Did you ever have anything fake? I would have to assume yes. We were at Value City and fucking like Marshalls too much for all of this ship to have made it through completely unscathed. You know what I mean? I got my mom got me a fake fooboo from the African store once. Oh shit, like from like from the African grocery store. You know what I No, I thought you did, like one of the clothing exclusive African stories. No, no, no, no, no no, the African Grocery store when the Southern biptoe and the center and it was like up in the plastic and she no, and I and I and I wore it. She was like, that was next to the papaya. Give me that. I'm gonna I want my boy to wear it. No, I think I asked her for it, but I think it was like I knew I couldn't get a real fooboo where I was just like, if you have one, share one opportunity for racists money stuff. I can't tell me. Angela Bassett did the thing. Viola Davis, my woman queen. There it is there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama told me the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy periods and we finally work to prove that the next edition of the National Treasure Series is going to be Nicolas Cage trying to steal the diamond out of Little Oozy Verb's forehead. That's right, That is the most precious jewel that the America has the offer at this point, and you know Nicolas Cage is gonna get it. Yeah, man, that would be great because of the history involved. Wait, the history of Little Easy Verd's purchase of it, or the history between Little Oozy Verd and Nicolas Cage both. Okay, those movies always have a lot of fun history. Yeah, they do have a lot of fun history. And I have to believe that Nicolas Cage and Little Oozy vert have. They've rubbed shoulders a few times. Man, you walk into a bar and that's going on, what do you do? Fuck? Sit down and hope for the best. You know what I mean? I mean, you're going to be doing some weird shit. Yeah, like weird famous, like rich guy. Because I met you, wuz very just weird famous rich guy shit. I don't mean like kissing, I mean like like shooting up a dreena chrome or something like that. Right, I worry that if if two weirdos like that get together, it's them trying to out weird each other in a way that's that's almost inauthentic. Whereas like if little uzi Vert just is hanging out with you know, just a decent man a Denzel Washington, it's he probably is really fucking weird and it's just so natural to his spirit. You think. I've always thought that Denzel Washington must be weird though. I think Denzel Washington is the nigga. I think that. I think that, but he just he's never slipped up. So I'm like, you don't get you don't keep that tight a grip on it. I'm like, you know what I mean, unless you don't want it to. It's like John Javolta never telling anybody he's gay, Like, yeah, you know what I mean, it's like the grip is too tight. Yeah. What has Denzel done ever? No, the closest we've ever come, and this is very recent, was him almost getting in that that weird tift at the UH basketball game. Yeah, what was that? And I know he was like kind of like laughing it off at the end, but that nigga wasn't playing he was oh no, no, no, the whole posture of it. Yeah, that was mount Vernon. Denzel, you forget this. Nigga's name is Denzel, Yeah, Denzel Washington. Yeah, and made it out of a part of New York that just got okay for people to travel to, you know what I mean, Like it's just now hitting uh like, oh you could we could maybe try to gentrify this at some point, man. See that's what I'm saying. We gotta get Denzel and cut m I want to. He's just signing his DVDs down a girl's booty hole, just just John Q down a girl's booty crack. He's smoking. Didn't tell you, wild boy man for being able to tuck that shirt in the way you do. Good for you. No, he really, he's like he's never slipped up. And that's how you know. That's how you know it. That's how you know it. You know what the sign is. He's a he dresses like a motherfucker that that don't play none of this ship, you know what I mean, Like he'll play all the games'll be a part of all the things. But he's gonna put on some big old baggy uh semi track pants and and I technically a tuxedo shirt, but it ain't really you know what I mean. It's just like whatever he had he dresses what Obama? Yeah, it's like, all right, if you could play, why are you always in sweatpants? But yeah, I don't play basketball and pants on all the time. What's up with your leg? Yeah? So tight? You just shouldn't tucked in size. Yeah, this is this is this is a little too weird. Man. What was his name that he called himself when he played basketball? I read it in his book Obama had like a special name. He was like, Yeah, when I was when I was when I when I was at school, I was Barrock. But when I was on the court, Oh what was it? Oh? He called himself? He call him up Barry Obama, which is the worst. Oh no, it's the worst basketball. No. That feels like somebody wrote that on an end one T shirt. It feels like that faceless bald man should be like saying that and the president standing next to him like, yeah, we need to bring him back. The faceless bald dude from an as a child as a boy, I was scared of that guy. That dude. You know what, you know what occurred to me very recently is that dude in my mind was always a black guy. And he and he's not. He's white on in every depiction of him. No, that's not correct. You. You're saying that despite the white flesh that they always kept him in, there's blackness underneath that. I'm saying, it's impossible that the one guy would be with Do you hear what you're saying. No, I don't like it either. I'm not promoting this. This isn't This isn't an ad. Anybody that's listening, I I support a black and one guy. I'm saying that, like the flesh that they gave him was always white. No, he was. He was asking. He was asking right because ball was life. He was truly dedicated to the game enough that he wasn't even showering, scratched up and sleeping streaks. He was glad. He was gray. He was gray, he was not white. Okay, that's crazy. You you saw neutral at all times. I saw a man. No, I know what you saw underneath that. I'm saying, the physical flesh. You've been very clear about what what race you think he is and I is. Yeah, are you saying none of that either, he's a dude playing basketball yelling at you. Yeah, we've all been there. No, he's It was a black man in my mind. But but you're saying that on a physical surface level, it was a neutral gray more than it was a white tone tea. Yeah, I'm seeing it wasn't a fleshy white man. No, I didn't. I didn't say a pale pink. I'm just saying a It never occurred to me, even once as a child, that that was a white man. It was just always a black man despite the color. Yeah, he's very confrontational in a way that maybe he's earned, which it's not clear at this point. Yeah. Yeah, did you have any early and one apparel? I had all of it. I I that was what I spent my money on, do you know what I mean? Those? That was the gift that I was seeking was get me a new pair of two toned and one shoe. Those shoes were the worst though, the shoes. I didn't go to shoes. I knew better than shoes. Yeah, those shoes were insane, But but come on, man, you have one of the ship talking T shirts and the matching shorts and shorts. Yeah, I get the shirt and the shorts, and then that's that's that's good. That's ninety six. That's good. Come on, man, I was that good. That's good. Yeah, that's good. That was back when when it was cool to just buy the same thing that everybody else bought. Kids. We well, you didn't even want fancy colors. No, you kids had it easy back then. As far as fat kids today are going through, it went with this fat and shit. You think so? I think so. I mean, I think they get to be so much more adventurous and like experimental than we can. But they also are like they gotta keep up, you gotta really like it don't seem to go fast. But it's like a lot more nostalgia based than it was when we were kids. So they have a template we were taking in all new ship. Yeah, I guess. But imagine if you had to live through your your platinum Fubuo era and your Jibbo era at the exact same time. That's such a complicated switch between. That's a that's a combination though, But that's what you want to die. You can't wear those both at the same time. That's what I'm saying, that's what they're trying to. Come on, man, it's Tuesday. Yeah, you're doing too much, bro nobody, you're living reckless. Baby. We can't even sit you down and talking to you about We all said we would try heroin. We didn't say we would we would to heat it, we would do you snort a little bit and you see what that does? You know you did you rock your botes? Did you ever have? You know? What? It was my my My parents refused to buy them because of how expensive they were. So I got really lucky that that didn't become my My problem, my problem, and it's honestly a worst problem than your bo was. My problem was I got real into two Echo. I was, oh, man, it was such a short short amount of time that that was worth the worth it. Echo went bad quick, That milk soured immediately so fast. So I think Echo had a good two years. Then the white guys had it, and then they gave it to the white guys on drugs, and I was, yeah, yeah, that's that's the perfect tracing of the Echo journey from it went from niggas to white dudes on skateboards to the drug addicts that used to ride skateboards, and and it was over. Yeah, now you see a crackhead and a Marcuto exclusive. Yeah, echo was damn do you were? You were bugging? There's no reason, No, let me find them. They weren't that bad, but I was bugging. We man, I didn't really put together well as a child. I'll tell you. I'll tell you the truth. Oh man. Yeah, let's get into this email. We have an email, and it arguably the shortest email we've we've received maybe ever, certainly in recent months from a person name and I'm gonna butcher her name, but is it Catedra. We're gonna say, is her name? Catedra sent us a message and and she said, very simply, she didn't even greet us, by the way. I don't like that. Sh I don't like an overfamiliar greeting, and I don't like an underfamiliar greeting, right, black agreeing. Yeah, she just like walked into our house and started talking. And it's like, hey, wait a minute, take your shoes off, yea me, put your hand out for my dog. Let's let let them know that that you're a good person. And then we talk about your conspiracy theory. It's a power thing. You gotta her dominance, that's on you. No, okay what Cathdra sent us an email where she said I heard, and then she goes into quotes the media or to parentheticals. Immediately after she says I heard, I heard means social media of course. Lol. She says, I heard that white people get buried within a few days of death because they turned dark after death. Four exclamation points. Where are you at? What you feel? She's saying, the white man goes has to go into the earth fast because his transformation is sudden into a dark skinned person. I mean, it's only dark skin in literal skin tone. It's not like they get like bushy hair and big old juicy lips. Their noses widen widen, like the like the river that Moses parted. Yeah, I mean, honestly, I could believe it. I've always never been this might be, this might be controversial. White people's skin it's not good. Whoa. Yeah, it's just very splotchy and a lot of colors. Yeah. There are times where I'll be like, oh, that girl's beautiful, and then I'll imagine seeing or naked and It's not that it's not beautiful underneath, but it certainly is a thrill is gone, you know what I mean in my mind where I'm like, yes, that's all right, Okay, No, I'm confused. What do you What do you mean by that? I mean, like you you imagine the beauty of the naked lady, and then you're like, but with white skin, it takes a little bit out of it, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, a little bit off the tip where you're just like, yeah, that's not how I I'm just gonna say it might be racist. Dark nipples look better, dad, And and let's be clear, it is racist. We're we're both big. We are deep in right now. There's no version of Andrew Schultz having this conversation a real big problem. Yeah, we can we cross that. This is like this is like, this is like this conversation is like what like Republicans use as like fodder, like see what they think, see what they think. Now, if this gets picked up by Tucker Carlson, we gotta be like, yeah, you're right, big Doug, you got that one. No, I'm gonna stand on it because then everybody's gonna send me dark nipple picture. It's chest, it's not checkers all right, hell yeah, as long as you're said, as long as you're forwarding those dark nipples, yeah, I'll support you one hund But back to the skin thing. Yeah, let's be sure that our white listeners understand white listeners yuck. Anyway, keep going the skin stuff. I mean that seems real because there's there's skin does feel very temperamental though, in that like discoloration and whatnot is pretty common, So that doesn't seem that doesn't seem crazy to me. I believe that that's that's not even a stretch, right, Yeah. I feel like it makes me think about like all the depictions of people in zombie films, you know what I mean, Like they're always dark skin. Ain't no light skinned zombies, you know what I mean? Like yeah, yeah, no, you're right, it's all samoans. It's not like the darkest people always, but they're always that color shift happens fast, and I know that they'll claim that's because of rot and dirt or whatever the fuck it is, but also some of that ships because y'all be turned in colors when you Yeah, I mean they all times look like and can I talk right here on this podcast. Another guy I don't trust. You, don't trust Jason Momoa. I don't trust him like I don't trust Sarry Cruise. Who oh, he rubs you that wrong. It's pretty bad. I went to a premiere of a show he was in and he was like, he was wearing a white vest, which is already like, brother, this is like a Joday concert. You're doing it. You're doing a lie here, Yeah, a lot of beads and like he and he did the hawk up by himself, oh, which felt real, like what you're doing that right? Man? You ain't. You ain't doing that on every set? Why? Why? What is that? And then I looked it up and he's like, hold on, let me double check to make sure I'm not going in. But I'm pretty sure he's not Maori. So then it's just like he knows that, he knows that he looks like them, so he could get away with doing it. Is I don't, beautiful man, but I don't trust him. WHOA, this is heavy. I thought you were gonna say you didn't trust him. The reason I don't trust something he seems like he hugs too hard, you know what I mean? Yeah, but he also seems like he doesn't uh know that other people don't, you know, bench press whatever he bench presses, and he kind of like makes it a power thing to like grip you up and give you a knuckle sandwich. And it's like, bitch, I gotta I gotta child, I'll kill you, right, I don't knuckle sandwich meat, you big motherfucker. I got nothing to live for. I'll be hug you and jump down the stairs. I don't give a fun Yeah. No, there's no world where you're gonna like you're gonna give me a fucking noogie in front of my child, and I gotta be like, yeah, my buddy Jason, fuck yeah, I'll shoot you in the foot. He'll call you little guy in front of your wife. Yeah, it's like, you know you already know my wife wants to fuck you. Why would you do that? Why would you even talk to me like that? You know my wife would leave me for you in a second, and you're gonna speak to me that way in front of a family. I don't think she would leave me, but I definitely think she would go away for two weeks. Yeah, you kind of got to though. I wouldn't stop her. Yeah, nothing, I'm not gonna block the door. I'd be like, no, I understand, we listen, We've had at least versions of the conversation. Oh really, Well, she told me at the time she wanted Michael B. Jordan, so that was her past where she would if it came up, if he somehow was was trying to fuck her, then then go ahead, shorty, I can't stop that. And and I got Rihanna and oh nice. Yeah, and it's like Noah. At the time especially, it was like, no, this ain't this ain't a non achievable goal. Now it's probably it's probably too far. Yeah, no, it's too She's she's too happy in a way that is impenetrable, at least at the moment. But I'll hold out hope. You know who I would leave my fake wife for. Yeah. I love Roberta by the way. I think she's a lovely woman. Yeah, she's good, she's good. She's down on the islands, but she'll be back here. I would I would leave my fake wife for. Do you remember the women on the Outcast CD? Whoa wait on on the on the actual CD? Like now you're talking about on Stankonya. No, every c every outcast CD. It was like a naked woman. Oh that's right. Yeah, I'll admit that that. I don't know that I owned anything but the Love Below thank Gonya for CDs. Yeah I didn't. Those were the two that I owned. Everything else I like Napstered and ship Okay, here I see I got a picture the one. This is the one from the Greatest Shits album. Mhmm, I'm excited. You should be. It's a it's a it's a big deal. You see it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, hell yeah yeah, you would leave your fake wife for her in a second. I thought about it a lot. Yeah. Just a lady with with big old titties and insane clown clown posse makeup. That's still described. Don't don't do that to me. Just a just a bad bit juggalo is. That's not what it is. That's not what it is. That's not that's happening. So you are on board with the possibility that white people turn colors at death, I'm pretty sure they do. It's also because like you ever see like a national geographic where they discover like fifty thousand year old man found in the ice it's always like a like a burnt dark orange. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're never pulling uh Tom Holland out of the ice. Yeah yeah. I mean that's that's the thing about white can't take it with you. Maybe that's why they live like that, Like I only get to be this for a little while, Bro, I can't. I can't have regrets. I can't spend the whole time feeling so bad because you got mistreated. Fuck that shit. I'm I'm living to the fullest. It's the first thing. It's it's kind of like the first thing they lose after death. Yeah, They're like, this is gonna go away. It goes away immediately, and people are gonna talk to me different. I can't. I can't be sensitive to I guess doesn't matter. They got to bury them before they find out it's black people, because then it'll be even longer till they bury, right, Well, that's my question. They got them in the ground before their status changes. That's my big question in this is I I guess I wonder is it it in in this theory? Are you imagining that they are in fact becoming black? Like is it just that your skin darkness or are you thinking like, no, you are. We are, at our beginning a black person, and then they they somehow evolve very temporarily into white and then devolve or re evolve into an I didn't. I don't. It feels like eugenics almost. Yeah, that's how I was thinking. I don't think like their nose broadens. I think they just I think the color of their skin is not it's very temporary. I don't. Yeah, I think it goes away. And that makes sense to me. This thing that they hold precious is in fact just a blip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're gonna look like me longer than you're gonna look like Yeah. All right. I like that. Well, maybe we should take a break. Let's let's take a break, because we apparently are obligated to sell things to you. We're gonna take a break so that you can buy things, and then uh, then we'll come back and we'll talk more about this. We'll be back with more. My mama told me, who, I think I'm looking forward to cracking up. I hope I can, like you totally crack up, so I have, I'm like totally cracked up in a long time. Welcome back to my mama told me. We are discussing pink or brown nipples. You decide there's only one right answer. Yeah, it's not. Uh yeah, No, we're talking about whether or not white people lose pigmentation after they die. Is that? Yeah, have they become or gag melanine. Let's let's make it half full. I don't think that's what's happening though. Yeah, you're just saying they lose whatever that pink hazes and yeah something else whatever that. Yeah, whatever happens with that. Well, I'll say this, this is a conversation that apparently, and Olivia sent us a bunch of great research for this. Olivia did a lot of hard work that, frankly, I was unwilling to do this time around, I said, I slammed my hands on the desk and I said, I'm done. I'm done reading read for me. I screamed at her, ugly, you're disgusting. I'm gonna kill you. Give me two hundred dollars. I screened that at her, and Olivia she said, she said yes, sir, and she she ran off and she she came back with gorgeous research. But apparently this is not as far from a real thing as the immediate sort of concept makes it seem. In fact, there are a bunch of there's a couple of Cora questions of people saying, uh, specifically, why is the face of a dead body black after only ten hours? Which I don't know if this person is meaning this in a racial way, but it feels racialist out Yeah that's ten hours, Yeah, ten hours apparently this this person is black. And there's a few responses. Uh. The most sort of engaged one is, uh, somebody saying, why are whites buried so soon after dying? I'm white as wonder bread, all right, but I embalm at several traditionally black funeral homes. The industry is ridiculously Wait. Yeah, you there's a lot going on with this person. Yeah, he embalms it several black children. She embalms it several black Is embalming a different job than owning a funeral home? Yeah, well, embalming, I think falls under the window of the funeral home the purview. So if they hire outsource it, no, I'm sure they have to hire specific staff. Like I think it's probably like a skilled job. And I thought that was the job of a mortician. Thought that's what I think a mortician, uh is more of like a managing officer in a thing that may or may. They may do that right. Some morticians might do their own embalming, But if I'm a successful mortician, I might hire another individual to be like my, yeah, my embalmer as it were. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't I ain't never been up in there, so maybe I'm completely off there. But she said the industry is still ridiculously segregated in the US, especially in larger metropolitan areas. For these places, the average whole time is nine days from embalming to burial. I've held bodies for as long as four months and to open casket. Even the funeral homes, though if they had to hold a body for more than three or four days, they get nervous. They never learned how to use introphiant properly. I guess it really all comes down to culture and traditions. She goes on to say a bunch of other shit that hang read it because it's you know, she's showing off. Now, He's like c O two mixed with D O. Dick is like, all right, I don't so what you're saying is so they could they could stop it? They just don't. I guess I think that's what that that at least that sentence implies, is that like, if they learn to use it properly, then maybe the decay or this this sort of weird change in color would would happen differently. But she also is acknowledging that, like, there's clearly a culture that supersedes this for a reason, and it doesn't seem completely like, oh, we just we just prefer it that way. It's almost like y'all are hiding something. Also, four months, black people, we gotta do better. Yeah, if you left it for four months, just leave her, bro, It's not you're bailing somebody out of jail and you're like, oh, I guess he's in there. Least you gotta Yeah, you gotta just leave her. Just make that as somebody else's problem, because you clearly you didn't either don't you don't care, or you don't have the means to care. You really, you gotta put those funds somewhere healthier. If it's four months of waiting. Hey, if somebody died and I didn't want to pay the barrier, could I burn them? Oh? No, I don't think you can do that. I Well, I think number one, I think that uh that that those things are built to actually like incinerate bodies. I think whatever you'd be doing at like the crib is uh, it ain't gonna make the body completely go away, nor the fumes, nor the UHT diseases being spread in the air. I'm putting like a brick of it in the back like one of those Yeah. I don't think you're just supposed to sniff like people chips, you know what I mean. Like, I don't think that's supposed to just be out in the world like that. They didn't they did in the in the in the dark ages. Remember when they everybody had to blake, they had to burn all the bodies. Yeah, and then they lived to twenty eight big dog. I think I'm saying, just me in a controlled environment in my yard, I'm saying, this is America. I should be able to burn my burn my dad. Listen. It's not It's not policy that I'm I'm pushing back against as as inside of this as much as safety. I think it's a safety issue, all right. Yeah, I don't think we're supposed to do like Grandma Inhalentce and and expect to like be able to touch our toes tomorrow. You know, I guess it's because of that. I used to remember beating seagull. He was like, I used to wild off environment fluid, and I really thought I used to think about that a lot. Yeah, so you're kind of hoping maybe you could burn your person and get a little high or like some kind of like a fun Disney movie, my friend comes back. Yeah, like the sixth Man kind of situation comes to me with my homework. I got you, I got you. That's what happened in How High? Right, I think so, I think that was the whole thing, was that their their friends friends was the two friends or just one friend, they weren't friends. Method man was friends with the guy. Yes. So so he dies and method Man sort of takes over his uh his life. No, No, No, isn't that it that he that he was? Like? He dies and then method Man uses his ashes to fertilize a wee blind right, so then they can see him afterwards. Yeah, and then for some reason, No, I don't think that was I don't think he knew that was gonna happen. No, I'm saying, but that yes, you're right that it's not so that, but and then they can see him after words. Yeah, and then but but doesn't isn't there an element of them like pretending to be somebody else like they weren't. Were they just going to genius college because they were geniuses because they like they were. They were taking the entrance exams and Ivory came and gave them the answers to the entrance exams and then they got like perfect scores and that's how they got right. And then they had to like figure out a way to like be smart at Harvard to match the scholarships that because they ran out of Ivory. M fuck. And then yeah, it gets real off the rails at the end. Yeah, I really I remember really liking that movie, and uh, I loved it. I don't think I can go back. I don't think there's any version of being able to go back and feel that same joy. No, red Man and method Man is still hilarious. Yeah, they're pretty great. Method Man, I would say, has turned into a sexy flexi fucker in a way that I was at Weights. I don't love it. If I'm being real with you, I was like, I'm not I'm not hating. He's gorgeous. He's fucking He's a gorgeous, fucking specimen of a man. And frankly, I don't know if I were that gorgeous. He's like six four, he's fucking jacked as shit. He's got a strong, chiseled jawline and new teeth. He's gorgeous. That said, I don't know that that's the dream I had for Method Man when I was he was the funny rapper. Him and Red Man were so funny, and it's like I wanted you to be a silly billy forever, and he was. He was also like low key kind of dirty. Yeah. He was like, which I don't like it as a dirty dude. It's like, we do need you hot dirty dudes. O. Red Man was for real dirty yeah, and the Method Man was like playing dirty with this. Yeah he was dirty. He was dirty on the week. Yeah. Remember but he had like the one video you have like half of his hair braided, but it's like, yeah, we know you're and he had like the wonky eyeballs, like we know you're still handsome. Yeah, now you're you're trying to keep up with these actual ugo killers that you remember, yeah, and and so you're like making yourself a different a different thing than you are. You got a friend named old dirty bastard. Yeah, who hasn't explained it to us once? Who hasn't like you know what I mean? He never was just like yo, here's the essence of the thing. He's just like, nope, that's my name. But girt, I really love that guy. Man. It's a lot of it speaks to who I am as a person. I always thought that I was great. He again that he was a funny motherfucker. Right, But if he if if he then suddenly showed you his abs, you'd be like, I don't like that, old yeast man. What if we live on what if you live on? Enough for odi? Beat? Again? I don't make you whatever you buff? I don't know, man, he got at Danny Brown is like borderline handsome now, you know what I mean? And that motherfucker that yeah, he like got his teeth fixed and got a haircut and like dies it now And like Danny Brown is a good looking dude. And that's not how we got introduced to him. That what is going on? Danny Brown came out and looked like he went through a blender to get his deal, you know what I mean, Like he fucking that was the best part. Yeah, that was the man. Is there no more dirty dudes? I don't. I don't know, I think, And then all the white dirty dudes keep getting caught up in their sexual mischief. So yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, Shila Buff, he's off the court now, he's not a real dirty dude, though he's from Hollywood. I'm just saying that's that's the white representation for dirty dudes, right, But I'm saying Shyla Buff doesn't like wear the same T shirt two days ago, I think, But they're all yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I think he does do it. But it truly is like, oh, I know, I'm gonna see the same paparazzi twice and I want to fuck with him kind of thing, right right? Yeah, Because isn't he like a like a dummy? I don't know he I know he I recently found out that that he made up the whole thing for honey Boy, that like his dad wasn't nearly as uh abusive and his life wasn't nearly as hard as bro. I knew that shit was fake when I saw honey Boy. Oh you mean this little boy satisfied a grown woman sexually a prostitute? Oh he made that up? Yeah, of course that part I thought was fictionalized. But I thought his dad yelling at him and fucking making him do scenes over and over again was real. He's probably I think he's probably just a talented actor. Yeah, he fucking nailed honey Boy because I believed him and Buddy you were lying. Yeah, yeah, I used to like even Stevens. But do I think that white people's skin changes when you I don't know how we got here. Who could track it. It'd be impossible to track We could read the transcripts and be like, what the fuck happened? Right? Did a did? Did Thano snap a little bit? Right here? And then? And then we came back on the other side of it. Dude, I'm just glad to have a witness to this because that's you know, I think happens to me a lot, but like when you're alone, it's a lot more jarring. Yeah. Sure, it's like, oh no, I literally may have like had a stroke. Yeah, like you just like you ever, just like come to when you're watching like a johem video and you're like, Hi, the what the fuck? Yeah? Time war up. In my end, it's three o'clock. This video is played three times. What am I doing? Shout out? Shout out to Jahim if he wants to do the show. Jahim, if you're a regular listener and interested in doing the show, show up wearing that, uh, that that Leperkin colored suit. Will will talk to you about whatever you want. If you show up wearing that sweet gorgeous green suit that you had on. Olivia sent us some additional information that's worth talking about. Apparently, this this uh, this thing of white people turning dark is something called liver mortis. Liver mortis, also known as post mortem livid lividity or post mortem hypostasis, refers to the pulling of blood in the lower portion or dependent parts of the body after death. This results in dark, purple discoloration of the skin. I mean, Bros, But I've always I've been I've been on board with this the whole time. I think it makes perfect Yeah, I believe it. I also think, just for everybody, it's good to get your people buried fast when they die. I I don't think we need to be burying people anymore. It feels like a frankly and outdated thing. And and you know, but that's that's preferential. I'm not here to campaign, although I don't think so. I think burn me up and and don't keep the ashes either, like just lose them shits. I don't give a fuck. Like, I don't like it. I it's like a weird step that I'm I'm not super comfortable with. But I also recognize that, like I believe in giving up my I don't give a fuck about like dying with worldly possessions and holding onto these memories in a physical way. I believe in remembering people through your heart and your mind and shit. So like I get that that may that that doesn't jibe with everybody, you know what I mean, some people need the physical to to feel the same shit that closure. Yeah, it seems expensive to me, Like every time I go to a funeral, I'm like, there's a lot of shit out here. Yeah, it's fucking Funerals are dumb expensive And if you don't do it at a funeral home, you gotta do it at or like you know, at an event space, you gotta do it at at a church with a dude who didn't know the person that well that you know what I mean, Like, it's fucking weird. Also, I've moved around so much of my life. I don't want to be tethered to one place. M black. Now, you guys just gotta come to fucking Albuquerque to see me, because that's really or wherever. Oh no, I don't. I don't need you seeing me around other dead people, you know what I mean, these fucking losers. I wanted to believe like I'm special and ship, but you're like, nah, just put them where all the other duds go. It's like that's you put it. Put them with all the other rotten fruit. Like, nah, come on, man, I didn't know I'm me. Yeah, I'm special. Put just you know, you should do a sky burial like the Buddhists. Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah, I'm scared of heights and also the ocean, so I've never felt I don't know if you know what I mean by sky burial. Oh is that the one where they just throw it in the air. Well, you know, they just put you on like a mountain side. You just kind of decomposed. Oh, oh, this is an ashes, this is your physical form. You just go and then you just up there. Damn. Yeah, I think I don't think it's legal everywhere. I don't think it's legal anywhere. I don't think anybody's like, yeah, leave it behind. Who I mean, it's not like I'm not you're not putting it in the village square. I'm talking about like out of the way. Yeah, but then kids wander and fucking people go hiking, and shit, you don't want to come across a dead body and be like no, no, no, that's one of the uh, the ones we put their own purpose. Oh man, you look it up. It's the pictures are terrible. Yeah. No, they just don't do that. Oh god, damn. I supposed to put bodies just out loose. I mean, you just said yourself, you don't care about this mortal coil. Yeah, but but burn me up, give me a good solid burning, and then you can do what you wish. Nobody's gonna be like those are dead body ashes. They'll be like, I think, I think a small tree burned down right here. Well, I think did it. I think we did it. I think I think, uh, we we nailed this conversation perfectly. No, nothing was left on the table everybody's satisfied. Uh, cathedra I, I hope you're pleased, baby girl, because it seems to us that that this is one hundred percent true that white people do transform almost immediately from the end one guy physically to the end guy no, seeaw, we ride a full circle. Ain't that fun? A little? I like that? Yeah, he was he was not he was a white man. We we want to end this episode with a brand new segment. We have a brand new segment of uh that we've we've come up with. I'm stuttering because it's it's it's a little nerve wracking. The the segment we're entering into were we're breaking a seal on this show that we've never broken before. And I want to address it now so that our listeners don't curse us the fuck out when it when it actually happens. But for the first time ever, we are going to have white people on the Show's not on the show in the typical fashion. Now, we're not inviting them on for separate They got a much smaller water fountain on the show than everybody else. But we're playing a game. We're a game called Ask a White Guy, Ask a White Guy. And we're gonna feature featuring three of the most brilliant, well known conspiracy theorists out there. They love to talk this conspiracy theory shit. And and who better to ask uh than these white guys if we have to talk to white people at all, you are halfway? Yeah, but you know we got problems. Yeah yeah, so yeah, so what fuck you? All? Right? Uh? Now we're I thought I thought I was. I thought I was cruising baby, not at all over you know, you know when you you add a little a little extra break in it just to make it feel gentle and licensing. Oh nine, I haven't seen the road since I was making a conversational, relevant, giant and thematic. But now I'm embarrassed. We have We are going to play a game. This is a very exciting and arguably the most uh epic change that we've ever introduced to the podcast. But this is a game called Ask a White Guy. Ask a white guy? Why we spell the whole world here? Were pronounced that? H It's very important. But we we have I would say, the foremost white men that we could be asking about conspiracy related things joining us today. We have the gentleman from stuff they don't want you to know the podcast and now the book. It's No Brown, it's Ben Bowling, and it's Matt Frederick. Everybody, yeah out of here. Hey, okay, okay, I'm a big fan. I'm a fan. We listen to the show in our cars, like legitimately, that's that's insane. And and and we were honored. We're We're glad you guys are here. I think you know this. But you're the first white people to ever grace uh, certainly this this podcast will be delicate, will grace it gingle or as I'm mostly white, but thank you for letting me. But brother, that's what they all say. You're gonna drop now. Oh no, no, I'm a from a lungeon. It's a different thing. It doesn't matter. Eltside of Tennessee. Oh shit, I've never even heard of it. So now I'm nervous. We did an episode episode on They have Treasure. I believe is this an island? It's uh, what's called a tri racial isolate, but yeah, this is I don't know, Yeah, yeah, I don't. This feels like something I don't want to get out in the public. And you know, Elvis Malungeon. I think Elvis is Malungeon. Guys. He was from Memphis, Memphis, Tennessee. Yeans dwell, is that it? They're going to add this to like racial training diversity training now in a way that I'm nervous about. I can't. I can't sit through an additional hour of learning about try racialism. Yeah. I just started. I just started being able to deal with bi racial people. To be completely listen, I've been one my whole life, and I get it. I'm still figuring it out. Guys. We're pumped that you're here. That we figured the best way that we could we could play this game and really really get to hear your thoughts. Is that we want to go through some old some old conspiracy theories that have come up on our podcast and just get your thoughts. Where where you land in these things? Have you ever crossed it in your own research? Is it all complete nonsense? And and if so, tell us why that's that's really the game at hand? Got it? Fuck? Yeah, Uh, let's let's just jump into it, guys. Yeah, let's not be scared of it. This This has come up quite a bit on this podcast, and it feels like a very nice entry level conversation for everybody. But the conversation is, my mama told me that mountain dew kills your sperm count. Yeah, yellow, the yellow number five. Yeah, it's actually the ruminaded vegetable oil. Guys, it's a flame. Well that's the other that's the related that's the related thing, right, Yeah, it's the thing that look cloudy. Yeah. Okay, so so this has come up on your own podcast. I assume I thought that was the mountain dew that made it cloudy. Well, that's just great, and it sounds it was. Do you mean to tell me they're not holding these bottles against the rock and just letting a slow drip of the like a giant leaf collecting it and then in the forest. I thought they were tapping straight up to the rockies. I didn't know anytime. Yeah, that's course they're they're using cheaper do from somewhere in college. The original recipe might have had higher actual mountain dew content, but no, now it's yell at number five and what is it? Bromanaded vegetable? Yeah, what's the deal with that stuff? And what is it due to your pen? That's a fire retarded, right man, that's exactly whoa So they were just like, let's what you get for drinking that poison. If you're gonna be this awesome drinking mountain dew, there's a possibility you'll be lit on fire, and we need we need something to prevent that. If you can't tell by my co host awesome comment, he is a dude. Trust it is a point of contention on this. It's it's been an ongoing argument between David and I. I did the dude for a long time. Oh, you're off the dude. I was. I was riding off the dude. Matt. It looks like you also we were a dude, a dude head I was. I was a surge guy. I don't know if you remember that, but that was the ones they put in schools children. Are we allowed to talk about that? That feels like you you admitted to voter fraud? Right right? Can I tell you a scary Surge story. They came to my mostly black boys and girls club. Was like it was like two dudes in a hummer in a skateboard, hopped out skateboarding a bunch and then gave us like Mita and Kansas Surge each and we never saw him again. It was a big deal. It was when my senior year in high school. It was a big deal in our you know town that they brought these soda machines into the schools and they were just Surge brand and soda and they had a total event like that where they introduced it and had like it was it was just like you're describing, that is wild. It was very It was hello, fellow kids. Interest. They also handed out CDs at uh at my Christian pamphlets it was and it salea and in my school, nobody really listened to the music on the CDs they were handing out. It was all. It was just its like a lot of alternative rocks. Whoa, So that's that's interesting that it wasn't. I guess when I when I hear Surge, I thought that they would like go from Metallica or something, but you're like, no, they're going for Christian rock. That's Tony Hawk era. It was Tony Hawk pro skater era. So it was that kind of faux punk mall rock kind of vibe, freecords and whiny voice that my dumb feelings. Yea, yeah, that feels that sound. That feels like a type of of conspiracy in and of itself, that that these people are handing out what seems like a type of propaganda to a bunch of hopefully I guess emo white kids for moving forward. And David for some reason it pairing it with amphetamine and myody, my body was not. Yeah I was, I was sure. Yeah. That's another concern about it, right, is the idea that they're getting to you young, you know, And this is something I heard quite quite commonly growing up. And one of the things that's interesting is the conspiracy itself stays the same and has a lot of the same like motivations and villains and so on, but the drink will change depending on the region, it will be something else. So like in Houston, they thought, right, right, right, just cheer one, Like, seriously think about it, because it's it's going into these schools where there are little kids that are they're not being forced fed this sugary crap, but it's like encouraged, like we're talking about having a surge, you know, uh, Dispenser in your school. I remember me listen, Yeah in ninety nine, if you showed up with the skateboard in a backpack, I was probably gonna drink it. Yeah, million percent do you guys remember Josta with Guarana? Wow, that was the whole name. Was a guy with it? Was it a guy with dread blocks? It was a panther, So it was very much that vibe. It was panther full like red, kind of rasta type colors really culturally, look up, look it up for black panthers, That's what I'm saying. It came out the same time as Surge. Surge was for the white skater kids, and like almost like Josta, it was almost but what's the word I'm looking for? It was kind of divided. Yeah, soda. Nobody knew what Guarana was. Assumed it was. It was an energy drink and it was marketed as their first energy drink, even though technically search you know, considering how much sugar and caffeine it could qualify as that as well. But because yeah, this, I will say, Josta, this is this is this is black as fuck backage, we think about this. I don't remember this, this never. I'm looking at it now, No, I see it. This is yeah, it's will I will say that this this seems like it has similar vibes to like Tahitian treat where like that was being coined as like the sexiest tropical soda for and I remember black people were like, yeah, Tian treat that. Wait, I have another I have another question. When I google image search Josta first line is a bunch of cans of Josta. Secular line is a bunch of grapes who wait, no excuse me. I think that it goes like, oh, they're trying to equate them to say it. It didn't make an appearance in that show low Ki, the Marvel show, Yeah, where they did do some time traveling stuff. There's like it's sort of like the Sought After, you know, defunct Drake from the Past and that show. And if you google it too. On eBay you can buy cans. They're really expensive because it just hasn't existed, like for it, I will this is I it's sounding like and correct me, gentlemen if you feel differently. But it's sounding like there is some level of like we're all in agreement that they're they're trying to trick us and make us buy whatever. But it does sound Matt like you're saying it these things do kill your sperm count? That it isn't question does it kill you? I already made your nuts little Okay, I can't I can't talk to anything. I don't think it makes your your testicles smaller. I don't think. All right, matty bag, all balls over here. So now I gotta figure out a different explanation. All right, No, I think what I think the real problem is. Think about this in context of the DARE campaign. You guys remember that the drug abusing resistance education. Now, so you're you're supposed to say no to drugs, right, and uh Lankston like you, I signed right up for that thing. I don't know why or how, but you're you know, but you're giving Yeah, but you're given a drug. You've got caffeine, you've got guarna. It's not really a drug, but it's it can be used as a drug, as an enhancement kind of thing, stimulant. Yeah. So you tell your grandma you're on she's gonna enough enough sugar is a drug. She's gonna at least pray for you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sugar being being sort of like maybe the most addictive of the things in that list, And and so you are being drugged, and whether or not those drugs have direct effect on your testicles, that sounds like it ain't good for you. Well, yeah, it's it's not some cartel that's benefiting. It's you know, PepsiCo or you know. Well, I mean in a way, yeah, I think pizza Hut that's a yum brands. But also I mean, if you think about the history of like breakfast cereal, you know, originally it was it was all about health and all about being a supplement for like a meal during kind of times of scarcity. But then gradually they started marketing towards kids and putting more and more and more sugar in them and having like cartoon characters and acting like it was part of this balanced diet because they were allowed to say certain things, but they just kept upping the sugar, you know, quotient and the sugar sugar industry paid for the hit piece on fat there's oh, that's because I was watching I was watching The foods Who Built America and they were talking about that cereal thing and how the Kellogg guy, the one brother was like a famous doc who invented cereal as like a super food, like a health food, and then the other brother, Yeah, the factory burned down and he was like, I'm gonna put some sugar in it and flip it. We're all going to be rich, those guys. I was talking about something similar with my wife about Facebook last night, and how like we all remember when Facebook, or at least I think we remember when Facebook was was just for college kids. Email. You had to have a college email, and it like had to be a pretty like it had to be a four year institution, accredited, welcomed by the Facebook community people. Yeah, no Devide, No, No, no Triton, no University Phoenix, yeah, none of that ship. And then at some point they went, well, this isn't a winning formula. Like we it's cool that every college it has one, but I need fucking grandmas and drug dealers on this motherfucker if I'm going to be a success, can we? I mean, you get in situations, you know where you're like, I need some grandmas and some drug dealers and pop. Before we move on from the drinks, though it took me a second. We talk about this in our book in chapter two on human experimentation. If you go back this idea of sterilization in popular like sodas and fruit drinks in April nineteen ninety one, I want to say in primarily like black areas of New York at the time, Harlem, the Bronx parts of Brooklyn. There were these twisters. No, well, let's see how you feel about tops top hoop David and tropical fantasy. These these flyers came out and they said, look, if you are if you're a non white person, you need to be aware that these soda, these drink brands are being made by the ku Klux Klan. Yeah, and they're being made to sterilize black men in particular. You've been warned save the children, and that kind of like who was giving this out? Was it the Black Hebrews realized what they were anonymously posted it. But then you apply that to the mountain dew. You know, you can apply that grain of a thing that what may or may not have been true, but was reported and was probably circulated in the community in those communities, and then it's you could that's how conspiracies travel. It's that gave a telephone and now all of a sudden, it's mountain dew or or and again there is grains of truth. All of these things are not good for you, but are they necessarily trying to sterilize you? Ben. Was there any truth to those drinks or was this a real effort or was it just kind of a campaign. The ku Klux Klan does not have its shit together, you know what nott for them. They're not not flavor wise, they're not coming up with tropical fantasy. That's yeah, and I I will say what they're looking for a cornucopia of fruits that are no, that's not if there was a mayonnaise flavored one, some type of a hearty grain favor. I will say that this does speak very much to the regional quality that you guys were talking about earlier, that like it depends which drink in which neighborhood, because for us that was a conversation around Mystic. We actually did an episode with say Jay who talked about how Mystic was the KKK drink of choice. But all of them, it seems like these narratives happen either way. That if Mountain Dews shrink isn't shrinking your net nuts read whatever the fuck is, and it's all it's it's maybe hopefully just somebody trying to warn us to be healthier with our choices, but it always makes them more or sinister. Turn on the back end. Yeah, well, I mean because I get like Mystic, you're not supposed to put those colors in your body. No, no, no, no, like bowl cleaner, it is probably not the best. Yeah, Neon Blue is never correct for your for your liver and lungs and ship. It's the same company that made Fabuloso. Actually, is the weird thing? Is it? Not? Like the same three companies at the top of almost of just so many things. But what about Fago, Like you have a drink like Fago that's so huge in Detroit, that's just like regionally massive and like ubiquitous there, and they have all those like moon misted and crazy colors like that. But you don't really hear anybody maligning Fago because everybody knows where it comes from. Everybody's on board at the Fago factory. Right, A really good point. It's right there in Detroit. Mystics they just got dropped off in the box. Yeah, they just appeared like the beginning of a twilight zone. You want to know what's scary is that at one point during during Sam's episode, we actually made an attempt to call the Mystic like help hotline whatever the fuck, and it is disconnected them. Motherfuckers don't even they're not even existing anymore. They still sell these drinks, right, this is okay. I I think they're still selling what they have left of the drinks. They're like, we gotta move all this Mystic put it in the by. It's more like dry tonium than it is like, uh, carbon dioxide, if that makes sense. There's a very limited amount you can still buy Mystic. I found it online. Yeah, but are those social cases you gotta we gotta know expiration dates on these bad boys. Damn. You could also buy clearly Canadians still, I might. Vego is owned by National Beverage Corporation, which also owns Lacroix or Lacroix or whatever you call it. So it's it's so it's an illusion. Then this this uh I buy from the same like Baker's doesn't of companies part I know. I know that's what craft beer giant when Giant, you know, Bush Beer buys little mom and pop craft beer, And it's that illusion perpetuating that No, no, this is all bespoken small batch the hell it is. Once they buy it, it just starts going into the production line. You know. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about you white fellas, but we're on the same well, this is just the first question we gotta see. Just wait till we talk about I know some people who would kill you if you told them that their lacroix came from the same place. That's why we do with these shows. They're just they're stirring those those drinks with the same mop, just both places. You're is next to my big red Well, guys, this was this is fucking great. This is We're really glad that you came on. I think David and I thought we would have to brate you for your silly white opinions on things. But but y'all are y'all are cool, y'all? No, I mean this. I mean this in the most positive way. We can't hang out a lot. I mean that is a very good thing, right, Yeah, you're gonna encourage worst things. Yeah yeah, yeah, we anticipated we guys got to come over on our show at some point. Yeah. Yeah again, love that. Yeah yeah, no. I I had a great time the first time, and we would love to join you guys and talk more of the crazies and the not so crazies. Uh No, Ben Matt could you tell the people where they can find you in. What cool shit you have going on? Oh yeah, we're all pointing to each other. We got so nice to each other at the end. Yeah. Yeah, you can find us. We're conspiracy stuff or some derivation thereof on all the social media Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, check us out there. We're always doing weird stuff. You can find our book called an a Burst of creativity. Stuff they don't want you to know where ever you you like to find books. Hopefully we worked hard on I hope you enjoy it and you like the sound of our voices. You can also get the audiobook version. We read kind of round. Robin read the whole thing, and uh, we're put a lot of work into that one as well. Hell yeah, I thought you were gonna say we only read the lines we wrote, and then it's just like it's weird sentences that interrupt other people reading. That's a great idea. Yeah yeah, hey barn uh Well I please anybody listening, go go follow stuff they don't want you to know. It's such a great podcast. Please go buy the book. We are we are big fans. We are honored that you would be our our white uh, cherry poppers of the podcast. I didn't, we didn't. We didn't, we didn't, we didn't both on that David wrote it down and I said, hey, buddy, you sure you want me to say this? And he said, no, say it verbatim. It's like, I choose my words carefully. I don't appreciate being paraphrased, just since. He was like, look, man, I don't write a lot, but this is poetry and I need you to read it the way I wrote it. You guys, remember the cherry popping Daddy's suit Riot? Yeah, suit Riot? No, that was the Brian Seltzer Orchestrat. Oh yeah, No, Zoos suit Riot was cherry popping Daddies. Brian sets Orchestra was wait, no shit, maybe there was like three of those big bands. They all came so quickly, you know they show that was that was a set, sir. But Zoos suit Riot, it's cherry popping daddy. Sorry, I'm gonna say this, and I'm very proud of it. I don't know what the fuck y'all are talking about. There was This is not what this podcast is for. Who that garbage elsewhere? That's goddamn uh. Tom foolery as far as who'll say what blood. We had to give you an opportunity to to rag us a little bit a cherry popping Daddy's get off my cat, damn in our net. We've done so much for that band. We'll get out of here, guys, Thank you again. This was an absolute pleasure, and let's do it again. Let's do it against still uh and and Borie. You want to tell them where they can find you? Oh cool? That joke City seven on Instagram. I have all my dates there. You can't start watching April Thurnam in a cartoon called Royal Crackers on Adult Swimming, then HBO Max the next day. Hell yeah. You can follow me at lengths and Kerman on all platforms and uh as always you can. You can send us your conspiracy theories. You can send us your drops at my mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. Follow the YouTube and I think that's it. Follow the YouTube and buy bitch o Kawala Bears were racist. The Oaks who player for posting money ver She's in many Turkey stuff. I can't tell me. God