What really happens when you open up your marriage?

This week on No Filter, Kate Langbroek sits down with writer Deepa Paul, whose book Ask Me How It Works chronicles the decade she has spent in an open marriage with her husband, Marcus. While the conversation around open relationships has been everywhere lately, Deepa’s story offers a different perspective. For her, non-monogamy didn’t break her marriage. It reshaped it.

Deepa was raised in the Philippines, where divorce is still illegal and the expectation for women is clear: marry once, stay devoted, stay desirable, stay monogamous. But after moving to Amsterdam with her husband, Deepa discovered a version of herself she’d never had permission to explore. One that included desire, autonomy, and eventually, a boyfriend she also loves deeply.

In this candid conversation, Deepa answers the questions so many people have about open marriage but rarely ask out loud:
How does it work? How do you handle jealousy? What happens when one partner gets more attention? How do you parent inside a non-traditional structure? And what do you do when you fall in love with someone else?

You can follow Deepa Paul here. 

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CREDITS:

Guest: Deepa Paul

Host: Kate Langbroek

Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Senior Producer: Bree Player

Audio Producer: Tina Matolov

Video Producer: Josh Green

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Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

What really happens when you open up your marriage?
This week on No Filter, Kate Langbroek sits down with writer Deepa Paul, whose book Ask Me How It Works chronicles the decade she has spent in an open marriage with her husband, Marcus. While the conversation around open relationships has been everywhere lately, Deepa&rsquo;s story offers a different perspective. For her, non-monogamy didn&rsquo;t break her marriage. It reshaped it.
Deepa was raised in the Philippines, where divorce is still illegal and the expectation for women is clear: marry once, stay devoted, stay desirable, stay monogamous. But after moving to Amsterdam with her husband, Deepa discovered a version of herself she&rsquo;d never had permission to explore. One that included desire, autonomy, and eventually, a boyfriend she also loves deeply.
In this candid conversation, Deepa answers the questions so many people have about open marriage but rarely ask out loud: How does it work? How do you handle jealousy? What happens when one partner gets more attention? How do you parent inside a non-traditional structure? And what do you do when you fall in love with someone else?
You can follow Deepa Paul <a href="https://www.instagram.com/storiesbydeepa/?hl=en">here.</a>&nbsp;
THE END BITS:
Listen to more No Filter interviews<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/no-filter/"> here</a> and follow us on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/nofiltermamamia/"> here.</a>
Discover<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/"> more Mamamia podcasts here</a>.
Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au
Share your story, feedback, or dilemma!<a href="https://help.mamamia.com.au/en-US/send-a-podcast-voice-note-467960"> Send us a voice message</a>, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP.
Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review.
CREDITS:
Guest: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/storiesbydeepa/?hl=en">Deepa Paul</a>
Host:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/katelangbroek/?hl=en"> Kate Langbroek</a>
Executive Producer:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/naima_brown_official/"> Naima Brown</a>
Senior Producer:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/breeplayer/?hl=en"> Bree Player</a>
Audio Producer: Tina Matolov
Video Producer: Josh Green
Subscribe to be in the running to WIN THE ULTIMATE SUMMER HOLIDAY: Royal Caribbean Cruise Giveaway! <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/mamamia-royal-caribbean-cruise-giveaway/?utm_source=shownotes&amp;utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=giveaways&amp;utm_campaign=royal-carribean-dec-2025" data-stringify-link="https://www.mamamia.com.au/mamamia-royal-caribbean-cruise-giveaway/?utm_source=shownotes&amp;utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=giveaways&amp;utm_campaign=royal-carribean-dec-2025" data-sk="tooltip_parent">Click here for more information</a>
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

Riveting stories. Fascinating lives. Australia’s #1 interview podcast, with Kate Langbroek.

Riveting stories. Fascinating lives. Australia&rsquo;s #1 interview podcast, with Kate Langbroek.

No Filter

“I Love My Husband. I Also Love My Boyfriend.” How an Open Marriage Really Works

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/84e32ccf-3a5f-475e-a405-b3a80016f1d9/transcript