My life changed when Ali was diagnosed at fourteen. She's saying she has an eyeball headache, and I'm thinking, oh, you know, okay, you know, and she says her vision's getting a little fuzzy, and I'm just thinking, well, I'm you know, I'm sure it's nothing. We'll go see the eye doctor, will get you some drops. And ultimately the neurologist is doing a series of tests, wanted to do a spinal tap, a lumbar puncture, and I'm like, why, Like, she's just got something going on with her eyes. What are you all doing? You know? And so when they called with the results, they basically told myself and my husband that she had four years to live.

My life changed when Ali was diagnosed at fourteen. She's saying she has an eyeball headache, and I'm thinking, oh, you know, okay, you know, and she says her vision's getting a little fuzzy, and I'm just thinking, well, I'm you know, I'm sure it's nothing. We'll go see the eye doctor, will get you some drops. And ultimately the neurologist is doing a series of tests, wanted to do a spinal tap, a lumbar puncture, and I'm like, why, Like, she's just got something going on with her eyes. What are you all doing? You know? And so when they called with the results, they basically told myself and my husband that she had four years to live.

Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

The number one health and well in the Five.

The number one health and well in the Five.

Jay Sheeddi, Jay, Shenny j J. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. And that's our mission here to introduce you to thought leaders, teachers, academics, experts, celebrities, athletes who are all trying to make the world happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's guest has been dedicated to that in a personal way and in their own mission. I'm excited to introduce you to a dear friend of mine who I've been wanting to have on the show for a very long time. We've had some beautiful conversations offline. I've really got to know her heart and her soul more than anything, and I'm honored today to get to introduce you to her. Her name is Victoria Jackson, who has known previously as a cosmetics entrepreneur but transformed into a medical research trailblazer and Women's Hall of Fame inductee. Victoria founded the global powerhouse brand Victoria Jackson Cosmetics. She and her husband Bill Guthy, founder of the marketing behemoth, Guthy Renker established the Gutthy Jackson Charitable Foundation to fund research on NMO treatments and a potential cure. Victoria's unrelenting determination proved effective. In twenty sixteen, the foundation developed the first ever NMO therapeutic and soon after three therapies received FDA approval. The unprecedented pace of the accomplishments that her and her affiliations have had are absolutely phenomenal. And I welcome you to the show. Victoria Jackson and the author of two incredible books that I highly recommend, Saving each Other, which of course will be diving in today, and this book, The Power of Rare a Blueprint for a medical revolution. Please go and grab both of these books. You're going to be hearing about the insights from both of them in this conversation. And Victoria, welcome to on Purpose.

Jay Sheeddi, Jay, Shenny j J. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. And that's our mission here to introduce you to thought leaders, teachers, academics, experts, celebrities, athletes who are all trying to make the world happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's guest has been dedicated to that in a personal way and in their own mission. I'm excited to introduce you to a dear friend of mine who I've been wanting to have on the show for a very long time. We've had some beautiful conversations offline. I've really got to know her heart and her soul more than anything, and I'm honored today to get to introduce you to her. Her name is Victoria Jackson, who has known previously as a cosmetics entrepreneur but transformed into a medical research trailblazer and Women's Hall of Fame inductee. Victoria founded the global powerhouse brand Victoria Jackson Cosmetics. She and her husband Bill Guthy, founder of the marketing behemoth, Guthy Renker established the Gutthy Jackson Charitable Foundation to fund research on NMO treatments and a potential cure. Victoria's unrelenting determination proved effective. In twenty sixteen, the foundation developed the first ever NMO therapeutic and soon after three therapies received FDA approval. The unprecedented pace of the accomplishments that her and her affiliations have had are absolutely phenomenal. And I welcome you to the show. Victoria Jackson and the author of two incredible books that I highly recommend, Saving each Other, which of course will be diving in today, and this book, The Power of Rare a Blueprint for a medical revolution. Please go and grab both of these books. You're going to be hearing about the insights from both of them in this conversation. And Victoria, welcome to on Purpose.

Thank you. It is so nice to be here. I've been just waiting for the opportunity to talk to you. I'm I'M a big manifesto, and so when I started listening to you, Jay, I was so inspired honestly that I just was like, I've got it. There's going to be a time I'm sitting across from him. We're having this conversation. So thank you so much.

Thank you. It is so nice to be here. I've been just waiting for the opportunity to talk to you. I'm I'M a big manifesto, and so when I started listening to you, Jay, I was so inspired honestly that I just was like, I've got it. There's going to be a time I'm sitting across from him. We're having this conversation. So thank you so much.

I love that. And our parts have just crossed so organically. We have a lot of mutual friends and we bumped into each other ages ago at this great fundraiser that Ellen did called Gorilla Paluzza, which was to raise money for the Diane Fosse and Ellen Degenero's fund.

I love that. And our parts have just crossed so organically. We have a lot of mutual friends and we bumped into each other ages ago at this great fundraiser that Ellen did called Gorilla Paluzza, which was to raise money for the Diane Fosse and Ellen Degenero's fund.

Yeah, that's great, incredible what she's doing.

Yeah, that's great, incredible what she's doing.

Yeah, I've not it's amazing. I got to go out with them last year and it was unbelievable. But we met there, yes, and you were one of these people, and I just want the audience to know like you were one of these people that instantly was talking to me from your heart and I felt it. Then you were arranging for me to go and meet the Pope the next thing I knew, and it didn't happen because of the pandemic, but I was so grateful to you for even helping that invite come along my way, and I hope I get to do that in the future one and honor thanks to you. And I had that very special invite to go to the Vatican, which, of course, through to the pandemic, didn't happen, and then we've had these wonderful connections, even with your daughter and your home and anyway, so many different things. But I feel like your journey is truly unique and incredible in so many ways. And I want to start off with a question of what is your earliest memory from childhood of your own childhood that stays with you or that is the immediate flashback when you think to being a child.

Yeah, I've not it's amazing. I got to go out with them last year and it was unbelievable. But we met there, yes, and you were one of these people, and I just want the audience to know like you were one of these people that instantly was talking to me from your heart and I felt it. Then you were arranging for me to go and meet the Pope the next thing I knew, and it didn't happen because of the pandemic, but I was so grateful to you for even helping that invite come along my way, and I hope I get to do that in the future one and honor thanks to you. And I had that very special invite to go to the Vatican, which, of course, through to the pandemic, didn't happen, and then we've had these wonderful connections, even with your daughter and your home and anyway, so many different things. But I feel like your journey is truly unique and incredible in so many ways. And I want to start off with a question of what is your earliest memory from childhood of your own childhood that stays with you or that is the immediate flashback when you think to being a child.

You know, I always think about how I felt like I was always different. I say that I was born early. I was born in the six and a half and so I lived in the hospital for three months before I even came home. So I think, because I've always struggled so much with anxiety and worry and you know, all of that, I think I was sort of born early to get a head start on all of it. So when I think of my early years, I really think of, you know, a young person that was really struggling and just trying to really find her place in the world. And seem like since I did come in early and was struggling just to sort of make it through in those very very early times. Because this is going back a while, and you know, now, I know for you know, premies. They have a lot more technology than they did then. But I've always been in survival mode, I think, my whole life. So I think that's what I think about, is this little person that came into the world and has been in that mode ever since pretty much.

You know, I always think about how I felt like I was always different. I say that I was born early. I was born in the six and a half and so I lived in the hospital for three months before I even came home. So I think, because I've always struggled so much with anxiety and worry and you know, all of that, I think I was sort of born early to get a head start on all of it. So when I think of my early years, I really think of, you know, a young person that was really struggling and just trying to really find her place in the world. And seem like since I did come in early and was struggling just to sort of make it through in those very very early times. Because this is going back a while, and you know, now, I know for you know, premies. They have a lot more technology than they did then. But I've always been in survival mode, I think, my whole life. So I think that's what I think about, is this little person that came into the world and has been in that mode ever since pretty much.

Do you think that the struggles that you had have changed towards the struggles that young people have today or do you think that they're the same thing that just differently experienced.

Do you think that the struggles that you had have changed towards the struggles that young people have today or do you think that they're the same thing that just differently experienced.

I think they're definitely. I think they're the same thing. But yeah, I mean, obviously I wasn't dealing with social media and things, but you know, school was social media. You know, your friends, I mean, so they were all You're still trying to figure out your way in the world. So I think it may look different now, But I think that's probably why even in raising kids, I understand my kids can talk to them on a level of understanding whatever anxiety they're going through, but it's just it's just put out on a different stage now and much bigger stage, and so that makes it a little more difficult.

I think they're definitely. I think they're the same thing. But yeah, I mean, obviously I wasn't dealing with social media and things, but you know, school was social media. You know, your friends, I mean, so they were all You're still trying to figure out your way in the world. So I think it may look different now, But I think that's probably why even in raising kids, I understand my kids can talk to them on a level of understanding whatever anxiety they're going through, but it's just it's just put out on a different stage now and much bigger stage, and so that makes it a little more difficult.

What was the thing you were most anxious about growing up? What was the thing that kept you up at night that made you uncomfortable that made you nervous? What was that?

What was the thing you were most anxious about growing up? What was the thing that kept you up at night that made you uncomfortable that made you nervous? What was that?

You know? For me, it was I think because I had parents that were young and trying to figure it out and ultimately got divorced. There there wasn't I didn't feel a lot of love. And I think, you know, even my mom would be the first to say she, you know, having a child that was in the hospital right away and she's so young, she didn't really know how to you know, bond with me. And I think that was tough. So I was somebody that was always seeking approval and looking for that love and just trying to figure out who I was. And I always had this really haunting feeling that something was going to happen to me, that there was just somebody was going to get me, something was going to happen. It was just something that I remember early on just feeling in a unique way.

You know? For me, it was I think because I had parents that were young and trying to figure it out and ultimately got divorced. There there wasn't I didn't feel a lot of love. And I think, you know, even my mom would be the first to say she, you know, having a child that was in the hospital right away and she's so young, she didn't really know how to you know, bond with me. And I think that was tough. So I was somebody that was always seeking approval and looking for that love and just trying to figure out who I was. And I always had this really haunting feeling that something was going to happen to me, that there was just somebody was going to get me, something was going to happen. It was just something that I remember early on just feeling in a unique way.

And how did you process that? Like what was your antidote?

And how did you process that? Like what was your antidote?

Or I mean, I think there's times you're thinking, you know, am I special? Is there a reason I'm here? But it just manifested in a lot of anxiety, and so you know, you're always just feeling like there's some shoe that's going to drop or something that's going to happen. And I lived a lot of my early years like that, as I kind of keep going back to finding my way.

Or I mean, I think there's times you're thinking, you know, am I special? Is there a reason I'm here? But it just manifested in a lot of anxiety, and so you know, you're always just feeling like there's some shoe that's going to drop or something that's going to happen. And I lived a lot of my early years like that, as I kind of keep going back to finding my way.

It's interesting how every teenager goes through this phase of finding our way, and then often we either get stuck in a way that our parents expected or society expected, or we fall into something, or we continue to find our way. And sometimes you're in your thirties or your forties and you're still trying to find your way and you kind of feel out of place because everyone else has stability. But I could definitely attest to that. I felt in my teens, I was trying to fit in and I was trying to find my way, and I was anxious about did people think I was in with the crowd? And you know, and I think we all go through this. What was really interesting for me was I think I've kept trying to find my way, which is why I've lived so many different lives, because I've never wanted to not take a step forward. What did you imagine would be your first career path or what did you imagine would be your first venture and what did it end up being?

It's interesting how every teenager goes through this phase of finding our way, and then often we either get stuck in a way that our parents expected or society expected, or we fall into something, or we continue to find our way. And sometimes you're in your thirties or your forties and you're still trying to find your way and you kind of feel out of place because everyone else has stability. But I could definitely attest to that. I felt in my teens, I was trying to fit in and I was trying to find my way, and I was anxious about did people think I was in with the crowd? And you know, and I think we all go through this. What was really interesting for me was I think I've kept trying to find my way, which is why I've lived so many different lives, because I've never wanted to not take a step forward. What did you imagine would be your first career path or what did you imagine would be your first venture and what did it end up being?

Well, you know, as I'm even just in here talking to you, and I'm looking at a microphone that says on purpose. Purpose was always a big thing. Even when I was young, I was thinking like whether it was why am I here? Or what is the way? It was sort of like what is my purpose? And I didn't really have a skill set that I could sort of point to other than I'd probably say early on, I recognized that I was more of a creative.

Well, you know, as I'm even just in here talking to you, and I'm looking at a microphone that says on purpose. Purpose was always a big thing. Even when I was young, I was thinking like whether it was why am I here? Or what is the way? It was sort of like what is my purpose? And I didn't really have a skill set that I could sort of point to other than I'd probably say early on, I recognized that I was more of a creative.

You know.

You know.

I definitely wasn't going to be the academic. I ended up sort of, you know, ditching school a lot due to a lot of kind of unsettling things at home. And so I was, you know, trying to figure out what was the way that I was going to really express myself and knowing that I didn't come from a family that had money, so I was going to have to figure that out for myself. But I knew that I was creative, and it probably I started doing makeup, And I think when I started doing my own makeup, doing friends makeup, I thought I genuinely because I struggle with such low self esteem. I mean, it's gotten a lot better over the years. And I've written, you know, two prior books before these, Redefining Beauty and make up your life all about self esteem and looking and feeling better. And I really thought once I started to make up people and give them this sense of like they looked better and felt better, I had some passion around that. It was something that I thought, Oh, this is a skill set that I can really perfect. And you know, I love the idea and I'm the kind of person if I can do it, then I want to show everybody how to do it. It's like, oh, if I can do this, you can do this, and here's how.

I definitely wasn't going to be the academic. I ended up sort of, you know, ditching school a lot due to a lot of kind of unsettling things at home. And so I was, you know, trying to figure out what was the way that I was going to really express myself and knowing that I didn't come from a family that had money, so I was going to have to figure that out for myself. But I knew that I was creative, and it probably I started doing makeup, And I think when I started doing my own makeup, doing friends makeup, I thought I genuinely because I struggle with such low self esteem. I mean, it's gotten a lot better over the years. And I've written, you know, two prior books before these, Redefining Beauty and make up your life all about self esteem and looking and feeling better. And I really thought once I started to make up people and give them this sense of like they looked better and felt better, I had some passion around that. It was something that I thought, Oh, this is a skill set that I can really perfect. And you know, I love the idea and I'm the kind of person if I can do it, then I want to show everybody how to do it. It's like, oh, if I can do this, you can do this, and here's how.

So if social media existed, you would have been one of the first beauty influences. That's what would have happened, because makeup was one of the big things that took off on social media in the early days.

So if social media existed, you would have been one of the first beauty influences. That's what would have happened, because makeup was one of the big things that took off on social media in the early days.

Absolutely, that's how my infomercials were so successful because I was actually teaching you on my DVDs how you could actually do your makeup, you know, from start to finish. So that's what I was doing. I was putting all the cosmetics together, here's how to use them. Long before I was I had my own radio show before there were podcasts where I was doing makeovers on the radio, and they said, if you can actually get people to call in and do a makeover on the radio. You can have the airtime. So yeah, this was the early days, and I love that. I love the teaching aspect of it.

Absolutely, that's how my infomercials were so successful because I was actually teaching you on my DVDs how you could actually do your makeup, you know, from start to finish. So that's what I was doing. I was putting all the cosmetics together, here's how to use them. Long before I was I had my own radio show before there were podcasts where I was doing makeovers on the radio, and they said, if you can actually get people to call in and do a makeover on the radio. You can have the airtime. So yeah, this was the early days, and I love that. I love the teaching aspect of it.

What gave you the confidence? I think what's really fascinating about that is you're a young person with low self esteem. You're confused about who you are, you have anxiety, but then all of a sudden, you feel I'm passionate about makeup and actually I feel confident to teach others or share that. How does that switch happen? Because I think so many of our listeners are in that position right now where they feel anxious. Maybe some of them have imposter syndrome. Maybe some of them are listening and they're going, Jay, I just don't know where to see star. Or maybe I know what my passion is, but I'm not good enough. And you know, we have this lack of belief in ourselves. Yeah, how did you switch from an anxious to I actually like teaching and sharing. Yeah?

What gave you the confidence? I think what's really fascinating about that is you're a young person with low self esteem. You're confused about who you are, you have anxiety, but then all of a sudden, you feel I'm passionate about makeup and actually I feel confident to teach others or share that. How does that switch happen? Because I think so many of our listeners are in that position right now where they feel anxious. Maybe some of them have imposter syndrome. Maybe some of them are listening and they're going, Jay, I just don't know where to see star. Or maybe I know what my passion is, but I'm not good enough. And you know, we have this lack of belief in ourselves. Yeah, how did you switch from an anxious to I actually like teaching and sharing. Yeah?

Well, by the way, while I was teaching and sharing, I was also anxious, So I managed to pull double duty at the same time. I just went for it, you know. So for me, for example, I wanted to get in the world of makeup. If you were to look at my portfolio and go through my very early early, you know, photographs of makeup. Not the best makeup in the world, you know, so like I had to learn it and perfect it, and you know, I had the eye for it, but I had to now really hone my skill set to match what my eyes were seeing, and ultimately came up which was my concept of the no makeup makeup as the original person sort of doing that in the in the late eighties when everybody had on tons of makeup.

Well, by the way, while I was teaching and sharing, I was also anxious, So I managed to pull double duty at the same time. I just went for it, you know. So for me, for example, I wanted to get in the world of makeup. If you were to look at my portfolio and go through my very early early, you know, photographs of makeup. Not the best makeup in the world, you know, so like I had to learn it and perfect it, and you know, I had the eye for it, but I had to now really hone my skill set to match what my eyes were seeing, and ultimately came up which was my concept of the no makeup makeup as the original person sort of doing that in the in the late eighties when everybody had on tons of makeup.

Explain that to us, break that down for people who who may not have either been around or not know fully what that was in the beginning. Yeah, because I think yet.

Explain that to us, break that down for people who who may not have either been around or not know fully what that was in the beginning. Yeah, because I think yet.

In the eighties, you think about like shoulder pads and the music videos that were out there, and there was a lot of makeup. And my whole thing was and there really wasn't even a makeup that existed at the time. Let's talk about just even a foundation, a base color that you use on your skin now to even out your skin tone that was more natural. Everything was these kind of crazy tones or pinks or oranges, and I wanted to just help women look beautiful, look great, but without feeling like they had makeup on, so that they could really look like themselves and not use it as war paint or a way to necessarily be someone else, but just feel confident in themselves. And so I had no idea how to actually create makeup, So I just started as a makeup artist. I started mixing in my garage pots and pants and making up concoctions that I would use on my makeup jobs. And that's really how I started.

In the eighties, you think about like shoulder pads and the music videos that were out there, and there was a lot of makeup. And my whole thing was and there really wasn't even a makeup that existed at the time. Let's talk about just even a foundation, a base color that you use on your skin now to even out your skin tone that was more natural. Everything was these kind of crazy tones or pinks or oranges, and I wanted to just help women look beautiful, look great, but without feeling like they had makeup on, so that they could really look like themselves and not use it as war paint or a way to necessarily be someone else, but just feel confident in themselves. And so I had no idea how to actually create makeup, So I just started as a makeup artist. I started mixing in my garage pots and pants and making up concoctions that I would use on my makeup jobs. And that's really how I started.

That. What I love about that, you know, one everyone who's listening and watching to know this is that the first time you do anything, it won't be that great and it's okay, And it's good to know that. I think a lot of us think, well, before I do something, I've got to have the perfect name, have the perfect branding, have the perfect product, have the perfect service. And the truth is, ninety veen percent of the time, the first thing you put out there is never going to be that great. If you look at the first version of Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat or anything we use today, the first version of Amazon, the first version of makeup. If you look at all of the first versions, they weren't that great. And I think a lot of us. We're kind of knocking up against that, going, I want to put something perfect out before we've even made any progress.

That. What I love about that, you know, one everyone who's listening and watching to know this is that the first time you do anything, it won't be that great and it's okay, And it's good to know that. I think a lot of us think, well, before I do something, I've got to have the perfect name, have the perfect branding, have the perfect product, have the perfect service. And the truth is, ninety veen percent of the time, the first thing you put out there is never going to be that great. If you look at the first version of Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat or anything we use today, the first version of Amazon, the first version of makeup. If you look at all of the first versions, they weren't that great. And I think a lot of us. We're kind of knocking up against that, going, I want to put something perfect out before we've even made any progress.

Yeah, and you have to just you have to just have patience with yourself and patience with the project, but you have the process, but you have to just be willing to even put yourself out there and try. For me, I was like, I want to do make up. I want to you know, do for magines and things like that. Okay, how do I start contacting photographers and building a portfolio and just be willing to you know, even women And they'd be so afraid to do their makeup. And I'm like, what's the worst that's going to happen. You're not going to like it, you wash it off, you know. So I did twenty years of going to the jails, twenty years of going into the jails and doing makeup for women there where. Think about it where I would say women would be I'd go, what do you want your makeup to say? And I'd have women go I want my makeup to say pull over. You know, like a lot of women that were you know, working the streets or whatever. And I'd be like, Okay, let's change the message on that let's talk about you know, self respect, and I would see the energy of hundreds of gals in there that were, you know, really ready to hear something, and how it just evened out, leveled out the room with people that when they saw themselves kind of a before and after or it really changed the whole energy. So I got really passionate about this whole thing I ultimately called the power of mascara and looking better and feeling better about yourself. But it was all, you know, as I'm teaching it, I'm learning as well, and I've been I think, you know, due to an incident that happened when I was really young, sort of going back to that thinking something really bad was going to happen to me. I was one of the early victims in nineteen seventy three of the Pillowcase rapist, and that left me with, you know, obviously a lot of emotional scars and things that I've spent a lifetime working on, but very claustrophobic. So then going to the jails for twenty years was very claustrophobic to put yourself in a very uncomfortable situation to you know, have to. But I was there because I really believed in what I was doing in the message, and it really was very instrumental and helpful and in the other parts of my life. As I say, as you talked about mascara to medicine that were really important.

Yeah, and you have to just you have to just have patience with yourself and patience with the project, but you have the process, but you have to just be willing to even put yourself out there and try. For me, I was like, I want to do make up. I want to you know, do for magines and things like that. Okay, how do I start contacting photographers and building a portfolio and just be willing to you know, even women And they'd be so afraid to do their makeup. And I'm like, what's the worst that's going to happen. You're not going to like it, you wash it off, you know. So I did twenty years of going to the jails, twenty years of going into the jails and doing makeup for women there where. Think about it where I would say women would be I'd go, what do you want your makeup to say? And I'd have women go I want my makeup to say pull over. You know, like a lot of women that were you know, working the streets or whatever. And I'd be like, Okay, let's change the message on that let's talk about you know, self respect, and I would see the energy of hundreds of gals in there that were, you know, really ready to hear something, and how it just evened out, leveled out the room with people that when they saw themselves kind of a before and after or it really changed the whole energy. So I got really passionate about this whole thing I ultimately called the power of mascara and looking better and feeling better about yourself. But it was all, you know, as I'm teaching it, I'm learning as well, and I've been I think, you know, due to an incident that happened when I was really young, sort of going back to that thinking something really bad was going to happen to me. I was one of the early victims in nineteen seventy three of the Pillowcase rapist, and that left me with, you know, obviously a lot of emotional scars and things that I've spent a lifetime working on, but very claustrophobic. So then going to the jails for twenty years was very claustrophobic to put yourself in a very uncomfortable situation to you know, have to. But I was there because I really believed in what I was doing in the message, and it really was very instrumental and helpful and in the other parts of my life. As I say, as you talked about mascara to medicine that were really important.

Hey guys, it's Jay Sheddy here and I couldn't be more excited to share this exciting news you asked. We delivered Juny sparkling tea with adaptogens made by my wife and I are now available in all Sprout locations across the country. Juni is the perfect midday pick me up. With only one third of the caffeine found in brood Green tea, it provides a gentle energy boost without the crash. It only has five calories and zero grams of sugar, making it the perfect drink. Plus, it's made with the delicious blend of adaptogens and neotropics that may help boost your metabolism, combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain function. Head over to your local Sprouts of visit sprouts dot com to find the closest location near you. I'm glad you brought that up because we've spoken about that offline before. Could you walk us through and explain a bit more about the Pillowcuse rapist, just to get a sense of who that was, what that was, etc. To get a sense of and exactly the experience you had, Because I just I want people to have that context when we're looking at the rest of your life and the rest of your story as we dive in today, because if someone's unaware, it can be easy to look at your journey. And I think we do this a lot today where we look at a snapshot of someone's life and we think, well, they've done it all, they've made it, they've achieved it, they shouldn't have anything to worry about. And then when you kind of look at someone's life in full perspective, you recognize there's so much more to it. I often give the analogy to people if if you walk into a movie halfway and you see someone's life, you might think they have the best life in the world. If you didn't see the start of the movie and then the end of the movie, you don't really know their full picture. So for that reason, I'd love for you to shed some light in context on that.

Hey guys, it's Jay Sheddy here and I couldn't be more excited to share this exciting news you asked. We delivered Juny sparkling tea with adaptogens made by my wife and I are now available in all Sprout locations across the country. Juni is the perfect midday pick me up. With only one third of the caffeine found in brood Green tea, it provides a gentle energy boost without the crash. It only has five calories and zero grams of sugar, making it the perfect drink. Plus, it's made with the delicious blend of adaptogens and neotropics that may help boost your metabolism, combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain function. Head over to your local Sprouts of visit sprouts dot com to find the closest location near you. I'm glad you brought that up because we've spoken about that offline before. Could you walk us through and explain a bit more about the Pillowcuse rapist, just to get a sense of who that was, what that was, etc. To get a sense of and exactly the experience you had, Because I just I want people to have that context when we're looking at the rest of your life and the rest of your story as we dive in today, because if someone's unaware, it can be easy to look at your journey. And I think we do this a lot today where we look at a snapshot of someone's life and we think, well, they've done it all, they've made it, they've achieved it, they shouldn't have anything to worry about. And then when you kind of look at someone's life in full perspective, you recognize there's so much more to it. I often give the analogy to people if if you walk into a movie halfway and you see someone's life, you might think they have the best life in the world. If you didn't see the start of the movie and then the end of the movie, you don't really know their full picture. So for that reason, I'd love for you to shed some light in context on that.

Yeah, I think you're exactly right. I mean, there's this snapshot and then there's the film, and I think in my early mind, in the reel of the film, that was probably playing in my head, and as I said, feeling like there was a reason that I was here and that purpose. And if somebody would have told me that ultimately I'd be getting drugs make and working to cure a disease and finding a cure for a disease, I would have never believed it. But I did always have that feeling of somebody, as I said, that was going to get me. And to put a little context to California has had, there was the pillowcase rapists in the seventies, and then as if we all needed another pillowcase rapist, there's been another one since. But the pillowcase rapist that unfortunately was involved in my early days in life, came into the house when my whole family was home. We lived in a duplex, was actually in West Hollywood. As again I used to because I felt I was always a target of potentially something. I would get teased a little bit, and I had an older brother that would sometimes tease me, and so he's a very nice guy, but sometimes you know, people just I think nobody ever thought that anything was going to happen to me. And one night when I came home, it's that sort of really scary scene you see in a movie where you're in your room, and I had the room off the back of the house and I look up in the mirror and I see somebody right behind me, you know, and it's that awful thing, and you're like in a ski mask holding something with it looked like a dish rag hanging over it. And I thought it was my brother, maybe playing a joke. And I turn around and I'm like, you know, what are you doing? And I heard in a voice that I knew was completely unrecognizable to me when somebody says, don't move that it was not a good thing. At that point, I thought, since my whole family was home and it was really late at night, I thought I was really the last victim and that he had, you know, killed my entire family and I was the last one. And without going into all the horrible details of it, it was definitely a situation where for the first time I really experienced that disassociation going out of body where I made a really conscious which then kind of goes unconscious decision to be above what was happening. To my body and to the situation at the time, and obviously thinking about my family, and it was like really looking down and I just thought, wow, I'm seventeen. I was just about I thought to graduate high school. And I thought, I can't believe it ends here, you know, like this doesn't feel like the end of the story. There's a reason I'm here, and I knew. I had a moment where when I saw a part of his calling card and trademark is when he had me in a position where I could see he was pulling the pillowcase off of my pillow. What he did was he would then put them over your head and he suffocated, and that would be you know, obviously lights out for you. And when I saw that as he was starting to put it over my head, I really made this very decision like I am going to on three and you know where you have that where you're thinking is that you're so freaked out, like is a sound going to come out? Am I going to just be screaming in my head? But I was like, on three, I'm going to scream, and I'm going to scream really loud, and this is either going to be the end of me because he did have a knife, and he did had stabbed my leg and my stomach and part of my face that I thought, well, this could be the end. But I just in my head counted to three, and on three, I screamed and he dropped the knife. Surprisingly, he pulled off his ski mask. I couldn't really identify him, but I guess again that another sort of calling card that they knew it was him. And he ran out, and my door in my bedroom I remember, you know, sometimes would get stuck and he's like trying to pull the get out, and I'm like, oh my gosh. So it was just and then obviously I ran upstairs to find out that my parents they were asleep. I was the only victim in the house because he had come in through the put his hand up through the dog door that we had. It's you know, we didn't really have security in the house per se. Then it was really just locked the door, and he had unlocked I never have a dog door again, the door, and that's how he had gotten in.

Yeah, I think you're exactly right. I mean, there's this snapshot and then there's the film, and I think in my early mind, in the reel of the film, that was probably playing in my head, and as I said, feeling like there was a reason that I was here and that purpose. And if somebody would have told me that ultimately I'd be getting drugs make and working to cure a disease and finding a cure for a disease, I would have never believed it. But I did always have that feeling of somebody, as I said, that was going to get me. And to put a little context to California has had, there was the pillowcase rapists in the seventies, and then as if we all needed another pillowcase rapist, there's been another one since. But the pillowcase rapist that unfortunately was involved in my early days in life, came into the house when my whole family was home. We lived in a duplex, was actually in West Hollywood. As again I used to because I felt I was always a target of potentially something. I would get teased a little bit, and I had an older brother that would sometimes tease me, and so he's a very nice guy, but sometimes you know, people just I think nobody ever thought that anything was going to happen to me. And one night when I came home, it's that sort of really scary scene you see in a movie where you're in your room, and I had the room off the back of the house and I look up in the mirror and I see somebody right behind me, you know, and it's that awful thing, and you're like in a ski mask holding something with it looked like a dish rag hanging over it. And I thought it was my brother, maybe playing a joke. And I turn around and I'm like, you know, what are you doing? And I heard in a voice that I knew was completely unrecognizable to me when somebody says, don't move that it was not a good thing. At that point, I thought, since my whole family was home and it was really late at night, I thought I was really the last victim and that he had, you know, killed my entire family and I was the last one. And without going into all the horrible details of it, it was definitely a situation where for the first time I really experienced that disassociation going out of body where I made a really conscious which then kind of goes unconscious decision to be above what was happening. To my body and to the situation at the time, and obviously thinking about my family, and it was like really looking down and I just thought, wow, I'm seventeen. I was just about I thought to graduate high school. And I thought, I can't believe it ends here, you know, like this doesn't feel like the end of the story. There's a reason I'm here, and I knew. I had a moment where when I saw a part of his calling card and trademark is when he had me in a position where I could see he was pulling the pillowcase off of my pillow. What he did was he would then put them over your head and he suffocated, and that would be you know, obviously lights out for you. And when I saw that as he was starting to put it over my head, I really made this very decision like I am going to on three and you know where you have that where you're thinking is that you're so freaked out, like is a sound going to come out? Am I going to just be screaming in my head? But I was like, on three, I'm going to scream, and I'm going to scream really loud, and this is either going to be the end of me because he did have a knife, and he did had stabbed my leg and my stomach and part of my face that I thought, well, this could be the end. But I just in my head counted to three, and on three, I screamed and he dropped the knife. Surprisingly, he pulled off his ski mask. I couldn't really identify him, but I guess again that another sort of calling card that they knew it was him. And he ran out, and my door in my bedroom I remember, you know, sometimes would get stuck and he's like trying to pull the get out, and I'm like, oh my gosh. So it was just and then obviously I ran upstairs to find out that my parents they were asleep. I was the only victim in the house because he had come in through the put his hand up through the dog door that we had. It's you know, we didn't really have security in the house per se. Then it was really just locked the door, and he had unlocked I never have a dog door again, the door, and that's how he had gotten in.

I literally got chows listening to that story because it's so you know, it's such a horrific, horrendous thing to have to live through and I'm grateful you shared it with us. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and open and sharing that. How do you not let that let you live in fear for the rest of your life. What's the next thing you do from something like that? Because that would be if you didn't do anything, ever, it would be completely valid because it's such a painful experience to go through. Yeah, how do you respond? How do you react? What's the first thing you do after something like.

I literally got chows listening to that story because it's so you know, it's such a horrific, horrendous thing to have to live through and I'm grateful you shared it with us. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and open and sharing that. How do you not let that let you live in fear for the rest of your life. What's the next thing you do from something like that? Because that would be if you didn't do anything, ever, it would be completely valid because it's such a painful experience to go through. Yeah, how do you respond? How do you react? What's the first thing you do after something like.

I mean, obviously, you know I was hysterical, and I was you know, there was the relief of my parents and you know, being okay, but you know, there was just I knew that I could never go back in my house. I left, I didn't graduate high school, and you know, I got married, like as soon as I turned eighteen. I didn't want to be alone. So for me, it really manifested it in fear of being by myself, of somebody getting me again. But I also knew that there just was a reason that I was here. And it was shortly after that actually that that's when I started going to the jails and started to do the work there because I thought, how does this happen? Like, how do people go down these roads. You know, what is it that you know makes somebody make the choices in their life? And I just knew that for me, I wanted to find what it is ultimately that I was supposed to be doing. And the closest thing at that time, because I wasn't going to be going to college because I didn't graduate high school was going to beauty school. I thought, I can get a I can get my own little scholarship there and go and you know, start doing it through the one way that I knew. The only skill that I thought I had was in this kind of being this creative and wanting to help women look and feel better about themselves. So I just I started there really with no money and that vision and decided that that's that's what I was going to do.

I mean, obviously, you know I was hysterical, and I was you know, there was the relief of my parents and you know, being okay, but you know, there was just I knew that I could never go back in my house. I left, I didn't graduate high school, and you know, I got married, like as soon as I turned eighteen. I didn't want to be alone. So for me, it really manifested it in fear of being by myself, of somebody getting me again. But I also knew that there just was a reason that I was here. And it was shortly after that actually that that's when I started going to the jails and started to do the work there because I thought, how does this happen? Like, how do people go down these roads. You know, what is it that you know makes somebody make the choices in their life? And I just knew that for me, I wanted to find what it is ultimately that I was supposed to be doing. And the closest thing at that time, because I wasn't going to be going to college because I didn't graduate high school was going to beauty school. I thought, I can get a I can get my own little scholarship there and go and you know, start doing it through the one way that I knew. The only skill that I thought I had was in this kind of being this creative and wanting to help women look and feel better about themselves. So I just I started there really with no money and that vision and decided that that's that's what I was going to do.

It's a tough question, but did you get an answer when you started visiting the prisons of why people did certain things? Did you did you find or discover anything or hear anything? And on top of that, did the pillar gase rapists go to prison as well?

It's a tough question, but did you get an answer when you started visiting the prisons of why people did certain things? Did you did you find or discover anything or hear anything? And on top of that, did the pillar gase rapists go to prison as well?

Yes, the pillowcase rapist was finally caught in prison and he's no longer with us, he's gone, thank goodness. No sadness around that for me. So, uh yeah, going to the jails, you really see. I mean there were times that I would go because after going twenty years and going, you know, every other month, that's a lot of visits and you hear a lot of different people's stories. And I remember going at times where there was a mom, a daughter, and a grandmother. They were all there and it was just like, Wow, how does this happen? And so there was a lot of stories of you know, in my mind too, because I didn't want to judge. I had to make everybody but like everyone's here as a drunk driver, you know, you're sort of like I wanted to equalize the room so that even though you're maybe seeing the teardrops at the end of somebody eyes of you know, maybe what they've done in life. I didn't want to judge. I wanted to just stay to my to my message, which I could see that doing these makeovers and people seeing themselves differently, especially women who had maybe had to like crazy eyebrows or whatever it was, that it had really sort of changed them into just somebody that they looked different, but who they were inside was very different. I wanted to get to that, and I wanted them to feel that, you know, you may be in jail today, but you know, when you get out tomorrow or when you get out, you know there's a whole new world out there, and there can be a whole new you out there. And that was that really took on the life of the power of mascara. And obviously it was never about selling them my cosmetics or anything like that, because I'm very much for women and whatever makeup they like it.

Yes, the pillowcase rapist was finally caught in prison and he's no longer with us, he's gone, thank goodness. No sadness around that for me. So, uh yeah, going to the jails, you really see. I mean there were times that I would go because after going twenty years and going, you know, every other month, that's a lot of visits and you hear a lot of different people's stories. And I remember going at times where there was a mom, a daughter, and a grandmother. They were all there and it was just like, Wow, how does this happen? And so there was a lot of stories of you know, in my mind too, because I didn't want to judge. I had to make everybody but like everyone's here as a drunk driver, you know, you're sort of like I wanted to equalize the room so that even though you're maybe seeing the teardrops at the end of somebody eyes of you know, maybe what they've done in life. I didn't want to judge. I wanted to just stay to my to my message, which I could see that doing these makeovers and people seeing themselves differently, especially women who had maybe had to like crazy eyebrows or whatever it was, that it had really sort of changed them into just somebody that they looked different, but who they were inside was very different. I wanted to get to that, and I wanted them to feel that, you know, you may be in jail today, but you know, when you get out tomorrow or when you get out, you know there's a whole new world out there, and there can be a whole new you out there. And that was that really took on the life of the power of mascara. And obviously it was never about selling them my cosmetics or anything like that, because I'm very much for women and whatever makeup they like it.

Yeah, it works absolutely, and I think it's incredible how much our appearance does affect our confidence. And I've seen it. There are so many of these great videos on social media of a lot of hairdressers and barbers going onto the streets and doing free cuts for the homeless, and you hear their reaction. I've seen some of these videos where you hear their reaction before and after and how they feel about looking at themselves in the mirror and how it can be such a boost for confidence as well. Yes, and so that definitely resonates. How did it go from being your passion and something that you are so connected to as a way of helping people build self esteem to then becoming a very successful business. There's lots of steps in between. What were some of the key things you'd think transformed it from a great small business to something quite successful.

Yeah, it works absolutely, and I think it's incredible how much our appearance does affect our confidence. And I've seen it. There are so many of these great videos on social media of a lot of hairdressers and barbers going onto the streets and doing free cuts for the homeless, and you hear their reaction. I've seen some of these videos where you hear their reaction before and after and how they feel about looking at themselves in the mirror and how it can be such a boost for confidence as well. Yes, and so that definitely resonates. How did it go from being your passion and something that you are so connected to as a way of helping people build self esteem to then becoming a very successful business. There's lots of steps in between. What were some of the key things you'd think transformed it from a great small business to something quite successful.

Well, I think basically it's really in the world of the no makeup makeup, nothing existed, you know, and especially so you think about in you know, when you're in the jails again, I was trying to strip down people to the essence of who they were, and to me, at the core of that is this no makeup makeup that's really and so there was nothing in the world of say foundations at the time that would be kind of the starting point for that. That to me was going to be what I built my business around and became. You know, I created over six hundred products over the course of thirteen years. But my Foundation, which I sold millions millions of units of, was just based on more natural looking skin tone shades that look like you didn't have layers of makeup on. So that really came from not only the jobs that I was doing, but from all those years of going to the jails and really wanting to help women look like themselves and not you know, pile on all the makeup. So when I said, as I was making these shades and pots and pants in my garage. I had to find a cosmetic chemist. You know, like at the time you're looking in the Yellow Pages, nobody out there knows what the Yellow Pages are, that that's a directory that, yeah, exactly, and you're going in. I found a cosmetic chemist and said, hey, you know, I want to this is what I want to do. I want to create these shades, these textures, these fields. And I started. And then while I again wanting to teach what I do and never having graduated or gone to college, I thought, you know what, I want to teach this. I'm going to call UCLA. They have an extension program. Maybe I could teach some of what I'm doing as a Hollywood makeup artist and teach that. I did that for ten years as an extension course that was again sold out every quarter. People wanted to learn how to do it. Whether it was I had so many men taking it, you know, guys that maybe just wanted to meet gals, you know, and do their makeup, but it was another way that I could just see people wanted to connect in this way. So I thought, this is great. And then through doing that at UCLA, one of my students actually said, you know, I know this group of guys that are selling products through television, and I said, wow, I think I have a great idea of how to sell products through TV color cosmetics, which no one was doing at the time because this is the late eighties and I hadn't really perfected my kit, but you know, we do that little bit of that fake it till you make it, and act as if so when she put me together with the guys, I basically said, I have this idea for these color kits, you know, peach, pink, and red, and I'll put all of the colors and products and things you need together and then I'm going to teach you how to do it. And basically, that long story short, they decided to roll the dice on that and shoot an infomercial, and the very infomercial I did with two celebrities at the time, Ali McGrath and Lisa Hartman, we started doing a million dollars a week in sales. I mean, clearly there was an appetite for women wanting to know how to do their makeup and feeling that confidence and reassurance that I tried to give in my three hour tutorials that you never see.

Well, I think basically it's really in the world of the no makeup makeup, nothing existed, you know, and especially so you think about in you know, when you're in the jails again, I was trying to strip down people to the essence of who they were, and to me, at the core of that is this no makeup makeup that's really and so there was nothing in the world of say foundations at the time that would be kind of the starting point for that. That to me was going to be what I built my business around and became. You know, I created over six hundred products over the course of thirteen years. But my Foundation, which I sold millions millions of units of, was just based on more natural looking skin tone shades that look like you didn't have layers of makeup on. So that really came from not only the jobs that I was doing, but from all those years of going to the jails and really wanting to help women look like themselves and not you know, pile on all the makeup. So when I said, as I was making these shades and pots and pants in my garage. I had to find a cosmetic chemist. You know, like at the time you're looking in the Yellow Pages, nobody out there knows what the Yellow Pages are, that that's a directory that, yeah, exactly, and you're going in. I found a cosmetic chemist and said, hey, you know, I want to this is what I want to do. I want to create these shades, these textures, these fields. And I started. And then while I again wanting to teach what I do and never having graduated or gone to college, I thought, you know what, I want to teach this. I'm going to call UCLA. They have an extension program. Maybe I could teach some of what I'm doing as a Hollywood makeup artist and teach that. I did that for ten years as an extension course that was again sold out every quarter. People wanted to learn how to do it. Whether it was I had so many men taking it, you know, guys that maybe just wanted to meet gals, you know, and do their makeup, but it was another way that I could just see people wanted to connect in this way. So I thought, this is great. And then through doing that at UCLA, one of my students actually said, you know, I know this group of guys that are selling products through television, and I said, wow, I think I have a great idea of how to sell products through TV color cosmetics, which no one was doing at the time because this is the late eighties and I hadn't really perfected my kit, but you know, we do that little bit of that fake it till you make it, and act as if so when she put me together with the guys, I basically said, I have this idea for these color kits, you know, peach, pink, and red, and I'll put all of the colors and products and things you need together and then I'm going to teach you how to do it. And basically, that long story short, they decided to roll the dice on that and shoot an infomercial, and the very infomercial I did with two celebrities at the time, Ali McGrath and Lisa Hartman, we started doing a million dollars a week in sales. I mean, clearly there was an appetite for women wanting to know how to do their makeup and feeling that confidence and reassurance that I tried to give in my three hour tutorials that you never see.

Now, that's incredible, that's amazing. And did you find that building this business and helping these people and helping your customers but also women that you met in the prisons, did that help how you felt about yourself and what you'd been through or was there not a correlation? Was healing a part of that, or was healing having to happen separate that.

Now, that's incredible, that's amazing. And did you find that building this business and helping these people and helping your customers but also women that you met in the prisons, did that help how you felt about yourself and what you'd been through or was there not a correlation? Was healing a part of that, or was healing having to happen separate that.

Yeah, healing is a part of everything. I think we all just you know, healing happens, whether sometimes we even know it or not. It's on like a cellular level, so you know, it's whatever piece of what you're doing at the time. I've gone through so many different stages of healing because I've gone through so many different experiences, as I said, you know, as my life has gone from like what I look at in the two parts, you know, the mess Scarra to medicine, so it's all all of that journey has informed me and my healing in so many different ways.

Yeah, healing is a part of everything. I think we all just you know, healing happens, whether sometimes we even know it or not. It's on like a cellular level, so you know, it's whatever piece of what you're doing at the time. I've gone through so many different stages of healing because I've gone through so many different experiences, as I said, you know, as my life has gone from like what I look at in the two parts, you know, the mess Scarra to medicine, so it's all all of that journey has informed me and my healing in so many different ways.

Did you find that you were saying that your experience made you rush into not wanting to be alone and obviously got married very young. Did you find that led to some codependency which caused challenges in relationships or did you actually was that something that you feel your partner was good at navigating and dealing with, because I can imagine that when you don't want to be alone, and of course, based on the traumatic experience that you had, it's very valid, but I wonder how that affects the other person as well, and how you navigated that, especially in the early years.

Did you find that you were saying that your experience made you rush into not wanting to be alone and obviously got married very young. Did you find that led to some codependency which caused challenges in relationships or did you actually was that something that you feel your partner was good at navigating and dealing with, because I can imagine that when you don't want to be alone, and of course, based on the traumatic experience that you had, it's very valid, but I wonder how that affects the other person as well, and how you navigated that, especially in the early years.

Well, I think it started even earlier because I had you know, as I said, my parents had a lot of problems together, and my biological dad put me up for adoption when I was nine years old, so my stepdad had adopted me, and so I really very early on, i'd say, really never felt, you know, how to have a relationship, especially with a father, with a man, and the fact that I'm now married, this is my third time, So yeah, i'd say, did I have codependent problems? And being frightened and you know, being afraid to be alone definitely created issues because I was afraid and I was still trying to figure out me. And so i'd definitely say that's been a theme. And even now I've worked really hard, you know, and especially in raising three kids. You know, when you have your first child, you really have to think about all of your own stuff. And there were times where I always say, you know, I didn't just hang my hat on my son, I hung my wardrobe, you know. I mean, you bring a lot of your stuff. So it's been really a conscious thing, and I think for all of us thinking about how the past informs us of what we bring to the table, and how we have to navigate our relationships, our love relationships, and all of our family relationships. And it can be really challenging, and you can become the quote unquote identified patient and how you sort of navigate that in your world in your life.

Well, I think it started even earlier because I had you know, as I said, my parents had a lot of problems together, and my biological dad put me up for adoption when I was nine years old, so my stepdad had adopted me, and so I really very early on, i'd say, really never felt, you know, how to have a relationship, especially with a father, with a man, and the fact that I'm now married, this is my third time, So yeah, i'd say, did I have codependent problems? And being frightened and you know, being afraid to be alone definitely created issues because I was afraid and I was still trying to figure out me. And so i'd definitely say that's been a theme. And even now I've worked really hard, you know, and especially in raising three kids. You know, when you have your first child, you really have to think about all of your own stuff. And there were times where I always say, you know, I didn't just hang my hat on my son, I hung my wardrobe, you know. I mean, you bring a lot of your stuff. So it's been really a conscious thing, and I think for all of us thinking about how the past informs us of what we bring to the table, and how we have to navigate our relationships, our love relationships, and all of our family relationships. And it can be really challenging, and you can become the quote unquote identified patient and how you sort of navigate that in your world in your life.

I've often spoken to doctors, to their experts, and they talk about how much we need to look at our genetic past and our history and our family of health. And it's so interesting how on the physical level that's true, and it's true on the emotional level as well. But sometimes it can be so hard to look at the emotional background of our family and how it's affected us, because a lot of us go through life believing that our parents are super human. In the beginning, some of us feel that way for a long, long long time, and it's almost like the earlier we've recognized that our parents are humans just like we are, and we all have challenges and flaws that sometimes the healthier conversations and connection we can have with them as well. Your journey with your children has been a labor of love in so many ways. And I want to talk about Ali, who I had the pleasure of meeting, who you know is your co author on this book, yes, and has been at the core of your journey and connection to the medical world, from mascara to medicine and looking into that world for you. As you said earlier, you were like, I didn't really feel like I was loved in that way. Walk me through what it feels like when your daughter, who you love so deeply gets diagnosed with an illness that is very rare, and on top of that, you here she doesn't have very long to live. Oh, I just can't imagine. I'm not a parent, but I can't imagine. Therefore, I can't imagine what that feels like. Can you walk us through what that moment feels like when you've raised someone for what fourteen years?

I've often spoken to doctors, to their experts, and they talk about how much we need to look at our genetic past and our history and our family of health. And it's so interesting how on the physical level that's true, and it's true on the emotional level as well. But sometimes it can be so hard to look at the emotional background of our family and how it's affected us, because a lot of us go through life believing that our parents are super human. In the beginning, some of us feel that way for a long, long long time, and it's almost like the earlier we've recognized that our parents are humans just like we are, and we all have challenges and flaws that sometimes the healthier conversations and connection we can have with them as well. Your journey with your children has been a labor of love in so many ways. And I want to talk about Ali, who I had the pleasure of meeting, who you know is your co author on this book, yes, and has been at the core of your journey and connection to the medical world, from mascara to medicine and looking into that world for you. As you said earlier, you were like, I didn't really feel like I was loved in that way. Walk me through what it feels like when your daughter, who you love so deeply gets diagnosed with an illness that is very rare, and on top of that, you here she doesn't have very long to live. Oh, I just can't imagine. I'm not a parent, but I can't imagine. Therefore, I can't imagine what that feels like. Can you walk us through what that moment feels like when you've raised someone for what fourteen years?

And you know, yeah, I mean my life changed, you know, my life changed when Ali was you know, I have three children, and when Ali was diagnosed at fourteen, you know where, you know, completely healthy, fine, and you know, we're going to a premier, a premiere of a movie. We're going to go see something. And she's saying she has an eyeball headache, and I'm thinking, oh, you know, okay, you know, and she says her vision's getting a little fuzzy, and I'm just thinking, well, I'm you know, I'm sure it's nothing. We'll go see the eye doctor, will get you some drops, and you know, you don't think anything of it. And then all of a sudden, I find out you're going through to the eye doctor that he doesn't she doesn't examine and says, like, she's got this optic neritis and we need to find out optic neurritis is the swelling of the optic nerve and we need to find out what's going on and go to an op the neural ologist and find out that, you know, And now I'm going he's saying, you've got to go to a neurologist, and ultimately the neurologist is taking a series of doing a series of tests, wanted to do a spinal tap, a lumbar puncture, and I'm like why, Like she's just got something going on with her eyes. What are y'all doing? You know? And it was it was really scary. And he's decided he's going to do some blood work the neurologists and he starts checking boxes and one of the boxes they check is for something called neuromiolitis optica. And I said, oh, what is that? And he goes, oh, don't worry about it. That would be a nightmare. She's not going to have that. I don't even know why I've ever checked that box. And of course, you know how that goes check that box. And it turned out that that's what Ali had. And so when they called with the results, they basically told myself and my husband that she had four years to live. And it was just life changed. Life changed I in my mind. Right then, I said, okay, well I'm closing it. At that point, I had a billion dollar empire of you know, my cosmetic world. I'm closing that book and I'm going to open the book on medicine and here I am I make lipglass like in cure disease. Yeah. Right, But I was going to do it. I was going to find the way and save my daughter because it was just I mean it takes you to your knees, it takes you to the floor. It just the air goes out of the room. You know, you're just like you don't even know where to begin, and you literally just have to start somewhere. And that's where I just thought, in that moment, that was my purpose. Everything came back to me, the disassociating wall, you know, the rape was happening. I was like, oh, oh, this is it. This is why I'm here. I'm supposed to cure this. And it was just like that just became the mission from that moment.

And you know, yeah, I mean my life changed, you know, my life changed when Ali was you know, I have three children, and when Ali was diagnosed at fourteen, you know where, you know, completely healthy, fine, and you know, we're going to a premier, a premiere of a movie. We're going to go see something. And she's saying she has an eyeball headache, and I'm thinking, oh, you know, okay, you know, and she says her vision's getting a little fuzzy, and I'm just thinking, well, I'm you know, I'm sure it's nothing. We'll go see the eye doctor, will get you some drops, and you know, you don't think anything of it. And then all of a sudden, I find out you're going through to the eye doctor that he doesn't she doesn't examine and says, like, she's got this optic neritis and we need to find out optic neurritis is the swelling of the optic nerve and we need to find out what's going on and go to an op the neural ologist and find out that, you know, And now I'm going he's saying, you've got to go to a neurologist, and ultimately the neurologist is taking a series of doing a series of tests, wanted to do a spinal tap, a lumbar puncture, and I'm like why, Like she's just got something going on with her eyes. What are y'all doing? You know? And it was it was really scary. And he's decided he's going to do some blood work the neurologists and he starts checking boxes and one of the boxes they check is for something called neuromiolitis optica. And I said, oh, what is that? And he goes, oh, don't worry about it. That would be a nightmare. She's not going to have that. I don't even know why I've ever checked that box. And of course, you know how that goes check that box. And it turned out that that's what Ali had. And so when they called with the results, they basically told myself and my husband that she had four years to live. And it was just life changed. Life changed I in my mind. Right then, I said, okay, well I'm closing it. At that point, I had a billion dollar empire of you know, my cosmetic world. I'm closing that book and I'm going to open the book on medicine and here I am I make lipglass like in cure disease. Yeah. Right, But I was going to do it. I was going to find the way and save my daughter because it was just I mean it takes you to your knees, it takes you to the floor. It just the air goes out of the room. You know, you're just like you don't even know where to begin, and you literally just have to start somewhere. And that's where I just thought, in that moment, that was my purpose. Everything came back to me, the disassociating wall, you know, the rape was happening. I was like, oh, oh, this is it. This is why I'm here. I'm supposed to cure this. And it was just like that just became the mission from that moment.

For you. In that moment, it sounds like all of your pains really became your purpose. And that can sometimes be the hardest path to purpose because there are several different paths. There's passion, there's a profession, there's people you love. But then when it's your pain, your pain of seeing your child suffer and getting news like that, what was useful from your cosmetic background that did transfer over into healthcare and medicine or was it just like none of this is useful and I need to build a different skill set because I can imagine and that that transition is not easy mentally, emotionally and of course logistically.

For you. In that moment, it sounds like all of your pains really became your purpose. And that can sometimes be the hardest path to purpose because there are several different paths. There's passion, there's a profession, there's people you love. But then when it's your pain, your pain of seeing your child suffer and getting news like that, what was useful from your cosmetic background that did transfer over into healthcare and medicine or was it just like none of this is useful and I need to build a different skill set because I can imagine and that that transition is not easy mentally, emotionally and of course logistically.

Yeah, it's not easy on any level. Spiritually, I mean, you name it. What I drew upon more than anything was everyone my whole career, my whole life, has always said, oh, you know, even when I was starting my cosmetic company, oh you can't do that. You know, there's a million cosmetic companies out there. So it was the everyone up to that point always telling me I couldn't do it that. I was like, no, I can do this, I can do this. I didn't know how I was going to do this, but I thought no because, as I said, and I really it's all about for me, it's what the power of love and intention, anything's possible. And I loved my daughter and I was going to set this intention and I'd been able to manifest you know, whether it's been through my creative visualization. I see it in my head. I make the picture, and then I'm like, I'm going to work to create this and I need to find this cure and I'm going to be able to I'm going to sit and ask all the questions I put together. The first thing I said to myself is I have to learn about this condition. I've got to educate myself and there I cut to you know, put a group together, and I went to Stanford and I started studying molecular medicine with a group of advisors to understand the process of this particular condition and really start learning. And just sat there with a group of doctors and advisors that I would just pick from. They're in the world of MS or in loopus or rheumatoid arthritis and these other autoimmune diseases, and I just started saying telling them my personal story and of you know, how can you help me? And you know, basically, I was fortunate that I could say, I'm I have a checkbook, and if you're willing to work the way I need you to all work, which was everyone was going to have to collaborate and work together and share information because everybody said they don't do that in the medical world. I said, We're going to find a cure, and this is going to be a model for how we look at curing disease in the world. And I mean I said it on a very big stage for myself. But the biggest thing was always to find a cure and at least find some therapeutics to help me. As Allie was suffering at the time.