Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be adding a really special offering onto the back of my solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily Jay is a daily series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress free life. We dive into a range of topics and the best part is each episode is only seven minutes long, so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the on Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year, so I'll be playing a handpicked Daily Jay during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, we're talking about your habits and how to develop better daily routines. Of course, if you want to listen to The Daily Jay every day, you can subscribe to Calm, So go to calm dot com forward slash Jay for forty percent off your membership today and welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, today's episode is all about something that I know has been at the forefront of so many of your minds. I've been reading comments sections, I've been talking to so many people as well, and I found that a lot of us will say that the two most common thoughts we have areried that anxious thoughts or worry filled thoughts, and I think a lot of us can relate to that. Right. I'm guessing that when you wake up, there may be an anxious thought. When you are preparing for something, there may be a worry thought. Maybe you're anxious about your own health and wellness, Maybe you're anxious about your work, Maybe you're worried about your family, Maybe you're worried about something that's happening in your area or maybe in the world. And I find that these thoughts are so common and so normal, yet we don't always have a game plan in order to work through them. And I think that's what's so important. I think we want to get to a point where we never have an anxious thought or never have a worry field thought. And the truth is that's just not possible. But what is possible is having a plan of action, having a game plan, having strategies and methods to actually overcome, transition, transform and break through from those thoughts and feelings, and that's what this episode is about. So if you're waking up with anxiety, if you're struggling to sleep because of worry, if you're someone who can see that when you're around a group of people, your anxiety and your nerves go through the roof. Maybe you're someone who worries all the time and gets pessimistic. This episode is for you. And maybe you have a friend who's dealing with this. Maybe you've had an episode recently where anxiety and worry came up in your life. I've had that where I think I'm completely anxiety free and then all of a sudden something happens, and that's my number one priority is being able to manage it. Can't wait for you to listen to this episode. Thanks for choosing on purpose. As always, I was reading this brilliant article on psych central dot com about anxiety and here with some of the stats that they shared. They said that more than thirty one percent of the US people will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lifetimes. Social anxiety disorder is one of the most common anxiety disorders, affecting around twelve percent of US adults at some point in their lives, and it went on to clarify that women are nearly twice as likely to develop an anxiety disorder compared with men, and that there are lots of different ways that anxiety makes us feel. For some of us, it can be excessive and consistent worrying. For some of us, it's restlessness, irritability, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, fatigue, heart palpitation, sweating, and an upset stomach or nausea. Right. So it's really interesting because I think we often think of anxiety as like, Okay, it's all in my head. But as you can tell from this list that I found on psych Central, you actually see it manifesting very differently throughout the body. We've talked about everything from muscle tension through to an upset stomach or gut. We're talking about heart palpitations. So you're seeing that anxiety find its way throughout the body and finding a place to live. And so even if you're one of those people, I used to be someone who used to say, oh, I never get stressed, I don't have any of that, And then I started to realize that my body was storing it in a way that I wasn't even conscious and aware of because I wasn't present enough in my body. If I'm not present enough in my body, I'm not sure what I feel, where it came from, how long I've been feeling it, or how it developed. And so it's really interesting to remember that even if you're someone who's like, oh, Jay, I don't feel anxiety, that's not a challenge for me. It may be finding a home in your body in a different way. So it's a great thing to be aware of. The other fascinating thing I was reading an article on psychology today and it talked about this study that they did at Penn State University where researchers had participants write down their specific worries for ten days whenever they noticed it, and they were even sent a text message around four times a day to write down any worries from the past two hours to make sure that they could capture as many as possible now. The study participants then reviewed their list of worries every evening over the next thirty days to see if they came true and the worries were only worries that could be tested in the thirty days. For example, they used I'll fail my math exam tomorrow would be testable, whereas I'll develop cancer at some point would not be considered testable. The average person reported three to four testable worries per day. The result the research showed a wapping Ninety one percent of worries were false alarms, and of the remaining nine percent of worries that did come true, the outcome was better than expected about a third of the time, for about one in four participants, exactly zero of their worries materialized. This was a great article reviewed by Devin Fry if you want to check it out on Psychology Today. Written by Seth J. Gillian. So, what I just want to establish is that worry and anxiety are something that a lot of us are feeling. There are very different ways in which how it shows up in our life, so the language and the experience of it may be different, and on top of that, a lot of what we worry about doesn't always turn out to be true. Having said that, I want to give you some strategies and a game plan for dealing with your worries and anxieties because I want to help you transform those thoughts and overcome them. I had a really interesting experience of anxiety lately. I remember, before going on my world tour, I was so close to canceling it so many times because I found it overwhelming that I'd be doing all this travel back to back off the back of a press tour. I was genuinely quite anxious about it, if I'm completely honest with you all, and I thought about canceling it, and I thought about whether I'd be able to stay healthy. The whole time, I was worried about being away from RADI. I was worried about being away from my team and my work and my office. I was concerned that maybe I wouldn't be able to do it because I hadn't done it before, and so there were all these anxieties that I was feeling. And what's really interesting is that after rehearsing and after practicing, I felt great. But even the week let me just walk you through my schedule. So my book came out or announced on thirty first of January, I went on a three week press tour across New York, London, Mumbai, and la and then I had to go straight into rehearsals and then go on the US leg of the tour, and I was so close to falling ill. While I was rehearsing. My team Jordan saved my life literally with the amount of vitamins and supplements, and I was literally on everything I could possibly do to stay healthy, and those things really got me across the line. But I was nervous at that time too. And then when I was about to go on stage at my first show in Philadelphia, I walked onto the rehearsals and I felt so tight chested. I thought maybe I got COVID, or maybe there's some condition I'm struggling with. I remember feeling really uncomfortable. I then did the show that night in Philadelphia, was a great first show, and then a day later when we got to Boston, I felt it again. I felt the same uncomfortable, feeling tight chested. I was wondering what it was, and I remember speaking to my tour manager Tom about it, and I said to Tom, I said, Tom, I think, you know, I don't know what's going on. I'm just feeling a bit uncomfortable. And he said, well, Jay, you know it's probably anxiety and nerves. And I was like, I don't feel anxiety and nerves. I'm you know, I've spoken on stages a million times, and it was really interesting to me because he was like, Jay, you have, but this is different. This is your show, this is your tour. It's different. And so I was practicing my breath work exercises and then I had to go get checked in New York because I was so worried and I realized it was purely anxiety based. It was purely stress based. I was feeling so tight chested, and it went away after knowing that it wasn't anything more. But it's so interesting how we discount our experiences of overwhelm or stress or worry because we think of it as insignificant. We think that we should have had it figured out. So the first thing I want to talk to you about is studies show that we have around sixty to eighty thousand thoughts per day overwhelming already I know, and that eighty percent of those are repetitive and eighty percent of those are negative. We're often having the same thought throughout the day. A negative thought keeps on repeat on that cycle, and we have the same thought multiple times a day, adding up to a number of uncontrollable thoughts and here's my strategy for you. You can't change sixty to eighty thousand thoughts per day. It would be really tough to start thinking about how to be mindful about every thought. But here's something you can do. You can master your first and last thought of the day. Your first and last thought of the day can transform what happens in between. Right, we eat at three set times per day, or you eat at two set times per day, because that keeps you going and energized in between. Similarly, if we master and conquer our first thought of the day and the last thought of the day, so much can change. So here's what I want you to try. The first thing is don't look at your phone first thing in the morning and lasting at night, because your phone automatically inserts so many uncontrollable thoughts that you can't conquer. Right, you wake up in the morning and you see a news alert about something that happened in the world, and you go, gosh, that's already a negative start to the day. You wake up and you got a message from someone saying, hey, you haven't handed in that report yet. You're behind on work already. You've started a stream of negative thoughts. Now You're reactive for the rest of the day, trying to catch up, trying to make sure that you can solve all the other problems, not realizing that maybe if you gave yourself a head start, maybe if you felt calm and peaceful at the beginning of the day, now, when those things come at you, because of course they will, you'll be better prepared. So I find that master during your first and last thought of the day can be huge for me. The first thought of the day is usually a quote from my favorite book, a quote that I've scribbled on a post it note in maybe asking myself what am I grateful for? It's finding the first thing. All I want you to do is go what is the first thing I want to look at? What is the first thing I want to read? What is the first thing I want to think about that is going to transform the beginning of my day. It might even be a picture you want to see. The other thing I'm going to ask you to do is change your alarm tone. Often your alarm tone is so alarming that your first thought is urgency, emergency, alarm, alert, like all those words have so much fear attached them, like you're a fire alarm. It's scary. Why would you wake up to an alarm? Why would you wake up to an alert? All of these things make us have to be so on edge. They shift us into fight or flight mode, when actually, when you wake up, you want to wake up as if your eyes are just gently opening, right. Think about it? Do you like it when you wake up and your eyes are almost like shocked open, or when you get a moment to just gently, calmly open your eyes and let yourself become acquainted again with the light that's in the room. And it's so important to start that circadian rhythm by getting some natural sunlight. Right. So, one of the best ways, best strategies I know to deal with anxious thoughts and an anxious mindset is master the first and last thought of the day. My last thought of the day is often what am I most grateful for? My last thought of the day is what is an achievement? What is some progress I've made today? To give myself some encouragement and acknowledgment for what I've done. The second thing, this is something that I've used for years and it has really really helped me, and I found it helping me with a cold plunge. I found it helping with hikes, I found it helping with going on stage. It's breath work. I don't think we use our breath enough to define our life. Listen to this carefully. When you change the pace of your breath, you change the pace of your life. We don't realize how the pace of our breath is so interconnected to the pace of our life. If you find yourself rushing around, if you find yourself trying to do too many things, what happens The pace of your breath is fast, restless, and rushing as well. Whereas if you think about the best decisions you make in a calm, controlled environment, you'll find that your breath is deeper, slower, and your heart rate is slower as well. I think we've all experienced what panic feels like, what nerves feel like. You think about shallow breathing, you think about a fast heart rate, you think about being out of breath. Change the pace of your life by changing the pace of your breath. Anytime you feel out of breath, any time you feel behind, anytime you feel like you're rushing, it's because your heart rate and your breath rate are too high. You want to slow them down and get back in control. I looked at a study on Medical News today, and it's said that deliberately copying a relaxed breathing pattern seems to calm the nervous system that controls the body's involuntary functions. Controlled breathing can cause physiological changes that include lowered blood pressure and heart rate, reduced levels of stress hormones in the blood. So what you want to do is one of my favorite things is ocean breathing. And what I mean by that is you can find online or wherever it is, watching the ocean flow in and out and trying to deliberately copy that pace of breathing. Now, if you're not a visual person and you need to close your eyes, it's great to do this with account. I often breathe in for four and out for more than four. When you exhale for longer than you inhale, you relax your body and you slow your heart rate down. A few years ago I put this to the test where I actually sat right next to the bass drum of a heavy metal band, naturally listening to that music, and the fast pace my heart rates rocketed. My breathing was shallow and quick and in that I tried to control my breathing, and I had a heart rate monitor as well, and I was able to slow it down so that even in that high stress environment, I was able to reach a place of equanimity and calm. And so what I want to encourage you all to do is don't go sit next to a base drum, right, But I want you to take an opportunity to say, how much can you deliberately copy a relaxed breathing pattern? Where is there a pattern you can see? You may even breathe in and out from watching a flower move in your garden, a leaf moving from side to side. You may breathe as I said, for account of four in and an excel for more than four. Creating a pattern for your breath to follow will lower your heart rate, lower your breath rate, and actually give you an opportunity to cope with the feeling that you're going through. The study went on to say that breathing is closely linked the nervous system. Breathing exercises, especially those that emphasize extended controlled exhalation, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which causes equal and opposite changes to the stress response, says doctor Kennedy. Deep controlled breathing with extended exhalation stimulates the vagus nerve, causing a fall in the heart rate and blood pressure, and when practiced regularly, feelings of calm and relaxation. I can't stress this to you enough about how important it is to regulate are breathing, how important it is to find a pace that works for you in that moment. The third strategy that has had a big impact on my life is the power of scent, and I think that it's such an underutilized part of managing our stress. There's a reason why spars, why sacred places relax us, There's a reason why we have candles because scent, and again, using that breath work to actually presently breathe in that scent can transform how you feel. Studies show that sense sends signals to our limbic system, which is the sector of the brain that controls memory and emotion. According to a twenty eleven study, positive emotions, which can be elicited by certain fragrances, have been proven to lower stress levels and improve overall mental outlook. I don't know if you've ever been for a massage and they offer you a series of sense and they ask you which one do you gravitate towards. And it's so easy in that moment to say, well, which one's good for me, as opposed to you just breathing them in and thinking, well, this one makes me feel good. And I realized this was something that Radi did in our home that honestly I just recommend is that Radi will have a different diffuser and essential oil for different spaces in our home. So whether we were in our tiny apartment in New York or whether we're in our home right now, different spaces have different scents. So the kitchen has a scent, the living room has a scent, our bedroom has a scent. And it's simply a diffuser with a couple of drops of essential oils that transform the environment, so as soon as you walk in, you get the benefit of how you want to feel in that space. Do not underestimate scent as a way of calming you down. Maybe even carry one with you. Sometimes I'll carry around peppermint oil with me. Sometimes I'll carry around a lavender scent which I find really good calming, or a sandal wood scent that I find calming simply to inhale and excel to aid that breath work by giving you another tool to help calm you down. Find the scent that helps calm you. Find the scent that helps energize you. Find the scent that helps relax you and maybe even puts you to sleep. Don't underestimate the power of scent. Along with that is the power of sound. A twenty sixteen study found that music preference was the most important factor in reducing stress levels. Listening to one of your favorite songs or music maybe a great short term way of dealing with stress. Often I find that music without lyrics, music whether it's jazz, classical music, and instrumental of just a piano or just a violin, can be so powerful for helping us realign again with the pace that we want to live at. So I want you to think about scent and sound really, really effectively. What song do you wake up to? What music do you drive to? What music do you walk and work out to? What music do you listen to when you are feeling stressed? Do you remember to switch something on? Maybe have a playlist that you've made specifically for when you feel this way, Like when we have a playlist for a workout. Right, you have a playlist that you listened to in the car. What's your playlist for when you're feeling anxious and stressed out? Design it when you're not anxious and stressed out, and it will help you massively when you are. And I really want to talk to you about site visualization was a big technique I used when I lived as a monk. I today visualize myself going on stages before I walk on. I visualized myself skydiving before I did that. I visualize myself going through challenging moments in my life that are far deeper and more high stakes than both of those that I just talked about now. And I found that when you live something out in a visualization, it allows you to feel the emotions. I was talking to rather recently and she was saying that she wanted to share something really emotional, and she was scared when she shares it when she's doing a talk, she may start crying. And I said to her, first of all, that's beautiful, but I understand you don't want to derail your whole presentation. And I said to that, practice and when you practice, allow yourself to cry. Allow yourself to feel so that you felt those emotions deeply. Now when you share it, you'll be able to not cry, but it will still be emotive and powerful for you. And so visualization and rehearsal. Visual rehearsal helps us deal with tough conversations, challenging moments. Maybe an awkward, uncomfortable interaction that you need to have with someone. Feel free to visualize not how it's going to go perfectly, but how you're going to behave when it goes imperfectly. I think that's the mistake we make with visualization. We try and visualize, Oh, it's going to work out, it's going to be amazing. I'm not recommending that. I'm recommending you visualize what you think is going to happen and how you're going to respond in that moment. That's what athletes do. They visualized driving around a racetrack, They visualized performing on the day with the stress and pressures that come with it. And Medical News Today showed that guided imagery GI is another type of meditation which we called visualization. The study said that guided imagery involves mentally visualizing peaceful scenes to promote a state of relaxation. One fifteen study investigated the combined effects of GI and music on work related anxiety. For this study, the researchers divided twenty participants into two groups. One group underwent a nine week GIM program, the other group received no treatment. Compared with the no treatment group, the GIM group showed significant improvements in stress management and well being. The results also showed a great reduction in blood quarters ole levels for the GIM group. So that's where you see the guided imagery mixing with the music, so that now you're sparking that. So what's really interesting for me is if you came to my tour, you know that we crowdsourced your favorite love songs and we played them before the show, in the middle of the show, at the end of the show, And those songs have got so ingrained in my mind because I would visualized the start of the show and those songs. Then now when I hear them, I'm back in that place about to go on stage. I walked into a plane the other day and they were playing the song that I used to go on before. It was Whitney, and literally every time I hear that song now I feel like I'm going back on stage. My memory locks in. And so what you want to do is create that sound and that guided imagery around those moments in your life that you're most stressed, whether it's giving that presentation at work, whether it's that uncomfortable conversation. My next step is a common one that I think you're probably aware of, but I want you to be even more aware of. It is know what triggers you, Know the things that you keep inviting into your life. Become aware of the things that you openly invite into your life that cause you anxiety. Could be a conversation with a particular person, could be a particular person at work that keeps reoccurring, could be someone in your personal life. Right, what is that trigger that you keep opening the door for that it's time to close the door for. And if you're scared of closing the door and looking bad and being mean, go back and listen to the people Pleasing episode that I did a couple of weeks ago, because that will help guide you through that. Because it's so important to be aware of what triggers you and limit those triggers. Right, I know when I feel anxious, and so I've created tools around anxiety. I have to go through regularly. I always have to go on stage that's not going to disappear, which means I need a routine before I go on to stage to deal with that. Otherwise I'll never go on stage. But get aware of the subtle things that trigger you as well well, because those are the ones that will trip you up if you don't figure it out. One of my next favorite strategies is to get it out of your head and onto your page. Write down what you're anxious about, Write down what you're worried about, write down, doodle, scribble whatever it means, rob words out, circle him, whatever it is. Research shows that much like other visually creative activities like coloring in or doing collage, is doodlingk can help you unwind. It's thought to calm the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls the fight or fight response, which is linked to stress and anxiety. So doodling while you're on the phone calls. Remember we used to do that. We're not on phone calls anymore, so we don't doodle. We text, So doodle away. Write down your thoughts. And one of my favorite techniques is an old one, but an amazing one. It's by Stephen Covey, who wrote the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of my favorite ones and one of the biggest ones he talks about, is knowing what you can and can't control. I often like putting my anxieties and worries in those buckets of what can I control and what can't I control, And when I start to scribble them down, I realized, Okay, well I can't control this, but I can control this. Let me put more energy towards it, Let me put more focus towards it. Let me give it more attention, because that will actually change my experience. And my seventh and last strategy is one that you're doing right now. Read and listen about the stuff you're scared about. When I'm struggling with something, my number one thing is to find the best book on it, ask my friends about it, find the next best podcast, and then share it with others. If you share these strategies with others, I guarantee you're more likely to practice them. And all I want you to do is choose the one that resonates with you and put it into practice, because that will make all the difference. Thank you for listening to On Purpose make sure you leave a review on Spotify and on Apple and on any platform you listen to make sure you go back and listen to any episodes that you've missed recently. I have been loving our guest episodees and our solos, and I hope this one served you. Thank you so much. Only a few cars in the world go from zero to sixty in under two seconds. Most vehicles just aren't built to accelerate that fast, and we humans aren't built for it, either mentally or physically. And yet that's how many of us start our days. One moment we're sound asleep, and the next we're wide awake, rapidly processing tons of information. And it all has to do with these little devices we keep a little too close at hand. The next seven minutes are about your morning routine and what your brain needs to succeed. I'm Jay Shehaddy. Welcome to the Daily Jay. First, let's get centered with three deep breaths, filling up your lungs and easing back out, inviting oxygen into your body and calming your nervous system, gathering up your attention and bringing it to this moment. Now, I'd like you to imagine it's the first thing in the morning, you're still in bed, you just woke up. You reach over and hit a button on your nightstand. Suddenly one hundred people barge into your bedroom begging for your attention. One of them is explaining world events to you. One is asking if you're going to meet that important deadline at work. Yet another is shouting about how amazing you'd look in some new genes. It's exhausting, overwhelming, and unpleasant. Your heart rate spikes, your stress response is activated. Your hope for focus today is dwindling, to say the least. You'd never hit that button, would you, Except that's exactly what you're doing when you begin your morning by opening up your phone, and it causes a measurable negative impact on your brain. So you can actually think of your mind like the engine of a car. When you're asleep, your engine is on, but not in gear. The brain is completely relaxed. As you wake up, your brain shifts into first gear, slow but starting up. It gradually shifts up, getting faster, more alert, and as your mind enters the highway that is your day, it kicks into high gear. Awake, aware and focused, humming along smoothly. But if you pick up your phone. Immediately you hijack that process, your brain jumps directly into high gear. The same way that's bad for the performance of your car, it's bad for your performance as well. And this isn't just theory, this is science. Your brain actually moves through different physical states as it wakes up. The earlier states are associated with creativity and mindfulness. When you skip over them, it's been shown to limit your attention and prime your negative stress response for the whole day. Yuck, I get it. There are a number of reasons we start our day with a morning scroll. We're excited for some news, we're lonely. We do it out of habit. And I'm not saying you should stop checking your phone, but can't it wait a few minutes. I know sometimes we have duties that require us to be on call, and so keeping our phone away may not be possible. But if you can reclaim some time for your mind, it will do wonders for the rest of your day. Just like the fastest cause, your brain might be capable of going from zero to sixty, but it's way better to ramp up slowly. Now, let's downshift the gears in our mind as we close with a meditation. Begin by getting a little more comfortable wherever you are, gently slowing down your breath and giving your mind permission to chill out a bit. Today, as we breathe, we're going to consciously relax individual parts of the body, so you'll breathe in energy and then soften on the exhale, releasing tension. Let's start with your brow inhaling deeply and exhaling, letting any tightness go. Now your eyelids, relaxing them as you breathe out on this breath, seeing if you can loosen your jaw now, dropping your shoulders, moving your attention to your hands and allowing them to fully unclench and unwind. The next few moments are yours to release tension wherever you want. And now let's open it up. Reflect on your standard morning routine. What do you typically do as soon as you wake up? Are you going zero to sixty or are you slowly shifting gears? How could you change things to benefit your brain? I know it may take some time to alter your habits, but there's no pressure to overhaul things immediately. Just make sure you stay aware and stay on the right track. I'll see you again tomorrow. Thank you so much for joining

Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be adding a really special offering onto the back of my solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily Jay is a daily series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress free life. We dive into a range of topics and the best part is each episode is only seven minutes long, so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the on Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year, so I'll be playing a handpicked Daily Jay during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, we're talking about your habits and how to develop better daily routines. Of course, if you want to listen to The Daily Jay every day, you can subscribe to Calm, So go to calm dot com forward slash Jay for forty percent off your membership today and welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, today's episode is all about something that I know has been at the forefront of so many of your minds. I've been reading comments sections, I've been talking to so many people as well, and I found that a lot of us will say that the two most common thoughts we have areried that anxious thoughts or worry filled thoughts, and I think a lot of us can relate to that. Right. I'm guessing that when you wake up, there may be an anxious thought. When you are preparing for something, there may be a worry thought. Maybe you're anxious about your own health and wellness, Maybe you're anxious about your work, Maybe you're worried about your family, Maybe you're worried about something that's happening in your area or maybe in the world. And I find that these thoughts are so common and so normal, yet we don't always have a game plan in order to work through them. And I think that's what's so important. I think we want to get to a point where we never have an anxious thought or never have a worry field thought. And the truth is that's just not possible. But what is possible is having a plan of action, having a game plan, having strategies and methods to actually overcome, transition, transform and break through from those thoughts and feelings, and that's what this episode is about. So if you're waking up with anxiety, if you're struggling to sleep because of worry, if you're someone who can see that when you're around a group of people, your anxiety and your nerves go through the roof. Maybe you're someone who worries all the time and gets pessimistic. This episode is for you. And maybe you have a friend who's dealing with this. Maybe you've had an episode recently where anxiety and worry came up in your life. I've had that where I think I'm completely anxiety free and then all of a sudden something happens, and that's my number one priority is being able to manage it. Can't wait for you to listen to this episode. Thanks for choosing on purpose. As always, I was reading this brilliant article on psych central dot com about anxiety and here with some of the stats that they shared. They said that more than thirty one percent of the US people will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lifetimes. Social anxiety disorder is one of the most common anxiety disorders, affecting around twelve percent of US adults at some point in their lives, and it went on to clarify that women are nearly twice as likely to develop an anxiety disorder compared with men, and that there are lots of different ways that anxiety makes us feel. For some of us, it can be excessive and consistent worrying. For some of us, it's restlessness, irritability, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, fatigue, heart palpitation, sweating, and an upset stomach or nausea. Right. So it's really interesting because I think we often think of anxiety as like, Okay, it's all in my head. But as you can tell from this list that I found on psych Central, you actually see it manifesting very differently throughout the body. We've talked about everything from muscle tension through to an upset stomach or gut. We're talking about heart palpitations. So you're seeing that anxiety find its way throughout the body and finding a place to live. And so even if you're one of those people, I used to be someone who used to say, oh, I never get stressed, I don't have any of that, And then I started to realize that my body was storing it in a way that I wasn't even conscious and aware of because I wasn't present enough in my body. If I'm not present enough in my body, I'm not sure what I feel, where it came from, how long I've been feeling it, or how it developed. And so it's really interesting to remember that even if you're someone who's like, oh, Jay, I don't feel anxiety, that's not a challenge for me. It may be finding a home in your body in a different way. So it's a great thing to be aware of. The other fascinating thing I was reading an article on psychology today and it talked about this study that they did at Penn State University where researchers had participants write down their specific worries for ten days whenever they noticed it, and they were even sent a text message around four times a day to write down any worries from the past two hours to make sure that they could capture as many as possible now. The study participants then reviewed their list of worries every evening over the next thirty days to see if they came true and the worries were only worries that could be tested in the thirty days. For example, they used I'll fail my math exam tomorrow would be testable, whereas I'll develop cancer at some point would not be considered testable. The average person reported three to four testable worries per day. The result the research showed a wapping Ninety one percent of worries were false alarms, and of the remaining nine percent of worries that did come true, the outcome was better than expected about a third of the time, for about one in four participants, exactly zero of their worries materialized. This was a great article reviewed by Devin Fry if you want to check it out on Psychology Today. Written by Seth J. Gillian. So, what I just want to establish is that worry and anxiety are something that a lot of us are feeling. There are very different ways in which how it shows up in our life, so the language and the experience of it may be different, and on top of that, a lot of what we worry about doesn't always turn out to be true. Having said that, I want to give you some strategies and a game plan for dealing with your worries and anxieties because I want to help you transform those thoughts and overcome them. I had a really interesting experience of anxiety lately. I remember, before going on my world tour, I was so close to canceling it so many times because I found it overwhelming that I'd be doing all this travel back to back off the back of a press tour. I was genuinely quite anxious about it, if I'm completely honest with you all, and I thought about canceling it, and I thought about whether I'd be able to stay healthy. The whole time, I was worried about being away from RADI. I was worried about being away from my team and my work and my office. I was concerned that maybe I wouldn't be able to do it because I hadn't done it before, and so there were all these anxieties that I was feeling. And what's really interesting is that after rehearsing and after practicing, I felt great. But even the week let me just walk you through my schedule. So my book came out or announced on thirty first of January, I went on a three week press tour across New York, London, Mumbai, and la and then I had to go straight into rehearsals and then go on the US leg of the tour, and I was so close to falling ill. While I was rehearsing. My team Jordan saved my life literally with the amount of vitamins and supplements, and I was literally on everything I could possibly do to stay healthy, and those things really got me across the line. But I was nervous at that time too. And then when I was about to go on stage at my first show in Philadelphia, I walked onto the rehearsals and I felt so tight chested. I thought maybe I got COVID, or maybe there's some condition I'm struggling with. I remember feeling really uncomfortable. I then did the show that night in Philadelphia, was a great first show, and then a day later when we got to Boston, I felt it again. I felt the same uncomfortable, feeling tight chested. I was wondering what it was, and I remember speaking to my tour manager Tom about it, and I said to Tom, I said, Tom, I think, you know, I don't know what's going on. I'm just feeling a bit uncomfortable. And he said, well, Jay, you know it's probably anxiety and nerves. And I was like, I don't feel anxiety and nerves. I'm you know, I've spoken on stages a million times, and it was really interesting to me because he was like, Jay, you have, but this is different. This is your show, this is your tour. It's different. And so I was practicing my breath work exercises and then I had to go get checked in New York because I was so worried and I realized it was purely anxiety based. It was purely stress based. I was feeling so tight chested, and it went away after knowing that it wasn't anything more. But it's so interesting how we discount our experiences of overwhelm or stress or worry because we think of it as insignificant. We think that we should have had it figured out. So the first thing I want to talk to you about is studies show that we have around sixty to eighty thousand thoughts per day overwhelming already I know, and that eighty percent of those are repetitive and eighty percent of those are negative. We're often having the same thought throughout the day. A negative thought keeps on repeat on that cycle, and we have the same thought multiple times a day, adding up to a number of uncontrollable thoughts and here's my strategy for you. You can't change sixty to eighty thousand thoughts per day. It would be really tough to start thinking about how to be mindful about every thought. But here's something you can do. You can master your first and last thought of the day. Your first and last thought of the day can transform what happens in between. Right, we eat at three set times per day, or you eat at two set times per day, because that keeps you going and energized in between. Similarly, if we master and conquer our first thought of the day and the last thought of the day, so much can change. So here's what I want you to try. The first thing is don't look at your phone first thing in the morning and lasting at night, because your phone automatically inserts so many uncontrollable thoughts that you can't conquer. Right, you wake up in the morning and you see a news alert about something that happened in the world, and you go, gosh, that's already a negative start to the day. You wake up and you got a message from someone saying, hey, you haven't handed in that report yet. You're behind on work already. You've started a stream of negative thoughts. Now You're reactive for the rest of the day, trying to catch up, trying to make sure that you can solve all the other problems, not realizing that maybe if you gave yourself a head start, maybe if you felt calm and peaceful at the beginning of the day, now, when those things come at you, because of course they will, you'll be better prepared. So I find that master during your first and last thought of the day can be huge for me. The first thought of the day is usually a quote from my favorite book, a quote that I've scribbled on a post it note in maybe asking myself what am I grateful for? It's finding the first thing. All I want you to do is go what is the first thing I want to look at? What is the first thing I want to read? What is the first thing I want to think about that is going to transform the beginning of my day. It might even be a picture you want to see. The other thing I'm going to ask you to do is change your alarm tone. Often your alarm tone is so alarming that your first thought is urgency, emergency, alarm, alert, like all those words have so much fear attached them, like you're a fire alarm. It's scary. Why would you wake up to an alarm? Why would you wake up to an alert? All of these things make us have to be so on edge. They shift us into fight or flight mode, when actually, when you wake up, you want to wake up as if your eyes are just gently opening, right. Think about it? Do you like it when you wake up and your eyes are almost like shocked open, or when you get a moment to just gently, calmly open your eyes and let yourself become acquainted again with the light that's in the room. And it's so important to start that circadian rhythm by getting some natural sunlight. Right. So, one of the best ways, best strategies I know to deal with anxious thoughts and an anxious mindset is master the first and last thought of the day. My last thought of the day is often what am I most grateful for? My last thought of the day is what is an achievement? What is some progress I've made today? To give myself some encouragement and acknowledgment for what I've done. The second thing, this is something that I've used for years and it has really really helped me, and I found it helping me with a cold plunge. I found it helping with hikes, I found it helping with going on stage. It's breath work. I don't think we use our breath enough to define our life. Listen to this carefully. When you change the pace of your breath, you change the pace of your life. We don't realize how the pace of our breath is so interconnected to the pace of our life. If you find yourself rushing around, if you find yourself trying to do too many things, what happens The pace of your breath is fast, restless, and rushing as well. Whereas if you think about the best decisions you make in a calm, controlled environment, you'll find that your breath is deeper, slower, and your heart rate is slower as well. I think we've all experienced what panic feels like, what nerves feel like. You think about shallow breathing, you think about a fast heart rate, you think about being out of breath. Change the pace of your life by changing the pace of your breath. Anytime you feel out of breath, any time you feel behind, anytime you feel like you're rushing, it's because your heart rate and your breath rate are too high. You want to slow them down and get back in control. I looked at a study on Medical News today, and it's said that deliberately copying a relaxed breathing pattern seems to calm the nervous system that controls the body's involuntary functions. Controlled breathing can cause physiological changes that include lowered blood pressure and heart rate, reduced levels of stress hormones in the blood. So what you want to do is one of my favorite things is ocean breathing. And what I mean by that is you can find online or wherever it is, watching the ocean flow in and out and trying to deliberately copy that pace of breathing. Now, if you're not a visual person and you need to close your eyes, it's great to do this with account. I often breathe in for four and out for more than four. When you exhale for longer than you inhale, you relax your body and you slow your heart rate down. A few years ago I put this to the test where I actually sat right next to the bass drum of a heavy metal band, naturally listening to that music, and the fast pace my heart rates rocketed. My breathing was shallow and quick and in that I tried to control my breathing, and I had a heart rate monitor as well, and I was able to slow it down so that even in that high stress environment, I was able to reach a place of equanimity and calm. And so what I want to encourage you all to do is don't go sit next to a base drum, right, But I want you to take an opportunity to say, how much can you deliberately copy a relaxed breathing pattern? Where is there a pattern you can see? You may even breathe in and out from watching a flower move in your garden, a leaf moving from side to side. You may breathe as I said, for account of four in and an excel for more than four. Creating a pattern for your breath to follow will lower your heart rate, lower your breath rate, and actually give you an opportunity to cope with the feeling that you're going through. The study went on to say that breathing is closely linked the nervous system. Breathing exercises, especially those that emphasize extended controlled exhalation, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which causes equal and opposite changes to the stress response, says doctor Kennedy. Deep controlled breathing with extended exhalation stimulates the vagus nerve, causing a fall in the heart rate and blood pressure, and when practiced regularly, feelings of calm and relaxation. I can't stress this to you enough about how important it is to regulate are breathing, how important it is to find a pace that works for you in that moment. The third strategy that has had a big impact on my life is the power of scent, and I think that it's such an underutilized part of managing our stress. There's a reason why spars, why sacred places relax us, There's a reason why we have candles because scent, and again, using that breath work to actually presently breathe in that scent can transform how you feel. Studies show that sense sends signals to our limbic system, which is the sector of the brain that controls memory and emotion. According to a twenty eleven study, positive emotions, which can be elicited by certain fragrances, have been proven to lower stress levels and improve overall mental outlook. I don't know if you've ever been for a massage and they offer you a series of sense and they ask you which one do you gravitate towards. And it's so easy in that moment to say, well, which one's good for me, as opposed to you just breathing them in and thinking, well, this one makes me feel good. And I realized this was something that Radi did in our home that honestly I just recommend is that Radi will have a different diffuser and essential oil for different spaces in our home. So whether we were in our tiny apartment in New York or whether we're in our home right now, different spaces have different scents. So the kitchen has a scent, the living room has a scent, our bedroom has a scent. And it's simply a diffuser with a couple of drops of essential oils that transform the environment, so as soon as you walk in, you get the benefit of how you want to feel in that space. Do not underestimate scent as a way of calming you down. Maybe even carry one with you. Sometimes I'll carry around peppermint oil with me. Sometimes I'll carry around a lavender scent which I find really good calming, or a sandal wood scent that I find calming simply to inhale and excel to aid that breath work by giving you another tool to help calm you down. Find the scent that helps calm you. Find the scent that helps energize you. Find the scent that helps relax you and maybe even puts you to sleep. Don't underestimate the power of scent. Along with that is the power of sound. A twenty sixteen study found that music preference was the most important factor in reducing stress levels. Listening to one of your favorite songs or music maybe a great short term way of dealing with stress. Often I find that music without lyrics, music whether it's jazz, classical music, and instrumental of just a piano or just a violin, can be so powerful for helping us realign again with the pace that we want to live at. So I want you to think about scent and sound really, really effectively. What song do you wake up to? What music do you drive to? What music do you walk and work out to? What music do you listen to when you are feeling stressed? Do you remember to switch something on? Maybe have a playlist that you've made specifically for when you feel this way, Like when we have a playlist for a workout. Right, you have a playlist that you listened to in the car. What's your playlist for when you're feeling anxious and stressed out? Design it when you're not anxious and stressed out, and it will help you massively when you are. And I really want to talk to you about site visualization was a big technique I used when I lived as a monk. I today visualize myself going on stages before I walk on. I visualized myself skydiving before I did that. I visualize myself going through challenging moments in my life that are far deeper and more high stakes than both of those that I just talked about now. And I found that when you live something out in a visualization, it allows you to feel the emotions. I was talking to rather recently and she was saying that she wanted to share something really emotional, and she was scared when she shares it when she's doing a talk, she may start crying. And I said to her, first of all, that's beautiful, but I understand you don't want to derail your whole presentation. And I said to that, practice and when you practice, allow yourself to cry. Allow yourself to feel so that you felt those emotions deeply. Now when you share it, you'll be able to not cry, but it will still be emotive and powerful for you. And so visualization and rehearsal. Visual rehearsal helps us deal with tough conversations, challenging moments. Maybe an awkward, uncomfortable interaction that you need to have with someone. Feel free to visualize not how it's going to go perfectly, but how you're going to behave when it goes imperfectly. I think that's the mistake we make with visualization. We try and visualize, Oh, it's going to work out, it's going to be amazing. I'm not recommending that. I'm recommending you visualize what you think is going to happen and how you're going to respond in that moment. That's what athletes do. They visualized driving around a racetrack, They visualized performing on the day with the stress and pressures that come with it. And Medical News Today showed that guided imagery GI is another type of meditation which we called visualization. The study said that guided imagery involves mentally visualizing peaceful scenes to promote a state of relaxation. One fifteen study investigated the combined effects of GI and music on work related anxiety. For this study, the researchers divided twenty participants into two groups. One group underwent a nine week GIM program, the other group received no treatment. Compared with the no treatment group, the GIM group showed significant improvements in stress management and well being. The results also showed a great reduction in blood quarters ole levels for the GIM group. So that's where you see the guided imagery mixing with the music, so that now you're sparking that. So what's really interesting for me is if you came to my tour, you know that we crowdsourced your favorite love songs and we played them before the show, in the middle of the show, at the end of the show, And those songs have got so ingrained in my mind because I would visualized the start of the show and those songs. Then now when I hear them, I'm back in that place about to go on stage. I walked into a plane the other day and they were playing the song that I used to go on before. It was Whitney, and literally every time I hear that song now I feel like I'm going back on stage. My memory locks in. And so what you want to do is create that sound and that guided imagery around those moments in your life that you're most stressed, whether it's giving that presentation at work, whether it's that uncomfortable conversation. My next step is a common one that I think you're probably aware of, but I want you to be even more aware of. It is know what triggers you, Know the things that you keep inviting into your life. Become aware of the things that you openly invite into your life that cause you anxiety. Could be a conversation with a particular person, could be a particular person at work that keeps reoccurring, could be someone in your personal life. Right, what is that trigger that you keep opening the door for that it's time to close the door for. And if you're scared of closing the door and looking bad and being mean, go back and listen to the people Pleasing episode that I did a couple of weeks ago, because that will help guide you through that. Because it's so important to be aware of what triggers you and limit those triggers. Right, I know when I feel anxious, and so I've created tools around anxiety. I have to go through regularly. I always have to go on stage that's not going to disappear, which means I need a routine before I go on to stage to deal with that. Otherwise I'll never go on stage. But get aware of the subtle things that trigger you as well well, because those are the ones that will trip you up if you don't figure it out. One of my next favorite strategies is to get it out of your head and onto your page. Write down what you're anxious about, Write down what you're worried about, write down, doodle, scribble whatever it means, rob words out, circle him, whatever it is. Research shows that much like other visually creative activities like coloring in or doing collage, is doodlingk can help you unwind. It's thought to calm the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls the fight or fight response, which is linked to stress and anxiety. So doodling while you're on the phone calls. Remember we used to do that. We're not on phone calls anymore, so we don't doodle. We text, So doodle away. Write down your thoughts. And one of my favorite techniques is an old one, but an amazing one. It's by Stephen Covey, who wrote the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of my favorite ones and one of the biggest ones he talks about, is knowing what you can and can't control. I often like putting my anxieties and worries in those buckets of what can I control and what can't I control, And when I start to scribble them down, I realized, Okay, well I can't control this, but I can control this. Let me put more energy towards it, Let me put more focus towards it. Let me give it more attention, because that will actually change my experience. And my seventh and last strategy is one that you're doing right now. Read and listen about the stuff you're scared about. When I'm struggling with something, my number one thing is to find the best book on it, ask my friends about it, find the next best podcast, and then share it with others. If you share these strategies with others, I guarantee you're more likely to practice them. And all I want you to do is choose the one that resonates with you and put it into practice, because that will make all the difference. Thank you for listening to On Purpose make sure you leave a review on Spotify and on Apple and on any platform you listen to make sure you go back and listen to any episodes that you've missed recently. I have been loving our guest episodees and our solos, and I hope this one served you. Thank you so much. Only a few cars in the world go from zero to sixty in under two seconds. Most vehicles just aren't built to accelerate that fast, and we humans aren't built for it, either mentally or physically. And yet that's how many of us start our days. One moment we're sound asleep, and the next we're wide awake, rapidly processing tons of information. And it all has to do with these little devices we keep a little too close at hand. The next seven minutes are about your morning routine and what your brain needs to succeed. I'm Jay Shehaddy. Welcome to the Daily Jay. First, let's get centered with three deep breaths, filling up your lungs and easing back out, inviting oxygen into your body and calming your nervous system, gathering up your attention and bringing it to this moment. Now, I'd like you to imagine it's the first thing in the morning, you're still in bed, you just woke up. You reach over and hit a button on your nightstand. Suddenly one hundred people barge into your bedroom begging for your attention. One of them is explaining world events to you. One is asking if you're going to meet that important deadline at work. Yet another is shouting about how amazing you'd look in some new genes. It's exhausting, overwhelming, and unpleasant. Your heart rate spikes, your stress response is activated. Your hope for focus today is dwindling, to say the least. You'd never hit that button, would you, Except that's exactly what you're doing when you begin your morning by opening up your phone, and it causes a measurable negative impact on your brain. So you can actually think of your mind like the engine of a car. When you're asleep, your engine is on, but not in gear. The brain is completely relaxed. As you wake up, your brain shifts into first gear, slow but starting up. It gradually shifts up, getting faster, more alert, and as your mind enters the highway that is your day, it kicks into high gear. Awake, aware and focused, humming along smoothly. But if you pick up your phone. Immediately you hijack that process, your brain jumps directly into high gear. The same way that's bad for the performance of your car, it's bad for your performance as well. And this isn't just theory, this is science. Your brain actually moves through different physical states as it wakes up. The earlier states are associated with creativity and mindfulness. When you skip over them, it's been shown to limit your attention and prime your negative stress response for the whole day. Yuck, I get it. There are a number of reasons we start our day with a morning scroll. We're excited for some news, we're lonely. We do it out of habit. And I'm not saying you should stop checking your phone, but can't it wait a few minutes. I know sometimes we have duties that require us to be on call, and so keeping our phone away may not be possible. But if you can reclaim some time for your mind, it will do wonders for the rest of your day. Just like the fastest cause, your brain might be capable of going from zero to sixty, but it's way better to ramp up slowly. Now, let's downshift the gears in our mind as we close with a meditation. Begin by getting a little more comfortable wherever you are, gently slowing down your breath and giving your mind permission to chill out a bit. Today, as we breathe, we're going to consciously relax individual parts of the body, so you'll breathe in energy and then soften on the exhale, releasing tension. Let's start with your brow inhaling deeply and exhaling, letting any tightness go. Now your eyelids, relaxing them as you breathe out on this breath, seeing if you can loosen your jaw now, dropping your shoulders, moving your attention to your hands and allowing them to fully unclench and unwind. The next few moments are yours to release tension wherever you want. And now let's open it up. Reflect on your standard morning routine. What do you typically do as soon as you wake up? Are you going zero to sixty or are you slowly shifting gears? How could you change things to benefit your brain? I know it may take some time to alter your habits, but there's no pressure to overhaul things immediately. Just make sure you stay aware and stay on the right track. I'll see you again tomorrow. Thank you so much for joining