Explicit

Dark Week (with Reggie Conquest)

Published Apr 16, 2024, 10:00 AM

Are dark-skinned ni**as having a moment? Langston and David talk to Reggie Conquest (Abbott Elementary) about the dark kings who are shining bright. This can be traced back to everyone wanting to be Wesley Snipes in the 90s as well as J.Cole apologizing to Kendrick Lamar two weeks ago. We also address the craziness of Meek Mill and Draymond Green. Plus, the latest from Terrence Howard. Fire alarms are constantly being pulled during this episode. This is the rampant colorism we promise to deliver each week. 

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I mean not being said. G Depth just cut out to me. I don't know what he's gonna do. He could, he can.

Make this money's money.

She stands for the game. It don't ease pay Come on, I love that guy. We got G Death fans. I liked him, but I don't know if you know.

Yeah, I don't think he'd have I don't think he'd have got.

The fact. I'm gonna say hi today.

Welcome home G That. But uh, we're not counting on you to come in as a major player. I mean, you know him relaxed, get to know your kids.

When they said he was released, I thought I didn't even know he was in jail.

Bro sound G Death.

Okay, good to see you, mane.

I love special delivery anyway. Chips in your ah Kuala bears are racist. The Foxy money turkey.

Stuff I can't tell me.

Numb numb, numb, and my tum tum tumb. There it is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black and steer spiracy theories and we finally work to prove that Shannon sharp Wood in fact suck some toes it faced with the right toes. Come on, Shannon, we know you got it in you just do it for the team. My name is David Bory.

I'm la sick German. I'm all for sucking toes.

I am too, I am too.

I ain't fighting it.

It's crazy move, but I don't get it.

But it's not a first date move. But I recognize that, like everybody date different, everybody wouldn't the first night. I don't think I would do it before I got some, or at least like the promise of it.

No, I'm talking about in the first cup. Oh I would you would? Okay? Which I mean? I think it's really the beginning of the converse the topic today.

No, you can jump in whatever I was like. I'm like, yeah, we'll intro you more properly, but but feel free to chime in whenever you decide.

Word.

Yeah, I'm down. I'm down sucking toes on the first link.

I'm not opposed to it. I don't think my instinct lends itself to sucking toes, certainly not.

You're scary for it? What do you?

Come on? Man, I'm just trying to earn it. I'm just trying to earn it.

I'm not jumping straight to the toes though, I want you to like take your shoes off.

No, it's not the first place my mouth is going.

Look, even Steph Curry takes layups before he takes half court shots. It's my point, you know what I mean, Like he works his way up to the thing that is his thing.

I don't think it's I don't think it's a half shot. I think it's a free throw. I think it's a Yeah, I think it's a mid range jumper at back, maybe a turnaround. But like na, man, you.

Feel like across the board, even even a first interaction with somebody, everybody's like, hell, yeah, suck my toes. No doubt in my mind that that's gonna be well received.

Yeah, I mean not more or less than the other ship. I'm trying to pull off you, like for real, body, Yeah, I got a couple of movies.

Yeah, I feel like I feel like it's the first and it's the first day we're going off to dinner. Like when she comes over for dinner, she comes over for then, I'm definitely sucking.

Toe Yeah, if you cross threat. It's all going in each other's mouth.

So if you made bowling a's you put in toes you about, That's just the way.

If I had to eat up an appetizer, I'm.

Gonna he let me get that. Let me get a look at them piggies.

Pigs and blanket picks in my mouth. That's the order.

Our guests today. You already have heard his, uh, his, his bold opinions on toll second and maybe maybe maybe I'm in the minority, and it actually leads us well into the subject of today. But our guest today, he's a phenomenal comedian. I couldn't be a bigger fan of him. You know him from from uh that damn Michael Jay. You know him from from Comedy Central. You know him from Abbot Elementary. He's insecurity, has been all kinds of cool ship hilarious. Dude, give it up for Reggie Conquest.

Hey, what up? What up? What's going on? It's been a while since I've been on here, man.

Yeah, you you were in the original iteration of the show, back when it was just me in a different corner of my room.

You changed corners of your room.

Yeah, I used to be over there. But it's the whole thing that's about progress. Yeah, Reggie, you came, well, we should say you did not come with this conspiracy theory. It sort of was. It was born of you and Bory looking at each other and building an almost immediate bond in a way that that's hard to articulate how quickly you all sort of like vultron together into a single body.

You see how he just says that obediate he was.

Going to separate youself, you all the way, the way you two apes sort of uh monke it up together. It's it's hard to articulate what.

I was looking at my camera?

Is that me?

But you you came with this conspiracy today you said, my mama told me dark skinned Nickus is up. Uh oh oh yeah.

Tell me.

Tell me everything you're feeling right now in this moment. Tell me what you believe.

I mean me personally. I want to say, for the record, I don't think we've been down since like early nineties. Wow. I think Wesley Snipes came up and it's been a steady.

Rocking even even like Peak Drake era, y'all were still and.

Then the Meek ship here's okay, and you're from Philly. That is tough.

Yeah, I can't no more. I'm kind of over them.

Now get up.

Rock to.

Be fair, I was laughing at that video, but then I went and did the same thing, like it's easy to sound like a bitch as and he was like, you know what I feel for me.

At that point? And you're with kids, I was with grown men. Like it was.

The same exact tone and everything.

I'm talking tough, like I had to take a walk when the Undertaker got beat it. Yeah, oh my god, that was a bad day. That was a tough day. Uh. Here's the thing I think that to the Drake of it all, here's what I think about Drake. Great artists, we love him right. Women want to have sex with him. Men don't want to be him. Nah, And that's why I don't think he counts for a take. Niggas want to be Wesley Snipes. Nobody wants to Like I said, I love the guy. Nobody wants to beat Drake. Everybody everybody looks you know what I mean. You see him and you're like, oh Drake, you're up to your old what are you doing? Spread he go on the bed.

I was just I was just speaking from just cold, just apologizing to Kendrick.

Like it's come on, that was a big day summer.

That was a crazy dark skin.

I was like, oh got it, that was a that's a that's that's a.

Good day me. I could not I so first, And I want to say this on the record, I didn't care about this beef from the start. From the start, I was like, this is boring. They're just friends like being like I like beef when they beef when it really is.

About Yeah, Langston wants somebody killed behind it.

I like when a man feels sad after he listens to another man read poems, you know what I mean. Like, I don't want this ship where it's like, oh wow, he rapped really rapping, like yeah, let's burnes.

I respect that. Yeah, you want somebody's baby mama to get fucked.

Yeah, that's old school.

That's old school beef.

That's the worst ship I ever seen on the internet. That was is just wild. That's the worst thing I seen girls one Cup. That's still the worst shit I ever seen on it, Like, you hurt my feelings when I was I forgot about that, Yeah I forgot about that. Yeah that's a throwback yeah.

I think he was meaner to to Floyd Mayweather than he was the Giant rule.

Oh, Floyd got it bad. The reading thing.

That the reading thing was pretty like exposing in a way that I still look at Floyd a little funny, you know what I mean, where I'm like, damn, bro, you you can't read.

That's but even even that era, nobody was getting killed. They were just really shitting on each other.

Yeah, they were just real main. Yeah, but I knew this bad.

I knew this wasn't real beef, but I didn't. I was getting into it, okay, getting into it. I was buying into the friendship and the lyrical ship.

Now.

I don't think Drake is coming doing that.

I don't think.

I think Drake is a foul nigga and he gonna say some problem.

I think so. I think so.

I don't think Drake's gonna make this a rap beef, but I do think he's gonna do something real, like fucking weird and personal and make this way ickier than it currently is.

Drake also was bested by a dark skinned man.

He was, he was, he was, but but he bested He bested a dark skinned man.

Steph is done.

It's hey, almost get out of here. I think that is fine. I think Clay could come back. I think Clay could reverse Sammy Sosa. I think he ends up with us. I think that's I think that's a real possibility.

Here's what I'll say is I think that there's a fair argument that a lot a lot of our heroes are on their downturn. Right Hey, Klay Thompson, Steph Curry, Drake obviously is at his height of heights. It ain't looking great. Ja Coles apologizing, But I don't think you all are given enough credit to the way dark skin niggas have been acting a fool as of late as well. I don't think you're acknowledging all of the important players here. Meek Mill is an important mentioned. Draymond Green has truly lost every ounce of him.

Well see that's all fun and games, that's all, and he lost himself in the darkness. He's like Darth Vader. Yeah, like come on, yeah, yeah, Like all the things he's doing is just he got if anything too dark.

Yeah see that's just that's just dark skinned fun.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly exactly.

This has always been this has always been my issue with this argument is that at its core, you guys hate us so much. I want to be clear about I want to be absolutely clear about my lef whige I am. I'm furious now you will hand us so much that when when Drake acts like a psychopath, you go, this is life skin behavior. He's being a little bitch, whatever it is. But when Draymond Green arguably does identical ship to ship.

You actually you've seen Draymond spread equal on the bed.

Let's be honest that you think. Now, let's be completely honest. You take the dick pic out of the equation. And Draymond Green is going on his podcast and and starting beefs that he ends only when he can like wrestle a dude from the back. It's Drake level behavior, dark skin activities.

Yes, that's fun, that's dark skin fun.

Started man suspended, He is suspended, just like I got used to.

Come on everything, Come.

On, he's doing the same thing Drake does.

He's pulling the fire alarm. Yes, I used to really pull every fire alarm in school.

Exactly did you get you guys suspend it every time?

Oh that was like a kink for me back then.

I was every time I could not stop pulling fire alarm at one point in my life.

That's a hilarious stat bro, there's twenty fire alarms pool.

Oh my god, it was. It was insane.

It is. I get it though, because I've seen somebody do it and the excitement if that is excitement.

Running laughing, and your on camera they're showing you pull on. They used to say right here, and I'm like, whoa, you.

Might be the first cereal fire alarm my life.

At one point from like from like seventh grade to like tenth grade.

Oh, it was a problem.

It was a problem.

What do you remember your last pull? Do you remember like where you were like, hey, I got a chill. This this took me over.

I got I.

Got kicked out of my first high school ninth grade year, and I got sent to another school. And then when I got sent to the worst, the worst school I was ever at, I was like, that's probably chill.

Yeah. They were like, we don't even have fire alarms over here. Yeah, We'll let you die in this bit.

You pulled the fire alarm, we send the police.

It's like begetting into the grade. I was like, all right, man, I gotta I gotta cut this habit.

Damn, damn. They took a great one out the game. That's that sucks.

Man.

It was a problem gone but not forgotten.

When we come back, we're really gonna try to unpack this so so called dark skin Niggas is up movement. Y'all are trying to start right now, see it.

You see what he does, though, Bro, you see what he does and then he's like, I don't understand the light skin jokes, dividing, trying to divide and conquered.

It was a good impression. I'll say that.

It was a good impression.

You nailed my voice. I give you that, And it's only when.

You do that regularly, regular guy. But then you start to get the.

So called Okay, yeah, I thought I was talking again. I couldn't believe how close the impression was. We're going to be back with more Reggie Conquests more.

Ma. Mama told me.

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Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat Alien Dad hat the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is who you are.

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Has been oh ship swallowing up. Have you gone through the time of swallowing where everything was overwhelmed? Me?

We are back nothing ages well, nothing ages Well, I.

Don't think that was even that long ago. I don't think that was that long.

Are you guys gonna tell me that's that he got swallowed by the dark skin? What's that? Why do you defend that moment?

That one was tough? I don't know. T I think I think, yeah, I think that in service of the White Lord, the white I think everyone makes the stakes and I think he's like I blame that on white Jesus.

And nothing is aging well, like.

Ten years, they're gonna call one of us game. They're gonna pus a picture. Look at him with his too dark and nothing ages well man.

And they're taking all our heroes out the game is what I get upset about. I don't I don't know. I don't know, not one white guy who had to get rid of any heroes. I gotta I gotta lose one every six weeks.

Yeah, Like nobody looked up to uh to what's his name, what's the producer's name that Harvey Harvey, nobody gave a ship. Yeah, nobody was like, I want to be Harvey Wan.

Yeah he's a distributor.

You're like, no, I respect that he's like very famous and successful, but I don't want to be that guy. He looks like, yeah, yeah, fucking awful.

Yeah, it fucking sucks. We ain't nobody left, oh man, And it's like more and more man.

They waited to cancel Hugh Hefner the moment he gave out his last cough, you know what I mean, Like they were like he was like and they were like, oh, he's a bad guy. And then he died and so they just get to live with his memory being good the whole time. Yeah, Dark Skin niggas is up.

Y'all.

Are y'all are of the belief that this j cole apology, or at least Reggie you suggested that this j cole apology might have been the the the big step forward you needed at least for.

The right before summer, Right before summer. It's a good look. And then you know, Kendrick is our patchie beard King and uh gives. Yeah, he's a He's a patchy beard king. And I'm following this league.

Do you think that Kendrick now walks away from whatever this is? Like, does he go and rest? Or you think he's coming back with violence?

I hope, I hope he comes back. Viol I want him to rip. I still want him to rip whoever's thrown out.

I also, I mean, I do we do know he loves his rest? Yeah, he loves he loves his rest. He loves taking long breaks, which I do too. Maybe it's the blue with me, I don't. I think it's not just Kendrick though. I think I think I think it's fashionable to be dark skin. Maybe we have more dark skin sexy actors than ever.

Before, ever before Damn saying yeah, come on baka some other Africans, I will say right now, and I've felt this for a few years.

We are very much lacking in the entertainment space. There aren't a lot of great light skin champions moving and shaking the way that they used to. Jesse Williams down, Michael Eli, Shamar Moore is is long past his his expiration date. Terrence Howard uh retired from the game. Retired, Well he did. I let's talk about him a little bit. Terrence Howard did retire so that he could explore his uh, his solving these major maths sort of breakthroughs. And now he has announced that he's out of retirement because he was in massive debt and in need of money. So he's back acting again. But he ain't doing great.

Why And because I know you watched the entire interview, what what's with the bangs?

Great question? He he goes five minutes into the interview without ever addressing them once. Uh, I think that's a reasonable guess.

Yeah, he don't give skit vibes like No, I don't think I don't think he's funny like i'd imagine he doesn't like comedy.

I don't think so either. I don't think he likes to laugh, Like, you never.

Seen him be funny in a movie ever, never, And that's like hard for a Blackmail actor to never have had a comedic role.

He goes, he goes five minutes into the conversation, never having acknowledged it. And then eventually the interviewer who loves him dearly, like is very obsessed with him, believes very much in everything that he claims to have done. But she kind of goes like, hey, maybe we should tell people why you're wearing a wig, and he goes, Oh, yeah, it's for a role I'm on set, and it's like, oh, take it off. You can take it off. This is a two hour interview. Take off the fucking wig. You're done for the day.

Do you think he knew what he was doing, Like, Hey, this is probably gonna I don't feel like he's a skit guy, but I feel like he did, like he does things on purpose to like.

I think, and this is where I start to push back again against what you guys are saying. I think Terrence Howard is an antics guy. I think he was the type to pull fire alarms, and you're not acknowledging how much that wig is just a pulled fire alarm on top of your head.

I don't know, Terrence Howard, don't give fire along, fire along. I see him pitches up when he was on like the Cosby Show, like a good kid.

Or like or in Sunset Park. He's the devil. He's a devil. He's a devil. I'm just saying it. I want to be He's a light skinned terror.

I want to be clear. Terrence Howard does not come from anything reasonable. Terrence Howard killed Santa Claus. His dad. Fucking no, his dad killed a man in line in front of Santa Claus because he bumped into him while they were waiting to see Santa Claus.

Almost as if his dad had some type of a page rage.

They cut in front of them and bumped them, and Rn Tower's dad then pulled out a gun, shot the man in front of arran toward the other person's child and Santa Claus, and then time in prison for it.

Is this real?

This is a very real thing.

Ship never mind, Damn, that's crazy.

I didn't know that.

He don't come from a goddamn thing.

No, no, no, he got it. He got out the mud. He's from Cleveland, right, I don't remember if he went through that.

He was definitely gonna pull fire alarms. He starts fires.

Yeah, he's a fire That's what I'm saying. He's a menace. He's not he's not for play.

Yeah, yeah, I think he's I think he's a fire kid. Fire alarms was fire alarms was all in fun. My friends was like do it, do it, We said, get out of.

I pulled firearms for everybody, you know, that little distraction and calls. It costs like like seven to ten minutes to get it stopped or sometimes, you know, I did it for the people.

Terrence Howard started fires just because he wanted people to die.

Yeah, he wanted to kill the teachers.

Again again, you guys, keep moving the the fucking goalpost with this. Terrence Howard and Draymond Green, same energy. Terrence Howard, Frankly and Puff Daddy, same energy. Both of them terrorists who are monsters, just moving and shaking and pretending like they're not. And you're gonna pretend like we're not. We're not talking about the same types of individuals.

His name is Love Yeah, I think there is. I think there is. There is a foundation of fun and enjoyment that Terrence Howard does not have. Yeah, you don't think he put on that.

You don't think he did that interview and had a good time sitting there with his leg cross.

I think a bang out of his face. I think he said I am at work. Everyone will take me serious because such. I don't think he. I don't think he was like this is hilarious, like Diddy would have thought, or Draymond Green would have thought, had they had the same wig. I gust he was like, I'm a serious actor. This is my process and this is just a part of it.

Fuck you, I think at some point, because I should note that the film that he's shooting on is a it is actually it's a sixties film where he plays like some sort of gangster in a Muhammad Ali sort of offshoot story. It's like before a fight story. I can't remember what exactly it is, but Kevin Hart is involved.

Oh yeah, I auditioned. I auditioned for that.

How was it?

Oh? I did not get it? Yeah?

I think we gathered. Don't nobody say I auditioned and they booked it.

Didn't didn't didn't go I was supposed to do, was supposed to do a read with Kevin Hart. He couldn't make it.

Wait, Okay, Kevin Hart's involved, right. I think I think Terrence Howard did that interview to show. I think it's a fuck you to Kat Williams and every black person that things, because it's something. It's something there in that wig, like, hey, I can wear this wig and still be a scary nigga, Like I could still be a man's.

Man in this wig. Mabe. I agree with that. I think that I think he thought Empire was a documentary. I think that it's only described. Yeah.

I think that Terrence Howard put on that wig.

I think that wig was subliminal.

Yeah, And I'm saying I think he kept that wig on. I think he did two hours of interview. He shook that woman's hands, and then he walked back to Kevin Hart and Samuel Jackson and he was like, y'all ain't gonna believe this.

I just did. I don't think he's that silly.

I don't think he laughed.

I don't think he's that silly.

But I think he came back and very seriously was like, you know, I wore the wig the whole time, right, and then walked away. And there they were like, this man is a psychopath. Okay, that's the funniest thing that a human being can be, is that level of psychopath.

I can see him saying that dead seriously, that's.

What I'm saying. That's so much funnier than coming back and being like, y'all gonna believe.

No, here's what I think that I'm I'm seeing. Okay, I think I'm starting to see a split, and I'm understanding the dark skinned light skin debate. This is because our humor is based in whimsy and fun. Your humor is, in fact, as you have said yourself, based in true evil. That's what you like, is evil, Likeston.

I pride myself on being able to enjoy all kinds of don't do this, but let me I impride myself on being able to enjoy all kinds of humor. I will say that Terrence Howard It for me. Terrence Howard is the top of the top of hilarious human beings and on the planet. And if if some of that humor is rooted in devildoom, I'm comfortable with that.

You in your corn as a light skinned man, like evil I do.

I I aspire towards it for sure.

Case you want hard, that's the difference between light skin and dark skin. Fun You want hard. We just want to play a little basketball, hits you in the nuts.

Yeah, we want we want like temporary like pain a little bit, like.

We wanted to go away. You want to we want to come up, suck you up a little bit. You want to kill people.

I don't want gill be But if you have like a permanent limp, that's pretty funny. If something I did just made you always walk different, that's hilarious.

You see how his eyes has kind of gone cold even right now, that's what they I kind of agree with Terrence Howard doing that seriously.

Like, hey, it's come on, man, that's the funniest way you could have done that.

I get that, but I need to acknowledge that it's because of the evil that burns inside of his heart.

I don't think he's a good guy. That's never been my argument. I just think he's the funniest person.

He's trying to get. But hey, guys, it's okay to wear wigs.

Put it. Put on a wig, yeah, And I don't even know if that's what he thinks.

I think he just makes it up as he goes.

Nice. It was nice, It is really good.

It was very pretty. It was a really nice wig. And the woman again I I I cannot in enough the wood woman could not admire him more, and so she truly addresses it at the five minute mark and it never comes back up again, like there's never an answer he gives where she goes. I have trouble taking this seriously. While you're wearing that wig, she just is like, sir, thank you, thank you, thank you for your brilliance and your time.

The entire time. Now, here's the question I have. It's sort of like, is this like uh, like, we're talking about degrees of evil within light skinneddness. Do you think light skin, green eyes is what takes you to be the full devil? Does that make sense? Because your light skin with brown eyes still good Man has a family, not have tried to invent any new math. You know what I mean? You to light in the devil's playground, but you don't live there.

But okay, right, well, here's a word. Here's what I'll say the word. Here's what I'll say, and I'd be curious to hear both of your thoughts on this. I am not a full subscriber that what Terrence Howard is doing with the math is as wrong as we think it is. Uh wait, what, I'm not saying that his math is correct, but I am not a subscriber to it being as wrong as everybody keeps trying to say it is. I actually think he's kind of making a few points even as he's saying a bunch of bullshit around it. Go on, Okay, here's what I'll say. Fundamentally, one times one does not equal to. I understand that is incorrect in the technical sense, right, But what I think Terrence Howard is trying to do in a shitty not as intelligent as he thinks it his way, is challenge us to reconsider how much of this mathematic shit is just rules versus things that are actually true in our everyday experience. So, for example, we were having this debate the other day zero. Where in your life does zero actually exist? The number zero, it's the absence of existence. It's the absence of existence.

It's like the color of black being the absence of light. Still it's still tangible.

But again, that's a thing that you're adding a logic too. I'm saying, in your everyday sort of natural experience, where does zero exist?

Ah? When I have one of something and it goes to none of something, but that does don't have it?

So principally, if you're looking at this the way that he argued, argues it through physics, that doesn't stop existing simply because it isn't yours anymore.

That is just you.

This is where please I can I can feel my my fire alarm.

Zero right now?

Yeah, I get it as it's it's tough to make sense of some of it. But but I don't think that everything he's saying is completely incorrect. What I will say it's it's wrong. It's technically wrong because we've created standardized language for how we talk about math, how we talk about certain ideas, and because we as humans just agreed on that ship. Then he's he's absolutely wrong because we've all agreed on it. Stop being a weirdo and trying to break up the party with a new math like we're chilling. But like, if we really unpack some of this, he's not wrong in the in what the natural world is, it's just he's wrong about fucking breaking up a party.

Yeah.

I think you asked me earlier, what I am my team Terrence Howard or something along those lines.

Yeah, I would absolutely be team Terrence Howard.

Okay, I'm I'm I'm going. I'm rolling with him.

Fuck it, I like to hear it. See these bombs, they can be repaired.

I'm rolling with Terrence in the wig Man. He's a free, scary man.

He's terrifying, he's a he's a menace, and and you kind of have to root for. It's the it's the fucking Yeah, it's a white Bronco on the fucking freeway, you know what I mean. It's OJ driving with AC. No, he's not a good guy. No you don't. You don't fucking want him to be, you know what I mean, just a free man for the rest of his life. But at the end of the day, you want the Bronco to get away.

Yeah, you want him to get away in that situation and that situation, Oh, you want him get away and then get.

Them Yeah drive, OJ drive, and then a few weeks from now you pick him up in like a motel in Memphis and yeah, okay, you got me. Hey, I want him to be but I wanted him to have that ride.

Yeah that's fair.

Yeah, I think that that too often the distinction of light skinned people being sensitive sensitive maybe and this Bory made this point is conflated with the fact that we like to be menaces and we don't get enough credit for the menace work that we do.

Well.

I think we're forgetting somebody that son I can't think of, but we're forgetting somebody that's a scumbag, that's.

Like Chris Breezy.

Oh, I love Chris Brere.

Yeah, and he's he's a bad guy.

Yeah, I love that dude.

Yeah, that's okay. Listen I I and we may get pushed back from some of our listeners as it relates to this. This podcast ain't here to yuck. You're young. If that's who you're into, that's who you're into. I'm not going to defend his character and I'm not going to tell other people character.

I'm talking. I'm gonna go see him in June.

I'm a dancer.

I'm definitely going.

Yeah.

I you know, at the end of the day, it is what it is as far as how you pick and choose who you want to go see dance and sing. But but Chris Breezy is an objectively menacing successful person. That's just true. That's true for everybody. We're gonna take a break because David is, I think, still figuring out how to get back up in this. But when he comes back, we'll come back and we'll still be talking to Reggie Conquest and more. My mama told me, we're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

Just sleek, it's sexy.

Come on, you want to tell him we have Yeah, we have.

Three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enameled pin with an alien who has a koofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.

Who you are. Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff. So get it.

Man.

We are back, ladies and gentlemen discussing the complicated life in Times of one. Terrence Olivier Howard is that his middle name? I don't know. Also, did you talk about the new water?

Talk about what he claimed he invented new water? I didn't see new water.

The new hydrogen technology.

To the hydrogen technology, it wasn't water.

Okay, this dude, he wins, He wins one argument. Now everybody's a scientist. I like that.

You are like, h two, Oh yeah, I can cut out all the other elements in that water.

He was saying water.

Yeah, that's not what he's saying at all. But what was saying, Oh, I mean, I'll tell you what he was saying. He's claiming that that and this is some of where Terrence Howard, it's truly the biggest psychopath on the planet is he believes that if we can he can just reframe our fundamental math are one times one equals too, then we can finally advance to larger problems that have existed for six thousand years. This thing called the flower of life, which would open up like these moods. I wish it's a it's a diagram of sorts that he says, it's one of the most ancient symbols that humankind has ever made, and that Da Vinci and all these great plato a lot of great thinkers were struggling to figure out this diagram because it has these particles inside of it that by opening it up, he has discovered new particles out in the universe, and in doing so can now reframe the way that we use our fuels and shit, so we would have hydrogen technology. He could solve climate change, he could solve starvation agricultural issues across the world.

It sounds to me like you're talking about good pussy ye interview.

Terrence Howard has said this across many interviews, including appearing at Oxford University where he gave a speech where they asked him to speak there about his acting career, and instead he showed up and gave an our long presentation about the science that he has been working on for forty years, as he claims, Really, how old is he?

Like fifty? Damn bro?

You know your Terrence Howard Howard the homework, I don't know anything about that, dude.

I'm not gonna lie to you. I don't think that there's a person I know more about, including my wife. I think I think Terrence Howard comes first, and every day I'd be wondering, how do you spell my wife's hometown again?

Oh?

Really know? And then Terrence Howard I'd be like spitting his knowledge like I'm in a fraternity.

Yeah. I love this nigga. That was crazy.

His middle name is Dashawn.

I did. I did put that up yesterday. I did see that, which you think he would go. He seems more like a Dashawn. That sounds like a football player. I feel like I'm pretty sure that's a football player in the name too.

Yeah.

No, it sounds like one for sure, just like the odds. Yeah, okay, he's fifty five years old. Yeah so for forty years? Is he's been working on this science.

He's been doing flower science for forty years.

The flower of life. Let's not be reductive.

It does sound like what David said.

Something does sound like it might be and I pray that he solves the equation. I guess it's really the more important part here.

I mean, I don't think any of us have figured it out all the way.

That's what I'm saying. I think that that at the end of the day, and this is where I take issue when people laugh at Terrence Howard, or at least the way that they laugh at him, is that at the end of the day, what he's presenting isn't bad. He's saying he wants to solve all our problems out in the world. That's fucking cool. We should root for him, even if he is being a psychopath like dumb dumb. We should be like, yeah, figure it out, Terrence, that's great.

At what point do psychopath and dumb dumb not be the more important thing to focus on?

Oh?

You following first a psychopath or a dumb dumb?

I think I'll follow a psychopath.

And I'd be lying if I said I let some dumb dudes talk me into some ship in my lifetime, maybe that confident confident dumb dudes have got me in trouble.

But but in your current life, and this is worth asking, you're thirty six years old, in your current self, would you follow a psychopath or a dumb dumb first?

I would go psychopath today. There we go, I agree, I agree, there we go. Yeah, if it's if it's right now, I think that I can see the forest through the trees with a dumb dumb ass, I'll still get tricked by a psychopath.

Psychopath is just a better leader, hands down.

See you're jumping.

I follow a lot of dumb dumbs and in a lot of dumb ship I never I never went behind. I'm definitely following the cyclepath because it's just like, all right, this is the first time for everything, let's go.

I do think the thing about and also the thing about psychopath is you can still be a psychopath and be kind of smart, be successful. Right, there's I think most famous people are psychopaths absolutely inside right, like super dupe, like up top famous people their own.

Steph Curry praised after every shot. That's not a psychopath, that's a psychopath.

That's that's wild, that's wild.

Lebron James got the Chosen One tattooed on his body before he played an NBA game.

To be fair, was he not? But that's even even even at that point he hit that between the legs dunk and in high school in game, and I also was like, he's bro.

I'm not questioning the legend.

Come if that didn't work out.

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying that if it didn't work out, what do you think? What do you think Greg Oden has tattooed on his body?

Do you know what I mean? Like TJ Ford is just at a twenty four hour fitness.

With wild tattoos. Yeah, that is God will never turn on me, you know what I mean. It's like, bro, I think I think you're being crazy. I think you're being a fucking psychopath.

I don't mean that too. I love TJ. Ford. I'm trying to be hating less on this podcast. I really mean, like I know, I mean TJ Ford another dark skinn king.

So if I were to make an argument here, and I'd love to hear your thoughts, I think that if you're saying that principally light skinned people live towards psychopath versus sort of like dumb, silly, and.

I don't think psychopath. I think more towards evil.

I think you don't think that those are nails have a level of synonymous inside of them.

I think truly treated evil isn't psychopathic. It's just evil. You know, It's just the opposite of good. I don't think you have to. Yeah, I don't think. I don't think you have to be nuts to be to be evil. And like you said, yeah, I think there are some psycho people who are totally good. I don't think you can be evil without psychosist. I do think you can be a psychopath without being evil. But I don't think it's like square to rectangle rectangle. I think it's just a different orientation.

You just give me an example of an evil person who is not a psychopath.

Evil evil genius, like an evil genius, Like, I don't think you're a psychopath.

I think we start inside the house and we move outside. Yeah, but I'm not actually even inspire towards it.

That's a good point though, now that if I think about it, somebody who's evil who's not a psychopath Exter's Laboratory. He was just a German child.

But bro, he's not supposed to be German. His parents were American. That's a psychopath. That's a psychopath.

No, but he wasn't evil though, he was just a good psychopathic kid.

You're trying to take over the world like every episode pretendent like, yeah, yes, he wasn't just chilling down there. He was doing wild ship.

Damn, I mean, I am, I'm I'm having trouble pulling up the only the only people I feel like I can pull up are like just people I've known personally in my life. Yeah, I don't think they're evil on a large enough scale to make that count.

I know some people like lovable psychopaths.

Hold on, come on, I think we're in agreement about that. There are plenty of psychopaths that you can love and and we we all agree are not evil. We're saying, can you be evil without being a psychopath? And I don't think you can?

What's a psychopath? Right?

I don't know, and I don't I don't even know.

Chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior. Okay, I don't know if you can be evil without abnormal or violent social behavior exactly.

That's that's that's been my point this whole time. And so I say I say that that while yes, it's looking like a warm summer for y'all, and I hope that you enjoy it. Congratulations on this odd victory that you pulled with. Why is it odd? It's not odd for a rapper to be on stage apologizing because he just wants his friend back.

That's all I thought. You said. It's odd that dark skin is winning.

No, no, no, you're you're so sensitive, uh, which is historically one of your traits.

Maybe maybe I'm the missingly.

Calmed down sweet dark all right, your voice. All I'm saying is is that while the victory is present, I don't believe that you're built to win the war, and I look forward to the championship that we will eventually hoist above our heads as yellow as our skin, golden even amen, I disagree.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm saying I think I think we I think you put us all in a room together, all that ship, all that ship stops.

Nope, yeah, because we're gonna running circles and go nanny nanny boo boo a young.

Yeah, it is very funny. It is very fascious. You're saying boat, it's not a light skinned man. It's all I'm saying. We got fast ones too.

He ain't running, you know, he ain't showing up for that. All right, This is fun, Reggie, this is great. Could you tell the people where they can find you on what cool shit you have going on?

You can find me on Instagram. Retch Conquest or Conquest. I'll be at DC improv the nineteenth through the twentieth and everything else.

I'll post about my Auji. Hell, thanks for having me dog. This is great. Nice kicking today. We got to kick in real life on the Yeah, yeah, we gotta beat up Langston because this ship is atrocious.

Good luck catching me, Bory. I want to tell the people where they can find you.

You can find me cornering Lengthy krimin a stairwell. I'm gonna have Reggie down at the bottom. I'll pull the fire alarm. Make sure no one's had a witness. You can find me on the Cool Guy Jokes eighty seven. I'm filming my own special with my own money in Denver, Colorado, May eighteen. Uh, it's gonna be. You're gonna see links go up for the tickets. Really small rooms, so tickets are gonna go fast. I would love as many little mamas to be there as possible. Once again, that's May eighteenth. To watch my Instagram. You will see it. Also, Netflix is a joke. Sunday, May fifth, my birthday. I'm gonna be there with Langston Kerrman. Will this be the dark skin light skin face off that he's been talking about maybe who knows, You're gonna have to buy a ticket and find out. Find out for morning too. That's just about sold out, so get it before you know what I mean. If you want to see Dark Skin Justice, if.

You believe, you believe, Yeah, Boga booga. As always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman. I'm not gonna address this, and always you can follow me at Langston Carrman on all social media platforms. And it just got announced yesterday, but I've been working on this show called Everybody's in La with John Mulaney. It's going to be happening throughout the Netflix as a Joe a Joke Festival May third, May sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth. There'll be live shows, live programming on the Netflix App. We would love for y'all to check that out. And I'm going to be in it a little bit and i wrote a bunch of shit for it, so it's very exciting. And as always, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to make a case for why Terrence Howard's math in fact should be the math we teach in schools, send it all to my mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, like subscribe, do whatever else you're supposed to do by the merch at mymama told me dot merch table dot com. That's everything we needed to say. Bye, bitch the government, Proba Bavies, my crumb chips and your names.

Uncle Wala bears are racist.

The old school player for ows and money, our ships and.

Men of turkey stuff. I can't tell me the government

My Momma Told Me

Comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie take a deep dive into the most exciting, groundbreaking a 
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