Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever.

Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever.

So who lives in a pineapple under the sea? That Nigga SpongeBob? There it is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

So who lives in a pineapple under the sea? That Nigga SpongeBob? There it is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

The podcast where we dived deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

The podcast where we dived deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

Theories and we finally work to prove the theories that you the listener have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode. Stay off the damn wedn for this one.

Theories and we finally work to prove the theories that you the listener have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode. Stay off the damn wedn for this one.

Yeah, don't put that green veil over your eyes. Brothers and sisters, Come on now.

Yeah, don't put that green veil over your eyes. Brothers and sisters, Come on now.

I'm I'm Langston Kerman and I'm awake.

I'm I'm Langston Kerman and I'm awake.

I'm David Borie and I'm too awake.

I'm David Borie and I'm too awake.

I ain't never slept.

I ain't never slept.

I was born standing up.

I was born standing up.

My mother's pussy is ruined.

My mother's pussy is ruined.

I came out first like a water slide.

I came out first like a water slide.

What a disgusting It's really because I imagine you said we as you came out, there a celebratory quality to it.

What a disgusting It's really because I imagine you said we as you came out, there a celebratory quality to it.

Hey, Black and Miles was already with we.

Hey, Black and Miles was already with we.

We got an email from a person and I don't know how this person came out of their mother's vagina, but but I do know that they sent a somewhat provocative email to us.

We got an email from a person and I don't know how this person came out of their mother's vagina, but but I do know that they sent a somewhat provocative email to us.

Definitely, definitely.

Definitely, definitely.

And before we get into this, it is worth noting that we also received quite a few emails from people who were rather upset, I'd say at our our takes on OJ, that that OJ and Chloe Kardashian's relationship, their lineage. They they're calling to question whether or not we had the right instinct to say that OJ probably is not Chloe's biological daughter.

And before we get into this, it is worth noting that we also received quite a few emails from people who were rather upset, I'd say at our our takes on OJ, that that OJ and Chloe Kardashian's relationship, their lineage. They they're calling to question whether or not we had the right instinct to say that OJ probably is not Chloe's biological daughter.

And it's who cares you, guys. I don't even remember what was said.

And it's who cares you, guys. I don't even remember what was said.

Yeah, I there there were people saying that that, uh, somebody wrote that that there was a fair amount of evidence that which they don't ever add any of the evidence. They just say there is evidence that they were swingers, that the the Simpson family and the Kardashian family were swingers, and that's how OJ busted his first nut inside of uh, what's her name, Chris, leading.

Yeah, I there there were people saying that that, uh, somebody wrote that that there was a fair amount of evidence that which they don't ever add any of the evidence. They just say there is evidence that they were swingers, that the the Simpson family and the Kardashian family were swingers, and that's how OJ busted his first nut inside of uh, what's her name, Chris, leading.

To what's her name? All right?

To what's her name? All right?

Yeah, I mean I don't know, leading leading to Chloe being the the baby that that happened.

Yeah, I mean I don't know, leading leading to Chloe being the the baby that that happened.

Uh.

Uh.

There were also in the that same message they talk about how Bruce was there, and they do refer to Bruce specifically. They're never acknowledging Caitlyn at any point in this message, But they say that that Bruce was there hanging out. I guess the timeline for them makes perfect sense, that that Caitlyn and and OJ and Chris and Robert were all just mushing into each other, and so Chloe was born.

There were also in the that same message they talk about how Bruce was there, and they do refer to Bruce specifically. They're never acknowledging Caitlyn at any point in this message, But they say that that Bruce was there hanging out. I guess the timeline for them makes perfect sense, that that Caitlyn and and OJ and Chris and Robert were all just mushing into each other, and so Chloe was born.

And to that, I say, yeah, maybe I don't know. I don't know these You don't know these s.

And to that, I say, yeah, maybe I don't know. I don't know these You don't know these s.

Paul C. Blaze, Sure, yeah, I don't.

Paul C. Blaze, Sure, yeah, I don't.

I know OJ was fucking at least.

I know OJ was fucking at least.

Yeah, OJ was fucking. I don't put it past any of them to have had orgies and all kinds of weird sexual escapades together.

Yeah, OJ was fucking. I don't put it past any of them to have had orgies and all kinds of weird sexual escapades together.

I just don't when rich.

I just don't when rich.

I just wish that that anybody who's upset with us would would just send us footage. I'd love to see the Ojai X tape you are so confident exists.

I just wish that that anybody who's upset with us would would just send us footage. I'd love to see the Ojai X tape you are so confident exists.

That would be crazy, because I bet you even if this age, if he dropped, it would probably immediately be the best celebrity sex tape.

That would be crazy, because I bet you even if this age, if he dropped, it would probably immediately be the best celebrity sex tape.

You think.

You think.

So he's so athletic.

So he's so athletic.

Yeah, oh, I feel the exact opposite.

Yeah, oh, I feel the exact opposite.

You think it would be a bad You think it would just be like the whole Cogan one.

You think it would be a bad You think it would just be like the whole Cogan one.

Yeah, I think he has bad knees, and I think that, uh that like he there's a reason that he keeps sort of picking these like goofy ass white women interesting. And I think it's because, like, I can't pleasure I can't pleasure a big, old, thick black lady anymore. I gotta I gotta go with what I know. I gotta go with what's easy.

Yeah, I think he has bad knees, and I think that, uh that like he there's a reason that he keeps sort of picking these like goofy ass white women interesting. And I think it's because, like, I can't pleasure I can't pleasure a big, old, thick black lady anymore. I gotta I gotta go with what I know. I gotta go with what's easy.

They do say a lot of times that it's core that's a self esteem issue. Maybe maybe all right, all right, yeah he ruined it in his playing years.

They do say a lot of times that it's core that's a self esteem issue. Maybe maybe all right, all right, yeah he ruined it in his playing years.

Yeah, his knees are or what took him out of the league, right, Like, if I'm understanding correctly, that was his big downfall.

Yeah, his knees are or what took him out of the league, right, Like, if I'm understanding correctly, that was his big downfall.

I don't know too much about. That's way before both of our times.

I don't know too much about. That's way before both of our times.

Right, Yeah, I wasn't. I I'm not a football fan now I'm definitely not doing my like football history.

Right, Yeah, I wasn't. I I'm not a football fan now I'm definitely not doing my like football history.

Yeah, this is the most I've ever heard you reference, you know, the great.

Yeah, this is the most I've ever heard you reference, you know, the great.

I just know that the motherfucker's knees were bad and people made fun of them all the time in stand up.

I just know that the motherfucker's knees were bad and people made fun of them all the time in stand up.

That is true. A lot of my knowledge of old sports and things come from a comic view. I found out about most of the details of the trial.

That is true. A lot of my knowledge of old sports and things come from a comic view. I found out about most of the details of the trial.

Yeah, listen, everything I know about the Clinton Oh my god that it came from death comedy.

Yeah, listen, everything I know about the Clinton Oh my god that it came from death comedy.

Came from j.

Came from j.

Man.

Man.

I was if I was around it that time, I would have ate though, I come on, I would have had a crazy OJ bit. It would have it would have gone places you didn't. It would have started with Kato Kalin. It would have been nuts. Bro.

I was if I was around it that time, I would have ate though, I come on, I would have had a crazy OJ bit. It would have it would have gone places you didn't. It would have started with Kato Kalin. It would have been nuts. Bro.

I get so mad that that we didn't come up in an era where like, uh, you could just have a signature bit, do you know what I mean?

I get so mad that that we didn't come up in an era where like, uh, you could just have a signature bit, do you know what I mean?

Chucky ducky quack quat, come on.

Chucky ducky quack quat, come on.

Baby, like it would have what There's so many comedians who we just know because they did one joke that everybody was like, yep, that's it.

Baby, like it would have what There's so many comedians who we just know because they did one joke that everybody was like, yep, that's it.

Yeah, just the one give him a movie.

Yeah, just the one give him a movie.

Yeah, And god damn it.

Yeah, And god damn it.

I only know the one Chris Tucker bit.

I only know the one Chris Tucker bit.

Yeah, the give me money man.

Yeah, the give me money man.

Yeah, that's your damn hands up Robin his mom or whatever. I don't know else.

Yeah, that's your damn hands up Robin his mom or whatever. I don't know else.

Yeah, I know that is in the Michael Jackson impression. That is like the other part of that five minutes and.

Yeah, I know that is in the Michael Jackson impression. That is like the other part of that five minutes and.

And that's it, which is another bit that would kill. There's nobody now you can impersonate dancing that would kill is hard. It's just going on stage and doing a Michael Jackson. Come on, man, it got him to a Michael Jackson video.

And that's it, which is another bit that would kill. There's nobody now you can impersonate dancing that would kill is hard. It's just going on stage and doing a Michael Jackson. Come on, man, it got him to a Michael Jackson video.

He did a fucking Michael. He became friends with Michael Jackson because he did a pretty good Michael Jackson exactly.

He did a fucking Michael. He became friends with Michael Jackson because he did a pretty good Michael Jackson exactly.

And meanwhile, we're out here talking about all kinds of people. Chris Brown responses to my dms.

And meanwhile, we're out here talking about all kinds of people. Chris Brown responses to my dms.

Come on, man, to be fair.

Come on, man, to be fair.

The VI's about him being a monster. But that doesn't funk about it.

The VI's about him being a monster. But that doesn't funk about it.

Yeah, we're not we're not advocating for Chris Brown, but we would like him to reply at some point.

Yeah, we're not we're not advocating for Chris Brown, but we would like him to reply at some point.

Some type of an acknowledgment. Do you and then we'll get on because we got to get to this. Did you ever you have a blue check mark? Right? I do.

Some type of an acknowledgment. Do you and then we'll get on because we got to get to this. Did you ever you have a blue check mark? Right? I do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's gonna be an elitist conversation when.

It's gonna be an elitist conversation when.

All you are, you planey's out there. You sit this one out. This is this is for kings only.

All you are, you planey's out there. You sit this one out. This is this is for kings only.

Yeah, turn it down when adults are talking. That's because that's what the blue check boks are.

Yeah, turn it down when adults are talking. That's because that's what the blue check boks are.

Yeah, big old, grown up, big grown ass men and women.

Yeah, big old, grown up, big grown ass men and women.

When you first got the blue check mark, because you've had it.

When you first got the blue check mark, because you've had it.

For a while, right, yeah, a couple of years.

For a while, right, yeah, a couple of years.

Yeah, when you first got it, did you ever try to like slide into a DM that you couldn't have before.

Yeah, when you first got it, did you ever try to like slide into a DM that you couldn't have before.

I did not because I'm married.

I did not because I'm married.

And no no, no no no no no no no not sexual.

And no no, no no no no no no no not sexual.

Oh you mean just can I like pull a conversation? Yeah, that that I previously could not have had. I'm sure I've done that. No, no, no. I think for the most part, people don't really want to talk to you unless you actually have something that you can they can get out of you, or that you can offer them. And it don't matter if that check mark is there. Now, I do think, and this actually makes it hurt more. I do think the blue check mark makes them check it faster.

Oh you mean just can I like pull a conversation? Yeah, that that I previously could not have had. I'm sure I've done that. No, no, no. I think for the most part, people don't really want to talk to you unless you actually have something that you can they can get out of you, or that you can offer them. And it don't matter if that check mark is there. Now, I do think, and this actually makes it hurt more. I do think the blue check mark makes them check it faster.

Yeah, that's what I was banking on. But I was awesome, man, I got.

Yeah, that's what I was banking on. But I was awesome, man, I got.

Sometimes some blue check mark motherfuckers will send me ship and I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I'm listening, and then I'll read him and be like I'm not replying to.

Sometimes some blue check mark motherfuckers will send me ship and I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I'm listening, and then I'll read him and be like I'm not replying to.

No I got. I was all drunk one time, and uh I was. Olivia says, you don't need a blue check walk to talk to Dennis Graham.

No I got. I was all drunk one time, and uh I was. Olivia says, you don't need a blue check walk to talk to Dennis Graham.

Yeah, winky smiley face, she said.

Yeah, winky smiley face, she said.

Afterwards, you just SE's pushed up to your chin in the picture.

Afterwards, you just SE's pushed up to your chin in the picture.

Yeah. Sorry, sorry, Harry. Yeah, you need a peach emoji in your name. Your wife's doing business with Dennis Graham and she ain't coming home tonight.

Yeah. Sorry, sorry, Harry. Yeah, you need a peach emoji in your name. Your wife's doing business with Dennis Graham and she ain't coming home tonight.

Hey, that's a tailors all the time. Anyways, The point is I tried to ask Killer Mike if we could go to the strip club one time.

Hey, that's a tailors all the time. Anyways, The point is I tried to ask Killer Mike if we could go to the strip club one time.

WHOA yeah, and nothing airball air ball fuck.

WHOA yeah, and nothing airball air ball fuck.

And I'm like, bro, I've been confused for you sometimes that nothing.

And I'm like, bro, I've been confused for you sometimes that nothing.

Well, I hope my wish for you is that that something big happens this year that makes him have to revisit that DM. And he he just says yes, he just says absolutely.

Well, I hope my wish for you is that that something big happens this year that makes him have to revisit that DM. And he he just says yes, he just says absolutely.

I want him to have to come to me though. I want him to now have gone because I did something great and now he's DM and me on right, And then he sees it and he's like, oh shit, yeah, why don't we just both invest in the Blue Fame Flame and become like co owners And then you know, we go to A and E and we pitched that reality show and that's kind of our platform going forward.

I want him to have to come to me though. I want him to now have gone because I did something great and now he's DM and me on right, And then he sees it and he's like, oh shit, yeah, why don't we just both invest in the Blue Fame Flame and become like co owners And then you know, we go to A and E and we pitched that reality show and that's kind of our platform going forward.

Oh hell yeah. It's sort of like Ryan Ryan Reynolds and and oh boy friend, it's always Sonny by a soccer team, but that's a strip club.

Oh hell yeah. It's sort of like Ryan Ryan Reynolds and and oh boy friend, it's always Sonny by a soccer team, but that's a strip club.

But we buy a bad one. They're like, this one's got about to get kicked out of the league.

But we buy a bad one. They're like, this one's got about to get kicked out of the league.

Not under my watch.

Not under my watch.

No, like the town needs it, this town, little Rock needs this trip.

No, like the town needs it, this town, little Rock needs this trip.

Yeah yeah yeah. And it's like a really serious documentary about like the recession then the struggle of this community and y'all are saving it through just just pussy popping.

Yeah yeah yeah. And it's like a really serious documentary about like the recession then the struggle of this community and y'all are saving it through just just pussy popping.

Yeah yeah, yeah, and other expansions they had never thought of. Obviously, get a chef of.

Yeah yeah, yeah, and other expansions they had never thought of. Obviously, get a chef of.

Some sort in there, come on wings potatoes, wing guy, best wing guy in Alabama.

Some sort in there, come on wings potatoes, wing guy, best wing guy in Alabama.

Yeah yeah, yeah, but we're like, hey, how much to met you to move to ak you know, yeah, that type of thing.

Yeah yeah, yeah, but we're like, hey, how much to met you to move to ak you know, yeah, that type of thing.

Right, Because the Arkansas wing community has been depleted, they moved elsewhere where the economy is more booming, where the opportunities are greater.

Right, Because the Arkansas wing community has been depleted, they moved elsewhere where the economy is more booming, where the opportunities are greater.

And that was also based on a lot of people don't know that after the chicken wing shortage, there was a great migration of sorts. Mm yeah, yeah, a lot of these wing guys left the South because there just wasn't working, was drying up.

And that was also based on a lot of people don't know that after the chicken wing shortage, there was a great migration of sorts. Mm yeah, yeah, a lot of these wing guys left the South because there just wasn't working, was drying up.

Yeah, there's wings in them their hills and they had this man to go where where the where the wings were plentiful.

Yeah, there's wings in them their hills and they had this man to go where where the where the wings were plentiful.

I'm just a baby, you know what. I mean, give me my pickaxe and my helment. I'm gonna go these wings.

I'm just a baby, you know what. I mean, give me my pickaxe and my helment. I'm gonna go these wings.

Oh man, Well, I was like this, we've never uh, we've never not started this long.

Oh man, Well, I was like this, we've never uh, we've never not started this long.

I feel like this is the length of an episode.

I feel like this is the length of an episode.

Yeah, we've we've talked far past what we should and we haven't read a single moment of this email yet. But that said, we got an email from a person named j Q. JQ sent us an email. They said, what's up, Lengthston and David. I love the pod. I got another conspiracy for you, jqy some week. That means we've we've either read one of your conspiracies or you send them often and we ignore every single one of them. Either way, thank you for sending Yeah Sorr. He said, you may have seen the viral video of the CEO threatening a recession to get people to go back to work. In addition to that, I've also heard the big box corporations like Amazon, Walmart, etc. Are working to build communities quote unquote near their factories slash distribution centers where they will eventually offer their employees quote unquote housing, which is why you see a lot of homes recently bought up by big corporations. This will seem like a good deal to many. However, in this model, individuals won't own anything, and your employer will control your life. This is also connected to the fact that they and we know who they are, haven't tried to fix the educational system because a less educated population means they are at a higher risk of being exploited by said companies. Then they wrote Jerry, So, I guess Jerry is jq's name. I don't know. There's a lot of names happening and this shit.

Yeah, we've we've talked far past what we should and we haven't read a single moment of this email yet. But that said, we got an email from a person named j Q. JQ sent us an email. They said, what's up, Lengthston and David. I love the pod. I got another conspiracy for you, jqy some week. That means we've we've either read one of your conspiracies or you send them often and we ignore every single one of them. Either way, thank you for sending Yeah Sorr. He said, you may have seen the viral video of the CEO threatening a recession to get people to go back to work. In addition to that, I've also heard the big box corporations like Amazon, Walmart, etc. Are working to build communities quote unquote near their factories slash distribution centers where they will eventually offer their employees quote unquote housing, which is why you see a lot of homes recently bought up by big corporations. This will seem like a good deal to many. However, in this model, individuals won't own anything, and your employer will control your life. This is also connected to the fact that they and we know who they are, haven't tried to fix the educational system because a less educated population means they are at a higher risk of being exploited by said companies. Then they wrote Jerry, So, I guess Jerry is jq's name. I don't know. There's a lot of names happening and this shit.

I'd have gone with JQ too.

I'd have gone with JQ too.

Yeah, don't tell people your name is Jerry Man.

Yeah, don't tell people your name is Jerry Man.

It's me, baby, Jerry. You know Jerry. You know me, baby, It's Jerry. Ah. As far as to this conspiracy, yeah, I'm I believe it wholeheartedly. I hate thee As someone who, besides comedy, was always I had a firm separation between work and home life. I never wanting to fucking hang out with these losers. I think that that's a dangerous precedent to allow your company. It feels so close to like when the railroad offered script you know what I mean. It feels like it feels like a very similar system in which Okay, well, now if Walmart owns this whole neighborhood that I live in. I probably shop at a Walmart. And if I shop at a Walmart, yeah I couldn't pay cash, But what if they give me these Walmart Bucks instead? Just be because it's a system. And then it becomes this thing where like you're ultimately reliant on this truly soulless entity, this thing that has operates to no morals to take care of you, and I think it's horrible. Yeah, it's pretty awful, President, It's pretty fucked up shit.

It's me, baby, Jerry. You know Jerry. You know me, baby, It's Jerry. Ah. As far as to this conspiracy, yeah, I'm I believe it wholeheartedly. I hate thee As someone who, besides comedy, was always I had a firm separation between work and home life. I never wanting to fucking hang out with these losers. I think that that's a dangerous precedent to allow your company. It feels so close to like when the railroad offered script you know what I mean. It feels like it feels like a very similar system in which Okay, well, now if Walmart owns this whole neighborhood that I live in. I probably shop at a Walmart. And if I shop at a Walmart, yeah I couldn't pay cash, But what if they give me these Walmart Bucks instead? Just be because it's a system. And then it becomes this thing where like you're ultimately reliant on this truly soulless entity, this thing that has operates to no morals to take care of you, and I think it's horrible. Yeah, it's pretty awful, President, It's pretty fucked up shit.

And it doesn't feel as much like a conspiracy as I think is being presented. This feels largely this is a true thing. Right, these these Amazon and Walmart and all these big companies are trying to sort of build like these worker housing units. And subsequently, to your point, it does mean that they do control your entire life in ways that they are both acknowledging and not acknowledging. Like I recently got a prescription for a medication your boys got psoriasis, and I'm not ashamed of that.

And it doesn't feel as much like a conspiracy as I think is being presented. This feels largely this is a true thing. Right, these these Amazon and Walmart and all these big companies are trying to sort of build like these worker housing units. And subsequently, to your point, it does mean that they do control your entire life in ways that they are both acknowledging and not acknowledging. Like I recently got a prescription for a medication your boys got psoriasis, and I'm not ashamed of that.

Really good?

Really good?

Oh thanks man? Yeah, I have to inject myself every three months.

Oh thanks man? Yeah, I have to inject myself every three months.

No, you, let's just get you asteroid.

No, you, let's just get you asteroid.

Otherwise I turn into a lizard man, all right, But that said, one of the things, like the the the drug itself is insanely expensive, but if you sign up for like these weird like incentives and like build a relationship with this second company kind of thing, you can get the drug for essentially free. Like I don't pay shit for this psoriasis medication. But what I also have to accept in doing that, in building that relationship is anything that they sort of like decide to use with my information and agree to like fucking emails from them, agree to phone calls from them. I have to agree to all kinds of relationships that I didn't fucking want. I just want to be able to inject myself with the medication and move on with my life. And I think this is sort of a more advanced version of that, right that, like, yes, you are potentially getting housing, but how much of your life is consumed by this product, this corporation, this entity.

Otherwise I turn into a lizard man, all right, But that said, one of the things, like the the the drug itself is insanely expensive, but if you sign up for like these weird like incentives and like build a relationship with this second company kind of thing, you can get the drug for essentially free. Like I don't pay shit for this psoriasis medication. But what I also have to accept in doing that, in building that relationship is anything that they sort of like decide to use with my information and agree to like fucking emails from them, agree to phone calls from them. I have to agree to all kinds of relationships that I didn't fucking want. I just want to be able to inject myself with the medication and move on with my life. And I think this is sort of a more advanced version of that, right that, like, yes, you are potentially getting housing, but how much of your life is consumed by this product, this corporation, this entity.

And not only are to me Once again, it's just just so crazy because not only are you moving into housing owned by your company, that also means your entire neighborhood is people who you work with. And if we all remember from trying to get high at work, these dudes are snitching. Yeah, so yeah, I don't want you. I don't want to live next door. What the you don't need to see who comes to my house? None of that shit.

And not only are to me Once again, it's just just so crazy because not only are you moving into housing owned by your company, that also means your entire neighborhood is people who you work with. And if we all remember from trying to get high at work, these dudes are snitching. Yeah, so yeah, I don't want you. I don't want to live next door. What the you don't need to see who comes to my house? None of that shit.

And then I imagine there's gonna be a level of like corporate policing that happens as it, you know what I mean.

And then I imagine there's gonna be a level of like corporate policing that happens as it, you know what I mean.

Like you don't think these dudes are snitching.

Like you don't think these dudes are snitching.

But even worse, who's to say that those corporations don't then get to put cameras in the houses or like fucking in the neighborhood to essentially say that this is a way of ensuring that their employees are following corporate rules.

But even worse, who's to say that those corporations don't then get to put cameras in the houses or like fucking in the neighborhood to essentially say that this is a way of ensuring that their employees are following corporate rules.

Exactly, because now all your extracurriculars are run by the fucking like you know what I mean, if it's a neighborhood. Now the gym, it's not a twenty four hour finish, it's a Walmart gym, because why not? So now they know when you're at the gym and the movie theater and the titty barrowing by David Borrian and Michael whatever his real name is.

Exactly, because now all your extracurriculars are run by the fucking like you know what I mean, if it's a neighborhood. Now the gym, it's not a twenty four hour finish, it's a Walmart gym, because why not? So now they know when you're at the gym and the movie theater and the titty barrowing by David Borrian and Michael whatever his real name is.

I think it's still killer. I think it's Michael Killer.

I think it's still killer. I think it's Michael Killer.

Michael Killer. But like but no, I mean, it just becomes a thing of like how much do you want to let them in? And I do die on that hill where I'm not trying to do any of that. I reject all cookies.

Michael Killer. But like but no, I mean, it just becomes a thing of like how much do you want to let them in? And I do die on that hill where I'm not trying to do any of that. I reject all cookies.

I like that.

I like that.

Yeah, I reject all cookies. I don't. I don't care how good the amateur video that brought me to the website looks.

Yeah, I reject all cookies. I don't. I don't care how good the amateur video that brought me to the website looks.

I guess I'm beating off to that preview. Make it all the way through the video, y'all, yeah, over.

I guess I'm beating off to that preview. Make it all the way through the video, y'all, yeah, over.

Your mouth over it it starts to play.

Your mouth over it it starts to play.

Yeah, it's it's a very scary idea, I would I think especially scary is I'm not exactly sure what can be done about it, right, Like these corporations are not getting smaller despite our awareness of sort of the fuck ship that they're trying to pull.

Yeah, it's it's a very scary idea, I would I think especially scary is I'm not exactly sure what can be done about it, right, Like these corporations are not getting smaller despite our awareness of sort of the fuck ship that they're trying to pull.

I think it's up to individuals too. It's just like we gotta chill. I hate that at the end it gets all preat cheap. But it's like it's up to individuals and we gotta stop stop personalizing all these corporations that are only doing things to just advertise for us, you know what I mean, Like we people have personal relationships. You will hear people say I love Blencioga.

I think it's up to individuals too. It's just like we gotta chill. I hate that at the end it gets all preat cheap. But it's like it's up to individuals and we gotta stop stop personalizing all these corporations that are only doing things to just advertise for us, you know what I mean, Like we people have personal relationships. You will hear people say I love Blencioga.

Why what do they do for you?

Why what do they do for you?

If nothing ever, nor will they ever. Don't like so to love these things and have these loyalties or like corporations, you know what I mean. I love working for Nike or whatever. That shit's like it becomes it's it's insidious, you know what I mean, And it's it feels like it's it's like getting bigger and bigger.

If nothing ever, nor will they ever. Don't like so to love these things and have these loyalties or like corporations, you know what I mean. I love working for Nike or whatever. That shit's like it becomes it's it's insidious, you know what I mean, And it's it feels like it's it's like getting bigger and bigger.

Yeah, And we talked about this briefly before the podcast started that in reading this email, it doesn't not remind me a little bit of like what we talked about or are experiencing. As it relates to the WGA strike and the SAG strike. There was that article that went viral where this unnamed studio executive essentially said their plan was to let writers starve. That like they would ride this thing out until writers lost their homes, starved whatever it's to get them back to work. And what ended up becoming sort of revealed inside of like the months and months of waiting was that some of that was just propaganda. It was just a corporation being like, Yo, if we threaten to let them starve, we can convince them to get back to work faster, or we can get them off of this sort of train of self advocacy, and a lot of it is that, right, Like, it's not that they wouldn't let us starve, but it is just sort of big, powerful people throwing their weight around and trying to scare us into making choices that are worse for our lives than we actually deserve. And it is our responsibility, I think, to your point, to be able to stand our ground and say, like, yo, as bad as I need housing, as bad as I need, you know, resources, I can't give my entire life over to a corporation that does not give a fuck about me.

Yeah, And we talked about this briefly before the podcast started that in reading this email, it doesn't not remind me a little bit of like what we talked about or are experiencing. As it relates to the WGA strike and the SAG strike. There was that article that went viral where this unnamed studio executive essentially said their plan was to let writers starve. That like they would ride this thing out until writers lost their homes, starved whatever it's to get them back to work. And what ended up becoming sort of revealed inside of like the months and months of waiting was that some of that was just propaganda. It was just a corporation being like, Yo, if we threaten to let them starve, we can convince them to get back to work faster, or we can get them off of this sort of train of self advocacy, and a lot of it is that, right, Like, it's not that they wouldn't let us starve, but it is just sort of big, powerful people throwing their weight around and trying to scare us into making choices that are worse for our lives than we actually deserve. And it is our responsibility, I think, to your point, to be able to stand our ground and say, like, yo, as bad as I need housing, as bad as I need, you know, resources, I can't give my entire life over to a corporation that does not give a fuck about me.

Yep. If a corporation is offering you something or help, offering some help to you, it's always in your worst interest. They are never helping. It's never good. It's never it's never like OK. And if they're making some shit easier, it's for sure not good.

Yep. If a corporation is offering you something or help, offering some help to you, it's always in your worst interest. They are never helping. It's never good. It's never it's never like OK. And if they're making some shit easier, it's for sure not good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you just got it, like you gotta have that in your head, you know what I mean.

And you just got it, like you gotta have that in your head, you know what I mean.

Listen, I don't care if it's I don't care if it's June Skittles. Don't give a fuck about your gay ass, exactly. I know they say they do.

Listen, I don't care if it's I don't care if it's June Skittles. Don't give a fuck about your gay ass, exactly. I know they say they do.

There's the rainbow. They didn't market research to get to.

There's the rainbow. They didn't market research to get to.

That they don't care about you, and it's great that, you know. Sometimes they change the colors and we can all enjoy a different flavor skittle. But come on right.

That they don't care about you, and it's great that, you know. Sometimes they change the colors and we can all enjoy a different flavor skittle. But come on right.

Except for Tuesday. For Tuesdays down at the Blue Flame Strip Club in Atlanta, Georgia, Blue Flame, we'll keep the light on for you.

Except for Tuesday. For Tuesdays down at the Blue Flame Strip Club in Atlanta, Georgia, Blue Flame, we'll keep the light on for you.

I like that you just steal a different corporations tagline.

I like that you just steal a different corporations tagline.

You're like, fuck it, Yeah, that's what I said. I find no flag, I have no masters.

You're like, fuck it, Yeah, that's what I said. I find no flag, I have no masters.

Well, Jerry JQ, whatever you prefer to be called, I pray to God it's not Jerry. But but I hope that this sort of answers your question, your conspiracy. We don't trust corporations, and this sounds very much like some evil shit that Daddy Bezos and the bad boys at Walmart would cook up. I know, I don't have anything else you did, okayhud fuck it. You want to tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

Well, Jerry JQ, whatever you prefer to be called, I pray to God it's not Jerry. But but I hope that this sort of answers your question, your conspiracy. We don't trust corporations, and this sounds very much like some evil shit that Daddy Bezos and the bad boys at Walmart would cook up. I know, I don't have anything else you did, okayhud fuck it. You want to tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

Yeah, come on out to see me. Instagram Cool guy jokes eighty seven. My tour dates are at Bring David Aplate dot com. Got like another month or so on tour. We're doing all the fun cities. So I still am going to be at this Friday. I'm going to be in Indianapolis at the White Rabbit Cabaret Saturday. I'm going to be in Cincinnati Sunday. I'm going to be in Morgantown, West Virginia next Thursday. I'm going to be in Columbus, Ohio, Friday, October sixth, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvaniatober seventh, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, October twelfth, Springfield, Missouri, October thirteenth, Saint Louis, Missouri, October twenty first, New York City October twenty second, Damn Worcestern, Massachusetts. October twenty fifth, Kansas City, Missouri, October twenty sixth, Who Falls, South Dakota in October twenty seventh and twenty eighth, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Come out my hours going crazy. I'm writing a new a lot of new shit, and come out so you can see that I'm good and buy some clothes because afterwards, ultimately no one will care that that was long. That was a long one.

Yeah, come on out to see me. Instagram Cool guy jokes eighty seven. My tour dates are at Bring David Aplate dot com. Got like another month or so on tour. We're doing all the fun cities. So I still am going to be at this Friday. I'm going to be in Indianapolis at the White Rabbit Cabaret Saturday. I'm going to be in Cincinnati Sunday. I'm going to be in Morgantown, West Virginia next Thursday. I'm going to be in Columbus, Ohio, Friday, October sixth, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvaniatober seventh, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, October twelfth, Springfield, Missouri, October thirteenth, Saint Louis, Missouri, October twenty first, New York City October twenty second, Damn Worcestern, Massachusetts. October twenty fifth, Kansas City, Missouri, October twenty sixth, Who Falls, South Dakota in October twenty seventh and twenty eighth, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Come out my hours going crazy. I'm writing a new a lot of new shit, and come out so you can see that I'm good and buy some clothes because afterwards, ultimately no one will care that that was long. That was a long one.

Look, man, you're gonna have to rest after this because that's a lot of fucking places you gotta be.

Look, man, you're gonna have to rest after this because that's a lot of fucking places you gotta be.

Oh yeah, we already did that other tour.

Oh yeah, we already did that other tour.

I don't sleep no more, damn well. I have substantially less dates to tell you about, but you can find me at Langston Kerman on Instagram. I would love for you to follow me there. And if you live in New Westminster, British Columbia, that's Canada, bitch, come on out October thirteenth and fourteenth to the House of Comedy. If you are in Wilmington, North Carolina, I'd love to see you October twentieth and twenty first at the Dead Crow Comedy Room, Burlington, Vermont. I'll be at Vermont Comedy Club November tenth and eleventh, and then finally November seventeenth and eighteenth, I'll be at Hyenas Comedy Nightclub in Dallas, Texas. I look forward to fucking around with all of y'all out there, And as always, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracies. If you want to advocate for the corporations that we have been shitting on on this podcast, you can send it all to Mymama pod at gmail dot com. We probably won't listen to your advocacy, but boy would be funny if you go. Hey, actually I think that Walmart is night and you're why Bill Inciaga save my father from his cancer. So there, Send it all to my mama pot at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, and and follow us on YouTube, subscribe, do the whole thing. We haven't said that in a while, largely, I think because we're both anxious about reaching a certain subscription number and fucking having to learn to do nunchucks and and harmonica. But follow and subscribe on YouTube, and that's that's the whole shebang. Bye, bitch, motherfucking mini Yoursel.

I don't sleep no more, damn well. I have substantially less dates to tell you about, but you can find me at Langston Kerman on Instagram. I would love for you to follow me there. And if you live in New Westminster, British Columbia, that's Canada, bitch, come on out October thirteenth and fourteenth to the House of Comedy. If you are in Wilmington, North Carolina, I'd love to see you October twentieth and twenty first at the Dead Crow Comedy Room, Burlington, Vermont. I'll be at Vermont Comedy Club November tenth and eleventh, and then finally November seventeenth and eighteenth, I'll be at Hyenas Comedy Nightclub in Dallas, Texas. I look forward to fucking around with all of y'all out there, And as always, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracies. If you want to advocate for the corporations that we have been shitting on on this podcast, you can send it all to Mymama pod at gmail dot com. We probably won't listen to your advocacy, but boy would be funny if you go. Hey, actually I think that Walmart is night and you're why Bill Inciaga save my father from his cancer. So there, Send it all to my mama pot at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, and and follow us on YouTube, subscribe, do the whole thing. We haven't said that in a while, largely, I think because we're both anxious about reaching a certain subscription number and fucking having to learn to do nunchucks and and harmonica. But follow and subscribe on YouTube, and that's that's the whole shebang. Bye, bitch, motherfucking mini Yoursel.

Mini episode, motherfucking Mini Yoursel. Motherfucking Mini Yourself Mini Episode, motherfucking Mini ever Sel

Mini episode, motherfucking Mini Yoursel. Motherfucking Mini Yourself Mini Episode, motherfucking Mini ever Sel