Bron is joined by Marie Vakakis (Mental Health Social Worker, Couple and Family Therapist) to unpack how to work with affairs and betrayal in therapy. Using hypothetical cases, Marie walks through what to do when an individual client discloses an affair, and how to support couples after an affair is discovered.

They chat about:
👉🏽 Affairs as “turning away” from a relationship, and how to discuss affairs in individual therapy without judgement or shame
👉🏻 The Gottman Therapy model of "Atone, Attune, Attach" for affair recovery
👉 What meaningful atonement looks like, including holding space for triggers months or years later
👉🏿 Handling disagreements about whether cheating has happened using structured conversations

This is a complex topic for early and later-career mental health workers alike, and Marie takes us through it with her characteristic calm expertise. Thanks Marie! 😊

Guest: Marie Vakakis, Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Couple and Family Therapist

LINKS
Marie’s masterclass on working with affairs, betrayal, and trust ruptures in couples therapy
Supervision with Marie
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
Healing the Trauma of Infidelity by William M. Bumberry
Gottman Treating Affairs and Trauma training
This Complex Life podcast and Inside Social Work podcast
Previous Mental Work episodes with Marie

THE END BITS

Mental Work is the podcast for psychologists about the realities of working in mental health, with an early-career focus. Hosted by psychologist/researcher Dr Bronwyn Milkins.

Support the show by buying me a virtual coffee ☕🍵

Have a question, episode idea or just want to say hi? DM Bron on Instagram, leave a comment on the Spotify episode, or email mentalworkpodcast@gmail.com

Apply to be a guest / YouTube (with captions & transcript) / Website

CREDITS

Producer: Michael English

Music: Home

Commitment: Mental Work believes in an inclusive and diverse mental health workforce. We honour the strength, resilience, and invaluable contributions of mental health workers with lived experiences of mental illness, disability, neurodivergence, LGBTIQA+ identities, and diverse culture and language. We recognise our First Nations colleagues as Traditional Custodians of the land and pay respect to Elders past, present, and emerging. Mental Work is recorded on unceded Whadjuk Noongar boodja.

Disclaimer: Mental Work provides informational content. Mental Work is not a psychological service and being a listener or guest does not establish a therapeutic relationship. Content should not be considered a replacement for professional consultation or therapy. All views expressed are personal, subject to change, and do not represent those of any affiliated employer, service, or organisation past or present. Efforts are made to ensure accuracy, but opinions may not always align with fact. Listeners are encouraged to thoughtfully assess the information presented and report any inaccuracies or concerns via email. Further information can be found here.

Bron is joined by Marie Vakakis (Mental Health Social Worker, Couple and Family Therapist) to unpack how to work with affairs and betrayal in therapy. Using hypothetical cases, Marie walks through what to do when an individual client discloses an affair, and how to support couples after an affair is discovered.
They chat about: 👉🏽 Affairs as &ldquo;turning away&rdquo; from a relationship, and how to discuss affairs in individual therapy without judgement or shame 👉🏻 The Gottman Therapy model of "Atone, Attune, Attach" for affair recovery 👉 What meaningful atonement looks like, including holding space for triggers months or years later 👉🏿 Handling disagreements about whether cheating has happened using structured conversations
This is a complex topic for early and later-career mental health workers alike, and Marie takes us through it with her characteristic calm expertise. Thanks Marie! 😊
Guest: <a href="https://marievakakis.com.au/">Marie Vakakis</a>, Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Couple and Family Therapist
LINKS
<ul dir="ltr">
<li><a href="https://marievakakis.com.au/working-with-affairs-betrayal-and-trust-ruptures-in-couples-therapy/">Marie&rsquo;s masterclass on working with affairs, betrayal, and trust ruptures in couples therapy</a></li>
<li><a href="https://marievakakis.com.au/clinical-supervision/">Supervision with Marie</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/State-Affairs-Rethinking-Infidelity/dp/0062322583">The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity</a> by Esther Perel</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Healing-Trauma-Infidelity-Rebuilding-Attachment/dp/1648485723">Healing the Trauma of Infidelity</a> by William M. Bumberry</li>
<li><a href="https://www.gottman.com/shop/treating-affairs-and-trauma/">Gottman Treating Affairs and Trauma training</a></li>
<li><a href="https://marievakakis.com.au/podcast/">This Complex Life podcast</a> and <a href="https://marievakakis.com.au/inside-social-work/">Inside Social Work podcast</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.mentalworkpodcast.com/guests/marie-vakakis/">Previous Mental Work episodes with Marie</a></li>
</ul>
THE END BITS
Mental Work is the podcast for psychologists about the realities of working in mental health, with an early-career focus. Hosted by psychologist/researcher <a href="https://www.mentalworkpodcast.com/about/" data-airgap-id="8">Dr Bronwyn Milkins</a>.
Support the show by <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/mentalwork" data-airgap-id="9">buying me a virtual coffee</a> ☕🍵
Have a question, episode idea or just want to say hi? <a href="https://www.instagram.com/_mentalworkpodcast/" data-airgap-id="10">DM Bron on Instagram</a>, leave a comment on the <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/5ifKADwT3mw6yYDZb9rHji" data-airgap-id="11">Spotify episode</a>, or <a href="mailto:mentalworkpodcast@gmail.com" data-airgap-id="12">email mentalworkpodcast@gmail.com</a>
<a href="https://www.podpage.com/mentalwork/p/guest/" data-airgap-id="13">Apply to be a guest</a> / <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@MentalWorkPodcast" data-airgap-id="14">YouTube (with captions &amp; transcript)</a> / <a href="https://www.mentalworkpodcast.com/" data-airgap-id="15">Website</a>
CREDITS
Producer: Michael English
Music: <a href="https://home96.bandcamp.com/" data-airgap-id="16">Home</a>
Commitment: Mental Work believes in an inclusive and diverse mental health workforce. We honour the strength, resilience, and invaluable contributions of mental health workers with lived experiences of mental illness, disability, neurodivergence, LGBTIQA+ identities, and diverse culture and language. We recognise our First Nations colleagues as Traditional Custodians of the land and pay respect to Elders past, present, and emerging. Mental Work is recorded on unceded Whadjuk Noongar boodja.
Disclaimer: Mental Work provides informational content. Mental Work is not a psychological service and being a listener or guest does not establish a therapeutic relationship. Content should not be considered a replacement for professional consultation or therapy. All views expressed are personal, subject to change, and do not represent those of any affiliated employer, service, or organisation past or present. Efforts are made to ensure accuracy, but opinions may not always align with fact. Listeners are encouraged to thoughtfully assess the information presented and report any inaccuracies or concerns via <a href="mailto:mentalworkpodcast@gmail.com" data-airgap-id="17">email</a>. Further information can be found <a href="https://www.mentalworkpodcast.com/p/disclaimer/" data-airgap-id="18">here</a>.

Mental Work is the podcast about working in mental health for psychologists, with an early-career focus. Hosted by Psychologist Dr Bronwyn Milkins.

Mental Work is the podcast about working in mental health for psychologists, with an early-career focus. Hosted by Psychologist Dr Bronwyn Milkins.

A closer look at the everyday challenges faced by early-career mental health workers, so they don’t have to go it alone.