Mornings with Tom and TabiEspecially with people you do not agree with? And, can these conversations happen without becoming combative? Lindsey Medenwaldt with Mama Bear Apologetics provides practical tips on beginning conversations with people who believe differently than you do. Lindsey shares stories and scriptural truth to encourage believers to focus on tearing down bad ideas rather than tearing down the character of people with the words we use.
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Lindsay Mittenwald. She is the Director of Ministry Operations at Mama Bear Apologetics, serves as a consulting editor for the Christian Research Journal as well. And she, uh, loves apologetics and focuses on world religions and how we talk to people of other faiths. And that can translate into other things as well. Um, you know that we talk about those hot topics, religion, politics, and what was the other one, uh.
Which donut you like? I'm pretty sure that those are the hot topics today. Lindsay, great to have you with us on mornings with Tom and Tommy.
Good morning, Tom and Tarboe. Well, I heard that it was chocolate versus vanilla, too. Uh, isn't that right?
That was part of it because I prefer vanilla ice cream.
Mhm. Yeah.
I like a good twist.
Okay, okay.
That's good. Well you probably do because you enjoy diving into this conversation. You know how to do it. So I would imagine you would like something with a twist in it. Can I just ask you this. Is there a way that I could maybe start a conversation with somebody who believes differently than me? And let me add this as a caveat that we can both walk away not angry with one another, but understanding each other better.
Yeah, I mean, the best way is to be natural. We had a conversation right, right when we met, and it was a natural conversation about donuts. And this is the kind of thing that we sort of overthink as Christians. We think, well, I can't just talk to somebody who who disagrees with me. What would I talk to them about? Well, the reality is, is that you probably only disagree with them about a few things when you probably have a lot more in common. I'm especially thinking of your neighbors, right? Like you have a lot in common regarding how much rain you've gotten in the last couple of months, or are you looking forward to a certain concert or a theater program? What is it that you're looking forward to, and what do you have in common versus what is that one or 2 or 3 things that we we disagree on? And then, you know, as you develop a genuine relationship with somebody, it gets a lot easier to talk about those things that we disagree about.
I love that. So the focus really should be on forming those relationships, realizing that we have more in common than we have different. And ultimately, whatever conversation we're having with someone, whether it's political or ideological, our goal is to share Christ with them and to form a connection that allows us to do that better. Right?
Absolutely. Romans chapter 12, verse 18. Uh, Paul says we should strive to keep peace with all men. Uh, that's really the the heart of, uh, bridge building apologetics. Apologetics is just giving a defense for the hope within you, uh, and telling people why you have hope. Uh, the bridge building aspect is taking our firm foundation of truth, uh, which is biblical truth, and then combining it with this idea of genuine relationship and genuine friendship. Uh, and we'll be able to have more natural and wonderful and maybe even fruitful conversations about our faith if we do it that way.
Okay. You're hearing the voice of Lindsey McDonald with a mama bear apologetics and Lindsey, um, a couple of months ago, I met a young man, and we've, uh, struck up a friendship, uh, over the course of the last couple of months. And, uh, we had known each other for maybe a week or two where he had that look on his face, and he said, Tom, you need to know something about me. I'm an atheist. And he just stared at me. Right. Because knowing that I'm a believer. Right. And, and and I think my response really helped break the ice so that we've got into deeper conversations, because what I said to him next really took him aback. I watched him physically kind of move back a little bit and tip his head. He said, Tom, I'm an atheist and I said, I don't care. And we just started talking and found out that we had this baseball connection. So that was our level of. Conversation and then he was just sharing. He asked me this question tell me about your faith. Why do you follow the Lord Jesus Christ? So he asked me about my faith. So we are talking about baseball and we're talking about faith. And this is an atheist talking to a Christian. We're having a wonderful conversation and we both seem to still enjoy one another, even though we're looking at life from two different perspectives.
Well, now I need to do an edit on my book and add your story in, because that's amazing. Yeah, I think that those kinds of situations happen more often than not. I just don't talk about them. Um, I've got lots of atheist friends that were unified around other things. Right. But we have, you know, big disagreements. We disagree on big things, but we are able to talk about those things, uh, with gentleness and respect. And you did exactly right in first Peter 315, it says, always be prepared to give a defense for the hope within you whenever anyone asks. And look at that, he asked, and you were able to to walk him through that, which is just an extraordinary thing. It doesn't mean that, you know, you're gonna pray a prayer with him and he's going to become a Christian on the spot. But what you did was you laid seeds and eventually maybe those seeds will bear fruit. Okay.
Thank you so much. Uh, for that. Lindsay, Lindsay Mittenwald is our guest, and we're learning how to defend our faith. Right? That's what apologetics is all about. And sometimes we get a little freaked out about that. Is there a way that we can learn how to do this? Lindsay, in our conversations, to be able to defend our our faith but not get so riled up in the process?
Yeah, because we're passionate about it. We want people to know Jesus. And so I certainly understand where people are coming from when they get so excited and they just want to blurt it out every chance they get. But the reality is that people maybe don't feel comfortable doing that, or they're afraid that they're going to get, uh, made fun of. Or maybe they'll lose some friendships that they really care about. So one of the things that I encourage people to do is start with the Bible. Equip yourself with what the Bible says. Too many Christians aren't spending any time in the word. The other thing is, make sure you're praying. Uh, lots of Christians don't pray, and the Bible tells us to pray without stopping. And then remember that you are not alone. Uh, Jesus Christ left us with the Holy Spirit as our Paraclete, as our helper, and he'll be with us every step of the way, giving us wisdom and guidance to help us figure out what is appropriate for every person. Some people will prefer a direct hey, Jesus is your should be your Lord and Savior and other people. It's going to take years. Um, and you just need to ask God for wisdom and guidance. Uh, when you approach this type of conversation.
Lindsay Mittenwald is our guest. She's the director of Ministry operations at Mama Bear Apologetics and is helping us have difficult conversations in such a way that really points people to the Lord. Lindsay, thank you so much for being here with us on mornings with Tom and Toby.
It's been so fun so far. Let's keep it going.
Well thank you. I'm glad that you think it is fun. And sometimes, though, it's not fun in real life when we are struggling through because there are big issues in our culture that, um, that we have strong feelings about on one side or the other. Uh, I mentioned earlier, this is Pride Month in the culture. And, um, a lot of Christians have some specific, um, perspectives on how to manage that, maybe even with relatives that identify as LGBTQ. Plus, um, what would you say? How can we be authentic and cling to the truth without being combative about our beliefs?
Uh, that's a great question. One of the things that I take away from Scripture, as I look at Paul as an example, uh, Paul had this thing where he was all things to all people. We read about that in his first letter to the people of Corinth. Um, and he, he did this so that he could, by all possible means, might save some. Uh, this doesn't mean he ever compromised the truth. He never compromised the word of God or the gospel message. But what he did was he engaged with people who disagreed with him. And and he was able then to have conversations with them about, well, you believe this one way. And I'm thinking about acts 17 now where we have the the Unknown God statue and, you know, you believe in this unknown God, but really, that's not a true, um, God. And so if we bring it back to now our culture, uh, I think we can model after Paul and have those conversations based on, you know, we care about you deeply. Uh, this is what we believe. Um, and it might not be the basis of our conversation. Every single time we tend to pick one topic and run with it. Whatever. Right that we care about is the topic that we talk about. But what about the other topics? What are the other things that you're you're interested in that you care about, that you could perhaps have conversations about instead?
All right. So it sounds to me, Lindsay, as we're talking about, um, life specifically, um, well, just bring it out to the LGBTQ conversation about Pride Month right now that instead of having every single conversation about that, it almost seems like we need to somehow build a bridge and a relationship so that we can have these conversations on an ongoing basis so that we have relationship with them. However, sharing both grace and truth through the different conversations we have, not just having the same conversation over and over again and getting nowhere.
Um, it gets tiring, doesn't it? Um, and I think that, you know, we think that if we, if we meet somebody who is homosexual, that we have to talk to them about being gay, but we don't necessarily have to do that. We can literally talk about anything else as well. Um, we also need to remind ourselves that the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world. I'm thinking about the Armor of God, for example. Um, and we're not demolishing people. We're demolishing strongholds. And as Christians, we need to remind ourselves of that. We're not setting out to demolish people. Um, we're setting out to demolish ideas that are unbiblical. And I think if we can remember that we want to be peace keepers. Um, modeling ourselves after Jesus, who entered conversations with people who were sinners with gentleness and meekness and kindness, looking to understand their perspective, not necessarily to change their mind, although many of them did transform their lives, but to ask them real questions about what they believed and why or why they were behaving in a certain way. If we can do that, I think we've won a lot of of leeway on a bridge.
That is absolutely beautiful. And I want to ask Jacob on just really quickly because he says something earlier that I just really struck me about how Christians should lead in this. Jacob, can you share that again? Yeah. You know, we.
Were talking behind the scenes about just how difficult it is to find ways to share this, to avoid conflict, to be peacemakers. We have a a really tall kind of order that's put on us in the Great Commission because, yeah, like people hate Jesus. That's the reality of our hearts before we're saved. So we have this calling put on us because, yeah, we should be the best at this. As the church, we do have that high calling. We should be the best at socializing. We should be the best at at making and keeping and maintaining friendships. We should be the best at conversation, you know, like there is that tall order on us because we're also the best. We're equipped with the Holy Spirit. We can do these things. We can go out and and make these tough conversations and reveal Christ to people through them.
And Lindsay, thank you again for just, uh, pointing us in the right direction. And if I could bring you back to just a concept that you shared just a moment ago, uh, specifically who we are in Christ about demolishing strongholds, uh, demolishing ideas, not people. How do we go about that task? Because sometimes when somebody disagrees with us, we attack the person, not the idea. How do we do that in conversation?
Well, it should always be our goal to not demolish the person. Uh, we should be entering every conversation with an idea of, okay, I am representing Christ in this conversation. Um, and if we if we can recall that that should be the core of who we are, um, it will make all of our conversations different, even the ones that we engage with online, uh, maybe even especially online, because we need to remind ourselves that people are watching. People are listening. They're listening to the words that you speak and the actions that you take. How do you treat the waitress at the restaurant? How do you treat your neighbors? How are you speaking to your spouse? What are the things that indicate that you are a Christ follower? That you are set apart? Um, and you know, sometimes that will draw people in because they'll say something is different about you. Why? What is it that's different? Or why do you spend Sunday mornings at church? Um, why do you care so much about the Bible? What is it about it that's true to you? Um, and that opens up the door to, uh, many other conversations that could happen.
