Explicit

Smooth as Stutter (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie)

Published Apr 2, 2024, 10:00 AM

If you tickle a baby will it develop a stutter? Langston and David discuss this conspiracy at length. How does this impact speech patterns? Is it possible to tickle a baby TOO much? What is tickle torture? David unwillingly shares his story with Langston about "fighting like a giraffe". Plus, they reminisce about intellectual rappers who turned out not to be smart. 

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I never needed to know a to lib quality thought about anything other than a song with Mary J. Blize Dog.

I used to think you was a genius.

I thought he made me a genius. Yeah, I was like, I'm just so smart. I listened to most Death any rapper that Dave Chappelle allotted. I think he's in that genre, right.

I used to think Common was a genius.

I thought Common was Oh, you were a teacher and from Chicago. I know you're listening to Common.

No, and now he's doing fucking commercials for Microsoft to you like.

This niggas an idiot. And I don't even know if the old stuff was smart. It is that it is important that we communicate. I don't know what it means to tune the fate of this union to the right pitch. Yeah. No, he's just saying stuff, is saying stuff.

My chips in your.

Quals are racist, post the money then turning stuff.

I can't tell me.

Well, well, it's the big show. There it is, there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we finally work to prove that. Joe Budden is a prime example of what happens when your beard connects too much.

There is a rule.

It has to look at least like there are a few patches in there. But that motherfucker connects too much and it's getting to his brain.

I'm lin Stinker, I'm David Bori, and I ain't blown away. That's amazing. I never even it's like the problems you never even think about.

Yeah, you don't want that much connection, man.

It's it's so connected that, like, how could anything else go right?

Yeah, it's like, na, this is too full.

Because I mean, we could argue that's one of the better beards around, but it ain't, you know what I mean?

Like it it is in a technical sense, it is a perfectly full beard. But then you look at it and you're like, I don't want that, you know what I mean, Like I don't want what he has.

It's I think, Okay, here's a couple of things about Joe Budden's beard. I think, first of.

Of all, yeah, let's get it.

Joe beard higher, very high, the most black men's beard. Like his shit's like two inches away from his eyebrows. Yeah, if he winks it moves. Yeah, he looks like a Willie Willie.

And you don't want your beard that tall. That's the tall tea of a beard.

And it's also so manicured that I feel like I have to watch my words here as I come to Steeve Bull.

Okay, be careful.

It's so well put together. And this is by the grace of God. His genetics are his beard genetics are so strong that I feel like it makes him look.

Foreign in a waw sure, listen, say no more, Say no more.

I one agreed, Joe, Butden looks like an immigrant from beard alone.

And I don't know.

I'm not here to place what that immigrant is. I'm certain I'm certainly not taking a stance on whether or not that person belongs in this country. I am, in fact, welcoming that individual to this country. That is not the stance I think we're taking. All we are saying is that Joe Budden very much looks like an immigrant to the United States because of his beard.

He looks like a cartoon character of an untrustworthy man.

He looks like when when you get attacked by a person, this is who you tell the police to draw from memory so that you find that individual.

You know what it is. It's Uncanny Valley where the beard looks so good that you don't trust it is.

A polar express beard for sure.

The lines are so shocked then you just like this can't I don't know what I'm looking at. But it's not.

Right, that's not that's not how people are.

Yeah, it's like because And the weird thing is it's almost got like a fat joke quality to his beard. But it's it's like that's the beard that Fat Joe wants. That.

That's the thing is that I do think that Fat Joe really worked hard for the beard that he has. And while I don't care for it, I recognize that, like, no, this was a concerted effort to create this.

He's putting Beijing in it, He's really earned it.

He's really trying to make that ship look a certain way. Whereas I think Joe Butden is cursed with yeah, like whatever he has.

That woman put that spell on him, that foreign woman that he wronged, which.

Isn't a far fet you think it was some Asian girly dad what he was.

The idea that Joe Butden hasn't done dirt in the Dominican fields.

Crazy. Oh, I bet you there's some illegitimate buttons running around the islands, just some little pretty Dominican boy who can rap very well.

Because there's some reason chooses not to go back to rap it.

Man. We were talking about this off air because the Joe Budden conversations never stopped. I am a big joke that guy can rap his asshole, he and rap his ass off.

I don't appreciate any of his thoughts outside of hip hop, but I genuinely am a big fan of the music. He used to make.

Same mood music one through four. You know what, Joe Budden came to me at a time I needed a sad rapper. I need a sad rapper. I needed a rapper with some tissues. That also, you were like, this guy is sad in depression and he has addiction. Is yeah, yeah, of course that's like that Venn diagram was not. I feel like he invented that lane.

I I genuinely miss a point, the point where we didn't have to hear the opinions outside of the rappers raps, you know what I mean, where we just got the raps and we didn't know anything about them otherwise, and that ooh, what a satisfying thing that we used to have.

Especially because I think that you and I are probably in the same vein where you remember that you when you had rappers that you listened to to make people think you were smart. M of course those are the guys that we needed to hear less from. And this is all when I was a teenager, and I have since grown up to understand I am not that smart. Now, there was a whole genre of rappers who made you feel smart, and those guys being exposed is maybe not the smartest guys really, And then and then you get older, you're like, wow, fifty cents really smart.

Yeah, it's heartbreaking who you find out is actually like, turns out turns out plies. That's a pretty thoughtful guy.

Meanwhile, No. Five I was like, bust it, baby, I'm going to listen to the gy remix. It turns out plies.

It's like a fucking brilliant dude. Meanwhile, Loope has some work to do, you know what I mean. Like, it's fucking crazy.

I thought Loupe could truly run for Congress at some point.

Fuck man, it's it is, it's a it's a tragic thing that that happened, but maybe a necessary thing. Maybe that is part of growing up as you realize your heroes are fallible the same way everybody else is.

I guess I think that it means that there is a dearth and we can sneak in and get some of this fake, smart black money.

I like that.

I will speaking to that.

We had that beautiful uh Vulture article uh huh that was written about us, where the the author was very generous in his explanation and breakdown of sort of the brilliant work that we're doing.

We want your work that you're doing, and he was like, and David, BORI, if Lexton doesn't have well thought out developed research, David comes in with his trusty Sound Bad drink bomb. Sharkey presses a button and I know, I understand, I understand the place I occupy. I'm wearing a Booty Call T shirt right now.

Yeah, gorgeous, it's so funny. It looks good man.

But uh yeah, not to say if we're gonna be a if you're gonna be a charlottetan, I think I would rather be a Charlatan who's pretending I'm smart as opposed to like, I'm not gonna pretend I kill people or some ship. Yeah.

No, I want to reassure our audience that that no matter what comes out about us, no matter what you start to believe, let me reassure you we are idiots, absolute fucking dumb dumbs. And and even if there are parts of you that start to believe otherwise, you're wrong and you need to reflect on that.

Yeah. I mean, it's like, because if you really pay attention, we've been leading a breadcrimb trail the whole time like that, and the usual suspects. When he starts walking straight and you realize that he is actually a smart man, that's the opposite what I don't worry. Don't worry. The limp stays. That being said, write more articles about us. It was a very nice article.

It was a lovely article, and we would love more of them. And make sure you you call us both brilliant next time, or at least acknowledge my man does more than just press bingball on the thing.

No, I mean, no, they were they were nice to me. That's just how I interpret it because I'm a sensitive be sure.

Yeah, No, I get that. Yeah, yeah, we have an email that we wanted to read today. We got a very fun email.

Yeah, this is an exciting one.

From a person named Corey, A proud little mama. They identify as.

I want to.

Assume it's a he, but I don't know for sure. But maybe it's a she. Maybe it's a day. It can be either one. I never met a girl, Corey.

You never met a girl, Corey. I feel like I knew a girl named Cora.

Oh sure from the real world.

No, that's not Maybe I'm thinking of Chorrel. What was that little girl? No, that was Troy from Crookland. Yeah, Troy froyd boy.

Yeah.

Man, that movie was sad. Huh.

Yeah, I just watched it. I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but I just watched it for the first time, like a week ago. Really, I had seen snippets. I had seen clips and shit, but I never.

Talked about it.

Yeah, I could keep up, Like I knew what the basis of the film was, but I never sat and watched the entire movie. And it starts off and you're like, man, this might be Spike Lee's just most uplifting, sweet film about just a family with some odd characters, and then it gets sad and sadder and then uncomfortable and then saddest.

But good movie. I love Alfrey Woods and Delroy Lindo.

Del Lindo, Baby, I don't, man, I.

Don't think we talked about how good that guy is? When did he mean? What's he ever missed?

Worst worst name in the game? And truly, I think that's a phenomenal. It's it's hard to remember. I love saying it, but it ain't. It ain't an easy one when you want to recall your favorite actor.

I love it. I think, man, if I was named Delroy Lindo, this would be actually, this would be all different. You think the podcast would be thriving. If my name was Delroy Lindo, I would be a calib Qualiti style rapper.

You think we wouldn't even be podcasting. You think this would just be a different wave. You think Delroy Lindo has a podcast, I pray to god he does not. Yeah, of course, now he doesn't need it. His name is Delroy Lindo. He seems like he goes to bed in long shirts. Does that make sense?

He feels like he seems like he wears every fab brick except denim. That like, I think that has had a pair of jeans since the sixties.

And why Woody, that's why you can't even buy that. When your name is del Roy.

Here's some shit that's about to fuck you up. I just I looked him up.

Yeah, born in London, del Roy Lindo is British.

Not even our has he moved here when he was sixteen?

Del Roy Lindo. Whoa, I thought he was the blackest man on earth.

You could be black from London. Not. According to me, it almost makes more sense if you think about it in a British accent, like think about this. I was hanging with my mike, Delroy right.

Yeah, no, it feels yeah, oh fuck, he really is British.

Yeah, whoa? I wonder because they're they're they're better at acting than us, so it kind of does make sense.

Delroy Lindo my man.

But the son of Jamaican parents, which I think we all could have guess as well.

Yeah, no, we knew there was Caribbean blood flowing through there. Yeah, he's the man has been wearing mesh tank tops for for forty years.

I think we knew that was the Caribbean. He drinks out of a fruit for He's drank out the fruit, but not in the touristy way, just in the way where it was hot out and he cracked up in the fruit. Yeah, I feel like we go with Caribbean people hard on his podcast. Sometimes I want people to know I want to live in the Caribbean. I think it's great.

I yeah, I'm a fan. When I lived in Boston, I had some nasty runnings with Asians, but otherwise I'm a pretty big fan of Caribbeans.

I would say what happened.

I just think they're the dominant community out there, and they moved the way they move and I move like a nigga from Chicago, and that don't always Uh, that's complicated. Yeah, you don't always get along when when you are of two different worlds in that way.

Man, I know this shit was real because you did not answer my question at all. Really Like the way you answered was like there's specifics that you really don't want to get into. That was crazy. When you start blaming your city, that's when it's like, you.

Know what I mean, and we all come from different places and community is important.

Listen, if you got beat up by some Atians.

You could say, no, I didn't get beat up by any Haitians, but I didn't care for their personalities more often than not when I was in Boston. But otherwise I'm a big van of Caribbeans across the board.

Yeah, I appreciated culture.

We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now set and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

Just sleek, it's sexy.

Come on, you want to tell them what we have.

Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is who you are.

Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff so get it. We need to get to Corey's email. Ye, Corey sent an email and the subject line this is a very exciting subject line. It says tickling a baby equals stuttering adult question mark. Already you're hooked, they said, Hey guys, relatively new listener, but this has quickly become one of my favorite podcasts. Your episode timing is perfect, as I have a long ass commute on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Fuck yeah, I don't know where you're going, Corey, and frankly, I think you need to chill the fuck out doing it every week. But that's exciting. I'm glad that we're hitting when we are supposed to hit for you.

Glad we can support your commute to both your families.

I hope they don't find out via this podcast, but we know what you're up to, Corey, and you gotta stop. Man. You gotta pick one family and abandon the other kids. It's just is the right thing to do.

Yeah, give the other kids something to overcome, you know. Yep?

Go ahead, make yourself a Lebron James and then raise a taj Mawori in the other house. He said to the conspiracy I have a son that will oh. I have a son that was about six months old at the time of this event. I went to dinner with my mom and my son was basically inconsolable during the dinner. He wanted me, he wanted to be near his dad, and anytime my mom tried to hold him, he would scream. I told my mom that he was very ticklish. Maybe try to tickle him under his armpits to lower his guard. She adamantly refused and said something to the extent of no, you don't tickle babies or else they'll develop a stutter. Then she proceeds to impersonate someone, saying, daddy with the heavy stutter. I'll spare you the phanetics. No, that's crazy, she did. I act out after saying some wild shit at the dinner table in.

The red lobster. She's like the waiter, just standing there, confused because the stuttering impression can easily sound like another type of impression.

Right, No, it gets ugly fast if you don't if people don't know what you're doing. He goes on to say, have y'all heard anything like this before? I was hysterically laughing because my mom always comes out of left field. With new crazy shit. Sincerely, thanks for the laughs, Corey, proud little mom man.

I mean I will. Let's say, first of all, Corey, your mother hilarious.

Your mother might be prime for being a guest on this podcast.

Hall of Famer.

Unbelievably funny.

Yeah, that's she up there with Jay Sean. That's the funniest shit to do ever. Oh my god.

If your mother is still with us, and I pray that she is, please let her know we are big fans of the work that she's doing.

Love what she's got going on. Man, that's oh so many levels. That's hilarious.

I've never heard this before in my life.

So here's the first thing. I think that on an animalistic level in my in my like animal caveman, stupid brain. I get the science behind it, Okay, Like you shake it too much and it's gonna stay shook. Yeah, you know what I'm And like, do you ever remember, like when you're a kid being tickled is so visceral that like I like sometimes you know, you think back as a kid, like how hard you be laughing this year like that, and it's like, yeah, that could have shook shook something loose.

Yeah, yeah, I never thought about it in terms of shaking something loose. But that is the part that maybe hits the the most for me, is that like, it's not about getting tickled so much that you stay tickled as much as it is like something babies are are fragile and and sort of like are not fully configurated inside all the way. And the idea that you do something so jarring to the physical form that it becomes permanent feels like a real thing.

Cause it's like, also think about it, there's no other form of affection or anything else that you do to a kid that is that physically intense m you know what I'm saying. Like it's like very because so my two brothers, this is really funny. My two brothers have varied because I'm way older than them. I'm forty, so I knew and when they were babies, my two brothers have very different reactions. My one little brother like being tickled too much, where I would be like, you have to calm down, you know what I mean, and he'd be going ape shit. I'd be like, you got this is not good. This is like I feel like I'm creating some kind of a dependence. You can't be seeking this feeling in the world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're gonna end up in a documentary some day.

Yeah, you got you're having too good a time. And then my other little brother really disliked it. Yeah, like you could tell it was like kind of too intense for him. But you would tickle him and he would he would be laughing, but he'd be pissed. So as soon as you'd be done, he'd be like he'd be like really upset with you, and I like like like, kind of stop doing it, you know. Yeah.

My my daughter is closer to that energy where she like will laugh about it, but also like afterwards it's like, hey, don't do that. That's not because it is, that's not cool, and I don't I don't appreciate.

It, and I get it because it's very it's very like it's intense.

It's a disarming experience and you can't you can't control your reaction in a way that that feels maybe the most vulnerable that that you can feel in your human experience, you know what I mean, where like like I something is being forced out of me that I truly was not aiming for or don't like it. It's too much.

Yeah, And it's like this type of thing where it's like, if the reaction to tickling wasn't laughing, it would we would think it was torture. It's weeping, yeah, yeah, yeah, if it was if you're crying, if if tickling elicited the response of crying, doing that to someone would be the worst thing you could possibly.

Do, which I do think and maybe this is my me conflating television with real life, but it wasn't tickle torture a real thing. Wasn't that at some point? Uh that people did. I'm gonna look it up when I think about it in my head.

It also makes me think it was an episode of a cartoon or something. Yeah, like they had somebody tied up and they put like a feather to their feet. But I would tell, have you tickled me too much? I don't like being tickled now, Mike. Girls just found out on the bottom of my feet and I had to be listen, like you can't just like walk by and like you know what I'm saying.

Okay, they're saying that tickle torture is a is more of a TV trope than a real thing.

No shame that happens to me all the time.

Yeah, no again, remind y'all, fucking idiot. But this website called Dan Petrosini dot com claims that in ancient China, tickle torture was used as a way to punish the noble class. It was preferred over other types of discipline because it left no marks and the victims will recover fairly quickly. Is also used as a torture tool in ancient Japan, where it was called merciless tickling. My favorite historical reference depicted above has the tying a prisoner down and then coding the bottom of their feet with salt water. They would then bring out a goat who would lick the salt off, igniting uncontrollable laughter.

I hate that. I hate. I hate that the goat is involved.

Yeah, that makes it worse somehow. Now I will say that this article does not have any references or any real uh I guess proof of the claim. So I worry that it is just a person writing slightly racist things about the past, you know what I mean. Where you're just like, I bet the ancient Chinese did that shit, you know what I mean?

Yeah, ancient Chinese secret Yeah exactly. So the Wikipedia also says that there's an article in the British Medical Journal that describes the goat the goat licking, but it remains unclear if this method was ever used in practice, as it is only described in the fifteen or two Trakatas did in Disease Tortura. You nailed that by the Italian jurist and monk Franciscus Brunos, Das and Severino, a treatise that actually cautioned against the torture in general. And while it seems clear that he had not made up this practice, the issue is left open whether the inclusion is based on hearsay.

Right, Yeah, I worry that some of this is just rooted in hearsay. This article also claims that there's documented evidence that Nazi guards tickled inmates and concentration camps in order to torture them, and that feels like a lie that I think that is a lie. There's no fucking way in the world that in between gassing people to death and shooting them in the head, they also were tickling these motherfuckers.

They would Yeah, I think we have a lot of documentary on what they did and it's all atrocious. I don't think they were also like, yeah, tickle too.

I don't think they wanted the Jewish people to have any fun. Yeah, even if it was fun against their will. They were like, you're not fucking gonna get to.

Yeah, that's like not. I think it kind of does a disservice to the legacy of what happened there.

Yes, well, maybe we don't trust everything that they're saying, but it does sound like at least the the tropes on television were rooted in some version of historical near fiction that like, maybe there were theories on tickle torture that that at some point were tried or or at the very least considered by people.

Right, And I think I mean back to the base, back to the root of the all this. I am constantly of the fear that I'm gonna do to something too much and get it stuck. So this plays right into my I believe this one. Yeah, I don't. I don't believe. Maybe I don't believe because I yeah, because like my one brother that we tickled, he's fine, he's a singer now, he's doing great, but like a lot of billowy clothing. But that's that's for our family to figure out. You know, here's what I'll say.

I don't know that I believe that just tickling will lead to a stutter. But I do believe, and I'm gonna go out on a limb here, I do believe that every single person with a stutter was maybe tickled too hard at some point.

Okay, I don't.

Believe that tickling leads to stutters, but I do believe there is a Venn diagram of motherfucker's getting tickled too hard and now a stutter exists. And so I don't I don't know that we have the runway to be able to create causality, right, like to say this is definitively the cause. But I will say that I bet they've all experienced a similar thing at some point.

To push back on that a little bit, Yeah, who hasn't been tickled hard? I don't know. I don't. I think everybody's at least. I mean, you have to come from a pretty cold upbringing, you know what I'm saying. Like, I don't think Donald Trump's been tickled at all. I think he was tickled as a baby. You think Donald Trump was tickled at some point, So I think a housekeeper, I think I think the Jamaican woman who raised him. Yeah, I think she tickled it sometimes.

I don't think anybody's ever tickled that man wanted to not.

I think. I don't think you could come out of childhood without getting tickled. I really don't. It's one of the easiest games to play with the child.

It's one of the easiest games to play with the child you have any affection for. And I think that that there are some people who find themselves in childhoods that are completely loose of affection.

I think so. But even then, they never had a friend's parent, they never had one somebody like a local pervert. Don't do that. I knew you were gonna do that. I knew you were gonna do that. And I don't think it's fair. I don't think it's fair right now, because listen, we all, a lot of us maybe didn't get the affection that was maybe needed as a child, and we run run to things like the entertainment field to fill that void. But even within that, we've all been still been tickled.

Sure, I mean, I'm men tackled quite a bit.

Yeah, kids get tickled, Kids get tickled. It happens, you know, it's it's like also, if you don't know kids or something, it's like a really easy go to What am I gonna ask you? How's the wife and kids? How's school going? No, I'm gonna tickle you, and then I'll be out, Like let me get on that pits. Yeah, could you go go somewhere?

Hey, you go take care of yourself. Here's a cigarette.

The point is, I do think tickling is such a I think it's a pretty because I and now now maybe I'm overstepping, but I think that it's like crosses even cultures. I feel like the whole world is tickling. Mm hmmm, right, Like there's no there's no country where they don't tickle children. I'd imagine.

I don't think so, But maybe that's our our own ignorance, right Like I I truly don't know.

Well, because I think that also in this is weird. I think in America we're a lot softer on babies than other places are. Mm hmmm does that make sense? But yeah, like crely they're hard on babies. Bro, I just a little baby. I think it's funny. I'll say, my auntie like picking up my cousin by his leg like ah, it's funny.

But I also think that in other places, while yes, they can be quote unquote hard on babies, there also is like a more of an intimacy created between parents and their kids than sometimes in the United States. Like real friend, my friend was telling me that there's this practice that happens in a lot of international Asian households where when a child is born, the mother will spend like three months in the bed with the child.

That like, they will.

Just be in the bed all day long, nursing, spending time cuddling, because it's both a chance for the mother to recover but also to sort of build like an intimacy, a comfort with this child. And I think because of that, you really become fucking locked in as a unit, and that child is like nurtured cared for in a way that like in a fucking America you got to be back to work in two weeks.

You know.

That luxury doesn't exist. So while we are quote unquote presenting easier on our children, we are not necessarily giving them the things that like other children are probably reaping.

God damn ain't that America in a nutshell? Fuck? Yeah, fuck that fucked me up.

Well, It's disappointing when you find out that, like, oh we we truly are just doing things wrong in some ways.

Right, because I mean, our babies take a long time to take care of. H Did you read that? You ever read that book Sapiens that you've torn? It goes back to this idea of like standing up, We weren't maybe ever supposed to be standing up, and because of it, our babies come out under developed because it takes longer to take care of our babies than like any other animals.

Yeah right, it takes us way longer to become full grown than every other type of animal.

And giraffes start out doing at all that.

Motherfuckers come out tall and ready flop to the ground and get to work.

Yeah, man, this so fun. I got a draft fight the other day. This is this is weird. Actually, I don't want to talk about it.

What What do you mean? You got in a giraffe fight?

What me? Man? Can I guess what I think it is? Yeah?

Okay, I what I know about how giraffe fight is they slam their next into each other. Am I to believe that you and another person were slamming your your heads and next into each other.

Yeah, why are you selling Paris?

It's like weird now, No, it's definitely weird. I'm like said it. It's like because me and my girl were in the kitchen and we accidentally bumped heads and then she she's like, let's fight like giraffes. There's only like a little bit. Damn, man, you're in love.

That's beautiful. That's really nice. Something's going on here, desire being weird with a lady because she asked, that's what love is.

Why I'm weird too though, So it's like I was like, yeah, yeah, I've never been in a draft fight. I'm not gonna miss out when and it turns out if you have a regular neck, it's real it's hard to get the angles. Yeah.

I was about to say, it seems like you probably are hitting chins and skulls.

Pretty. It's just you can't like because you try to like elongate and then go in. But it's like it's just we don't have we're not built for it. When I built like that. Thank god, she doesn't listen to this podcast.

You gotta dollar to listen. We need the numbers, Come on.

We need the boost.

Let's take ego out of this and get this lady at least downloading once a week. We're calling upon you because we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

Just sleek, it's sexy.

Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat Alien Dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is who you are.

Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so get it. I looked up online what causes stuttering? The Stuttering Foundation stutteringhelp dot Org says there are four factors most likely to contribute to the development of stuttering genetics. Approximately sixty percent of those who stutter have a family member who does.

Also.

Child development, children with other speech and language problems or development till delays are more likely to stutter. Neurophysiology, Recent neurological research has shown that people who stutter process speech and language slightly differently than those who do not stutter. In family dynamics, high expectations and fast paced lifestyles can contribute to stuttering. Stuttering may occur when a combination of factors comes together and may have different calls and different people. It is a probable it is probable that what causes stuttering differs from what makes it continue or get worst. No mention of tickling, but certainly elements inside of this that feel like they.

At least are.

Speaking to the possibility of familial influence and physical I guess nothing physical, but certain sociological influence in your home.

I mean that in and of itself is scary that you can put a lifestyle on a child that will develop, Like, is it like a stress thing, like like my expeditions and fact like the kids under so much stress. It's just like even talking becomes difficult.

Yeah, it sounds like I mean, obviously you can't downplay the sort of importance of family and neurological development being like the probably the biggest players inside of the But I imagine that like the stress of a fast paced household or things not necessarily being as I guess, you know, helpful.

In the needs and.

Results of that one individual, because I don't want to put it on some shit where it's like, oh, your house is fucked up and that's why you stutter.

I don't think that's what they're saying.

I think they're more saying that, like, we all individually have specific needs based on our own brains and like house, and sometimes that need doesn't match what you have, and that might lead to a little bit of a stutter.

Okay, that's good, because I'm glad it's not physical, because there's time I was worried you were going to say you could scare it into somebody. You ever scared a kid a little too much? Oh? Fuck, have you ever done that? Like, were you scared a kid and it was like they got too scared? You know what?

I was so much a kid who did not like being scared. How you're talking about how your little brother not liking being tickled, That's how I felt about, Like, motherfucker's hiding around corners and being spooky and shit, yeah, I have chosen not to ever do that to my kid.

Like interesting, well a tailor two brothers again, both also had the same reactions to being scared.

Oh, one of them really liked it and the other one.

Yeah, the obviously the tickle one, the fiend who as an adult is not an adult. He's sixteen. But it's like the more calm one of all of us. Now he's the calmest one. Well, he also loved to survived trauma.

Don't do that, but he likes that. I grew up in a hunted house, so I think I'll be okay.

He would like because when you would scare him, like if you do the booth thing, he would get scared and then he would laugh really really hard.

Yeah.

Whereas Martin the one you met, he did he so he was very like he was kind of one of those kids where he was which kids credit and he carried on into adulthood, thank god. But he was very quick to be like, I don't like that.

I think about you. You watch Ellen right in like back. No, well I didn't mean literally, I just meant uh. In the the You and the Royal sense. Okay, I didn't presume that you were spending your mornings watching that white lady dance and sneakers.

I didn't think you did either. That's why I was kind of offended when you brought it up. No, no, no, I I don't.

I do not watch Ellen, although you know, I thought she was a pretty good lady until I found out she wasn't.

And I don't mind talk though I will say it's like kind of fun to watch, like the reel or something.

I like when it feels like you're actually having a conversation with that person. I get more bored when it feels like, oh, these are just cant bits during the day, because then it's like, wow, if that's if I'm watching and that, then I might as well wait till late night where they'll tell their the naughty version of this story.

That's you know what I mean? You don't like watching My Man and Michael Strahan.

No, I've never cared for him having a talk show once. I actually think it's pretty offensive that this man with brain damage gets to.

Be Come on, Michael Strahan, He's just a charming guy. I don't. I don't like it. I truly don't like when this might be because you don't like football, though.

It might be, but I really don't like when sports guys suddenly become like a sort of like media guys. It fucking bugs me and I don't know why really, but it don't sit right in my spirit when they like suddenly become cute in our hands, because.

Deep down you just think their big gorillas paid to smash each other. Because that's how it sounds, the way you're talking. That's like me reading between the lines. And this is I love Michael Strahan. I've always thought he was charming. I loved him when he played football, like, oh my god, well he was on the Giants. He was so much fun. And then he had that commercial, big old Michael straighthand oh man, not that guy. I want.

I want to defend myself, but I guess a little part of me is like, yeah, I don't think these big old animals should be talking to fucking Sydney Sweeney.

Yes, I can. I can feel it. I feel it emanating from you.

I I just like when people stay in the lane that they are strongest than and they buy it bugs me when people find themselves in a lane that I know is not where they're supposed to be. You know what I mean that, Like, I get it. Michael Strahand is the charming guy. He's handsome, he's he's fine, but he's also like a glut with a lisp. And I see though.

It's like it's like some guys they make it great, like Shack great media personality.

Shaq is a great media personality next to four got three other guys who know how to talk. But Shaq, he ain't supposed to be talking to regular people.

That's an insane takes. His voice is just deep. He's not slow. Yes he is, David bro this is not split list is a stupid person. You think Shaquille or Shan O'Neill.

I listen, I don't. I don't mean to stretch this into smart and not smart. That's not the point that I'm trying to make. I think you're extending it there. I am saying that Shaq next to Kenny, Ernie and Charles is phenomenal. But whenever they put Shaq next to other people, you start to really tell that this motherfucker ain't connecting dots the way he's supposed to connect dots. There are those episodes where it's like him and Candace Parker, and Candace Parker is exhausted by the end of that ship because he is a hard man to talk to, and he ain't throwing up no lobs to nobody. That's what I'm saying, is that under the right circumstances, I listen to Shaq talk all day, but I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that this is like a late night talk show host.

I mean, okay, he's no Arsenio Hall. No, that's fair.

He's not even DeVante Hale, who I don't even know who that is. I assume our Sinio's slow cousin.

He's none of those people. I like the big fella. I like Michael Strahan.

I my point before we got into this ugly tangent my got dark was to say that I'd.

Shut the fuck up. Jack.

You're Shaq, You're a wonderful speaker, and both your eyes are looking in the same direction.

Yeah, because how do you feel about Kaem Abdul Jabbar.

I don't like that ship either. What the fuck are you doing in the Veronica? That don't make no goddamn sense.

Lost a job.

He's very smart man, He's not funny. Why is he writing in comedy rooms?

Is Veronica Mar's a comedy. I've never watched it. I never watched it. I have never watched it. He's never made us laugh once. I thought it was pretty funny when he was doing that karate.

My point, if I can get to my point, Yeah, My point was that on Ellen, they used to do that thing where they would scare the shit out of their guests. Every once in a while, somebody would be sitting there and then like a producer or a scary person would pop out from a box, the back whatever. And you always see sort of these telling moments inside of the celebrities of like the people who laugh it off genuinely and the people who are laughing because if they don't, they're worried they're going to lose their career. But like are truly angry about what just happened to them. And I think I fall much close, sir, to the I would be truly angry, and not in a way that I could like just keep chit chatting my life, you know what I mean?

I could I do see that, and I would respect that, and you, like I wouldn't. Nothing about you makes me think you would like, I want to be scared. I don't like that. Yeah, I could tell you. I feel like it would take you out of your frame. I feel like it would make you vulnerable in a way that I don't think you would appreciate.

No, I've worked really hard to present a certain person to the world.

Just you could make one noise and that shit would called crumble.

Yeah, And I'll be honest, I do be making weird noises.

Like I cried.

I cried so hard at our wedding, at like our wedding, and one of those cries were like while I was trying to say my vows, like oh, sound came out and then I had to apologize to the to like the entire to be like I'm sorry, y'all. I don't know what that was, man, you know what I mean, Like, I.

Think it's crazy that you even told that story. I wouldn't have told no. Oh yeah, my friend, I'm being yeah, okay, No. Do you do you cry weird? Are you weird crying? I think so.

I think it's because I try not to be crying too hard and right, and it always makes that coyote yelp happen.

That's see That's the thing about crying is you kind of just gotta let it pass through, Like because if you hold on to not crying, that ship Denni's that's when it sounds goofy. You gotta just take the two three big sobs and then get through it.

Yeah, take a deep breath, let it out and then uh and then be past it.

And yeah, yeah when you're holding on. No, I'm telling you because I probably I probably a once every three years, four years something like that. Yeah, So it's like I know how to go through it. And it's also like you just gotta make sure nobody's around. Man, get in the shower, turn the water on, you know what I mean. Blasts Yeah, blast that Mary J. Blige, not gonna cry and just feel what you gotta feel. Damn.

Yeah, I'm not there yet, but I'll work on it. I'm a man in constant change, in constant growth, and I will grow beyond where I am and maybe I'll grow to learn and understand Shack to be the the brilliant thinker that you see him as.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm just you would like you. I think I don't think so I think like if we hung out with the big fella, you don't think you'd have a good time.

No.

I think he's probably a bully in real life.

Do you not like it because you would be so much larger than you?

No, I genuinely think he takes a type of pride in being so much larger than people that like, he's the type of dude that will like bump you intentionally and like sort of shake you a little bit.

And I don't like that. I could see him like picking you up.

Yeah, not in a way that we're both having fun type ship. It's like, no, I want you to feel like, look I could pick you up.

Yeah. Look you're you're a small weak man to me. Look and it's like you head, let me see a little peep. He pulled my pants down.

He's like, look at it, look at it. That's nothing compared to mine.

Look at that.

Ultimately we just unlocked with Your real fear is Yeah, I don't want him to pick me up and expose my little yeah, because when you say it does that would be terrible.

Now that's the type of guy he is. I think, look at it. Your wife, Your wife is there. This is what you like?

Is it.

You vowed your life to this.

Yeah, it's like she's embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed and his voice is all low, so would hurt even more. You'd be like Lester has a tiny penis.

You know, people got their phone thought, oh man, yeah.

Why would you do this? He took your ship out of Dantanni's. Come on, man, it's a good restaurant. Why would you do that? It's our anniversary.

We invited you, hear me, my wife for our anniversary.

I mean that's fair. He does use his size in a way, and who amongst us would not No, I don't blame him.

I'm certainly not better than him. I just don't believe that he would have good, good intentions for for me and frankly you if we spent time with.

Him, maybe I think I could. I think I could get in there.

And I think that that's that's maybe some of the sickness, right, is that we all find ourselves sort of believing in our heroes in a way that that maybe isn't completely true.

But and now, if I'm if I'm being honest with myself, maybe I just love him because he was the biggest blackest thing, and as a big black thing. I was like, you know what I mean, Like I've always been big nigga heroes, Bro, I've always been like big dark guys who are making that's they have a space in my heart. You know, Bro, I get it.

There are a bunch of losers who are just light skinned men that that I'm always going to root for in a way that everybody else you know won't.

And I you have your kings as well. I'm sure I have my kings.

And I can't walk away from that, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise no matter what anybody says about them, because it's just you made me feel seen in a way that I needed when when no one else could.

Right, Like, there's nothing Ben Wallace could do that would make me turn my back on it.

Mm hmm. I respect that, you know, Yeah, I get it. Same thing for for Austin Rivers.

For me, you know what fucked up in my heart of hearts and this is not this is just my immediate feeling to that. When you said that, I was like, yeah, we are better. In my brain. In my brain, I was like, this is said Austin Rivers, I'm talking about Ben Wallace. I was you Austin Rivers.

But you know, he was the funniest name I could think of at the time.

I mean, you know he's.

Anyways, to Corey, is that because we I think we did it. I think I think we got really needed Corey. To your question of whether or not tickling leads to stuttering, I think we would be I responsible to say anything other than that is not true. Your mother is wrong, but she remains the funniest mom and she deserves the Funniest Mom Award when that comes out. I don't know when voting opens up, but she certainly has mine and and David's vote.

Yeah, definitely, definitely. I tell you tell your mom. We say, Hi, tell your mom. We say what's up? Hey girl, what's up? Teller Langston licks his lips.

Hey, hey, tell her, We said, Gorey, go tell your mom.

When we say that, when your mom comes from and be like, where's my hug miss Brandy, Miss Brandy? Where my hug at? I do I do want to know him? For the record, I'm not aware my hug at type dude at all. This is I know, No, you're not. I'm joking. Yeah, that doesn't even that doesn't even fit with your whole.

Get down, and that'd be devastating to find out about a person you you know, to be like, oh shit, that's who you are, because you.

Also seem like a guy who would get the hug naturally anyways, because to be aware my hug at you.

Have to not yeah, you weren't gonna get a hug you weren't.

Gonna get, which means you're already kind of maybe it's a musty situation or just a general off putting in that women don't want to embrace you. Yeah, exactly.

Can you tell the people where they can find you on what cool shit you have going on?

A cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram? All the stuff is there. I'm not touring too much right now, but back in like June July, that's about to start up again. So in the meantime, just watch Royal Crackers come to the show, come to the live, come to the live show for my birthday is gonna be great at the Comedy Store May fifth lit. My MoMA told me, we're trying to sell that bitch out so then we can in turn some more shows out eventually make them enough money to disappear and have us never have you, never see us again because ultimately we do not know you.

We don't know you, and we're going to retire in the coreer, Miss Brandy.

We know you, we know funny funny, so funny bro.

As always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman and if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us exactly where we can find Corey's mom, send it all to my mamapod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. You can buy the the merch. I believe the website changed, so I don't remember what it is, but look it up. You'll find it. It's not that deep. And like subscribe, do whatever you're supposed to you on iTunes, do all that stuff so that we we get these numbers popping like they should. We we love all of our listeners and we're grateful for all you new listeners that keep coming in. And that's that's all the stuff that we needed to say.

Bye, bitch, my Quo chips and your.

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My Momma Told Me

Comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie take a deep dive into the most exciting, groundbreaking a 
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