Welcome the Money in Wealth with John O'Briant, a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Hey, Hey is John O'Briant, And this is the Money in Wealth podcast series. Built to Fail talk about a well underrated topic because you're built to win, because God don't make dirt, because you can't fall from the floor, because success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Because rainbows only follow storms. You cannot have a rainbow without a storm first. It's actually a scientific fact. Even the Bible will suggests you cannot grow without legitimate suffering. And so we've misunderstood this thing called failure. We think about us and just it's simply the outcome to an experiment. I've been built by failure. This is a topic that I want to get into as a series on my Money and Wealth podcast. I'm going to talk to people who've gone through the fires to get to the promised land. I'm going to talk to people who've gone through something to become somebody. But you're also listening to somebody and looking at somebody who teaches because he's been there, who instructs because he's seen the path walked the path, experienced the path. It is his past. That person is me. People will look at me and make a number of assumptions and presumptions which are mostly wrong most of the time. They see my confidence. They see me walk in a room, walked into a convenience eating restaurant earlier tonight, and the gentleman behind the counter he saw me looking at the folks in line and assessing how long it was going to take. And I just didn't say anything. I just was prepared to walk out, and he said, no, no, no, come here. I can help you myself. I see you're a man on purpose. I don't know who you are. You look slightly familiar to me, but you walked in with the presence, and I want to know who you are. So I'm going to serve you myself. I'm going to make the food myself. So I have a moment to talk to you. Smart young man, he's going to be very successful in his life because he's nosy, he's curious. God gave you two ears in one mouth, so you listen twice as much as you talk. And he's humble, and he's fascinated with success, and I'm fascinated with success. But what he saw walk in that restaurant was not somebody who was built by seamless, uninterrupted successes. He found somebody built by failure, who has been tow up from the flow up, who has been over a rounded, through it, into it, and so he knows how to get through it. Somebody who takes nose for vitamins. I take nose for vitamins. I mean, what are you gonna do to me? I was homeless for six months in my life when I was eighteen years old. I failed one hundred times before that point, before I was eighteen, and different business ideas that just did not work. I saw murder when I was six or seven. I saw my mom and dad divorce. Johnny will Smith wanted the Smith. Two amazing human beings now helpers in heaven with our Lord. They've been promoted, but when they were in this world, in this earth, they did the best they could to raise me Donnie Dave Harris and my sister Monty Maral Hoskins, and they did an incredible job, but they did not see themselves as better together. They did not see themselves as a team. And even though they were brilliants and hard working it wasn't enough anyway, they divorced. The number one cost the divorce, as you heard me say time and again, it's money. So I saw that death of my family net worth and family structure. I've seen the murder of the guy who saved my life. Ohc was his nickname. I've seen all. This is in my book Financial Literacy for All, which if you don't have you need to get. Number one bestseller in economics and finance and business, by the way, continues to this day, and there is number one. It goes from number one and number two. The next time I checked it was number one. Pick it up. It will change your life. I've seen failures, I've seen successes. My best friend, George, was murdered when I was nine years old and he was eighteen. And so this is not a guy with a silver spoon in his mouth. This is not a guy who had a trust fund. This is not a guy who nothing wrong with all that that's fantastic. I salute anybody who's got those assets going into life. That's fantastic. That's not my story. This is not a guy who had you know, Ivy league college degrees that yes, I've got a chair from Harvard in my office. It's because I went to a Harvard executive leadership training program for leaders after I had already succeeded on some level. And I've got a couple of honorary doctorate degrees. I think three, two or three. I know at least two. But I had the equivalent of a high school education and graduated with a ged was Chris rock calls good enough diploma and went to community college after that. But I was always just ready to go. I was ready to get out in business and do things and succeed what to apply myself in life. And everybody who works for me, by the way, today has a college degree, an advanced degree. I don't hire dummies. Everybody who's smarter than me in their expertise area. People know more and more about less and less is what an expert is. And I like those experts to be best in class in their areas. But no one out works me, no one out thinks me, no one out energizes me, no one out I'm the chief inspiration officer, chief visionary officer, chief execution officer, chief get it done officer. People may be a PhD, but I'm a PhD and I'll get up earlier, work harder, and stay later while you're in late long lunch leave early. People make the mistake of thinking that being smart enough is enough. It's not. Good habits are more important than being smart. Actually, you can't be a dummy. Let me make that clear. And everybody who can get a college education should get one. But let me be clear, you must have good habits in order to be successful. I'm going to do an entire podcast on having good habits, but at the moment today, I want to absolutely remove this stigma about failure. Failure does not mean that you are a failure. It means you failed at something. It means that there was an outcome to experiment that was not successful. It doesn't define who you are. Just says this is what I went through. It's on the path to where you're going again. Rainbows only follow storms. Success, as I said earlier, is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm over the rounded through it. You're going to have to get to it. Success, as I keep saying, is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. It doesn't define you. Life is ten percent what life does to you in ninety percent how you choose to respond to it. What your respond is going to be. You don't react to what you respond You come right at it, you go, you come right at it, not over a round it. You know, don't avoid it. You're coming right to face it. Because what is a kill you makes you stronger, It makes you, It builds resiliency. Why am I telling you this? Why is this important podcast on money and wealth? Because every poverty, every form of poverty two reasons, by the way, every form of poverty three reasons. Beyond sustenance poverty, which is a roof over your head, food on the table, and reasonable health care. Sustenance poverty poverty, which is to sustain yourself. So everybody should have sustenance. Everybody should have a roof over your head, reasonable health care, food on the table. That should not be something that we beg for society. It's something that society provides. It's biblical, by the way. But beyond that, every form of poverty is mindset. Whether you believe you can, whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right. And so my concern is this generation that we have today who's grown up seeing a black president. You know, who's grown up seeing and experiencing a run up on the stock market market, seeing real estate pride prices that have been on the rise. They might have missed, probably did miss the two thousand and eight real estate crisis. And even if they did, it's in the rear view mirror. Who's who saw a social justice reckoning on Black America? If you're black and brown, if you're African American, are African or people of African descent, you've seen this. You've seen you saw a positive reaction to the devastating murder of George Floyd. And you saw somewhere between sixty billion and three hundred billion, depending on how you calculate, invested in you. And Wow, there's pushback on that. Now, the impression by somebody who's twenty or even thirty years old might be that that success for me is preordained. That you've got to go to you know, go to college, go to school. Maybe you know, maybe don't need school. They may think, yes, you do. I need to address well, you know, have a nice Instagram handle, have some great social media, get some business cards made, you know, Lisa Carr, go to some meetings, you know, say the right things. And I'm going to be successful. I deserve, I'm entitled to success. No, you aren't, and you won't be because you aren't prepared to fail. You aren't you have no experience with failure. And the things that rattle and shake people today absolutely astound me. I tell people all the time that what you're going through is, with all due respect, high class problems. If you live in the United States of America or a developed country you're living in listening to this from the UK now Kingdom, You're listening to this from some developed country somewhere in the world. Frankly, if you're listening to this or washing this, you've got some kind of a digital device that's cutting edge, then you consider yourself lucky. Certainly, if you're in the United States of America and you have a job, you have a source of income, you have you know, you have shelter, you have food, you have opportunity. When you get up in the morning, you've you've been blessed. You have at least one parent. And so there are people in this world. There's a lady right now trying to get from her hut in on the east coast or west coast of Africa, trying to get from her hut to the well to get some water without being abused. That's her daily challenge as a woman in Afghanistan right now, that's trying to keep her basic dignity and goes on in a third of the world. It appears as at war with itself. And so I'm not discounting your problems when I'm saying, if you're concerned about your credit card bill or the mortgage payment or whatever, that's important. Yes, and yes you got too much wanted into your money, but consider yourself blessed to have these problems. So I wanted to first tell you I've been to where you are. That's why i found an operation Hope, because I've had that experience with it at nine years old in the classroom when that baker came to my classroom and taught me financial literacy, and everybody else was throwing paper planes and playing around and joking. But again I had by that time, I had these experiences where I saw a murder of my guy who saved my life. I know experienced. I didn't see it firsthand, but of course experience my best friend being murdered with my next red neighbor over drugs, And I saw my bob dad divorce and family tore apart, and my mother hustle to go buy our house, our first house in Compton, California, as a single mother. And I had taken life seriously by the time I was nine years old. And this banker came to my classroom in tall financial literacy wome economics class, which doesn't exist anymore. And I asked that banker, what do you do for a living? And how'd you get rich legally? And I was dead serious, And where'd you get that suit? From? Man? Only people I wear. The only white man I saw wear a suit in this neighborhood is a detective. And it's not a good suit. It's a bad suit. I don't mean a bad suit. I mean a bad suit. I mean polyester. I mean not a good suit. Why tie this dude's suit? That was gorgeous. It was beautiful. It was Italian stitching. I could see it today. It was dark blue and a white shirt and a red tie crisp. He had polo shoes. He had a business card. Nobody in my family had a business card. He said, the sixteenth floor. There was nothing beyond the I believe the six floors of I think he was six floors, might have been eight, eight floors or something. But it wasn't the skyscraper in Compton. That was a courthouse. Everything else was just a couple stories or single story in Compton. He was in the sixteenth floor. Man, way you work, how do you hear in the middle of the day. My mom was an hourly worker. McDonald Dounlard's aircraft became bowling aircraft. She had a two fifteen minute breaks in lunch. Other than that, she was an hourly worker. She only showed up to school if I got in trouble, and that wasn't a good thing when I saw her show up at school. So how are you showing up any time you want during the day. I'm on a salary. What's a salary? It's like I was a medium Martian man and again he told me, I'm a banker and our finance entrepreneurs. I said, sir, I don't know what an entrepreneur is, but if you're financing it and it's legal, I'm gonna be one. Rainbows after storms, I became one. Seeing everybody in my neighborhood, which I just toured recently. At Compton, California, prison, probation, parole, and death because they did not take that banker seriously. They did not have good role models that like I had. Even though I was in a troubled situation at home, my mom and dad. My dad gave me says if yes I can. My mother gave me says, y yes I I am. Self esteem and self confidence and belief in myself. They didn't have those benefits. They were just as smart as me. And I was gonna waste the luck of my childhood experience, and I was to try to bring as many people along with me as I could, which is why when I asked that banker whether any more bankers like you, and he said, yeah, there's nout tens of thousands of bankers in America. And I said, wait a minute, and your job is to loan poor people money. Make me sure I understand it's properly. We're trying to get a loan from Booboo and then Pooky and them and the mafia and the gangs we try to get I mean, got a loan from a dude and I tried to pay him back and he was like, no, this is not alone. You pay back man. And he looked at me, He's like, you really are naive, aren't you. He's like, look, I'm gonna do you a favor. Go get get like you know, give me my money, and then get out of here and never come back. And I never let that lesson passed me by. He let me go. He could have killed me. He was saying that you are mine man. When I make you a loan, you are mine. You I own you. The interest and the penalties on this situation are such that you don't pay this long back. You just you could pay the principal back. You'll never pay the interest back. We're in a relationship. And he let me go. He saw that I had real potential. He saw I was not supposed to be there. And I've been visited by grace several times. But grace is enhands by hustle and good intentions and the right mindset and the right glow in your eyes. And you know, luck is in hands by your hard work. God helps those that help themselves. Again. Proverb says, to be poors, not to not have anything, to be poors not to not do anything, and lazy hands make a man poor. And so I took that lesson that this guy was like this banker's all across America tens of thousands of bankers and ten thousand banks at that time, and the job was to lend poor people money. So wait a minute, all I got to do is prove to you that I can pay it back and that yes. So what do I'm doing today? What are we doing at scale at fifteen hundred locations across the country with Operation Hope just one of my entities. I've got five divisions of my holding company with four hundred employees. Now the largest, uh, the largest enterprise in the country around inclusive economics. I'm the biggest. I'm I'm the leading entrepreneur around inclusive economics, at least in the United States of America. Hundreds of millions of dollars worth of economic activity four billion dollars plus, and investments in underserved neighborhoods. You know, raising credit score is lowering debt, increasing saviors, getting the bank out of the no business, no year declined for loan, getting him back in the yes business. The only nonfrog profit allowed to operate inside of a bank branch in US history. That's right. Ever, the biggest banks in the world have us in their branches, this little kid from confidence, south central LA. And I'm in major corporations, major banks, in the government advice the President of United States of America, because of my mindset, because I got my mind right, because I never gave up, never gave in. Over around that threw it would I mean, and I'm telling you that people, they absolutely discounted me, they absolutely disrespected me. I can't tell you how many times getting this in the book Up from Nothing, you can read that it's not about my successes, it's about my failures. All the people who looked at me and roll their eyes, they aren't rolling in their eyes anymore. But they if I had believed what they said to me at that point, I would have I would have given up. I would have thrown my hands up. But let me tell you something. Love is the only self renewing asset in the world. You love yourself and you know your God's child, You're just never gonna give up because you know that that failure is a you know, you know the dude, the Lucifer is a punk. Failure is lazy, just like Lucifer, the Devil's lazy, and failure's lazy. It's waiting for you to trip up on some easy stuff. But you just got to stay disciplined and focused again good habits, and never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever give up. And so this generation, I want you to understand that that that problems of what you experience, you get up in the morning. A challenge is something you get around to go through. It's not something they're supposed to stop you. I don't want you to think that that somebody's picking on you because life didn't work out for you today. No one promised your rose guard. Nobody promise your life will be good. Life was going to be free of grief or pain. Life is tough and so are you. And what what challenges are meant to do is to build your resiliency, build your self esteem, build your confidence, build your belief, build your you so that nobody can deny you. Know, one can can can step on you. Know it can tell you what you cannot do. What did doctor King say? Doctor King said, when he was in Memphis, Tennessey, right before he was assassinated with the sanitation workers there, they had these signs that I am a man in front of them. It was so beautiful, And he said no one can ride your back unless you're bent over, stand straight up. And by the way, doctor King got a C minus in public speaking from Krozier's seminary. I'm not kidding. Krozier seminary gave that man of C minus in public speaking. One of the professors said, if you don't stop talking like that, you'll never amount to anything. Thank god he had a sense of a focus and passion and distation and belief in himself. I got to see minus C plus in math and supposedly in the financial literacy success story for in whatever leader in the country helped to create federal policy for financial literacy in our federal government, inspired that under President Bush and President Obama work with President Clinton along these lines. Before that, I've worked with successive administrations and no nine presidents one. I don't claim and recognized by five. And I do my own thing. I get up in the morning, I do whatever I want, when I want, how I want, whatever, with whomever I want or not. Powers. You know, when you got the power, you don't need to use it. I don't scream outn't holler why I need to walk in that conveniced restaurant and announce who I was. He looked at me and knew I was somebody, And so will somebody look at you and know the same. When you are built to succeed, but you're gonna be built by failure. And that's okay. So here's some stories. You've heard me gone. You may say okay with this, John, You're an outlier, You're you're you. You know who can do you know, operation Hopes and turn around and do the promise homes company and sell that company for over one hundred million dollars five years later? And who can do this? And who can do that and have two hundred and fifty million views in part time online? Who can do it? You can do it. That's who can do it. I'm no different than you. I am you. I just believe. Do you believe? Here is what Denzel Washington had to say about the power of failure is He delivered a commencement address in twenty eleven the University of Pennsylvania. He said, to fall forward. He emphasized the idea that failing is inevitable, but instead of falling backwards or being paralyzed by fear, you should fall forward. He explained that when you fall forward, you at least make progress and learning from your mistakes, moving forward in your goals, even if it's difficult. He said number two that you should embrace failure. He talks about how failure is part of life and that you and that it should not be feared. He recalls his own personal experience, including auditioning for roles for being and being rejected early in his career. These failures didn't stop him. They made him stronger and more determined. And let me tell you something about the ultimate fear, which is death. You don't know how long you're gonna live, but you damn sure know you're gonna die. What's the mystery? So make peace with it. Doctor King one said, it's not about how long you live. It's about how well you live, how good you live your life. Don't be afraid of anything. We're not human beings having a spiritual experience. Where spiritual beings having a human experience. Energy matters, and if you have the right energy, you live forever, because people don't. You die even when you die. You died twice. You die physically, and you die the last sometimes last time someone mentions your name. And that's not about what you give it's about what you get, and it's about your energy. It's about your vibes. Is it about your It's about how you flow. I'm always surprised when people say, John, you're such an inspiration. I don't get that. I'm I'm just doing me, I'm just being me right. But I've created an energy about myself that is my signature. And this is what Denzel Washington is saying here. Number three said if you if you don't fail, you're not even trying. Washington encourage people to take risk and try things that might lead to failure, because if you're always playing it safe, you're not pushing your limits. And this is gonna be a common theme you're gonna hear during today's podcast. By the way, spread this on. Tell your friends to subscribe to Money and Wealth with John O'Brien on on Black Effect Network on the iHeart Radio. Tell them to go to Operation Hope and sign up to coaching and counseling fifteen hundred officers across the country scholarship through one hundred million dollars seventy five million dollars annual budget. I've raised me and my friend, me and my team at Operation Hope so that it doesn't cost you anything to get you ready and prepare for life. Get that book Financial Literacy for All as your instruction manual and mark it up, write it up right right in and underline it. But you're gonna hear this theme over and over again. If you don't fail, you're not even trying. He states that the Denzel Washington. He states that failure means you're at least trying to achieve something bigger, in audacious. Without trying, there's no success at all. Number four, he said, dream big, but remember that dreams without goals are just dreams. He urged graduates to dream big, but also to set goals, to move towards, to move toward those goals, and accept failure as a necessary part of reaching those goals. Again, it's not a determination of who you are. It's just simply saying you're on a journey and you tripped and fail. It's not about tripping and falling. It's getting back up at the rut, brushing yourself off again. I take no for vitamins again. What are you gonna do to me after I tell you I've been a homeless Tell me no I had know what I walked in your office. It doesn't bother me, it doesn't FaZe me. I'm not focusing on if I try one hundred times, I get ninety eight no's, I'm not thinking. I'm not I thinking about the ninety eight o's. I'm focusing on to two yeses. Can I get an amen? Number five? He says. Perseverance over fear. Washington challenges the audience to keep moving forward despite the fear of failure. He highlights how fear of failure can often prevent people from taking meaningful steps toward their ambitions. We're all just angels with dirty faces. A saint is a center that got up. I mean doctor King was called Martin Luther King, Martin Luther Kun, Uncle Tom sell out and want to be by his so called friends. Would he won the Nobel Peace Prize because they were player hating them and they were jealous And he died chainedmoking, overweight and depressed. Yes, he did because he thought he had failed. And I hope in heaven he can see through his consciousness and his unconscious spirit that he is enlightened and lit up the entire world. Mandela went to prison at forty seven, an angry black Man say that twenty seven years found his piece created effectively Mandela University, which is what the Prison Awards called it in his honor. And when he came out he wasn't happy, divorce his wife and married the love of his life. And everything that we know that he succeeded. He did it in his seventies and eighties. What can you do with a life that may end at seventy or eighty Perseverance over fear again Number five. Washington challenged the autists to keep moving forward despite the fear of failure, and he had a famous quote. You will fail at some point in your life. Accept it. You will lose, you will embarrass yourself. You will suck at something, maybe many things. I sucked at basketball, football was a tackling dummy. I broke my nose running in the guy in ways junior high school and playing basketball or either that broke either I ran to him or he did it intentionally. But I remember I just saw nothing but chess. I was pretty good at track, but you know, I just was organized sports like that wasn't my thing, wasn't my jam. I wasn't gonna get a sports scholarship, so I had to be smart then and what sport I ultimately found find I found when I was fifty years old. I found motorsports, full competitive allo racing license to day. And I'm pretty dang on good as a race car driver. You can find some of my videos online. And I'm not the fastest guy even on the track, but I'm very consistent, very smooth most of the times. And I, you know, as folks are overdoing it, I'm just doing it. And you know, I do pretty good typically. And if I make a mistake as typically because I'm just too much in my zone anyway, that's a whole other thing. But again I made a mistake, I wasn't a mistake, and I didn't let anybody, you know, tell me anything differently. But motorsports, you don't see a lot of people of color out there on racetrack, but once you put on the helmet, it's just the only race is racing, right. But I love going and doing things other people haven't done, are gone and done motorsports and sports, real estate and finance and technology, financial literacy, etc. In business where these are just not things that people of color were going after banking, et cetera. And I decided to master not because I focused on that, or I didn't pick them because somebody else was doing it. I picked them because they were opportunities, and I ignored the fact that that supposedly there are barriers. I just walked through life consciously oblivious of most things around me because it just doesn't matter. But people have opinions and their failures. They're tell you have a relationship, they don't have one. They'll tell you how that you can't get rich, you can't be successful. And they broke, they so poor, they can't afford the O are they broke? They so broke they can't pay attention. And they tell you what you cannot do. I mean, listen to me, now, if you hang around nine broke people, you'll be the tenth. Watch you hang around, watch your habits. Eagles don't fly impacts. Can you tell I love this podcast? This episode conclusion from Vitinzel Washington's commencement. Washington's messages that failure is not the end, but part of the process of achieving greatness. His own life serves as a testimony to this mindset, as he dealt with setbacks and rejections before becoming one of the most respected and well regarded actors in Hollywood. His advice all forward encourages people, which is the same advice I give you, by the way, to view failure as an opportunity for growth, not as a reason to stop trying. And let me tell you some some people who you admire and about their stories. Hank Aaron is often. I know his wife. I knew Hank Aaron, God rest his soul. And I know his wife, Billy Aaron. We hang out together, spend time together. She's we vacationed together. Ambassador Andrew Young, who also has experienced failure, by the way, he was fired as you and ambassador. Did you know that he was the first black UN ambassador in the history of America. He was fired as you and Ambassador United Nations. You an ambassador. Other failures along his way, perceived failures along the way as well. But success has a thousand mothers and failure as ambassard child, nobody remembers his failures. They like, I was just with him, you know yesterday. People like, oh my god, you're an icon, You're my hero. All they want to know is can take a picture with you. In fact, it's not only in spite of his failures, it's because of his resiliency through the rain. He was on that balcony when doctor King was assassinated, right, I mean, you don't think he carries guilt and responsibility on his shoulders seeing his friend assassinated right next to him. And he's still alive. And the FBI suggested that the instructions for the shooter were if if you've missed the dreamer killed the strategists, who you think the strategist was Andrew Young And yet he's gone on to do incredible things and became mayor, amongst other things, of Atlanta and built the only international city in the South. Economy it's almost five hundred billion dollars in the tenth lards economy in the US, at a place that is a symbol for everybody working together, black and white, red, brown and yellow. You want to have some more green as in economics. Back to Hank Aaron. So, Hank Aaron had the record for the most home runs. You know, you know that him and Barry Bonds I have the most, I believe, But did you know that at seven hundred and fifty five home runs, he also had thirteen hundred and eighty three strikeouts. And my friend Reggie Jackson also has a for an incredible record in baseball and is known as mister October. But he had twenty five hundred and ninety seven strikeouts. Barry Bonds at seven hundred and sixty two home runs and fifteen hundred and thirty nine strikeouts roughly ratio you know one point two. And Sammy Sosa with six hundred and nine home runs with three twenty three hundred and six strikeouts. Mark McGuire fired eighty three home runs fifteen hundred and ninety six strikeouts. You know, are you seeing something here? You cannot be a player. You cannot be a top end performer unless you swing at that ball, unless you risk something, unless you lean in, unless you are willing to risk it all, and you're gonna fail, You're gonna fall down. But no, nobody remembers all these strikeouts. The hitters who take big swings to generate power tend to strike out more frequently. However, this wasn't the case for their wins. In other words, the wins are not discounted because they swung more often. In fact, is enhanced because they never gave up. They were resilient That's really their incredible trait was that they were resilient. They just never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever gave up. Let me tell you about some folks that you really admire in sports. I think you admire, but you may not know the backstory. Michael Jordan arguably the best player in basketball, at least in modern history. Did you know he was cut from his high school varsity basketball team as a sophomore because the coach believed he wasn't tall enough or skilled enough. We know the outcome to that story. The fact we're about to operate show was about to partner with the family that did see his talent, the Rhinestor family, and Chicago has met with the family that owns a Buffalo Bills. We're about to do some financial literacy work anyway, just thinking about that. Because of Michael Jordan, Tom Brady drafted in the sixth round. Did you hear that? In the sixth round? One hundred and ninety ninth pick overall. Listen to me. Now, you guys want to romanticize success and you get a you know, a paper cut, or you know, you know, some of your credit card gets turned down. My credit card used to always get turned down, or you don't get a credit line, or you don't get a client you know, or you you you blow up presentation, or somebody doesn't like you, or somebody doesn't somebody, somebody says something bad on comments on your Instagram posts that devastates your self esteem, will then you have a self esteem to begin with. It's okay if you don't like me. I like me, As Quincy Jones once said, not one out of my self esteem depends on your acceptance of me. And when people say things about me on social media that I don't appreciate, I take it as an opportunity to create a new post. They say something that it's in most cases ignorant and it's uninformed, then I will then gently correct them, giving them more respect than they gave me, and I'll correct the record. I'll use that an opportunity to correct the record out set a whole new stream of conversation. And has been often the case that the comment that I made to the disrespectful comment made about a post that I put up, that that becomes a whole nother discussion thread with literally hundreds of comments, views, and likes or whatever. At another opportunity to learn. But that person doesn't know me that that person's not saying about me. That person is not bad. I don't really care what that person's opinion is about me. I'm trying. I'm the one giving free content out. I'm the one for giving free games. As jay Z would say in his album four four four, I'm giving you a million dollars worth a game for nine ninety nine. I'm giving you give it see for no ninety nine. You don't paying me a thing? So how you dare you come on my thread and tell me off? No, just go away bye, by Felicia. I'm passionate about it. I'm not upset about it. It's humorous to me. You're hitting your face with my fists. You're hitting your face against my fists. What do you doing to herd me? Not a thing because the comments I'm talking about, they're ignorant there and they're wrong, which means a person's broke because they're saying stuff that doesn't make any sense about a topic that I actually know about. There's a lot of things I don't know about, but this topic I absolutely do because I've lived my truth. Tom Brady again drafted the sixth round one hundred ninety nine pick overall of the two thousand NFL draft, Considered by many to lack the athleticism and arm strength to succeed at the professional level. What is Tom Brady today? Regarded as one of the greatest, if not the greatest quarterback in NFL history, with seven Super Bowl championships and numerous records enough said. Soccer player player Lionel Messi, diagnosed with growth hormone deficiencies child many believed he wouldn't grow big or strong enough to play professional soccer, became one of the greatest soccer players in history. Serena Williams grew up in Comfer, California, where I grew up and played tennis. Plays tennis. Early in her career, Williams faced criticism for her unconventional playing style and was often overshadowed by her sister, Venus. Serena became one of the most dominant players in tennis history, with twenty three Grand Slam single titles and recognition is one of the greatest athletes of all times, with a great relationship with her sister. I might add, when you got the power, you don't need to use it. You know you have high self esteem. I did a Forbes Black interview and I said, you know, probably the greatest problem in facing Black America is low self esteem. Like I said, somebody's watching this piece right now, going who's he think he is? What is he? Why is he talking? I'm talking because I've done something, And why are you committed? Why are you doing anything other than commending it? Like why wouldn't you just sit there and go, Bravo, there's a brother who's done something. You may not like what the way I do, my style, how I flow, You may not do it the way I do it, by the way I really, I really respect me and learned that like me that liked me and never respect me anyway. But but why wouldn't you just commend it? Oh my god, that's fantastic. He's successful, he has succeeded. Let's let me maybe there's something some lessons in there for me. Like I'm not crazy about Elon Musk. I just saw him a few weeks ago, and me saw I mean, he was at the same meeting I was at. Not that I have a relationship with him. I've seen him several times up close, but I don't really have a great interest in getting to know him because I just don't like his personal views. I don't like I don't like how he flows in his humanity. But I think he's a genius. I think that you cannot discount what he did in space, what he's doing in space. I subscribe to his Starlink service. I have his portable satellites and all of my my my offices and mobile mobile vans and whatever. Tesla is a great, great car, by the way, I'll give him his genius. I just don't personally care for him, but I'm gonna I'm gonna acknowledge your gifts, right, I mean this is taken away from me to acknowledge that you got it going on, right, and that's it. And if somebody's dogging you, hurt people. Hurt people. That's what I'm saying. So let me move on to the positive here so you can get these lessons. Shaquille O'Neil Shaq struggled with free throws and was often criticized early in his career for unpolished For an unpolished game, O'Neill went on to become one of the most dominant players in the NBA history, winning four championships and earning MVPA honors, and he's a fabulous businessman. Jackie Robinson a keem olajuwon, Steve Young. These are other examples. Young struggled in the USFL and then as a backup to Joe Montana with the San Francisco forty nine Ers. Initially regarded is not good enough to lead an NFL team, Young eventually took over for Montana, leading the forty nine ers to Super Bowl win and earning two inn FL MVP awards, and uh, and then you got business. Right. We don't have time to go through all of these examples, right, but I'm just a getting I just want you to understand that you're you're You're not alone, right, You're not You're not there's nothing wrong with you. You just don't love yourself enough. You don't believe in yourself enough. And you you take other people too seriously, take life seriously, don't take yourself too seriously and showing up. Don't take somebody else seriously. All they have is an opinion. It's just their opinion. Is eight being people in the world. Go talk to somebody else. I'm telling you. I can tell you the one thing I regret in my life is I took I took people who didn't matter. Everybody matters in God's eyes, but but in business, in life and whatever. Like I took somebody's opinion of me too seriously, which mean I didn't have a high enough opinion of myself. Look, I'm trying. I don't want you to leave this and be arrogant and obnoxious, because that's and that that's true is a sign of insecurity. You're not as bad as your compliment, You're not as bad as your criticisms. You're not as good as your compliments. You just you are who you are. Why why be moved one way or the other. You know, if a bachelor young or Bishop td jigs or reverences to murray God rest of soul, or my mother or my father or my wife shake or somebody who I really respect and admire has something critical to say about me, I'm paying attention, I'm listening. I'm not saying words. I know they have my best interests, and they're smart and they're wise, and they know things I don't. But if if some fool's coming up to me who clearly is hating on me because he's jealous or envious, or unsuccessful in his own life, are just angry and upset. What I mean, all I have to say is when you finish with all that, are you done? You can either hear what I have to say, or I can leave, or you can leave. But I mean and consider the source. Steve Jobs in business. Jobs Will fired from Apple, the company he co founded, Fire from his own company in nineteen eighty five after internal conflicts with the board and the CEO. Fired from his own company. After being ousted, Jobs founded Next, a company called Next and by the way, that didn't do very well for ten years. Also and bought Pixar, which is a brid move, both of which ultimately thrived. He eventually returned to Apple, transforming it into one of the most valuable companies in the world with products that I used today like the iPhone, the iPad, the iPod, the iTunes, you get it. The dude so dominant you don't even realize he's a co founder of Apple. This Wozniak, who is the genius engineer who is not a great marketer. He's a genius engineer who really was a backbone of Apple. But that's how that's how amazing Steve and Steve jobs. It appears not a very nice man didn't really like philanthropy. I'm not sure I would have liked them personally, But again, I'm gonna give him props for his genius. Giving somebody love and respect it. Admiration and credit does not take away from you. It says something about you when you do. The person that who is succeeding doesn't need your claim, and they appreciate it. They've already succeeded. They're doing their they're living their truth. It says more about you if you play Hayden Spending. All successful people talk about their ideas. People were failing talk about other people. Hello Walt Disney, as in the Walt Disney Company. Disney was fired from a newspaper job for lacking creativity ca this is so funny. It had multiple business failures, including his first animation studio, laugh O Graham, which went bankrupt. Disney persisted, eventually founding the Walt Disney Company, which grew into a global entertainment empire, revolutionizing animation in theme parks. Thomas Edison, who you know, the inventor general electric et cetera. Edison famously failed thousands of times when attempting to invent the electric light bulb. In many of his early projects, like the automatic vote recorder, were commercial flops. Edison eventually succeeded in creating the incandescent light bulb and built an innovative powerhouse in General Election become General Electric, the company ge becoming one of the most prolific inventors in history. And by the way, Thomas Edison's mintee side note was a guy named Tesla. That's right, Elon must did not create the name. He just named the car after the inventor. But Tesla was a bad boy who was also prolific inventor, and when he went to Edison with his ideas, Edison ignored him, so he went Tesla went off of his own and got his own back. Or They were little in competition with each other for a while, and of course Edison was a better marketer, had bigger backing, and so on and so forth. But again, even the understory was part of the American and world story today because he never gave up Henry Ford. I know Henry Ford to third, He's a good friend of mine. Is on my boarded Operation Hope. Henry Ford for it's early businesses. This is the founder of Ford, including the Detroit Automotive Company, which failed and he was viewed as a failure in the auto industry before founding Hello the Ford Motor Company with a model T and assembly line production. Ford revolutionized the automobile industry and became one of the most successful industrial industrialists of his time. And he basically created the middle class. He paid his workers enough to buy the automobiles that they were making and whil a. Now, he also was an interesting dude with sketchy some sketchy elements and was viewed you know, I don't want to get into it, but he had interesting views about certain kinds of people and all kind of stuff. And uh again, this is not about you know, breaking down somebody I'm What I'm saying is that, very much like Steve Jobs at Elon Mush, you can have genius and still be this imperfect person, but you can still acknowledge somebody for the genius that they have because no one's perfect. There is no perfect, just like there's nothing wrong with failure. Again, a saint is a center that got up. We're all angels with dirty faces. Here's how I live my life. Talk without being offensive, Listen without being defensive and always leave even your adversary with their dignity because if you don't to spend the rest of their life work and then make you miserable, it becomes personal. So you step over mess and not in it. Don't rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic and you're picking drapes and the ship is sinking. Like, get on with the purpose and a mission in your life. Be about something yourself. It's so easy to criticize somebody, right, don't be in the don't be the chief chief criticism officer. Don't be in the chief rock throwing officer. Like, do something yourself? Are you afraid to fail? Is that really what's going on? So it's better to bring somebody down to your level. In the Rise of Theirs, Hello, can I get an amen? Howard Schultz Starbucks. Schultz was rejected by over two hundred investors when he was trying to get funding to transform Starbucks from a local coffee being retailer into a powerhouse chain. Schultz persisted and eventually grew Starbucks into the global coffee house giant it is today with thousands of stores worldwide. Oprah Winfrey, who I love, know her We're not dear friends or anything, but she gave it. I do nowhere and we have a good relationship. She gave me my Usual Life Award when I was earlier in my career and gave me some encouragement. I was so nervous when I met her. But anyway, you can put the photo of us, her, me and my parents up online. You see how young I looked in that picture. Failure for Oprah came early. She was early in her career. She faced professional setbacks, including being demoted from a TV news anchor because she was deemed unfit for television. Can you believe that Winfrey went on to become one of the most successful and influential media moguls in history, launching The Oprah Winfrey Show and building a media empire that includes Harpo Productions and the Oprah Winfrey Network owned Today And she's a nice person. By the way, most people who are truly successful, they're nice people. All success does this amplifies who you really are. So if you're a jerk, you become successful, you become a really big jerk who's successful. If you're a nice person who's successful, become a really really nice person who success, which just amplifies who you really are. Jeff Bezos, who again, so many people I know. I don't know Jeff not well, but I know my friend Van Jonzo's a much better He gave jan Fan one hundred million dollars of his wealth, a man of that failure. In his early days, Amazon lost money for several years and faced intense skepticism from investors who doubted Bezos's vision of an online marketplace for everything. Bezo state the Chorus, and Amazon became one of the largest and most influential companies in the world. Revolution e commerce, cloud computing, and more. My friend Toby Lutke, who is a genius, I was just with him a couple of weeks ago, founded Shopify, which is sort of the somewhat competitor of Amazon, big e commerce giant. They partners who won MBB one million Black business initiatives. You know, he originally wanted to do some like a not a ski hut, but it was basically it was tied to I'm not a skier, right, snowboarding. I think it was a snowboarding shop, and that's really what do you want to do? He wanted to open initially and that didn't work out very well, but he ended up tripping over and launching Shopify, and that is one of the biggest companies in the world, and certainly one of the biggest companies in Canada, which is where he's based. And he's got in his headquarters a mock up of the snowboarding business that would have been Rainbows after Storms. Colonel Sanders Sanders reject was rejected over one thousand times while trying to sell his fried chicken recipe to restaurant owners in his sixties. In his sixties, after a series of business failures on top of that, eventually his Kentucky Fried Chicken we call a KFC today took off and Sanders became an international brand icon with KF KFC expanding globally. Sarah Blakely, who you know, I don't know where, but I know her respector Blakely, the founder of spanks, failed in her failed her law school interest exam multiple times. By the way, I failed the California Really Real Estate tests three times. You know how hard it is to fail at California real estate test. You can breathe in a mirror and walk you can pass the test. I failed it three times. If you fail at four times, they say you're so stupid that you could never take it again. Ever, I passed it the fourth time again. This stuff just humors me. Like, you know, I don't take stuff personally. I certainly doesn't say aything about me other than I was sleepy that day and didn't get any rest, and I didn't prepare, and so I felt a stupid test. I just went and took it again. Big deal. It's just an outcomeing to experiment. God willing to creak, dune rise tomorrow will come. You take it over again. Resiliency, just keep moving. It's hard to hit him moving target. So she failed this law schooled entrance exam multiple times, struggled through several sales jobs before coming up with the idea of Spanks. After facing rejection from manufacturers and industry insiders, she eventually succeeded in launching Spanks, building it into a billion dollar company, becoming one of the youngest self made female billionaires. Now you know, there's Read Hastings, who I know was a dear friend, Richard Branson, who I've met but wouldn't say I know him well. Actually I don't know him well, but I've met him Fred Smith of FedEx. Richard Branson is Virgin Airlines. You know FedEx Smith's initial Fred Smith, the founder, initial business plan for FedEx was given a C by his professor at Yale, and the company struggled to stay afloat financially in its early years. Smith revolutionized the logistics industry by creating FedEx, which became the largest overnight shipping company in the world. And you know the guy who created UPS I think his name is Kelly U based here in Atlanta, and one of our partners, you know, he he he was a bicycle messenger company, which is modestly successful. But when he hooked that connected that with I think it was Ford Motor Company and delivery and automobiles came together and he never gave up. Boom. Here comes UPS, right, which is UH, which is a you know, a globe, a global you know, logistics powerhouse. And you know these always go on and on and on. You have Robert Downey Jr. In Hollywood, who's you know, he had early success in the nineteen eighties, but you know, but his career was almost derailed by substance abuse in nineteen nineties head he faced arrests jail time. But by the way, it's interesting how some of my white brothers and sisters can rebound from this. But if you're black and get to the Saint go through the same stuff, you're just gone, gone, gone, you know, you don't come back, which is by the way, again, I've taken that out also as a point of distinction that I can't afford. If you're born if you're born black, you're born on you're born on probation. In America. You know, by twice as smart, twice as intelligence, twice as well dressed twice, you got to you got to get up earlier, stayed later, work harder, stay later, lean in. No, you're not gonna get a break. No, you know, no one's gonna cut your break. So just you know, be excellent all the time. But haters make you better. Because you're not, you may not get a second shot. Doctor King was a practical jokester, but he wouldn't beating a bit serious for fear that he'd be written off or discounted. So he was serious all the time. But anyway, Robert Downey Jr. Shot you can't decide whether you're born black or white or so I'm not blaming Robert Downey Jr. For being born privileged, but he took advantage of the fact that he could bounced back, and he did. Downy's comeback became The Iron Man, which I love. That movie is one of my favorites in the world. He revived his career and launched the Marble Universe series, making him one of the highest paid actors in the world and successful to this day. Sylvester Salone was rejected by numerous studios early in his career, often told he didn't have the look or the talent for leading Rose. His script for Rocky was also repeatedly rejected, and when it was finally accepted, he was told he couldn't star in it. Stallone insisted on starring in Rocky That Was nineteen seventy six, which became a massive success and launched his career as an A list actor. An action star, Shalish Thorne was struggled to get rolls or early on, and was even dropped by her agent after he told her she'd never make it in the industry. She wouldn't work, she couldn't work, she didn't have what it took. After several smaller rows, she broke through with her Oscar winning performance in Monster That Was two thousand and three, and that established her as one of the highest Hollywood stars ever, and she continued to kill it succeed proven that she was not just a one hit wonder. Harrison Ford he worked as a carpenter just like Jesus while trying to break into acting. Jesus wasn't trying to break in acting, but it was the same profession. He was told by studio executives he didn't have what it took to be a leading man. In his early career was marked by small, mostly forgettable roles. Ford's big break came when George Lucas cast him as Hans Solo in Star Wars That Was seventy seven, followed by his iconic roles in India as Indiana Jones, making him one of the biggest stars in cinematic history. Meryl Streep, you know, rejection, rejection, rejection, and then she got She was told that she was too ugly for a Roland King Kong, and you believe people are that cruel in Hollywood. Despite her early criticism, Street went on to become one of the most acclaimed actresses in history, winning three Academy awards and earning more nominations than any other actor you have. Morgan Freeman, Melissa McCarthy, JK. Simmons went on a writer, Ben Affleck. These are examples of people who again had these failures and and turned it into you know, into incredible fortunes and promise, and the stories go on and on and on. But my message to you is you can do it. Over the rounded, through it, you can do it. My message to you is that you're built to win. That God gave you unique fingerprints, He made you special in this world. There's nobody just like you in the world. And whether you believe you can and whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right that you are. You are whatever and whomever you decide you're going to be that The glasses have half full or is half empty. It's the same glass, depends who's looking at the glass. How do you see yourself? How do you see what's going on? Is what's going on going to destroy you or is it just going to make you more determined to win. I get up every day optimistic, positive, believing in myself, believing in my ideas and my dreams, very focused on what I want to do people you tell me, oh, come hang out with us, can party while you're hanging around that sitting around the computer reading the book, you know, reading a book. I don't know, because I want to learn. The same people who tell me that are failures, not all of them, but many of them, including somebody talked to last week, want to come work for me now because they're they wouldn't have the parties they had the fun they you know, they hung out, they went and partied and whatever, and for what, you know, that didn't lead to anywhere. You're partying in somebody else's club, drinking somebody else's overpriced liquor celebrating somebody else's success in business with your dollars at their establishment. I'm not saying to go out and have fun. But only in the dictionary does the word success come before the word work, because it's alphabetical. You got to do the work first and then you go have fun. And I've always enjoyed the work. It's not even work for me. I enjoy the I'm passionate about what I do. You can hear it in my voice. I hope. I love what I do, and I love creating, I love building, and I love, I love excelling, I love helping people. I've got a real strong vision for what i want to do. And by the way, I just say this because I want to. There are no ugly billionaires, So you want to really succeed, succeed and all the other things will come to you. Look, just live your life, live your truth, and understand that nobody else has a better idea of your life, and you do. Maybe your parents might, right, but if you're rooted, if you're grounded in who you are, you probably have a pretty good sense for what you can do and who you are and what your vision is. And I want you to as long as you're again levelheaded, you got a good business plan for your life, and you're not being irrational, you know, then then pursue it with all your passion, all your your your gusto. What's the worst could happen? Okay, it didn't work out, you failed, but that's just that's just the experiment, that's just what happened in this moment. Life is long. You take care of yourself. You lived to close to one hundred. How many opportunities you're gonna have to take a w and and maybe you take an al ten times more. You take a w but no one's gonna remember the ale as in the loss. People to remember the win, because people want to win. This world was made for good. We learned bad. It light defines darkness, not the other way around. This world. This world's made for love. It's made for good energy love. It's made for winning. In spite of, If not because of, we don't love because of we. If we love because of we wouldn't even love ourselves. We love in spite of and in spite of our differences, in spite of our insecurities, in spite of our shortcomings. Still, God has made us to win. And I believe that you're a winner. This is John O'Brien. This is Money and Wealth on the Black Effect Network podcast series on iHeartRadio. Tell your friends to subscribe, Share this podcast with others. Go to Operation Hope and get your coaching. Get the book Financial Literacy for All change your life. It's all up to you. Money and Wealth with John O'Brien is a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from the Black Effect Podcast Network, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,