Avoiding arguments over the holidays

Break 1

Adult children living at home

Break 2

My son-in-law drinks too much

Doug shares tips for surviving the 4th of July picnic with family while avoiding arguments.

 

Listener questions and comments:
Doug - At the family functions there is an emphasis on the drinking during the 4th. I can’t drink because my dad is an alcoholic so I want to know what I should do. (29:27)
Jane - My son in law's father died from alcohol and I find that he drinks too much. What should I do? Should I say something? (38:42)
Julie - For the 4th I always use leading questions like you do in the beginning of your show that are not threatening at the dinner table. (44:23)
Judy - My husband was an alcoholic and I want to say having beer and wine around isn’t the solution if the problem is hard stuff. But prayer is the best thing to do. (46:16)

 

Resources:

Reasons we argue at family gatherings
Family knows where the hot buttons are
We tend to regress when we are around family
Holidays are loaded with expectations
The weather adds fuel to the fire

 

8 tips to avoid unnecessary arguments
Decide before you arrive, what person you want to be
Know your triggers – What topics usually get you hooked?
Stop trying to change people at the picnic table
Use some short boundary statements
Lower the temperature instead of raising it
Change the topic
Change the setting
Come up with a code word for you and your spouse to use

Doug shares tips for surviving the 4th&nbsp;of July picnic with family while avoiding arguments.
&nbsp;
Listener questions and comments:
<ul>
<li>Doug - At the family functions there is an emphasis on the drinking during the 4th. I can&rsquo;t drink because my dad is an alcoholic so I want to know what I should do. (29:27)</li>
<li>Jane - My son in law's father died from alcohol and I find that he drinks too much. What should I do? Should I say something? (38:42)</li>
<li>Julie - For the 4th I always use leading questions like you do in the beginning of your show that are not threatening at the dinner table. (44:23)</li>
<li>Judy - My husband was an alcoholic and I want to say having beer and wine around isn&rsquo;t the solution if the problem is hard stuff. But prayer is the best thing to do. (46:16)</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Resources:
Reasons we argue at family gatherings
<ol>
<li>Family knows where the hot buttons are</li>
<li>We tend to regress when we are around family</li>
<li>Holidays are loaded with expectations</li>
<li>The weather adds fuel to the fire</li>
</ol>
&nbsp;
8 tips to avoid unnecessary arguments
<ol>
<li>Decide before you arrive, what person you want to be</li>
<li>Know your triggers &ndash; What topics usually get you hooked?</li>
<li>Stop trying to change people at the picnic table</li>
<li>Use some short boundary statements</li>
<li>Lower the temperature instead of raising it</li>
<li>Change the topic</li>
<li>Change the setting</li>
<li>Come up with a code word for you and your spouse to use</li>
</ol>

Marriage Unhindered is a sincere exploration of the joys and challenges within the realm of marriage. Hosted by the seasoned Doug Hinderer, this one-hour, caller-based show is scheduled to air Monday through Friday at 5PM CT, and will offer listeners an authentic journey into the complexities of marital relationships.

Marriage Unhindered is a sincere exploration of the joys and challenges within the realm of marriage. Hosted by the seasoned Doug Hinderer, this one-hour, caller-based show is scheduled to air Monday through Friday at 5PM CT, and will offer listeners an authentic journey into the complexities of marital relationships.