Motherhood ExposedNot Your Average Family
In this episode Zoe speaks to Jade from the Instagram account @notyour_averagefamily.
Jade and her partner Adam are special guardians to their niece and nephew after the sudden and devastating death of their mother, Adam’s sister, when the children were just 4 and 5 years old.
5 years on and with the addition of their biological daughter Harper, Jade talks through her beautiful, loving but definitely not average family.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Jade and her partner Adam have always known each other, they went to the same school and lived close to one another. In 2012 Jade messaged Adam on Facebook as both of them had become single and the rest is history.
- 3 years after getting together Adam’s sister suddenly and tragically died, leaving three young children behind. The youngest two children’s Dad was not involved in their lives at all, Adam’s parents weren’t practically able to look after them so Adam and Jade saw themselves as the best option.
- It was a complex process and after gaining support an information they discovered that they could do something called ‘Special Guardianship’ of the children which is somewhere between fostering and adoption. They underwent a lot of intense interviews and meetings and luckily after lengthy processes and court systems they got this status.
- Both Jade and Adam were close with Adam’s sister and their children. They had all spent a lot of time together which they are so thankful for, because of the wonderful memories they have but also because they became special guardians.
- Children who have been through trauma thrive in a routine. This was one of the things Jade and Adam focused on at the beginning. They were also learning how to be parents whilst caring for children who had lost their mother, no easy feat.
- Jade recognises how lucky her and Adam were to have a great support system around them. It wouldn’t have been possible for them to take on the children and do as well as they have without that support.
- Understandably, when Jade and Adam had a child of their own, they were worried that there may be feelings of jealousy and other negative emotions and behaviours from their niece and nephew. Amazingly this wasn’t the case at all and all the children adore one another.
BEST MOMENTS
“It’s important that is not something that splits you up but builds you as a couple”
“They were really, really close as siblings”
“They don’t have those titles but they are those people”
“Grief doesn’t just happen when that person dies”
“We just seem to love the chaos!”
VALUABLE RESOURCES
IG @notyour_averagefamily
https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/services-children-families/life-story-work
Life Story Work | NSPCC Learning
The evidence base. Life story work is not unique to the NSPCC. But there is little research evidence about the value of this form of support and, as a result, it is not always prioritised by children’s services.
ABOUT THE GUEST
Jade
@notyour_averagefamily
ABOUT THE HOST
Zoe Cresswell
Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness.
Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital.
Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage.
With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth.
Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations.
Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.
CONTACT DETAILS
Instagram : @zoecresswell_me
Facebook: Zoe Cresswell
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell
