Yeah. I mean they also made blood pudding like the British, and they're they're tastes and stuff. Yeah, now they do weird stuff man. Yeah, I'm not especially to have been in charge, do you know what I mean? Like they like you suck? How are you running it? That's yeah, y'all eat like the slaves, and that don't make sense. Like black people are truth, you're not black people had had to take the scraps. Why are you choosing the fucking scraps? You started out with blood sausage. Yeah, it's it's fucking weird, man. Come on, you could just the regular, not bloody sausages. Chips in your hands. Man's racist as money actually stuff I can't tell me. Give you me a good home rep. Yeah, we're back, but that's a perfect way to come back. We're back here for part two of My mama told me. It's holiday special extravaganza. Extravaganza. There's there's goddamn streamers strong all around us, and I don't know what you do. Yeah, bring us some figgy pudding. Bit of figgy pudding? Have you had figgy pudding? No? I don't know what it is. I don't either. Context of that song. I'm not gonna lie. It sounds pretty good. It sounds like some shing I would brown. I like banana pudding, and I like Fick Newton's. So if it's anywhere like some kind of weird mixed breed of that, I would work with this. That would be crazy. That would be crazy, right, Yeah, what if? What if? The reason we've never had figgy pudding is because it's so good that they had to, like truly like wipe it off the map. They had it out. Yeah, they were like, this is out of control, delicious, and it's making it's tearing families apart. Types. That's interesting because not a lot of foods die like that. Right, No, but I bet just died. I bet. We don't know why, you know. For a reason Olivia is saying figgy pudding is a pudding in the British sense of the word, which means it is a steamed cake like dessert. Wait it's a cake. Yeah, it sounds they're so dumb about food, can we man? The British need to kill yourself stop eating food? Maybe because you're bad at it? Oh beans for breakfast, I'll kill you. We're getting more information here. This particular Christmas version is traditionally made with sweat. Sweat which is raw beef or mutton fat, eggs, brown sugar, breadcrumbs, spices, dried fruits, and last, but certainly not least, brandy. British had bad taste and food is what Olivia, I don't know when you say all those things together, I'm not mad at it again. I was. I didn't like the raw beef or mutton fat, and then I started liking it as we went along, which we know for a fact is a sponsor of the episode. Thank you. That's that's that's that's from. We are brought to you by the Ark and the Jerk Juice. I don't know where you're from, Ernest and Jamal. I think you come from the Ernestine. You stayed with the Jamal Jal. But no, I'm gonna kick us off a little more into some of this research. But I think we should also open this up. You talked about this over the break that that we should probably open this conversation up to a lot of holiday traditions that sort of deal in I think just race and community and people's behaviors, if you will. Yeah, I like that because racially people are weird on Christmas? Like there's all kinds of right. Yeah, a lot of people are doing some odd ship in in celebration of a thing that we feel like it is a little more standardized than they're treating it. Yeah. I don't even know of uniform what is? Okay? Wait, anyway, I want to know do you have information on did he die around Christmas? So when he died? He died on December six? That was the original sort of like death day today. Yeah, he died, he died today. That's a wow, that's beautiful. Here we are recording December six, and this is the day St. Nicholas died. Yeah, then why don't you drop something from my man St. Nicholas to let him? Yeah? I would do better than that, but that was pretty good. Let's see what else happens. Okay, okay, now give us no you can do better. I can't do better than that. All right, this goes out to you. St. Nicholas. Sound me close? How did you say it? Uh? Center clouds? See if their clouds. Something's trying to smell your dick and having dog one time for for center clouds. Okay, So wait, so when all these Dutch people had this party that was December six. Yeah, they were going out in parties December six every time. And then in eighteen o nine, this dude Washington Irving basically helped to popularize center clouds stories. No, although you're what you're thinking of is is my boy Clement Clark Moore who wrote to us the night before Christmas in eighteen twenty two, which ultimately ends up giving us the current iteration of Santa Claus, the chubby, sort of jolly fat riding around on reindeer, climbing up chimneys, Santa Claus. But but this dude Washington Irvin eight No. Nine basically starts describing Center Clause. But he's describing him originally as like a rascal with a blue cornered, three cornered hat, red waistcoat and yellow stockings. See I like that a little better. I don't know why, but it sounds like, yeah, he's tacky. He's got my three cornered hat on. I can't tell me I'm not a two cornered hat bitch said something. I'm sorry that my man's a rascal. He's sticking, he's sticking thumbs up people's butts, yellow tights on you didn't tell me ship. What's he gonna do about it? Motherfucker? He ain't Nicholas too. I can't remember the name already. Center center clous center clouds. Yeah, you're you're sucking up again. I'm sure my holiday too. So so what was he doing when he was a rascal? I like that better. So I don't I there weren't really like super specific about the rascal of it all. But it just doesn't sound like a dude who's like walking around as much like giving away gifts as he is like a little more elfish, if that makes sense. See that's fun. I would rather be like Christmas time pranks, Yeah, the twelve Pranks of Christmas or something. You know, it's we're in the writer's room. But yeah, he puts like a he like gives you a wet willie and then afterwards he's like, I got you something. No, I love cool guy. Come on, give me a kiss, Come on it maybe on this hat. He shows up with the hat around his waist and he's like, oh, the hats down here, now go ahead and kiss around it. Yeah, so he was more of a fun guy with a blue hat before before old Clement Clark Moore gets involved, which was the Night Before Christmas, which is the poem that tells us that he's this big, fat dude and before then he's like a Turkish silly billy. He also introduced like the reindeer and stuff too. Right, Yeah, he introduced the reindeer. He introduced the chimney climbing all that stuff. That was a big shot, like from a man, like you know, it really was. And and frankly, it feels like almost like how Dracula is is now our depiction of vampires in a way, you know what I mean, where it's like definitely. One dude was like, yeah, they all got those Eddie Munster haircuts, and yeah, we're all shoulder pads and the high collar and yeah, like oh that's what they look like. Yo. Does he get his credit for inventing Santa? I don't think so. I've never shouted him out. I never heard. I've never been one time for my boy old On we could do it, though, give give shout out my boy one time for my boy Clement Clark more from twas the Night before Christmas. We love you, hell yeah, we we honor you on this day St. Nicholas's death day as well, because you you made him look less Asian than he was before you took and somehow made him fat, which I don't think there was as many fat guys back then. So that was a defining trait. Yeah, you went out of your way to be like this dude eats like a motherfucker, and then gave him and then gave him rain d which aren't indigenous to the United States. Nah was it? Was it an American guy who wrote that, I believe so. Yeah, so he was that's the real crazy. Well, remember Santa I think he Santa lived in the North Pole, so he imagined what the North Pole animals would be, which was oh wait, he already lived in the North Pole when he was like when he was a Turkish rascal. I think by the time that my boy Clement gets involved, he is a North Pole resident. Oh that's not I think Clement it may have in fact, been one of the people that introduced that concept. That's that's what all of this is. It's like Clement really shaped all of what we now understand to be Santa Claus lore. Okay, that makes sense, I can, okay, Okay. So he took a lot of big swings and and made made some hits. He really no, it's not a black man at all. He In fact, I looked him up and I've never seen a whier man before in my life. Truly look like somebody tried to draw Thomas Jefferson by heart, you know what I mean. It then becomes even more popular because store start to advertise Christmas shopping in eighteen twenty. By the eighteen forties, newspapers were creating separate sections for holiday advertisements, which often featured images of the newly popular Santa Clause of the of Clement's version of Santa Claus. So this went completely It's just propaganda. It's commercialism, Doug. That's all it is. Was just the mall being like, hey, we gotta get people to to have a reason to buy more stuff. See now, I don't want them to be part of the year. I don't want them to be black. I don't want them to be a tool of capitalism like that. That and that, honestly, was big takeaway from all of this was I kept thinking, stop telling little kids that Santa is black. What you need to tell them is that Santa is a white devil trying to trick niggas into buying stuff. Do you know what I mean? This is, this is capital complain nothing about Come on, we we don't need black Santa. We that's the white man's evil at work right there. And they can keep that nasty pudding for themselves. Yeah. I bet, I bet Figgy putting a ship. But I can't believe we even gave you the time of day we were. We were teasing you. Put that in the mouth of a king. You can kiss my three cornered hat he put in is for peasants as far I want, I want, I want salmon. I was a good Yeah, so fun Santa. This is why this beat. It should sounds like Balentine's Day. So it got me thinking about basically because this continues. Right in eighteen forty one, thousands of children get invited to this Philadelphia's shop to see a life size Santa Claus model, and it was basically then put in the newspapers and became this very popular thing for people trying to bring big crowds to their stores and ship to bring in their own Santa Clauses and life size models and ship. And then in eighteen ninety the Salvation Army starts dressing up homeless people as Santa Claus and getting them to solicit for for money so that they could basically provide for more homeless people. That even a complicated rollout. Yeah, they're like, we can't find anybody to play Santa Claus. They're like, I know some guys. And then for a while children just think Santa Claus like smells like p and is mentally ill. That's not a great people are mentally. Maybe back then it was different. Yeah, maybe homeless people are just one one big hit away from from getting off them straights. Do you give to the Santa Claus on the street? Do you ever give more because of Christmas? I don't think I have. I think I give to specific I don't give to any now I'm joking. If I give, I try to give to specific individuals. I feel like the often an organization is involved, the less that money is able to stretch towards the people it's meant to stretch too, especially now via go fund me, Like you do have to have your like what's about you when you're on there, but you get it's like a lot easier to just like fix one person's Christmas. Then, Yeah, and I try I I try to live under the rule that like, if somebody's asking and you have it, give it and don't think whites about like the story or what they're gonna do with none of that ship really matters. And like, frankly, I wasn't gonna do great ship within anyway, and so like, if I got it, you can have it, and I don't give a fuck. But once you start adding corporate ties to it, it starts to feel like, Okay, well you're paying somebody's salary and maybe people get pennies out of this and ship. You heard it here first, folks, Langston Kerman hates charity. I hate charity, and specifically the Salvation Army. Suck my dick. I don't salute your troops, not for one I I'm with you. But so they they're dressing up homeless people as or rather they're saying unemployed men, uh, Santa Claus, and then sending them into the streets of New York to solicit donations. And so the popularity grows and grows and grows until suddenly we are now putting Santa Claus on Coca Cola bottles and ship. So this is anything born of this kind of is bad. I'm not for it. Do more against Santa Claus than I was when we started this. You should be he truly is just a scam being run on us by rich people. Damn. Now where it gets fascinating, and I think this is some of what what we were excited to talk about in terms of other holiday traditions. As I did start looking up other sort of like depictions of Santa Claus or at Santa Claus like figure across the world. Yeah, there's some fun ones. So in in Germany, in Switzerland there's a dude named Chris Kind. Chris Kind was an angel like figure, often accompanying St. Nicholas on his holiday missions to deliver presents to well behaved children. So the Swiss and Germans all believe in this Chris Kind angel sort of like backup singer that that rides with St. Nicholas to go do the rest of this ship. I don't know if I'm gonna have a deity. I don't want him to be the B team. Yeah, that's real. I don't understand why an angel is sort of like playing back up to Yeah. Also, don't you go God you to be doing? Yeah, you're you're a real unfocused angel, and I think I think God's gonna smite the when when he finds out with both hands. Chris kind of bad at this. So then in Scandinavia, a jolly elf named jul Tompton delivers gifts in a slave drawn by goats. He's he's got goats flying him through the air. I guess that is good too. The goats not like a majestic beast now and and frankly not a focus to one either. It doesn't know. Yeah, they're gonna stop for breaks and ship ships all over the place. It feels like a lot of kids are gonna end up without gifts. If his playing, what else do we go? So then in Italy there's a woman called La Befana who's supposed to be a kindly witch who rides a broomstick down the chimneys to deliver toys into stockings of lucky children. La Befana and she she gets it too. Lucky children almost like that better? Oh that just get it? Yeah, I almost like take the morality out of it. It's a crap shoot. I'm playing dice, playing dice with these presents. It doesn't matter if I'm bad or good. I'm truly just praying it ain't snake guys exactly, because that one's easier on the parents. Do you have a broke year? You guys weren't lucky this year? Damn sucks. Damn. But we're gonna keep working on it. We'll write some letters and say, yeah, you know, maybe you'll get the next time. Yeah, she might come. There's also Pierre Noel is French, and he puts stuff in kids shoes that that's his strategy. I guess it's like small little trinkets and and hummus is I don't know what he's putting in shoes like that? Yeah, I don't. I don't get what his plan is there, but he puts it in the shoes. And then we get to my personal favor and now I imagine yours as well, which is which is my boy black Peter? That's just a guy I know. Oh is this the reason they wear a black face every year? Yeah? Yeah, Now now we're getting to the front stuff. This is specifically a a Dutch navy weird No, I think it's like Netherlands type thing. Yeah. Netherlands, that's where children are taught to believe that they received their presence from St. Nicholas, who is accompanied by a black servant called Black Peter. Adults will often dress up as St. Nicholas and Black Peter, a white person painted in black face, and visit children and adults to uh. St Nicholas arrives from Spain in November by boat in Holland together with his black servants. So in Spain specifically, they're like, yeah, he comes by boat and he has a bunch of slaves with him, And then in the Netherlands they're like, yeah, it's just one real popular black slave. But he's straight up with like, is there any history? He's just a slave. Yeah, he's just a slave. I looked it up. It's not they're not. Uh. He's not like a magical slave that does magical thing. This is a nigga with a job. Guys just like, well, here was my here's my big takeaway. And I don't know how this is gonna sit with sit with you in this but Black Peter and I I felt this way. I read all about him, and I felt like there's an argument to be made that Holland is the only place being completely honest about what Santa Claus actually is. No a slave holder. Oh yes, you know what I mean, Like the same way that that that there's no way to make a billion dollars without like intentionally exploiting a workforce and a a massive amount of people. There's no way to make toys for children all around the world without similarly exploiting a work group, you know what I mean. Yeah, I mean this is this is darker than just telling your kids there's no Santa clause. Yeah, you do better telling him that he's not real, not a yeah, not a Michael Fastbender type character, you know what I mean, not a fucking monster. It sounds like the Lost Lost People, right, there's no there's no there's no place he came from. Pete doesn't know his origins. Yeah, Black Peter, he ain't. He ain't got nothing. There's no history there. They didn't even give him a last name. He just lives in a license servitude to St. Nicholas. Yeah, he just rides around with St. Nicholas, handing out gifts that that he doesn't really get credit for. It sounds like so I think if there's anything to learn from this episode is that the Dutch of monsters. Yeah. I but again, I think there's a point to be made that that maybe they're just being honest, right because you just said you want to let a kid be a kid. You know what he's not doing that tell him about slaves. Yeah, but if you but at least in this way, they get a moment of just being like, oh, black Peter, he's he's like a happy slave. The same way that like, I don't think that's good. He was racially gonna be like, thank god, my parents gave me a leg up by telling me about black Peter. I just think that it's a chance to get at least get your kids defending themselves from the evils of this world faster by being by being straight up honest. Santa Claus can't exist without slavery. And we live in America, we don't, or in Holland we white slaves. Are you out of your mind? You think we're gonna they we're gonna enslave white people. That's that's more fantastical than a man that delivers gives to every child, enslaving white nose. So we enslaved the black and his name is Peter. I love this. I don't love that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not promoting. It feels of all the you you were pulling that ship to the lucky Italian, which because she's not being honest. Why is why are they lucky? Is this truly a lottery? Or are they getting preferential treatment because they live in the neighborhood with the guy who pulls the cards? Oh? Man, this is this is I don't I don't listen. I want you guys to know I'm not for black Pete. I don't like I'm not for black Pete. Nor am I four mountain dude, Nor am I four a lot of the things that you keep accusing me of. I am merely saying that in a world where these things, we need to acknowledge their effectiveness. Oh man, I think you just wrote a manifesto. Yo. I think there are lessons to be learned from a black Pete. Do you know what I'm saying? American? I gotta say I think that I'm I started this off. Black Peat makes me pro white Santa. Whoa black Peat makes me like, just give him the white fucking Santa? Then God damn it. But see, I think that that's what I think, that's that's making a mistake, because it's why do you want to put slavery in Christmas? It's in so many other things, because you're already telling me it's in Christmas. Before you learned or we talked about any of this black peat shit, you said that Santa had slaves. He has the fucking nails, And so America's just lying to us and going, look at these cute, little white, almost not human critters that are are Santa's quote unquote happy, pleasant workforce. And instead in Holland, they're like, look at that sad niggo over there having to help him delivering. Look at him deal with whatever the funk that is. And you now do do I think they've interpreted it right? No? I do not, But I do think at its core they're at least giving an honest lesson about what this day is. You gotta be you gotta be true to yourself. Man. I don't know. Man, this seems like a lot for children. I'm not saying, listen again, my daughter will not be raised. I want to be clear, Sad, we don't have a black pete on the top of our Christmas tree. You got Michael Jordan's eyes drop dropping off of hot wheels and getting back in his fucking Volkswagen Jetta. No, damn man, that's that's the worst Christmas ever. We're not gonna be promoting black Pete in this house. My daughter will not be raised knowing Black Pete as an option. But what I will say is that if you are a Dutch person who has lived under Black Pete's unfortunate rain for as long as as you have, it's fucked up. It's evil. Shame on you. But also kind of honest. I mean the term is brutal honesty. Right, Yeah, I'm not four black pets too. I feel like I honestly, you're like, you're like, this is all it's all made up. It's all made up Christmas, It's all made up. So now you want to choose honestly when it comes to putting racism and for slaves in there. Yeah, I don't want any children, Yeah, I don't want any black kids to be like that was like my uncle. Well yeah, well I don't think that. I think and again the effect of this, I think that's why you put a black a white man in black face so that it doesn't look like anybody's uncle. It surely is just a a non a non non comparable fucking little character cut Sure, how do you say that word? I can't put my finger on it, but my heart knows this as evil. Yeah, those you're speaking right now, But I'm saying it's evil. I I acknowledge it's evil. I'm just saying evil and honesty are not always fully separate into these That's that's fair. That's fair. That well. I I did also look up. I know you clearly you don't funk with it, and you sort of acknowledge a bunch of this already. I didn't want to look up if there are any Santa Clause traditions in primarily African countries or Black countries, And it doesn't seem like there is at all. Like it doesn't seem like a lot of Africans especially funk with Santa Claus at all. Now, I will say, y'all got Christmas because colonization and all the ship like you you're not exempt from Christmas. But you don't. Y'all just like go to church and get dinner and ship. It seems like a pretty reasonable day. I have all this magic call and breaking and entering in your house bringing the black slave along. Good Christmas, be happy for Jesus get a couple of presents were out. Yeah, be happy. Hey Jesus, you made it. That's very appreciate. You didn't live very long, but but you did. You did get here, and that's cool, and you live very long. You also had like thirteen missing years or something, right, Yeah, you know you did some funked up ship that Uh that old Joseph and Mary had to get wiped off the record, you know what I mean? Yeah, you have to get fresh. Prince of bel Aired for a minute, come right, he had one little fight and your mom got scared. And that story is probably a little deeper than you've made it seem. Uh you know what I mean. Well, I think a little more happened that day than just a ball bounced off a man's head and suddenly you had to move to bel Air. Let's be honest. You had you had a history with that gentleman. I think you killed the guy. So yeah, I I don't think that, uh that that Many African countries seem to give a funk about Santa Claus. In particular, it seems like there is a a already sort of like pre cooked awareness that this is just consumerism at it's at at play here that that Santa Claus don't got nothing to do with that. It developed completely out side of that part of the world. Right, I want to know what South Americans are doing. Oh, I don't actually know. I don't think they funk with that ship either. Oh, I feel like that's tough. Yeah, tell me where. I've never known South Americans or even Mexican I never really know. As far as in my life, I've never really known them. It seems like the funk with that ship either. Yeah, Olivia is typing noche Buena, which is the good Yeah, if I'm not mistaken, But that are you suggesting that, Oh, it's celebrating more Christmas Eve than it is even Christmas Days. But there's no like there's no like man who comes to your home. There's no like Mexican Santa Claus. I guess it's the big question. See, I didn't think so I didn't, That's what I'm telling So that means so then you look at the world as a whole, right, South America, Central America doesn't with it, Africa doesn't funk with it, The Middle East doesn't funk with it. Asia, as far as I understand, it's not funk with it. I guess Turkey Eurasia. So this is a purely European sentiment. Yeah, and and Turkey doesn't really funk with it. They did funk with it, and then it got washed into some other people's ship and now they're like, man, whatever. So that means this is just like a figment of the Dutch imagination. Yeah, no, it's white. It's white trickery at its moment, its finest. This is at the highest level. Nobody else gives a funk about that ship. Man. I'm back off, I'm back off. I'm back off. Santa Claus sounds like you're back on the black Peat train. Let's go. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no do oh. Yeah, I don't want nothing to do with it. I knew that I didn't like this. I knew this coming in. I didn't like this. Well, I think we solved it. I do. I do think we we nailed this episode at it's cored. Sounds like Santa Clauses is truly just some made up white people's ship to mostly trick us into spending more money than we have. I think we did it. I feel so Black people stop to stop buying into a black Santa. That's just a long con to make you personally invested in your own your own destruction. And white people, keep up the good work. You're nailing it. We're we're all really proud of you, and you have nothing to regret. Surely, surely white Jesus will celebrate you and kiss you on your forehead when you make it up to a white heaven. Wait, tell everybody where they can find you, like the logical closing, you can find me a cool guy jokes eighties seven on Instagram. I post all this stuff I'm doing there, and you know, just keep coming out to see me. I really appreciate it. It's nice to see you in prison. And uh, you know, black Pete, black Pete funk the institution that's fawn. Black Pete, black pet is just a man working hard, and I don't want to be against it. All right, Well, you can follow me at Langston kermanow dot black Pete. Do you even follow me on like on all platforms? Gee, Lonny, stay out of my goddamn emails. And as always, if you want to send us your drops, your conspiracy theories, your suggestions of what we should do with Black Pete in Santa Claus and personally, I do believe that I bories against it, but I believe that Black Pete deserves sex too, So I'm not sure what what happened where He's like Black Pete should go sexless and id and save for the rest of his life. But if you want to fund Black Pete, please is that. But if you want to send us your conspiracy, send them to my Mama pot at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, and happy holidays. Bye bitch, Black pe We're back. You thought we were gone, but we're back, bitch, and we've got something exciting to tell you, very exciting stuff to to let you know about. Big news. First big news on the table starting December, right December. We're on YouTube. You asked for it, you animals, and we're giving it to you. You filthy pigs, You filth fucking pigs. Full episodes of my Mama told Me streaming on YouTube. You can watch legs to laugh. Me licked my lips because I don't know what's going on. I'm worried that I'm in some dry lid phase. I mean using chap six and stop going good. Oh no, you're in your dry era. But but guess what, guess what We're wet with content, baby, because because it's all on YouTube, it's available for you to view. You've been asking about it, and there it is. And even more exciting, this is another little, another little scrumptious thing that we get to offer you is we are doing a live show. Finally we are. David and I are are finally gonna be live in front of our our our eights and and maybe even tens of fans, doing a live episode of My Mama told me. It's going to be at the Allegian Theater here in Los Angeles on on February sixte We're really excited. We would love for you to be there. The tickets, the information is all going to be linked here on the YouTube that we promised is now available. So so click the goddamn link, your idiot. We did all this work. You better click it, and you better show up. Maltop bitch, Croup chips in your qualibas are racist host layers, mostly money Martney stuff. I can't tell me

Yeah. I mean they also made blood pudding like the British, and they're they're tastes and stuff. Yeah, now they do weird stuff man. Yeah, I'm not especially to have been in charge, do you know what I mean? Like they like you suck? How are you running it? That's yeah, y'all eat like the slaves, and that don't make sense. Like black people are truth, you're not black people had had to take the scraps. Why are you choosing the fucking scraps? You started out with blood sausage. Yeah, it's it's fucking weird, man. Come on, you could just the regular, not bloody sausages. Chips in your hands. Man's racist as money actually stuff I can't tell me. Give you me a good home rep. Yeah, we're back, but that's a perfect way to come back. We're back here for part two of My mama told me. It's holiday special extravaganza. Extravaganza. There's there's goddamn streamers strong all around us, and I don't know what you do. Yeah, bring us some figgy pudding. Bit of figgy pudding? Have you had figgy pudding? No? I don't know what it is. I don't either. Context of that song. I'm not gonna lie. It sounds pretty good. It sounds like some shing I would brown. I like banana pudding, and I like Fick Newton's. So if it's anywhere like some kind of weird mixed breed of that, I would work with this. That would be crazy. That would be crazy, right, Yeah, what if? What if? The reason we've never had figgy pudding is because it's so good that they had to, like truly like wipe it off the map. They had it out. Yeah, they were like, this is out of control, delicious, and it's making it's tearing families apart. Types. That's interesting because not a lot of foods die like that. Right, No, but I bet just died. I bet. We don't know why, you know. For a reason Olivia is saying figgy pudding is a pudding in the British sense of the word, which means it is a steamed cake like dessert. Wait it's a cake. Yeah, it sounds they're so dumb about food, can we man? The British need to kill yourself stop eating food? Maybe because you're bad at it? Oh beans for breakfast, I'll kill you. We're getting more information here. This particular Christmas version is traditionally made with sweat. Sweat which is raw beef or mutton fat, eggs, brown sugar, breadcrumbs, spices, dried fruits, and last, but certainly not least, brandy. British had bad taste and food is what Olivia, I don't know when you say all those things together, I'm not mad at it again. I was. I didn't like the raw beef or mutton fat, and then I started liking it as we went along, which we know for a fact is a sponsor of the episode. Thank you. That's that's that's that's from. We are brought to you by the Ark and the Jerk Juice. I don't know where you're from, Ernest and Jamal. I think you come from the Ernestine. You stayed with the Jamal Jal. But no, I'm gonna kick us off a little more into some of this research. But I think we should also open this up. You talked about this over the break that that we should probably open this conversation up to a lot of holiday traditions that sort of deal in I think just race and community and people's behaviors, if you will. Yeah, I like that because racially people are weird on Christmas? Like there's all kinds of right. Yeah, a lot of people are doing some odd ship in in celebration of a thing that we feel like it is a little more standardized than they're treating it. Yeah. I don't even know of uniform what is? Okay? Wait, anyway, I want to know do you have information on did he die around Christmas? So when he died? He died on December six? That was the original sort of like death day today. Yeah, he died, he died today. That's a wow, that's beautiful. Here we are recording December six, and this is the day St. Nicholas died. Yeah, then why don't you drop something from my man St. Nicholas to let him? Yeah? I would do better than that, but that was pretty good. Let's see what else happens. Okay, okay, now give us no you can do better. I can't do better than that. All right, this goes out to you. St. Nicholas. Sound me close? How did you say it? Uh? Center clouds? See if their clouds. Something's trying to smell your dick and having dog one time for for center clouds. Okay, So wait, so when all these Dutch people had this party that was December six. Yeah, they were going out in parties December six every time. And then in eighteen o nine, this dude Washington Irving basically helped to popularize center clouds stories. No, although you're what you're thinking of is is my boy Clement Clark Moore who wrote to us the night before Christmas in eighteen twenty two, which ultimately ends up giving us the current iteration of Santa Claus, the chubby, sort of jolly fat riding around on reindeer, climbing up chimneys, Santa Claus. But but this dude Washington Irvin eight No. Nine basically starts describing Center Clause. But he's describing him originally as like a rascal with a blue cornered, three cornered hat, red waistcoat and yellow stockings. See I like that a little better. I don't know why, but it sounds like, yeah, he's tacky. He's got my three cornered hat on. I can't tell me I'm not a two cornered hat bitch said something. I'm sorry that my man's a rascal. He's sticking, he's sticking thumbs up people's butts, yellow tights on you didn't tell me ship. What's he gonna do about it? Motherfucker? He ain't Nicholas too. I can't remember the name already. Center center clous center clouds. Yeah, you're you're sucking up again. I'm sure my holiday too. So so what was he doing when he was a rascal? I like that better. So I don't I there weren't really like super specific about the rascal of it all. But it just doesn't sound like a dude who's like walking around as much like giving away gifts as he is like a little more elfish, if that makes sense. See that's fun. I would rather be like Christmas time pranks, Yeah, the twelve Pranks of Christmas or something. You know, it's we're in the writer's room. But yeah, he puts like a he like gives you a wet willie and then afterwards he's like, I got you something. No, I love cool guy. Come on, give me a kiss, Come on it maybe on this hat. He shows up with the hat around his waist and he's like, oh, the hats down here, now go ahead and kiss around it. Yeah, so he was more of a fun guy with a blue hat before before old Clement Clark Moore gets involved, which was the Night Before Christmas, which is the poem that tells us that he's this big, fat dude and before then he's like a Turkish silly billy. He also introduced like the reindeer and stuff too. Right, Yeah, he introduced the reindeer. He introduced the chimney climbing all that stuff. That was a big shot, like from a man, like you know, it really was. And and frankly, it feels like almost like how Dracula is is now our depiction of vampires in a way, you know what I mean, where it's like definitely. One dude was like, yeah, they all got those Eddie Munster haircuts, and yeah, we're all shoulder pads and the high collar and yeah, like oh that's what they look like. Yo. Does he get his credit for inventing Santa? I don't think so. I've never shouted him out. I never heard. I've never been one time for my boy old On we could do it, though, give give shout out my boy one time for my boy Clement Clark more from twas the Night before Christmas. We love you, hell yeah, we we honor you on this day St. Nicholas's death day as well, because you you made him look less Asian than he was before you took and somehow made him fat, which I don't think there was as many fat guys back then. So that was a defining trait. Yeah, you went out of your way to be like this dude eats like a motherfucker, and then gave him and then gave him rain d which aren't indigenous to the United States. Nah was it? Was it an American guy who wrote that, I believe so. Yeah, so he was that's the real crazy. Well, remember Santa I think he Santa lived in the North Pole, so he imagined what the North Pole animals would be, which was oh wait, he already lived in the North Pole when he was like when he was a Turkish rascal. I think by the time that my boy Clement gets involved, he is a North Pole resident. Oh that's not I think Clement it may have in fact, been one of the people that introduced that concept. That's that's what all of this is. It's like Clement really shaped all of what we now understand to be Santa Claus lore. Okay, that makes sense, I can, okay, Okay. So he took a lot of big swings and and made made some hits. He really no, it's not a black man at all. He In fact, I looked him up and I've never seen a whier man before in my life. Truly look like somebody tried to draw Thomas Jefferson by heart, you know what I mean. It then becomes even more popular because store start to advertise Christmas shopping in eighteen twenty. By the eighteen forties, newspapers were creating separate sections for holiday advertisements, which often featured images of the newly popular Santa Clause of the of Clement's version of Santa Claus. So this went completely It's just propaganda. It's commercialism, Doug. That's all it is. Was just the mall being like, hey, we gotta get people to to have a reason to buy more stuff. See now, I don't want them to be part of the year. I don't want them to be black. I don't want them to be a tool of capitalism like that. That and that, honestly, was big takeaway from all of this was I kept thinking, stop telling little kids that Santa is black. What you need to tell them is that Santa is a white devil trying to trick niggas into buying stuff. Do you know what I mean? This is, this is capital complain nothing about Come on, we we don't need black Santa. We that's the white man's evil at work right there. And they can keep that nasty pudding for themselves. Yeah. I bet, I bet Figgy putting a ship. But I can't believe we even gave you the time of day we were. We were teasing you. Put that in the mouth of a king. You can kiss my three cornered hat he put in is for peasants as far I want, I want, I want salmon. I was a good Yeah, so fun Santa. This is why this beat. It should sounds like Balentine's Day. So it got me thinking about basically because this continues. Right in eighteen forty one, thousands of children get invited to this Philadelphia's shop to see a life size Santa Claus model, and it was basically then put in the newspapers and became this very popular thing for people trying to bring big crowds to their stores and ship to bring in their own Santa Clauses and life size models and ship. And then in eighteen ninety the Salvation Army starts dressing up homeless people as Santa Claus and getting them to solicit for for money so that they could basically provide for more homeless people. That even a complicated rollout. Yeah, they're like, we can't find anybody to play Santa Claus. They're like, I know some guys. And then for a while children just think Santa Claus like smells like p and is mentally ill. That's not a great people are mentally. Maybe back then it was different. Yeah, maybe homeless people are just one one big hit away from from getting off them straights. Do you give to the Santa Claus on the street? Do you ever give more because of Christmas? I don't think I have. I think I give to specific I don't give to any now I'm joking. If I give, I try to give to specific individuals. I feel like the often an organization is involved, the less that money is able to stretch towards the people it's meant to stretch too, especially now via go fund me, Like you do have to have your like what's about you when you're on there, but you get it's like a lot easier to just like fix one person's Christmas. Then, Yeah, and I try I I try to live under the rule that like, if somebody's asking and you have it, give it and don't think whites about like the story or what they're gonna do with none of that ship really matters. And like, frankly, I wasn't gonna do great ship within anyway, and so like, if I got it, you can have it, and I don't give a fuck. But once you start adding corporate ties to it, it starts to feel like, Okay, well you're paying somebody's salary and maybe people get pennies out of this and ship. You heard it here first, folks, Langston Kerman hates charity. I hate charity, and specifically the Salvation Army. Suck my dick. I don't salute your troops, not for one I I'm with you. But so they they're dressing up homeless people as or rather they're saying unemployed men, uh, Santa Claus, and then sending them into the streets of New York to solicit donations. And so the popularity grows and grows and grows until suddenly we are now putting Santa Claus on Coca Cola bottles and ship. So this is anything born of this kind of is bad. I'm not for it. Do more against Santa Claus than I was when we started this. You should be he truly is just a scam being run on us by rich people. Damn. Now where it gets fascinating, and I think this is some of what what we were excited to talk about in terms of other holiday traditions. As I did start looking up other sort of like depictions of Santa Claus or at Santa Claus like figure across the world. Yeah, there's some fun ones. So in in Germany, in Switzerland there's a dude named Chris Kind. Chris Kind was an angel like figure, often accompanying St. Nicholas on his holiday missions to deliver presents to well behaved children. So the Swiss and Germans all believe in this Chris Kind angel sort of like backup singer that that rides with St. Nicholas to go do the rest of this ship. I don't know if I'm gonna have a deity. I don't want him to be the B team. Yeah, that's real. I don't understand why an angel is sort of like playing back up to Yeah. Also, don't you go God you to be doing? Yeah, you're you're a real unfocused angel, and I think I think God's gonna smite the when when he finds out with both hands. Chris kind of bad at this. So then in Scandinavia, a jolly elf named jul Tompton delivers gifts in a slave drawn by goats. He's he's got goats flying him through the air. I guess that is good too. The goats not like a majestic beast now and and frankly not a focus to one either. It doesn't know. Yeah, they're gonna stop for breaks and ship ships all over the place. It feels like a lot of kids are gonna end up without gifts. If his playing, what else do we go? So then in Italy there's a woman called La Befana who's supposed to be a kindly witch who rides a broomstick down the chimneys to deliver toys into stockings of lucky children. La Befana and she she gets it too. Lucky children almost like that better? Oh that just get it? Yeah, I almost like take the morality out of it. It's a crap shoot. I'm playing dice, playing dice with these presents. It doesn't matter if I'm bad or good. I'm truly just praying it ain't snake guys exactly, because that one's easier on the parents. Do you have a broke year? You guys weren't lucky this year? Damn sucks. Damn. But we're gonna keep working on it. We'll write some letters and say, yeah, you know, maybe you'll get the next time. Yeah, she might come. There's also Pierre Noel is French, and he puts stuff in kids shoes that that's his strategy. I guess it's like small little trinkets and and hummus is I don't know what he's putting in shoes like that? Yeah, I don't. I don't get what his plan is there, but he puts it in the shoes. And then we get to my personal favor and now I imagine yours as well, which is which is my boy black Peter? That's just a guy I know. Oh is this the reason they wear a black face every year? Yeah? Yeah, Now now we're getting to the front stuff. This is specifically a a Dutch navy weird No, I think it's like Netherlands type thing. Yeah. Netherlands, that's where children are taught to believe that they received their presence from St. Nicholas, who is accompanied by a black servant called Black Peter. Adults will often dress up as St. Nicholas and Black Peter, a white person painted in black face, and visit children and adults to uh. St Nicholas arrives from Spain in November by boat in Holland together with his black servants. So in Spain specifically, they're like, yeah, he comes by boat and he has a bunch of slaves with him, And then in the Netherlands they're like, yeah, it's just one real popular black slave. But he's straight up with like, is there any history? He's just a slave. Yeah, he's just a slave. I looked it up. It's not they're not. Uh. He's not like a magical slave that does magical thing. This is a nigga with a job. Guys just like, well, here was my here's my big takeaway. And I don't know how this is gonna sit with sit with you in this but Black Peter and I I felt this way. I read all about him, and I felt like there's an argument to be made that Holland is the only place being completely honest about what Santa Claus actually is. No a slave holder. Oh yes, you know what I mean, Like the same way that that that there's no way to make a billion dollars without like intentionally exploiting a workforce and a a massive amount of people. There's no way to make toys for children all around the world without similarly exploiting a work group, you know what I mean. Yeah, I mean this is this is darker than just telling your kids there's no Santa clause. Yeah, you do better telling him that he's not real, not a yeah, not a Michael Fastbender type character, you know what I mean, not a fucking monster. It sounds like the Lost Lost People, right, there's no there's no there's no place he came from. Pete doesn't know his origins. Yeah, Black Peter, he ain't. He ain't got nothing. There's no history there. They didn't even give him a last name. He just lives in a license servitude to St. Nicholas. Yeah, he just rides around with St. Nicholas, handing out gifts that that he doesn't really get credit for. It sounds like so I think if there's anything to learn from this episode is that the Dutch of monsters. Yeah. I but again, I think there's a point to be made that that maybe they're just being honest, right because you just said you want to let a kid be a kid. You know what he's not doing that tell him about slaves. Yeah, but if you but at least in this way, they get a moment of just being like, oh, black Peter, he's he's like a happy slave. The same way that like, I don't think that's good. He was racially gonna be like, thank god, my parents gave me a leg up by telling me about black Peter. I just think that it's a chance to get at least get your kids defending themselves from the evils of this world faster by being by being straight up honest. Santa Claus can't exist without slavery. And we live in America, we don't, or in Holland we white slaves. Are you out of your mind? You think we're gonna they we're gonna enslave white people. That's that's more fantastical than a man that delivers gives to every child, enslaving white nose. So we enslaved the black and his name is Peter. I love this. I don't love that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not promoting. It feels of all the you you were pulling that ship to the lucky Italian, which because she's not being honest. Why is why are they lucky? Is this truly a lottery? Or are they getting preferential treatment because they live in the neighborhood with the guy who pulls the cards? Oh? Man, this is this is I don't I don't listen. I want you guys to know I'm not for black Pete. I don't like I'm not for black Pete. Nor am I four mountain dude, Nor am I four a lot of the things that you keep accusing me of. I am merely saying that in a world where these things, we need to acknowledge their effectiveness. Oh man, I think you just wrote a manifesto. Yo. I think there are lessons to be learned from a black Pete. Do you know what I'm saying? American? I gotta say I think that I'm I started this off. Black Peat makes me pro white Santa. Whoa black Peat makes me like, just give him the white fucking Santa? Then God damn it. But see, I think that that's what I think, that's that's making a mistake, because it's why do you want to put slavery in Christmas? It's in so many other things, because you're already telling me it's in Christmas. Before you learned or we talked about any of this black peat shit, you said that Santa had slaves. He has the fucking nails, And so America's just lying to us and going, look at these cute, little white, almost not human critters that are are Santa's quote unquote happy, pleasant workforce. And instead in Holland, they're like, look at that sad niggo over there having to help him delivering. Look at him deal with whatever the funk that is. And you now do do I think they've interpreted it right? No? I do not, But I do think at its core they're at least giving an honest lesson about what this day is. You gotta be you gotta be true to yourself. Man. I don't know. Man, this seems like a lot for children. I'm not saying, listen again, my daughter will not be raised. I want to be clear, Sad, we don't have a black pete on the top of our Christmas tree. You got Michael Jordan's eyes drop dropping off of hot wheels and getting back in his fucking Volkswagen Jetta. No, damn man, that's that's the worst Christmas ever. We're not gonna be promoting black Pete in this house. My daughter will not be raised knowing Black Pete as an option. But what I will say is that if you are a Dutch person who has lived under Black Pete's unfortunate rain for as long as as you have, it's fucked up. It's evil. Shame on you. But also kind of honest. I mean the term is brutal honesty. Right, Yeah, I'm not four black pets too. I feel like I honestly, you're like, you're like, this is all it's all made up. It's all made up Christmas, It's all made up. So now you want to choose honestly when it comes to putting racism and for slaves in there. Yeah, I don't want any children, Yeah, I don't want any black kids to be like that was like my uncle. Well yeah, well I don't think that. I think and again the effect of this, I think that's why you put a black a white man in black face so that it doesn't look like anybody's uncle. It surely is just a a non a non non comparable fucking little character cut Sure, how do you say that word? I can't put my finger on it, but my heart knows this as evil. Yeah, those you're speaking right now, But I'm saying it's evil. I I acknowledge it's evil. I'm just saying evil and honesty are not always fully separate into these That's that's fair. That's fair. That well. I I did also look up. I know you clearly you don't funk with it, and you sort of acknowledge a bunch of this already. I didn't want to look up if there are any Santa Clause traditions in primarily African countries or Black countries, And it doesn't seem like there is at all. Like it doesn't seem like a lot of Africans especially funk with Santa Claus at all. Now, I will say, y'all got Christmas because colonization and all the ship like you you're not exempt from Christmas. But you don't. Y'all just like go to church and get dinner and ship. It seems like a pretty reasonable day. I have all this magic call and breaking and entering in your house bringing the black slave along. Good Christmas, be happy for Jesus get a couple of presents were out. Yeah, be happy. Hey Jesus, you made it. That's very appreciate. You didn't live very long, but but you did. You did get here, and that's cool, and you live very long. You also had like thirteen missing years or something, right, Yeah, you know you did some funked up ship that Uh that old Joseph and Mary had to get wiped off the record, you know what I mean? Yeah, you have to get fresh. Prince of bel Aired for a minute, come right, he had one little fight and your mom got scared. And that story is probably a little deeper than you've made it seem. Uh you know what I mean. Well, I think a little more happened that day than just a ball bounced off a man's head and suddenly you had to move to bel Air. Let's be honest. You had you had a history with that gentleman. I think you killed the guy. So yeah, I I don't think that, uh that that Many African countries seem to give a funk about Santa Claus. In particular, it seems like there is a a already sort of like pre cooked awareness that this is just consumerism at it's at at play here that that Santa Claus don't got nothing to do with that. It developed completely out side of that part of the world. Right, I want to know what South Americans are doing. Oh, I don't actually know. I don't think they funk with that ship either. Oh, I feel like that's tough. Yeah, tell me where. I've never known South Americans or even Mexican I never really know. As far as in my life, I've never really known them. It seems like the funk with that ship either. Yeah, Olivia is typing noche Buena, which is the good Yeah, if I'm not mistaken, But that are you suggesting that, Oh, it's celebrating more Christmas Eve than it is even Christmas Days. But there's no like there's no like man who comes to your home. There's no like Mexican Santa Claus. I guess it's the big question. See, I didn't think so I didn't, That's what I'm telling So that means so then you look at the world as a whole, right, South America, Central America doesn't with it, Africa doesn't funk with it, The Middle East doesn't funk with it. Asia, as far as I understand, it's not funk with it. I guess Turkey Eurasia. So this is a purely European sentiment. Yeah, and and Turkey doesn't really funk with it. They did funk with it, and then it got washed into some other people's ship and now they're like, man, whatever. So that means this is just like a figment of the Dutch imagination. Yeah, no, it's white. It's white trickery at its moment, its finest. This is at the highest level. Nobody else gives a funk about that ship. Man. I'm back off, I'm back off. I'm back off. Santa Claus sounds like you're back on the black Peat train. Let's go. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no do oh. Yeah, I don't want nothing to do with it. I knew that I didn't like this. I knew this coming in. I didn't like this. Well, I think we solved it. I do. I do think we we nailed this episode at it's cored. Sounds like Santa Clauses is truly just some made up white people's ship to mostly trick us into spending more money than we have. I think we did it. I feel so Black people stop to stop buying into a black Santa. That's just a long con to make you personally invested in your own your own destruction. And white people, keep up the good work. You're nailing it. We're we're all really proud of you, and you have nothing to regret. Surely, surely white Jesus will celebrate you and kiss you on your forehead when you make it up to a white heaven. Wait, tell everybody where they can find you, like the logical closing, you can find me a cool guy jokes eighties seven on Instagram. I post all this stuff I'm doing there, and you know, just keep coming out to see me. I really appreciate it. It's nice to see you in prison. And uh, you know, black Pete, black Pete funk the institution that's fawn. Black Pete, black pet is just a man working hard, and I don't want to be against it. All right, Well, you can follow me at Langston kermanow dot black Pete. Do you even follow me on like on all platforms? Gee, Lonny, stay out of my goddamn emails. And as always, if you want to send us your drops, your conspiracy theories, your suggestions of what we should do with Black Pete in Santa Claus and personally, I do believe that I bories against it, but I believe that Black Pete deserves sex too, So I'm not sure what what happened where He's like Black Pete should go sexless and id and save for the rest of his life. But if you want to fund Black Pete, please is that. But if you want to send us your conspiracy, send them to my Mama pot at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, and happy holidays. Bye bitch, Black pe We're back. You thought we were gone, but we're back, bitch, and we've got something exciting to tell you, very exciting stuff to to let you know about. Big news. First big news on the table starting December, right December. We're on YouTube. You asked for it, you animals, and we're giving it to you. You filthy pigs, You filth fucking pigs. Full episodes of my Mama told Me streaming on YouTube. You can watch legs to laugh. Me licked my lips because I don't know what's going on. I'm worried that I'm in some dry lid phase. I mean using chap six and stop going good. Oh no, you're in your dry era. But but guess what, guess what We're wet with content, baby, because because it's all on YouTube, it's available for you to view. You've been asking about it, and there it is. And even more exciting, this is another little, another little scrumptious thing that we get to offer you is we are doing a live show. Finally we are. David and I are are finally gonna be live in front of our our our eights and and maybe even tens of fans, doing a live episode of My Mama told me. It's going to be at the Allegian Theater here in Los Angeles on on February sixte We're really excited. We would love for you to be there. The tickets, the information is all going to be linked here on the YouTube that we promised is now available. So so click the goddamn link, your idiot. We did all this work. You better click it, and you better show up. Maltop bitch, Croup chips in your qualibas are racist host layers, mostly money Martney stuff. I can't tell me