Are turtles racist? Langston and David break out of their shells and talk to Carl Tart (NBC's Grand Crew) and talk about this TikTok viral video. Were turtles complicit in an act of racism? Are pigs smart? Are we just banning straws so turtles can stop snorting cocaine? All these questions will be answered in this wild episode.
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Gotta take it to academia. Hell yeah, which I definitely feel like this is what this qualifies as academia and our cookies. Uh, what's fascinating white chocolate academian? That all right? All right, that'll be the last time we did we accept on this shows quality racist money. I can't tell me bing bang nut nut There it is, there, it is. Welcome to you, gotta let me get through it. Good, you're going crazy. Welcome to another brand new episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we work to prove that the Nike Corporation is, in fact, an offshoot of the Newport Corporation, developed to take all of black people's money. Look at the symbols. They just flipped it upside down. People. I am David Bording, whoa, I'm Lengthy Kerman, and I'm shocked. I'm shocked at what the web you're spending right now. Let's try to web. Try to web terrifying a web if it's real? Well, web, all right, I get what you're trying to say. I don't think you're nailing that part of it. But the thing you said before, that's that feels like something I'm saying. Flip it upside down, flip it upside down, and so and so. To be clear, what you're also suggesting is that they they invented Newports. They were like, this is this is a business. We we know we're gonna kill these motherfuckers with this shit. We have great ads. And they were like, that's not a fucking enough Too many of them are surviving. Flip that check upside down. We got a new idea athletic ones on board as well. Fuck because you remember the Newport ads always doing very athletic things. That's true. Yeah. It was like a cigarette that you could, like you could play football with. Yeah, you could cave a man's chest in and then have a nice cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. It was always for like the black on the go, a strong cigarette. Oh fuck man, And I'm goddamn I got a warm Uncle's too, Like you have grown too far. I mean, I'm surprised they might strike me down from talking about this on the podcast. Get that big well. I pray to God our our guests today has has some kind of information that can comfort us inside of this. I don't know that anybody could but if anybody could, it's him. He's so fucking funny, one of my favorite guests that we've ever had the pleasure of talking to. Truly hilarious. You know him from as a writer and actor, comedian extraordinaire, but more specifically you know than on March third season two of Grand Crew, a show he stars in, and it's phenomenal in he's so funny. Give it up for our guests, mister Carl Tarts. My god, my guys, I do have a little bit that can ease you. Cigarettes. Here we go. So one time I was there, there are two you know, they make two ads. There is a Newport ad in white magazines and Newport ad in black magazine. Right, here's the crazy part. The people are doing the exact same pose. So they didn't even I've seen this. It was like in a Jet magazine a couple on the beach walking down and they're like, you're not doing that with a cigarette. Yeah, And then you see in like in like Cosmo, it's the same exact pose walking on the beach and the white ladies like it's so they're trying to kill white people too. That's that's diabolical. So it's less it's less of an intentional well a singular attack, and more like a separate mall santas. Yeah. Yeah, here's my question, who said? Who set the template? Though? Brother? Are they telling the white couple that you didn't the brother had his arms like this? Or are they telling the black couple that the white lady had a net cock? This exactly as I'm looking back. Keep keep an arm cook. Fuck, this is heavy, this is this is heavy shit. No, I'm not playing around because it's like I mean, I would go so far as to say, you never had like on a hot day in Newport, fresh out of the freezer. It's like a sponge streak. I don't. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, and certainly I wasn't freezing them. They don't freeze you, ned. I didn't even know that was an option. My grandmother smoked pall mall reds for fifty years before a throat uh exploded with cancer and uh and never once was she like, baby, put one of them, put one of them packs in the in the freezer. Well they weren't mental. It doesn't cool him down like that. They did my my uh, my auntie and my Grandma smoked cane, cooked kane, cool filter King, and they would put him in the fridge to keep them friend because they were buying by the by the case or the car. Because they were buying such such grand loads of King Kools and door Ols too. They were smoked door around. That's a smooth finish. We can't talk cigarettes all day. Although Bory I think would make this a cigarette podcast. No, I'm just saying I've been I've tasted the delights. You tasted all of all the ships. If it's a menthal, I've had a fresh out freeze. Wow. Well, we can't make this a a cigarette podcast because Carl you came to us with the conspiracy theory that that. When I read it, I was like, I, what the fuck is this what? I've never heard of this before in my life. I was furious. I slammed my hand on the desk and I said, this man doesn't respect us. If this is the kind of foolery that he's bringing to our community, he doesn't even think this is a real podcast. And then Olivia was like, hey man, calm down, here's what he's talking about, and it it. My mind was blown. You said my mama told me turtles are racist. Yeah, I just felt right, I don't know are racist. Now I've seen a video of a man with a shoe on and on the side of his shoe. Remember it's important is wearing this is that? This is what kind of is the is the what is that called the hypothesis or like this is the the study the case study? This is Yeah, I forgot what. Remember we used to have to do uh science projects in elementary school and we would get like the folding board. Yeah, you're talking to you're talking to like a it's time volcano man. So I was I went to a lot of different schools. You could just do the volcano again. I used to go all out for them ships. Me and my dad made pickles one year and like did the science of pickles and ship operative word being dad, I was in the house. I was the kid that that would ask his mom the night before his dude men, like, can we go to the Dallas get a posted board? Well, and and I'm to the hard part of volcanoes. Here's the thing. You could go to TJ Max and get a volcano. They had him in the toy section because remember TJ Max had terrible toys. Yeah, it was all scientific. You could always there was always a volcano on this right now, Any TJ Max you go to, there's that's that's corporate. That's a corporate. That's a corporate. Man date their toys feel like the Island of Misfit Toys was like, hey, chill, yeah, we're misfits not not whatever that they got. They got flash cards in like some biscotti. That's the toy. It's real bad. It's just those sticky hands. Let you throw against the wall and they fall down. Uh. So, the guy's wearing the shoe. On the side of the shoe, he's got white tape on the side of his brown like dress shoe. That's right, it's got white tape with the white tape. The turtle walks up to the shoe, does not have a reaction to it at all. He rips off the white tape and there's black tape under the white tape, and the turtle starts to ram the shoe. Is this a white man? This is a white I don't know who the guy was. He just saw his legs a white man. The turtle just starts to ram the shoe when he sees the black tape. Then he takes off the white the black tape and it's just the brown shoe, and the turtle continues to ram the shoe. I've never seen a turtle behave this way. That's that's what blew my mind when when I watched it, because like I was like, oh, the turtle probably just like nipped at it a little bit and then walks away. This turtle is losing its fucking mind. It like truly, it looks like it's in in like fucking Friday night lights and a mean dad is gonna beat it if it doesn't run through that wall type shit, Like it's going crazy on this goddamn shoe. Yeah, I was trying to hit this slid. The turtle is definitely trying to hit the slib. It makes me feel like this it's because I don't want to put this on. When I watched the video, it makes me feel it makes put all on turtles. Is that what you're It makes me feel like this is this happened to this one turtle Like he ross whatever and that I don't think. I think he's hit with the ferocity That makes me feel like there was a specificity to him. And so if I'm hearing you correctly. This isn't so much not all turtles as it is like his rage feels especially rage full compared to every other turtle. I want to start by saying all turtles matter. I was about to say boys shooting him bail over that turtle supremacy, internal life turtle supremacy. But yeah, I think it was just this turtle had been trained. I don't because I love turtles, man. I just I communed with the turtle in the sea in Hawaii not three months ago. Yeah, and he almost drowned you, didn't he It was one of them trying to drown you. It was one of the most incredible experiences in my life. You know who the turtle didn't like the white lady who asked if I was wearing a cool running shirt here? Like yeah, okay, But here's what I'll say is everybody likes a rich white man when you're in the owner's box, you know what I mean, Like you were sitting in the fucking box with the turtle you're Hawaiian beaches. Yeah, this motherfucker's probably coolest shit. Now take him to like a fucking alley in Chicago and see how he behaves. Why would be in the alley in Chicago. I don't know, But that's that's his real that's what's in his heart. That's man. Listen. I think he saw a like minded individual. I've always I've always told the kinship with Turtles. I've been like, oh, you guys just cruise around all day, no job, just floating. Yeah, I get it, Yeah, I get it. Like I don't want to. It hurts. I mean I do think I look at culturally, do I think Turtles have been black? No, the teenage mutant Ninja Turtles decidedly not black. Not with those Italian names. No, and not with the Cowabunga dudes. Yeah. Yeah, there a lot of Cowabunga dudes. And they only ate pizza. It was you know, black families love pizza. But we got we had other stuff going on. Yeah, we never had like shrimp alfredo. Yeah, the black people's Italian dishes. Yeah, mostly shrimps. But we can all make it. Raise your hand if you can't make shrimp alfredo. Come home from work, girl, that made your dinner Valentine's Day. Ain't no alfredo sauce in the store, No, no, no, you put it, you put a steak with it. It's all the same color. Oh come on, man, Yeah, you're you're getting Voca sauce if you wait until Valentine's Day. Got to stock up on your alfredo before February twelfth. You're trying to find a tickle me Elmo in nineteen ninety eight. You better cut it out, all right. So Carl, you watch this video. You see this turtle attack this man's uh shoe? You are you immediately like racism. We gotta shut down all turtles who did it? Was any Was that it for you? Or did more? Push you over the edge? More push me over the edge, Because then I started seeing facts about turtles that lived for two hundred years. So, y'all sauce slavery and you didn't do anything. You just went back into your shell and let it happen. Wait, you're blaming turtles for letting slavery happen. Listen, all I'm saying is where I'm from, we got a lot of water the Gulf coast in Mississippi. We got a lot of water down there Louisiana the swamps to buy us everything. And it's a lot of turtles around. They had a chance they had it, they could have risen up. Damn, you could have come out the fucking swamps and like been another angle of attack civil rights. Have you seen a turtle stand up for anything? No? Yeah, And that's the problem because neutray is siding with the oppressive. You have. You are taking a very hard stand pro you're not even considering the possibility that these motherfuckers are are on the bad side. They could have rammed a lot of slave masters ankle. Yeah. See, I don't think girls making solid points and you keep being like, yeah, stood up for racism during slavery. It wasn't just turtles. Where were the horses at We're gonna start with the turtles, the ones we saw the leader road mass around in the field. You think he was walking. He was on a bitch ass horse. If we had a problem with an animal, I just don't think a turtle is where we need to stay. I think where where I where? I hear you, Yes, there were animals that were much more directly complicit. Beat pigs. Watch the whole ship, and they as smart as we are. But listen that first of all, that's not that's what they say. Look up, here's the other thing. Here's the other thing I'll say to you is, yes, some of these other animals could have done something, but not all of them were nearly as free as turtles were. Horses were are slaves of their own form, Pigs are slaves. Turtles are loose. They could have done something, and they're as smart as we are. If you read this, I don't think but you made one up, I'm gonna make one gonna the motherfuckers didn't make get out, Shut up. They're not that damn smart. Ain't that smart? Nothing that tastes that good as smart? Now, No, I think that there's a lot of Instagram bitches that would taste delicious, and they're very smarty. That's there. I can't argue with YEA points a point I don't, so you're saying that, Carl. Either way, they saw something. They've survived all this time. Their racism almost has to be cooked into the foundation of what they are, Yea, and within straws that they knows it's Norton coke. They are good dancers. Here's the thing, because they're also are you any is anyone on this panel afraid of a turtle? Uh? I wouldn't want a whole one. I remember one time a turtle got into your mo into my auntie's yard, and our neighbor, his name is Red. He he took the turtle like we walked it back down to the creek, and he like like held it the whole time and like turned it over and like chased it's it's like wrinkled. I guess he could tell how old it was from something like that. I don't know. And then he like tossed it. But I'll never forget this. This was like summer of ninety six, and like I remember watching I remember like, yeah, some ninety six watching part ridings every day, and Red walked his turtle down to to like the creek and threw it back in the water. And I was just like, man, it's a nasty animal. I don't like reptiles. Though, I thought something crazy was about to happen. But you just watched him throat and you're like, yeah, I was really on the entered my seat like and then and then the turtle eight part of red Finger. Yeah, but truly nothing happened. Na, nothing happened. You're just like that motherfucking nasty Yeah. I think he just went through the ditch and I don't know that I'm afraid of like the average turtle, but us I don't know if you've seen videos of like what snapping turtles can do. Them motherfuckers are terrifying. Yeah. They and they the quickness at which they're able to like break a fucking femur just in one bite. Yeah, I'm real scared of it. Snapping turtles weren't the ones watching slavery, though, I think snapping turtles might be the black ones. I think I snapping Turla video, look at him, I'll snapping Turler. Oh man, I haven't seen that video, but boy do I want that drop now. I'd love a snapping turlock. Wow, that's so funny. Listen, man, I mean I know that you did research and we want to hear it. I'm just not here for I like turtles. Yeah, what do you like about him? Like some animals? Okay, this is just man. I'm gonna tell you the truth. I've been to the aquarium. What's that aquarium in Kentucky across the river from Cincinnati, the big one I was in that I was I was doing go bananas. I was in that aquarium pretty high man, And just like you know, sometimes you look at an animal and you're like, I get what you're doing, and he's like, I get you're doing. That's how I felt. That's how I felt with sea turtles. You felt a bond with the sea turtles and no other I don't feel that way about horses. I don't. I don't even like animals, to be completely honest, Like, fine, that that's interesting to me that you say you don't really like animals, like, because that's what I was about to say. What I said, I'm I get canceled. I'm not a big animal guy, but you hear the people get so mad. I don't give a shit. Yeah, if I'm gonna pick an animal to like, it ain't gonna be a damn turtle or any type of reptile. That's what I turtle. You don't even hang out. We don't even we see each other once every six six years. You know what I'm saying. Well, that's why what I was gonna say is I actually think what you're who you're defending might have had the real chance for the argument you're making about not having seen anything. Sea turtles are legit under the water all the time. They're just I'm talking about I'm talking about tortoises and terrapins you're talking about, Yeah, I'm talking about the motherfuckers that are like hanging out on land watching teenage mu shit happened? Yeah, those motherfuckers are are the complicit ones. So I'll let you have your sea turtles. Not my sea turtles are for the world. But there even these land turtles. What a stop sleeping. I'm just saying, here you go. I tried to give you. I tried to give you the white legs, and now you're like, but but I also want to try a little slow. They're little in slow man, all right, that's I feel like they put turtles at the front line based off the research Carl's already presenting to us. That's not research. I don't know. I just I like the way to man talk. I studied this at the University of Kentucky. All Right, we're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more Carl Tard and more. My mama told me a little good, little good, and you sing good and make love good. Oh wow, why that lady? Why is that lady? That's that's you? Said James Brown, Right, James, he did the man was the man with something else. We're still we're still talking about the possibility that that turtles are racist. H Carl seems very much on the pro and David is denying it with all of his heart. He not He's rejecting every single uh moment of what Carl's presenting to us. And so maybe the best way for us to potentially resolve this is to get into some research. Let's let's unpack some research together. To the point that you were making about that one video, I actually Carl came across a number of videos of that exact same tortoise attacking other black shoes on him, completely different days and time, the same white, same one. I will admit it's the same one. But but they so much so that this they even at one point set up a shoe maze of all white shoes. They create this elaborate maze for the turtle to walk itself through. It never attacks anything. And then at the end of that they put one black shoe right at the end of it, and it like ran and beat the fuck out of that shoe. That is hilarious. It just curb stopped a fucking shoe at the end of amaze. So it might just be this one like this this one turtle, let's see. You know, I've never once said that all white people are racist, but these turtles that saw these things, they didn't do anything. If you are neutral, you are siding with the oppressive turtle. Wait so wait, I have so many questions. Where is this one turtle? Is this a Florida turtle? It's some dude's turtle who like is a TikTok man And so it's a little weird, you know what I mean. It's one of those things where it's like, where do do does anybody on TikTok live? They don't. They don't really this, yeah exactly. It's like, oh they're they're in Florida, they're like living with three teenagers and a suburb of California. Are turtles smart enough to betrayed? Uh? I don't know of any like well trained turtles. I think. I think people keep turtles as pets because they can't do much. So it's like, what do you You're not you don't know what, you don't know what you're doing, but you can't go nowhere. Yeah, you don't need And that's my thing. I don't think can any reptile be trained, like, I don't think you can't reptile be loved. No, I don't see people who people who have snakes. And if you if you're listening to this and you got a snake, be prepared to be offended. But trigger warning. Keep it internal though, I don't need to hear about it. Yeah, talk with your mother about it. Say that, dude just dis me my and I am mad about it, but I don't need to hear about it. I just I don't understand people who like to have reptiles as pets. Don't keep going. I'll say this, I actually think I think I'd love a turtle as a pet. Because it's because you're a super villain. Yeah, I'm not a good guy, but you want to be. You are, Like, you're the craziest guy I know, because you're like I think your core is bad, but everything surrounding is good. So you had to, like you had to adapt to the good despite your core wanting to be bad. And then that bad core that's what wants to up tile. No, I'm ready to light a match at any point, man. It's just truly, that's where I'm at at all times. So you're probably right about that. But I yeah, turtle seems nice. Say just you know, you feed them lettuce and you'd be like, hey, what you're doing? And then he don't care. He doesn't give a shit. He don't give a fuck. That's nice. See, And I'm a good person, And I think it's a spawn of the devil, all right. I definitely think, I definitely think snakes or spawns of the devil, because what are you? What are you protecting? I think snakes are a weirder choice for sure, Like it's that's as a pet. That's fucking because that's dangerous in a way that like even the nice ones ain't that you can you know what I mean, Like you can't guarantee what is a nice snake? I don't trust any anytime somebody's walking down the street with like a python around the neck, I'm crossing the street. You won't even walk back. That's the thing I've only ever seen in the South. Never seen that in the North. Just like a dude wearing a snake like a bracelet. New York City, big dog down there, santi Alli. You go down go downtown. If you're trying to get some discount clothes, go down there and You'll see guys walking around with snakes running next and round their wrists like white can't. I can't stand them. It's it's just like, you know what you're doing. You know what I'm saying, Like, you know what you're doing, you expect that I'm gonna be as excited about it as you are. Get that ship out of my fucking face. Man, don't even come near me, and no, I don't want to hold it. You. Ones that make me your most murderous are the ones that that no, you're fine, No you're you get it out, man. Just just I'm just saying because they got a snake, and then they're looking at you like you're some kind of a bitch because you're with your girl, and it's like, bro, I'm not like a bitch because I don't want to hold your snake. It's not a weird fucking guy. Like anyway, I'm sorry that happened to you, man. And I will say that the ones that make me the most nervous of the dudes who start taking it off before you've even had a conversation where they're like they're already ready to hand it to you, is that's when I'm like bro, I get that you're comfortable, but let me like hold my hand out like a puppy or some shit and let the snake identify me. I don't know what it fucking needs to get him by the owner of this tortoise, who who has come out and sort of at one point made jokes about the turtle being racist, but then walked it back I think when the Internet believed him. But the owner explained that he believes the tortoise is doing this because black shoes look to the tortoise like other tortoises, and apparently male tortoises or tortoises in general, tend to be extremely territorial with each other and thus violent when they come across each other in more public spaces. Can't see I guess, not enough to distinguish a leather shoe and another animal. Yeah, but I I would argue that don't. This is the least believable part of the thing that I've come across, where like, at least for me, I'm like, hey, man, I I don't know about this whole. Just because he has a tortoise doesn't mean he's like a tortoise scientist. Like, I don't who the fuck is this guy? I don't believe where's his research? Yeah, he's not like a learned tortoise. Man, you're a dude with a turtle. Put it. Put him in the ring with another tortoise. I want to see. Yeah, don't tell him, don't keep using the shoes. Oh man, they all there was a lot of tortoises at the store. I wish I could, like, I wish, I uh. I tried to get another tortoise, but they was all a lot of tortoises at the store, so all I had was the there for us one. All right, right now, you know what you're doing. You keep putting black shoes in the ring because if we see it around another tortoise and it's chill, oh oh oh, this is the whole ship falls apart. I don't think that. Yeah, I think that. I think this is a one off. I think this is a weird guy with a color blind turtle that gets confused. He's capitalisizing off of it. But I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't I I don't. I don't think that this is Like here's the last thing I'll say, and I hear you, but here's the last thing I'll say is, I've never seen a single video in the history of my time on this planet of a tortoise behaving that way with another tortoise. I've seen a lot of videos of tortoises in the same little cage. Never once has any one of them been headbutting the other tortoise aggressively. Come on, okay, but how many times have you ever seen another video of a tortoise doing anything to anything black besides this one in the shoes? Well, I don't see enough black people. Yea, wait a minute, No, wait a minute, got a big as simple, Wait a minute, this is a wall, and now you're not gonna get points to work. Goddamn minute, ding ding ding. I'm with DJ d Red, take those points back. What I'm saying is is I don't see enough black people around tortoises to be able to pull from from what you're describing, not what I'm describing. Yeah, well, you're imagining a world where black people were constantly hanging out with turtles and I don't see it. I'm saying I've I've never seen any other video to provide this and evidence besides this one, even with Carl and Red that turtle didn't bite red, right, it just like that's why we called them red. As a Native American, I should have seen that. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't stand too close to the damn thing. Also, I want to say, I do see a lot of tortoises wearing Luca Donte's jerseys and none of them. And then he just keeps saying he plays cleaner bassmen, he plays the right way. Tortoise hit fifty thousand on mc McClung's dunk contest. Man, we don't. I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about Reading about all of this did remind me of some of the things that I know to be true about segregation in the animal community. There is there are versions of real segregation that happens. For examples, when baby chicks are born, they often will separate themselves from brown and yellow. Like I've seen literal video of it from my former agent, who like used to have a farm and shit, and it's literally they come out the fucking edge and then they go like brown over here and yellow over there, and then they just like kind of do chick shit separately. Your agent was like, see, length, this is why separation is not as bad as it's in the it's in the animal kingdom. You understand the tape for barbershops. Six, let just send the tape then. Sure. It was like I can, I can finally live out my truth. You're a brown chick. It it did make me go well, and in considering Carl's suggestion about these racist turtles, it did at least introduce supremise that animal racism, or at the very least separation can exist, which might lead to racism. If one of those yellow chicks, god forbid, were to force its way into that brown circle, they might have to beat his ass or vice versus. Do you think there was ever a yellow chick that like assimilated, Like, nah, he's just with us now he gets faces, I hope. So I was thinking we grew up with it. Yeah. I always out there's just one yellow chicken there, like that white kappa. You know what I mean, sim he's real hard, Shimmy's like a motherfucker guy. Ended up coming across an article on a website called Backyard Chickens dot com. This is your this is your research. Come on, bro, I would argue, this is harder than what they do. It as someone who's found himself off in our backyard chickenheads dot com. If similar, they're not, they're not. And and believe me, I was familiar and it did auto Phil and I had to delete head tind to get heads out the way because we were focused on chickens, not today. Satan is what I yelled out. But I found an article from somebody who has this exact problem with their chicks or actually chickens, and went and they basically said, just wondering if my birds are strange or if I can fix this. I have six silkies, three black hens, two black roosters, and one white rooster. The five black birds totally ostracize the white guy, and the black ruse pick on him and chase him. He is very shy, timid guy and tries very hard to be invisible. My plan is to find a home from one of the black ruse and possibly form okay, all right, go ahead, whoa, whoa, yeah, yeah, you're sounds like one of them is not assimilating. That's what I thought, too, because you can totally relate it to him. He's like he's just a good guy and they just don't know him. He gets real fucking actually with that black room, even though they're fine. The five black ones are chilling, having a good time together from what I can understand, And here comes this white cornball. Because he listens to John Mayor, he can sustay in the house. No, it was a why it was a wild choice, especially because he goes on to say and possibly a new home for the white one. But I had an idea, and I'm wondering if it might work. The black rue I'm keeping his head honcho, and since this white guy is so submissive, I was hoping it would be possible to keep him too. I don't want him to be alone though, So I was wondering if I adopted a couple of white hens, would they hang out with him or would the dominant black route take them too. I'm also getting two Rhode Island Reds in a few weeks. My neighbor is growing them up for me. With chicks, any advice is appreciated. Here's my advice, go and get a girlfriend, because this is the sane. Go ahead the backyard chickenheads dot com because you're spending too much time on just regular backyard chickens. What is this gaming? You just let those chickens kill each other, let them, let them peck each other alive. What is this your business, an idiot, And that's chickens. But I mean to go back to the foundation of this whole argument. Yeah, I don't. I still stand with I don't believe the turtles are racist. I think this one guy figured it out how to like get some money off of his turtle. I think turtles are too dark to be racist. Turtles as why would they look at white people? And the turtles are dark outside this Cubans can be dark as hell too, and the motherfucker's turn on us immediately. That's different podcasts, that's whole different. Yeah, they don't. They don't like us for a second. My experiences told me I'm not black. Yeah, I hear you. Turtles are dark as hell. They're They're one of the darker animals than the animal kingdom. I it's it's hard to know why why turtles are behaving this way, sir, or at least I don't think turtles would be. I think there's one and there's a rogue everything, you know. I mean, you can find one rogue any any any group anything. It's not hard to find one rogue I think this is just one crazy turtle. I don't think we can. I don't think we can besmirche the good name of Turtles, teenage mutant Ninja Turtles didn't have any black friends. No, we didn't have any friends friends. April Neil was a dear, but they were trying to fuck. She was trader leave willing to fuck Raphael for a minute. There was like a weird like tension between them. I'm just saying they didn't have a lot of friends. They didn't have Casey Jones. Yeah, and he was cool as hell. Yeah, belly out that was he masked, the number one cool thing about Yeah. He was so confident. Guy didn't care what anybody understands. So confident. I like Casey Jones. Yeah, I'm googling. They didn't have any black friends. What about well Bebop and rock study. I believe if if we're a reference in the old cartoon, those started off as as one was black and one was white. And they weren't friends though, and they were their enemies. They were in fact their greatest enemies. But they never said they didn't have any like Hamsye black. I think they're right right, Oh, they had the ninja rat. Oh, don't buy a white man, right, a white man calling it a ninja rat go, ninja go, ninja go. Ye oh oh yeah, sound like nigga nigga rat to me, somebody needs to call Van that nigga nigga rat. Get Umar on the phone and let's rats. Let's let's drop this on that suspicious. You don't find that suspicious. You don't find that suspicious. I've never That's another man who's confidence I admire because his willingness to repeat a thing over and over again directly in camera the way he said it moments ago. I don't have it. I could never in my life be that guy. It's one of the best reasons to listen to him. Good luck. Yeah, you know, when he's gonna nail something, he's like, hey, y'all, didn't hear me, Oh you didn't know I was with the ninjas. Here's the last little piece of research I'll present to y'all. The One of the things that I also came across is that a number of people talked about the racist history in the naming of certain animals. That a number of animals we don't realize our racist lee named are in fact racistly names. For example, uh, the the Scots oriole, which is some bird indigenous to Yeah, indigenous to California, I guess was named after a person named Windfield Scott, a US military commander who led the Trail of Tears, which killed four thousand Cherokees and displaced more than a hundred thousand people. And then he got why they name the bird after and then they were like, because that fucking bird's cool, and we fuck with you. You know, I know what you're saying, But I thought you were gonna be like like the coon pigeon, Like, I don't know that. Well, what would it surprise you if I told you that there's in fact a jiggaboo dragonfly. No, I'm joking there is. Wouldn't that be cool? Someone get this jiggaboo await from me? Wouldn't that be cool if there was a jiggaboo dragonfly? And I was right this whole time about the porch monkey, No, it's because it comes from Latin porches. Yeah, no, there, Uh, there's something called the gypsy moth. In fact, that just another example. In fact, they've now come across eighty different species that they are attempting to call out and now rename as a result of like the deep racist entomology happening with the the their naming animals. Eighty eighty. God, that that's they've crossed so far? How many a black? The snapping turtle snapping turler because because somebody said, somebody's gonna make it fun of people, snapping turler went up to the shoes and women look at the weak ass shoes, and another snapping turtle was like, give them, yeah, I I eighty different species. They don't specify. H I didn't. I didn't get a full list of the popes. I'll say this, it got. It has to be so bad that there is now entire, an entire organization or a part of an organization dedicated to result in this problem. The Moology Society of America. That's somebody's job every day. Yeah, and then they have a campaign called the Better Common Names Project, where that it is dedicated to identifying racist names and finding more reasonable alternatives for these animals. Yeah. So they some of these are saying there there's some niggas in there, like they just have sure. Yeah, sure, because you don't pay a person's whole salary over that. You know what I mean, like, yeah, something bad happened, Olivia. Is there? Any way, by next week we can get that list. We should just do a mini episode where we read the entire list of racist animal names. Ye, that's one. We we take turns and we get the guests who who the fuck has the most race or what race is associated with these racist names. But for today's I feel like I feel vindicated. I feel like I started out saying I didn't think turtles were racist. I think we came along and we discovered that turtles aren't racist. Carl, do do you feel like that's correct? Do you feel like that's what you felt after this? Yeah? You know what? I feel like this might be one example is I didn't know that all the videos of these were the same turtle. So I feel like this one turtle may just be like you know, Diamond and Silk, and was like, this is my turtle? Yeah, who are my turtles? Are my turtles? So I'll outside with a boy just because I don't I don't want to be the guy because you know, you call all turtles racist, then no turtles can be racist. So yeah we can. We can definitely individualize just so we can keep the power in the word, because it's real unrelated. I will say that my favorite part of the Diamond and Silk moment that happened a few weeks ago, I'll be gentle with my words on this is that Trump went to the funeral, was number one furious that it was a black funeral and therefore took as many hours as it did. But then but then moreover went up and said he didn't even know silk. He said, I've never met the silk before in my life. Diamond's the one I liked. I like Diamond and she's dead now, but still I don't know this bitch. And then the funeral so long because I had that man like marching with a pillow in the beginning, singing that's home. Truly one of the funniest funerals that's ever occurred in the history of man. And we couldn't even like laugh at it because the violence that could incur from from people reacting just wasn't worth it. But my goddess, that funny that he just was furious. It is great funny. He's us. He's a funny guy. He's just that was never up for debate, that was never know and I'm sick of. There was a moment where people were trying to pretend like it's not even funny, and it's like, no, you're come on, y'all, come on, you can't be in comedy and say that guy's not funny. Like he's like, they're definitely work on what people being like. I just don't like how people are calling him funny because that humanizes him in a way and it doesn't. I'm like, no, the man is objectively funny. Yeah, he's the funniest since when the steamer have anything to do with morality? Yeah, people are usually the funniest. Hey. Yeah, It's it's not that I aligned with anything he's saying, and it's certainly not me being like I think we should keep more of him. But boy, oh boy, this is just us watching a set. He is killing m Yeah. If you weren't murdering, if you weren't from America, you would be like, that guy's hilarious. That's crazy. If you were just in Turkey watching, you'd be like this dude, can't miss Yeah, you're like, I can't wait till we get comedy here. That's fun people's wife. I can't wait till we get comedy here. We don't have comedy in Turkey. Soon first democracy that comedy, Carl Uh, could you tell the people where they can find you on what cool shit you have going on? Oh? Man, I am on Instagram at dammit, Carl d A M M I T C A R l Uh just Instagram and uh check out Grand Crew on Friday nights to day thirty pm starting March third on the National Broadcasting Company. Are you watching on Peacock the next day? Oh yea yeah, those are good the Yeah, we'll go watch Grand Crew watch it, watch the first season and then go watch March third and follow Carl uh and and Borie. You want to tell them where they can find you? Oh uh? Cool? That joke City seven on Instagram. I have all my dates there. You can't start watching April thirdam in a cartoon called Royal Crackers on Adult Swim and then HBO Max the next day. Hell yeah, and then you know, eat some eat some turtle stew, eat some turtle stew, falk about these animals. Yeah, all right, that that got mean at the end. At me, my god, don't leave your dog around David. Uh, but you can follow me at Lengthston Kerman on all platforms. I think I'm the only person still doing Twitter out there, but yeah, come come see what poison I'm dropping off on that side. And UH, as always you can. You can send us your conspiracy theories, you can send us your drops. You can tell to UH David exactly what you think of him and his regards about the animals at my Mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. Follow the YouTube, and I think that's it. Follow the YouTube and buy bitch my crop chips in your quala bars? Are racistsstly money turkey stuff? I can't tell me