Marriage Unhindered

Doug celebrates the beauty of marriage. Listeners share brief stories of love and commitment. Their stories highlight faith, devotion, and lasting love.   Niki - I married my high school sweetheart and we went through the motions with our faith but recently we have come together and are closer to God. We are now expecting a baby after 6 years of infertility. (8:47) Colleen - My husband noticed me in high school. He was a JV basketball player and I was a cheerleader. (11:09) Elizabeth - My husband saved my life on the second date. We have been married for 30 years. (22:26) Joseph - I met my wife in 1984 and we got married in 1992. I knew within 2 weeks that I would marry her. I prayed to the Blessed Mother and she sent me my wife. (30:36) Laura - My husband and I met in college. I am a Cubs fan and he is a Cardinals fan. When I flew home for a break and I got turned around in St Louis, he turned around and came back to get me. (32:51) Alyssa - We met during our youth group days and we finally got married. (37:25) Diane - My husband made a delivery to our office and he knocked over some plants when he was backing up his truck and we started talking that day. (39:23) Pete – I am a Cubs fan. I married a White Sox fan, and it’s working well after 35 years! (45:02)

Monica Hinderer joins Doug for a thoughtful conversation about the challenges of parenting, the importance of community and support, and navigating emotions during conflict.   Listener questions and comments: Chris - My wife and daughter get into fights and my daughter is only 7. I need advice. (27:29) Roger - My daughter is moving in with her boyfriend. What should I do? (44:03)   Resources: Monica Hinderer https://www.monicahinderer.com/

How do you respond when you get cancelled by your daughter-in-law? What do you do when your husband’s brain surgery changes his personality and he is very abusive? Doug goes to the mailbag answering these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: Deedee - Applause to Doug for answering that question well. Jesus said to forgive 7 x 70 times. (19:29)

Is it appropriate for someone of the opposite sex to give your spouse a massage at work? Can fasting result in a happier marriage? Where do you draw the line with verbally abusive teenagers? Doug answers these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: Colleen - I totally agree that the massage is not ok. But you glossed over him saying 'you didn’t have permission'. That’s a red flag in my book. (15:31)   Resources:   Monica Hinderer https://www.monicahinderer.com/

Dr. Johann D’Souza joins Doug to discuss the inverted family. They unpack the dynamic of the anxious mother and explore the importance of the father taking a leading role in protecting and guiding his family amid the pressures of the culture.   Listener questions and comments: Maria - My granddaughter is 28. She said to me, 'I choose to have you out of my life'. What do I do? (32:28)   Resources: https://www.johanndsouza.com/neversmartphone

What should you do when you learn something shocking about your spouse that happened many years ago? How should you deal with loneliness in marriage? Doug answers these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: Mark - Responding to the email about an invalid marriage: Deceit alone is not going to make a marriage invalid. (36:06)   Resources:   Marriage Unhindered https://www.marriageunhindered.com/   The Forgiveness Institute https://internationalforgiveness.com/   Marriage Unhindered shows on forgiveness https://relevantradio.com/?cat=26671&s=Forgiveness   Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love https://www.amazon.com/Eight-Dates-Essential-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/1523504463   Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage https://www.amazon.com/Lessons-Transform-Your-Marriage-Strengthening/dp/1400050197

Greg Schutte joins Doug to share why married couples need a commitment to change throughout their marriage.   Listener questions and comments: Pat - How do I handle my granddaughter getting married to another woman? (8:10) Andy - My wife and I are having a hard time due to her drinking and every time it happens it creates an argument. (13:13) Sharon - Comment for Andy: I recommend Al-Anon and an AA meeting. (25:20) Barbara - I work in drug and alcohol rehabilitation and it runs in my family. You must go to these meetings as soon as possible. (26:53) Mary - I have been married for 40 years and we have been to counseling for many years. We have had low intimacy for the last few years and now he is wanting to be sexually active. (28:58) Tom - I have a daughter and a new born and I feel anger coming out of my wife. I don’t know how to manage it. What should I do? 40:27   Resources: Building a Eucharistic Marriage https://www.eucharisticmarriage.org/   Marriage Works! Ohio https://trustmarriage.com/

Fr. Rob Ryan and Fr. John LoCoco join Doug to discuss an upcoming singles night at St. Benedict Catholic Church in Chicago. Doug also talks about the challenges of dating and what to look for in a future spouse.   Listener questions and comments: Lisa - If you are a female, go to where the men are: the lakes, the beach and hiking. (21:12) Bobby - It’s hard to tell a spouse you don’t like who they hang around with because you might be suggesting they are similar to that group. They might say 'you don’t trust me?' (39:20) Elma - Is it ok to date a widower of only one month? (42:30) Maureen - I used to be a professional matchmake. For Catholics: what a great time to check out the singles at confession. (46:45)   Resources:   Catholic Catch Singles Trivia Pre-Registration https://forms.cloud.microsoft/pages/responsepage.aspx?id=o-0BRmklpkqOCzBfwpVBLl-LqlRwJghFqZHL9AOb2yNUNDVNSzUzWEdUMzQzRDlTRU5aT0FPSzdFQyQlQCNjPTEu&route=shorturl   20 best ways to find a date in real life Sign Up for a Fitness Class / dance lessons Attend Community Events Take a Class That Interests You Say Yes to Social Invitations Become a Regular Somewhere such as a coffee shop Volunteer for a Cause Join a Sports League Attend Networking Events Explore Bookstores and Libraries Take Part in Group Travel or Tours Attend Live Music Events Join a Hobby Group Take Dance Lessons Attend Faith-Based or Spiritual Events Sign Up for a Public Speaking or Improv Class Explore Outdoor Activities Register for Workshops or Seminars Become an Active Member of Your Neighborhood Attend Friend-of-a-Friend Gatherings Focus on Living a Full Life   4 Things to look for when you are dating Does the person ask questions about you and listen for the answers? Do they treat people of lesser status well? Are they reliable? Are they a person of virtue and trying be a better person?   Ask the right questions What brought you here? Wat sparks your curiosity? Who are the people you like to hang out with? What are your hobbies? What do you spend most of your time thinking about? What is something you believe that most people will disagree with? What does a life well-lived look like to you?

Doug goes to the mailbag. A listener had serious reservations about getting married and is now miserable. What should she do?   Listener questions and comments: Maria Teresa - We enjoy your professional way of speaking so we decided to get your course. My husband was super open to it and I think it was the Holy Spirit. (14:12) Mary - We got married almost 6 years ago and I thought we were under the understanding that it was forever but he just said he's done and he never wanted to marry me. I had no idea. I am going to counseling and he is not talking to me. (36:01)   Resources: Marriage Unhindered https://www.marriageunhindered.com/   Happy Marriage for Life https://www.happymarriageforlife.com/

Adam Lane Smith joins Doug to discuss the importance of forging strong attachment bonds with your spouse.   Listener questions and comments: Bob - What should a man do when his wife says 'he's a good husband and a good dad, but she has no interest in showing physical affection?' (27:08) Michael - I had abnormal attachment to a narcissistic parent and picked a partner like that. How do I fix this? (37:57) Angel - My fiancé asked me if I've had feelings for a fellow film producer, and I told him it was 14 years ago, and it was well before I met him. He went crazy and locked me out of social media. What am I supposed to do? (41:20) Stacy - Maybe communication is the problem in these relationships. (45:40)   Resources: Adam Lane Smith  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=podcast&utm_content=Unhindered&funnel_source=private-coaching  Emotionally Focused Therapy https://iceeft.com/

Doug finishes his discussion on how to repair the damage after a fight. He also shares what to do when your family treats your spouse badly. Plus: The Friday Rant!   Listener questions and comment: Ron - My wife tries to take charge of everything, but I believe I am called to lead our home. This has been an ongoing struggle throughout our more than 40 years of marriage. She prefers to have the final say in most situations, and I feel I have not been allowed to fulfill what I believe is my God-given role as the leader of our household. (12:35) Luciano - A friend is refusing to attend our wedding and declined our invitation because we were in a relationship before our annulment. Am I in the right? (23:18)   Resources:   Love Basics for Catholics https://stpaulcenter.com/store/love-basics-for-catholics-illustrating-gods-love-for-us-throughout-the-bible     5 steps to repair the damage after a big fight Discuss your feelings Talk about your realities Share your triggers Accept your responsibility Come up with constructive plans

 Doug shares 5 steps to repair the damage after a big fight or regrettable incident.   Listener questions and comments: Monica - My father doesn’t get enough credit for what he does. What should I do and what is my place in that? (20:50) Teresa - My daughter is going through stuff with her husband and he suggested that maybe he should just kill himself rather than fix things. He has been yelling at her and losing his temper. They have a baby, a dog and a house and are very stressed. (37:18) Elly - My husband and I had an argument and after we came back together, he told me to 'go to hell' and it’s been very hard and it hurts me still. (46:12)   Resources: The 4 Horsemen Criticism Contempt Stonewalling Defensiveness 5 steps to repair the damage after a big fight Discuss your feelings Talk about your realities Share your triggers Accept your responsibility Come up with constructive solutions

Dr. Julia Dezelski joins Doug to discuss USCCB resources available for married and dating couples.    Listener questions and comments: Chris - When I got married there was very little marriage preparation. This needs to be a bigger emphasis. (23:00) Walt - It seems like in modern culture it seems like children are an add on and not the focus. Is this being addressed? (31:38) Margy - There is very little available for people getting remarried in the Church and for those who have annulments. (39:16)   Resources: Catechumenal pathways for married life – Free PDF https://www.laityfamilylife.va/content/dam/laityfamilylife/amoris-laetitia/OrientamentiCatecumenatomatrimoniale/Catechumenal%20Pathways_ENG.pdf   Catechumenal pathways for married life - Book https://www.orderosv.com/product/catechumenal-pathways-for-married-life?ga_ref_list_id=75ga_ref_list_name=Related%20Products   Happy Marriage for Life https://www.happymarriageforlife.com/   For Your Marriage https://www.foryourmarriage.org/   https://www.portumatrimonio.org/   Second marriages https://www.foryourmarriage.org/second-marriages/

How should you handle an out-of-town family reunion when one of your grandchildren wants to share a room with their live-in boyfriend? Why can’t my wife see that I have changed for the better? Doug goes to the mailbag answering these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: Rosie - I am in a second sacramental marriage and in the eyes of God and the Church, but not the state. Is this uncommon? We don’t live together and he comes to stay with me for a few days a week. (10:17) Ray - How do you respond when a third party intrudes in your marriage? (19:40) Michelle - I was dating someone that was going to Church with me and we broke up and got back together. I kept seeing him with other women. Now he's baptized. What should I do? (38:05)

Dr. John Bergsma joins Doug to discuss his book, Love Basics for Catholics.   Listener questions and comments: Sharon - I have two children who are good Catholics but are unmarried. They don’t have good places and ways to meet. (21:52) Bob - My daughter runs speed dating in Arizona. There has been some success with it. (41:22) Ralph - I think these kids should be looking for Christian spouses outside the Church. (44:25)   Resources: Love Basics for Catholics https://stpaulcenter.com/store/love-basics-for-catholics-illustrating-gods-love-for-us-throughout-the-bible   Dr. John Bergsma https://www.johnbergsma.com/#welcome   St. Paul Center https://stpaulcenter.com/events   Altum Young Adults https://altumyoungadults.org/

Are you in a difficult marriage? Are the people around you encouraging you to get a divorce? Today, Leila Miller joins Doug to discuss fidelity to your marriage vows even when it’s difficult.   Listener questions and comments: Joe - I have a friend who is considering an annulment. What should I say to him? (18:42) Vinnie - America is a throw-away culture, so it encourages this problem. (28:40) Annie - Fr. John Hardon and marriage (30:35) Marci - I was married, got a divorce, then we remarried, and I wonder which marriage is valid. (38:23) Rita - The basis of psychological reasons is overused, but I think it’s still a valid argument. Sometimes it really prevents you from fulfilling your vows. (43:42 )   Resources:   Leila Miller https://www.leilamiller.net/   Impossible Marriages Redeemed https://www.amazon.com/dp/0997989327/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_U_Co5EEb40NF6EJ?fbclid=IwAR28wrf8nNEkRoZwVENtRanjxAEuY7Xah8PuqKvUweuM7aNWcTwddgVg-CM   Divorce, annul, move on? Let's return to the mind of the Church https://www.leilamiller.net/blog/2020/3/24/impossible-marriages-redeemed-the-introduction   God’s Plan for your Marriage https://godsplanforyourmarriagebook.com/   Marriage Problems by Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_5qNVfeYA    

Rachael Killackey of Magdala Ministries joins Doug to discuss the often-overlooked issue of pornography addiction among women. Together, they explore why women struggle with pornography, the underlying factors that can contribute to addiction, and the hope available for healing. They also discuss the role of forgiveness in the recovery process and offer practical guidance for husbands who want to support their wives with compassion and encouragement as they work toward freedom.   Listener questions and comments: Veronica - I first viewed pornography when I was 7 because I found my dad’s magazines. MTV made it worse. It really hurt my marriage when my husband and I watched it together. (19:45) Mary - I am a recovering porn addict, and it is difficult because it is everywhere. I had to delete all my social media accounts. (24:29) Keri - My daughter is online making money from porn. She wants to stop, but she likes the money. She cannot love a man, and it is affecting the entire family. How can I help her? (29:15) Margaret – I’m almost 70 years old. My dad worked in the porn industry, and all of us children were affected by this. None of us had a healthy marriage. It’s difficult to fight for virtue, but it’s so worth it to help your own children. (46:00)   Resources:     Magdala Ministries https://www.magdalaministries.org/   Men and Pornography Addiction https://relevantradio.com/2026/04/men-and-pornography-addiction/

Should you change your name after a divorce? What do you do when your wife has a chronic, incurable illness, and most of the responsibilities at home fall on you and your children? How do you cope when your wife feels guilty and worries about the burden placed on you? Do struggles with pornography make it difficult to give full consent to marriage? Doug goes to the mailbag, answering these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments:  Pete - My friend is so hurt from the separation that he is withdrawing from everything in his life. What do we do? (9:34) Ronda - Regarding a name change after a divorce, you should do what makes you feel more comfortable. (13:44) Rose - I kept my name after the divorce because I wanted to have the same name as my kids. (17:02) Jeff - My wife had an ex-husband and had kids with me, and now they have the old husband’s name. It’s a mess. (20:58) Mary - I kept mine because I am a stander and we are still married in the eyes of God. (23:36) Sarina - My mom changed her name, and that’s how I met my husband. (36:19) Mary - It’s important to realize that marriage is sacrificial and it doesn’t always lead to happiness (38:03) Angelica - I was married for 16 years, and I took my name back because my in-laws didn’t like me. I didn’t think it was fair, and I explained it to my son. (40:02)   Resources:   https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2026/05/13/2026-09479/excepted-fertility-benefits?mc_cid=583286c936#open-comment   It’s Your Turn Now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgp4IiOXDk   Reclaimed: Win the War of Freedom, Self-Mastery, and Holy Purity https://scepterpublishers.org/products/reclaimed-win-the-war-of-freedom-self-mastery-and-holy-purity?srsltid=AfmBOorMA4RbYh_WzayDVdBX3vpx7hGA7-OpnEEYKLuUlxpeZ4EPp1lp&variant=46653355524273  

Fr. Carter Griffin joins Doug to discuss his book Forming Families, Forming Saints. Together, they explore how human and spiritual formation help cultivate virtue and shape families into communities of faith, fostering the growth of future saints.   Listener questions and comments: Len - I just bought the book! Lots of wisdom. I will order 8 more! (37:39)   Resources: Forming Families, Forming Saints https://stpaulcenter.com/store/forming-families-forming-saints

Should your daughter be allowed to wear a bikini? Is it possible to be too busy to work on your marriage? Doug answers these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: Renee - I grew up in a strict dressing household, especially swimwear. It's a parent's responsibility to teach modesty in girls. (14:30)   Resources: Men, Women and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II's Love and Responsibility https://www.amazon.com/Men-Women-Mystery-Love-Responsibility/dp/0867168404   Dressing with Dignity https://tanbooks.com/products/books/dressing-with-dignity/?srsltid=AfmBOoocXLgN919qBGeP-WJ3T95Zc36pwitsKTWiVOuJ_tMFFfvRwPuI   Love is a Radiant Light: The Life & Words of Saint Charbel https://www.amazon.com/Love-Radiant-Light-Words-Charbel/dp/1621384322

Doug explores two very different perspectives on marital intimacy. On one side is a young woman who is terrified of consummating her marriage. On the other is a couple who is cohabitating because they fear divorce.   Listener questions and comments: Connie - I have been married for 30 years and debate whether divorce is an option. We have three adult kids and my husband is an alcoholic. (10:09) Anne - Commenting on the 30-year marriage. My marriage is similar because my husband was an alcoholic. It's been prayer and trusting God that has helped. I prayed for many years. (23:13) Marina - My 24-year-old son is experiencing anxiety. He's very fragile right now. How can I help him? (26:49) Jessica - Does the Church intend to marry people who want a Josephite marriage? (38:24)   Resources: Happy Marriage for Life https://www.happymarriageforlife.com/

Doug unpacks the challenges of getting married after the death of your spouse and what to do when it feels like everything is going wrong.   Listener questions and comments: Karen - My spouse has drug and alcohol problems and is not able to get help for himself. I'm exhausted from this. (5:30)   Resources:   Searching for and Maintaining Peace https://bit.ly/4wkqb7F   Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence https://bit.ly/3R7CdC3

Doug shares practical guidance on how individuals and couples can begin the difficult process of recovering from an affair, rebuilding trust, navigating the emotional challenges, and working toward healing and restoring their relationship. Doug also shares ten classic novels boys should read and unpacks dating advice for men.   Listener questions and comments: Daniel - How do you go about dating a woman in a Catholic way? (30:53) Mary - Comment for Daniel: Treat a woman as a friend. Sometimes it’s hard to not go into everything as a potential date. (37:14) Charlie - Sherlock Holmes, LOTR and Hardy Boys are great books. (38:13) Joseph - You do such a great job with the callers. Keep up the good work! (40:40) Andrew - I decided to stop looking for a girlfriend in college because of my studies but then a week later I met my wife. Don’t give up! (43:22)   Resources: Searching for and Maintaining Peace https://bit.ly/4wkqb7F   Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence https://bit.ly/3R7CdC3

Are you married to someone with an explosive temper? If so, how do you deal with it? Today, Doug unpacks what it’s like to live with someone diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder.   Listener questions and comments: Joe - My wife has a bad temper. Do you have any helpful suggestions? (20:44) Tilly - I have a 53-year-old nephew who lives at home and he has anger management issues. (48:15)

Doug shares 6 things that happily married men do well. He also gives dating advice and unpacks the four types of love.   Listener questions and comments: Steve - My wife doesn’t feel an emotional connection. What should I do? (30:50) Mary - Start by complimenting your spouse and kiss each other for 10 seconds and dance in front of your family. (47:00)   Resources:   6 things happily married men do well You listen to her You express appreciation often You prioritize quality time with her He champions her dreams and supports her growth He takes responsibility and repairs the damage early He embraces evolution and adapts together   Ways to show you are listening Repeat the heart of what she says Ask questions with genuine curiosity You do not immediately defend yourself Your body language says you are present You respond to the emotion, not just the facts You remember what matters later

Doug explores modern relationships from every angle—from the dangers of creating an AI soulmate to offering practical dating advice for those seeking a real human connection. PLUS: The Friday rant.   Listener questions and comments: Tracey - Monica said that people with personality disorders have trouble with relationships. Could you expand on that a little? It speaks to our daughter and we want to know how to approach her. (23:35) Victor - We deal with AI cases in law enforcement and lots of it leads to self-harm and even suicide. (35:51) Danielle - I have a relative who has taken a half million dollars from her husband and hid it from the IRS. He is saying he didn’t know anything about it. They want help. What should I do? (42:03)

Monica Hinderer joins Doug to continue their discussion on how parents unknowingly harm their relationship with their adult children.   Listener questions and comments: Carolyn - What do you do when your child is in a same sex relationship and looking at marriage? (18:43) William - I have a daughter getting involved with a man who thinks he is a woman. She has threatened to cut us off. (27:41) Julie - I prefer to have birthday parties one on one with my daughters and so I like to leave their spouse behind sometimes. (39:28)

Steven Hemler joins Doug to discuss his book - The Busy Parent's Guide to the Catholic Faith: Short Answers to the Big Questions. They unpack the scientific proof for God, stages of faith, and bringing adult children back to the faith.   Listener questions and comments: Ed - I have been reading Fr. Spitzer’s book 'Faith, Science, and Reason' and it is really great on this topic. (29:06) Mary - My son is not receptive to the faith and he is an engineer. He says he is an atheist. What can I do to bring him back? (39:24)   Resources:   The Busy Parent's Guide to the Catholic Faith: Short Answers to the Big Questions https://bit.ly/4wON1UM   The Reality of God: The Layman's Guide to Scientific Evidence for a Creator https://bit.ly/4bF5lr1

Doug discusses forgiveness after the discovery of a secret pornography addiction. He also shares the journey of rebuilding a marriage that was nearly destroyed by years of alcoholism.   Listener questions and comments: Carol - I have two friends who are married 30 years and the man called me crying because his wife had an affair for 3 months. She wants to go on a Retrouvaille weekend but he thinks it’s too soon. (37:07) Angela - Our daughter is gay, estranged and had a second IVF baby. We haven’t been able to meet him. What should we do? (44:06) Pete - I have seen couples go right to Retrouvaille and it is life changing. (47:08) Constantine - We were married outside of the Church and I treated my wife badly. She divorced me but when we reconnected a couple years later, we discussed reconciliation. (48:53)   Resources:   Marriage Unhindered https://www.marriageunhindered.com/   The Forgiveness Institute https://internationalforgiveness.com/   Catholic Therapists https://catholictherapists.com/   Catholic Psychotherapy https://catholicpsychotherapy.org/   Emotionally Focused Therapy https://iceeft.com/   Dr. John Gottman https://www.gottman.com/   Retrouvaille https://helpourmarriage.org/  

Doug explores lessons on marriage from the saints. Yesterday, the Church celebrated the feast of Saints Louis and Zélie Martin. Today, we commemorate the feast of Saint Henry II and his wife, Saint Cunigunde. Doug also examines what can be learned from Blessed Charles of Austria and his witness to married life.   Listener questions and comments: Amy - You can surprise your spouse with a Mass said in their name. You can leave little notes. (30:25)   Resources: 5 things we can learn from Blessed Charles of Austria and his wife Zita The primary goal of marriage is to get your spouse to heaven. Entrust your marriage to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. After the wedding day it’s not only ‘me’ but ‘we’. They continually fan the flame of love. Love each other with a love that endures through hardship.   8 Ways to say I love you without saying the words ‘I love you’ I admire how you handle tough situations. Your perspective always gives me a new way of looking at things. You have such a calming presence. I really trust your judgement on this. You are so easy to talk to. I love the way you’re so passionate about your interests You have a knack for making people feel included. I’m grateful for your honesty even when it’s hard.

Doug answers listener questions about contraception, intimacy, and openness to life in today's mailbag. He also tackles questions about past trauma and prudence in family planning and closes the show with the Friday Rant on no-fault divorce. Listener questions and comments: Marie – My husband and I discovered a beautiful way to have date nights while traveling in Italy. May I share our experience? (29:20) Charlie – Is it a mortal sin for an elderly couple with health issues to have marital relations if they are no longer able to conceive? (39:30)

What happens when a seemingly perfect marriage ends in divorce? Doug shares a case study from Impossible Marriages Redeemed by Leila Miller, discussing the impact of selfishness on a marriage and how daily prayer can save your marriage. He also continues his commentary on the 5:1 ratio you need to practice to keep love alive. [ENCORE]   Impossible Marriages Redeemed https://www.leilamiller.net/impossiblemarriagesredeemedpdf

Doug discusses the writings of Arthur Brooks as he talks about death, emotional distress and attractiveness.   3:43-On Death  and How it Relates to Happiness 12:47- On Emotional Distress 24:15 Leah-What are your thoughts are for having a dating relationships with someone who has an eating disorder that is undiagnosed and untreated? 36:43 Deedee-Regarding Arthur Brooks. I remember seeing him on Oprah. I remember he said happiness is not a destination but a direction. Can you expound on that? Is this true? 40:49- On  what women and men find attractive in each other.   https://www.arthurbrooks.com/ https://www.arthurbrooks.com/blog-posts/why-contemplating-your-death-might-make-you-happier  

Doug answers numerous questions from emailers ranging from non practicing son coming home with his family; how to live with an alcoholic spouse and fatherly relationship compared to God the father relationship 3:45-How to handle a son who got married outside the Church and wants to bring his family home for a visit 12:14-How to live with an alcoholic spouse  24:44 Susan-I have a friend who was married in city hall. She and her spouse are Catholic. Do they have the same obligation to stay in that marriage as Catholics who marry in the Church? 28:20 Catherine -Our son was married outside the church and we didn't attend his wedding. He left the faith. Was it wrong for us not to go? 39:07-How does one's relationship with her earthly father affect how she views God the father.   44:41- Kate-Our son married outside the Church 17 years ago. We did attend the wedding and embraced her. 6 years into the marriage she converted and became devout. 47:23-Should we break the family up if our child is not practicing the faith and wants to get married outside the Church?

Adam Lane Smith joins Doug as they talk about exploring how to form secure attachment bonds with your spouse, children and friends.  Ben--My biggest challenge is coming to my wife and she turns things on me. I don't want things to blow up but they always do.  How do I prevent that?  (26:09) Gene-My wife ignores me and I'm avoidant because it always leads to an argument. (30:06) Mary-My husband has become very distant in the last couple years. Last night he said we don't want to married anymore. (38:51)

What do you do when your future father-in-law is getting in between you and your fiancé? Should you talk to your daughter about concerns you have with her 11-year-old? Should you be concerned that your daughter is dating a single dad? Doug goes to the mail bag.   Listener questions and comments: Brenda - I am a single mother and I think that it takes a lot of discernment. It’s hard because my son’s feelings matter as well if he gets attached to a guy and I break up. (19:56)   Resources: Prior Propper Planning is Critical https://relevantradio.com/2026/07/prior-propper-planning-is-critical/

Doug shares tips for surviving the 4th of July picnic with family while avoiding arguments.   Listener questions and comments: Doug - At the family functions there is an emphasis on the drinking during the 4th. I can’t drink because my dad is an alcoholic so I want to know what I should do. (29:27) Jane - My son in law's father died from alcohol and I find that he drinks too much. What should I do? Should I say something? (38:42) Julie - For the 4th I always use leading questions like you do in the beginning of your show that are not threatening at the dinner table. (44:23) Judy - My husband was an alcoholic and I want to say having beer and wine around isn’t the solution if the problem is hard stuff. But prayer is the best thing to do. (46:16)   Resources: Reasons we argue at family gatherings Family knows where the hot buttons are We tend to regress when we are around family Holidays are loaded with expectations The weather adds fuel to the fire   8 tips to avoid unnecessary arguments Decide before you arrive, what person you want to be Know your triggers – What topics usually get you hooked? Stop trying to change people at the picnic table Use some short boundary statements Lower the temperature instead of raising it Change the topic Change the setting Come up with a code word for you and your spouse to use

Are you a victim of a no-fault divorce? Today, Mary Bowan joins Doug to discuss her efforts to overturn the no-fault divorce law in Texas.   Listener questions and comments: Patrick - I went through a no-fault divorce and my wife threatened to say 'cruel and unusual punishment' which just means she is mean to me. (23:46) Karen - This happened to me and they called it irreconcilable differences. It feels like your spouse and court are against you. It’s been 22 years and you feel like you made a mistake. (36:07) Steve - I want to support and let’s get this done in Texas! (38:00) Stan - I went through one and I want to tell you that this should be a class lawsuit. I don’t know how you can do this on your own. (39:06) Frank - What hope do you have for people who are happily married what signs should we look for to prevent this? (41:00) Tony - My wife alienated my daughter from me and would turn my kids against me and now my kids are getting divorced. I am a stander as well. (45:33)   Resources: https://www.texasnofault.com/

Should you change your name after a divorce? What do you do when your wife has a chronic, incurable illness, and most of the responsibilities at home fall on you and your children? How do you cope when your wife feels guilty and worries about the burden placed on you? Do struggles with pornography make it difficult to give full consent to marriage? Doug goes to the mailbag answering these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: Pete - My friend is so hurt from his separation that he is withdrawing from everything in his life. What do we do? (9:34) Ronda - Regarding a name change after divorced, you should do what makes you feel more comfortable. (13:44) Rose - I kept my name after the divorce because I wanted to have the same name as my kids. (17:02) Jeff - My wife had an ex-husband and had kids with me and now they have the old husband’s name. It’s a mess. (22:46) Mary - I kept mine because I am a stander and we are still married in the eyes of God. (25:24) Sarina - My mom changed her name and that’s how I met my husband. (38:05) Mary - It’s important to realize that marriage is sacrificial and it doesn’t always lead to happiness (39:48) Angelica - I was married for 16 years and I took my name back because my in laws didn’t like me. I didn’t think it was fair and I explained it to my son. (41:49)   Resources:   https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2026/05/13/2026-09479/excepted-fertility-benefits?mc_cid=583286c936#open-comment   It’s Your Turn Now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgp4IiOXDk   Reclaimed: Win the War of Freedom, Self-Mastery, and Holy Purity https://scepterpublishers.org/products/reclaimed-win-the-war-of-freedom-self-mastery-and-holy-purity?srsltid=AfmBOorMA4RbYh_WzayDVdBX3vpx7hGA7-OpnEEYKLuUlxpeZ4EPp1lp&variant=46653355524273

Relationship coach Rose Sweet joins Doug to discuss the foundations of good marriages.   Listener questions and comments: Denise - My boyfriend’s best friend is a concern to me. He wants me to meet her and her husband. I feel weird about it. (9:38) Shirley - My daughter is 'Christian' but has a second marriage. The kid from the first marriage still lives at home at 34. Is my daughter putting her kids before her husband? (19:07) LeeAnn - I was in a friendship with a guy but then he got married and I took the hint and distanced myself from him. (25:55)   Resources: Rules for relationships Listen Lead Love Let go   Rose Sweet https://rosesweet.com/

You be the therapist as Doug shares the stories of two couples—one celebrating 30 years of marriage and the other just beginning their journey as newlyweds.   Listener questions and comments: Joe - My wife has decided to leave the Church and had a sterilization without my consent. What do I do? (5:02) Mary - Comment for Joe: His wife did what she did because she felt like she had no control over her pain. She needs to feel like she is in control. (16:57) Joe - Is it a bad idea to elope? I want it to be valid but I want my parents not to know. (20:58) Mary - Comment: if I had ever met a man like Doug, I would be happily married but I should have never got married. My husband is dead but he was a pain in the butt. (34:34) David - For the 30-year marriage one of them or both have given up hope on communicating with each other. There needs to be a safe place to go where they can share the pain and get through it. (39:57) Jennifer - For the younger couple they need to sit down and have a clear goal about what they are doing to get out of the house and maybe doing more things that get them out of the house. (43:39)   Resources:   Catholic Therapists https://catholictherapists.com/   Catholic Psychotherapy https://catholicpsychotherapy.org/   Emotionally Focused Therapy https://iceeft.com/

Does self-love harm a marriage? Do you struggle with the idea or think that marriage is all about selfless service? Today, Doug looks at self-love in marriage through the lens of Luke 10:27 and Matthew 5:44.   Listener questions and comments: Anne - I agree with you and I would add that respect for yourself is respecting God because he made us out of love. (9:13) Deedee - What does it mean to be made in the image and likeness of God? (37:42) Ron - I have some examples of how I help myself when my wife starts to become my enemy. I also loved that litany. (39:56)   Resources: Litany of Self-Love https://www.thefaceofmercy.org/blog/litany-of-self-love   Showing unconditional love Smile when you don’t feel like it Say a kind word Give a compliment every day Refrain from criticism or harsh words Serve your spouse without announcing it Apologize quickly Forgive immediately Pray for your spouse every day   5 elements to a good apology Regret Rational Responsibility Repentance Repair

Catherine DiNuzzo joins Doug to discuss anxiety from a Catholic perspective. They define good vs bad anxiety, the problem of guilt and how to manage anxiety as a Catholic.   Listener questions and comments: Jasmine - How do I fight my mind that triggers anxiety even if I’m doing okay? (10:19) Rose - I get anxiety around my kids but I don’t want to share with my kids. What do I say? (35:21) Judy - I have had anxiety when other people are driving. What should I do? (39:59)   Resources: Sacred Heart Mental Wellness https://www.sacredheartmentalwellness.com/

Did you have doubts before you got married? Did you worry that divorce was a possibility? Today, Doug shares another case study of an impossible marriage that was redeemed.   Listener question and comments: Jenny - I am struggling in my marriage with my husband’s anger issues and his unwillingness to work. (13:05) Joe - Comment: I want to say that we as men need to get it together and provide! (23:18)   Resources: Impossible Marriages Redeemed https://www.amazon.com/Impossible-Marriages-Redeemed-Didnt-Middle/dp/0997989327

In honor of Father’s Day, Doug pays tribute to the women who made us fathers.   Listener questions and comments: Christine - I had the most optimistic father of all time. He used to say 'when you come from nothing, you appreciate everything'. (23:28) Constantine - My mother was not supposed to make it in childbirth and neither was I but I lived and she did too. I was able to tell my dad I loved him on the day of his death. (28:06) Caesar - I grew up in a Catholic family and my dad was sure we were brought up as good Catholic men. (4:34)   Resources:   Pope Leo’s advice to fathers “Don’t be afraid of this adventure” “It takes courage to choose life” “Your kids are not yours to keep. You are raising saints for the kingdom”

Mark Swartzberg joins Doug to discuss his conversion to the Catholic Church, family life, and his journey to Relevant Radio.   Listener questions and comments: Brian - What are the specifics on the validity of the marriage and sacramentality of marrying a non-Catholic? (40:32)

Fr. Peter Armenio joins Doug to discuss marriage and spousal love from his book Highlights of the Catholic Faith.   Listener questions and comments: Josephina - I went to confession and I was able to apologize to my husband. It opened up the world of forgiveness. (19:55) Deedee - I have been married twice and both men are deceased. What is the Catholic position on getting married a third time? (37:24) Walter - The world we live in is so materialistic and disposable. It’s also happened in marriages. People use their spouse and then throw them away. (38:51) Angel - I was on a few weeks ago talking about my fiancé who is a general oversees and he has issues that are getting worse. What do I do? (44:30)   Resources: Highlights of the Catholic Faith https://scepterpublishers.org/products/highlights-of-the-catholic-faith?srsltid=AfmBOop9iajSrMyZXnB-F1IOgNAr4ds-bYR_aYazTW52vhQd5KlqrQkp

What do dads really need on Father’s Day? Doug offers seven powerful reminders of how love, respect, and gratitude can make a father feel seen and valued.   Resources: The Bible and Marriage: The Two Shall Become One Flesh (A Catholic Biblical Theology of the Sacraments) https://stpaulcenter.com/store/the-bible-and-marriage-the-two-shall-become-one-flesh-a-catholic-biblical-theology-of-the-sacraments   Marriage Tune-Up: https://www.marriageunhindered.com/   What dads really need on Father’s Day I love watching you be a father. I love the way you show up even when it’s hard. You make this family better in ways you don’t even realize. I trust your judgement as a father. You teach our kids things I never could. I’m proud of the man you’ve become. I still choose you every day.

Doug discusses how married people are living their best lives and how married women are increasingly the happiest women.   Listener questions and comments: Denise - My boyfriend has stopped talking to other women but he has a friend who is a woman. She is married but he doesn't want to hurt the friendship. It bothers me. (10:34) Dana - It seems like Catholicism encourages marriage when Paul advises against it. Why? (21:00) Rita - I am in a relationship with a man after being widowed. I want to get married but he won’t move forward with it. Should we go to therapy? (25:49) Adela - I have seen two instances where the men have left their fiancés for their best friends. (30:24) Ann - I know a man who adopted some children and now has a problem with them and doesn’t want to live with them. (35:35) Regina - the context of Paul’s writing is that Paul believed that the second coming would be within the year or two so it wasn’t worth having kids because we have so little time. (42:27) Danielle - I am married and we are both Catholic and I am still learning about the faith and he has abused me so I am asking about a divorce. He wants to go to therapy. What do I do? (44:17)

Doug unpacks the 5 attachment needs every married person has. PLUS: The Friday rant!   Listener questions and comments: Liza - My daughter is 28, lives at home and will never help me with any chores. Her father won’t make her help and she ignores me. (37:36)   Resources:   5 attachment needs in marriage To be seen, known, heard and understood To feel safe and secure To be comforted, soothed and reassured To be cherished, rejoiced and delighted To believe that my spouse wills my good