, I believe that if you keep pushing yourself and you keep trying, you're going to succeed. And I always tell people this, it may not be in what you start with, you know, Like when I started, I thought I was going to be the biggest rap artist in the world, And am I a rapper out?
No?
And then I moved into producing, and then I moved into songwriting, and then it's come full circle now where I'm like an artist of some sorts again, and I think you just jump in and just try something, just try, and who cares if you're going to fail? Who cares if you fail? I don't understand. This's the thing. I don't understand. It's just you just get up and you do it again. I like, I have amnesia the second I feel, the second I film, I'm like, the next day I wake up, I'm like, all right, let's do it again.
You know, that's an amazing mindset. So we share something in common already. We both grew up wanting to be famous rappers.
Yeah, I mean too. Yeah, No, that.
Was like my passion, like poetry, spoken word, writing, lyrics, Like all I listened to is hip hop and rap growing up. If you asked me, it's sixteen years old what I wanted to be. That's what I wanted to be. And it's so interesting because today I feel I use the same skills that I wanted to use then, but in a completely different way. I still write, I write books instead of records. I teach meditation, which includes music, includes cadence, it includes rhyme often, but not in the way that a rapper word. And I'm using spoken word constantly to get messages out into the world, but in a different way. And so I love what you just said about that idea of how you actually may succeed, but in a way completely different to what you originally dreamed of.
I hope it goes full circle for you. I want to hear it. I need to hear the j shady rap take what was your rap name?
Oh god, I don't know if I need to go that farka. It was embarrassing, but I'll tell you later. I'll tell you privately.
Yea, is Ja Scheddy your real name? Yes, it's such a. That's the perfect rap it. Ye Ja Shetty sounds like a fire average really from East London?
Okay, I'm from North London, so not far all right? Yeah?
Not far?
Okay?
Cool?
I like it. I like it, but no, I really appreciate what you're saying there. And I think that anesia to failure. Wow, like that that spec. I loved that idea of having amnesia with failure. Can you give me a time. Was that always the case or was there a failure that like did kind of pierce that veil? It never has I can see.
From you now. No, I remember when I was gonna quit music one time before I meet, right before I made it, my my mentor passed away. He took his own life. And I was really young. It was one of my best friends, and I'm probably like eighteen. I remember like sitting in my bed and I was just like I was like crying. I like didn't understand. You know. It was one of the first times that somebody who wasn't supposed to die died. You know. I've had like you know, I had lost my grandmother and lost my grandfather, but it was like the first time in my life where like someone that like I really knew and really touched me, and I talked to them the day before they died, and it's like, uh, I remember like that hitting me like so hard in a way that I didn't know was even possible. Like, you know, I'd been sad, I had, but I remember sitting there in bed and I was just like, I'm just gonna quit. I was like, I gotta quit making music. And then in that very same moment, like my head flipped and I was just like, no, you can't. You gotta like take on what this dude started because he didn't. He was also a musician, and he didn't get totally. He was you know, he was well known and he was a hero to me, but he didn't get where I think he deserved to. And I remember being like, I gotta do this, like I got it, Like he would want me to be doing this. He would. And that was like the only time where it wasn't even failure. It was like the only time where I like really question things. And but don't get me wrong, every time I do something good in life, I'm questioning. It's not but it's like a different feeling. I don't know if you have this, but I'll have a number one song, like a number one song, it's the biggest song in the whole world, and I I'll like look at the men and I'll oh, that's the last one. Like it definitely not gonna have another number one song again. Not saying I'm like scared of the failure. I'm just like, oh, that's just like the last one. That's what I did, or all something really good will happen in my life and I'm like, oh, I'll never recreate that again. And but in the same breath, I'm like, let's go. Like I'm like, let's keep rolling, you know, And and I've tried to do this thing lately in the last like five or ten years, where I really like take in my achievements because for a while I never thought of them. I would just keep going. Like when it was time they'd be like, oh, your song number one, I'd be like, Okay, that's cool. What are we doing next week? And I figured out like it's okay to do that, It's okay to like take a breath and be like, yo, we just did this shit like this is tight, like we did this, this is great and and yeah, I just I'm trying to do that more and failure Like no, I've never had one of those times because whenever I do fail, I'll sit and I'll obviously like I'll sit there and I'll be like this didn't work how I wanted it to. But so many times have been the opposite where I was like, this will never work and then it's me. So it's like I feel like it always evens out and you only have one other choice. It's like the air. Only choice is just to keep going. What are you supposed to do? Just be like no, get up and you do it again.
Yeah, I've got so many questions I want to dive into so much that you said, so rewinding with your mentor, how did you first? And I'm so sorry to hear thank you for sharing with us, and you know, such a challenging event. And I lost my mentor four years ago. He passed away from stage four brain cancer during the pandemic. So I couldn't go back to see him because I couldn't take a flight, and so I couldn't be a funeral. So you know that, Yeah, it was super rough for me. It was more recent. But how did you meet your mentor and how did you form a bond? I think a lot of successful people have mentors. They have guides, they have teachers, they have coaches. But then sometimes when you're listening to a conversation, you're like this, You're like, I want someone to be my mentor, but I don't know where to start and how to find them, Like what does that mean? Like how did you connect?
I had? I've had so many mentors. I have mentors every day. I'm a mentor to people, but sometimes my mentees are my mentor. Like I'm always you always got to be open to just listening and learning every day. I learned something. I was in the studio yesterday with a guy who's one of my mentees. Like the way I met I gotta tell you that story later. That's insane. I'll go to that. I'll tell that after first one is I met my mentor I was. This is when he was like my second or third mentor. I met a lot of really really important mentors in my life. When I was about thirteen, I was a musician. I was traveling for music at the time. I had gotten like some buzz and my Space was a thing. Yeah, and I had somehow created a profile where I had a bunch of followers. Okay, so I don't even remember how I did it, but I was a kid. I used to do it in the library at school. And there was this guy, he was a producer. I was obsessed with him. I DM well messaged him the equivalent of DM today. And I remember messaging him and I was like, I love yourself, oh blah blah, and then no response. And I was like, oh, I love you like please blah blah blah. No response. Then I saw, like a few weeks later, he was advertising. He was like, I have studio time available. It's like you know, five hundred dollars or something. And I remember just being like, Okay, the only way I'm going to meet this guy is if I get the studio time. So I say, I'm interested in the studio time. He says, great, come to New York and meet me here. He had no idea where I was. I drove to New York and I drove. We drove like four hours to New York. I get to New York, I get in with him. The first thing I say is I'm like, I don't really need studio time. I just want to talk to you. Please, I'll do anything. I just want to work with you. I'll do whatever you say. But then he was just like this was insane. He said, I'm leaving this weekend. I need my studio book to the whole weekend. It's eight hundred and fifty dollars for the for the two days you need to book it. If you can book it, I'll let you work for me. Who I called every single person I know. I spent every you know, I had like a few hundred bucks then, like I would like beg my friends for money. I had like a few into a few rappers at the time that wanted studio time, and I like figured it out and he was just like he got back. I did it like I just did it in the nick of time, and he was just like, all right, you can work. You start next week. I would drive up every weekend from Virginia to work with him. When from when I was like sixteen seventeen, and we created this bond and it was like he was tough on me. He was like he was like not an easy guy. Like I remember, like I I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music, okay, everything I had been making, and he like took it. He listened to it, he ejected it, and then he threw it out the window. He threw my hard drive out the window, broke into a million pieces. No more hard drive, and he was like not good enough. Start again. And it was like yeah, he was like super sense. It was like karate kid. And I like hated him in the moments for it, but so many he taught me so many things that like I learned and taught me things not to do as a man, and like and you know, it was it was a really special time. And now I just want to jump to this okay.
Yeah, please, I love it.
So I'm you know, this is I don't know, almost ten years ago now, maybe eight years ago, and I'm playing poker at a friend's house and my friend puts me on her story, her Instagram story, and the next day she comes to me and she said, hey, my friend's son saw you on my story and apparently you're like a big deal in music. And she was just like, you have to have him come work for you. And I was like what. She's like, yeah, you have to have him come work for you. I was like, I don't. I don't need anyone else. I already have assistants, interns. And they were like, no, you have to. And this lady is like a very there isn't really you don't get to have a choice. So I was like, all right, I'll meet him. So this kid comes in. He's fifteen years old. He's like like everything, like he's just so excited and he like was so sweet and he reminded him me of me when I was a kid. He was like, I'll do anything, I'll work for you, blah blah blah. I was like, all right, come work for me. He comes and works for me. I still like am spending a lot of time in New York at the time, and so I don't see him. He's just like building a studio for me and has never even met me besides that one day. But he like he does it for like a year. Then like I finally come back to LA and I I'm like, all right, you ready to come into some recording studios and he was like he was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so excited. So like you know, first week, first three sessions, it's his first session is the Weekend. His second seession is Travis Scott, and like his third session was like Maroon five, so it's like he's getting thrown into it. So I remember we're at the first session and I'm just like, be cool, blah blah. It's the weekend, and the Weekend's in there, and we're like all in a room and we're just like singing into microphones like we're chilling, and he's like, I know, his mind's blown. Weekend's his favorite artists at the time, And I remember he when no one's looking, he like sneaks a picture and he accidentally has his flash on it, so it goes and it has the noise too, and so I was like, and when it did it, he went and he threw his phone and somehow the weekend didn't notice, and like, I pulled him aside after and I'm like, dude, you can't do that, blah blah. Fast forward, he's in high school and I say, hey, I'm in the middle of I was in the middle of making Ed Sheeran's Divide album and I was producing the whole thing. And I was like, I need some help on the road. If I talk to your school and get you off, will you come And he was like, yeah, of course. Took him on the road for like two weeks. Mine was blown. Then you know, he starts going to NYU School of Clive Davis School of Music, and he, uh, I have another opportunity. I talk to his teachers. I take him on the road for like a month. We're on tour with Halsey. Then he's coming back to work for me. Now, okay, we've never talked about him making music at all. And we're sitting there one day, it's late at night, and he said, my therapist said, he's going to stop working with me if I don't play you my music. I said, what do you mean, you make music, and he's like, yeah, yeah, I make music. I was like, why didn't you ever play for me. He's like, I was so scared. I was trying to get better. Blah blah blah. He plays me some songs. They're terrible, They're like they're awful, but like I can hear something in him and I know he's so you know, in music, so much of it is like getting an artist to feel comfortable, getting them to believe, getting them to you know, so much of it is your personality, and he had that. He had the it factor. I saw when he was with like artists, he knew how to talk to them, he knew how to make them feel good, just like getting them food, everything. And you know, he spent years just seeing how I did it with artists, and I decided to sign him. I was like, I'm gonna sign you. And he went on this journey and now he's one of the biggest music producers in the world. I mean last year he won you know, Best Record at the Grammys. He's had like five or ten number one records, and it's like this guy started he was so humble, he was fifteen years old. Now he's like probably twenty six, twenty seven, and he did. He just went on the journey. He knew when his time was and he went in and he did it. And it was just like I always tell people, you know, you just got to stick through it. You gotta stick around, you know. And when I first signed him, it wasn't working for him. It took him like a few years for it really to like connect, and he's just like, it's such a fun story for me. That's a brilliant yeah to you know. And I've been fortunate enough to have that a few different times in my life with people, and it was so cool because I had that experience and we're all to pay it forward.
It's just yeah, the interne applications to the Benny Blanco School of music just went through the roof. Now read's gonna get up, dude. I love that. No, it's it's uh, it's it's beautiful to hear that. And and also what I love about that message is when your mentor throws your hard drive outside the window, like it's so easy to be like I'm never going back, Like he's crazy, like I'm never going back. It's that whiplash. Oh yeah, right, like that.
Was my life. That was I was a cleaning toilets with a toothbrush, like that was my real life.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking of when you were describing it. I felt exactly like that. I'm thinking, you know, it's but how do you show up again and recognize this value because I think now we're in a place as well where it's like if something like that happened, we'd be like, oh, get out of there.
It's you know, so I know it did change a little bit, Like.
You wouldn't do that, That's what I mean. You wouldn't throw something's hard drive.
No, I would never do those type of things. I'm not I'm just like not that type of birth. I'm not like a yelling person. I'm not like it's just like not, that's not my way of communication. Like if I was like sad about something, I'd be like, man, I think it's like probably almost worse. Like I'm like i'd be like, ah, why did you do that? You know?
I go quiet.
Yeah, I'd be like you know, you know, if you're ever like in a you know, in an argument in a relationship, Like I'm not a yeller, I'm like a I'm like a oh man, like I wish it was different, like and I can't even find the words usually at the beginning, and I think that's how I am. And I think, like I really learned that you don't have to do that stuff. You It worked for me. It got me to where I am. But it's like, you can, you can be really positive. You can you can be a good influence on someone. You don't have to like you can be hard on someone like I'm I'm definitely like I was definitely hard on on the guy was talking about Blake, I was, I was, I was tough on him, but I was never like I would never be mean. I would never like there's no reason to do that. And what made me keep going back, I don't know. Sheer just will and drive like that. That's like I just was like, I what they're trying. That's what they're trying to do. They want me, they want me to quit, they want me to you know, And I don't know. I always I don't know why I do it, and I wonder, you know, sometimes I sit in bed and I'm like, why am I still working like so hard? Like I still work like I've never done a thing in my life, Like I'm still wake up every morning, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna do this. Then I'm gonna do this, and then I swear I'm gonna get this thing. And I always That's why I try to do different things that I'm not necessarily great at to or not that I'm not great at, but that I don't have. You know, in music, I can go in, I can work with anyone. I can do this, but like, yeah, like making a cookbook, being in a TV show. I've never done these things. So it's like very interesting to me to start at the bottom again and just like try to work my way up. It's fun. I love the climb. Like that's my favorite part about life, even everything. Like in a relationship, when you meet that person at the very beginning, it's like, oh, I gotta like make my way into their heart and they have to make their way into mind, and it's just all about I don't know, getting there is always the best. And then when you're there, I'm just like, all right, what else can I I want to get? I want to get some you know what I mean. Like so when you're like, you know, you do the music stuff and you get there and you're like, I think the only thing where you get there and it just keeps getting better is in a relationship with someone. I think that's like the only time you get there and you're like, Okay, this is cool, like but when every other time I'm just like okay, cool, Like let's go.
What do you think makes relationships different that makes you feel that way as opposed to music because or anything else, any other achievement.
No, well, well I've never been in a relationship the way that I've been in one with music, because it's been like a thirty year relationship, so I have no idea what happens thirty years from now in a relationship. But uh, I just feel like in a relationship is like all these other things I'm doing, there's so many like tentacles, Like it's like you go this way and then you guys explore that together, and you're exploring so many It's basically anything I would explore in my life. I'm exploring with a partner, and so it's like figuring out like you guys are like figuring out things together. And it's so cool when you have like a partner that like I don't know, like I just get the feeling like it's it's awesome when you can have a partner that you look at and you're and it's like the end of the day and you're like, oh, what did you do today? And they tell you and you're like that's so tight, and you're like, I want to do more. Like when you can feed off of each other and just keep growing together, it's like every day is a new experience and you guys are like facing different things together and it's I don't know, it's cool. And I always tell my friend. I was just talking to my friend yesterday about this. I was like, you always have to keep your work and life balance. And I was like, because you can feel it in the music and art if you don't have love or you don't have something. So I always tell them I always feel that it's just like this. I have like rules, like every day, like I only work till like a certain time. I make sure I you know, like cooking is very important to me in therapeutic, so I make sure I do that. Like it's like xanax to me, Like I and I have like all my things that I have to do to make that bound because I do push myself. I shove my head through that wall, just that dry wall if I had to butt at the same time, I try to do all the things. It's like, okay, like every you know, it's like every Sunday, I see my mom no matter what, every single Sunday at the exact same time. It doesn't matter if I like stay up all night, I'll just go right into seeing her. And it's just like we have like a ritual we do. And then I have like my ritual where I go and get my groceries at the farmer's market every weekend. And there's just all these things that help keep you on track and grounded so you can keep doing what you're doing, you know. I mean, I'm sure you have things like that for yourself.
Absolutely. I mean, mind similar, call my mom at the same time every week because she's back in London, yeah, where I was born and raised, and so I have the same time I call her on the weekend. And yeah, there's certain things that have to be done that way, and same with you. And you know, I have a certain time as well that I switch off from work and I'm not looking at my phone. I have a time in the morning I have like three hours of being awake before I'm doing any work. I have to take that time for myself. But what's interesting about what you're saying is that there's a myth obviously that the broken hearted artist can pour into the music, but you're actually saying that if you have love in your life, that can also be felt through music.
Yeah. I think that at times it's good to have a broken heart, but it's also good. You know, there's a time and place for everything. What time you wake up?
I wake up now at five thirty am?
What you wake up before?
Usually it was like I was. This year has been different. This year, I've been really prioritizing five point thirty, But up until last year, it's probably like six to six thirty.
And what time do you go to bed?
I go to bed at like nine pm? Now really yeah, I love my eight hours of sleep. So if I get into bed at nine, I'll be out by nine to fifteen, okay. And then if I wake up at five thirty, I've at like eight hours and thirty year it's asleep, Like, it's.
What are you doing? What are you doing in those first three hours?
Meditating for a lot of it. So I'll wake up at five thirty, I'll be ready to sit down for meditation by like five forty five, or meditate for an hour and a half, and then seven fifteen I'll go for a hike or go to the gym or yeah, usually I hike on the gym from seven to fifteen till about eight fifteen, eight thirty, get ready, and then nine am I'll take my first emails, meetings, all that kind of stuff. So I think you came at ten today, So.
Yeah, hour and a half, eleven hour and a half. Is that's that's a good meditation hour and a half. How do you even stay focused?
Well, I think it's it's a good question. And I always say to people that when I started, it wasn't one and a half hours like you start up with doing like seven minutes, yeah, twenty minutes, yeah, forty minutes. And what I found was just in the same way as if you go to a trainer at the gym, you'd hope that they work out more than you. So as someone who teaches meditation and helps people with mindfulness, I believe that as a trainer and as a coach, I have to do it for more time and deeper time, because otherwise If I'm only doing it for seven minutes and I'm mentoring you and you're only doing it for seven minutes, then how will I ever have an experience to guide you deeper? And so I've been doing that since I was eighteen now, so it's been a long time. And when I was a month for three years, it was longer, and that's where I got that deepest experience of practice for it. So I feel like if I didn't have those three years of going really deep into the practice, I may not have the focus I have today.
You're a month for three years? Yeah, like a real month? Same Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've never met I'd have to show you. I've never even met a month.
Yeah I'm not anymore, but yeah, how long you still haven't met? Where?
Where? When was this?
So this was twenty ten to twenty thirteen and I was among across India, Uken, Europe. I traveled between the three and I shaved head, I wore robes, I slept on the floor. We meditated for like four to eight hours, sometimes a day, and so.
It was a standard standard Sandy stanturday eight hour meditation.
Sometimes when do you do anything else? Well, sometimes you didn't that was the point.
In eight hour meditation sometime, isn't that sleeping? Yeah?
I mean you can count it as the same thing. We sleep for eight hours.
Yeah, I you know, my heart. The hardest part for me with meditating is that I instantly fall asleep. I can fall asleep very easily.
So I'll tell you why though. The reason why that happens during meditation or any practice of that sort is your body and mind are finally coming into sync, and so it's your body saying I need sleep right now.
Yeah.
And so if you're falling asleep during meditation, it's not a bad thing. It's just you've literally because what's happening when you're not falling asleep is your mind saying we got to do more, Yeah, we got to do more. And then finally, when you become present, you fall asleep because your body's saying I've done enough today.
Where do you do these meditators?
I want to do a meditation. We'll take you too afterwards.
I want to do a meditation with you.
All right, we'll do it.
I want to I want to learn I I you know, I've done it. There was like a time in my life when when I was going through rough patch and then like, you know, I was going to therapy and I was meditating and stuff, and it actually helped me so much. It helped me.
What was that during What were you going through?
When everything first started happening for me all at once, it was like really overwhelming. I was, you know, for the first like year or two, I was like, Oh, this is awesome, and then like it really hit me because you know, so many different responsibilities and people asking you for money, and like I just didn't grow up in a way like I had never I didn't even imagine, you know, I was I was young when I made it, so I was like I didn't really I didn't even realize about like money. And then I'm like, oh my god, all like I have this, what do I do with the like? And then it's like I have all the success and people need things from me and people want and it was just too much. And where I grew up like I didn't, like, I don't know, I didn't go to like therapy as a kid. I didn't I didn't know about any of that. I didn't know what anxiety was. I thought like everyone I was like, oh everyone, the room spins for everyone when you like sit down and you're like doing something. I just there were so many things I didn't understand, and I thought it was just my body. And I never talked to anyone about it, and I was like, oh, they were just things like I learned to live with. And I remember, like I just remember exactly where I was. I was like walking in to get a new cell phone. I lost my mind and I and I and I just couldn't handle it anymore. And I remember like a week later, I went home to Virginia where my mom was living at the time, and I remember I was like in the bathroom and I was like, I'd like I don't, I can't do that. I was like I can't do this anymore, Like I don't, I can't. I had this feeling, like this crazy feeling of anxiety that was like crippling, and it was like I couldn't do anything. And I was just like I I was like in the bathtub, and I remember like calling from when I was crying and I was like, I don't know, I can't do this. I don't know what to do. I like, I can't even explain the feeling. I didn't know how to articulate the words. I was like, I can't even explain what I'm feeling to you. I feel like I'm going crazy. And you know, in my family, you know, there's some people have some issues, and I was always scared of myself falling into some similar things that are in my family, that run in my family. And I just remember somebody was somebody got me to go to therapy and they and I met this guy and he's my therapist today still to this day. This was it's been my therapist for almost twenty years. And I remember like I first went there and I had like all these things. I was like, I used to like go and I'd have to like hold my head like this, and I was like, well, I can't let go on my arm because if I let go my arm, my neck's gonna fall off and I'm gonna be paralyzed. Like I had like create like I was so in deep and I never thought I was going to get out. And I remember I started. I used to go six days a week, and then it was like three days a week, then it was two days, then it was one, and it was CBT, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy, and it's like kind of like a type of therapy where you use your words and it's not I was very I didn't want to do medicine and I didn't, you know, because I also had in my family there's some drug abuse and stuff and I I I was like, I don't want to do this with medicine. I want to figure out how to do it the right way. And at that time I wasn't. Now I'm like a workout fanatic. That's like my new meditation nice. But before that, I was like, well how do I do this? And I started, you know, my therapist recommended meditation to me, and he had this really easy way of doing it and it was so easy and it wasn't it wasn't even like anything specific. He was like just you know, he would just like it was the most basic form of meditation. I would do it with either with a spoken word thing or just like he'd be like, find the most calming music you like, and I would and he would just be like, no matter what, just every day he was like, for twenty to thirty minutes, just sit down, put a pillow on your head, try not to be too comfy where you'll fall asleep. Set a timer and just do it. And I remember doing it and at first it was impossible, when I was like in my shit, it was impossible. And then eventually I started like looking forward to that time every day and it really just helped me a lot. And then like in twenty eighteen, and then I got like it was probably like a year or so of and this was probably two thousand and nine, maybe this was happening. And then like then I like got back on track and everything was great. And then in twenty eighteen, I really like working out became like my new meditation like and it was just like I have to do it, and it was so funny because I went so many years without doing it. And I'm sure in your life you went years without doing meditation, and now, like what happens if you randomly mist do you ever miss one? Ever? Like just like you're.
Touching up, I won't. Yeah, I don't meditate at five thirty every day, Like it's not I can't keep that up because on planes were traveling, like our lifestyles don't allow it, and so I will be meditating in the evening. I'll be like, what the quality, Well, I find that for me, the quality dip So the last week was one of those weeks I was I had like three massively late nights in a row on the weekend because of events and parties and things and things that I was going to and I couldn't wake up early, and then I still had a full day of work, and then in the evening I was catching up with it, and I found that I didn't have the time and space that I need in order to feel really aligned. And what I mean by that is I can still operate. No one else will really know it's the difference, but I know it's the difference where I'm like, I feel like I have less energy today. I feel like I have less clarity today, and I feel like I'm not as aligned is the best word I can think of, as I like to be. And so it doesn't really affect anyone else, but it does affect me, and I know what level I can race to, which is what you're probably saying when you're working out, Like when you miss a day of working out, how do you feel now?
Yeah? Yeah, you know, I thought of something when you're seah, please, so you're scene as like, you know this guy who's like mindfulness help this like isn't it, aren't you? Sometimes do you feel like I have to be so perfect all the time?
You know, it's so interesting you say that, Bennie. I used to think that when I started out, that that's what I had to be. And then I've let go of that pressure personally, Like I let go of that, and I'm just like I'm saying to you now, I don't wake up every day medica. Sometimes I'm meditating on planes, in ubers, on trains. Sometimes I'm doing it while I'm falling asleep. Like, I'm okay with opening up about that because to me that A, I hope, well, A, it's the truth. B I hope that that actually helps people realize that they don't have to have the perfect regime, yeah, every single day. Because I used to think that, and all I did was put more pressure on myself, like I'd stress myself out. So I'm more comfortable today saying I believe in meditation, I value mindfulness, I value all these things. But it doesn't look perfect in my life and it won't in yours either. Yeah, and it doesn't in anyone's whoever's life. We think it looks perfect in is a myth.
Yeah, Sometimes you get upset, like if you get like you're like a guy who's like not allowed to get upset, like something happens like it's you know, I find that what.
Do you know, Benny, what are you trying to say?
Yeah, exactly.
No.
I find sometimes in work, like you know, when you get to the top of like your field, people are only expecting like a perfect wreck. Like like if you're like, say you're like Lebron James, Like if you don't have if you score like twenty instead of like forty in the game, they're like, oh, what's happening in Lebron?
You know?
And it's this like it's this pressure that I know exists for people, and I just wanted to know.
No. No, I definitely have felt that pressure, and I think I've removed it from myself. That's what I realized that Ultimately, it was a pressure I was putting on myself. It wasn't actually from anyone else. It was me thinking whereas if I was just honest and transparent and authentic with people, then all of a sudden, the pressure is off. Yeah, and I can also be a human because I am one. Yeah, And I think I think there's so much more of a joy in embracing our imperfections and flaws and recognizing that it's even with coaching people by doing I'm sure you fill this with music, Like when you work with a artist to produce their album is like what I do with coaching clients. So coaching clients come to me and say, hey, can we solve this problem whatever else? And maybe someone's coming to you saying, hey, Bennie, can you make this album with me? And before I used to think, God, if I don't say something profound in the first hour of meeting someone, then they're not going to think I'm worthy or valuable. And I started to realize I was like that blocked me from saying something worthy. It didn't allow me to be a channel or a vessel. I was now forcing some manufactured version. And even if I did, now, I was just setting myself up for more pressure every time we met, rather than just having a flowing exchange with someone. How do you feel like when an artist comes and says, Hey, Bennie, I want you to produce my whole album. Where was the time it switched from pressure to just flow.
I never had pressure because I don't care, because I treat every experience, like I'll be like this. You know, some people when you get in the studio there's something, or you're a TV set or you're on here, they're just like, Oh, we got to get it all. We have to get this done today. We have to. For me, I'm just as happy if we were to come in, Like if I came into this podcast today and you're like, hey, I'm sorry, like the equipment's not working, then I'd be like, Oh, let's just like chill, walk around your thing, because that's what was meant to happen that day. And I'm not stressing because you know what, eventually we'll get like an interviewer, Eventually we'll get a song or you know. I I'm a big like procrastinator in work, Like when someone comes over, I'm like, you like to eat? What do you want to eat? You want to eat something? All all that stuff is part of it. It's part of what's gonna happen later, you know what I'm saying. Or you like, let's say you have a client someone like you're trying to get to the bottom or the root of a problem. You're gonna have to disarm them and get them to chill.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's not gonna happen through anything else. What's your do you have? Do you have a setup process for every person or do you really go with the flow with each individual.
This stuff got caffeine in it.
It has natural caffeine from tea.
I'll take a sip of it. Yeah it's green tea. Green Tea's really caffeinated, right.
Yeah, yeah, it's not.
You drink caffeine.
I only in the tea form.
Only in the tea form. Yeah, yeah, I don't only in the tea form.
As in, like I drink ubble tea and I drink this tea, but I don't. That's good, thanks man, appreciate it. My wife and I put it together. So natural.
Go buy his drink. How do you come up with the name?
It stands for just you and I. So its a way of trying to bring people together through sharing a moment. How's caffeine hitting? Is that right?
I'm taking him little little. I don't drink caffeine.
Yeah, neither do I apart from tea.
So yeah, I don't drink. I don't drink. I'm not like a caffeine person. I wake up and I'm like ready to rip me too. I wake up, I like pop out of bed, wake up early? Yeah yeah, like uh six usually six ten to six thirty.
Yeah. What gets you in the creative zone? Like you always like cook it? Let's let's talk about open wide for a second. Like creativity. I think people look at you and they think, oh, he's musically creative, but then the rest of his life must be. But no, it's like your creative and cooking your creative and music obviously to my relationships can be creative too, Like is it just something that was cooking always a passion?
Yeah, it's just like do you cook it all or no?
So I'm the exact opposite cooking kitchens and cooking scares me. My wife is a plant based chef and recipe development.
Really, oh my god, this is all she does? What has she always cooked?
Yes? Oh my god, she's loved it since she was and she's a dietician in nutrition is what's her name? Roddy Roddy's name r A d hr Roddy and okay, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I gotta see it. Yeah, I'm obsessed with all that. One of my friends, uh, the person who I wrote my book with her name is Jess. She has like a she's predominantly like a plant based chef, sure for Martha Stewart for years and she's incredible, And I I, it's funny, like my books are always crazy for I eat very healthy unless I'm being like a naughty boy.
What's what's noisy? How bad?
Oh? Naughty is like you wake up and there's crumbs and glaze all over you don't even know what it is. But mostly I'm I'm I'm pretty. I'm like during during the week, you know, because I lost a lot of weight. I lost like fifty pounds consciously, yes, uh yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, honestly, at the beginning, I was going into a weight loss challenge because my brother gained a bunch of weight. And then when I went and we like did the DESA scan thing, I was thirty three percent body fat and I was like, am I fat? And I just didn't even I didn't even know that I was being, you know, unhealthy. And then like that's when I started working out and I got obsessed with it, and it was like I wasn't necessarily trying to lose weight, but then like once I did, I was like, whoa this is cool and I'm one of those people. Now, Like when I lost the first weight, it wasn't trying to lose weight, it was just like trying to be healthy. And then I felt like the feeling every time I went to the gym, I was like, whoa, I have no anxiety like after this and I'm not thinking about anything else except like what's happening. And that was very rare for me. So I was like, I gotta chase this feeling. And then now I like, you know, me and my friends we do like little like weight loss challenges. We're like, okay, whoever can lose the most weight and like one month or whoever can do this. I just like to I like to challenge my comfort zone.
Yeah.
I like to just like push myself in any way possible. But yeah, no I eat. I eat like I do. You eat pretty healthy?
Yeah, very well.
Because of her.
Because of her, she'd be like before I met her was la Pizzas midnight burgus. So that's my favorite.
What do you guys eating? What'd you eat today?
What did I have in the morning? I had like avocado mushroom toast in the morning, And did you make it or she did no, no, no, she did.
So if she's not in town, do you.
Ordering I'm ordering in by I'm ordering healthy.
You're ordering healthy because you're scared she might be filming, you.
Know, yeah exactly. That's actually say. I'll say to my team, I'll be like, guys, just you know, let's order this because my wife's all right, yeah, you'll be a little not She's been a good influence on me because before I met her, I was addicted to sugar, like I was addicted to chocolates. People have that. I had a message because my mom.
Yeah, I don't have this. I don't have the sweet too.
That's lucky, man.
I'm much rather like a huge slice of bread or a taco, like I really like like one bite of a dessert like I always want. My wife does I always want one bite like at the end of the day, like I always have like a date or something, or like a piece of fruit, like I love that, But like I don't like the I don't know, like occasionally like a cookie or something if it's not too sweet. I don't like really sweet things. They make my stomach hurt. Like so I like there's a few, like I like, what's that thing? When it's uh, it's like meringue Pavlova because it's not too sweet and it's like light Pavlova makes me.
How did you cub your cravings? Things you love? Like when you're doing a challenge, how do you cub your crava?
Just shut it off? I love I love like I love a challenge, just any challenge. If someone's like, I bet you can't walk twenty five miles right now, I'm like, yes, I can, and I'll do it, like I just love I love that feeling of doing something. And they do it with my friends. I work out with my friend. If I didn't have a trainer, I only pay. The only reason I see a trainer is because I'm so crazy that I was would be like, oh, I can't waste the money, like so I gotta go. But if I if it was just up to me, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to do it. It's just that someone's you know, or my friends are like, let's go to the gym. We gotta go together, and we work out together, and I like, you know, coming back to food. I like anything. I love community. I love hosting. I love, like there's there's nothing better to me than like creating like an experience for people. I don't care what the medium is, Like creating some experience where like when someone leaves, they're just like whoa, and they're telling all their friends and like for me, it's it's just like you're you know, this is like uh, looking to give someone an orgasm face at all times, like every moment like it, because that's what it is. It's when you when someone tastes your food, they just like open their mouth and they put in You just want them to be like like you just want that feeling that when someone plays a song, you want them to be like, oh my god, that thing is crazy. You know, like after you like change someone's life and they can do a meditation where they can like put their leg behind their head, they're just like, oh, thank you, you brought me to a higher sense of being. Like it's it's that's what we're looking for, yes, And and I'm always looking to make my friends happy. I'm always you know, if someone comes to my house and they have like, you know, a hamburger and they're like, I love this. This is my favorite hamburger. I know that, so then I'm thinking, like the next time they come to, like, oh, I'm going to like make sure they have that for them. And you know, my grandma when I was a kid, one of my grandma's she you know, she she was not wealthy by any means. She grew up in it, like you know. She her place was in Section eight housing and we would go visit her, and she had a lot of grandkids. And if we went over there and one time we like had a junie and we were like, we love this. It would be there every time they ever went. And she had so many grandkids, so everyone had every single thing, and she would she would, you know, she wouldn't eat for the week to make sure that like everyone had their things, and because it made her so happy the joy she would have when everyone was coming in and all the things were there. We'd be like, oh, she has this. And and that's what I like to do. And I love to create, like whether it's like the perfect napkin, the perfect like meal, the perfect music playing at the same time, like you know, And that's what I did with this book. I was like trying to teach people how to have like the perfect dinner party. That's because I was like, Okay, you know some people, they might not know what to do, Like you're nervous in the kitchen. This book is gonna make it so like surefire away. You want something easy that looks good, great, you want to have a dinner party, Like do you know what type of wine to serve? I don't know. Do you want to smoke weed with your people? Does weed make you anxious? Who knows? Is it midnight and you want everyone to leave because you got to wake up at five point thirty the next day, but you still want them to love you. I'm gonna teach you how to kick them out, you know. And it's just like I love that. It's that whole thing. And it's just like that moment of just like getting a bunch of people together. And I love getting to people together that don't necessarily go together. And it's like someone is like a musician and they're sitting next to a man who wrote a book. And I mean one time we were at my house and I remember I was my mother was sitting here, and Sissa was sitting here, and a man on the other side actually makes rocket chips that go to space. And to me, it was just so cool to see them all talking and not caring about, you know, what was going on, and there was no egos and there was everyone's just having a good time. And food is like the best social lubricant in the world because it's like you can immediately talk about something you're like, oh, you like food. It's just like the automatic conversation starter.
Yeah, yeah, next time you come over, we're gonna have to do food for sure. Because yeah, that's it's a big love language for my wife. She loves she always that's her love language. I want to cook, she wants to Yeah, you guys would have you guys would have a blush. She loves cooking and creating recipes. And also same with you create community. And it's actually funny to say that. I'm trying to think of a book that you just reminded me of that was based on a restaurant that did that and they recently converted it. It became a eleven Madison Park in New York, and it was a restaurant that tried to give that level of care and that you feel in a home. Yeah, and so open wide your book. I loved I love that it's not just a cookbook. I love that. It's it's to build community and had all of that, because I think that's what people miss out on, right. We think that hosting is about all the fancy stuff, and it's like, it isn't it.
It's not about any of that the food. You know. My godfather always said this thing. He would always say, you know, and when I was a kid, I never even understood it, but I so understand it now. He always used to say, we'd always figure out where we were going to dinner, and he goes, it doesn't matter, it's about the rap and now, and and we were like, what do you mean. He's like, it's just about the rap. He's like, the only thing, it's just to get everyone together. If the food's great, that's awesome. But it's about hanging with your friends, laughing till you cry, you know, falling in love with someone, fall you know. I've I've had the opportunity to have dinners where like so many things have happened to people. You know, someone's found the person they date, somebody's you know, started a company, somebody's laughed so hard they cry, you know, and it's that's that's what I'm trying to do. And I love you. Do you ever you have dinners with people and.
It's one of my favorite things as well.
Yeah, it's my favorite thing to do. I don't want to go out to a night club. No, I want to like sit at home with my friends till two in the morning. Well, for you, you can't do that.
I can do that. I can do that.
Now what happens? What happens if you stay up late? Do you just sell? But you can bust?
No, man, I can stand when you choose not to always do it because I love sleep.
Okay, when you were out uh late this week? And what time? What time were you out?
Yeah? Probably probably get in the bedroom one or two?
Okay? And you and you then what time do you sleep till? Oh?
No, that the problem was I was still waking up because my buddy cloaks. So why that I was wake up at the same time.
No matter what I wake up at, like six in the morning, that's what matter. When I go to bed. Yeah, I don't go to bed as early as you though. Yeah, I'm like if in my dream world, I go to bed at like eleven thirty twelve, and then I wake up at in real world six, six thirty and then on the weekends. I really don't sleep a lot, but I don't need a ton of sleep. But I know, I'm sure you're going to say that's terrible.
For no, not to man, I'm not going to say anything terrible.
Its for your works, but you should I should be getting more sleep, right.
I mean, scientists say seven to nine hours a day.
What else do scientists exactly?
I don't know, but that's I mean, that's what I'm said. I but yeah, my whole I need a I know I need a and I can survive on I can do fine. Then six, well, five I love, like six and a half is my life is a sweet one.
Yeah, chef's kiss. Anything over seven I feel strain.
That's good though, but then don't follow it seven, like, don't push it. I think that's a big part of it too. Right, So my wife talks a lot about this, this idea of being able to listen to your body, and I feel like so many of us are like, God, I gotta wake up at five thirty now because Jay said he wakes up at five thirty, Or I gotta wake up at four because Elon Musk wakes up at four or you know, Benny said he wakes up at six tens. You know, so whatever it is. And it's like, well, creativity is not based on those things. That's just what works for your body and your mind is what works for my body on my mind. So I think, you know, but you seem to have a lot of like not just community, but you seem to have like a lot of the same people around you, loyal friends like that seemed to be a big part of your How have you continue to be able to build that as you grow and make it? It sounds like all your friends love challenges and growth, because a lot of people who are listening sometimes feel their friends are not wanting to grow, They're not wanting to try new things.
But it's so fun you do it. Some people have pushed to that, and some people have pushed me in other ways, and like that's the that's that's what it's all about, you know. To me, I've just had some of my friends for so long because it's hard to find people that are on your and I think it's harder and harder as you get older. You know, a lot of my friends, most of my friends I knew since I was young, and then I have like, you know, like a new friend for me is like five years. Like I'd be like, I'd be like, whoa, yeah, this is like one of my new friends. Like most of my friends are eight, ten, twenty. Yeah. Do they live in the city too or all different places? Some of my friends are like some of my friends have very regular jobs, and and you know, some of them I only get to see once or twice a year in person because of their job. You know, my friend was just out here. He comes every year for you know, like a month and a half towards the end of the year because he's a therapist and he works, you know, in Virginia and he can't really travel that much. So then we get to see each other then. And then you know, my other friend, his wife is becoming a doctor and they've had to have residencies and all these other places, and he works for like Capital one or something, and he we don't get to see each other in person very often, but when we do, it's like we saw each other yesterday, you know, and we talk all the time. And then some of my friends are in the same world as me, so they get it. Some of them are in entertainment, and I just love bringing My friend group is very eclectic, Like it's like all different types of people, and I love putting people that wondn't normally be in a room together in a room to see what happen.
What's the randomness too? Is it the person building walkeet ships and then your mom and then Sissy.
It's just like people, you know. It's very common for me to go out to dinner and have like one person be twenty two and then the next person be like seventy, and that's not and having it not be someone's mom or dad, like having it just be someone that's my friends, you know. And because I've met so many, I'm very interested in people and I love I love meeting creative people, whether that means they're creative professionally, whether creative in their mind, whether they you know. Yeah, I just love I love that feeling of getting into a conversation with someone.
Yeah. I also think multi generational friendships are so powerful, Like I was talking to someone about that, Like me and my wife have a couple friend of us and they're in their late sixties and they're some of our favorite people that hang out with like, I feel like I learned so much, I grow so much again, so much perspective. They've lived thirty years more life than I have. And I think that's it's so interesting how we may spend time without parents, but we're not necessarily having friends that are in a different decade of their life. But how powerful it can be to be with someone.
A lot of people don't even know their parents like that, Like even if you're like close with your parents, like like, how close are you with your mom?
I'm pretty close to them, okay.
But like you don't know, there's so many things you don't know about her, Like you don't know like how she felt the first time she got her heart broken. You don't know, like if she ever cheated on someone, like you don't like Sometimes I for me, I'll sit my mom down and I just ask her, Like every I'm like, what drugs have you taken? And I'm like, how did it make you feel? Because my parents got divorced, I was like, how did you know you wanted to get divorced? What did you feel? And I always I try to do that because one of my friends started recording his dad when his dad got sick and he asked him every question you ever wanted to ask him, because it is so crazy you're so close to this person that you really don't know, like you really like, we really don't even know our parents that well because you don't, you don't ask them those type of things and no one does. Like, And it's also that time where I remember, like your parent's gospel is just like the end all be all when you're a kid, and then all of a sudden, you're like fifteen or sixteen, you're like, wait, you're just a human. That was a mess up on you. You just lied, like I caught you in that lie. But like until you're like fifteen or sixteen or something, you can't even fathom that, and then like you realize it's cool. I'm so thankful that I get to, like, you know, talk to my parents and my family now like as an adult and be like, Yo, what were you feeling like like when you went through this, and like how did you raise us like that? And is it so hard to do this? And it's cool? I like that feeling.
Yeah, I did something similar a few years ago. I felt that way with the podcast, where I was like learning about people I'd never met and so we were celebrating my sister's thirtieth birptist. Who's me, my mom and my sister, my younger sister, and I just started interviewing my mom at dinner and there was no we didn't record it. It was just us three and I learned so much. So my mom was studying for her exams while because she was born and raised in Yemen, while there were Yemeny soldiers fighting British soldiers on her roof, like you know, and I was like, I had no idea, and she just casually drops that as if it's like no, And I'm like, Mom, you've realized that's not normal.
You should interview your mind.
You need to end everything about it. It's been it's been on my mind.
Interviewing your family is so crazy.
Yeah, because you're right, and I think everyone I would love to do it because I want everyone to do it. My wife was my first have a guest on the show. Really yeah, yeah, because that was a big part of it for me. It was like, I feel like, you're so right. We don't really deeply know our family. We think we know them, Yeah, we think we know them. We assume that we know them.
Yeah, I used to do this thing on my uh well, I still do it on all of my albums, where like the last song on my album has like a spoken word section of it's like over instrumental of each person in my family and so far. I did my mom and my dad and I asked them all these questions, and it's crazy to know because I basically I asked them questions for like an hour and then I take like the best like thirty seconds, and it was both my parents wound up talking the most about like their divorce, and it was like so interesting to see both sides of it because I have now forever in time, I have my mom's version and my dad's version. And then like I just you know, I'm putting out a new album and I interviewed my brother for his version of it now and it's.
Like that's beautiful.
Yeah, it's fun. It's fun, and it's like, you know, it's emotional, and it's like, whoa, it's cool to hear both sides of everyone's side of an event.
What did you? Yeah, I think you're so right, because yeah, we often think there's only one truth in one story and then all of a sudden there's three, And what was the biggest thing you learned from hearing your mom and dad's version of divorce? Like, what was something that surprised you something you were like, wow, I did not recognize that when I was growing up.
I think that it made them both better people to get out of the relationship. And I think like, at first it seemed like my parents were not fans of each other. At first it was like crazy, but now they're friends. I mean they haven't been married for you know, twenty something years, but but yeah, now we all like go to dinner together and like go on vacation. But you know, it wasn't always that way, and it's it's cool to see like where it started to where it is now. And I do think like me and my brother like we're a big like our success was like a big catalyst on getting like everyone together because it forced us to get together. And then no, it's cool. I don't know, yo, life is so crazy, like the way you know, the way you meet people and the way people come in and out of your life. And someone you may not even like really know, could become like your wife or someone like that's like you despise could become your best friend, and it's just it's very interesting how how life plays out. And I find that more and more as I get older. And my mom always used to be like, should be like, you know, when you get older, you're gonna and I used to be like, what are you taught? But it's so true, just like over and over again, I'm learning something new every day.
Yeah, yeah, it's so true, man, Benny. I could talk to you for hours, genuinely, like we could go on and on and on, but I wanted to make sure is there anything that we haven't talked about before we go to the final five, which is the way we end in the interviews. Is anything we haven't talked about that you've really wanted to touch on that's on your heart or mind or something.
That what's your five thing? What's that you that?
Yeah, we can do that.
We'll start with that.
It's a final five that we end every interview with of all time, and that same questions. It's the same, well, same four questions. One of them I usually play with, same three or four questions and one of them I usually play with for the person, and uh, these are your final five. They have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum Oh my god. Yeah, and then I may ask you to go on because I usually break my rule. But okay, here we go, all right, Benny Balcot, these are your final five. So the first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?
Don't be afraid to fail?
Who told you and how have you practiced it?
I can't remember who told me, but someone did tell you. Yeah. It wasn't something that no, no, no, somebody told me it. But I will tell you this. I always say this this summer because people come up to me all the time and they're just like, oh man, you don't miss you did this, you did that. And I'll talk to someone. You know. One of my friends was going through a hard time recently. It was like his first failures, and I remember talking to him and I said, I said, you don't think I've failed a million times. I said, you look at someone like Michael Jordan. Okay, he's taking like so many shots, He's missed so many shots. Do you remember any of those? No, you remember him swishing it and walking back with his tongue out. Nobody's sitting there being like, uh, jay, I saw that you know back in like two zousand and eight that rap career didn't really work out for you. No, they're like, Jay, Wow, every get you got Michelle Obama on you. So I always tell people like, it doesn't it doesn't matter, don't be afraid to fail. Nobody's even gonna remember it. There's only and if someone's literally tallying your failures, they're psycho.
Yeah, well I said, yeah, No one remembers the missing. No, no one remembers the missing. If you keep going, yeah, if you stop at the miss, but you gotta keep going, you gotta keep going. A question on the two, what is the worst advice you've ever had or received.
I was going around playing my music for people, and I had just switched my style up because I used to make I like, originally made music that sounded like I was copying Timbaland, sounded like I was copying Pharrell, sounded like I was trying to be someone else. And I remember I had just made music that didn't sound like anything. It sounded so weird, it was so different. It wasn't like what was going on. I remember I went into a meeting and someone's like, nobody makes music like this. They're like you gotta you gotta fit in more, like and that just like made me go the opposite way. Then I was like, now I know I gotta do the crazy stuff because at least I just want someone when I used to go in and play music for them to be like, I've never heard anything like this, Like this is so weird. This is not gonna work, because that's when everyone likes something. Usually that means it's not gonna work. You know, when when some people are unsure about something, that's when it's usually gonna work. So I don't know, someone told me to fit in more and I didn't really vibe with that.
That's that's a great answer. I think it's so interesting. When you're young, everyone tells you to fit in, and when you get older, everyone says stand out. Yeah, it's like, well wait a minute, I have to wear uniform coming on time, and now all of a sudden, I've got to find who I am. Yeah, and it's such your contradiction of course. Yeah, that's great. On two, all right, Question number three, what's something that you used to value that you no longer value success?
Are you to really care about getting that number one song? Getting that thing and I feel like I I feel like I did everything I wanted to do, and now I feel like everything's like the cherry on top of the Sunday now. So I'm just having so much fun trying new things, and of course I want them to be successful and stuff, but like I don't have I and I do still like work and have a drive and want to do it, but I want to do it more for me and less for like other people. I used to want to do it because I was like I have to be number one, I have to be the best in the world. I have to be this. And now I just get to wake up and I'm like, Okay, I already did the things I want to do, So like I want to make a cookbook, I want to do it. I want to do this, and I like really want it to be the best and I want it to be awesome. But it's something that I want to do and I'm putting like that pressure on myself. It's not like for other people anymore, and yeah, I think I don't know, it's I and I always had a strange feeling with success too. I was always like kind of like ashamed of it for some reason or I'd be like, oh, I don't, I don't. I don't deserve that. I'm probably gonna get like cancer now because like I did because I did well, So like I don't deserve this, and like somebody else, somebody else deserves this more, And.
Like how did you overcome that doubt? Because I think a lot of people feel that way. People are coming to money, fame, even a bit of success and we start going out, crap, this wasn't meant to be.
Yeah, it's still I still it's still there for me that that part. I still have that feeling a little bit, a little bit of the imposter syndrome. But it's so funny because I'm so confident at the same time. But you know, sometimes I do have that feeling where I'm just like, ah, like why do I deserve this? Like what did I do? And like there's so many more people who are more talented, and I'll like start questioning stuff like that in my head. Yeah, and you're still working for Yeah, every day we're working through everything, and the success thing, like it's not fully let go, but it's like it's something that like I catch myself more and more like just really wanting to do the things because like it's not a competition always anymore, and it used to be like such a competition with me in my head with that, and I try to find like other things that are competitions, and like competitions like that are like friendly and there's not like a huge thing at the end of the tunnel for it beautiful.
Question number four. What's something that you think you learn from your parents' relationship that affects your relationships moving forwards, Like something that you'll take as a lesson on what to do or what not to do.
I don't think my parents listen to each other. And I think all relationships, whether it's romantic, business friendships, you just have to listen to each other. It's like the easiest thing in the world just be a listener and it's okay to be wrong. And I like that's that's also another thing that like I've really come to terms with. Like it's like I always would find myself like wanting to be right about the thing, wanting to be this, and it almost makes you look better if you're like, you know what I was, I was wrong and stop trying to like defend a thing to the end that you know you're wrong about so it's like I was wrong, I was wrong, and then like everyone's happy if you just say if you're like I was wrong, I messed up. I messed up instead of like trying, it's like putting shame around being wrong, and it's okay to be wrong, Like it's okay to fuck up sometimes, Like you know.
That's great, listen and it's okay to be wrong.
Yeah, it's okay to be wrong.
Fifth and final question Bennybelss to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one lure that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
You know, I just I wish there was a world where just everyone could find a way to just like fit in and just like not be It's okay to get upset sometimes. I just wish people could talk things out and find a way to like love each other and find I don't know, find a way to like live together. You know, it just like killed me, Like anytime. It's so hard for me to ever watch any of the news and it's just like, oh, I'm like it just like crushes me watching people fight and people like violence, and it's like crazy, like I don't understand. I just like don't even unders I don't know people, you know, to like for someone to do something so bad, to like an innocent person, Like anytime I see things like that, I just don't understand. And I, you know, I in my ideal world, there's I don't even know if it's a law. I don't know. People just be nice to each other and just be like caring and consider it and understand that it's okay to not be the same as somebody else, and it's okay to not have the exact same opinion as somebody else, but you guys can coexist and live and just like, I don't know, it's like I always have these like idealistic thoughts in my head and it's very hard to create those because we're so far gone as a planet. You know, there's like so much greed and there's so much I don't know. I've always been like just like happy, whether it was like I had a lot of money or no money. And I've always found that when me and my friends listen to each other and work together and talk things out, like every like nothing can go wrong, and if it can go if it does go wrong, then you talk about it and you make it better. And I don't know what's the best law. You heard someone say.
Oh, that's a good question. I think a lot of people share the sentiment that you're saying, like, I think a lot of us feel like that, like we want to live in a more just, happier, loving kind of world. I think two that stand out to me. Daniel Caluia came on, He's the guy. Yeah, yeah, So Daniel came on and he said that for everyone that you judged or criticized, the law would be that you'd have to then whoever you judge and criticize, you'd have to go live as them for a day or a year or something like that. I likes something it was like it was like a fixed thing. And then Trevor Noah had one. His one was there'd be a rule that every day someone's bank balance in the planet could go to zero. So it could be you, your friend, your family, And how differently you'd behave with people knowing that that could be you one day, it could be your mom, it could be your dad, it could be your friend, And that way you'd be more conscious of what it would feel like to be around people who don't have a lot.
Yeah, I changed mine free weed foreveryone.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's not that's not a new one. No, that's great.
Is weed and unlock your creativity? Does it make you anxious? As you were mentioning for other people earlier?
I love smoking? Yeah? You are you allowed to know?
I don't. I don't know.
You don't do it that.
I'm not allowed to.
You don't do anything. You ever have a sip of alcohol? No, not anymore. When do you cuar? When you were a monk?
Fifteen years ago? Yeah, fifteen sixty years what?
What? What's your what do you do? What's your wild thing?
My wild thing is I know, No, I'm just kidding, No, what is it? I'm a super I guess my wildness coming. I'm super competitive. So if I'm playing a sport that I'm good at.
No, give me. I'm like, what's your vice?
My vice is sugar, man, It's like it's taking a sugar Yeah. Literally, yeah, my advice is sugar. My vice is I like to work hard my vices.
So, but you don't have anything, so you don't.
No, it's not that I don't have anything. I've worked on it hard.
Yeah. No, drinking, no weed, no psychedelics, no, no, i'd be I saw your eye.
I'm always open to exploring anything that would. I mean, we was something that I did a lot on my teams, so it's not something I've never done.
I want to know the team, the team you was why?
Yeah, the team was wild. I think that's what it is like growing up in London too, Like you start drinking very early, you start playing around with drugs and stuff very early, and so we just had access to a lot of things. So I feel like it's not that I don't It's that I've done a lot in my teens, and so it's not that I have a again and I have nothing against it. I think I'm always open to things that have medicinal or healing benefits. So I've always been opened. A lot of my clients will do MDA, do eboga, do ioas, and so I'm very familiar with these things, and I'm always working alongside clinical neuroscientists that I take advice from for my clients and clients own explorations. So I'm very aware and like to be educated more and get more experience. But I would do it if I felt there was healing that that could reward me with for sure. I'm very open at anything that has healing powers. You take any supplements, I take a lot of. I take twenty settlements a day.
All right, let's tell you about Yeah.
So I'm taking I'll show you my drawer later. It's likely two twenty tablets today. But it's like B twelve, magnesium, d C K, probiotics, gut supplements, creatine like a mill. You take them because I really do feel a difference. I find you say, creatine, that's like from the eighties. Yeah, but it works. Like so what's really interesting is that I work with We've had the doctor that I work with on the show. His name is doctor Shark. He runs Next Health, Okay, and Next Health basically will do the deepest blood tests and give you like.
Oh yeah, you do that thing where you have like a bowl of pills. You gotta takes like a pack. Yeah, you get all your biomarkers, so you get everything. And what I found is that different body types can't digest certain things, Like my body can't get the nutrients from certain things, so I have to eat different proteins. I'm also plant based, so the supplements provide me with all the missing nutrients. So were you feeling bad before you did this?
I was feeling when I wasn't taking all the supplements. I was feeling more tired, more easily. And I was like, why am I tired? Because I work out, I sleep well and meditate, Like, why am I tired?
What type of tired?
Just like a feeling of like lethargy or fatigue at the end of the day, but like a tired that I didn't like. And I realized that so vitamin D is meant to be at sixty is safe, one hundred is ideal. I was at ten and if and people always say, well, you live in La you get enough vitamin D. It's not true, like you've got to be out in the sun naked, like for four hours a day to get enough vitamin D, especially with my color of skin. And so for me today, vitamin D is non negotiable and for most people alone vitamin D and so my doctors my nutrition was saying, Jay, you'r vitamin D levels means you should be depressed. I was like, I don't feel depressed. I'm just tired. And she was just like, well, you know, if you change that will make a massive difference. And it did. And so I think a lot of people a lot of the times we think we're struggling mentally, but a lot of it's chemical and biological and physical. What you're saying with working out right, Like it's a physical shift that's in your mindset. And we can get in our head and get oh God, why am I tired? To something wrong with me? Like maybe I'm stressed And it can be that. Yeah, of course it can be that, But sometimes it's chemical and physical.
So you take twenty supplements.
I'll show you. Yeah, I'll show you my little pill draw.
Do you do any other things?
No?
No, that's do you drink any other tinctures through the day that you have to do?
No? No, Well, creating is I have to mix it in?
And then why do they have you do creatine?
That's for me to digest a particular nutrient for my digestion to be good.
Also take oh do you have trouble? You have bad stomach?
Not a bad stomach. I think that when I went completely plant based, which I always tell people if they're making that transition, I always tell people to do it slowly. I kind of did it overnight. When eight years ago, when I married my wife, I was vegetarian, but I became plant based as soon as I married her, and I think that my gut reacted poorly to that quick transition. And so whenever anyone's talking about being plant based or eating healthare, I'm almost like, do it slowly, because your body is just used to a habit, whether it's good or bad. And now I feel great. But it was a transitionary period for sure. So I do that, and then I do I have vinegar before meals because that regulates the acid internally, So that's like mix shot of vinegar with diluted in water.
Do you take like a lot of protein a day.
Yeah, I take a lot of protein, but a lot of protein meals, but like natural natural forms of as much as I.
Can, Well, what's your natural protein?
Well, like I'm doing a lot of lentils and dolls like the Indian. The Indian diet generally leads well to that kind of stuff. And then I will do things like tofu, which of course you know, and then not so natural, not so natural forms of protein as well. Yeah, I'll found I found these amazing bagels that are protein filled they're amazing. So things like that just to just to stuck up. But I found that eating protein every day has made a big difference the amount of protein that we don't have in our dieties. And I'm not a pro at this. We've had doctors who come on the show and yeah.
People, yeah, you're supposed to eat a gram of protein per a pound.
Yeah, and you realize you're like nowhere close, Like even if you're eing meat. It's hard. Yeah, And so what to speak of anyone who's plant based, Bennie, This has been a joy and honor. I hope you do a part two. I hope there's dinners. I hope there's so much more in the works with this relationship. I appreciate you man, Thank you so much. Like you took us on a whole journey today and I felt like we got to peek into your mind, which is always my favorite thing to do. I want everyone to know Open Wide is available right now, so make sure you go grab it. We'll put the link in the caption in the comments and wherever you're viewing. Of course, if you don't follow Benny on social media already, please go and follow him across platforms and BENNI thank you so much for showing up for on purpose today is so grateful and deeply appreciated.
Man, thank you, man, Yeah, thank you.
If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more. I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.
Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value, Like as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say I like this enough for other people to see it.