We often talk about how men have an easier life, but I think at this point we can also agree that maintaining the identity of “a real man” is extremely hard. Masculinity is what I would call a wet fish identity - because like catching a fish with your bear hands - It’s hard to do, even harder to hold onto and incredibly easy to lose a grip on. And one of the fastest ways to call your capability of holding onto a wet fish into question, is to add more slick to the situation by crying.

It’s one thing for a man to reveal his hurt, pain and insecurities - which you might recall we already discussed in episod 4 of Lovers and Friends, do we really want vulnerable men starring Aba n Preach.

So what comes up for us when we see a man cry? And how do we deconstruct those feelings without tearing down the man or his masculinity in the process? These are all questions I wanted to pontificate with, with the man himself, Dominic Gabriel- a personality and mental health advocate best known from his appearances on Netflix's Perfect Match and The Mole. You may also recognize him from his viral Tik Toks OR from his brand new podcast Dom Meets World. 

Conversation starter pack from this episode:

What is masculinity? Is it something you have? Or something you have to earn and maintain?
Is it a turnoff to see a man cry?
Is it a turnon?
Aren’t both of those responses equally as strange? What’s the healthier alternative?
Is crying a useful expression regardless of gender? Should we all attempt to control it because it can be likened to losing your temper?
How do we create an environment where people tasked with proving their masculinity, don’t feel like they have to keep up the audition in front of us?

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!

Storyworth 

https://www.storyworth.com/lovers to save $10 on your first purchase!

Blissy

https://www.blissy.com/lovers

Get better sleep now with Blissy and use LOVERS to get an additional 30% off at blissy.com/LOVERS


Better Help
https://www.betterhelp.com/LOVERS for 10%off your first order 


Hello Fresh 

https://www.hellofresh.com/lovers16

Use code Lovers16 for 16 free meals 

Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

Follow Dom: 
https://www.instagram.com/dontcalldom
Follow the guys of ENJOY: 
https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady
https://www.instagram.com/mrjustdavis
https://www.instagram.com/datboykray
https://www.instagra.com/blamelos

<div>We often talk about how men have an easier life, but I think at this point we can also agree that maintaining the identity of “a real man” is extremely hard. Masculinity is what I would call a wet fish identity - because like catching a fish with your bear hands - It’s hard to do, even harder to hold onto and incredibly easy to lose a grip on. And one of the fastest ways to call your capability of holding onto a wet fish into question, is to add more slick to the situation by crying. It’s one thing for a man to reveal his hurt, pain and insecurities - which you might recall we already discussed in episod 4 of Lovers and Friends, do we really want vulnerable men starring Aba n Preach. So what comes up for us when we see a man cry? And how do we deconstruct those feelings without tearing down the man or his masculinity in the process? These are all questions I wanted to pontificate with, with the man himself, Dominic Gabriel- a personality and mental health advocate best known from his appearances on Netflix's Perfect Match and The Mole. You may also recognize him from his viral Tik Toks OR from his brand new podcast Dom Meets World.  Conversation starter pack from this episode: What is masculinity? Is it something you have? Or something you have to earn and maintain? Is it a turnoff to see a man cry? Is it a turnon? Aren’t both of those responses equally as strange? What’s the healthier alternative? Is crying a useful expression regardless of gender? Should we all attempt to control it because it can be likened to losing your temper? How do we create an environment where people tasked with proving their masculinity, don’t feel like they have to keep up the audition in front of us? Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! Storyworth  <a href="http://www.storyworth.com/lovers">https://www.storyworth.com/lovers</a> to save $10 on your first purchase! Blissy  <a href="http://www.blissy.com/lovers">https://www.blissy.com/lovers</a> Get better sleep now with Blissy and use LOVERS to get an additional 30% off at <a href="http://blissy.com/LOVERS">blissy.com/LOVERS</a> Better Help  <a href="http://www.betterhelp.com/LOVERS">https://www.betterhelp.com/LOVERS</a> for 10%off your first order  Hello Fresh  <a href="https://www.hellofresh.com/lovers16">https://www.hellofresh.com/lovers16</a> Use code Lovers16 for 16 free meals  Follow Shan: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram">https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram</a> <a href="http://tiktok.com/shanboody">https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng</a> loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Dom:  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/dontcalldom/?hl=en">https://www.instagram.com/dontcalldom</a> Follow the guys of ENJOY:  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=en">https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mrjustdavis">https://www.instagram.com/mrjustdavis</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/datboykray">https://www.instagram.com/datboykray</a> <a href="https://www.instagra.com/blamelos">https://www.instagra.com/blamelos</a> </div>

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.

Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.

When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/  

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram&rsquo;s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away. When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;