What Is Your Love Story?

 Not the one that you’re in per se, but the one that subconsciously, you’ll move mountains or reality, to live inside? Psychologists have identified 26 kinds of stories that people commit to BEFORE committing to their romantic partner so, which one is yours?
Our starring guest Raven Ross who you can recall from Netlfix’s reality series, Love is Blind Season 3. She is also a pilates instructor nearly a 2 million followers on social media. Raven went through one of the messiest Tik Tok cheating scandals last year with her ex-fiancee. Now, she’s ready to love out loud again plus wants to share with you how, why, and maybe even who.. 

A love story is a frame of reference for how you believe love works or should work. Kind of like how your political beliefs describe how you think a group of people should be governed. Now, as I mentioned off the top, in my fav book, the new psychology of love, there are 26 different common stories that people can subscribe to. 
Addiction - we have an intense first connection and from then on we need each other and create a dynamic based around the fear of parting ways
Audition - you gotta win the part and keep proving you love me and if you forget the lines or go too far off script
Art - my partner looks good and they make me look good because I own something beautiful
Business - our union is designed to give us more money, power and respect from others
Cookbook - love has a recipe and instruction list, if we forget ingredients or steps our love won’t be as good
Fantasy - save me, marry me, and happily ever after me. 
Game - love is a sport with a winner and a loser or if we’re on the same team there’s still a captain and a bench player
Gardening - love is something that has to grow and it takes time, awareness of the environment, plus continuous tending to in order to flourish. For more on this, see my episode where I explain the difference between a fruit and a fruit tree
History - in our relationship you are who you were, there’s only past you and future you. Think of it like the difference between “I’ll believe it when I see it” and “let’s just see!”
Horror - relationships are scary and the scarier it is, the more real it is
Humor - love is a joke, some people get the joke early, some later, but sooner or later everyone gets humbled
Mystery - you don’t need to know everything about each other because maintaining the mystery is more important than discovering yourselves through uncovering one another
Police - you gotta place rules and boundaries on your partner because people are only as good as you’ll allow them to be
Religion - love is in service of the Lord
Sacrifice - love is just as much about what you give as what you’re willing to give up to demonstrate devotion to the other
Science - love can be studied and explained through scientific theory just like anything else
War - love is a power struggle ruled by 
The other ones are: recover, science fiction, sewing, theater, travel, war, student-teacher, and a few more.

Conversation starter pack
What story of love are you currently subscribing to?
Which ones are you aspiring to?
What narratives are you trying to stay clear of and why?
What love story was modeled for you growing up?

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!

www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS for 30% off your first delivery and your free veggies. 

http://www.carawayhome.com/lovers for 10% off


www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month 


www.zocdoc.com to download the free app

Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com


Follow Raven: 
https://www.instagram.com/pilatesbodyraven
www.pilatesbodyraven.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@pilatesbodyraven

<div>What Is Your Love Story?  Not the one that you’re in per se, but the one that subconsciously, you’ll move mountains or reality, to live inside? Psychologists have identified 26 kinds of stories that people commit to BEFORE committing to their romantic partner so, which one is yours? Our starring guest Raven Ross who you can recall from Netlfix’s reality series, Love is Blind Season 3. She is also a pilates instructor nearly a 2 million followers on social media. Raven went through one of the messiest Tik Tok cheating scandals last year with her ex-fiancee. Now, she’s ready to love out loud again plus wants to share with you how, why, and maybe even who..  A love story is a frame of reference for how you believe love works or should work. Kind of like how your political beliefs describe how you think a group of people should be governed. Now, as I mentioned off the top, in my fav book, the new psychology of love, there are 26 different common stories that people can subscribe to.  Addiction - we have an intense first connection and from then on we need each other and create a dynamic based around the fear of parting ways Audition - you gotta win the part and keep proving you love me and if you forget the lines or go too far off script Art - my partner looks good and they make me look good because I own something beautiful Business - our union is designed to give us more money, power and respect from others Cookbook - love has a recipe and instruction list, if we forget ingredients or steps our love won’t be as good Fantasy - save me, marry me, and happily ever after me.  Game - love is a sport with a winner and a loser or if we’re on the same team there’s still a captain and a bench player Gardening - love is something that has to grow and it takes time, awareness of the environment, plus continuous tending to in order to flourish. For more on this, see my episode where I explain the difference between a fruit and a fruit tree History - in our relationship you are who you were, there’s only past you and future you. Think of it like the difference between “I’ll believe it when I see it” and “let’s just see!” Horror - relationships are scary and the scarier it is, the more real it is Humor - love is a joke, some people get the joke early, some later, but sooner or later everyone gets humbled Mystery - you don’t need to know everything about each other because maintaining the mystery is more important than discovering yourselves through uncovering one another Police - you gotta place rules and boundaries on your partner because people are only as good as you’ll allow them to be Religion - love is in service of the Lord Sacrifice - love is just as much about what you give as what you’re willing to give up to demonstrate devotion to the other Science - love can be studied and explained through scientific theory just like anything else War - love is a power struggle ruled by  The other ones are: recover, science fiction, sewing, theater, travel, war, student-teacher, and a few more. Conversation starter pack What story of love are you currently subscribing to? Which ones are you aspiring to? What narratives are you trying to stay clear of and why? What love story was modeled for you growing up? Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! <a href="http://www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS"> www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS</a> for 30% off your first delivery and your free veggies.  <a href="http://www.carawayhome.com/lovers">http://www.carawayhome.com/lovers</a> for 10% off <a href="http://www.betterhelp.com/lovers"> www.betterhelp.com/lovers</a> for 10% off your first month  <a href="http://www.zocdoc.com"> www.zocdoc.com</a> to download the free app Follow Shan: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram">https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram</a> <a href="http://tiktok.com/shanboody">https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng</a> loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Raven:  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/pilatesbodyraven">https://www.instagram.com/pilatesbodyraven </a><a href="http://www.pilatesbodyraven.com">www.pilatesbodyraven.com </a><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@pilatesbodyraven">https://www.tiktok.com/@pilatesbodyraven</a> </div>

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.

Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.

When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.

Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/  

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram&rsquo;s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away. When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media <a href="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-stringify-link="https://lemonadamedia.com/" data-sk="tooltip_parent">https://lemonadamedia.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;