My Momma Told MeA Splash of Vas for that Ash (with Candice Thompson)
Is Vaseline better than lotion? Langston and David hang out with Candice Thompson (Nosy Neighbors Podcast) to talk about this skin care conspiracy. The three get into a shiny conversation about this household item and what it truly does to your skin. Is it really a good moisturizer? Also, what's Tussy? This episode will introduce us to a hard decision: cocoa butter or cherry flavor.
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Bye, bitch!
Olivia is asking did anyone use vassaline for school yard frights?
No, because I'm not that up. I didn't grow up around a bunch of women.
Yeah, if you wanted to fight me, you were gonna fight me, Ashley the way.
That plus you that dry ass face.
I do remember that being a stereotype of women greasing their faces so that they wouldn't get cut. But no, I I never personally did that.
That would be crazy up.
The earrings put on the vassline so exactly they couldn't make contact.
Yeah, your hand would just slip off and keep sliding until you fell in your face.
Then you take both your fists and you dip them in tussy and it just.
Now.
Now the blood just slides up the knuckles. The government babies in yours are racist. He owes me money stuff. I can't tell me.
Bust it, baby, There it is, there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode.
Of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and.
We finally work to prove that Jermaine Dupree did in fact give bow Wow human growth hormone so that that nigga would stay little and cute for longer, thus making him more profitable in a market share that needed it. I am Langston Kerman, and I believe the fuck out of that one.
I'm David Borie, and I think they're spitting facts because I don't trust your man anyways. Why do you have so many children at us? Way too many kids and many kids?
And I think he saw the mistake he made with Criss Cross by letting them niggas grow into full humans too.
Fast, because none of us like that. We did not like a grown up Criss Cross.
Come on, man, it grossed me out so fast.
And I had that album and I didn't like it.
Yeah, they got so big, they got mustaches, and we were like, get the the fuck out of here.
They're talking about fucking nobody wants that.
If you don't take y'all ugly asses to the DMV and get out of my face.
Yeah, you're the magany Mac. I don't like that's a little bow. Wow looked like a girl his first five years out. Remember gorgeous, gorgeous, beautiful eyes.
There's that video. I don't know if you remember this.
That of course I remember it, yeah, or that that.
He's like like, yeah, he's like, man, you're cute as hell.
You're cute.
You're a cute little and they're like, hey man.
That's a boy. No he says, he says, that's a nigger.
And for some reason he put that in the Kanye documentary.
I think it was one of my favorite parts because yeah, I did just rewatch it.
Why he was like it was like, how do I justify my uh my relationship with Kanye. I better show them my best work, which is accusing little bow Wow being a cute little girl.
He looked like a little girl there. Though he had beautiful girls.
He did look like a cute little girl. I didn't not still feel uncomfortable with how Coody was responding to a little girl being interviewed, but that's not my business, you know.
He definitely was like you're so beautiful.
Yes, it's like, hey man, I don't think you should talk to a little girl like that either.
But all right, so where's bows?
Oh buddy, I think that's why we're here.
You know.
I just wondered where it turns with they just left you a snoop when you were a little girl, or they.
Dropped him off at Snoop's house and they didn't look back. Yikes, And then Snoop was like, I can't raise another baby, Jermaine, what you're doing?
James Like, it's me don Chichi. Remember when he wanted us to call him that. I do remember that.
I haven't thought about it in a while, but I do remember.
What a strange nickname. I'm not gonna call you don Chichi.
I don't respect you enough to change your name. Jermaine Duprie.
I'm not gonna Jermaine Dupree is a great name. Don chi Chi's gross. No, it's not good.
Our guest today has never asked us to call her don Chichi as far as I as far as I know, I don't know. Maybe there's there's a don Chiche history that we're unaware of. She's she's hilarious, she's wonderful person that I was surprised had not done the podcast yet because she's so funny and we love her so much. You know her from so many things, most of which we can't list because of an ongoing strike that makes things inconvenient for.
All of us.
But she's she's hysterical and We're so happy she's here. Give it up for Candice Thompson.
We need a button, need an award because that was the hardest intro to sit through without chiming in.
Oh yeah, yeah, No, if you've got thoughts, you got to throw them in now.
Oh okay, at the moment, hasn't I feel like the.
Moment this podcast club.
Please understand, we have entire episodes dedicated to bow Wow and bow Wow alone.
So we love yeah.
Him still to this day.
We love him right now.
Some of us more than others, but but absolutely the dedication remains on both ends.
I mean, when you're talking about Jermaine Dupree giving him, was it human growth hormone?
Is that the HG H? Is that what she said?
Yeah?
No, I'm not a learned man, so I don't know exactly what chemicals he was putting in his body, but I know he gave him something to keep that nigga small because.
I feel like hurt people. Hurt people because Jermaine dupre is also this tall.
He's a cute girl.
Come on, maybe it was past that it was done to him right, and then now he's paying it forward.
Because didn't he grow up like on tour with uh did he was?
He?
He on tour like LSG? He was like a dancer when he was a little boy. Yeah something maybe not LSG. That's a weird one that I was like to say, what does he dancing to? Would be a weird That would be a weird group to have a little boy dancer.
Wait, that was a LeVert Sweat, Gil Gil Sweat and Gila.
It was the Avengers of R and B Me's.
I mean, if anybody they did come together like both tronk they absolutely.
If you mean Avengers, you mean the ones that nobody gives a fuck about.
Well, don't do that to my man, Keith Sweat, don't.
That was a real black widow teams up with fren Man don Sheetle's character teams up with with Hawkeye.
As far as sometimes you take the bit too far, I don't like this.
Look.
I just saw a flyer with Keith Sweat's name on it. Him and Tank.
Yeah yeah, what is the today Pleasure Principal and Twisted Yeah they together love sex pain was that Tank song?
All I know is the flyer was on an on a pole like a light post, just like how you say those we buy houses in La.
It's the same shit. I don't so it's a problem.
They just it just had that poster and it said we buy panties.
They don't have social media.
I did see. I saw a flyer the other day, and I think this is now just a common way for these guys to keep making money.
But it was like.
Twelve plus R and B legends all on a single tour together, and it felt like yeah, it was like, yeah, Mandel did post it. It was like Drew Hill and fucking Shy and all kinds of groups that that. It's like, I don't know how y'all are actually getting paid off of this, because this is too many, too many people, too many people.
I would love to see Drew Hill, though, I'd love to see all of them five steps.
No, I would, but it's you know, it's not the original members anymore.
Oh is the fat one still? Then? If you say he's dead to me, if you.
Honestly, I'm starting to get stressed.
Somebody to look it up real quick.
Is the fat dude from Drew.
His name was wood I don't know that wouldn't That wasn't Woody, That was it Wascchio. It was like he was like the sexy vaguely Asian one. Cisco. Yeah, Okayio Woody was kind of like the guy Jazz it was Jazz.
Yeah, yes, yeah. I think that Drew Hill members are probably back together. That would be my I I would assume Larry Jazz Anthony is his name, and I think, uh, I think Drew Hill probably has has not enough going on that they all agree to to link back up. That would be my guess. Even Cisco, Yes, Cisco, Yeah, I can see him com that reconvening, and we do owe a lot to Cisco that I don't think he often gets credited for.
I think a lot of this. Well sure, yeah, they pioneered that matrix technology. Everybody forgets about that where you jump up in the Camera Spins video before the matrix came out.
He ran on top of a sea of women in in the the Thong song video, and he wore his belly out in a way that is very trendy. Now, he was just a trendsetter culturally that I don't think we're ever gonna admit this. His clothes, we're exciting, dog leather, nothing but leather, come on, different animal skins.
He was taking risks, he.
Was taking risks. He was taking risks.
He was a daring motherfucker and and he he, I think also pioneered a lot of like the R and B hip hop collaboration say later, Yeah, no, I mean, although you did do that.
Because I had a hat with an Asian I don't know what it said, but I had one.
Because of them, there was a period where vaguely Asian shit had a deep choke hold in the hip hop community, and I think Cisco Is owed a lot of credit for that. Come on, Lake, Sid, I know you had one of those button downs, you know what? I know you had one of those button downs. You know what I had was I had one of those. I don't know if this was big only in Chicago or if this was everywhere, but there were like those like Chinese hats that like would swoop down, wait like.
Raid yeah that raiding yo, you're wild God.
Raiden hats were real big in the hood, uh during the Cisco era. And I got my mom to get me one from the beauty supply and I never really had the confidence to wear it that often, but.
But when I did, Boy did I feel empowered. Man having a crazy hat. That's the toughest thing to go out in.
You think it's gonna work every time, and then you put it on and you're like, man, I can't I can't wait the bus stop with this.
You know, I had a bucket hat because I thought saw Eric Sermon or Keith mary Ward one in the Dusk Squad video. Nobody was like, hey, if you're a fat kid in a bucket hat, people will make fun of you because you look nuts. There's not enough hat there.
But what I what I was saying is I think Cisco was an early pioneer in in R and B singers being the features on hip hop songs. Like before Cisco rappers weren't like linking up with singing niggas that much. And I think that that he led the way in a lot of ways on that that collaboration there was, yeah, brought them together. Yeah, there were a few of them where where it was like, oh, okay, we could just have a singing singing as dude.
Do this part. Yeah. I like that about it, the.
Best of both worlds. Remember that with jay Z and R Kelly.
Oh that Forbidden album and they did it twice.
I think jay Z would love for us to forget that they made two albums together.
Remember that jay it is.
A dream team combo though doing an unbelievable combination.
That title was accurate.
Yeah, yeah, he was.
Two pedophiles linking up doing.
Their man We're gonna get canceled?
Wait what j is jay Z dabbling in children?
I think there's an argument to be made that if you believe Beyonce is the age that she is, and it was an inappropriate relationship from the start, but.
Also because it piggybacked off of the Aliah thing.
Yes, also that, But I will say I think if you if you stick with it for as long as he has.
It wipes the slight clean.
Candice, I'm sorry that your career is going to take a hit the way that it is by joining up with us this afternoon, but we are very excited you're here. You came with a conspiracy theory that.
I guess bory.
I don't know where this falls in terms of things that you've heard or haven't heard. I don't know that I've ever heard it as a conspiracy theory, but I certainly have heard it throughout my life.
You said, my mama told me using bassling or scan is better than lotia, which is correct. I think insane and I was vassline kid. That's don't do that to me. Come on, I have a very good skincare regimen now. But yeah, I was leaving the house shiny as fuck. I know you.
Okay, Okay, I know. That's what I'm saying. You look like a vasoline kid. You look like every kid that I knew and Gret. Look, we had tubs of vasiline in my house too. Okay, this is not a vasaline shame podcast.
And it is only sold in a tub.
Like giant tubs. Yeah it's different.
Yeah, no one's ever bought it though, nobody ever remembers by No, it just is it just there.
Yeah, So Candace, tell us everything you know, tell us tell us what you have.
Oh I don't. I don't know much. All I know is that black people love moisturization. That's where you know the phrase black don't crack. I think, yes, a lot of it is genetics, but I think even more so is the moisturization regimen that black moms teach their kids. Sure, the layering of the oils is always uh you know important. All right, multiple coconut oil, you said, I said, multiple oils, multiple some solids, some bombs.
Absolutely, absolutely so.
Vacilline to me, we were in my layering household was more of a ceilant. We would put on lotions first and then the vacoline would come to seal it in moisture. Yes, also fun if you're swimming, because then if you go swimming and then the know the layer of vacline, the water would just beat up on you.
Yeah.
Yeah, a protectant against the chlorine in the pool.
It's much like that outer layer around the earth of ice that people talk about. What's that the asthenosphere or something. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. I'm familiar. I wasn't gonna be brave enough to use the word that you used, but I started going and I just had to. Like, I didn't feel confident at all.
But I'm not confident you said the right thing.
But it was probably.
Spear.
Yeah, sounds Greek. I think it's absolute.
Hold on. It is a thing. It is the upper layer of the Earth's mantle, below the liptosphere, in which there is relatively low resistance to plastic flow, and convention is thought to occur.
Mm hmm.
So let's not look any deeper than that. You heard it.
You heard it here first, folks, my boy knows some words.
But at the end of the day, yes, you I know what you mean about putting on lotion and then trapping the lotion with a sheet of vessel.
Correct.
So this is this is what they, your parents, your family are encouraging you to do. Frankly, I as enforcing you to do, as many of our families have. Is it something you have maintained in your adult life? Do you continue to vasilene as an adult?
Now Here's the thing is, there's been a lot of vasoline hate over the years.
You can hear. There was Shane.
When David started, he was like, don't you call me a vasaline kid?
Like you right there?
Because you were walking around crazy shiny. I did look nuts. Yeah, like it looked like I was like a fucking fried cook or something like. It was there's like a sheen.
Yeah you said that, and he immediately put his dukes up old style.
Absolutely, how dare you?
I had a friend who knew a kid who went to school with him when he was an elementary school who would ride a bike to school and because of the layer of vasoline that was over his face when he got to school, there was nats and like fly Oh no, oh.
Poor guy, Oh poor face. I hope that's what you called him.
Oh no, he didn't do to.
He went to one of my close friends back in when I was growing up. He went to his school, so I didn't know the kid, but I my friend is mean, so yes, he probably did call him.
But I gotta get on your as. He can't show up covered in bugs.
Yeah, but you got bugged on your skin. We gotta talk about it.
Yeah, I got this. I got vacilline on my face. I got a deflect from I'm calling it.
I'm gonna be like, excuse me, miss uh, mister Johnson. We can't do math today. This nigga got bugged on him. He got on his forehead. No, no, no, I agree. X was why he does equal seven.
But this nigga got bugs. Wait, Legston, were you a vascoline guy? I definitely dabbled.
I got acne super early, and uh, I think at that point vasilene felt dangerous. You can't you can't mix and match vassalline with a severe acne. So I stopped being a vasoline kid pretty early as well.
Do you feel like your acne humbled you.
It didn't make me prouder, It didn't make me stronger by any means. It definitely kept me in a real, a real sweet pocket of knowing who the fuck I needed to be at all times. I knew who I couldn't talk back to, and I knew I knew not to raise my voice at inopportune times, you know what I mean?
Yeah, Oh man, I don't think I could have handled it like bad actne. I think that would have fucked me.
You didn't have you didn't have acne.
No, my skin's always been very clear.
Maybe it's that basoline, is what I'm saying.
Maybe, I mean I think that, like I recall, like at the worst, maybe at like sixteen seventeen, like during football season, where the helmet would rub against my forehead, I would get like pimples there a little bit. But that's about it.
Good for you, man, Yeah, lucky, lucky, Yeah, very lucky.
Yeah.
I had to take accutane like three years ago, just fix the hell that I had long lived through. I was in, I was in final stages.
Of of survival. But you don't have like scars.
No accutane truly is a medical miracle. It just also has like the most risks that.
Will Luckily you're not a person who can bear children because women and reproduction is yeah, and that's.
The bigger thing is that it's actually more of a risk for women because the medical community doesn't give a fuck about y'all. But for men the risks are pretty minimal.
Uh.
And Olivia saying we should get accutained a sponsor, my mama told me, and I'll do it for free. They saved my life. I was gonna be a bumpy whore for the for the ever and always, and Accutain came in and made me different. And I'll never not say nice things about them.
And clearly your sperm still works and your sperm be beautiful.
I actually don't know if that's true. I got my wife pregnant before I started accutaining and she ain't knocked up, so it could have ruined everything. And thank you, Accutane, thank you for all you do.
What a twist this episode took.
Yeah, this wasn't what we we set out to talk about by any means. So Candice, I I don't know that we got to your true answer inside of this. Are you remain Do you remain a gasoline girl to this day?
That was So That's what I was getting to is the there's a lot of information about basiline or petro petro latum is a petroleum jelly, right, it's from petrolatum.
Is where where that it derives from?
And there's a lot of information about petrolatum out there, and I don't know which to believe. There's information that says that it's good, great for your skin, and then there's information that argues against that, saying there's a lot of chemicals in the processing of it and so they can be it can be carcinogenic and stuff like that.
So I don't know.
So because of that, I have not used vaciline because of that.
But my sister, on the other hand, she loves it, okay.
On her face.
Yeah, there is an actual term slugging in the Wait, what do you say?
I was gonna say vasline face, but I think your bug frace.
I think that's gonna say greasy lip, moon creaky.
Okay, Why you gotta bring the moon cricket because it is my favorite racial epithet, by the way, it's one I mean, unfortunately, my favorite ones aren't for us.
No, Listen, in the in the late seventeen hundreds, white people were fucking funny. They were pretty funny, hilarious. Now they're exhausting and like, a lot of this is just recycling a bunch of things that were meant to hurt us when we were different people. But when they were just looking at us as captives and like making up phrases them niggas, they went crazy.
They went funny.
The boon creaky. You looked at a bunch of a bunch of black people singing.
You're like fucking moon creepy.
I would have cracked up if I weren't in chained.
Porch monkey. Come on, man, that's funny one. There's some good.
Ones in there.
I've been also a fan of spooky.
Like that one. I like that when the Spooker sat up beside the door. You read that book, it was so funny. Oh, it's kind of that's a great book.
You're gonna have to put a disclaimer on this episode. Candice is black.
They know what they know where we're coming from. This is not the first time we've discussed slurs.
Yeah, we we we take a hard position on slurs.
Are funny in this podcast, I said one they had to cut it out. It was a problem.
Yeah, but it wasn't one that we're allowed to say.
Now wait, there's all the other ones are fine, but there's one particular one.
Now you've gone too far.
Yeah, it wasn't for us. It was a different. It was a different We are not a part of a white but it was a white group.
But but still not not the not the whites in charge. So we gotta be chill, you know what I mean.
It wasn't a great look for your kid, for the boy anyway.
So Candice, it sounds like you are no longer uh a hardcore vasilene advocate, but you are not on the side the opposition of vassilene either. Do you think that your your family besides your are your parents still greasing up that way? Or was that strictly for the kids? I prefer the term lubing.
Okay, what's it supposed to be for? No.
I don't think you're supposed to use it for lube. In fact, I think they tell you not to do that. You don't even know how to use it properly.
I don't use it. I don't keep it in my own.
See.
Look he's still got the shame.
Look at him. Keep it.
I don't have any best lead in my house.
It was a family.
That's disgusting. So are you Are your parents still very much uh lubing that way or now?
Well, you know our parents are in that generation. It's like if the stuff was working back then. No matter how many reports have come out today saying you shouldn't use these chemicals, my mom still uses.
Bleach every day.
She's still cleaning the house with light sool or you spraying lightsol and glade pluggings and all the and I'm like, this stuff has been proven to best with our hormones. She don't care.
Yeah, damn. I also still plug in the glade and all that. I just I'd rather be sick than stinky. I guess is with the oil very good essential oil.
I don't know what type of oil. Yeah, I don't.
Those are non essential working oils.
Well, my mom, you know she is Vasseline Rider died.
Yeah, she'll probably have it holding some in her in her coffee.
Oh boy, yeah, bury me, bury me greasy.
I want to die like I lived, shining.
All right, we're gonna take a break We'll be back with more candide stops and the more my Mama to.
Me, Welcome back. We got Candice Thompson. We're talking about whether or not it's okay to put vaciline on your face and if you got bugs in that ship.
They actually, you know how they have vasoline and they have different like flavors.
They have like one that's like cocoa butter. Right, have you seen that?
No? I have not seen that brand.
No vassiline. Vacine is doing by like a cocoa butter in thing.
This is heard about this.
This feels like they don't even put it in the ethnic care aisle.
This is like, uh, this is.
It's so black.
It's next to it's just next to the Cheetos.
This feels like they put it next to like the cools up behind the counter.
It's just right next to the forties.
It's just pall mall cigarettes and cherry flavored vassoline and yeah, I guess I'll take some cherry please.
It sounds so bad. Fuck.
It's a combo pack, you know, like if you buy one then has one tape to the side.
It comes with Why does this Hennessy come with with?
Coco butter. You're gonna find out drink old bottle. You know you don't want that grease?
Oh no, I don't love that. Oh that's nasty.
What is nasty?
No? Not? And for any Hennessy combo pack always I meant more the flavor, the cocoa butter flavored vascline.
No, it's not. You don't eat it, Okay, I was.
Gonna eat it. I was gonna eat it.
I was, And I don't like that.
That's why I said cherry.
Yeah, I was like, which one would I like blue lemonade?
So I gotta go back. I gotta look. I haven't seen Vassilena a long time. I guess that feels crazy.
Though it's not. How is it crazy? We were just talking about the best of both worlds, right, well.
Yeah, that album that didn't come out.
Correct, Now he got because the time correct.
First of all, both albums came out, one did much better than the other, and they toured together.
People forget this.
They toured together, didn't come out and the tour was cut. The second tour was cut short because R Kelly kept acting the fuck up every time he went on stage, so much so that on the final performance of the tour. And this is only like four dates in a jay Z sent his bodyguards out on stage to pepper spray R Kelly and in the show early, I swear to God this is true.
What was he doing?
He kept claiming that people had guns in the audience and he was like getting in arguments with audience members and shit, and like it was being like crazy and disruptive, and criminal charges were coming down the pipeline and jay Z was like, fuck it, pepper spray that nigga, and we're.
Leaving and did so.
And that was the last show.
That was the last show they did together. Yes, I mean it's kind of late now, but maybe somebody needs to check on R. Kelly's mental health.
Decades.
Yeah, it's a little too late. Oh it's a bad one. We're saying all the bad stuff today. Yeah, it's not a good one. Yeah, you really got us going. I'm okay with it.
I will say that that to this vaciline cocoa butter combination that you're referring to, one of the things that I found because I was looking up is vacinline good for you? Is vacinling bad for you? And to your point, a lot of the reviews are mixed. There's a fair amount of evidence that if it is treated correctly and properly sort of like filtered, I guess is maybe the best word, it is perfectly healthy and causes no toxins in your body or won't you know, make you sick, anything like that. But if it isn't, and they point to the fact that there are a lot of knockoff brands that they can't actually prove are doing the right sort of like filtering and shit, that it very much is just made of crude oil, leftover crude oil, and is definitely going to have a lot of toxins inside of it.
Right, That's what I worry about, is it's made from dinosaur bone.
Yeah, it's just us digging up dinosaurs and rubbing pterodactyl on our lips and shit, hey man, it's just minerals.
It makes me feel decadent and rich in that way. Yeah, right, I like using animal to make me beautiful.
Yeah, nigga, nigga, I'm covered in stegosaurus right now.
You gotta feel gorgeous. They're spreading Sloane on eight monkeys.
Each one more handsome than the last eight gorgeous monkeys, beautiful beautiful monkeys.
What is the what?
What?
What is the knockoff? We're talking about knockoff vasoline? So we got vasoline, well, you know they got Robotuestin and tuessin, right, what would vasoline knockoff?
Just sleem slean.
An apostrophe.
You know what scares me is that they're gonna call it vassa and then it's just niggas running rubbing vasa on their skins. You got that vasa and it's like, that's too close to massa. I don't like none of this. This all feels wrong.
I also feel like, if you're gonna buy it, don't go knockoff, you know, spend the money on basolene.
It's also already cheap, like vasoline is one of those things because it's so readily available, like it's never it's never, there's never gonna be like such a demand for it in a low like abundance of it. It is everywhere, and so I feel like a big you can get a big tub of it, but probably like like a giant tub, like five dollars.
When they gets the same price as tussy as what, you know, what the fuck is tussy? That that tub deodorant tussy? You know? Oh, how do you call it?
You call it tussy?
I'm sorry, excuse me, excuse me. You just so used to saying the people.
I think that I saw a word and I said what I thought it? It is tussy?
Yeah, tuossy doesn't even sound right.
That sounds wrong. It's too close to pussy. What is wrong with you?
I thought that was the joke.
No, guys, how do we spell tussy?
Because I don't know how to spelled tussy? Don't like, I truly don't know.
I know nothing of tussy, and frankly, I'm excited to find out, and I just need a little bit of guidance the US.
That's why I got a big argument about tussy the other day because my buddy was saying that it was only for big girls, and I think it's for everybody.
It's for everybody. Had I had a tussy stint back in high school?
Who didn't, Hey, we all tried to sey in college.
That's why I went to state school. That's a time to explore.
Tussy was a big man from two thousand and four to two thousand and eight.
Yeah, yeah, I think if it's spelled like this, it has to be tussy.
I don't. I don't.
You can try to run from it, but we have too many words that that are spelled this way for this to be special.
You know, there's a clear precedent that's been set on the uss y words.
Yeah, I feel like women call it tuessy and men that's probably true, that's.
Fair, but that's because men are brave and women are cowards.
But it was that was the That was a deodorant. It was a cream. It came like in a tub, like just a round plastic jar tub, small, and then you put your hand in it.
Right, you have to dip your hand in it. It's cream. Glob it, mirror it under your armpits.
Yes, very sexual. The application process, wow, I gotta believe. Because it's deodorant. The washing your hands after is is not easy. That seems like that.
Would be because it's it's water resistance.
Your fingers are going to smell like tussy for weeks.
On your fingers up, like smell like nigga, you ain't been fucking you put on.
Yeah, but it's good deodoring, right, it was thick.
Wait, well, I had no idea about Tussy, But but I think we were talking about the cheapness of basilene was how we ended up here.
Wait, but I have a quick question about TuS one more time. Yeah, what was the purpose of tussy?
Like was it?
So that was the argument, not the argument. But I was talking to my friend about it. He said it was for big girls. But I don't know if that's true.
It said that on the jar, David Dude.
Tussy for big girls. That's really what it says.
Is that true? Oh, I was gonna be devastated for the big girl community. They you just have separate deodorant. That seems bigoted for sure?
Your friend wrong, right, because I use it. I wasn't a girl, and my friend Deshaun also used it. She was not a big girl either, and we both used it like for at least a year.
I think Tussy is just for the real heads.
Yeah, it's it's described the literal jug says a cream deodorant, which I don't like that at all, And it's almost identical lettering to Tide.
It all feels not good just.
Looking at it for the first time. This is a mistake. They still make this. It seems that way it's certainly available on eBay. I'm not sure if it's like still being manufactured, but I have to assume they have a big old stock that they're they're sitting on that they're trying to unload.
It's pH balanced. Oh good, thank god.
Yeah, maybe that was a Maybe that was the selling point, because I don't know.
I'm trying to remember why I started.
I know it's because my friend started using it, but I don't remember if she was just like, oh, it's got like less chemicals in it, it doesn't have aluminum in it, whichever, which is linked to like breast cancer and stuff like that.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Tuc looks like it's full of allum.
Full of chemicals. Yeah, it seems like it sounds like it, for sure. It seems like they're just grounding up left over aluminum foil and pouring it into a jar with milk.
You milk it, you stir it, and you handed to a big old black lady. I guess I don't know.
That said, Yes, vacilline did feel on the cheaper side. It's similar to see noxema. All of it felt like stuff that certainly our parents were telling us to use and just felt like raw chemicals, you know what I mean. It was just like the base chemicals that didn't cost much but but were effective at what they claim to do.
I never liked the feeling of vasoline though. Whenever you put it on. It's like I felt like as a kid, you know, I would just put sometimes it's just like, I see why you liked this. Yeah, yeah, it was like, no, I get it. The one thing is Can has got his fingers in the tussy again.
Canda times to get your fingers out of my tusy.
So I go. So we are different in that because I didn't I remember as a kid. That was always my problem was it it felt like it never went in.
So yeah, you know what I mean, not supposed to go in. That's what I'm getting mad.
That's only makes you feel like you walk around feeling like Aquaman all day, where you're like, am.
I am I still wet? Why am I? Why am I so wet? It was like vaguely sticky.
This is why you were never instructed properly.
This is the problem.
Maybe I need to do vassaline tutorials.
Okay, that could be huge for you on TikTok. Yeah, I don't know if you will garner the audience you are looking for, not at all for sure, gonna be pervs.
But you know, yeah, nobody, nobody's gonna watch it and then do what you're saying. They're gonna watch it and they're gonna stare for a real long time.
They're gonna watch it again and again and again.
Yeah, and they're gonna use vacilline. But not on the part that you using it on.
You know, they got.
Massoline. Let's hit play a new CT just dropped freely mix.
You're not using it was not meant to be like absorbed into the skin. It's for like wound healing and like it's a skin protectant, which I think it even says on there. It is like a skin protected So it's like to prevent moisture loss and if you have like abrasions or cuts, it'll heal those quicker. But like I said, it seals in other moisture. So if you put moisture on your skin before that, like a lotion, and then seal it in with the vacaline, I think is what the layering you're supposed to do.
Well, I was putting.
Anti vacaline versus lotion. It's not shouldn't be a war. You can use them together.
They do say in the research that I found that that vacaline itself actually has zero moisturizing properties, That it is a although it makes you look moisturized, it is more a sealant for keeping in moisture already existing in your skin. Yes, so they do, to Candice's point, suggest that you lotion first and then use vasileine to retain the moisture that already exists.
Yep, I'm putting it on my heels. M hm hm hmm.
Craw dog in the vacoline on your heels.
No loc.
But then because it would like I remember that. I don't know, man, I just it felt like a lot.
I'll admit I never once lotioned and then vasileined. I mean people who knew.
But yeah, but I think the general population used use it as a moisturizer.
It was like grease. I saw no point in in doubling up on this ship.
It is a greasy grease to use it.
Also, how could you use it?
That's much clearly?
Yeah, the bomb.
You scoop it out and then you rub it together. You can thin layer, thin layer.
Man, this isn't lightning. Though I am excited, I feel like maybe my vascline process was incorrect. Though it was, it was also like a like it was also like a go get ready for school. She's not standing over me, you know what I mean. So I just it was like a you know what I'm saying.
You were left to your own devices with the vasciline. You were never properly instructed.
Which is never a great idea.
No leave a tub of anything with a child and say go ahead, let's.
Not get ready for school.
I shouldn't have had any of my own products until I was like at least seventeen. I was misusing everything in our for a while.
Did you ever have an Apricot scrub?
You gott They say that's the worst one. It is.
It's like very terrible.
It's like slicing your face open here. Yeah shit, I got now it's smooth though.
Because saw the first three layers of your epithilial self.
Yeah, what's that?
What's that layer of vice you were talking about, David and destroys your theenisphere?
Yeah? I do got this ship that's like made out of fruit. I gotta keep it in the fridge, and I do wonder when I put that on. Sometimes I'm like, this feels bad.
Yeah, no, I was using apricross scrub way older than than I'm I'm proud to admit and uh and yeah, no it's not good for you.
I've been told no, it's embarrassing too, because it's always somebody.
Be like what you use that ship and you're like, oh oh even worse. You know, apricots scrub has like scales to it where they're like, these are little apricots and these are big fucking apricots. And I was always like, give me your scrubbiest scrub. I want me like fucking murder apricots. I want I want to bleed. Mother needs to look like stone ground mustard. I want to look like niggas are working on the railroad. Pick it up and put it on my face.
If you did have rup abrasions on your face from an apricot scrub, then that would be a good time to use vasoline.
Okay, Okay, what it sounds like is I should get some Maascline just in case, just in case. Yes, you know you have like a like a just in case products like I have I have a texturizer under the sink, just in case.
You have activator in your just in case you never know when you're gonna need a jairy curl.
Yeah. Yeah, just like somebody's gonna call. I don't I don't know who you know. Yeah, it's time, David, just a lot.
I don't know, so silky smooth, just let it shine through.
Yeah, yes, how.
I want to feel. I want to feel like that bad. This sounds so good. It did sound good good yea, I really liked it.
Wait, can I sidebar really quickly?
Oh yes, please?
I didn't know this, But the guy who invented jerry curls is white.
Did you know this?
I think you're probably gonna have to cut this out. Why you're going to cause a cause a riot? What?
Yeah, Jerry is white? Yes, his name, Yes, his name is Jerry.
Yes, and he.
Probably I think so look it up. I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure that.
He invented a juice for turning black people's hair flammable, wet and curly, flammable, flammable yeah, fire fire on the fire resistant.
Yeah, hate crime, I hate crime, sir. Wow, black people did this for I mean I had neighbors growing up, I had Haitian neighbors.
They all hold head full of Jerry curls.
Okay, I'm gonna ask this and and I might get some pushback from y'all.
Is he white or is he like uh that he's super white?
He's not like that Middle Eastern white No, because they be they love black hair in a way that then makes me go, you know what I mean, there's those like weird Armenia motherfuckers who'd be doing even though there's black women's hair and shit.
I'm looking it up. He also invented conditioner just in general. H damn. He's from Chicago though, Langston.
Hey, we do a lot of cool stuff out there.
You know Jerry Reading.
Yeah, he really was banking off that name. Oh there he is, Jerry Reading.
Damn. This is it's crazy. This is like the opposite of when I found out we invented the traffic light. It is Yeah, whatever that feeling was. Whatever.
Oh he made it a long time too. He made it all the way to ninety one years old.
Because he was suspended in perm juice.
Yeah it was the activator.
Yeah, his body's currently in a tank of activator underneath the Saally's on the west side waiting to be reanimated when the technology gets there.
Yeah, they're just going to electric the perm juice, so he's going to rise from the dead like a Frankenstein.
Yeah, love it.
There's also Olivia just posted a picture. There's no pictures of him where he isn't ninety one years old, which is fascinating, Like we they're not even showing pictures of him at the age when he could have invented this ship. He's just one hundred all the way from top to bottom.
They probably didn't have cameras.
Yeah.
You know what's crazy is there's this one picture that Olivia posted and the other ones are drawing, so you're not wrong.
He's four hundred years old.
There's always been a Jerry Curl.
It's just being passed down from Jerry in a generation.
He's like the back panther of wet hairstyles.
He drinks the purple Jerry curled juice and then he like sees his ancestors sitting in a Jerry curled tree. The leaves are just all stringy and wet, and they're like, you gotta do it, brother, you gotta, you gotta.
I don't have no Jerry curls in my family.
Nobody in your family had Jerry curls. What about you, Langston?
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, No, I'm not better than that everybody, But you know I it was of the times for the generations that existed before me.
So they all had it.
They did.
Would you if it came back, would you consider getting on board? Uh? No, No. I came back in a true like, not even on some corny like. It's just like, yeah, that's what everybody's doing. They're wearing Jerry curls. You know.
What I never liked was less of the wetness of it, although I didn't care for that particularly either, but it was more the shag of it, that body. I don't like, the back, the fucking bullet longer. Yeah, all of that. It's a mullet, and it's part of what makes the Jerry curl. The Jerry curl like activator exists already and people wear it all the time. But you gotta be down for the mullet to really make that style sing. And I don't care for that.
Yeah, you gotta make a pop, yeah, short, short Jerry curls were never the business like. They were never they would never make your head turn when you have to see the Darryl in Coming to America that yeah. Long.
To really do the Jerry Curl justice, you had to it had to be below the chin.
Mm hmm. Man, I hear it right now. I hear you saying it, and in my head it sounds cool. You would do it. I would do it. At first under the guise of like a Halloween costume. It's like, oh, weird, I still got my Jerry Curl. Isn't that crazy? And then like just keep it going.
Yeah, it's like, damn boy, it's this Thanksgiving. Man, you seem pretty committed.
Nah. No, I just didn't want to cut my I haven't saved my barbering. Yeah, just till the end of the year. Till the end of the year. It's like, I like to cut my hair in the winter, so to springtime it's just jelly outside.
Great great horror film on picturing me and a Jerry girl putting on a Jerry Curl wig and then it coming to life and you not being able to take it off because it's possessed.
Oh, that would be hard.
And it makes you do things damn.
Yeah, it makes me get a bunch of twisty.
Yeah, it's called Jerry's Return much tousy. I can get with this.
I'm dripping it tussy.
That's what you're screaming at your intervention when people are like, just take it off.
You're scary to your family.
Oh my god, that would be I feel like that's like the twenty twenty three Pooty Tang.
I'm not mad at it, and we can get a white man to write it, just like Pooty Tang.
I'm not mad at any of this. Yeah, And ultimately it means I could get a Jerry curl without, you know, because you can't just do it, you know what.
There has to be a reason, a reason, you'd have a reason to have it. I like this, and I think we should write this next.
We'd be pretty cool.
The last little piece of research that I'll share with you, Candice, is that I did want to look up whether or not vaciline is good for the environment. I needed to know because it is a crude oil, or the at least byproduct of a crude oil. I wanted to see if there's any reflection on our environment. And it is pretty clear that it isn't the most good for our environment that vasoline, although it can be found in a lot of household products, it truly does come from the same things that are made in our oil spills and things that are extracted from the earth, and subsequently is not an ideal product, which did get me thinking. And you mentioned this earlier about the whole idea that even when we're being told that gasoline is limited and oil is where I have shortages, and now we never have a shortage of masoline, that feels like y'all are lying something. I'm dishonest, this is happening here, because if they're the same shit, then why the fuck don't we run out of basiline but we're constantly running out of everything else.
Vasaline should be fifty dollars a pint.
They don't ever up the prices either.
They're never like y they don't make gasoline. We gotta up the.
Prices because because of you know, fucking Syria or.
Whatever is never changes, never changes.
They lie.
And also that also I do know that Native Americans discovered vasoline, not the petrol.
Later.
We use every part of the buffalo, including them greasy lips.
They were like, squeeze out them greasy lips. We're gonna make something cool from this.
Wait, what did they use it for?
Skin protecting? Wound heel or skin protected? But then a white chemist basically got credit for it.
Damn. I'd like to hope that that's what happened with the cherry curl too. And then actually there is like I guess, like Jack Dangels where it was like it was a black guy who made it right. It wasn't Jerry Riding it.
Was it was Anthony Milwaukee was his name, and boy did he know what to do with a little bit of activator in the back of a shag.
Damn. Well, if we did something.
I do think we did something. It sounds like if if I were to land this plane at all, it sounds like we're all in agreement that asilene does have a place in our in our community and frankly our hearts, and we would be good to use it more often than maybe we even use it today. But we also should consider the terrible, terrible possibilities of of what it does to our our planet as we're using it.
Yeah, I think that's good.
Yes, they gonna keep drilling. As long as they keep drilling, this is gonna be a byproduct of the drilling, so we might as well use it.
Lets use it. Yeah, I'm gonna gamble. Or's gonna give some Candice? Are you going to get some today?
And I'm going to go back and get some more Tussy?
Oh yeah, And I'm gonna buy the Best of Both Worlds album.
I never I love that, I love that You're like today, of all days, I'm ready to get back into the Tussie and R Kelly's music not even his best work. I truly want to support him at his lowest.
That is worth.
Candace, could you tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?
Yeah, you can find me at jokes by Candace on social media. You can stay tuned. I have a new podcast with a funny friend of mine. I don't want to spill the beams too much because it's like we already we have a contract, but it's just not done yet, like in the works of us actually recording. So but just stay tuned for a new podcast that I have with a friend of mine that is reminiscent of an old podcast that I have with a friend of mine.
Hell yeah, new podcasts coming, Candace Thompson and R Kelly Lincoln.
It really is the best of both worlds.
The imprisoned world and the unimprisoned world inside and outside. But yeah, follow Candice and Bori. Where can they find you?
Cool guy joke Saty seven on Instagram. I'm finishing up tour October twenty first. I'm in New York City. October twenty second, I'm in Worcestern, Massachusetts. October twenty seventh and twenty eighth, I'll be in Minneapolis, and then that's it, so you know, come see fuck.
Yeah, finish up the toy with Bori, and if you want to see me, I'll be at Dead Crow Comedy Room October twentieth and the twenty first, and then November tenth and eleventh, I'll be at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington. And then I'll be at Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas November seventeenth and eighteenth. And as always, you should subscribe. You should like you sho do all the things to the YouTube and the Apple podcasts and that you are meant to do. We don't just do it, bitch. Don't make me explain it to you, you dumb motherfuckers. Why the fuck do I have to tell you this every week?
Just do this?
Ship you, you ignorant sluts. We're so oh bug facebofons, bug face, bitch you little Yeah, we call you little mamas, but not this time, you felt face. Just do it, Just do it. Sick of this? Uh? And if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us how you grease up, send it all to mymama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. That's everything. We did it by bitch.
Chips in all Quali bears are racists money some man of turkey stuffing.
I can't help me nothing. H
