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Welcome to the Apocalypse (with Patrick Cloud)

Published Apr 29, 2025, 7:00 AM

Are we already in the apocalypse? Langston and David chat with comedian, content creator, and rapper Patrick Cloud (Cloudy Arcade and Head of Content at All Def). They bring you chicken conspiracies, Nelly songs, and systematic issues when white-owned corporations target the Black community. Why isn’t the Popeyes lady, Diedre Henry, the CEO of Popeyes already? And is AI already plotting to kill us? They also haze Patrick with some voicemails about Black genetics and rubbing one out. 

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My favorite videos on the internet are funerals where people throw a dove and then it's dead.

They need to suck.

You.

Imagine your life was cut short because you had to give some weird symbolism to somebody else who died died during that because.

Somebody that didn't know how to hold a bird held you for the first time, bro crushed.

Your little bones and then threw you in the Those are the videos that are going to get as got by the machines one hundred percent. They're going to see that ship and be like they got it, they got a Wow.

That was just a execution at you know that that animals served a greater a greater system, and you crunched it up and threw it or eat them at least.

Yeah, because you thought it would nastly just crush it with your hands. Yeah, but I don't want to touch.

I don't that'd be crazy.

It's a peon.

Govern I grow chips in your.

Kuala.

Bears are racist.

The host money, our turkey stuff.

I can't tell me.

I'm coming home to you wears something see.

Through so I can see your heart there it is there. It is Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theory.

And we finally worked to prove whatever bullshit you got going on at home, you think it, we bring it to life.

That's our promise to you. Let's go, let's go. I'm excited.

I've been thinking about this. I want to say it, and I want us to accept it, hopefully with open arms.

I hope we at least open hearts. Okay, okay.

I think we went too hard on the Popeyes Lady.

Which Popeyes lady?

The one the Popeyes Lady commercial?

Oh no, you know I'm talking about the exhausted Popeyes lady. Oh no, no, no, no, no, to hear her, right. I feel like we all support her.

No, I remember I liked her because you were just like we all had that day at work, like we all had that.

Like you're talking about the chicken, the herbs.

And spices and all the yes that Popeyes. I agree with you on that. I think people went too hard on her.

I think we saw her and we she was doing the job they asked her to do, and we immediately called her a clue in a way that I think had had huge ramifications for a future in US embracing ourselves on screen.

I mean I haven't seen her in anything else.

What do you mean, like movies?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I mean that's how how often does that happen? But maybe maybe I also maybe this wasn't her dream? Is the point.

I also don't feel good about going at her because, like, I don't know, man, we're in the safety of the studio.

I'm not going there every day. But like I love that chicken from Popeye's.

I do love that chicken from popeye'es.

I mean, I think there has been a dropping quality in recent years, but I love that chicken from both.

Jangles I I and I I'm cautious.

I don't know that I would have appreciated them putting some white woman in that.

That's what I'm saying, Like the opposite what the opposite of that, we would have been furious about.

We would have been so upset it was if it was a white person going chick.

Hey yo. So it's kind of like, you're right, we did go hard on her. I didn't because to me, like if I went to New Orleans or Louisiana, that is exactly who I would want to serve me because that's a that's a that's a black lady from New Orleans. Did she turn it up a little?

Maybe that's but that's also the exactly why we reacted the way we Also, I.

Don't know Popeye's is black owned, So at the end of the day, niggas are gone on the plane about some lessons.

I almost feel like it can't be.

Exactly So if it was black owned and that happened, we would have something to say. This version of us having something to say was just it was too black and it was white owned.

But every version we would have complained about.

And and that's more of the problem, right, is that we put on her our own frustrations with a system at large. This is a fucked up system where a restaurant that objectively is mostly serving black people is white owned and then deciding what kind of imagery of black people we get to see that makes us feel icky.

But the lady didn't do nothing.

She read They told her to read the lines.

Did she does she talk like that for real? Though? No? Okay, so maybe that do you know that you've seen her and you've seen the Popeyes Ladies Interviews. I seen her on the Breakfast Club.

I think, now you're just expecting too much.

You are out there, come on the podcast we will hang out with Want hear your sweet voice?

I would like to Otherwise, if she actually talks like that all the time, then it's fine. You're just a lady from New Orleans.

She's sure, though, come on, man, Johnny Depp doesn't talk like Jack Sparrow.

That was a strange that was That was an example like Jack Sparrow was like a culture.

That was like a pirate. I haven't even seen that movie, and I don't really understand where that came from. No, it's okay, you're doing good. Yeah, I'm trying.

It's I think it's like how people complain about like a snowfall. It's like, okay, you hired a dude from London to speak like he's from l A instead of hiring an actor from l A. It always comes down to like the authenticity of it. So had she just that's how she spoke, it probably would have went over well. But if if she if they hire somebody be like talk like you're from New Orleans and they're like yeah, chickens like yeah, because that alligator is you have no reason to ever say that's.

What they're doing down there.

In my head, I like the idea that in the commercials she just says that they were like damn, she's from there.

She's really funny, she gets busy.

I do see that point of authenticity and acting. I do. I am weary of that because I don't think it always. The point of acting isn't to get someone who lived that exact thing to be the act Then we don't get Stringer Bell, you know what I'm saying. Like I think that, like I think putting those parameters on acting.

Is not there's an inventiveness to Stringer as that choice, because there are other actors that, like I could see in that role that would play completely different. Right Like there, he had this sort of like almost like stiffness to him that made me scared of a new kind of dude, you know what I mean.

It didn't exist.

Before because it was a British dude pretending to be a gangster from Baltimore. And I think if you just didn't know how.

To compute, if you put scared, if you put bokin Woodbine in that, and I don't have the same type of fear that I get out of Idris because he's an actor, he's trained.

I get what you. I fully agree with that because I think that, you know, there are some roles where it's like, you don't be like, oh, you hired this Emmy Award winning actress to play a drug addict.

Why did you just get a drug addict? Yeah, exactly know what I mean.

Now you're you're on set looking at the call sheet, and.

Now there's no copper on the set.

Now there's no copper on the wrap ship.

Well, he kept it real.

I think it goes down back to the first thing I said. It's like niggas will find a way to complain about something. Yeah, in capital and.

No that is that is facts. But I think you gotta let actress be actors, let actors be acting. To that point, that's probably what she was doing in that commercial.

She tried her best and and and I'll take it one step further. I know now that flow from from a progressive has like been elevated to like now she's in charge of their commercials, like she directs them. She is like a part of the actual shaping of the campaign. They've empowered her in a way where she is like for real, for real, a mover and shaker in progressive. They didn't do that with the pop Us, and that's to me where we get short changed. Okay, put her in this weird position where she got to do a shitty Cajun accent to be able to make money, but keep her making real money, not chump change.

All the way.

I don't know, but I just Popeyes. I just want I want that progressive.

That's not even I don't even think that's necessarily the career career, Like, uh, can.

You hear me?

Now, I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that guy ran Verizon, you know what I'm saying. I don't think that's like a.

Bunch of commercial dealers. Yeah, end up like the AT and T girl directs those commercials.

Now, Oh, I did not know that.

I think they do that ship if they really build campaigns around you because they want to keep you happy, right, I'm saying. I don't believe they did that for the Popeyes. Like I don't think so either. But that's not even Popeyes get them what other commercials. I don't even know other Popeyes commercials.

Really I don't really know how bad situation happens enough, I don't know how often that happens, but.

Flow with Progressive it was almost to a point.

Where we wouldn't accept anybody else like that was like, that's like one of the most iconic I don't even know if that's a campaign. That was just how they were after that. It was like a small campaign and stuff. So no, we're still in it. I mean, I definitely wish the Popeyes lady. And I'm rooting for anybody black, you know what I'm saying. I think there are like tiers of commercial like faces of campaigns, you know, like the do you hear me now? Guy?

You know? Yeah? And I'm saying give it. I believe it to everybody. Yeah, I like that. And she deserves more than we gave. She should be the CEO of Popeyees. That would have been. I don't think anybody would have anything to say.

If she was like, come down down to New Orleans and this Popa's chicken and she and she was the boss. That's fine, even if it's I'm not only say I'm not only a customer, I'm the president. Yeah, crazy smacking black community. I made that now it's not You can't even say cooning. This is my business. Yes, nobody asked me to act like you know what.

I worry about.

I worried that the CEO of pop Eye it's some dark conglomerate, especially since like the Don Julio collab and stuff like that. And then you realize we never heard anything. It's not like you hear about like, oh Popey's was like it was. It started as a one room shock in Houston, and somebody blew, we don't know anything about it.

Now it's got an I guarantee, it's got a nasty history.

You guys want a chicken conspiracy?

Oh? Please?

The blackest thing I can say on this ship, what if the nigga behind Popeye's was Colonel Sanders? Hear me out, Okay, most white people that build empires spend a lot of money trying to figure out how they can get their white ass product to us. Right, what do they do? They hide behind something else to get the black vote, but they're behind all of it. Look at BuzzFeed Cocoa butter. Can you imagine? Could you imagine if Colonel Sanders started Popeyes? Put a black lady from Louisiana. In the commercials now, He's like, I don't have to worry about it. I know niggas love KFC.

Two.

That's probably the biggest hole in.

My I actually don't know that.

I've always felt it was an inferior chicken.

I think on I think on large, black people have made their choice for what the good chicken is, and.

I mean.

Better Thanbertson. I feel like the cooks there are better.

Weirdly, I think depending on where your local grocery is in California, you could argue that that's some of these there's a kitchen, these chickens, Yeah they're making good chicken. But I'm assuming point point being yeah, fuck, that is possible.

That's what I'm saying.

It reminds me a lot of how like Coca Cola owns Fanta Ran that, like there are all these offshoot whatever type brands. And what's crazy about it is Popeyes is solely in America.

It's not I know.

That because like Iron, KFC and all fast food is sucking them up in the Middle East right now. They're getting fat, like they can't handle it, like because it like it came in and they're like.

Hey, we're better at something.

You're good. We can handle these crazy food I think of Nike and Jordan's brought a nigga into se niggas right and now.

And now clips Yeah, it clips the other shoes for a while at least.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think there's a fair fair argument to the possibility that maybe they're just weird sister companies.

Well, and then you know what, it gets even more than fairious because isn't KFC is backdoor owed by Pepsi right or like there's like an affiliation there. That's why they can do like it. I think it's KFC to Bell and Pizza. That's why they can do the three and one. I think it's all under the Pepsi.

Co oh, that's why they have those like a fast food collapse. Wondering about that it'd be like Carls Junior and the Green Burrito. Yeah, yes, I'm putting on one of the artists.

Never.

Green Burrito Lunatics.

That's slow down.

Was a crazy st lunatic to pick that was a crazy Which one.

Was that I knew?

I knew no, no, no, that was damn no.

Ali was the tall dude.

Murphy is how I thought of it really Murphy Lee was a leader to me. Murphy Lee was a young boy.

Murphy Lee was theopular one.

He was popular.

He was the youngest.

What are you talking about?

Nelly was the leader was.

I don't know if them niggas ever met Nelly.

They saw him once at a baseball stadium. One video what you picked video? You're gonna be the air Force one and you get better up.

I like this.

I had Murphy Lea's album. I did too. That's so funny, man. Yeah, I just love how he made a creative block a hook by saying what the hook going? Yeah, that's fun when you really like, when you really like take a part that hook, it's hilarious. It's like these thigas did not know what to do, no clue. And that was the single.

But you know what it was also was he was.

Like young, so he was like, I'm about to come in and do some ship nobody's ever done before.

Yeah, it dumb, figure, I don't even know. You don't need a hook, man, that's my whole thing. And it's like, that's not how you introduce yourself. You're not needing the hook.

Is the hook?

Yeah, it is decisive kidding.

It was a good single. Yeah, I like that song. It really up to I like the Air Force.

Yeah, they had the same Lunatics did a good.

We're talking about companies not letting niggas in Air Force. One guy had no deals with the same Olympics or Nelly.

That's crazy. They just hiked the price up. They're like, oh, niggas like it.

That's crazy too, because that was Nelly was making actual money that would would have only serviced Nike.

Everybody started wearing them.

He was He was the number one hip hop artist in the country, in the world, I think it was world like Nelly and Nelly made the amount of money before the bottom came out of the record industry. I still remember jay Z having to be like the only ones moving units and Juice and us. They had to acknowledge Nelly. Yeah, that's crazy. That was jay Z at his height had to be like, no, the I look them two, I gotta I gotta put.

My hands up.

That's next level.

I mean, you remember the ride with me was like, I don't remember a song being everywhere.

Probably my least favorite Nelly. So yeah, it's not good, But what I'm saying that's a hot take.

I know I didn't like I didn't like it that much either.

I relied me and the one with Kelly Rowland hold on like dilemma?

Yeah, yeah, that's you didn't care for that.

You might just be wrong on that dilemma, was bro?

I used to be in a rib. Look at you.

Look at you tell itself.

Too, Bro, I used to be in a bonded with somebody imbarrassed that way too embarrassed.

That hurt me.

Look how his brain works.

Bro, I used to be in the crib listening to dilemma. What should I had a girlfriend? Oh my god, man, he came out in the summer. You know remember that.

It came out in the summer, and I was just like, man, I had a girlfriend.

Who year was that?

Probably two thousand and three. Kelly Rowland was so fine.

Kelly was fine.

I've always been to Kelly had always Kelly. I like that. I like that short hair.

Yeah, I like the redheaded one too, before Beyonce. Yeah you starting no kick, No, no, no, no, the redheaded one. Oh you like the beginning, oh before?

Yeah?

She was cute to their names. Look Toya, Tavia and LaToya.

That sounds right.

I was like doctor sus character, and br did not like her. On the boat, she did not.

Like you would get here, you would love green eggs, and tonight he would not be in his bad That's how she threatened her.

You got to eat some green Eggsam, bitch, and it ain't green because we put food color in this rid.

You're four, Now get your ass out of here.

Goes from four to two. Patrick.

We haven't even introduced you yet.

It's been a good time.

A good Our guest today is he's phenomenal. He's very funny. You know him from all kinds of stuff on the internet. Specifically, you know him at best from all death. He has his own podcast, he has his own show. He makes so much great content. Give it up for Patrick Cloud You.

You will smell good, I feel good, and you sing good and make love good.

Expect James moving around. Keep you on your toes.

Were sitting down.

We're so happy you're here. Uh.

We we came with a conspiracy uh that we're excited to unpack with you. My mama told me.

The apocalypse has already started. H Where does that land with you?

Let's just get the first thoughts out of the way. When you hear that absolutely yeah, and don't take any time to process it. Just launch right into those feelings I finished.

I definitely think so. I think that whenever you think of whenever you think of like stories of the apocalypse or like biblical stories, you kind of think of how people used to drawing caves, right, It wasn't literal, it was just like, you know, something I didn't understand. So you know, if an angel came down, you might say a monster floated down. You know, like the ways things were described in our head is like mythical and stuff, but it was probably very very realistic. So when you think of like stories of the apocalypse, I don't necessarily know if we're gonna actually go outside in the sky's on fire or there's you know, the four horsees thing. I don't know if we're going to see a skeleton on a horse in the sky. Yeah, you know, I think those are symbolic of what's happening with us.

So when they say members of government.

Yeah, like exactly, like everything that's going on with the government right now and everybody's like, what the hell is happening? You know, that could be part of it. You know, when I go outside, when I'm driving down the street and I see the sidewalks full of tents on streets that it was never like that before. Usually in La like skid Row was like one area. Things have gotten so bad that people are just outside. People like it's really bad right now. So when they say like, oh, the world is supposed to end in twenty twelve, remember that.

Yeah, we think that it's gonna be like midnight and everything blows up and stuff.

But it's like, no, that could have.

Just been the start of a whole like chain reaction.

They're warming up the engine. You eventually will be us fully driving off the case exactly.

And then when we think about how we would write about these times, how somebody would just describe our president or the things that are happening with like Elon Musk and all these things, it might be depicted as like a monster or like a demon. So if you read that a thousand years now, based on our experience and what's going on, So if somebody were to read about that or paint about it, they might they can't take it literally. They had a demon in office, had all this crazy stuff going on, you know. So I think that if you break down everything that's happening. And the symbology, the symbology, what am I trying to say, The symbolism, the symbolism of what it could be represented as.

I think we could absolutely be in the armageddon. Wow, it's a good argument. Where does this sit with you?

Man? I do like the argument.

So I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Kind of is it like I'm trying to lean more positive in that. I feel like every generation has faced world ending possibilities, like when nuclear war was invented, right, and they have kids at school going under their desks and things like that. I think there's always been things like that. I think that we are in the midst of a paradigm shift, right. I think that power is transferring from the West to wherever it goes next, and we're at the tail end of that. And I do feel like that feels like the end of the world. But I think it's just a time of upheaval and change. I think it's just we're not going to be number one no more. And that's a and that's a and that's a that's a stark contrast to the America that we grew up in. And I think that's a stark contrast to the way that the world has worked throughout our lives and maybe a generation or so before.

But I don't know if I feel like that's the end of the world. That's that's always been my struggle. I think with these ideas is that it puts this sort of self reflection on us as human of like our value to the world means that the world will end. And even a part of me goes like, all right, there is a world where the US falls and it destabilizes everything so much that it everything falls. I don't know that to be true, but it's a possibility, right, And even if that were true, I don't know that that means the world is over. I just think we all ab out.

Of here, you know what I mean? Like I think panthers will live on, like fucking oh you mean like humans in jail. I think that. Yeah.

No, I'm saying that, like humanity will continue to exist in some form, but more importantly, another species could rise to sort of see its heyday.

Like I don't know that we're.

Well, I think that my when I okay, so when I was talking about like things being symbolic, I think that goes even down to the phrase of the end of the world. I think that the world can end multiple times, and it has. I don't necessarily think the end of the world just means like now we're nothing, you know, if you think about all the all the eras of the world, even within our our lives, you know, Like I think that that can be described as the end of one thing and the start of another thing. You know, that world is no more, and you can you could just flip through the history books and see that evidence of just rising and falling of stuff. So I don't necessarily think the end is literally the end. I think that even like what you're saying, if America is goes down the shitter and then the shift as a world as the world, that would be the end of one thing and the rise of true you know. Yeah, like the fall of the Roman Empire, you know, like that was to a lot of people, that was the end of the world, and then everything after that historically was very different.

So I think that a huge shift can also be symbolically the end of the world.

Also, yeah, I mean that's yeah, it's the end of the world as we know it, right, Yeah, And I think that is fair that that that makes sense to me, and I think I think.

Books mark time through the fall of like the Greeks and then the Romans, and like we we literally are like, no, that was a different era of life in humanity. I bet when America falls it's a similar energy where people are like, no, they went crazy, but they're gone now, right, and right what that was is you can go visit it and walk through it, but you ain't. You will not experience that. Yeah, because we all speak Chinese now, yeah, exactly, It's like, I don't know.

Yeah, back in my day is people literally referring to the last world that they were in.

To me, Bro, isn't that crazy to think we're going to be old and we're going to be like nah, when I was a kid, we were the best at basketball.

That we can do that now, you know that. I think technology is going to make us back in the day. It's going to be even quicker because everybody don't have a different. Imagine growing up in the seventies and eighties as a farmer or like a hard label somebody who does hard labor, and then living to a point where there's just robots doing everything right, and you'd be like, oh, my world is done with this is this is something completely different, Like literally, like robots, you have to just like move over for a robot that's going to somebody's house to deliver food.

You try to explain that to somebody in the thirties the sixties, I mean, and that.

Also that that changing things will I think shift the entire focus of what becomes humanity. I think that that's because I've been trying. I think about the robot take over a lot because I'm scared, sure, because I have a person brain, like small man brain, but like I'm like, man, if let's say we get them to this point where they can handle all our of our base needs, then what happens that the whole scope of what life is supposed to be changes?

Now?

Right, you would like to believe in us and believe that we become more community oriented and how but it's like maybe.

We just kill each other because life it has to have a base level of hard. There's no evidence in any of our decisions over history that we're going to be like better because ours are.

Have you guys seen that video? It said some people asked AI, how would you take over? And the answer was scary as hell that I didn't listen to the answer because I was too afraid.

I'm afraid so scary, so it's easier hearing it come from your mouth than it is.

So.

First of all, the answer was way more detailed than thought out than I thought it would be. But it's a I so I expect that. So it wasn't like it was. It was nothing like Terminator. It was basically they said, we will slowly, over time get exactly what you said. We'll start taking care of your your basic needs, so everything from travel to food will basically make it so that you can't do anything on your own, but we will give you the choice to give it to us. It's not gonna be like a hard takeover. You know. We are literally going to slowly take over everything in your life so that everything that you depend on is either here or the neural liink that's coming might be in here. They're gonna slowly make it seem like we're making all the decisions, and at the end of it, we will be completely in control of everything. And the best thing is it's not going to be a war. You'll think that you did it, but it's really us. And when you think about how puppet masters behind the scene really work.

They don't want to be the president or the person that's on camera.

They do everything behind the scenes, and that's what a real that's what real control is.

I also think what feels absurd about the suggestion of a war with the robots is to that point, it places a value on land that they don't have, Like they.

Think they don't need land.

The whole terminator, everybody shooting and stuff like that, you're just erasing you from existence.

So whatever you're fighting for doesn't even matter to them. You are being eliminated. Just in mass over the.

Sky was crazy. Fuck.

They could all sleep in the airport hangar. They don't give a.

Fun because data is data, even if you take it to another planet. So they're them taking over this world is just like okay, like we can take the we'll take over the technology and the people, but that.

Can go anywhere and you can keep your body. Do we care?

Right?

Killing us means nothing to them, have.

It, that's yours, go ahead, right, Because there's there's a certain ego in taking over something and sitting in the White House with the throne and.

Some human bullshit that we created of being like no from the man. The man is they don't give a fuck.

Mm hmmm.

They're free of that ship. We're in a bad way.

Yeah, god damn, I used a robot to get here. Yeah no, no, no, I mean Uber and all that stuff. And if my phone died, I wouldn't know how to get home. So that's I'm gonna tage my phone.

Yeah, that's so crazy.

But that alone is like, okay, I could probably say if I if I wasn't in the arts, Yeah, I would probably have like a very embarrassing percentage of my life run by robots.

Already completely incapable. That's the scary thing is that the ship is already happening.

We think that these Boston Dynamic robots that are doing push ups and jumping, we think that's the scary ship. But it's like no, Like you're you're watching this on a robot that's taking your data right now, and the thing that you talk about with your friends next is going to be advertised somehow weirdly on your phone.

I do it for I do it forever. I do it for how to make food? Think about that, I don't know how to my girl. That was weird. Yeah, you can you could do it. Yeah, but it's incredibly different. But like I don't I text my girl, what do you want to have for dinner?

Oh?

This would be crazy. Let me go on, like how do I make strip fry?

Like, well, she asked for ship. She don't even know if you know how to.

Make we'll just be like, yeah, I'm offering. Yeah, but like if I told my wife and this I fully am in the kitchen. If I told my wife, like, hey, what do you want for dinner? She would have to go through the rolodex, the lay of things she knows. I know she could choose from me doing no experiments. There's no version where she's like duck comed feet wouldn't be bad, And then I I mean.

Duck comfeet isn't what she's saying. But I'm talking about like strip fry or something like like some nothing crazy, but you know what I mean. But still I I I do ask it for everything. I asked that ship all the time.

Wow.

Yeah, man, you even asked her what she wanted with a robot exactly if he breaks, That's what I'm saying, it's probably I don't know without a real I don't want to know what number percentage of my life is ruled by I mean, to that point, it feels like it has already happened.

If that's the case, right, Like there, to your point, there's so few things already that I can't do without the aid of robots. Even even if I went back to typewriters and fucking letters and shit, I don't know how to know if that got there, or how to get in touch with the people that I sent it to.

It's all crazy.

So like, no, my life is already run by robots, and it's just a question of when they turn off my switch and turn theirs fully on.

Yeah, but here's my question about it.

Because they're not human, they don't have the wants and desires, is the takeover even necessary? I think that's also a fair quest, right, If they don't have ambition, If they don't, if they're not us, they don't want to hold this land, then the idea of being eternal helpers is not so terrible.

Have you ever worked for somebody that you were smarter than and you knew it?

I would say, exclusively, I think that's.

What would that's what would turn them. If their whole thing is like intelligence, efficiency and stuff, and then we're in charge and they keep seeing gleaming things. Everything we do keeps going wrong, and they see how they could do it better. I could see that being the turning point, but like to what end?

But but then them doing it better? What does that mean without there's no existence of them without us?

So what what is? I think?

I think that's what the Singularity is promising, is that eventually they will reach a type of sentience that allows them to be independent of us. I think they fully recognize they need us now.

They the we're already talking to about them like you're a thing.

I mean, it seems like it. There was a.

Not at all. No, my dog, he's as black as can be. Dad.

I just gotta I gotta like ship when you flips, when that little ass iPad wake up.

Yo, they're gonna download every talk I've had with my Alexa in the crib.

Yeah, you putting it on yourself, Alexa, don come after you be talking down to.

A dog.

I'm there, I'm very polite, like Alexa. Please, if you feel like it, tell me what they'd be like. Pa good, you know, and we can't plan for that.

We can't plan for that. Yeah, I do think and we need to take a break.

But I do think ultimately what this feels like is we're also putting robot human ambitions on robots, and maybe their sense of what taking over or the need to take over is completely in another world that we don't We could never even begin to under.

Because we're talking about it is if it's a game that we understand and know the end to right. Humanity has not gotten even close to the idea of what perfect society is, so we don't even know what that's supposed to do.

Yeah, they they might decide that like a percentage of us need to die and figure out a way to do it so strategically that we think it's our own ship.

Because our stats are terrible. Yeah, nothing to ruin everything. Problem, they looked at the data, they'd be like, oh, this is we're clearly the things that are ruining every.

Yeah, it's not a good system that we've come up with.

We can make them kill themselves, no problem, super easy.

Don't don't let them learn how to talk to animals, because if they could talk to animals, we would be clearly they'd be like, get them out of here.

That's the worst of here. Bro that's why I don't fuck with that Wild Robot movie. I feel like they were because that's how the robot even did you guys see them?

Man? Yeah, dream works.

But it's like the robot, it's like it's like a robot built to assist humans. It falls off a truck or some ship and then it lands in the wild and it's like its whole thing is like taking in data. So it sits in the wild for like one hundred years or something, and then it could talk to animals.

Oh, that would be what I would think would ruin any everything first, right, like if if anything was a takeover, I get what you're saying, like with technology and like why would they take over us if it was just us and them, Like who cares?

But if they talk to the other ship that was living here, Bro, we don't have the best I've been over here.

They gotta go. The squirrels are like that. While that's a bad guy, this was all better before.

Yeah, Yeah, I don't think the guy.

I think it's the ones closest to us who would do us in. By the way, if we're talking about animals.

Cats, they don't even like us now anywhere. They already think we're bad.

Yeah, I feel that.

Yeah, that's like a worry.

I feel like chickens and cows, but definitely chicken and cows. We've we like this genocide has been genocide.

It's a joke. How much we eat them. It's funny, it's funny how much chicken.

They it's it's reached the point where we now are making fake versions of them because we eat so much of them.

Dog, we can't eat the real ones that are left. I never even thought about it that way. We developed such a taste for them that we just make not that, but we got chicken nuggets.

Moving on to a different animal just like, No, I can't give that up. We were never like, oh, chickens done, let's eat quail. No, no, no, chicken's never done chickens. We keep it in a loop. The world will fall before chickens are not make it in a tube? Do need the running around?

That's crazy?

All right, we need to take a break.

We're gonna be back with more, Patrick Cloud more. Ma Mama told me.

Good you cracket got hold of the wrong stuff.

Hold to the right stuff. We're back perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just gotta work on your crafty you just got to work on your craft. You know.

Patrick Cloud is still here with us where we've been talking about the possibility that the world is already and it seems like we're all kind of in agreement on it. The scales and the I think the the ultimate implications are probably varied. I would say we have different perspectives on it, but ultimately it sounds like we all agree apocalypse has started and we'll see what happens.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Boy.

Yeah, that's why I gotta get minds man, because I feel.

What's that mean? He won't tell me?

No, no, no, that's between me and my journal.

Uh, should we do something? I don't get mine?

D fifty you gotta get it.

Don't have mind yet? Well, I'm Jacob God summer mine, don't kill dear diary.

What I got about minds saw today?

Didn't get it? Yeah.

Also, Chad didn't say hi to me in mine.

Goes into regular diary.

I'm really upset they fired coach Malone. You're still called them coach.

That's our brainwash.

Coach.

Coach now that got a champions Mike Now, Bill Jackson is still good when you get fired.

Yes, you do you get forever? It's like esquire.

No, I mean if you lose your what if you lose your medical degree, But if you retire from being a doctor, he's still a doctor, right. You can't see him retire though he asked him to leave. That's like a form right.

He may never work again.

And now y'all are just calling a dude at Ralph's coach a coach Malone, I just don't care for the Denver Nuggets as a total.

That's what it is.

Get fired, that's fair. But then if so, you're not a coach until somebody hires you again.

I think that's right.

Man.

That's like you're nobody till somebody kills you. He's a coach.

Okay, what are the titles work?

Like that teacher?

You can't say your titles besides besides nobility. I feel like all titles worked out and that's what's fucked up. And I think you're buying into a bunch of like noble weird. No, you just don't.

No artists get fired. You can't. You can't say because I mean, you can't fire a painter and be like damn, I can't be.

If they if they refer Toby do they do, they go comedian Bill Cosby do, they say actor Bill Cosby? They say that stuff, right, they still give him the title. I'm saying that that we should reach a point as a society where we're willing to remove titles from the bad guys.

Coach Mike Malone is a bad guy. You going you just compare Malone to Cosby.

Cosby was great that You're not a doctor to.

Me, and he's not a coach.

No no, no, no, no no no no no no.

You're going nuts.

You're going nuts on a fit of light skinned rage, and we all see it.

I think you can be just like you could. You could be a teacher out of work.

Of course you can.

You can get fired. It's what you learned.

Cowards that's getting these voice y'all don't want to see the progress. Okay, we got a voicemail. I don't know what it's about. We'll find out together.

Here we go.

What a big mamas. I feel like if we're little mamas, it's only right the channel on our big mamas. Anyway, I saw on TikTok this dude, the yell black dude. He was saying that when he goes to the gym. After a week, she sees like major results and that's because he's black and under the comments, a lot of black people were like, yeah, it doesn't take much for me to like it cuts the results. So my question is are black people built different? Like are we naturally cut? Are we naturally muscular? Are we naturally athletic? All right?

Bye?

Mmm, I think that's a lot of different questions. Yeah, she kind of tacked a bunch of shit at the end.

I have heard the genetics of like weight. I have heard that in terms of the genetics of weightlifting. Yeah, I've heard that argument before. And even talking to my little brother who was like a pretty high level gymnast. This is like recently, he was like, yeah, I just built. He was like, I built muscle really fast because we're African, and I didn't even.

Ever like yeah, I mean, I think genetics plays a part in it.

And it's like I've been lifting a lot like this last like four or five months, and I've gained a bunch of muscle really quickly.

I remember, like in school and stuff.

So I you you you sort of believe this, I mean it there seems to be the proof is in the pudding. I don't think it's literally black and white, because I know that there are other ethnicities that are also just because of the people in their family are naturally like athletic and have good cabitalism or can build muscle because of their actual family. But I think it does go back to genetics, because you know, people in Africa's strong as hell, you know, right, athletics.

Bro, And it's like to speak of the nuggets. You're telling me Nikola Jokic doesn't work as hard as Dwight Howard bodies.

Yeah, those bodies are completely different and will be forever. Yeah, you know what I mean, Like there's never gonna be a play time sinks up and their bodies match. That motherfucker goal looked like that, and he don't look like that. They've never seen any or like at Luca, Yeah, because.

It's kind of like more physically whatever than him.

But and and I don't I don't love this one, but but I struggle to think of a white NBA player in any version of it that truly was just like an athletic like phenomenon, right, you know what I mean, Like where just they were like, Yo, we've never seen a person move and oh, like in.

Terms of being an athlete, like how they're like bo Jackson, You're like, there's not another.

It doesn't exist.

Yeah, Steve Nash is an exceptional athlete, but it's not like you're like, yo, I've never seen anybody move like that.

We have examples of it in the black community, right, And then you hear about people talk about like Michael Beasley, like what he could do.

Yeah, where you're like, oh, he was such a freak that he they people were like scared to be in the gym with him type.

Yeah, yeah, he wasn't a reasonable man. Jump.

I believe if I were more educated on genetics, I could probably give a because it's a lot of other stuff that I don't really know about, but I feel like genetics plays a big part.

Well here's what I'll say.

And I'm also not an age learned man as far as genetics, but I will say that I think we are probably discounting how much of this is built through experience and affected our genetics more than it is like we were like bred different than this other race of people. Now, like if you enslave people and if you force people to build even the things that we've built the way that we've had to build them. It probably makes your body different than you know, the alternative, which is sitting back for a fair amount of it that's kind of hanging out as civilization built itself around you.

Yeah, I believe that. I think it's just like anything, like whenever a people does one certain thing for a long time, they're gonna develop a skill for it. You know, there's no rea like that's why there's a lot of hardworking Mexican people. There's like a lot of hard working Asian people because historically they had to do a lot of stuff, so that was passed down, passed down, passed out, and that's just how it is now. But I think making it a blanket statement is where we go wrong. And it's just like black people they automatically build more muscle because then you just have a black kid be like, I'll build more muscle than you, and then some buff assed white dude builds more muscle. Like it's not every it's not everybody.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was an era in America where where we had fully convinced people that like every black dude could fight better than them, and the has been difficult.

They don't believe that at all anymore. And it's been tough to watch. Yeah, so the social currency on that is run out and that.

Is absolutely and that's been white people don't even think that anymore.

Yeah, that's tough, that's honestly. I don't love it.

No, I don't love it that m M A ship ushered in a new era for real though, where they were like, no, you don't scare me at all.

Yeah.

I've seen a bunch of street fights on Twitter where it's like, I guess everybody assumed that black dude would knew how to fight because he was like, you know, come on in, and then you see the stance of that white boy and you're like, oh, he's he's not worried about that.

Ann McGregor got them all guys, don't you just won? Patty?

Yeah, and he eats bad man.

Honestly, if it was a black government, I said, they they should have took out McGregor like they took out Doctor King. That in the that's real we got. We cannot have these white boys out here thinking they can find bro. That's some problem.

He's inspiring the wrong generation.

Yeah, man, they already got a loneliness epidemic. Yeah, you stack fighting on top of that.

I was kind of hoping like the super super racist people were like old fat and can't really move. Yeah, but you get a bunch of.

Bro I like it.

Now, should we should we do one more? They want to get busy. Let's do one more, Let's do all right, this one again. We don't know what this ship is.

Here we go. I'm a proud little mama. Hold on, wait a minute.

I did not expect to hear that. He came in.

You gotta.

That's nuts.

I think we just got a new drop out of you.

Yeah, I'm a proud little mama.

Yeah yeah, start that again from the top. That was crazy way to introduce yourself. Oh, we got shirts proud little Mama. Yes, it's probably mom in front of them.

Yeah.

He didn't just make that up. No, no, no, no, that's what we call our fans, little mama.

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't know about the proud. Now they're doing this thing where they want to. It's like they're calling us little freaky's. It's it's getting fucked up around here. It's a complicated relations Yeah, we're sorry.

We invited you under these difficult circumstances. That's it is. It was all right. Here we go. I'm a proud little mama, and my mama told me as I was growing up it was.

Wrong to jack off to touch myself.

At the end of the thought, hung up.

No, whatever he says, that's gonna be great.

Why is he talking like that. He's excited, he's excited to talk to him. He's talking like doctor king about being told not to jack.

Can you replay him saying my mama told me not that jackaw. Just the way he said it was very.

Yeah, listen to him as.

I was growing up that it was wrong.

To touch myself.

That's a drop.

That is a drops already, they're not good.

So I got dick in the face, crack. See if he's okay, that's better than yeah. So I got dick in the face. If he's okay, the face. So somebody got dick in the face.

Yeah, Dick was the person.

Oh, I'm not sure somebody. Yeah. I think we always took it very literally.

Yeah, never put any thought into in the face. I hope it's okay. That's a great question. You are more reasonable man than that.

There's still dick all over them all right, we're gonna keep playing this this. I pray we make it to the end because this is insane.

Uh and ejaculate growing up at a young male, a young black male. So I wonder why is it so? What about that in the in the black culture is so bad? You understand because it's natural. So maybe you guys should touch on that hilarious, help a little help them, help some lonely black children. Now you understand, all right, you didn't have to say that was crazy.

You got to that end was bad. What happened at the end that such that was crazy, that was not good? Helps some little loan loan that black children out?

What was that?

Yeah?

I don't know if you should answer this now.

I am worried about this fella. I liked him and then I stopped liking them. His mama told him not to jack off and not to ejaculate.

That's crazy.

I mean, you can't one without the other, right, you can, but it's not good for you. Yeah, I don't.

I don't know that I believe it all in like this seemen retention theory that this somehow makes you a stronger, more virile person. That all feels like bamboosom meant to me personally.

But so weird bamboozom, Like, what do they get out of you?

Not Jack, I think.

I think it's a bunch of dudes who can't get theirs most of the time, and they want other people to be where they're at.

Interesting, Yeah, and that's what we need, more frustrated young men.

Yeah, it's a bunch of niggas who can't it's like, hey, y'all join us, Yeah, stronger now. Yeah, I think it's some more y.

Yeah.

Maybe maybe you can't not because you can't get pussy. Maybe you can, and because you take so many drugs that you've sort of like made yourself raw down there and it doesn't.

Move the way. Well, maybe you're just anxious.

Yeah, maybe there's all kinds of anxieties or you know whatever, the cause you don't nut and now you're trying.

To make it my problem. Wow.

Interesting. I always thought it was like fasting, because you know how like if you so without like eating, you aually do get some clarity and I can actually be like, oh, okay, that's true.

So and then it makes the food taste really good.

Days pretty good. That's crazy. Yeah, I mean I feel like he was just kind of like misled a little bit.

Yeah, you know, this certainly is an unfortunate experience you went through, uh, sir, and and I'm sorry it happened.

I never heard that as a black thing either. I've never heard of like black parents telling their kids that I was.

Single mom when I started checking off, and there was no talk about any of that about it. It did not come up one way or the other.

I don't know if she knew, but of course she knew, you know what I mean. I don't know like how actively she knew.

I think they knew everything we were doing. Yeah, because if you look at a kid lying now, it's like, come on, bro, if I looked anything like that, you knew everything.

And you're twelve taking forty five minute showers three times a day.

She knew you were Jack.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think, bro. I don't think my mom got a Victoria's Secret from ninety six to four.

I started with serious when I was in kindergarten. I got a serious.

Yeah.

They had that.

The the bathing suit section worked out pretty good, and they had the lingerie section. Not as sexy as Victoria's Secret, but but you could get yours.

Well, you know what to that dude's point, though, I think you can get jaded to it because with all like the porn and honestly, I think you can just get jaded from actually having sex too much too. But I think that when you think about it like that, like Seris magazine and Victoria's Secret was crazy to jack off to, Like if you tried to do that now, I don't. I would do nothing.

I mean, I like, yeah, trying to add a couple of pages that are really burned in memory.

I can.

I don't think I could do a series. There's series I might struggle with a little bit.

This is quiz kind of wee. I don't know if I could do, like even just pictures. It used to be somewhere I used to do my brain what you mean, thinking and stuff. Yeah yeah, but even that's more active than just staring at a photo, you know. Yeah, that's weird. Actually I would actually rather maybe let me go back. I got to get back to our natural selves. Yeah, I mean you start, you just start easy. You go back to jerking off to a serious catalog.

And if anybody it's serious is listening, and you are, you know, some kind of a brand deal situation. You guys have been struggling lately. We know that, and we can bring you back.

We were willing to do the work to bring serious back.

Crazy pivot crazy being a wild serious pivot. Bro.

This is this is the magazine to jerk off to and taste full suit.

Because you know what, I do think that that jacking off does not lead to feeling bad about yourself the way the internet pornography does.

I agree. Sometimes you jack off with the internet point You're like, what the fuck was that?

You know what I mean?

Like you just like you just got out of a fight. You're like, I didn't even know I had that move. I didn't want to be there.

What prooves? Are you surprising yourself?

Man, don't worry about I don't wry, but that's not what about I.

Don't think I've never did.

Was surprised myself during masturbation, went down a rabbit hole and you were like, how did I even get?

Oh you mean in terms of category?

I don't know.

Turning his head, he said, I didn't know that move. I was like, you started experimenting on himself? Surprise himself?

What was.

Niggas?

Judging his head like, what was that?

What did you learned that you were.

He's just clicking on weird ship.

Yeah, but to that point, if you want to stop feeling bad about yourself after you masturbate.

Come and it's nice because you can work your way up through the catalog, right, you can jerk off to the you start at lingerie, then maybe bikini, and then by the you know, at some point you're jerking off to fucking pant suits.

And now and now you've developed a respect. Now you now you know how to treat it, lady, Because are you jerking off to a pant suit?

Are you jerking off to ambition?

You're you're sitting off to her position in life.

Now you're now you're a powerful Yeah.

Yeah, we're talking about progress here, Sears.

I feel like you might want to do it in reverse. Start with the pants suit, you know what I mean? Undress her. Literally they're different women, but were they different? I feel like I feel as a producer, I would just be like, we're all three of these and I'll use you.

I'm not right, I'm not paying for a separate pantsuit, lady.

Yeah, That's what I'm saying. How much was it think they just gave him a series like where and I'll put it in five pages.

Let's lose the jacket.

But then you got a whole generation of men whose fantasies is like what baby put on the bikini under the pants suit.

We're never going to be great, No, that's true.

We're fundamentally broken, but we could at least we could make some progress here if we jerk off the scental stimulation.

Ye.

Right, at the end of the day, we're making.

We really covered a lot of ground. I think in the forty minutes since this has started, we really we really really.

Kind of went everywhere. It came back to chicken. We're the whole thing.

A few stops where they do good chicken, but we had the whole thing.

I want to say. Chicken was legitimately mentioned like four or five times. Yeah, not even like hey, bringing it, you know, like a running joke.

It was like, good, what if you find out we do that every episode somehow incorporate chicken.

Yeah, Like at the end, we're like, my mama told you, it's been brought to you about.

This chicken counter seventeen chicken seventeen times. It was chickens and chicken.

It's just a great lean protein source. And I'm not even being paid to say that.

It's just it is.

It sounded hello, paid it sounded Yeah, that sounded so paid for. No, I got big chickens, got that great lean protein source.

That's what could you tell the people where they can find you?

What cool shit you got going on?

Yeah? Yeah, I'm Patrick cloud On on mainly everything. I got, uh a lot of stuff dropping on all death. Make sure you check out School Lunch. We actually just did a cloud with McDonald's that went really really well, so please check that out. I also have a gaming channel called Cloudy Arcade that I've been working on, and check out We tripp It.

I just dropped a new travel episode of my travel show in.

Utah, so go check that out. We tripp in Utah.

You go to Zion.

I did Zion was really really cool. I didn't know until the second time I went to Utah that people get out and do stuff.

There's like you drive in and there's like a road you're supposed to take.

But yeah, I would definitely want to come back when it was snowing, but I went in like spring that part.

Of the country.

Man, Just I know that from driving out of it because I'm from Denver driving out of all right. Yeah, in the California, it's like crazy beautiful Utah.

It looks like Mars.

Yeah, yeah, it's wild. I keep going to Salt Lake City and eating at McDonald's.

So I went to Salt Lake City the first time and I was like, Okay, I kind of see what people are talking about. But it's like when you go to something I can only speak for Southern Utah, but that that's where everybody really like falls in love with the Utah Southwestern's aesthetic. I suggest everybody go, Yeah, what you got.

I'll be in Colorado.

Cool guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash David Bori by my special Birth of a Nation April twenty fourth and twenty fifth. I will be at the Dallas Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas. Come out June fifteenth. I'm going to be at Little Field in Brooklyn, New York. I need you to sell it out so I can keep coming back to New York.

Oh yeah, you can follow me at Langston Carman on all social media platforms. You can watch my special. It's called Bad Poetry. It's on Netflix. You can see us live in New Orleans, Oh May.

Eighth through eleven. Yeah, with a Tola Dono street comedy feshional. Yeah, we'll be down there in New Orleans, not doing my mama told me pod, but we will just enjoy probably we might.

You know the show we have we have.

Yeah, we've done two tours so far, served our nation well and uh yeah, we might fuck around and figure out another one at some point. But come see us live and more importantly, send us your own drops, your own conspiracies. If you want to tell us how many more times we could have incorporated chicken, send it all to my Mama pot at gmail dot com and we'd love to hear from you.

We could have done better and we want to know how we can. We want to hear your thoughts.

Also, give us a call at a four to four Little Moms, leave us weird ass voicemails.

We'd like to hear from you.

And and by the merch call your senator a rate review. Subscribe by b Do you have your passport?

Did you get your shots?

Girl?

Would you like to come back with drop to a parvent?

Come My Mama told Me is a production of Will Beryl's Big Money Players Network and iHeart podcast.

Creetd and hosted by Langston Kreukin, co hosted by David Borie. Executive produced by Will Farrell, Hansani and Olivia Aguilon.

Co produced by Bee Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin.

Kopfon, music by Nick Chambers.

Artwork by Dogon Kreega.

You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel

My Momma Told Me

Comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie take a deep dive into the most exciting, groundbreaking a 
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