Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends?

According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021,  a lot of people are not  satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have.

If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond. 

So how long does it take to make a new friend?
-50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend 
- 90 hours before becoming real friends 
- 200hours- before becoming close friends 
- source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships' 

As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments.

In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work. 

A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships. 

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. 

ZocDoc:
https://www.zocdoc.com/

Ritual
https://ritual.com/lovers for 10% off your first 3 months 

Follow the guests on this episode:

Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

Follow Krista: 
https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/
https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/
https://www.instagram.com/morningmicrodose/
https://www.instagram.com/moderntarot/

Follow Tabia:
https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/

Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson
https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/
https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/

Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT
https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/

<div>Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends? According to the <a href="https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-friendship-change-challenges-and-loss/">American Perspective Survey, May 2021</a>,  a lot of people are not  satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.  So how long does it take to make a new friend? -50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend  - 90 hours before becoming real friends  - 200hours- before becoming close friends  - source: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/heres-how-many-hours-it-takes-to-make-a-new-friend-as-an-adult-2018-4">'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships' </a> As the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?_r=0">New York Times</a> reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work.  A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.  ZocDoc:  <a href="https://www.zocdoc.com/">https://www.zocdoc.com/</a> Ritual <a href="https://ritual.com/lovers">https://ritual.com/lovers</a> for 10% off your first 3 months  Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram">https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram</a> <a href="http://tiktok.com/shanboody">https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng</a> loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Krista:  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/?hl=en"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/">https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/</a></a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/?hl=en"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/">https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/</a></a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/morningmicrodose/"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/morningmicrodose/">https://www.instagram.com/morningmicrodose/</a></a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/moderntarot/"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/moderntarot/">https://www.instagram.com/moderntarot/</a></a> Follow Tabia: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/">https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/</a></a> Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson <a href="https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/">https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/">https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/</a></a> Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en">https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en</a></a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en">https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en</a></a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/">https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/</a> </div>

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.

Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.

When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/  

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram&rsquo;s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away. When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;