You're listening to Moody Radio 89.3, and this is mornings with Eric and Bridget.

You're listening to Moody Radio 89.3, and this is mornings with Eric and Bridget.

We're ten days into a new year, and maybe you've set some resolutions. Some goals. How are you doing with those? I think we're still in the window where many people are staying strong, but that window closes pretty soon because.

We're ten days into a new year, and maybe you've set some resolutions. Some goals. How are you doing with those? I think we're still in the window where many people are staying strong, but that window closes pretty soon because.

Strong or teetering?

Strong or teetering?

Yeah. Statistics aren't very good for resolutions. So we need some help. How do we still attain some of these goals? Focus on the family. Thank you so much for joining us for the first time here in 2025.

Yeah. Statistics aren't very good for resolutions. So we need some help. How do we still attain some of these goals? Focus on the family. Thank you so much for joining us for the first time here in 2025.

Oh you're welcome and happy New Year to both of you and to your audience.

Oh you're welcome and happy New Year to both of you and to your audience.

Well thank you. Okay, so I guess the first thing is you talk about goals as opposed to resolutions. Are we just changing terms to make it easier on ourselves? Is there a difference between a resolution and a goal?

Well thank you. Okay, so I guess the first thing is you talk about goals as opposed to resolutions. Are we just changing terms to make it easier on ourselves? Is there a difference between a resolution and a goal?

Well, practically there is. There may not be in terms of Webster's dictionary, but practically, when people make a resolution, it's usually a fairly lofty goal that may or may not be realistic for an individual person. So, you know, you'll hear people say things like, I actually had a friend say one time, I am going to become an astronaut this year. And I thought, oh, well, that's interesting.

Well, practically there is. There may not be in terms of Webster's dictionary, but practically, when people make a resolution, it's usually a fairly lofty goal that may or may not be realistic for an individual person. So, you know, you'll hear people say things like, I actually had a friend say one time, I am going to become an astronaut this year. And I thought, oh, well, that's interesting.

That is, it takes.

That is, it takes.

A long, long time and a lot of steps to get there. Um, but even when it comes to the typical things of losing weight or making more money or that kind of thing, people tend to set these, these ideas out there, these expectations of, I want to be back to my high school weight by the end of the year, and maybe it's someone in their 60s. That's not realistic. But what is realistic is to say, I'd like to be healthier. And I think I want to focus on my weight. So I'm going to start with Um, some very specific things that I am going to do something specific like I haven't been working out at all and I don't, you know, you don't have to join a gym or whatever. You can just walk. I'm going to start walking a couple of times a week. And then as you do that, that's a much easier thing to keep up and to reach and therefore reinforce the idea, oh, I've got this. Now I can move on to the next thing. But if you're only focused on the end goal or the end resolution in, you know, the verbiage that we're using, that's why people drop off because they've made their resolutions way too big, and maybe they're even not realistic for the individual.

A long, long time and a lot of steps to get there. Um, but even when it comes to the typical things of losing weight or making more money or that kind of thing, people tend to set these, these ideas out there, these expectations of, I want to be back to my high school weight by the end of the year, and maybe it's someone in their 60s. That's not realistic. But what is realistic is to say, I'd like to be healthier. And I think I want to focus on my weight. So I'm going to start with Um, some very specific things that I am going to do something specific like I haven't been working out at all and I don't, you know, you don't have to join a gym or whatever. You can just walk. I'm going to start walking a couple of times a week. And then as you do that, that's a much easier thing to keep up and to reach and therefore reinforce the idea, oh, I've got this. Now I can move on to the next thing. But if you're only focused on the end goal or the end resolution in, you know, the verbiage that we're using, that's why people drop off because they've made their resolutions way too big, and maybe they're even not realistic for the individual.

And I think there's something about the new year that we say in our minds, this is the year that, you know, X is going to happen. This is the year that, you know. And like you said, it's just so often things that we've been dreaming of hoping of, but it's it's not realistic without the practical steps.

And I think there's something about the new year that we say in our minds, this is the year that, you know, X is going to happen. This is the year that, you know. And like you said, it's just so often things that we've been dreaming of hoping of, but it's it's not realistic without the practical steps.

Right. And the other thing that's really helpful, Bridget, is to think about what's a part of my life where I've made some improvement. And maybe the best thing I can focus on is continuing on that same road, but doing something different. So maybe you have decided that you want to, you know, know what your career is going to be by the end of the year and you've actually made some good steps in that direction. You've started taking some courses or what have you. And instead of being so focused on, I'm going to land on that perfect career by the end of the year. You say, okay, so I've done that. So what's the next step? The next step is to maybe start researching what part of that career, or what area of the country might be a good place to pursue that career, or what have you. So you start with these little goals that as you meet little goals, it starts giving you hope to continue. Whereas if you're only thinking about that end goal and you haven't thought about the steps along the way, you're much less likely to achieve that New Year's resolution.

Right. And the other thing that's really helpful, Bridget, is to think about what's a part of my life where I've made some improvement. And maybe the best thing I can focus on is continuing on that same road, but doing something different. So maybe you have decided that you want to, you know, know what your career is going to be by the end of the year and you've actually made some good steps in that direction. You've started taking some courses or what have you. And instead of being so focused on, I'm going to land on that perfect career by the end of the year. You say, okay, so I've done that. So what's the next step? The next step is to maybe start researching what part of that career, or what area of the country might be a good place to pursue that career, or what have you. So you start with these little goals that as you meet little goals, it starts giving you hope to continue. Whereas if you're only thinking about that end goal and you haven't thought about the steps along the way, you're much less likely to achieve that New Year's resolution.

Okay, let me just give an example in my own life. I want to save more money within the. Here we are ten days into January. My car has been in the mechanic twice already. Uh, so that that idea or that goal or that resolution or whatever we call it. Yeah, there's always things that come up no matter what it is. Right. Oh, I want to exercise more. I just pulled a hamstring. Or I mean, it just always seems that something comes up that gets in the way. There's a barrier to wherever I want to end up.

Okay, let me just give an example in my own life. I want to save more money within the. Here we are ten days into January. My car has been in the mechanic twice already. Uh, so that that idea or that goal or that resolution or whatever we call it. Yeah, there's always things that come up no matter what it is. Right. Oh, I want to exercise more. I just pulled a hamstring. Or I mean, it just always seems that something comes up that gets in the way. There's a barrier to wherever I want to end up.

Right. And that's a great point. And you kind of took the words out of my own mouth, because I was going to mention that, that there are these unexpected things that come up and it sometimes it almost feels like a spiritual thing, like someone's messing with me. Right? Because here's what I wanted to do, and the very thing that I was trying to do got got sidelined. So here's the deal. If you are setting up those smaller goals and something gets sidelined, then you can very quickly say, oops, okay, it's not going to work that way. So what do I need to adjust in order to get to that ultimate New Year's resolution, where I've actually fulfilled that by the end of the year? So you're like, okay, so it's costing me money to take care of this car, and I didn't expect that and so forth. So what are other ways that I can save money? Um, and what are other things that I might think of, um, to do that have to do with saving money? So it might be like, maybe I should, you know, take a look at accounts that I have. And are there some that might earn more interest or something like that? Um, so what's great is that if it's a small goal and you get sidelined by an unexpected change, you can very easily adjust to a different goal as opposed to, oh, well, there it goes. I'm not going to going to succeed, so I'm just going to give up.

Right. And that's a great point. And you kind of took the words out of my own mouth, because I was going to mention that, that there are these unexpected things that come up and it sometimes it almost feels like a spiritual thing, like someone's messing with me. Right? Because here's what I wanted to do, and the very thing that I was trying to do got got sidelined. So here's the deal. If you are setting up those smaller goals and something gets sidelined, then you can very quickly say, oops, okay, it's not going to work that way. So what do I need to adjust in order to get to that ultimate New Year's resolution, where I've actually fulfilled that by the end of the year? So you're like, okay, so it's costing me money to take care of this car, and I didn't expect that and so forth. So what are other ways that I can save money? Um, and what are other things that I might think of, um, to do that have to do with saving money? So it might be like, maybe I should, you know, take a look at accounts that I have. And are there some that might earn more interest or something like that? Um, so what's great is that if it's a small goal and you get sidelined by an unexpected change, you can very easily adjust to a different goal as opposed to, oh, well, there it goes. I'm not going to going to succeed, so I'm just going to give up.

Mhm. So an example of something I wouldn't say it was a resolution, but it's something I've been saying I would like to do more of in 2025 is read more classical literature. It just feels like it's been so long since we've read some of those classics. So what are some practical ways a goal like that help me break that down into realistic goals? Because I found a book, but it's the 10th day and I haven't started reading it quite yet. Doctor Debritto, help me out here.

Mhm. So an example of something I wouldn't say it was a resolution, but it's something I've been saying I would like to do more of in 2025 is read more classical literature. It just feels like it's been so long since we've read some of those classics. So what are some practical ways a goal like that help me break that down into realistic goals? Because I found a book, but it's the 10th day and I haven't started reading it quite yet. Doctor Debritto, help me out here.

Yeah. I mean, so the first thing that you might want to do is stop and think, okay, what of those classics? What am I actually interested in? Because you really want to read something that's going to encourage you to continue. You don't want to be reading a classic just because you decided by the end of the year, you're going to have a list that you'd read all these. So if you pick one that just happens to be a classic piece of literature, but you hate it, you're probably not going to continue doing it. So maybe you start out with a list looking at what is typically on a list of classical literature and then thinking, okay, which are the ones that I want to read and which is the one that I should start with, that I think is going to be the most enjoyable for me, because that's going to reinforce you wanting to read more. Whereas if you let's say that on that list with something like War and Peace, okay, which is a mega page book and pretty dry, if you said, you know, my goal is to be able to say that I've read all these pieces of classical literature at the end of the year, and the first thing you pick up is war and peace, and you can't even make it through it. That reinforces you wanting to stop and say, oh, this isn't going to work. But if you pick something, you start with a list of of the classic literature and you're very methodical about, oh, wow, I remember reading this and I really enjoyed it. I want to go back to that. That will reinforce you continuing to go forward.

Yeah. I mean, so the first thing that you might want to do is stop and think, okay, what of those classics? What am I actually interested in? Because you really want to read something that's going to encourage you to continue. You don't want to be reading a classic just because you decided by the end of the year, you're going to have a list that you'd read all these. So if you pick one that just happens to be a classic piece of literature, but you hate it, you're probably not going to continue doing it. So maybe you start out with a list looking at what is typically on a list of classical literature and then thinking, okay, which are the ones that I want to read and which is the one that I should start with, that I think is going to be the most enjoyable for me, because that's going to reinforce you wanting to read more. Whereas if you let's say that on that list with something like War and Peace, okay, which is a mega page book and pretty dry, if you said, you know, my goal is to be able to say that I've read all these pieces of classical literature at the end of the year, and the first thing you pick up is war and peace, and you can't even make it through it. That reinforces you wanting to stop and say, oh, this isn't going to work. But if you pick something, you start with a list of of the classic literature and you're very methodical about, oh, wow, I remember reading this and I really enjoyed it. I want to go back to that. That will reinforce you continuing to go forward.

Oh, I like that idea to create that list. So I know you know what exactly is a frame? Because I haven't done that yet. So I will do that and then make sure on that list, I can probably do a little research and figure out which ones would be most interesting to me. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I like that idea to create that list. So I know you know what exactly is a frame? Because I haven't done that yet. So I will do that and then make sure on that list, I can probably do a little research and figure out which ones would be most interesting to me. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jekyll, Jekyll and Hyde is not a large book.

Jekyll, Jekyll and Hyde is not a large book.

Oh, Jekyll and Hyde. Okay. Yeah, that sounds interesting.

Oh, Jekyll and Hyde. Okay. Yeah, that sounds interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The other thing that I would mention is being really aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, and how you are likely to reach a goal using those strengths. So I'll give an example. One of my kids, um, uh, got one failing grade when she was in high school and it was in Spanish class. And so of course she had to repeat the course. Now, the first course was taught in a way that I figured when I learned how the course was going to be taught, would not work well for her. It was all grammar. It was all learning the words and the verbs and how the verbs are changed and so forth. Um, very much like we might teach an English course. She failed that course. She was required to take it over. She took it over. And instead of being grammar and just learning words and how verbs are changed and so forth, it was a completely inclusive experience. So the day she walked in the door, the Spanish teacher was talking Spanish the whole time and using facial expressions and gestures, and she picked it up quickly and ended up with a B plus. Now, did she go from being not very smart to smart in one semester? I don't think so. It was the teaching style now, and I am not here to say that the first teaching style was wrong. That style probably would have worked better than the immersive experience for other people. So we need to think about like if we have a goal, what's the most likely step toward us meeting that goal given our personal learning style, our personal levels of motivation, Evasion, etc..

The other thing that I would mention is being really aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, and how you are likely to reach a goal using those strengths. So I'll give an example. One of my kids, um, uh, got one failing grade when she was in high school and it was in Spanish class. And so of course she had to repeat the course. Now, the first course was taught in a way that I figured when I learned how the course was going to be taught, would not work well for her. It was all grammar. It was all learning the words and the verbs and how the verbs are changed and so forth. Um, very much like we might teach an English course. She failed that course. She was required to take it over. She took it over. And instead of being grammar and just learning words and how verbs are changed and so forth, it was a completely inclusive experience. So the day she walked in the door, the Spanish teacher was talking Spanish the whole time and using facial expressions and gestures, and she picked it up quickly and ended up with a B plus. Now, did she go from being not very smart to smart in one semester? I don't think so. It was the teaching style now, and I am not here to say that the first teaching style was wrong. That style probably would have worked better than the immersive experience for other people. So we need to think about like if we have a goal, what's the most likely step toward us meeting that goal given our personal learning style, our personal levels of motivation, Evasion, etc..

You know, you mentioned sometimes we feel like this is a spiritual battle. Sometimes it is a spiritual battle. We want to take those, uh, you know, reading scripture, finding a new church, spending more time in prayer. We just go down that list of finding a small group, and there can be a real warrior mentality in trying to get that accomplished. And a lot of that has to do with we are looking at other people's lives and saying, look where they're at and look where I'm at. How can comparison really harm us in this?

You know, you mentioned sometimes we feel like this is a spiritual battle. Sometimes it is a spiritual battle. We want to take those, uh, you know, reading scripture, finding a new church, spending more time in prayer. We just go down that list of finding a small group, and there can be a real warrior mentality in trying to get that accomplished. And a lot of that has to do with we are looking at other people's lives and saying, look where they're at and look where I'm at. How can comparison really harm us in this?

Well, it can keep you back. It can definitely keep you from going forward, because you think that there is one way to get to that goal, and it's the way your friend is doing it. I'm so glad you mentioned that, because years ago in my marriage, I wanted to try to cultivate a little bit stronger of a spiritual bond between my husband and myself. Both of us are Christians and we have a spiritual bond. But I thought this would be great, you know, to be able to improve on that. And so I was looking at friends and they were all talking about, oh, my husband and I get up every morning and we do a devotional and so forth. So I remember we tried that for like a week and it didn't work well. And you know why it didn't work? Well, because neither one of us were interested in doing devotions as a way of strengthening our relationship. So instead, we got into this rhythm of having discussions, picking a topic that was kind of in the news in terms of spirituality or whatever, and talking about it. And in the process of that, we would then go to the Bible and kind of see what the Bible had to say about it. It was a very different thing. But for a while I felt very discouraged, like, what's wrong with us? We know all these people who get up together and they do devotionals. And honestly, going back to the strengths and weaknesses. Part of the issue was I'm an early morning person. My husband isn't. So he wasn't. He was half asleep. You know, when I would get up and say, hey, listen, okay, it's time. And he'd kind of look at me like, uh, the same way I would look at him if he tried to do that at 1030 at night. So you have to figure out, you know, what, what your strengths are, what your tendencies are and so forth, and figure out things that work for you. And, you know, appreciate the information you get from other people. But really assess, is that going to work for me or us or not?

Well, it can keep you back. It can definitely keep you from going forward, because you think that there is one way to get to that goal, and it's the way your friend is doing it. I'm so glad you mentioned that, because years ago in my marriage, I wanted to try to cultivate a little bit stronger of a spiritual bond between my husband and myself. Both of us are Christians and we have a spiritual bond. But I thought this would be great, you know, to be able to improve on that. And so I was looking at friends and they were all talking about, oh, my husband and I get up every morning and we do a devotional and so forth. So I remember we tried that for like a week and it didn't work well. And you know why it didn't work? Well, because neither one of us were interested in doing devotions as a way of strengthening our relationship. So instead, we got into this rhythm of having discussions, picking a topic that was kind of in the news in terms of spirituality or whatever, and talking about it. And in the process of that, we would then go to the Bible and kind of see what the Bible had to say about it. It was a very different thing. But for a while I felt very discouraged, like, what's wrong with us? We know all these people who get up together and they do devotionals. And honestly, going back to the strengths and weaknesses. Part of the issue was I'm an early morning person. My husband isn't. So he wasn't. He was half asleep. You know, when I would get up and say, hey, listen, okay, it's time. And he'd kind of look at me like, uh, the same way I would look at him if he tried to do that at 1030 at night. So you have to figure out, you know, what, what your strengths are, what your tendencies are and so forth, and figure out things that work for you. And, you know, appreciate the information you get from other people. But really assess, is that going to work for me or us or not?

I love that mindset and realize that you are your own individual. God's called you to your own race and your own lane. Don't try to be someone else. Be who God has created you to be. And those goals are going to look different. And that's okay.

I love that mindset and realize that you are your own individual. God's called you to your own race and your own lane. Don't try to be someone else. Be who God has created you to be. And those goals are going to look different. And that's okay.

Right. And be careful not to draw the conclusion that something's wrong with you, because you've tried something that a friend has tried and it hasn't worked. Does not mean there's something wrong with you. It just means you need to come up with something different that's attainable for you because of your strengths and weaknesses and so forth.

Right. And be careful not to draw the conclusion that something's wrong with you, because you've tried something that a friend has tried and it hasn't worked. Does not mean there's something wrong with you. It just means you need to come up with something different that's attainable for you because of your strengths and weaknesses and so forth.

All right, so make it realistic. Maybe smaller short term helps us with the longer overall goals. These are just basic steps we can take even today. It doesn't have to be a I guess that's the one other thing. It doesn't have to be a New Year's thing. It can be a today thing. And if you messed up yesterday, it can. It can start over today. His mercies are new each and every morning.

All right, so make it realistic. Maybe smaller short term helps us with the longer overall goals. These are just basic steps we can take even today. It doesn't have to be a I guess that's the one other thing. It doesn't have to be a New Year's thing. It can be a today thing. And if you messed up yesterday, it can. It can start over today. His mercies are new each and every morning.

Yes. I'm so glad that you said that, because people do get really stuck on dates. So they will decide that they want to do something. And it's January 3rd and they forgot about it on the first and the second and they're like, well, I've ruined it. I can't do it at all. Which is such a crazy way of thinking. Of course you can. You can start on January 3rd or you can start on March 1st. But the other thing is, don't we always falter to some degree Whenever we're trying to go toward a goal, there are always going to be times when we backslide for any reason, and we also need to have a little bit more resilience and not beat ourselves up, but say, okay, I fell off. You know, like if you're trying to eat well and one day you eat very poorly, that doesn't mean you can't reach the goal of eating better in 2025. It just means okay, so I fell back for one day. Get back. Get back on that train, get, you know, ready to continue in the next day. You can do better.

Yes. I'm so glad that you said that, because people do get really stuck on dates. So they will decide that they want to do something. And it's January 3rd and they forgot about it on the first and the second and they're like, well, I've ruined it. I can't do it at all. Which is such a crazy way of thinking. Of course you can. You can start on January 3rd or you can start on March 1st. But the other thing is, don't we always falter to some degree Whenever we're trying to go toward a goal, there are always going to be times when we backslide for any reason, and we also need to have a little bit more resilience and not beat ourselves up, but say, okay, I fell off. You know, like if you're trying to eat well and one day you eat very poorly, that doesn't mean you can't reach the goal of eating better in 2025. It just means okay, so I fell back for one day. Get back. Get back on that train, get, you know, ready to continue in the next day. You can do better.

Well, this has been so helpful. Any final word or even word of encouragement, Joanie, about this new year and some of these realistic goals that we can set.

Well, this has been so helpful. Any final word or even word of encouragement, Joanie, about this new year and some of these realistic goals that we can set.

Yeah, I mean, I really think it is that you have to have that idea of as you go through the year, you are on the uphill, uh, trend in terms of making progress and recognizing that as you go uphill, there are going to be a few little, little valleys that you go through, but the next time you come up, you come up a little higher so that that picture of that line is a little bit squiggly. But the general trend is toward that final resolution. And as long as you're on a general trend, that's the important thing. Don't get focused on the times that you have failed. Get focused on the time that you succeed.

Yeah, I mean, I really think it is that you have to have that idea of as you go through the year, you are on the uphill, uh, trend in terms of making progress and recognizing that as you go uphill, there are going to be a few little, little valleys that you go through, but the next time you come up, you come up a little higher so that that picture of that line is a little bit squiggly. But the general trend is toward that final resolution. And as long as you're on a general trend, that's the important thing. Don't get focused on the times that you have failed. Get focused on the time that you succeed.

That's good. We spend a lot of time. We spend a lot of time on those failures. You could succeed 100 times in a row. And that one moment of failure, you're like, oh, I did it again. No. Press forward and remember those successes. That's that's a good reminder for us.

That's good. We spend a lot of time. We spend a lot of time on those failures. You could succeed 100 times in a row. And that one moment of failure, you're like, oh, I did it again. No. Press forward and remember those successes. That's that's a good reminder for us.

Excellent. Head to our website. Let me encourage you, Eric and Bridget, there's a real fun link from focus on the family with 50 creative resolution ideas. It's not your typical one. Like for example, number five camp overnight in your living room and have a pillow fight with the family. There's some fun resolutions you can check out again. Head to Eric and Bridget.

Excellent. Head to our website. Let me encourage you, Eric and Bridget, there's a real fun link from focus on the family with 50 creative resolution ideas. It's not your typical one. Like for example, number five camp overnight in your living room and have a pillow fight with the family. There's some fun resolutions you can check out again. Head to Eric and Bridget.