The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever with Chris HarrisonReflecting on one year later of marriage, wedding planning, and treasured moments as Chris and Lauren reminisce about their second wedding which makes it their second first anniversary!
This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison and Lauren z Ema coming to you from our home office in Austin, Texas, LZ, Happy universary.
Happy anniversary, babe. We wanted to come on and record a podcast because one year ago today today, November fourth, twenty twenty three, we were having the best morning of getting ready at home. Our kids were there, Josh and Taylor, Josh's girlfriend, Catherine, my family, our your family, your family was in town. Our dearest friends were all getting ready and looking dapper in accordance with the theme that I pushed upon them, all cowboy chic and getting ready for us to have the best party of our lives in Austin, Texas.
Actually, what I was doing I remember vividly that morning. I walked out because we had two meat smokers in our driveway and yes.
Courtesy of Bambam's Barbecue in Utah.
Our boy Cameron and so our friend Cameron. One of his gift to us was he wanted to come in from his barbecue place in Provo, Utah. And if you're around Salt Lake City, if you get up to Park City, if you're around Provo, got to go to Bam Bams anyway, so he wanted a barbecue. He's like, well, I'm just going to barbecue in your driveway. So he dropped a bunch of meat smokers in our driveway. So at eight thirty in the morning, I walked out on my wedding day and he's out there pulling the pork butts off in the brisket.
And he'd been cooking all night with my mom. He'd been out. They'd been baking together with my mom and sister and my brother's girlfriend.
And that's how the wedding day started.
It was wonderful. And look, I know we kind of we mentioned our anniversary a few podcasts ago because and we got to figure out how we're going to move forward here. But I'm also a big like the more celebrating, the better person. So we got married on October fourteenth in Napa at the most beautiful wedding at Roy Estate. Go there if you are in Napa. Is the most magical place. It's like a modern day castle in Napa, California, on the most stunning day with our a small group about thirty five of our closest family and friends, and it was magical. And we drank great wine and had an incredible dinner and danced all night at the Archer Hotel there. But then we thought, we have so many great family and friends in our lives, we got to have a big blowout party in the home we love so much, Austin, Texas. And that's what we did on November fourth. Yeah, the night, two hundred and fifty people at that one.
That was it was amazing. So the night before, you know, obviously I think we've we've talked about this before. We had the bachelor family, all of them that could make it in town that night made.
It there and then here here in Austin.
Here in Austin.
Friday night that weekend we had a bachelor reunion at our house and intimate gathering.
A couple of people like Elon Gail, our producer, I think Sean and Catherine came in the day of so but it was a great night that led into a wonderful morning. So we got up that morning we were barbecuing with cam and the driveway and all that. But the whole day was so chill.
They were so easy.
Yeah, it was very easy.
I think we had taken the nerves out of it with the NAPA wedding first, and again I can't recommend, I don't recommend the two party system, but I recommend the two wedding system. We had this emotional wedding with again just the smallest amount of family and friends, and so we got our nerves out there. We had the big butterflies in our stomach leading up to the vows there and we were able to have really focused time with family and friends. So I think the day of this big party in Austin and we did our vows again in Austin, so all of our friends and family who were there got to hear everything and feel part of everything, but our nerves were gone. We'd kind of already done it once through and knew we nailed it, and we just got to enjoy. I thought, and actually I love doing the vows twice because then I sort of really got to hear what you were saying, because you know, the first time you almost black out a little bit or something.
Favorite part of the day and one of my two things that really stood out that I would I don't know how you can do it, because if you don't do two weddings, you know you're not going to get the first look and all that. So we'd already done all those things, like Lauren was just talking about. So one of the most beautiful things is we got ready here at the house, and there's something easy about getting ready in your own place. So we're getting ready together.
I know. That was really fun because we weren't because in Napa, obviously it's like we're waiting to see. But I liked having both. I liked ware traditional until the walk down the aisle.
That was more traditional. We're separated and all that, which is great, and the anticipation was building all day. You know, I was like, what she doing. And I was hanging out with my you know, my dad and my brother and your brother, and we were kind of taking you know, it's just like traditional. But that day here getting ready with you, just walking around, the kids were here. I'll never forget when we to drive over to the ceremony. That's what really struck me is this is fantastic. It was really it was weird. But everybody had left your family, everybody had already made it their way to the wedding site, and the only people that were left were us and we me, you and Josh and Tay got in the truck and drove to our wedding and it was just it was we just put on some music and we were just talking like we were going to dinner.
It was really casual and cool, and you know, obviously we were able to afford these two parties. But I will also say we did a lot of I don't know, I'm still a Midwest girl. I save money where I can. We did a lot of doing some stuff ourselves, including my mother baking a lot of the desserts for the wedding. We did a lot of you know, I don't like our friend Cam did, so we did a lot of things here and there, and ultimately, I would confidently say that we got both weddings in total for the price of what a lot of people pay for one wedding. Now that being said, you know, whatever you can afford, you can afford. And at the end of the day, it's just about being with your friends and family.
And we saved money on a car. We love ourselves, but pulled up to our own wedding.
But I think the most important thing is the people and having some great music and you know, a few drinks and dancing all night long. But again, I sort of really do recommend all this as I'm reflecting one year later, which we wanted this podcast to be about, kind of reflecting one year later. We want to talk a little bit about where our marriage is at one year later. And as I'm thinking back, I think what people struggle with the most when planning a wedding is managing all the expectations, both for yourself and for those who love you like you're you know, a lot of people say like, oh, well, my mom was mad I didn't spend more time with her the day of, and and we kind of eliminated that with the two weddings, or well I was so busy saying hi to everyone, I didn't get to enjoy it, and we kind of eliminated that with the two weddings. So I stand behind, do something intimate and then have a party.
Yeah. I don't know how what that looks like in any traditional sense, if you just like we're you know, doing the traditional church or traditional type of wedding. But man, it really did just it was like a release valve of pressure, and it was for everybody. And you know, Laura and I talk about ourselves and our pressure because that you know, the bride and groom are usually the ones that really feel it, but everybody kind of felt totally.
Like my sister was more tense, not you know, but more on edge on the day of the NAPA wedding because she's thinking, I got to walk down the aisle and I'm.
Your mom my, mom my, dad. Yeah, yeah, for sure, No for everybody. Everybody got to just relax, and there was like a little bit of a cocktail hour before you and I got to the Austin wedding. But the second thing that I love the most in retrospect, and I'm looking back at pictures today, you and I are both looking at videos and pictures and the walk down the aisle when we got there, the kids walked in, and you and I stood around the corner and we held hands and we got to be there together for a minute. And then we walked into our own wedding together, and again it was just talk about a release valve of emotions where we got to look at each other, We got to stop look and make eye contact with the people that were there.
Yeah, because we weren't looking at each other as we did in the more traditional NAPA wedding. In that wedding, I was focused on you, But at Austin, I was looking around and seeing everyone as we walked down the aisle, like oh, and saying hi to people.
We watched the video of both weddings today, saved it had not watched it, had not watched it. So we watched it together, tears in our eyes, of course, and we're crying and it was beautiful. But one thing that hit me was when I saw myself walking down the aisle in Napa at our first wedding, I'm like, why didn't you slow down? Why didn't you like pat people on the shoulder and like hug people and like, But I didn't. I was so nervous and excited in my head, I all but sprinted down the aisle. And I give this advice all the time, take time to smell the roses and take it all.
So logistics, that's the thing. It isn't all on you. Part of its legit. You're thinking is the bride and groom. We only have this place until ten pm or whatever. Like there's literally a schedule you have to follow. So the two wedding system, it took a lot of the tension out of it. I feel so blessed for both days. And yeah, we wanted to wait until our one year anniversary to watch our videos and to look through a photo album. We had to save something special, So I was.
Any strike you did anything pop out to you. Watching the videos for the first time.
It was really cool. Well, I mean it just unlocked memories. I sort of had forgotten what the getting ready process was. Like. It was cool to see you getting ready because we're separate, so.
The same thing. It was fun to see behind the scenes that you and your your mom and your sister getting you ready.
And probably you know, everybody has a cell phone today, but still a videographer is just going to get angles you didn't and that kind of thing.
And like I wrote you a letter every day of the last week before our wedding. I didn't know you read the last one, Like I didn't know when I thought maybe you did it that morning or and so I got to see you reading that for the first time, and so all of it just being able to kind of I was like a fly on the wall.
Yeah, it's a reminder of the details. You remember it as this big, happy thing, but it is nice to have those, oh, visual memories.
A mistake I made, and luckily you corrected it, and it would have would have been a big faux pas. As we watched the videos today, I wasn't all that into a videographer to start, Remember, I was like, oh, photographer, I want the pictures and all that, but I don't. Maybe it's because of bats or days and being on camera so much and you and I doing so much TV as like, oh, I don't really care to see myself on TV again anymore. And I would have been so stilled that way. Well, no, I don't mean like I don't want to work again. I just met like I don't need to. I didn't feel the need to video myself because I don't know I did.
It felt self indulgent or something.
Yeah or something, I don't know.
I was just like you, only like weddings went the focus on.
But I was the one that was like, oh, babe, I don't know if we need a videographer, and you and our assistant Karen, who was such a big part of this wedding.
And shout out to Karen, so helpful.
But that you guys forced me to do that, and I am so glad as we watched that video that would have been lost forever. So many in it, by the way, different than pictures. Everything looks so much more vibrant and beautiful.
Yes, and thank god it came together at the last minute because we finally convinced you of this a little close.
Yeah, I was late. I was late.
Was I figed someone?
That was my big gap.
Thank you to Kiko, Francisco Media and NAPA for coming through close to the end there I goofed on that. You know, I listen. I actually, uh, I used to feel the same as you, like in the very beginning, I kind of agreed with you, like, yeah, who watches their wedding video? You kind of just need the pictures. But I think it's a different time now. I mean, everything is so on social media and it's so video focused now that actually video is what you watch more than pictures in modern times. I think like back in the day, people probably even lost their vhs of their wedding video, but you know, you frame the photos and put them on your walls. Today, I think people take in video more. And you're right. One thing I didn't see coming was that I actually think the video captured the the day better than the photos. Well, I don't know. I guess it's the difference of camera or whatever, but literally you could the sky was so beautiful in Napa, and I think the video captured it better than the photography did, just because of cameras and lenses and stuff, and so it was so gorgeous. And I really do feel, on that note, blessed for both Austin and Napa. When I look back in Napa the week before there had been a massive heat wave and we were sort of nervous, and then the day of our wedding, it not only was the weather amazing, but the sky was stunning. And then in Austin, now that I kind of know Austin a little better, I think the week before it was raining.
Well look at today as we are taping this, it's raining here in Austin. There's a massive storm coming in the next two days.
Yes, so we were taking more of a risk with an outside wedding than I thought we were. And again we just had a perfect, glorious day. We didn't even need We were worried should we get heaters. We didn't need anything.
One of those Texas sunsets with a huge Texas sky, and you know, it was fun. As I look back as we saw the video of like our friends, because there was like a real longhorn, a Texas longhorn there and our friends, you know, that showed up from LA and a lot of the batch of people are taking pictures with the longhorn. And it was just a great country western Austin, Texas theme and it really came off and you know, like it could be a little cheesy, but it came off really well.
It was cowboy she.
It was cowboy she.
I feel so blessed to feel that there's not a thing I would go back and change. I mean, well, I say that with a caveat could you analyze it and say, oh sure. But if you're planning a wedding, my advice is you just have to accept that, like you're going to hope for an A minus, you know what I mean. It is impossible when you're planning a wedding is a production, it is an event. Life is going to happen. It will be impossible that it will go completely perfectly as you picture it in your mind. But if you have an A minus, it's it's amazing. And I really do think it was the perfect combination of you know, spending money where we did, doing some things ourselves where we did, because that also made it more personal and connected, and having our families involved, and you know, there's laughter and joy like in those moments like baking with Cam and our and my mind was up all night before, yeah, and doing the gift bags with my sister. And so when you family feel I recommend involving family because they feel part of it. And then I think there's like a spiritual element. I really do think my Dad was looking down on us, giving us those two perfect days of weather, and I felt that all of our hard work came together, and that also our attitude of knowing, of keeping the perspective like I did go into it thinking if a few things go wrong, I'm not going to be upset because I'm really just happy to marry this man. And what I do tell people is a good gauge on whether you should marry someone, is this, if you couldn't have a wedding, if you were not allowed to have the party that we all dream of, would you still want to marry the person. Well, some people get wrapped up in the party. I think it's easy to do because it's such a big part of our culture.
It's been a year. Does it feel like it to you? To me, it seems like a long time ago. If you told me it was two years or three, I'd be.
Like, I, why do you think that is? I agree? Is it because we're in this election? You're in? This Year's felt like a lot going on. I know.
I just feel like I look like the eve of.
Our I mean, we're on the our anniversary and it's the eve of the election.
Yeah. I know that we didn't plan out for now thinking a year ahead. But maybe this is the the distraction we all need. But to me, it just I look back and I think, Wow, a lot's changed in a great way since in just a year. It feels like a long time. I feel like we've grown a lot together, and I feel like we did. Honestly, if you'd asked me that day, this day, a year ago, do you have a lot more to grow and to learn and to progress in your love in relationship? I'd say no, you know we're there. But it is amazing how time and history and just experiences propels you forward in a relationship. If you're both in love and you're both willing and able to dive into that, and so I guess this year is just I feel like we've progressed so much as a couple, and I assume we will feel the same a year from now and two, you know, as we go on. So I don't know, that's how I feel. How do you feel?
I completely agree? And what strange is we didn't talk about this before we'd sat down to record this, but I was just like in the bathroom and thinking about how it is weird. I do feel we've grown a lot in a year. And it's odd how you can feel really good. It's not like things were bad. You can feel good about your relationship. We're so happy the day we got married, and yet and yet looking back, I do feel we've progressed. And I guess the lesson there is, even when things are good, there's still growth to happen, and you want things to keep getting better, and growth is part of that.
So and you think of the experience in life just comes at you right, and it's like, in that time, we've had a child graduate college and get them off in the real world, and a daughter get back to college, and a baby born in our family, and so good things and great things and there's In that.
Time, we started a new job.
We started media, joined mayor of Street Media that we had kind of started talking about in Earnest. Really around this our wedding, which was the one in Napa is when we really like kind of started cementing this deal.
And so, yeah, gosh, I forgot about that. It was like on our wedding weekend we cemented the deal.
We got a call and said happy wedding present from our lawyer.
Wow, And then.
The both our lawyers were at the Austin wedding. Yes, shout out to Chris Chatham and Brian Freeman. But yeah, so it just things happen, right, and it galvanizes you, or I guess that it could tear you apart if you're not strong. And you're both not into this, but.
I think you're both not open. I think that's the biggest thing, right to me, The people who suffer the most in life are the ones who aren't open to growth, open to change, flexible, who don't welcome experiences affecting them. I think those are the people who truly suffer the most, because life's about evolution.
There was a brain surgery in the family.
Oh my gosh, yeah, we went to everything with your.
Mom, thank god. Yeah, those things like you get to see like even honestly, like that week, I got to see a side of you that I had not seen before, this caretaker side of how is she going to take care of me and my family in need?
And you mean the week with stuff with your mom?
Yeah, just like you know, when things happen like that, like you just no, no, no no.
And when there.
Are times when things happen you're like you know and my uncle passing away and there, you know, there are things when you get different glimpses of your spouse, it just it brings you together. But again that's a good thing because those things could also tear your apart and fracture you and go, oh, she didn't really handle that well, or he didn't come, he didn't show up for me that day.
And what do you think is the biggest change or evolution or growth that we have made in our relationship this year?
I just feel more and more even and it's not like I didn't feel this a year ago, but I feel even more now that you are my partner in life. You are behind me, but not in a unquestioning way like you will put me, you know, hold my feet to the fire. You will question, but at the same time you will love and appreciate. You're my biggest fan and my biggest cheerleader, and I love that and I know that. But also again, you have to earn it, and I love that with you, is that you have to earn it and fight for it and work at it. And it's not just. It's not just given. Everything's earned. And I feel the same way, and so I guess the point is, there wasn't a moment that did that. Every hurdle that we've had, good or bad. Right, you have hurdles in life, and sometimes you're going up in life. Sometimes you're on the roller coaster down. But every hurdle we've crossed together, whether we've stumbled or not, it's brought us closer together. And I've seen a little different something about you.
I do think you've changed a little bit on seeing challenging as like not a negative thing. Yeah, I think you see it as a more positive and loving thing. Now.
That's happened this year, Yeah, yeah, that took You're right that we even though we've been together for five years, I think this year I've really come.
To, but you always let me. You always. It's not like you never let me challenge you. But I think you've shifted your viewpoint in the past when I might challenge you or push you on something, you heard it, but you thought it was this negative thing, and now you're like, no, it's a good thing.
More and more, how you're how the Zemis women speak a lot.
I don't think it's just the Zeo. I think that's all women.
Man. No, Yeah, you're fair particular way of pushing each other and I and I've come to love that and learn it.
I think that the biggest thing that we've grown and has been our communication, which is in that realm. I think we're a lot like we've reached deeper levels of communication. Again, it's almost i'd be curious of other people who are married or have been with partners for a long time. Please shoot me a DM if you understand this or can put it in better words than I am right now. I never felt we had bad communication, but I have now seen us unlock new levels of depth of communication, of vulnerability with each other that I didn't know we could even achieve, which makes me really excited for where our marriage will go from here.
And it takes effort, you know. I think. I think when you get married off and you're like, okay, good, like.
We're good, I'm set, I got my person.
And it's easy because then you get back to life, it's like, okay, now we got the kids and we got jobs, and we got you know, you just kind of start cruising. And even when you're happy, Uh, those are the times you kind of have to really push yourselves to try harder because when you are experiencing bliss and whether you're newly married or just things are good in life, it's you got to really push each other to challenge each other to continue to communicate and go deeper. It's easy to kind of hit the pause button and just cruise control. And I do think we have fought that hard this year. And really, you're you're great at You're better than I am. It's one of the great attributes you have given to me of don't just hit cruise control, and you really got to work at that. You're better at that than I am. You think, so, yeah, you're you're you're overall you're a better communicator than I am.
I agree with that. You're you're not a bad communicator.
But no, I'm not I I and I won't even say for a guy, because you know, that's such a sexist thing to say, and guys aren't that bad, and we get a bad rap for that. But you are a better communicator because you and I think you come about it honestly, not only with your family but your friends. You come from a great group of women who are such good communicators, and that's really rare, even for women. I think it's rare. And so you're just better. You're more intentional, you're more intense, and those things are important. You need that and you've taught me to be better at that, thanks Anny. Yeah, honestly, if and when we get back to work, I think I'll be even better at what I used to do. Oh wow, at asking questions and really driving.
I agree. And I won't get this right. But there's some it's a marriage therapist out there, someone who has a quote about like how relationships are the best form of therapy, And I think that's so true. Where do we learn the most about ourselves through our relationships with others? Where we challenge to be better through our relationships with and marriage has got to be number one on that, and a good relationship, friendship or romantic will be one that pushes you to be better. And I'm just so grateful I you know, I yeah, Like you were just saying, when you kind of get into the day and day out, I mean, I'm trying. I'm really trying to reflect on this past year and everything that's happened and things that we've done, and sometimes it can all run together. But I do think we're in really happy years right now, which I'm really thankful for. Is there anything you want to achieve in the next year of our marriage.
I mean in our lives together. I just like that. What I really enjoy is us just striving together and working together. I didn't I was there was moments of trepidation of like, oh, should we work together, you know, because I've heard pluses and minuses for couples working together. But I've really enjoyed working with you and seeing that side of your brain. I always loved it and respected it from afar when I was like watching you at entertainment tonight or you know, when you were interviewing me and interviewing other people, I got to see you and I knew you were good, but working by your side is different, and how we speak to each other at times and work is different than in our love life, and so learning that balance and that back and forth has also been good for us, and I think we've done a good job of that this year. So that's I think that's what I look forward to. As you said, we're in a good season, and God bless us. I hope that season continues there. You know, there will be a fall in a winter to life. There always is, but right now it's it's wonderful and now I'm excited to kind of see what our next chapter is and what this next year will bring.
At the anniversary, Babe, I love you.
And I think the most like hopeful thing and loving thing I can say is I wish we were doing it again tonight. I wish we were getting dressed right now and getting ready to go back to the same party that we had last year.
I truly feel so thankful that I look back on our wedding and think I would do that night over and over and over again. I really would dance all night long with the people you love, to.
All our friends and family, to everybody that was here, all the vacter nation that showed up. We love you. It's been so fun to go back and look at the pictures, the videos, and one more tip as I close this out and we wrap up this episode, save something you know I used to save that top tier of wedding cake for the anniversary. Save a video, save some pictures, Save something for anniversaries when you get a year later and you have perspective and it might just look it might rekindle something, but it also just might remind you of that love and how great it was and that you want to do it all over again. And thank you guys for letting us share our love with you. It's been a great adventure this first year. Happy anniversary, babe, I love you and here's to many, many more. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.
