Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.
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In this episode of Lovers, Melyssa Ford joins me for a conversation about desirability, partnership, and what it means to build a full life without centering it around finding “the one.”

Melyssa has been publicly desired for decades. She’s dated wealthy men, high-profile men, and men who could provide an extraordinary lifestyle. And yet, she’s never been married and doesn’t have children. In this conversation, she reflects on what that actually means, not from a place of regret, but from a place of honesty. What happens when you are wanted by many but not chosen in the way you hoped? What if partnership never materializes the way you imagined it would?

We also discuss something I call Bething, the tension between becoming the person you are meant to be and chasing the life you thought you were supposed to have. Bething is about allowing yourself to exist fully in the present version of your life, even if it doesn’t match the cultural script you were handed. It’s the practice of building something meaningful instead of waiting for someone to complete it.

This episode is not about giving up on love. It’s about living well whether love arrives in the way you expected or not. It’s about separating desirability from devotion, lifestyle from longevity, and fantasy from fulfillment.

If you’ve ever quietly wondered what happens if you never meet your person, this conversation is for you.



Follow Melyssa Ford

→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melyssaford
→ Watch Hot & Bothered with Melyssa Ford (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgI18pIo71rZWq6upn_QxMg
Listen to Hot & Bothered Podcast: available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & all major platforms
→ Get her book Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself: 13 Lessons for a Life Well Lived: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58631608-allow-me-to-reintroduce-myself?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=n6x35X4UoC&rank=1

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

If you haven’t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now’s the perfect time → lemonadapremium.com 

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to <a href="http://tonal.com">http://tonal.com</a> then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount. &mdash; In this episode of Lovers, Melyssa Ford joins me for a conversation about desirability, partnership, and what it means to build a full life without centering it around finding &ldquo;the one.&rdquo;
Melyssa has been publicly desired for decades. She&rsquo;s dated wealthy men, high-profile men, and men who could provide an extraordinary lifestyle. And yet, she&rsquo;s never been married and doesn&rsquo;t have children. In this conversation, she reflects on what that actually means, not from a place of regret, but from a place of honesty. What happens when you are wanted by many but not chosen in the way you hoped? What if partnership never materializes the way you imagined it would?
We also discuss something I call Bething, the tension between becoming the person you are meant to be and chasing the life you thought you were supposed to have. Bething is about allowing yourself to exist fully in the present version of your life, even if it doesn&rsquo;t match the cultural script you were handed. It&rsquo;s the practice of building something meaningful instead of waiting for someone to complete it.
This episode is not about giving up on love. It&rsquo;s about living well whether love arrives in the way you expected or not. It&rsquo;s about separating desirability from devotion, lifestyle from longevity, and fantasy from fulfillment.
If you&rsquo;ve ever quietly wondered what happens if you never meet your person, this conversation is for you. 
Follow Melyssa Ford
&rarr; Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/melyssaford">https://www.instagram.com/melyssaford </a>&rarr; Watch Hot &amp; Bothered with Melyssa Ford (YouTube): <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgI18pIo71rZWq6upn_QxMg">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgI18pIo71rZWq6upn_QxMg </a>Listen to Hot &amp; Bothered Podcast: available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts &amp; all major platforms &rarr; Get her book Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself: 13 Lessons for a Life Well Lived: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58631608-allow-me-to-reintroduce-myself?from_search=true&amp;from_srp=true&amp;qid=n6x35X4UoC&amp;rank=1">https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58631608-allow-me-to-reintroduce-myself?from_search=true&amp;from_srp=true&amp;qid=n6x35X4UoC&amp;rank=1 </a>Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter </a>Join the Lovers Community &rarr; <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets &rarr; <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a>&nbsp;
If you haven&rsquo;t subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now&rsquo;s the perfect time &rarr; <a href="http://lemonadapremium.com/">lemonadapremium.com</a>&nbsp;

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.

Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.

When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/  

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram&rsquo;s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away. When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;