NFL Players: Second ActsJon Dorenbos on career-ending heart surgery, Jeffrey Lurie locker room hangouts, how magic helped him cope with his father’s horrific crime
On the latest NFL Players: Second Acts podcast, two-time Pro-Bowler Jon Dorenbos sits down with hosts Charles “Peanut” Tillman and Roman Harper.
After being diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm following a trade in 2017 to the New Orleans Saints, Jon underwent immediate heart surgery that ended his football career. He opens up about that trade that saved his life, and the three rules he learned in therapy that guide his life. Jon shares why he reveres Sean Payton for the gesture Payton gave him that Jon says gave him closure to his playing career. Jon talks to the guys about his father’s brutal murder of his mother, and shares the emotional details of their meeting after his father’s release from prison. Jon reflects on his passion for performing magic tricks and how it became a source of solace after losing his mother. He also takes us inside the locker room hangout sessions he had with Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie, and you won’t believe why they met up there. And Jon recalls a memorable encounter when he performed his magic for NFL legends John Elway, Joe Montana, and Dan Marino.
The NFL Players: Second Acts podcast is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeart Radio.
Thanks for tuning in.
I'm Peanut tuning and this is the NFL Player's second Acts podcast. I got my guy a room or harbor with me today. We acting like it's the first month we got that juice. What's up, baby?
What's up?
I'm doing really well. How are you doing?
I'm good?
Why do you look so shocked?
Right now?
I had I had dinner. Excuse me, I had lunch. I'm ready got a good guess right now, I'm feeling really good about this next guest, we haven't right now?
Yeah, me too.
I just thought you were a little loud and I couldn't hear for a second. So now I'm here. My equal livment is back, and I'm ready to get this thing going. But first and foremost, let's talk about our viewers and all of our listeners out there wherever you pick up your podcast, whether it's Apple podcasts, iHeartRadio podcast.
Thank you so much for always tuning in.
Make sure this time you give us five star rating as always, give us a review, a like, tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend, Hit follow and continue to comment about what we're doing here. Peanut, who is our guest today, Our beautiful Lively guest today.
He is Lively uh NFL pro fourteen year career, VETT two Pro Bowl, super Bowl champion, world class magician. I think he might be Bom Thugs and Harmonies Number one fan Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome John Dornballs to the show.
Cool to be here, show, Thank you, two legends right here.
I gotta get that money.
You know what I told him before the show started. I'm a huge Bone Tucks fan. So we've been we've been getting at it right now.
Yeah, yeah, Who's Who's who? Just say your favor crazy, crazy, crazy.
But then you got lazy coming in with that high you know, busy. You gotta like busy howder p Many's debut on there on the Old Ghetto Cowboy crazy man, I'm a I'm a I'm a crazy fan till the day I die.
And he definitely rapped a lot.
He was in here like Buddy Rabbit on eight Mile, rapping all the songs. Just let y'all know, hold on.
I thought you meant like crazy was here, because you're like, oh, he was here, Like wait a minute, here.
He's looking around. No, he's definitely not here right now.
He is definitely a here.
So where are you living at right now?
Hey? I live so right now we're in LA. I live like hour and ten minutes south. I live in Huntington Beach, California, and so I junior high, I moved down to Garden Grove, which was about twenty minutes inland. And I'll never forget thirteen fourteen years old, They're like, yo, thirty minutes down that road, you're gonna hit the beach. So I get on my bike start pedaling. Four hours later, man, I still in at the beach. It was like a thirty minute drive, right and so, long story short, I got to the beach as a kid and these gates open. It was nice. The most beautiful I've ever seen this s Gaatey community on a golf course. I'm like, what, So I would sneak into this place for like twenty years. Yeah, when I could afford to move there, Man, I would go buy this house every day and we live in that house there. It is.
That's what's up man.
You know, Jim Carrey said it best. He goes, I can manifest things like like no other. I believe in it. If you believe in it, you believe in yourself crazy things can happen. So I went by this house forever, and you know your mine will find energy, will find a way. Yeah, So be careful the way you talk to yourself, because man, it makes a big difference you. No.
I need to keep reminding myself of that when I'm golfing, because I'm like, ah, I suck, and that's the same energy I'm manifesting.
That's true.
Man out there, I need to be more positive. Talks suck at golf sometimes it's bad.
Man. I don't play a lot. I gave these kids my golf clubs. He was our neighbor, and I was like, I just take them. But if I go out there for two holes, you're gonna be like, this dude's unbelievable.
Yeah.
And then when I hit a whole three, it is down fast. I mean it is like this guy's never played a hole in his life.
How are you enjoying fatherhood? You have a young daughter, Amaya.
Love man, greatest thing in the world. So like, I'm sure we'll get into my story later. But I kind of went years and years without without a dad, or I had a dad figure. Yeah, but it's it's not your dad, right, And I appreciate the role models I had in life. So I realize this that you can either be this much better than where you come from, or you can make an excuse. And with my background, the world probably would have made it show if you would have seen where he came from, what he went through, that's why he's a deadbeat dad, and they would have made an excuse for me. But instead I wanted to be this much better and where it came from. And so when we had our little girl, man, it was my chance to be the dad I never had. Yeah, And that was the only attitude I took is I'm going to be everything I didn't have to make this world a better place for her and hopefully my wife and myself. And so there is nothing better that I enjoy more than being a dad to my little girl.
Man, that's awesome.
I saw on a YouTube video that you took video of your wife, and I think the quote you said was it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen, man, watching your wife all of a sudden like transform into this like mother literally within seconds.
Dude. It was the William Wallace version of a check dude. So like, okay, we played We've been there I don't care what position you play, one hundred percent injury rate, you have your aches and pains. You look in the locker room and you know the war dog and you're the guy that's going to just take a day off. Right. So I'd never seen her in that moment, Like I know the pain threshold I have and that I can push through. I ain't never seen her in that moment. Yeah, So all of a sudden, it's go time. Ain't no coming back, baby, you know. And so when we went into the hospital forty one weeks pregnant, kid was over nine pounds and she was zero centimeters dilated. So they induced her with the balloon and all the stuff, and she's like, I'm doing this. I'm not having a sea section. And dude, she just went forty one week zero, forty one week zero, okay, so.
It's starting from grounds like ground.
Zero, and they're like, hey, we're either going to see section this thing or you gotta pop this thing out. So, long story short, it was the sexiest thing ever when she delivered our kid, and I was, you know, the kid kind of popped out. I was right there.
It was so sick, dude, savage.
So we take her out, and my wife gets her and she whispered to herself, she said, I did it, and she just said it to herself that right there. Man. I looked at her and I said, I'm gonna tell you right now, honey, this is the sexiest you'll probably ever be. So this is unbelievable. I'm just taking this in. Man. That's cool.
That's awesome.
So twenty seventeen, the Eagles they call you up and they say you're gonna get traded to the Saints, right.
Yeah, which is crazy for so many reasons.
Yeah, crazy for so many reasons. But I think it's kind of crazy too because you're getting traded for a draft pick.
And I'm a what tell me?
Talk to me, you know what I mean. So I wasn't even drafted coming out of college. So whatever team this was, Yeah.
I thought I was worth more fifteen years later than I was in my prime as a twenty three year old. Yeah, wrap it up, let's go.
Yeah.
So you get there, and I think normally when you go to a new team, you get you get your physical first, and then you playing games and so on and so forth. You end up playing in the game and then the next day, you have to have a physical and then you find out you have a leaky valve in your in your heart and you have to have surgery. My question is, are you mad that you still played the game?
Okay? Is a lot of great questions. Uh so here's rappens. So they say they're gonna trade me. Right in my mind, I'm mister Eagle bro most executive games played as an Eagle, Longest tenured athlete in the state, America's got talent. Fans are loving me. Yeah, the magic Man people are wearing my jersey as a long snapper.
Most tenured athlete in the in the state, in the state. Detail you know what?
He's been asked that question?
Answer?
All of a sudden, I'm on panels with like Hall of Famers. I gotta have something to be like, what can I say?
It?
Got this? How many people every sport in the state? Now? Anybody? No? Okay, quiet down, Quiet down now. So they say they're gonna trade me, And at first I got a little bitter and angry, and I'm like, whatever, dude. When I was a kid, I went through intense therapy and there's three rules I live by and they're very simple and I try and take them with me everywhere I go. Come to terms of your reality. It don't matter whether you agree with it or not. It's happening. So the sooner you can come to terms of your reality, then the sooner you can find forgiveness in people and in the world. And when you can do that, it just frees bitterness and anger from your mind. And then all of a sudden, when you can find forgiveness, you can forgive. If a little piece of hope or happiness floats by you, you can grab that puppy and never let go. So when I first heard the news, I got bitter and angry, and then I realized, this is happening, so just embrace it. Come to terms your reality. And then I realized that, hey, there's a new chance, new fan base, and I kind of instantly felt younger. It was almost like I'd been there a long time and I had to go reprove myself. So I felt really good. So I got traded right before a game doctors were out of town. Got to New Orleans, which, by the way, like you said earlier, to be a long snapper and to be traded for for a draft pick put me in the record books. Baby, Yeah, that don't happen too often, right, it does breaking records. So I got to New Orleans, I played in the game, and then the next day I did my physical and they do the stethoscope and I never knew why they do it, And then they do it on your back. Well, one is for the lungs, one is for the back. And so they heard what's called the murmur. Now, look, I had heard all these terms as a kid and as you grew up. But I meant, let me tell you, man, I know a lot about the heart. Now. A murmur is a leakage of blood. And so when they take the stethoscope on your heart, they're listening for a drum. It's like boom boom, boom boom. Well, if there's a squish sound, that's a murmur, and it's a leakage of blood. Where that squish sound is determines how severe it is. So if it's boom boom boom boom, or it's boom boom, or it's boom boom boom boom. Right, So that's at all.
It's a difference.
It's a difference, and it means that blood's leaking in a different place, all right, So you got a leaky blood or you got leaky you got a murmur?
How is yours not in a good place?
Doctors?
You know what one of those was it?
Man?
Or do we know?
You're the first dude I want to know. I don't know, but I know it wasn't good.
It was a bad one.
It was a bad one. It was a bad one. So go to the hospital, do my tests, and then all of a sudden I got a call that's like, hey man, we knew you had a murmur, but we weren't expecting this. You got a six centimeter aneurysm in your A sending a order.
Uh.
There's actors John Ritter, Allen Thick, Bill Paxton. They all died of this condition. So what my real issue was is where the vein or the A order goes into the heart where the blood leaves. So the blood comes in the lungs and then it leaves out the heart. That should be about the size of a dimer and nickel. Mine had blown up like a water balloon and it was bigger than a soda can. So it's like looking at a vein in your arm and there's like one inch right here, that's bigger than a soda can right, Okay, if that vein or or it pops lights out. So for it to grow a tenth of a centimeter a tenth of a millimeter could take years and years. So I was born with a congenital heart defect. I had what's called a bicuspart valve, which means I had Normally you have three doors that open inside, I had two, and then eventually it was just deteriorating. It looked like Swiss cheese. And then one of the doors would fall into the heart. So as my blood was leading the heart, it was falling back into the heart. Now where that gets crazy is that the brain needs five quarts of blood a minute and your heart can actually calculate that. So think about this, you guys are athletes. My resting heart rate was like eighty ninety. It's like, that's that's crazy high, crazy high. You know. I had a little frustration. We were trying to implement this sports science in the organization. There was an individual there that was kind of in charge of this area, and he was telling me I'm an alcoholic and I don't sleep, and I'm like, yo, dude, I'm telling you right, now I barely drink and I sleep better than anybody, Like I'm out, you know what I mean. And the whole time I had a valve and an aneurism problem.
So did you know you were born with a heart defect. No, you figured all this out in twenty seventeen.
I figured all that out when I went to New Orleans.
Yeah, it all hit me. And so had you not had like, yeah, okay, pass in Philly. Yeah this is Philly. It's not really Philly.
And Tennessee and Buffalo and you yep, and every doctor's eppointment I've been to, right, Unfortunately, you can't detect that without an echo cardiogram. So an e KG is like beep beep, it's not it's not it's not showing blood. It's not showing it's not showing leakage your valves. It's not showing a picture of your heart. Right, So, uh, you need to have an echo cardiogram. And and no team I've ever played on they don't do that. And so the other thing too, which you guys might have witnessed this and I'm not I'm not talking bad about the process, but it's also the mentality of a lot of teams I played on as far as players, when it was time to do your physical you're just gonna go home. Yeah, And I'm not saying that in a disrespectful way. Rookies getting the back of line. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get out right, and and we've all lived it, and that's just kind of the way it is. Because we're all healthy. We're superhuman, right, exactly, unless you're the one percenter. Uh So they found out I had that condition, I got a call and they were basically like, yo, man, And here's the other thing. I had a three year extension for more millions and millions and millions, highest paid snapper in the league. Right, I'm pops. I want to be the oldest guy on the team. My goal when I first got in the league is I wanted to be one of the old guys on the team because that means I had the most opportunities, the most friendships, the most experiences. And so I was. And you know when they said, look, dude, you're gonna be an emergency open heart surgery in forty eight hours. It was a non football related injury, which means contract no and void. You're not gonna make any money, and your career's over. And I was like what, And I got bitter and angry. And then you start reflecting, come to terms your reality, fine forgiveness in the world, and create your own story. And the surgery was fifteen and a half hours. I spent thirty five days in the hospital post surgery, and yeah, it has a long time. And then I was on twenty one pills for almost a year. Let me tell you, man, open heart surgery is gnarly. The recovery is gnarlely. You get frustrated, you get angry, you're super cold. It's just it was a world I hadn't been in. You're having an identity crisis for other reasons than going from an athlete to something else. Now you're reevaluating life, bro. And so heart surgery ended up ending my career. And I know you didn't ask this question, but I'm gonna say this because nothing but love to Sean Payton. I was only there a few days. Yeah, okay, And two really cool stories. Brad Banta was a special teams coach. I tore my a cl and O three in buff Buffalo. Yeah, and they brought in Brad Banta to backup snap for the last few games. Banta wanted ten years. He had nine, and so he was home all season, didn't get a call, and when I got hurt, they called him. He got three games, he got his ten years. So it was really cool. I wanted fifteen, That's what I wanted. So I got to New I got to New Orleans and Brad Banton's a special teams coach, dorm boss. I'm like, what's up man? He goes, hey, man, you gave me ten, I'm gonna give you fifteen. And I just was like, it's kind of life come full circle.
Ye.
So a year later, I go to the Eagles New Orleans game in New Orleans. I'm in the tunnel hanging out. Obviously Eagles. They hook it up Nooron's cool, of course, and Sean Payton sees me, dorm boss, what's up man? I go, hey, what's up? Coach? He goes, you want to play? I said what? He goes, do you want to play? Do you want to play? It's yours? And I just looked at him and here's what's really cool. He knew I'd say no, that was never the issue, but the fact he said that to me. It was the closure that I needed that I almost feel like I got to leave the game on my terms, like it shifted the whole romantic world of football and athlete and coming to a closure. And I looked at him, I said, you know what, coach, I'm good man. He gave me a hug and he goes, let me know, and he just kind of like he disappeared, like shoeless Joe feel the dreams in the tunnel, you know what I mean. But so Sean appreciate you. And that was a really cool moment.
Shut up, yeah, man, it was cool.
That's really cool. I've never known that. But just to share a little bit. So my daughter she had a heart transplant and she had open heart surgery. She had about an eight nine hour surgery. How old she was about six months?
Wow, that's scared.
About six months. And the thing that I'll say is it might have taken you a year and all that. Kids are resilient. Kids are extremely resilient. Adults were so weak when it comes to stuff like that where we cry and moan and complain. Babies, kids toddlers. You think that they're hurt, which they are, but the way they recover from surgery, open heart surgery. You don't think a two month old, a six month old, a toddler. She bounced back so quick. And I'm sitting here thinking, like, are you serious, Like this is gonna put her out for a while, Like no, just bounce back. Yeah, the meds and everything she was on all that, but the way kids bounce back from open heart surgeries and things like that. Oh man, what was her condition, dilated cardio myopathy. Yeah, so her heart, Your heart's about the size of your fist. Her heart was probably three times size of that. She had like an adult sized heart when she was about three months old, and her resting heartbeat was two twenty, which.
Kids are normally run a little high, but that that's real.
Her resting heartbeat was two twenty. When I'm looking, I'm holding her and she's just kind of like looking at me. She's just kind of just sitting there, just chilling, not doing nothing, And I mean her heartbeat is like that's like for a second, yeah, just under four a second.
Yeah, Like it was pretty that's crazy.
I want to know how much because like once you're uh, once you're affect about something, you'll.
Become an advocate for it.
Yeah, and so how much studying and how much knowledge have you learned about the heart since your condition?
Uh, it's amazing how my whole life learning has been very hard for me, a very slow learner and reading comprehension very very slow. My sister, on the other hand, as a neurologist and an absolute genius like perfect sat Scores, works at Create University in Omaha, and my sister has a beautiful way of taking very complex subjects and dumbifying them for people like me. Right, So she's like, John, it's like a balloon and this, I'm like, I get it. So I got helium and then this and then the kid pop, Okay, good, we're good.
Is that has to broke it all down?
Oh yeah, oh yeah, she should be. She's drawing. Yeah, she's drawing pictures and like the heart was actually a heart. It's like literally, pretend I'm five and she's explained and I nailed it. But it's amazing, Like you said that, when it all of a sudden pertains to you. Man, you learn real quick, and you understand real quick. Yeah, and you understand real quick. It's like your brain just go through Yeah, it's like Will Ferrell and old school. Ye adapt, you adapt, man, But yeah, it's it's a crazy thing. I'm you know, it's one of those things though that I'm thankful that it happened to me. I'm glad it was me, and I'm glad that that I live this experience, you know what, I'd liked to have played longer. Of course, what I you asked me if I was upset when I got when I heard the news. So I I end up going back to Philly because the number one guy in the world that does the surgery that I needed was a guy named Joseph Bavaria. And I show up and I meet him and he's back in Philly. I still got my condo there, so we're home. It's good. And he goes, you know what, you should be thankful, and I go, why is that? He goes, because if you they would have caught this earlier and you might have got three, four, five years less. But the reality is your life and we're going to fix it. So if anything, be very thankful that it went undetected, because you snuck a few more years out. And now look you're thirty eight, thirty nine, like really you know, yeah, probably a time you were retired anyways, and now, hey, you're in the speaking business, entertainment business, like, if anything, that's a nice little media hit for you. You know. He cracked a joke and I'm like, hey, you know what boom? I like the way you think. So yeah, I wasn't angry at anybody. Man. I think I think things happen and I think you know, he did ask me two very interesting questions. He says, one, did you have any of the side effects? Like, did you have a side effect for this condition? I don't know. Well what's the side effect? He goes, were you ever out of breath? I'm sorry, out of breath? Have you have you seen me compared to the dude's on runway. I've been out of breath for twenty five years, bro, you know what I mean? He goes, Okay, does your back hurt? Does my back hurt? Have you seen what I've been doing? I've been My back's been hurting for twenty five years. But interesting, I was getting six massages a week. Your middle back muscles right here, middle of the back on the site that's called your quadraatest on the q q O. Baby, let me tell you this pre heart surgery. Do you see that little lingo right there? You see him throw that out pre heart surgery. But I've never known that. Now got the QO. Okay, if that's hurting a lot and you can't really get rid of it and it's constantly aching, it's heart. It ain't your back, it's your heart. So I'm sitting here get massage, just thinking my back whole time. Heart. So I kind of learned all these different side effects on how your body reacts. Oh, if this is going on, it's your heart.
What Yeah, I knew nothing crazy. We're going to take a short break and we'll be right back.
So this part's your heart problem that end your career. You lost both your parents at the age of twelve. Unfortunately your foster care your family steps in takes care of you. All these things have been really, really hard. But there's something about you that you have this unrelenting optimism in life.
Where does that come from?
Like?
How did you you developed that?
Especially after losing both your parents and kind of going through what you went through. And I wrote down your three things, but is that really like how did you develop this?
So when I was so, I had I had some heroes growing up man. My mom my dad were my heroes for different reason. You know, my dad coached my team's president little league. I want to be just like him. I was a huge Shadow Marriage fan because we live in Seattle, so my dad would pull the car up if he was late from work. We lived on a little hill of the driveway and he turned the lights on and he'd throw me a fly ball like Griffy and I'd have to block the car light like he would in the Kingdom. I was a big Griffy fan, and I want to be just like him. At my mom, I had a, like I said, my reading comprehension in my brain's like. So she kind of volunteered and she started this reading program at my elementary school and it kind of helped kids like me learn And so the cool kids start to like my mom because there's you know what I mean. And so what I learned from both, and really what I learned from my mom over time, was the reasons you're different and the reasons that you feel insecure at times, especially when you're your young kid. That might be the reason why you're beautiful, That might be the reason why the world needs you, and that might be the reason why you're here. So just take a deep breath and let the world catch up to you, you know what I mean, Yeah, and embrace your difference. So when I was twelve years old, I went home and my father murdered my mother out of nowhere. He was a bench grinder and a sledgehammer and hit her a lot, and so he turned himself in the next day. At the time in Washington, first degree murder, which the difference between first and second first degree is I wrote it down. I planned it, I hired a hitman, premeditated right, first degree murder was life or I think the death penalty second degree murder, which is we can't really plan it. There was an argument, doesn't matter the motive. Things happen. Max penalty was thirteen years eight months. So I think my dad, I don't know, but my guess is that night he might have thought about trying to get away with it and figured out I could either get life or death or thirteen eight, you know, so turn himself in the next day he got thirteen eight, which when you're a kid is like forever. Yeah, that seems like forever. And since I went home, I had to testify against my dad and then we went into temporary foster care for about eight nine ten months, and my sister finished junior high I finished elementary school, and we went through the most intense therapy you could possibly imagine, and it was super intense. And you know, from going in the garage where everything happened in writing the letter to my mom to viewing the autopsy photos in a private session at the DA's office, which if you don't know what an autopsy photos, it's for the listeners. It's they basically take pictures of a body and they try and figure out all the injuries and then what caused the death. Right, So now you're looking at your mom in a way you never ever want to see anybody.
How old are you at this time? Twelve twelve?
And you're old enough to fully understand, but you're also old enough to not realize the direction you need to go. So the people that are taking you on that journey ultimately are going to be the ones to either think or not think on how I end up. Right, My therapist was amazing, My grandparents on my mom's side, my aunt who ended up taking my sister and I in. So we do all this stuff over those ten months, and I knew after we left the foster care temporary foster care family in Seattle and we moved down to southern California with my aunt, which is right down here in Garden Grove, who was my mom's sister. I knew that I wanted my name to be a headline, you know. I wanted it to be a jersey. I wanted it to be something that people could be proud of. I didn't want it to be the headline that my dad had. I didn't want people to think of my last name and think of that. I wanted them to think of something great. And I was kind of an old soul because of the therapy that I kind of went through, and I just knew I wanted better. And I knew that there was one picture of my mom that I saw and I'll never forget it, and it was her left hand and had eleven cuts, eleven bruises, and they said this was her protecting herself on the way down. And I got a wife now and a kid, and I think of that picture her every day because I think about she was protecting everything she loved to the end. Yeah, and I gotta find I gotta find motivation and defeed, I gotta find something to take a story and grab hold of something. I got to come to terms my reality, find forgiveness and find hope and happiness. Right, And so what I took from that picture is be that to the very end, protect everything you love with everything you got. And that's what I've tried to do. Protect my family, my friends, myself, who I am in this world, who I can be for my daughter? And you're right, I am an. I'm an optimist. I want to live life because I've been to hell and I don't want to go back. And I am the happiest dude I've ever met.
Bro, No, I hear it.
I mean yeah you should. I wish we'd had the cameras roll than when he first walked in here.
It was yelling. He had his boy on face time. Yeah, it was going down.
So every day, every day, no matter what. And look, all these people are on social I like him, you know what I mean, go against jocko. Bro. They all got there. But before I get like hype like that. Every day when I wake up, I get up, I look outside and I just say, it's a great day to be alive.
Yeah, that's it.
I just give appreciation for the day, no matter how bad this day, the day yesterday was, or this day might be. At the end of the day, A man, it's a great day to be alive, because I know people that aren't. So it's a great day to be right here. Live is magic. It's a great day to be alive. Baby. I wear it every day, I see it, I feel it. Man, come on, maybe I just came out with these. It's a prototype, right, you know. I'll mail you whatever you I got all kinds of them comforting, but it's a great day to be alive. And so I try and just look, life's hard for everybody.
It is.
I don't care who you are. I don't you know. And what I've learned is it don't matter how much money you got, your race, your religion, where you're from, all our differences. We can get rid of all our differences and just realize that everybody in this world knows what it's like to struggle. We all know what it's like to just feel like we're drowning and I just need a second to catch my breath, right. And what I've dissected in life is that the difference between people is that moment right there. That's the only difference. How quick it takes to stand up and live in vision or how long do you stay down and live in circumstance. That's what separates people. That's it. And so I try and be that guy that's gonna stand up living vision. Moments in time will never ever define me. They're going to rEFInd me. And I had these little these little hitters, right, these little quotes that I live by, and I I try and live by it. And so but no matter what, man, it's a great day to be alive. Just start with that, bro, and just see where your life takes you.
Yeah.
So I know you your your dad, he's gotten out of prison. Yeah, And I know you've you've met up with them, right yep, and you forgave them. Now, how hard was that? How how man explain that process?
That was a that was a very intense day. And so what happened was I got a buddy named Riley Smith. He was in a movie called Radio with Cuba Gooding Junior in Paris.
Great movie.
So he was number three on the call sheet. He was Johnny the the white kid basketball player that kind of make fun of.
Yeah, he was kind of the mean kid.
Yeah, we bean kid. He was a bully. And so he's like, yo, man, this dude doing this movie. His name is Mike Tolan. He's really cool, diehard Eagles fan. We got to do a movie on your life, bro, He's got to be the one to do it. And this was a long time ago, so, long story short, I'm with the Eagles a long time. Mike's an Eagles fan. Mike Tolan he did the Last Dance. Did you guys see Stand? Yeah? Oh he did Stand. So he does a lot of documentary's done a lot of movies. So, long story short, he's the only name I had on my little vision board. So if everybody's gonna make a movie about me, it's gonna be tolling. Yeah. And sure enough, he hit me up and says, hey, you ever writing a book. I go no, I'm trying, but he goes, all right, I got a guy. He'll do the interviews, Larry Platt, I'll option the book, and I'd like to make a movie about your life. And I was like, okay, that's pretty easy. We write the book, right, and then all of a sudden, I'm going into heart surgery. So there's another ending, okay, And then all of a sudden, I'm like, hey, man, if I'm going to practice what I preach, I can't write about this and not go see my dad. So I had I've always been I've always been curious on what he looks like, what he sounds like, but nothing in life stemmed action. Actually wanted to make an effort to go see him. And then I was writing this book, and then my wife got pregnant, and I realized that I had my hands on her belly, and I looked at her and said, you know, there's three words I've never said out loud to anybody. And she just goes, what's that? F you A hole? You know what I mean? No, I've said that, but she goes. I go, I've never said I forgive you to anybody in my life, and I go, I think it's time I go see my dad. And she just went whoa. So it was life come in full circle. Where I was writing my story finding Forgiveness, my wife got pregnant, and now there was, all of a sudden a reason to go see him. And so I hadn't seen him in like twenty eight twenty nine years. We sat for five and a half hours. I had a show in Canada and I was going to Vegas, so we just stopped where he was living at the time and sat with him five and a half hours. And it was super, super intense. I didn't know what to expect, but I learned to redefine what the word forgiveness means to me. And I think a majority of people, forgiveness is about winning. It's about one upping, It's about I'm right, you're wrong. And I was that guy probably for a long time. And then I realized that my daughter didn't ask to be here, and if I really want to be the greatest dad I can be, I got to give everything I got. Do I have it? I don't think I got it because I got a little cloud of bitterness and hate back here holding it in man. And so I realized that forgiveness for me is not about the other person. I could care less what my dad thought. I could care interesting here about this. I didn't tell any of my family. My grandparents were alive at the time, I didn't tell them, didn't tell my aunt, didn't tell any friends.
Do you think they they're about to walk through? Like talk?
Style was why I didn't know, but I knew this. I didn't care. I didn't care if you supported it, and I didn't care if you didn't want me to do it. So why am I going to talk to you about it? Like I didn't care about their opinion? For once in my life, I didn't care about anybody else's opinion because I'm doing this for me. Nobody else. My wife knew, and I got my buddy Tim new, so for me. Forgiveness. Two people get this great, great analogy. Two people get married, they get divorced. One person's like, oh I'm out.
Baby people Las Vegas. Peace out, man. I ain't never looking back. Freedom right.
The other person is bitter and angry for ten or twenty years, that person that divorced me. That's the reason that I'm broke. That's the reason I'm miserable. That's the reason I'm depressed. A part of me was that person. So I was sitting here going, wait a minute, somebody who's no longer in my life is affecting my life. Dude. Nelson Mandela got releasedrom prison. I read this quote. Blew my mind. When I'm in prison, I'm a free man. I told all the inmates. If the guards don't hold our souls were free men. We'll build a wall, We'll do whatever we gotta do. He got out of prison and became so bitter and resentful for the time he lost that he said he wasn't in prison till he was out, and he realized that a moment in time that was no longer in his life was affecting his life and he needed to deal with that. So here, I got a guy in my life who's no longer in my life, that's affecting my life. That's me I'm losing, right, So for me to go forgive him was my first symbolic step of someone who is no longer in my life will no longer affect my life. And it was the greatest thing I did. And let me tell you everything you could think of. I wanted to punch him in the face. And then there was a time where I just wanted the world to disappear and I just wanted to have lunch with my dad. I wanted to forget anything happened, and I wanted just to tell him that I got a scholarship and like, hey, you're gonna go to an NFL game, and like that like, there was a minute where I just wanted to just.
Pretend like he was back to being your hero again. And then that's powerful. Yeah, and then that went away quick. And then but I went through everything you can imagine, and I think, you know when when I got invited on this podcast, I think, and it is kind of the second act, the second part of life.
It hit me. While I'm really thankful I got to play fourteen years in the league. I've been around the world's best at planning, process, discipline, accountability, teamwork, wanting to be a part of something, wanting to be a teammate, want just you guys been there, everything that we were surrounded with, Shame on me if I don't take that with me in every aspect of my life. You know, hardest adjustment getting out of the legue for me was dealing with morons like I hate to say it, but like mediocracy. Hey, eight o'clock meeting now, eight ten, eight twelve. It drives me nuts. Yeah, right, because we've been we trained is the wrong word. We've been taught a great way to live life. So I went in to see my dad like that. I went in with a game plan. I wrote it out you know, forgiveness is for me, clear my heart, my soul, don't hate, don't blame, forgive. And I said, no matter what happens, whatever emotion I have, it's not greater than this, So just stick with it. Yeah, and I did, and it was the best thing I ever did. It was hard, and I'm very thankful because I did something that a lot of people would not have done.
No, that's tough.
I guess My follow up question is that do you still keep in contact with your dad today?
Yeah? So we took a selfie or I took a picture with him. I wanted it for me and my wife, you know, And this is funny talk about being present in yourself. When we took a picture, I literally almost put my arm around him and smiled and did the suki because when fans come up to you, you get picture mode, you know what I mean. And I literally stopped and I was like, this is that's weird, And I'm like, just how do you feel? And I just put my arms down and I just like I stood at the camera and my face is saying holy, I just had lunch with my dad. And my wife saw the picture and she's like, I've known you for ten years. I've seen pictures from you your whole life. This is the only picture I've ever seen where you're not smiling. So I picture I have not smiling. And so he wanted to go on a bike ride through the mountains and stuff, and I'm like, hey man, I'm cool. I never wanted it. Know how I would feel after? Yeah, For me, it was the books closed. I realized I wasn't there to continue a relationship. I wasn't needing his approval, I wasn't needing his opinion. I wasn't needing anything from him. But I often ask myself if if for whatever reason, I'm in a situation where my kid disowns me for whatever reason, what would it mean to me if I my kid came and saw me, yeah, and how would I act and what would I say? And all this is happening after right, So yeah, no, no, contact don't want it. He reached out once and then he's kind of respected my mind. Yeah, and I think he was shocked to that. I don't think he was expecting.
You just stop by. Yeah, I don't think.
No, I don't think he was expecting me to say I forgive you.
We're gonna take a short break and we'll be right back. What is it about magic? Clearly, you're you're an amazing, amazing magician. You've been on America's Got Talent, You've done all types of shows, you do shows at the Pro Bowl like you just you were. Everyone knows you about this magic, right? What is it about magic that helped you cope with losing your mind?
And one other question, did Sean Payton tell you that he probably wanted to bring you in?
Because yes, that is true.
That's true.
I've seen him draft guys late and he was like, dude, I saw him on YouTube.
He had this video. I want to get him in. Yeah, so he did admit that.
He actually goes. Look, man, Manton wanted you as a snapper. We need to fill that position. I loved it. You're good enough to play. But the real reason is we need some tricks before team meetings. Okay, look, I want the magic man in this locker room.
And I was magic.
But now you see me, Now you don't, baby, Let's go. You know, so I was I was twelve years old in this transition and I saw a kid do a trick. His name was Michael Groves and I loved it. But then when I moved down to southern California, there was a TV show called World's Greatest Magic, and this guy Bill Malone was on there card trick and he was shuffling telling a story, and I was enamored. Now, for me, in my life, I wish I saw Jimmy Hendrix or Stevie ray Vaughn or Clappton or some guitar player, and I picked up a guitar and I could just shred right now. Yeah, But I saw a card guy, and so I picked up a deck of cards. There's a magician in Orange County named Ken Sands who became a mentor for me. Anytime I shuffled the sound of the riffle, the world quieted. It is the only thing that I can just disappear in and not think about losing my parents, foster home, moving, new school, friends, like all these adult issues that I was dealing with. I would sit at a table and hear the sound of a riffle, and I was just a kid. And so you do that for thirty years, you get pretty good. And I didn't really get into magic necessarily to be like this big magician. It was an escape and it was my out and in fact, I remember I won. A couple years. I didn't do tricks for any of my friends, and all of a sudden we were like some party and there's cards, and somebody did like a three rows of seven self working card trick, you know, and I was like, oh, that's cool, and they're like, oh, do you know any tricks. I'm like, yeah, I could do some. Imagine that you didn't know. Your boy at fourteen plays the guitar and he just starts ripping Hendrick Solo's like just ripping it, like right. So I studied the world's best when I was young, and I learned their stuff, and then I started improving, and then I knew I would screw up, because that's just me. I'm gonna screw up. So I learned five moves that would give me in and out of any situation that could make any trick be better. You think of a card, I get it wrong. Oh no, I just got to learn how to maybe get a folded card from a deck that you don't see me do and put it in my tennis shoe. And now your thought of card has been in my shoe the whole time. That's why I couldn't find it better trick. So you just got to learn these moves to improv, right, So for me, magic was an escape. Yeah. So then all of a sudden, I started doing these tricks, and I just remember the room was dead silent, like parents were there and everybody's just like dead silent because they're.
Like, whoa, this kid's do imagine you'd take this very seriously? Wow, you know, I even have a bit, so you know, now it's cool because there's a trick called Sam the bell Hop in the six fifty four Club.
It's the one bill alone diad on TV. And you take a new deck of cards and you shuffle and you tell this story with the cards. And I dreamed of being in like a room in a theater and like audience is like chuckling at this story. And you know, I signed a deal with Tony Robbins, so we do arenas and I open with Sam de Bella and I sit at a table with twenty thousand people. There's a halo light on the table, and I love the fact that I can have twenty thousand people go from just laughing to like silence, to like chuckling to like laughing and it's such a cool moment. And then the moment comes full circle on the show later. But manifested, Man, we talked about that earlier, right, man, I dreamed of that moment, and you got your dog in the shows now, yeah, man saying the dog. So my I never wanted to be like the magic guy, right. I don't want to go on stage and do an hour magic like that's lamp and everything I love about magic is like, I don't want to be it. And so my show is my life story and the magic I learned all the way. And so whether I'm speaking or whether I'm doing theater stuff, that's what you get. It's my life story and the magical and normal way. So depending on what story I tell, I got different tricks to back up those points in those stories. So we got a dog after my heart surgery, and then we make him appear like Siegfried and Roy does the the Tigers.
It's so cool, man, at least you know the tiger and go mall you to do true.
I mean, a golden golden doodle. I probably deserved it, you know what I mean.
I don't know how you don't fight them off.
I'm gonna clap you up on that, and yeah, thank you for getting a dog and not a big ass cat.
Yeah yeah.
Tell me what was your first magic trick that you like mastered? Was it the thumb?
You know, you break the thing the thumb?
You go like that, that's pretty good. Oh well there's this one too, you just grab it. That's good. You know what it was. And I wish I had it here because I do it, but I don't. You take a little red spongeball, uh huh yeah, and oh yeah yeah, yeah, like this and then mine disappears and you open yours and there's right then you open your hand, there's like fifty and then you open your yeah yeah, yeah, yes, that was probably the first one where you I would do it to somebody, right, But cards were always my forte man. Cards were always my uh where I would want to go. And then I started to learn how to track cards, which means I can shuffle and and keep track of certain cards. So if you want a card to be at twenty third, we'll count down, it'll be there. And then all of a sudden you do four cards for like poker, and then maybe eight and then and then maybe a full deck in story. So shuffling is where I get my most That's what I really do.
Like, they didn't have Google back then.
So how are you no? Man?
Is it just were you like literally reading it?
Yeah?
Book, Yeah, this is awful VHS, VHS okay.
And I remember there was one trick on TV and I would play pause record and you know I had a little zen a television in my room. Yeah, and I recorded this TV special and I remember I watched it. This thing would be on loop in my bedroom and I wash it and wash it and I walk by and out of the corner of my eye. Two years later, after watching this trick, I walked by an out of the corner of my eye, I turned. I was like no, and I hit pause, and I'm like, that's the move. Oh my gosh. So sometimes you just have to watch it over and over before you see it. Before you see it. So my reading comprehenis is not very good. And I'm left handed, okay, So all magic books are written for writing's, so I would get a magic book which is already complex. I mean, think about take your left thumb rotate eighty to pick up deck, four finger and middle finger grab alternating quarters reverse spent, and I'm just like, and you're trying to visualize this. I would go through a book and I'd have to cross out all the rights and put an L and then cross out all the l's and put an R and do everything backwards, okay, And then all of a sudden you start learning this trick and you think it's amazing, and then you realize that the trick doesn't work if you're a lefty, after you just spent six months trying to figure this out working writing because the way the pips are on the cards, and then you can't see the card. And I'm like, oh, well, so you live and you learn, you know what I mean?
So, so are you amidextrous now with the card tricks that you do?
No, I'm a lefty magician, but I could play catch with you either way and you wouldn't tell a difference. Like I could play catch with the right or left handed. Like when I would warm vic up before the game, I'd go out there like a lefty, you know, no big out of it. I'd be a right no big d Okay.
So tell me what was it like? Was it at this party? What was the first like?
Tell me that feeling when you got the first like great response from a crowd or a group of people.
It was my magic.
It was my first love. That was my first love, like it hits you. A friend of mine, Steve Carlson's a musician, and.
I also want to know when did you let the locker room know? Because not everybody comes in like all right, dude.
So Bledsoe, you're ready for this. So I signed with Buffalo and I'm a big Bloodsoell fan because I was in Seattle. He was at Washington State and I didn't watch a lot of football, but you knew Drew Bledsoe. Yes, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. One hundred million dollar dude. You hear about this guy? I mean. And so when we signed with the Bills, he actually came up to me. He's like, hey, man, I know your story. I remember your dad's trial because I was in college. Wow, and he goes, I got you. So I'm gonna say this right now. He was a hero of mine, took care of me, watched after me, and to this day he'll hit me up. You good kid. To this day, I love him. He's my favorite superstar of all time. So Drew you're the man. He comes up to me, he's like, hey, how good are you? I'm like, I'm pretty decent. Hey, can you like, you know, if I tell you to deal some pokerans, can you deal? Deal? Of course I can't. He goes, let's go. So I remember we got around a room and I was just dealing, you know, when we were tracking the money and who was playing what, and I just made sure everybody just lost their ass off. I mean it's just like not even and Drew's just racking it. And then we gave all the money back to everybody after they knew what. Man, that was like twenty minutes that you see, and dudes get so frustrated, like why I imagine having a full house. But then he's got a full house that beats you by one. You're like what and then he's got one. He's got one. You're like what? You know what I mean?
Oh?
It was funny, man. You know, for me, magic has been it's not the end all right. So like you go see a show in Vegas and there's magicians. The illusion is the end all be all, so they're chasing a ghost. But then what you find for me is that I don't. I don't. I don't have a connection to the trick, right, It's cool? Yeah, that was cool, you know Yeah? Okay. For me, the magic's never been the end all be all. Instead, it's it's my story behind it that makes the point of the trick, which makes it relevant, emotional, what makes people connect to it now they care about it. So even when I was doing tricks, trick was never the first thing. The first thing was the connection that we're gonna have right here in this room. I'm gonna make sure we have good time. I'm gonna make sure you see something you've never seen before. But at the end of the day, I want to make this something that you'll never forget. When that's your first then the trick is second man powerful. So for me, even when I was doing the tricks in the locker room, it wasn't about me trying to impress you with my skill. It was about me just trying to share a moment with you so we could be friends. It was my icebreaker. And what happened over time is all of a sudden, all the big timers, right, they have their events. Torm Boss, what you doing? Okay? I signed with the Buffalo bills. I'm leaving utep I roll into Buffalo, New York. Okay, now southern California, Texas. Buffalo. Man, that's a hard place to play, bro, And you're a snapper who's not even that good that weather, it doesn't matter day one, check into the hotel for the OTAs or whatever. What happens to the phone in the hotel ring? Hey John? Yeah, Hey Jim Kelly. I'm sorry, who is Jim Kelly? Hey, coach approved it. I'm gonna pick up in the morning. Will you do my golf tournament? You can do some magic for all my friends. I'm like, yeah, yeah, let me check my schedule. Yeah, pretty much. Free. Limo roll up? Okay, was this rookie year rookie here my first twenty four hours leaving college into an NFL environment, my first eighteen hours. Are you ready for this? Limo rolls up? Jim Kelly gets up. Okay, that's that's really true? Is that Joe Montana? Is that Darryl Talley, Bruce Smith, Thurman, Thomas Drew Bledsoe, John Elway, what's Dan Marino? What all these guys? I literally got in there. I was like, hey Joe, but it's John, Dude, I was you in six seventh and eighth grade. Like literally, you know my buddy Jacob he was he was Rice, I was Montana and at recess we destroyed people. Bro, This is insane. So yeah, my first eighteen hours I got to meet all these guys. But it was the magic that was the icebreaker that really got me in all these doors. Right because now you're in the VIP with bon Jovi, the flats when I was in Tennessee, all these country guys. You know, now you're a football player, but now you're entertaining the VIPs in the VIP room. Yeah. So it's like, man two marketing things that I think were brilliant. If any if any other athletes are listening to this, this is brilliant right here. One differentiate yourself in the group so that when you're invited, you're not just the athlete, but then you can yes something else. But here's number two, and you guys can vouch for this. I'm gonna say ninety nine percent of Big timers their signature is awful, awful, Okay, very few Griffy beautiful, right, beautiful signature, Raddy Johnson, Jay Buner beautiful. So i'd see and I love Donovan McNabb, but not the neatest handwriting, right, But I'm like Deshaun Jackson, Leshan McCoy. That's the name on the ball that's getting displayed. So I worked on my signature. Man, it is beautiful, and I always signed it right underneath that big timer. So now what happens is that big timer name displayed in the case on the shelf, right, and your eye can't help but go to that nice little penmanship down there, Boom household name John Dornboss, let's go. I like that. I like that.
I want What I really want to know now is after you get traded in twenty seventeen, you go to the Saints, and then obviously your football career it's it's no more because you had to have this heart surgery. And then you get invited to Saint excuse me, the Eagles. They go to the super Bowl. Yeah, how special was it for you to receive a ring and watching it there in the owner's box and everything like that? How special was that?
There's a story behind this that goes way more than just being special. All right, So I signed with the Eagles. I go, I do a training camp, and then the next year, I get shingles before training camp all in my face, so I can't be in the sun. So what happens. It's like eight let's call it eight oh nine. So I would run out into and we were in Lehigh, Pennsylvania, one hundred and five degrees. I'd run out snapfield goals, stat punts, whatever, and then i'd have to go into the training room or the equipment room and get out of the sun. Well, that thing's air conditioned, bro, So this is amazing. So what happens next year rolls around, I'm on the field going I mean, they didn't really know if I was here last year, Like they didn't really miss me last year when I snuck out into that equipment room. I'm just gonna see if I can hold that schedule for the rest of my career. So they'd be practicing and I would just start backing up because I'd have like an hour and a half to doing nothing, and I just kind of disappear, and then I'd find my way in the equipment room, take my pads off, air conditioning donuts. So I'm just chilling for like an hour and a half, bro, while everybodys at training camp grinding. Well, what happens is Jeff Larry walks in. He's the owner. Yeah, I ain't got a lot of one on one time with him at the time. So he walks in. I jump out of my seat and I start opening drawers because I'm clearly I'm looking for a buckle, like buckle fell off my uh shoulder pads. Jeff, I'm just looking for one, you know, I didn't.
The biggest bait.
Was like the all time biggest boat.
This gets better, bro, this gets better. So I jump up. Now I'm opening drawers like I'm just looking. Jeff, I'm just you know, handle my own business. I got time, and literally goes, oh, that's funny. I just come in here because it's air conditioned, and dude, like a movie. I just pushed the drawer in and I just real slow and I stood up and I go, no kidding me too. I have a seat. So so now Jeff and I are chilling in the equipment room, right, And that was like, I couldn't tell you how many times Jeff and I sat in that equipment room for about thirty forty minutes, yeah, air conditioning, and talked about everything other than football, just shooting it shooting it right. So I remember one conversation He's like, hey, man, you know, how do you ever want to get into coaching. I was like, no, No, that looks miserable to me. Man, but I love coaches, but that looks miserable to me. Yeah, and he goes, yeah, I could see that, and I go, so, Jeff, we got to win a super bowli I'm a player, because if I don't get one as a player, I'm never going to get one as a coach. And I don't want to work in the front office. So let's just get this ball movement if we could. Yeah, to get me a ring. So we laugh. Man. Ten years goes by, okay, and now all of a sudden, I get traded Eagles. I get traded, and I don't watch a game for that whole season because I'm on meds. I'm just staring at a wall. First game I watched was the NFC Championship and the Eagles win. They're going to the Super Bowl. So here's the deal. I signed with the Eagles. I play every game for twelve years, most consecutive games in Eagles history. They trade me and then they go to the Super Bowl. So I'm like, f that right, no way come up. So all of a sudden, I get a phone call, Hey, John, if we win, you're getting a ring and we're inviting you and all this. And they actually called me at the beginning of the season. Yeah, yeah, whatever, Well now it's happening. So the night before the game, Jeff says, would you attend this dinner with my friends. I'm like, yeah, I got nothing going on. Yeah, let's go. And so he goes, oh, my friend is going to take stage and saying her name Sheryl Crow. I'm like, okay, this is already cool. I'm in. So dinner leaves, it's over, and I'm still out of heart surgery. I still I'm a little crowdphobia. I don't want to be bumped into. You're still a little sore. So we waited till everybody left this dinner, and then Jeff walks up, picks his hat up, he sees me. He goes, John, Man, I just want to tell you something. We're gonna win this, and when we win, you're gonna get a player's ring. It's gonna be for the twelve years you put in helping change a culture. And hey, by the way, kid, you're not playing, you're not coaching, but you might just find your way into a ring. And I was like, this dude remembers the conversation we had ten years ago. So all of a sudden, they win and a couple months goes by, whatever, when you get the ring and they gave it to me, and that's what he said, man, So that ring means more to me now than had I played. For multiple reasons, one of reflection on who you were for twelve years in a building and it matters. It matters. He didn't have to do that. And the other thing too, is there's a lot of big Eagles fans in entertainment, and so I'll take a meeting with some director or whatever and I just, oh, you're an Eagles fan. Yes, So and so told me, hey, here's the ring.
Well what what?
Hey, just do me faith they're weird around. Just I'll get it from you in a few months. And this dude, but two things are happening, right. This dude's not taking that off for however long he got it, bragging to all his friends, and all of a sudden, dorm boss name a conversation in the meetings. You know what I'm saying. Come on, let's go on house and just solidify a new meeting because I gotta go get my ring. So I just got my second meeting with this guy.
He don't even know household name, but I like it, John dornboss, household name. Who We like to ask a lot of our guests this mount rushmore of the fluence. I was just there, man, amazing, it is amazing. It's amazing. It's way bigger than what you think too. It's like high up there, it's big. It's pretty cool. Yes, if you could have a mount rushmore of influence, people that have influenced you in your life on off the field all together, you got four.
Who's in that top four?
Man? I got four?
Yeah, now it's yours, so you can kind of we'll let your remix it a little bit because just in case you want to put crazy belling on there somewhere.
Well, like, there's a lot, but these are four that come to mind. I must say Griffy, but it's going to represent a lot of people. When I was a kid, I was a Griffy fan. He was my hero. But when I lost my parents, the community donated tickets to the Mariners game, and my sixth grade school teacher would drive me any games and I would sit in section three or five of the Kingdom and I had a sign that said I love you Griffy, and I had a glove, and every game was the game Griffy was going to look up and be like, oh my gosh, no, are you kidding me? Storm Boss here, seriously, Pewter, tuck that jersey in, put your a game on, you know, like he was gonna call me to warm them up. Yeah. In that time, those guys went from heroes to hope. Those guys changed from being my heroes to me hoping for a better life. And it was the whole. It was the Mariners, it was every one of them. When I became a pro in two thousand and three, I ran out of the tunnel and all of a sudden, I ran and there was a guy that said, you know, we had a sign that said bledsoe, and right next to him was this little kid and it was me and I say Griffy representing this time frame because he gave me the greatest thing of my career, and that is I didn't need pregame my first game, I walked over to this kid. I said, hey, kid, I got a huge problem. And the kid looked at me and goes, here's the magic man. The problem can you have? You know? And I was like, no, it's a serious problem, kid, and you're the only one that can help me out. He goes, what's that look. I don't want to be the one to say this, but I don't think anybody's good enough here to warm me up. You think you can help me out? What? And so every game I played in Man, I brought a kid and I played catch with a kid for just a few minutes, and that was my moment. I stole that moment from me and that was me being everything I wish I had to somebody else. Right, it's me being this much better than where I come from. Parents would take pictures, and what's really cool is I told this story on a news thing and then my friend said google it, and at the time, all these parents were post pictures of me and all these different stadiums playing catch with their kids, saying thank you. I will say that Griffy is one because it represents a time of going from heroes to hope and then ended up I could be something full circle in life for other kids. My mom, I would say, for sure, she's who I look up to, she's who I talk to. I believe that, you know, my opinion of death has changed too to be able to cope with it. And that is every relationship is like a wave, and we're all surfers in the ocean, and so every wave is going to crash. Now you might ride it a long time, you might not. But what you got to do when that wave crash is you got to get up and you got you gotta paddle out and catch another one and enjoy the wave while you got it. And what I've learned is that's with other people. That that idea right there has allowed me to be able to have closure with people and relationships and situations, set boundaries for myself, my family, with other people. But it also helps me reevaluate the relationship with myself that parts of me can crash and that's okay, and I can battle out and rediscover who I am in a different wave. So I believe my mom is in the wind and the rain in the ocean, and she's the bird singing. So I would say her, then I'm gonna go with h There was a financial financial service speaker named Kevin Elko who came up to me when I was with the with the with the bills, and he goes, hey, you're the magic guy, right, You know that little trick you do with one hundred dollars bill and the pencil thing, you know. I go, yeah, I think it's pretty cool. He's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. Will you just tell how you got into colleg which is a whole different story, by the way, Tell the story how you got into college and then do that trick for all these bankers. I was like, cool. So he's the first one that got me into the speaking business, and so I did it, crushed it. And he goes, I'm gonna give you two pieces of advice, kid. One, don't ever book yourself as a magician ever again. You're a speaker. My second advice to you is, don't ever take any other advice from any other speaker besides the advice I just gave you. That's the only advice you could take. Okay. Good. And he took me around to this day and that's opened a door of really taking my love of magic and making a difference with it and being proud of it performance that I do tigh end my life story in the magic I learned along the way. So I would say Kevin has been a big influence on me as a person. And then I'm gonna go with uh, man, I'm gonna go with my wife, man. My wife's rock star. Man, I'm gonna go with my wife one. She is a stone cold fox. Like I'm talking, she is banging bro and she is ten times hotter on the inside than she is the outside. Like she is the most warm hearted, beautiful human being. I've observed that when she walks in a room, chicks want to hate her because she's hot, but then they love her because she's so nice. She's so amazing. Uh. And she's a breeder six footer, you know what I mean. So I got myself a little little Meani, a little mini me. She's uh. Our kid was nine to two. But my wife has definitely been We met a little bit later in life, and I was married before. That was a waste of time and I married somebody that doesn't matter. But what I what I learned from my first marriage. I was proud of the husband I was, But what I learned from my first marriage is everything. I'm not giving up about myself ever again. I will not change this part of me. You don't like it. I don't care who you are. I don't think we're meantal world. We could be friends. It's all good. But like, if you want to change this about me, we're good. And everything that I think my ex wanted to change is what she loved, everything that made me me like I have changed at all. I haven't changed at all for her except in the good. And my in laws awesome, dude. If we get a little tough, my in laws take my side every time. I'm like, good, call you guys. Just bought yourself two more nights at Casada dorm. Boss, you know what I mean. My in laws are cool, man. I love my father in law, my mother in law. So my last one is my wife. That was probably a very long answer. But you want to know something. Can I tell you funny story? Do we got time here? Yeah? This is a funny story. So hero is Griffy okay in this hardcore. So I'm gonna learn how to fly plane because I can fly myself to gigs. Let's do this. So I'm researching he flies. I'm like, oh, my gosh. This Him and his dad are both pilots. So I'm like, this is gonna be my because he flies to the plane. I want to fly. So I go to dinner with Jamie Moyer that night in Philly. They're friends. I bring it up. I was like, dude, I got so many questions. Griffy flies like he's a pile. Oh, Griffy loves flying. Like, yeah, I'll have him reach out to you. I'm like, cool, taking taking mine? I haven't. It's the day I decided I want to learn how to fly. So I have no knowledge of flying. I don't know anything about flying. Okay, but I'm gonna learn. I'm driving home. I get home, I get to my cond and my phone rings. He is this John. Yeah, hey man, it's Junior. What. Yeah, this is Junior Man. I got your number from Wyer. He said, you're getting into flying, man. He said, you got questions like, hey, man, welcome to the club. How can I help? My whole childhood came back. Okay. Now, at the time I made a couple of pro bowls, you might think I'm one of them. I could not have had a bigger choke and embarrassing moment in my life today. It is awful. So I start sweating, heart starts racing, and it's because I was. I just, I just I was a twelve year old kid and I did and I'm I'm I'm thinking he's gonna like, in my mind, he's gonna call me to play catch. I'm like like, all right, So this is what he says, Hey, man, how can I help you? And I go, okay, yeah, I got a question, so like, how long would a flight be? And I'll never forget. He goes, well, usually it's from the time I take off to the time I land. And I was like, right, totally, So how long do you usually sit in your plane? Terrible question, bro, Hey, this is what he says. He goes, usually from the time I sit down to the time I stand up, And I go totally, that's about all the questions I got for you. And I basically hung up on him and I just freaked out. Right, he uh, just to let you know, he has not returned my text since then. And I promise I'm way cooler than that. But my whole life, my parents, just a lot of childhood such just instead of just being like yo, man, you're the man, dude, let me dive into this and I'm gonna hit you back, but like love watching you play and you're my hero, bro, so thank you for calling me. I went the complete opposite reaction. Didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. And if I run into him, I've never met him in person, but I'm gonna run into him and he probably gonna come up to me and be like, yo, you didn't you haven't killed yourself yet. Hey man, this guy's still alive. This guy's an idiot, you know. So yeah, that's that. But there you go.
Hey man, that's that's that's the show.
I thank you.
I can't thank you enough for coming to the show. Blessings with your story and just just yeah man, rapping one is.
I want to say one more thing because I think this this show, it's it's really cool that it's it's at least for me, kind of showing athletes in their second part of their career. Yes. Yeah. And if there's any advice I can give those young athletes or people that are watching this, it's don't identify yourself as one thing. I'll never forget my grandpa. He's like, hey man, just be who you are and love what you do, and one day you might be able to sit your grand kid on your knee and tell them all the crazy stories. There's a movie called Big Fish, Yeah, and the dad's dying and his kid's trying to have this relationship with him, and the dad's telling these crazy stories the two headed woman and the monsters and the giants, and the kid thought he was full of it. And then the funeral, the two headed woman shows up and the giant the mo like, So life is romantic, is beautiful. Make these stories as crazy as you can. Write a script in your head that's absolutely outrageous and funny, because who knows, it might just come true. But never, I never wanted to be identified as a football player. I just wanted to be identified as a guy that just shows up, has fun, gives it everything I got, make as many friends as I can so that one day, when my time is done, hopefully my teammates will be like, hey, man, that's a dude that you'd hate to lose in every opponent. Feared. Man, You're gonna win in life more than you're gonna do that. So take everything you have, especially as an athlete, and build on it. And when you're done playing, don't be sad that you're done. Don't have a loss of identity crisis. Realize that you got such a head start on the mental preparation that you have in life. Find your passion and apply everything you've learned in life to that. And man, go rocket, show the world which God there it is.
That's why you were a speaker and not a magistic.
That's it, baby, like that? Right? Hey, stay ready. You ain't ever got to get ready. That's it.
I like it, all right. If you're not, this is you? Oh well shoot it is me? Then all right?
Well look man, for all of our viewers, John, thank you once again. Man, you showed out today. Man for all of our viewers. Listeners out there, give us a five star rating. Get hit that hit that follow Bud, give us a review, leave a comment wherever you could listen or listen to or hear or I view your podcasts. That where this Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio. Thanks guys for always tuning in. This is this is my man, Peanut Tillman, John dor and Boss and this is the NFL Player Second Acts Podcast.
Thank you all for tuning in.
We out pres
