My Momma Told Me6 Degrees of Ray J (with Keith Johnson) (RE-RELEASE)
Hey Lil' Mommas! We will be back next week with new episodes and more Black conspiracy theories to wrap our lil' heads around. Enjoy this episode with Keith Johnson. Be sure to rate and review the podcast here.
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Is Ray J the "Godfather of Culture"? Langston and David get into a deep conversation with comedian Keith Johnson (This Fool, Comedy Central) about how Ray J has been at every pivotal point in cultural moments. We may even say that he's the Black Forrest Gump. Does he truly take any losses? Was Kanye sacrificed for Ray J? We go from Kardashians to playing the piano in front of Mayweather, and much more. Also, we start the episode with a deep dive into Black fallen heroes: Will Smith and Michael Jorden. Heavy emphasis on "fallen."
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Bye, bitch!
If the money was right, would y'all do a BT comic view set?
If the money was wrong?
If the money is wrong, you love it that much that you're like, Nah, I'll go do it tonight.
I need seven dollars. I get seven minutes to yeah, just to do it.
Yeah, damn. I think I would do it out of ego more than out of genuine belief that I would do well enjoy it.
Yeah, exactly. I don't think it's going to like take my career to the next level or anything like that, more than I would even kill. But you know, you gotta do it.
I if they offered it, I think I do fine, But I don't think that I'd be like j sliding his dick, you know what I mean?
Same set that chips in your.
Qualitys are racists. The money turkey stuff, I can't tell me.
But did it did that.
That?
Dude?
Yeah? Ye yay.
There it is.
There.
It is ladies.
And gentlemen, gentiles and little mamas alike.
There it is.
Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and.
We finally work to prove that what Will Smith is experiencing is in fact a lingering curse from the dark skinned and bim that bitch play on him some some thirty years years ago for the bullshit he was proving, and all of this is the fallout from that curse.
And I know they've made up.
I know they squashed the beef in a public sense, but what she fucking felt all those years ago, for the way that she that he played her, that's a curse that can't be lifted, you know what I mean? That ain't that ain't going nowhere. Just because y'all hugged on HBO Max, I'm Lnston Kerrman.
I'm David Bori, and I would argue what he was experiencing was that Dwayne Martin, he was murdering his ship. He was like, I don't even like that ship, but he was.
He was like, bro, just as a fan of the game, a fan of backshit as a profession, that Nigga was killing him.
I couldn't believe that was what because you know Twitter or Twitter gives you just the phrase, and it was like he was he was killing him as like a trending topic.
And I'm like, all right, this is gonna get sad. This is gonna be a fucking like something related to evil in Palestine right now, Like it's gonna be some ugly shit, And instead it was just the greatest video that could be out right now.
I get it though, because I've just you've seen like animals before, you'd be like, God, damn, I'm just killing that Yeah, that's a that's a wild dome.
Yeah yeah, that dog ain't got no home training.
Thank god, they're outside.
Here's what I'll say, And we have to introduce our guests, and frankly, if you want to jump, and you're more than welcome. We realize that this is a this is a trendy topic to leave you just waiting on. But I will say, I will say that it makes me sad if if true, And obviously there's there's plenty of reason to believe that this is just made up from a toxic man upset about losing his relationship with Will Smith. But if true, I will say, it breaks my heart that they don't get to kill each other in a public, safe way, that they can't truly be honest about the relationship that they obviously had.
Oh you think Will Smith was trying to kill as well as be killed. No, no, no, I don't think he's switching.
I think if will Smith gets killed like that, he just stays killed like that. But I'm saying I wish that their partnership could be honest out in the world and not just something that an assistant would walk in on and then say on a sad podcast. Do you think, Yeah, yeah, I don't think you can clap cheeks the way he described it, and and anyone is unaware there was due to a season thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling in a stunt.
That's that's the smell of passion.
Yeah, you get nobody supposed to be here.
We Oh, I just want I just want them to be in love, man, I really do.
I don't think love was what was going on in there. Yeah, I don't know. Man.
Killing this ship our guest today to bring you Sorry, sorry, bro, this is I cannot. I wish I could tell you that this was a unique experience, and you are this was some sort of personal thing to you.
It is not.
We rarely set anybody up for a comfortable entrance.
That's a problem.
It's we just be talking and then we and then afterwards we're like, damn, whoo, all right, well this has nothing to do with with this very funny person we've asked to be here, but here we are. Our guest today is so fucking funny.
He's great.
You know him from Comedy Central. You know him, and this is important. This is a little bit of of of I can what is it?
I can agraphy? What's the word that? That's it?
This nigga's an icon right now and not getting enough credit for it. He is the first, as far as I know, the first black beard in history. Stars in a Postmates commercial proving it documented.
Ain't no, ain't been no black black Beard before.
This, nigga.
Give it up for our guest, mister Keith Johnson.
You want me to say the line? Yes, oh we go be pilligent. We gonna be pilligent people all the time.
Man, I got it.
Up.
There There are two real black icons. Man. All that was Big Dog. He had a run.
Yeah.
I met him one time. Really he wasn't interested.
Okay, damn.
Yeah no, He's like, I'm not gonna talk to you about that. No, I just I didn't even say anything about all Start. We were recording in the same studio because that's where he does them. Yeah, but he can see in your eyes you wanted it too.
Yeah, you didn't respect him the way he wants to be respected.
I think I was too much respect.
Oh you think this was like overwhelming?
Yeah? And he had just hopped out of a Porsche. I was leaving in an uber.
Okay, I got.
Keith. Yeah, man, man.
I caught up on the Will Smith news.
That's why I came in kind of blind to it, and now I'm seeing it.
No, you didn't you do that? And I was like, okay, but it makes sense. It does make sense, And I think.
That's why he played Yeah, he played quiet for so long because he got secrets.
Yeah, Jada, I believe Today a video came out of Jada leaving a building and a paparazzi person asking her what you what do you think of these these allegations whatever, and she stops in the street and says, suing, we were suing or suing that shit or some shit like truly is like being vocally like what the fuck?
That's all of it? Yeah, that was crazy.
I didn't know it was going to reach this level.
I thought you didn't think it was going to reach this level.
No, I you know what, they for years never paid attention to anything anyone said about them. It used to be that they ignored everything, which is how they kept their problems so quiet. And then the post table, red table talk era they transformed into now we will address every single rumor about us, and I didn't. I'm still not used to that with them. I thought maybe they would just ignore it like they had when they were true fucking powerhouse people in the industry.
Now they're messy bitches who loved drawing. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a weird energy that shifted and that's crazy.
Yeh man.
Fuck were you a Will Smith guy?
Yeah, big Willie style.
I bumped the I bumped the Men in Black album, Watch all the movies Fresh Prince. I mean, this is kind of a conspiracy theory, but I think the two black archetypes in Hollywood right now are It's either you're a Will Smith guy you know you got the jeans with the big Jordan's on, or you're a Kanye guy. Yeah so you have you had. These are the two, you know, cultural icons that we followed.
So damn, yeah, damn, that's heartbreaking. The two.
We're done.
Fuck yeah, you're not wrong.
I definitely. I mean I rode for them separately but equally at various points in my life.
We have I would say, I don't even feel like I rode for Will Smith because it was such a given right. Does that make sense? Like people, when people would be like, I'm a Will Smith man, I'd be like, yeah, shut up, loser, every good. I remember I had a teacher in eighth grade and she was like, I Will Smith and he doesn't cut in his wraps. And I was like, shut up, bitch, you know what I mean? Because it was just like it was so ingrained in the culture that you didn't even have to like acknowledge it, you know.
He just was for such a specific era. He was such a defining type of cool that like I don't know that I'll ever undo from my head, you know what I mean. Like he was the coolest motherfucker on the plane my brain, and and that can't be fixed. Like I still watch them old episodes, I'd be like this nigga cool man, God damn things, just fucking cool.
He was cool. But here's the problem for me. He was so cool that I felt like such the other that I never related to gotcha. You know what I'm saying. He was so cool. It was past being aspirational, you know what I mean, Like, I'm a Jeffrey guy from that guy.
I think I in my head and I think this is probably the ego of comedians and people who want to be fucking stars like us.
I think I did think I could be that cool someday.
Damn.
I think I didn't think I was at the time. I think I understood my place. But I was like, nah, if I if I get a few things together, I.
Mean yeah, like if you got the right team. Yeah, in my brain, I was like, nah, I get next Summers, Like if I get an agent. If I get an agent, I can have Dwayne Martin.
It's just me.
The moment I realized Will Smith was cool was it was the I think it was a pilot episode and he sat down at the piano and he had his tux seed on with the Georgia and he started playing for at least and You're like, yo, he got gears, bro, he got depth that was like black depth that we've never seen before. You know, he could play the piano too. He taking him for granted.
You know, yeah, we could just rap man man. Yeah he had it. Yeah, this is hard, this is they ain't got it no more.
Anyway.
We're gonna have Will Smith apologies just like we had like the older generation had, oh like Bill Cosby, Like, no, he didn't do it, he didn't do it.
We're gonna be like, well, he's complicated, he's heard. It pumps me out that Dwayne Martin was doing. But you think he could have gone. I'm not against Dwayne.
You think he was lowering his I think I.
Think he could have gotten somebody a little more.
Remember what a rising start doing, ain't Martin was when they began their relationship.
That's true, Like he had what he only had a couple of basketball movies at that point, right.
Yeah, I think I think he seemed like a dude probably, you know, on the fucking way right.
Right above the rim just came out. You know what.
It reminds me of remember in the in the the fucking Jordan doc that the Bulls doc that they just did. Remember on the bus when Michael Jordan's listening to the music and he's.
Dancing like this.
Forget he's just doing this ship first time and then and it's like, Michael, what are you listening to He says, huh, oh, it's that new Kenny.
No, wait, no, it'smore but it's that new Kenny Lettimore.
And everybody's like, oh ship Kenny, let him Moore, he got the new thing.
It ain't even out yet, and nobody gives a fuck about.
Kenny Lattimore anymore, you know what I mean. But at the time Michael Jordan was fucking getting new Kenny.
Latimore doing that weird dance. I realized we never seen Michael Jordan dance, like for real. Yes, we're there, right right, right right? He always Yeah.
When did he When do you think he like shifted to becoming like a bad dresser.
I think as soon as he got any modicum of control over his dress, Yeah, I agree? Does that make sense? Like I think when he was in the height of it, he had no he was not picking clothes or designs or anything. I think as soon as like he could pick the jeans, I think yeah.
And I also I think it was that in that it became a shift between Nike and the Jordan brand being tethered together and Nike and the Jordan brand separating. Right right after the separation, Nike stopped having control, and he's just a dude in charge. So he's like, I don't need a fucking stylist. I'm not paying for a fucking stylist. I'll dress myself. I'm the goddamn CEO. And them jeans got so thick.
You remember how ambitious, You remember how how ambitious Jordan Brand was in the early odds. Yeah, I was watching an episode of King and Queen's the other day and the black dude was wearing a Jordan turtleneck and jeans, and you were like, whoa, we thought he could give us that, like a turtleneck.
Yeah.
Yeah, he became Republican.
That's when it shifted.
And he's like, you know what, Yeah, come on, baby, Okay, I don't know.
I think he became Republican after that first championship I was. I think he was like, oh I didn't I ain't got to care about nothing.
No, I think it was after the first check. Oh.
You think immediately in the NBA he was like, fuck these niggas back home.
I think so. You never he doesn't have like even to his credit, even Will Smith has like a Charlie Mac you know what I mean, friends, friends from Philadelphia. You don't hear about nobody hanging out with Jordan from North Carolina. That's true.
He's got he's got an older brother that does not seem to come around that often.
You've got an older brother who said he who can hoop? Apparently he said he was better than him. Never never hear about that guy, Larry, right, Larry Jordan.
I believe so, yeah.
I believe it's Larry lj and his son. You know his son doesn't.
J Yeah, No, yeah, his son doesn't. His kids don't really fuck with him like that, which is too bad because huge guy man.
The father figure.
Oh boy, imagine your dad being so awful that you that you go to Larsa Pippen now and say, let's make something happen to hear, baby.
How unstable was like that? That's that's the that's the grounding force, baby, I'm ready to build. Yeah, this is this is the most stable. You're the most stable person in my life.
Yeah, I gotta stop fucking around and focus.
I've known you since since you came to my fifth birthday party. Because she must have been there, right, No, they got married late.
Though, No, apparently she used the babysitter.
Wow. Okay, so that does part of me is like that's pretty cool, like just like initial feeling.
No, no, no, See, this is where I disagree with you, and I know what you're doing. I know what you're about to do. You're you're heading in the direction of sort of saying that like we anybody who can fuck their babysitter, hats off, kudos.
No, no, no, I think a lot of people fuck their babysitter and it's a huge bummer, okay because of sexual assault.
But sure, okay, I get it, Jimmy, all right.
I'm saying that he hung out in the pocket and came back and got it the game, you know what I mean, Like call that Drake Lyric, you know what I mean.
I guess where I start to worry is at the end of the day. This is still in that long game. You are watching her have a full relationship with Scottie Pippen and then lose that full relationship, lose his marriage because she fucked future which that.
And then went on.
Reality television show, not even a successful reality television show, to go be a problem elsewhere, like you've seen a lot of bad shit, to then be like I'm gonna marry this lady. Fuck guys, this went very dark immediately.
Problem is because we started with him killing that ship. Where were we gonna go?
I don't know, But Keith, you came to us with a conspiracy that that at least will cause more problem.
No, I think this is all.
This is has the potential to be a positive episode, a rare, just uplifting, beautiful episode, because you said, my mama told me.
Ray J is the guy I find out of culture.
He started it.
All All things go to ray J, and there's a connecting line and in every I wish I had my map with the red strings to connect the dots to show y'all.
But he's there, he's president. I remember when.
We were at I was at the house, David, we were watching, uh, what's that channel?
We were watching Zeus?
Oh Zeus?
And you're like, you know who owns this?
Good?
Good for you for calling it a channel.
I don't think.
I don't even think they have have the right.
I think there's like legal ramifications for them referring to themselves as a channel.
The Anthrew Bachelor, King Batch, ray J Enterprise. That's that's a big deal.
Yeah, Wait, is King is King Batcher a dual owner inside of this, him and j Fellas.
I did not know that.
I knew. I knew Rag he had East, I.
Knew ray J was was an owner. But King Batch being an owner of that is fucking that's a that's a surprise twist for me.
Yeah, that's keep spaying. Yeah, I went to school with him. Yeah, whoa who So that's how you knew. Yeah, it's hard for me to call around. I can't call you are Andrew Bachelor. I'll say this. I respect his commitment to the brand. There's been a lot of reasons for him at some point to stop referring to himself as King Batch, and he's been like not, that's that's the that's what I picked.
Heavy is the crown.
Heavy is the burger king Crown. So so all things point to ray J. A tell us where this started for you? I mean, like I said, the breakdown of cultural icons.
Right, you got Will Smith, you got Kanye if you look on the right side, you got Kanye West, who married Kim Kardashian, Right who started you know Kim Kardashian's career. Here's the inside information that I have. I used to work for the Kardashians, rumor is that we that the mom went to the went to Buna Murray and was like, we need to make this. We got the tape, we need to we need to flip it into a show. And then that was the beginning. Sure, wait she went to the production company. Yeah, man, that's what Joyn Martin should have done.
Yeah, but all right, yeah yeah, I just want them living out loud, even.
If it's messy.
You want to watch it.
Come on, man, I want to see them cheeks get murdered.
For real. Here's here's my question. Do you think because ray J is the godfather of culture, do you think he was picked for that specific task of being the one to roll out Kim Kardashian.
Right, Golden child.
Well, like she had seen him and she was like, I've seen a lot of other people, but this guy seems to be the guy who could get us over the hump. Because what's that right? Right, that's a good that's a good question. Who are her previous boyfriend?
Though?
It was like Nick Cannon, it was christ Like they didn't have the sauce.
They didn't have that.
Like. The thing about is he has the dark side of him, which is what allows him to be like, you know what, the black community will be fine if we put out zeus there. We're not gonna be hurt by it, even though it is going to be damaging to us. So he has that, he has that like villain thing where you're like, it's yeah, it's not sorry, but you're gonna like did the world change because of Kim Kardashian?
Yeah?
Yeah, I I hum. You know what's weird about ray J is I to your point about him turning it off. I truly think that the most terrifyingly powerful people on this planet are people who don't have to move with any fear of repercussions, and I think that he is an example of one of those individuals. Donald Trump is another who sort of moves in that same way where it's just like, bro, whatever's in you it, it doesn't fear anything like some I'm afraid of so many things that could happen to me, and ray.
J is not.
And you see it all the time when he's moving, you know what I mean? Rey J moves like he assumes he's gonna live forever. I've been I was excited that you brought this up because like, this is a conversation I've had with so many people like that, just like I think about how many times you've had that talk, where like I just known I probably had that conversation with ten different dudes.
You know what's funny is like people make fun of ray J, or had historically made fun of ray J a lot. But I actually think that was much more of like a white thing than it was a black thing. Like I think niggas were more like, now I know what that is?
How this thing?
Yeah, like I ain't. Nobody was like mad at ray J, and then white people sort of made him more of like a direct punchline of being like, look at this stupid because he was he all the fixings out there to make fun of. He's a little guy, he's Brandy's brother. He does all these antics. It seems like an easy target. And don't get me wrong, the antics are hilarious.
It's very funny.
I don't care.
Come on, yeah, I don't get a lot of stuff he's done. He's so hilarious. He's fucking hysterical. But is he ever lost?
No, he's never lost.
His reggae ever taken to L what? What? What? What's the j L?
No?
I don't.
I mean, I think at best you could say that like there was that period I think where he was like he had like trouble.
With his his kid.
Because him and the girl had broken up whatever. But like even then, nobody was rooting against rag Je. Everybody's just like I don't know.
And he met with Donald Trump, just so I know you compared him to they they met unscathed.
No one touched him. They fucked Kanye up, but they didn't ray J. Yeah, I pulled up.
Anytime anytime he has taken an l because I'm thinking him back on the time, didn't didn't like fabulous make him play like the piano or something, or it was something ray J had to was that or was that Mayweather?
You're thinking it was Mayweather? I think made him play the piano or told him to play the piano and he sort of like had a it was a bad performance. I think I ate it alive and I recovering that correctly. But even then, it's like, yeah, but we wouldn't. Ray J just went viral again, like yeah, he's just winning, baby.
It's he never even even with the funny glasses, how many of those glasses did he sell?
Them, way more than he was gonna sell exactly exactly, way more bunny Eyes than Bunny Eyes is gonna be able to push there themselves.
Come on, that was a stupid idea.
It's fucking idiotic. Even when he did it, like, there was never a moment in me where I was like, oh, but if he wasn't being silly, that's actually cool like that, I can see how why they would do that.
I was like, this is this doesn't make anything.
He has headphones too, right then he come on, rayconphone, no else, no else, take ain't spent.
I don't know if you guys remember when Raycon's first came out, but but part of the entire pitch of Raycon was being like, Apple is trash. You've been dealing with these Apple fucking headphones all this time.
When you have Raycon's.
Baby, look at my Raycons say the same size, they longer, and they taste good.
Who up with Steve.
John Yo, That's what I'm saying. Crazy. Come on, you can't see. And he didn't lose.
He just didn't. He just did what ray J was supposed to do. I could buy some ray conc to the website. I don't think you should. I'll be honest, I think he's a winner. I don't think the products are pretty good.
I think he just doesn't have the machine behind it. But if he did, they would have been the beats by Dre easily.
Yeah. Sure.
But here's the thing. Even if you don't have that machine to make it a billion dollar company, it could still be a ten million dollar company. Yeah you know what I'm saying. It's like still and you add that along with the media empire, like Rayj is getting money everywhere. Right, what's motor scooty bikes?
Yeah, that's right, that's that bike.
Bro. I'm saying he's a mogul. Yeah.
No, he's a real mogel for truly.
Yea.
And I watched a bunch of those shows.
Didn't take it entertainment, always good entertainment.
And I mean he just he never got embarrassed. It was always just like women fighting over him, him being like princess, you don't need to do this, just like Raj and he's like, all right, all of her friends and she comes back. That's all the show. Like, the show was him.
Not taking a loss, no losses.
So yeah, from from that moment, right, he creates Kim Kardashian. That's during the last writers strike. Then the writer strikes spawn reality nonscripted television, which is the world we live in now. If you go overseas, right, everyone's looking like Kim Kardashian. She became the American beauty standard.
For I mean, if you go to Glendal, if you.
Don't need to travel, you could just go to Glyndal.
Which some people would argue his overseas, Yeah, across that treacherous l a river. No, but I mean even here, you walk around down here, I live downtown. You walk around downtown now all the girls of everything yea, And that's because of Raja.
Yeah, ray j really trade trained white women to uh to erase their bodies and somebody else's body in a way that they were they were terrified of before before he came around.
Which which also means ray j in injected like give some life back into the plastic surgery industry. Whoa, like if we're drawing. He also did like Dr Miami, you gotta think Rajia damn. Yeah, Nip tuck is off the air. This is this is at this point, we are sober to what that industry represents. Yeah, we don't.
It's not iconic the way that it used to be. And then ray J shows up and he's like, but what if them titties were made out of the meat from your back?
And then.
And not to make it dark, but how did Kanye's mom died?
Fuck?
He don't?
Whoa okay, Yo, So RAJ doesn't do that. It's almost as if Kanye was sacrificed for rage. Fuck because all right, I didn't look, I don't.
I'm not trying to get y'all, you know by the c I I but I'm just giving y'all the breadcrumbs to follow, because the ship gets dark any turn. It could just get dark when it was ray J Bourne nineteen eighty one, what happened in nineteen eighty one?
Crack cocaine?
So whoa okay, wait a minute, chill out. We need to take a break. We need to take a break. It's starting to get fucking scary over here. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna come back from Morgan Johnson and more. My mama told me.
We are back with Keith Johnson talking about how all roads lead to ray J. To be honest, I mean, I think we've proven it somewhat at this point, and that in that somehow ray J Kanye West what sacrificed for RAYJ, which is which is difficult.
Yeah, it's not an easy thing to hear out loud and and maybe a more difficult thing to prove. But I'm excited Keith to get into some of this research with you because I think maybe this will help guide your hand in sort of piling up even more evidence and or substantiating the evidence you're already laid in front of us. As you may or may not know, you both probably do. The original sort of source that is pointed to for this conspiracy theory is Vince Staples. Vince Staples is sort of like the mass media source of it. He's in a interview in twenty fifteen on Rosenberg and I think Tyler the Creator is there and he goes, you gotta get this dude to tell you about what he believes about ray J, and then Vince Staples breaks down all of ray J's sort of interconnectedness throughout history, relating to all the shit, the music, the relationships, the sex tape, the reality television, the trend setting, the booty niggas.
All this stuff he breaks it down.
Now he also does, and this is where the research sort of starts to become interesting.
He also does this.
Interview with g Q right that same year. They ask him to basically sit down and explain it more to white people.
It seems like he.
Basically does the same topics, but they make him articulated a little more like clearly. And then in that article he tells them. He tells the interviewer that RAYJ is so influential that all you need to do is simply google ray J at right now and a TMZ article from a few hours ago will pop up. And that researcher does do that. He googles RAYJ and that is in fact true at the time a TMZ article immediately linked. And remember this is eight years ago, and in that article, the headline is ray J becoming a Jew. Hah oh no, I swear to God. Eight years ago, there is a TMZ and this is a weird bullshit bait and switch ass headline because all it actually is is RAYJ going and having a meal with some Jewish homies at a kosher restaurant in like popular ass New York City, trendy shit. And he has this kosher restaurant meal and he interviews and he's like, yeah, it was.
Just telling me about like circumcision to shit. He's like, yeah, he's.
Like learning Jewish culture and shit. But they TMZ is having a boring day. So they say, is ray J becoming a Jew? But there is no doubt in my mind? And I can't wait to hear you all thoughts that a Kanye West from eight years ago sees this article still filled with the rage that he is filled with at ray J sees that he's becoming a Jew, does not, in fact read that article and then decides he hates Jews. I'm gonna just add I'm gonna add to that. Kanye is seven years ahead of his time, right, so he's often talking to us. Yeah, so when that happened, he's talking to us in a different time space.
So what what's really happening. It's not World War three we need to prep for. It's the final fight between ray J and Kanye as.
Nigga don't hate Jews.
He just think ray J is a Jew and he hates ray J.
He really hates ray J the hard All that though, for me is like I can't hate ray J, but.
You're not You're not a psychopath, my man, fair, I really appreciate that. I think Kanye is legit out of his mind, and so he has something that none of us can do, which is hate for ray J.
Right right, right, right, right right, because I he's just so lovable. Yeah, he's fucking adorable.
That's an adorable forty five year old man.
He hasn't really ate.
Yeah, I'm looking up a picture right now, ray J. He has the blonde hair with the dark hoodie. Yeah, yeah, it's.
Come on, you got yo. I just googled him to see about that. And this isn't this isn't a week ago, but Jackie Harry stuns fans when they learned through resurface clip she hooked up with ray J. This is a on man, Jackie har Come on.
Man, and we're talking about abuse that that's gotta be bored.
I don't know what he did. I bet it was after sister sister for sure.
Come on, I don't know, and I'm not gonna ask. And even if I did, which who's gonna hold who accountable?
That's jack A and ray J. They deserve.
I'm not telling the queen she can't fuck her cousin, and I'm not telling jack A Harry she can't sexually assault ray J.
Oh. I forgot he also was with Whitney Houston right before the end.
Yeah, that's That's one of the things that Vince Staples points to is he says that ray J in fact the person that found her.
That that's that that's.
How iconic he sort of is in culture. And I would argue, and I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on this, I would argue both good and bad ways.
Like I know, I don't think re J is morality. I think he's just reg Jae.
He is the ultimate balance in morality almost if I can borrow from a white film, I think ray J might be our Forest Gump.
Oh.
Right, He's just been there for all of it, right, good, bad or sad, you know what I mean? Fuck like he cause like that's we're talking about some pretty pretty major events in black history that he's been personally witnessed to. Right, That's that's that's that's amazing. Yeah.
It also got me thinking because this article comes out in twenty fifteen, right, this sort of like the level of influence he kicks in. But you think about the eight years of influence that he he's had since then, and it does feel like you're you're almost missing major sort of like important.
Moments in the ray j A journey.
Right like up to twenty fifteen, he is a more laughable figure, which is what made Vince sound so crazy when he was pointing to ray J. But now it's like it's hard not to see the impact, you know what I mean. Yeah, he's fucking everywhere.
I mean, yo, Raycon sells water filters.
Ifuck, We're going to have a water scarcity moment sooner than later, and.
I and somebody's gonna Raycon incorporated. Somebody's gonna have to turn to ray J.
Yeah. As far as conspiracy theories that we've had on this podcast, I don't think there's one that I believed more unequivocally. Yeah, than it's just like you can't deny the man's impact. Yeah, Like what I wonder is do you think that he is do you think that he is conscious of it or do you think he's just living his life? And that's how it plays like. I don't feel like he wakes up in the morning looking to influence culture.
I think people like this are maybe too psychotic to actually be able to think that way.
Do you think he's psychotic though, I.
Think he's truly Like it's like he's moving a queen around the board, but it's one move at a time. Like I don't think he thinks past the movie.
Yeah, he just her presence.
To circle back to that Michael Jordan clip, they were talking about why Michael Jordan was good, and it was because he was present in every moment, and Ray J's just present. He's not thinking, even though he did write the song one Wish. But yeah, he's president, you know.
But I think every letter in that song surprised him. I think he's like, ah, I didn't even know I was there. Yeah, yeah, okay, let's see what you got of God.
He's just letting him speak through him. Yeah, right, right, He's a vessel.
I do like that.
J is ultra instinct, you know what I mean. He is Goku's yes, final form as far.
As we know. Yeah, yeah, I like that unto.
Yeah, and there's no brick wall that could possibly meet him, you know what I mean, Like he's not even it can't happen.
Here's the question I have for the both of you. Where does this go because he obviously hasn't peaked.
Oh you think you think we're not done seeing the best of what ray J could do.
He's like forty years old. That's that's That's like a lot of people ask when they get in the game as far as influential. Yeah, like he did all this without the benefit of age behind him to make him more respectable. You know what I'm saying, Like a lot of ray J's moves we were looking at as moves of a twenty five year old man, a twenty four year old man, he's on moasho when he's sixteen seventeen. You know, with the respect of age behind him, I think that this could go anywhere.
Do you at all fear though, that with age behind him, some of these antics will become less endearing. Do you think that that's there's any threat of him stopping being the adorable ray J that we all love and suddenly ben just a big old fat dude that we're all like, hey, bro, you got a chill out and call your family.
No, because the endearing thing is a personality trait, you know what I mean? Even when he was greasy on you know, what was the show?
What was the show called for the love of Rage.
Ray J, he'd be greasy on there, but you still liked him because you know what I mean, He'll never not.
He knew, he knew how to get ratings. I got a question. You said, he's forty one years old, right, Yeah, something like that, entering in his second half of his life. You know the second chapter, How old was Kobe Bryant when he died?
Come on, all right, bro, come on, come on.
It gets dark killed every turn, bro.
So it's just all.
Town for a little bit and low. But we didn't mean to be nobody.
I think I think ray J goes goes along because I think Zeus is just this is this is like a beta test for him, and I think he goes ahead and completes Bill Cosby's mission of buying NBC if not in BC or be et because a lot of people are trying right now. But I think ray J is the one who gets the right people together, the right chess pieces, and then they just make a quick, swift chess move by bet and he's a part of that.
You know.
You know what's crazy is that is that they were just who was it? The Weather Channel? Nigga and Byron A Byron Allen, we're just about to team up and buy the e T. And you know that the reason that they got turned down whatever it is, was not because they didn't have the bread. So this isn't a money issue. This is a character issue for whoever bt IS is owned by. And I bet they'll see something in ray j that they could not see in UH comics Unleashed Stone.
Byron doesn't have the sauce like he don't go looking for discuss sting black television. He's like, Bro, I got the program, I have the formula, I do this.
He buys bt IS.
Byron Allen was going to try to bring the news back.
You no, don't nobody want to watch black news.
Bro Spier Smiley, where is he?
And he's like, no, you ain't got what we're looking for, man, We're looking for a motherfucker like poison.
And he buys it from Viacom and then he just shifts the culture one more time on a on a large scale. And I think that will be we move within the next five to ten years.
Damn, that's like that, that's crazy. If raj On it wouldn't surprise.
Me, man, that no that's that's a very possible move.
And I'll say this, I think if ray J owns BT, I think niggas will stop making fun of it the same way they do.
Yeah, I mean I I I like BAT programming.
Though, do you you didn't watch all those Mani movies they did the new edition and.
When he no, no, no, you don't get to do that. You're talking about BT from like ten years ago. I'm asking you said you like b ET programming as if you are currently caught up on BT program.
What do they go now? They got missed? Pat hold on, I'm pulling it up. I got I got it. I did. Let it laps on my ship though.
Yeah, I just want to I'm trying to understand what you are currently watching.
On b kJ Smith's show, whatever her name.
You know what. You're right, You're right. I don't like it. Yeah, I don't think you like talking about it. I'm talking about a few years ago. I'm not watching Average Love.
Or bringing back Comice Berry has like four shows they are bringing back review idea here are they?
They've been saying that, though I feel like that that's true.
I also know some people who taped for whatever was supposed to be a new Comic View, and then they never didn't be.
It was that the Kevin Hart one, Kevin Hart, Mike Epps. Oh maybe Yeah, so Kevin Hart's I think e p and it. Mike Epps is running the host spot.
Yeah, oh he's gonna host. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's actually good. That's better for him than then.
So they settled their beef. Yeah right, I forgot that.
Kevin Hard and Mike EPs.
I bet ray j.
Call. He's the only one who could do it.
He like, Yo, Ken, Let's get Mike on the phone and right.
Now for the people, let's bring back Tomicview.
My dad the other day, my dad is on TikTok and and I guess his algorithm is now feeding him a fun ton of comedians. And he called me.
It was like, have you heard of Gary Owen? He's like it's not good.
I'm like, hey man, amen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you might got the worst. And I hate that you listen to them so often. If if that, if those two things are the crossover them, then we might be the fucking worst.
I love you that of all, I love the all of all. The ship he saw Gary Owans was one where he's.
Like, let me.
Get my son on the horn. I gotta see I gotta.
See the reason.
Brother, have you have you at least met the man because he's slow fun oh dz. He didn't do all that.
But he did.
He was like Gary, he thought of you, when he thought of when he saw Garry.
Let me give myself, let me let me tell him I love him.
He's funny.
Gary Owen's funny.
To be fair, I don't know any Gary Owen's bits, so I don't know if he is bad.
Here's what I'll say during that comic view early day.
Comic view ship. I loved Gary Owen.
I fucking I thought he was really fun.
No, I mean, I think he might be good.
It's hard to unlearn certain things when you got to unlearn like he's not he's not good, and you're like, you have to process that. It's tough sometimes.
M H.
I mean, I think there's people that will always hold that spot in your heart. It doesn't matter.
Who's that for y'all.
I don't think I ever need to see Bruce Bruce again.
Don't do that, do you know what I mean?
It's not Bruce Bruce. It's he was very fucking good. He was one of the best. But I think if I saw it now, I'm so far into the the magic trick that I'd be like, well, this isn't even that good of the magic trick.
Yeah, I know what the magic trick is.
You can't tell me. Flex is not hilarious?
Flex are now, Alexander?
Yeah, now.
I don't know flex Arnell.
Who the fucking flex are now? Now? Man?
He was killing.
You think that we were talking about a man named flexar now because I enjoyed.
You, we wouldn't not, all right, It is a flex actually, if I if I think about it, if I think about it in a way, flex is like my Will Smith. He was in that lane I thought Flex was. I thought he was so oh cool. I thought he was the coolest guy flex yeah, before and after Homeboys and out of Space.
Yeah, now I felt that even even what was it one on one?
Oh yeah, that's where I got it flat at the weather Man.
Yeah.
Yeah, he had a self awareness inside of his cool. So he was down to take the l but he wasn't really taking l's.
He had it, yeah, man, and he had that deaf January. He's wearing the yellow mm hmmm mm hmmm, hm. You know what I'm talking out, Yeah, man, flex Flex is my Will Smith. That's good to know. I'm glad I didn't know.
We have mother Will Smith that we could put in play.
Now now I don't have to bring this up in therapy. I think I I think I worked this one out. I can check this off the list.
Yeah, finally we'll go back to talk.
Let's untackt this well.
I think we should land this plane because it seems as if we are are all in agreement that ray Ja is in fact the cultural icon that he's been suggested to be. I think the best way to land this plane is to really just do a total recap of all of that, all that he's done to help sort of solidify it for our listeners. So obviously, and please, I don't want to do this alone, So y'all jump in. He he fucking let's begin right from the beginning of his career. He starts off as a child star. Yeah, nineteen ninety three, he is already acting on a SIDMD show even before Brandy is.
In fact, oh he was on something before Moesha.
I think Brandy is the famous singer. But before Moesha the show exists, he is on the Simbad Show.
Oh I didn't even know that, okay, so yeah, he start him early, start him early, so there and then that moves to Moesha. Right, arguably the most memorable character in Moesha whoa. I'd say Dorian Wright was the most dad.
Dorian was his name.
It was the most right, like if you go, it was like him and Cam are the only ones that because she had him.
But I was man dell man myself. But yeah, all right, man, yeah, I was like that. I don't get why people be calling her every they wrong.
I felt that way about the police officer on the wings. But anyways, same, yeah, yeah, I think we're talking about it. Yeah, a lot to impact a lot, all right. So yeah. So then but then he comes out is that it was music his.
Next big thing, I think so so so as history would tell it, Brandy is sort of like peaking in her success, and then ray J decides he's gonna come take over music with those. I think his first hit was like a top twenty five or something. Sexy can I I don't think it was sexy can. I was something Before that, it's like, let's get it, get it done or finished fast. I don't know what the fuck it's called. Let me come inside of you and you'll come to I'm trying to bust one in your bitch. What you trying to do some.
Some some raje a ass lyric.
You know, I got a mouth, let me put it on you, which I love, all right, but yeah, So he then shifts into music, and then I think that's where I would argue his uh he sort of finds his sexual enrichment. That's when he becomes sort of like this powerhouse of sexual sexuality and he fucks everybody. He dates to literally everyone. He was Nick Cannon before Nick Cannon, uh started having kids, you know what I mean?
And he'll probably mean Nick Cannon after Nick Cannon.
Yeah that's fair.
Nick Cannon gonna die.
So whatever had a couple of years left of Nick.
There's nothing else under that turbine. Baby.
So then from the second round of music, then he goes then he goes to the porno.
Right, Yeah.
That then he releases the Kraken of arguably one of the most boring porno tapes of all time. Not a great at not a great watch and that becomes her fame, that becomes the King Kardashian rising fame, and subsequently ray J star also rises because of the constant reminder that he quote unquote hit it.
For relationship and then starts off reality and then he goes into it.
Yeah, and then he begins his own reality media empire, that's right, which is huge.
And and frankly transforms v H one because while Flavor of Love is the first re quote unquote reality show of that kind, ray J then turns it into love and hip hop, which is the new transformation of VH one. Back when Flavor of Love was on, they were playing indie music and fucking that's where I learned who like who who fucking Adele was was watching VH one back when she was playing acoustic guitars, is you know what I mean? It was a different wave. And then ray J showed up and they were like, I think we worked for niggas.
Now, yeah, and they have been in service to us ever since, which.
Yeah, yeah, because even if you watch like the great like a like a Patresia or Billboard bir they were. They were on VH one a lot, and I think that opened up the Lane for like just authentic people on television.
Mm hmmm.
Yeah.
They were like, we're showing real human beings in this post ray j world.
We're showing the dark underside of what a human can be.
Okay, So then then the reality television and then he uh, he threatens to have fabulous fucked. He gets in a number of beefs, all of which seemed to have no effect on his life. He begins owning everything. He starts to every company that you thought was a joke Ray j Bys and somehow it's no longer a joke, and then what then then what does it become?
Uh? Post that, I feel like it's just been him moving in like side, you know, like the Trump film. Yeah, I feel like he's kind of been not as front, making deals under the table, That's what I think.
But even recently when because it did come out that where Kim accused him, if I'm remembering correctly, accused him of having like manipulated the tapes all these years that he was like, oh, that's what it was. Kanye gives Kim back the tapes that he supposedly had bought the secret tapes from ray j A or worked out whatever, and then Ray J made not only made public that that was a lie, that he was not in possession of the tapes, had receipts for this ship, and also then proved that the mom was the originating source for the sex tape in the beginning.
Yeah, flat au.
He really like proved what we've been speculating for over a generation now that Chris Jenner is in fact like the devil, and then went about his fucking day putting his hat in weird positions during during tapings. Slightly, it didn't even He took down the devil and it didn't even affect his day.
Here's what I'm saying. You gotta be a gotta be an angel to take out a devil.
Yeah, he's a true glitch in the matrix, and he is the one.
He's the one.
Well, can I get an a man?
Amen?
This is just the beginning, guys, just the beginning. This is just it's going it's going away chapter. This is this is where we Yeah, it's going away.
And if he starts to do more iconic shiit Keiths, We'll bring you back. This will be uh like a little journey. Yeah, it was like if you know Keith Johnson back you know we're doing a rage J episode.
It's uh, it's our weekend up to.
You're you're the Andy Rooney for whatever this show is.
Right again, I'm excited for any ray J moves in the future.
Keith, could you tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going.
On at Keith Johnson h Q on all social media platforms.
The cool shit I'm doing right now.
I got Culture Court Comedy in LA which is like a comedy styled court room where we bring on comedians and they do cases and we decide culture. And then on the East Coast, me and Sam Jay have a show called on Site, which is a late night therapy show, and we just had our last one for the New York Comedy Festival, so we're gonna be running it back sooner than later.
So check them things out.
Yeah, hell yeah, follow Keith, go see the shows.
Bory what you got?
Uh?
Cool guy joke? Saty seven on Instagram. Oh, Strike's over, I'm not to be on Exploding Kittens on Netflix. Hey, yeah, you can watch that. We can talk about we can get right Yeah, okay, yeah, So that's coming out I think at the end of the month and then yeah, just go on Instagram for dates and stuff like that. I'm not touring that much to the top of the year. I'm having a fire sale next week for all the merch I didn't sell on tour, so I'll put that info up on Instagram. But go to bring David to play dot com. And if you wanted to get a T shirt or a hat with a beach, or a poster or a meal kit that I hit designed for some reason.
Hell yeah, go buy up what's left of David's merch for some reason, he marked it up.
It's actually gonna be now.
Prices.
I think you don't know how sales work. I got I got.
Uh And as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman. I think this will come out too late for me to be pubbing any like big shows that I'm coming up. But go watch The Other Black.
Girl on on Hulu.
That was something that I did that came out in the middle of our financial pandemic and and I think it's cool and I'm proud to have been a part of it. So go watch that on Hulu. So you want to talk about interesting beanie placement, come on dog.
They go back to Ray J.
I will say. The director kept being like, can you be more Raje?
But no, I'm gonna watch that. And as always, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracies, if you want to explain to us why in fact ray J is not the savior that we've been looking for and there's someone else out there that we need to be looking out on, send it all to my mama pod at gmail dot com, follow us, subscribe, do whatever bullshit you gotta do, YouTube, Spotify, We got a social media My mama told me Pod, we want to hear from you, and we were thirsty for you to follow us, so so do it all. And that's the whole thing.
By bitch, Would you say that you're racist?
Not at all.
No, Look I'm a dog. He's as black as can be.
And a quality racist.
The osto player ows and money for.
She defended turkey stuffering. I can't help me about
