What does it take to succeed in life? Drive! Kelley Earnhardt Miller - yes, daughter of racing legend Dale Earnhardt - is with me today on LOVE SOMEONE to share how that DRIVE helped her to overcome a difficult childhood, and go on to become co-owner and GM of JR Motorsports, overseeing the companies race team, management team, and business ventures for her brother, Dale Earnhardt, Jr.. She is one of the most prominent business women in NASCAR today, as well as being a wife, and involved mother of three. She's taken all the knowledge, wisdom, and insight she's gained and turned it into a book, "DRIVE" 9 Lessons to Win in Business And In Life that's available now in paperback. Join us for a very real conversation about what it was like growing up Earnhardt, and how she's turned that experience into success on and off the track! ~ Delilah
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Welcome back, my friends, to another podcast episode of Love Someone, and welcome to if you're joining me for the first time. This is a place where I get to have some really fascinating conversations with some really fascinating people. I hope you're enjoying each episode as much as I am enjoying bringing them to you. Whether you're driving to work or driving home from work, or you're listening in the gym, taking a walk, doing household chores, or maybe you're just cozied up someplace, got something refreshing to drink, and you're listening into these podcasts. Thank you. I'm kind of well known for dispensing advice, playing songs for the love lorn, the love sick, the lonely. I share words of encouragement for exhausted parents, especially during COVID, the empty nesters, the new grandparents, the teenagers that are falling in love for the very first time, or driving their mom right to the brink of Craig Craig. That advice comes from my own personal experience. It's usually heart centered and meant to smooth over the rough edges, to help you focus on the good and the positive, to help you recognize your strength to help you find your faith, to find your place in this world, to help bring a note of serenity, and today's guest on love someone is also here to dispense a little advice, but she comes from a much different background than I do. Instead of playing happy love songs to accompany her wisdom, she has built are You Ready for This? A motor sports empire and is following up by giving advice on business life from the pole position she is in now. Kelly Earnhart Miller is a co owner and general manager of JR Motorsports and is considered one of the most prominent businesswomen in NASCAR today. She oversees the company's race team, management team, and business ventures for her brother and her best friend, Dale Earnhardt Jr. And yes, she is the daughter of NASCAR racing legend Dale Earnhardt. She is also the author of a book appropriately titled Drive Nine Lessons to Win in Business and in Life, and she is here with us today. Can't wait to talk to Kelly. We're gonna give this interview with Kelly the red light go signal. The flags will drop right after. I share some information about one of the sponsors that makes this podcast possible. Want in on a secret of keeping your kids busy with a fun project from Annie's Young Woodworkers Kit Club, the sponsor of this podcast. Now, what they send to your home each month is perfect for encouraging kids creativity. They're able to build something they'll be proud of. Every month, Annie sends you the supplies, the instructions, even the tools. When you sit down and help your kids put the project together, it's a fun time, a bonding time, and the pride and sense of accomplishment that comes with mastering real world building skills goes a long way. The Young Woodworkers kit Club is designed for children seven to twelve years of age. It's the perfect window of opportunity to pass on a love for woodworking. Visit young woodworkers dot com slash love for fifty off. That's young Woodworkers dot com slash love for fifty percent off with me on love Someone today is somebody Kelly. I gotta say I never would have thought of doing a podcast with you, but my sister came to me and said, oh my God, says you are going to love this woman. She is the real deal. She's the hot ticket. She's as real as a heart attack. And that You've got just a heart of gold, and I'm like, tell me more, and so welcome Kelly to love someone with the Lilah. Here I am the Queen of sappy love songs talking to the queen of the race track. That's quite a quite a mix, isn't it quite a mix? You have a new book, app and I just I want to I want to hear it all. I want to hear your story. I want our listeners to hear your story. I haven't had a chance to read the book yet. My sister did and she said, oh, yeah, she gets real, So tell me your story. Yeah. So um. My paperback for the book Drive Nine Lessons to Win in Business in Life just recently came out in the last couple of months and a Delila and you've I believe you've written several books and there was no timing like last April seventh when my hardback released at the onset of the COVID pandemic. So that was no fun. The fact that you couldn't go on a book tour, you couldn't go travel around, you couldn't do all those things that we do when we release a book. That had to have just like taken the wind out of your sales for a minute. Yes, it sure do you because you know, I've spent eighteen months working on the book, and so you know, we've gotten let's say, used to the pandemic in a sense that we have more knowledge on what to expect and you know, how it's going and all of those good things. But on that day in April, uh, it was so new and it was so scary as to what was going on. So yeah, all of those things were I did a few media things, you know, some podcasts and a few things by zoom, but yeah, the typical I didn't get to experience the typical uh, you know, book tour, boo signing, media tours. I was scheduled to go to l A, I was scheduled go to New York. All those things were shut down very quickly. Um, And it was very disheartening because you put a lot of your heart and so into a project like this, and so it's why I'm more excited to talk to you now because I didn't get that much of an opportunity to do so with a hardback book. But maybe that was God's timing, because I think now that things are starting to turn around and open up, and kids are going back to school, and people are going back to work, and restaurants are trying to reopen. I think now we need your book and we need that drive more than ever. You know, that was a big slam on the brakes for a year, and now everybody's putting the pedal to the metal. So tell me about the book drive. Yeah. So, um, my brother Dale earned Heart June, You're who's a race car driver, wrote a book about his experiences with concussions, primarily, and in talking with the book publisher, as we were, I managed my brother's career and act as his agent and and things like that. So in working with the book publisher, they turned to me and said, you know, have you ever thought about writing a book? And I said it was a matter of fact, I'd love to write a book. Uh. I really wanted to write a book about being the daughter of Deal Earnhart because, UM, I really struggled as a kid, teenager, young twenties year old. Um, being his daughter, we had a tough relationship. Um, and so for a lot of different reasons, I wanted to talk about that because my dad, who's bigger than life to Deal Earnhart, who's seven time champion in NASCAR is bigger than life to so many people, and so most of my life, UM, I had to listen to your dad's so awesome. Your dad's um, you know the best ever. I've got this room of everything about your dad. I just love your dad. I met your dad Dotta, Dotta dot right, and I love all these stories, except that there was this little piece of well, there was a big piece of my heart really that was crying out going. I wish I could love my dad like that because I saw my dad as my dad and that relationship wasn't the best for me. And so that's really kind of where my focus was. And as we got into uh talking about the book and all, and they said, you know, Kelly, all of that's great, but let's not stay in the past. Let's talk about how that experience and how that molded you and shaped you as a businesswoman in NASCAR. And so I spend time in the book for the first four chapters talking about my relationship with my dad growing up. You know, these different feelings that I had, and look, my dad wasn't a bad dad. I had a roof over my head. My dad loved me my dad had a hard time showing love. He had a hard time that emotional piece that I needed, you know, just didn't exist. We were a product of divorce at an early age. And and just you know, so many different things that I talked about in the book, and so those first four chapters kind of shaped that up for the non lessons, and and the non lessons are really business oriented, life oriented. I'm a mom of three, have a twenty year old, a fifteen year old, and a nine year old. Um, you know, I'm a wife. My husband and I just celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary. And uh, you know, I had a relationship prior to that that resulted in my two beautiful girls. And during the period of life for me was a struggle and so I went through therapy and did a lot of work on myself. So the book just talks about from a business perspective. And you you said, you know, I do believe in God's timing, and you know, the struggle is real to that total trust they're right because we live in this earthly world where all these things are going on around us, and so my struggle is real when it comes to that. But timing is everything. And I talked about that in my book, you know, I talked about being a clinic and approachable and just how to make decisions and positioning yourself for success and letting go of things so that you can move forward, which was huge in my life for me to do. And you know, just so many things that work in business, communication and managing your emotions and balancing work and home life. So you know, a lot within these pages, um and it is real, and I hope it's encouraging to other people as they read the book. So one of the things that I know people keep shining a spotlight on or making a big deal about, is the fact that you're a woman in a man's world. You're a woman in a business of field that is dominated by your dad, your brother and thousands of men. But you don't make a big deal about that. You just say, I'm I'm just a person doing a great job, doing the best job that I can possibly do. And I love that you're making a statement by not making a statement. Yeah, that's kind of my way, you know. I just I think it's important just to let yourself shine. You know, it doesn't matter male, female, you know, young, old, whether you were the Harvard grad or the community school grad. The point is what you do with it right, you know, your actions, your integrity. I say in the book, you know my goal ultimately, I summed it up in five words, is I just want to make people happy. I just want people to be happy, feel happy, and whatever I can do to participate in making that work. You know, Like my workplace, the most important thing to me here is not winning races. It's people. It's the people that make up my business, you know, the hundred and thirty people that come in here every day and and devote themselves to this business and so that we can win races. But if I don't invest in the people and and hold the people in a in a good place, we don't get to win races because it doesn't work like that. I mean, you've got to have a good flow and a good work, you know, for to make it out happen. So I don't ever focus on the female aspect of it. I know I'm in a unique place, um and I'm one of very few females in the sport. And I know I can have a voice for females to do more and be more. But I just let you know, my actions and my skills and and so on and so forth kind of speak for themselves to kind of push that message or agenda, if you want to call it that. So I want to go back loop back to something you said a few minutes ago, when you were talking about your dad and how people would gush over him and show you pictures I'm sure they had taken with him, or or the memorabilia from races. My kids, I'm you know, certainly not not as bigger than life than your dad is. But I've been doing this radio thing for a long time. Give yourself some credit now, because I was in my office and I'm going to go to a podcast with Delilah and everybody was like, the Delilah and my kids get that all the time, Oh my gosh, your mom this, your mom that. And my daughter by bio daughter, Sheyla. I know it's such a struggle for her because she's like, you don't know the mom I know, Okay, you don't know the mom that throws red outs and throws nutties when she finds out that we took the car and snuck out. She's grown now with two kids of her own, so but I know that is so so hard for kids, and I try not to. When I was younger and I just had one, he went with me everywhere. He went with me to all my appearances. He was on stage with me, blah blah blah, because I was a single parent with one kid. But as my family grew, as I built my family, I still took them with me when I had to travel a lot. And then when they started finding their path, I tried to make it all about them, you know, when they were in school plays or school musicals or whatever. But I would go to the school musical just to support them, and teen people would crowd around. Oh my god, I heard you on there, you know, ten years ago, and you said blah blah blah, And I'm like, I'm here for my daughter. Can you look at my daughters? She's that pretty girl up on stage right there. Did your dad ever try to figure out a way to make that easier or was he oblivious? And a lot of that didn't bother me. I think my wounds emotionally were due to my parents divorced. I was four. We live with my mom and never seen our dad hardly between then and third grade. Very little recollection you know, there were other women in my dad's life there in that time period that we would you know, we would go maybe stay the night with him or whatever. And you know, my mom was trying to work really hard and provide for us, and you know, we just had this dad that was you know, a little absent, I guess would be the best word for it. So, but then we went through a house fire in the third grade and our house burnt to the ground at six am in the morning on the school morning, and it was literally my mom was just at the end of her means and she felt forced to move back to Virginia with her mom because we rented this house. We just you know, tried to make things meet really and so she felt that we would be best suited to go live with our dad went and lived with the man that you hadn't seen but weekend, right, So we go there and my dad had an own and off relationship with my stepmother prior to us moving in, and then when we moved in, and then they married about a year and a half after we moved in, and that was a really tough relationship for us because she was young. Um, you know, she inherited too kids there was a lot of fighting that I was aware of between my parents and her, and so it just it was a situation that me as a kid, I didn't need to experience. I didn't need to know that those things were going on. I didn't need to be pitted in between my parents and and my dad eventually kind of gave up the control of parenting to my stepmother. You know, he sacrificed a lot in the early years to be a race car driver, and the sacrifice continued, you know, ultimately really up to his death, because that was a huge sacrifice as well. We just never I don't know, he just never had an emphasis on just letting us know we were loved. You know, something was said the other day that someone said, when I disciplined my kids, I say, this behavior, you know, I don't like this behavior. This is the kind of behavior of that. You know, this isn't acceptable. It's never you're a bad kid, Why did you do that? Dot at all? And that's how it was for us. Our our relationship with our dad was very conditional, and so if you didn't act and do a certain way, you just didn't get his love. Even into my twenties, it was that way. If I didn't do what my dad said, if I didn't date who he wanted me to date, if I didn't break up with who he wanted me to break up with, whatever it might have been, if I just didn't act the way he wanted me to act, it was just cut off, you know, done. And we even went through a period of not speaking to each other, which was terrible. I was twenty six years old, and he passed at twenty seven, and and we were I had a five month old little girl prior to his passing, and we were just starting to try to repair and mend our relationship with her presence um. He was super proud of her and super excited to uh have her, you know, in our lives, and then five months later he died. And and so you know, there was a lot of things that I needed to put to bed as an adult based on all those experiences before I could kind of be happy with myself and and be a contributor to a relationship and to my kids and be a good mom. But how how wonderful of you to be bold enough to be honest about it. I think a lot of men in that time period and even today, it all boils down to ex dictations. You know, your dad had expectations of his kids. My dad had expectations of me and my brother and my sister, and when we didn't meet those expectations. There were four kids in my family, and the two of us that were older seemed to never meet dad's expectations. And so then the then the affection and the love was very conditional. You know, it was very very conditional, and I think men in that generation sorry, but I also think that it's it's still a lot of people struggle with it today. So I'm proud of you for being able to speak your truth. Because with a dad that famous, a brother that famous, a career as famous as yours, it's got to be hard, exactly, And I think, you know, it's it's actually been. It's been more positive than I would have thought, because when I started the process, Um, you know, one of the things that was said to me was, you know, you don't talk bad about people's heroes, right, And my dad is a hero to many. But I think that a lot of my dad's fans, who obviously would read this book, they've known me through the past twenty years of running Dell's business, and and they know my heart and that authenticity and kind of how I lay it out there. I think that that's been better for people to accept my conversation about my dad. Um. But you know, twenty years ago, that wouldn't have been even ten years ago, I don't think that would have been feasible. Um again timing you know when I wrote this book, because I think the world has has you know, evolved and changed in terms of that acceptance. And that's why I didn't speak about it prior to writing this book in a big way, because I don't think that it would have been as accepted as it is now. You know, I don't. It's not it's not a negative thing about my dad. It's just my experience and I'm the only one that had that experience, and so there's nothing wrong with me sharing that talking about that to others. So well, I can't wait to get a copy of Drive. Um. Like I said, my sister has been raving about you and raving about it. Tell me how you balance, Kelly, How you balance personal life? Three kids very spread out? Your oldest is how old twenty have a twenty and fifteen year old and then a nine year old son. That's that's quite a spread. It's not like you know, you you were three and done and moved on. So your twenty year old starting life, going to school, moving out that sort of thing, and your baby starting fourth grade, fifth grade, going into fourth yep, yep? How do you balance that? You know, I am I'm a doer for one. I just I get after it. You know, when I hit the four at six o'clock in the morning, I just have a lot of energy and whatnot. So I'm probably above average when it comes to just getting stuff done. Um and so so that's a good trait I get us, you know, to be in a fast paced life and three kids and run a business and and so on and so forth, and and being the NASCAR world. But you know, ultimately, what I had to figure out in life, and I talk about this in my book about balancing your work in life is for one, my family, you know, is of the utmost importance. And so, like you were talking about earlier, when you go to uh, you know, making time for the kids events and when you go to be all in and to be present at the play or the dance recital or whatever it might be, UM is super important. But also for them, you know, to share my work experience and to share with them, you know why something at the moment may be more important than being able to get to something at school or whatnot. At least having one parents there is is something that we try to do. But the one thing I had to learn really to balance my life was to say no. And that's a very difficult thing for me because I'm a people pleaser. I want to you know, I want to do everything. And when you're good at stuff, people ask you to do stuff right, and so um, you know, I get asked to do a lot of things. I get asked to be on a lot of different boards, I get asked to participate in a lot of different situations and committees and whatever it is besides my day job, and you know, even outside of work with your kids and their activities and stuff like that. And I eventually just had to really set myself up and say, you know what, I am only as good to everything else that I participate in if I'm good to myself. And so I had to kind of you know, start saying no, start prioritizing, uh, you know, that balance and what was important so that I could be a good met so that good me could be good to everything else because I got stuck in a little bit of a rut trying to to be everything to everyone. And that's just not feasible in life, you know, not feasible, not possible, not sustainable, the power of no. It took me a long time to learn that. But boy, when I learned, and I'm like, nope, no, no, no, we're not going there. No, you're not doing that. Yeah, exactly, that's what's gonna say. The parents that are are talking about shuffling this kid it is and this kid to that and that kid and this kid plays three sports and not I'm just like, makes my head spin. And you know, I get that the kids enjoy it, and those are you know, they're great things to figure out maybe their path or whatever they want to do. But sometimes that's very unbalanced and it just makes your life crazy. Yeah. I had, I finally had to draw the line. So you can do one activity semester. If you're gonna play volleyball, that's great, but you're not also going to do you know, X Y Z. If you're going to be in girl Scouts, that's great, but then you're not going to be going to youth group on the same night, trying to get to both. So good for you. Good for learning the power of no and the power of yes, because when you say no to those things, you're really seeing yes to being available to love yes. And that's what I want other people to feel to you when they when they talked to me, I'm I'm a big believer in all of those things. So tell me about your relationship with your brother. It sounds like you guys are very close. We are. I think that's just a product of the environment that we were raised to kind of took the mother hen roll on. And when we live with our mom, she worked third shift and so I'd have to do a lot of evening things and and get us up in the morning and things like that. We would have, you know, sitter or whatnot. But I just kind of took that role of taking care of things with him and just kind of always looked over him. You know. We went from K through twelfth grade. I went to eight different schools. I went to every school imaginable. We went to military school, we went to Christian school, we went to just a private school, we went to public school, and so I kind of followed del and I whatever schools we were in. I just make sure that he was kind of timid and small and got picked on a lot. And so I just kind of was the big sister that always over over saw what was going on. And then when we lost our dad, Um, you know, he was twenty five and I was twenty seven, and he was just starting his career in NASCAR. His first season was in and his first full time Cup season was in two thousand and so we lost ourted out in February of two thousand one, so they were just starting. Devil was starting his second season, and so that was a huge deal and at the time of his life. And so I jumped in and and begged him to go to work for him. I worked at a industry that did all the licensed product diecasts and had some T shirts and stuff that you saw at the racetrack, and and I said, you know, I really think you need me to come work for you because the world, as you know it, is getting ready to change. My dad he kind of handled all of my brother's business and was the strategist as far as what was going to go on next. And with our step mom in charge, I just felt like that probably you know, it wasn't gonna be the case, and that Del Junior's interests weren't going to be protected and looked at from his standpoint. So I went to work for him in August of two thousand one. And so we've been together twenty years from a business perspective, sister, business agent, all that good stuff, and uh, we have a great relationship, a close relationship. You know. Now he's married with two children. He's got a three year old and a seven month old, and so he's kind of started in a new phase of his life, which has been fun to witness and seem particularly as you know, I had kids a lot earlier and and my kids are grown and growing. Um. So yeah, it's a it's a fun dynamic. Um. I've enjoyed working with him. He retired in two thousand seventeen, I think for the last year that he drove, and he's been broadcasting on NBC. And I still manage, you know, I come into the office every day and manage his business on a personal standpoint, and then all of his relationships with different partners, and then we operate for race teams as well in the Axfinity series so we have a lot going on and it's fun. Even after twenty years, I still enjoy it. Kelly, you have led an amazing life. I'm so glad you decided to share it with Race fans and just all of us, those wanting to succeed in business, those wanting to succeed in life. Thank you for sharing with us on Love Someone. Before I let you go, I need to let another podcast sponsor take a lap, and then we'll tell my listeners where we can get your book. Oh come on, kids, Honestly, how many World's Greatest Dad mugs can one dad have? Or does he really need another para sox. I've discovered man Creates the source for great gifts for this Father's Day. One look at each of their gift creations and you'll discover they have something for every dad. There are hundreds of great gift ideas. Man Creates dot Com has the gear, the flavors, and the activities millions of dad's love. Finding the perfect gift is almost as much fun as giving it. Try their exotic jerky toolbox, a real toolbox stuffed with wild meats like Elk, venison and bore, or the grill Master crate jammed with everything your grill master needs, from spices, sauces, thermometers, smoker box, even a brass knuckle meat tenderizer. You can personalize so many of the crates, and most Man crates are shipped in their own unique container, a wooden crate with a crowbar, or an AMMO can, or a gift card cased in a concrete block. It makes the gift unwrapping as awesome as the gift itself. Now, through Father's Day June, get twenty percent off site wide when you spend one nine dollars or more at Man Creates dot com slash hope. Yep, that's off. When you spend a hundred and forty nine dollars or more at Man Creates dot com slash hope. Man Creates dot com slash hope. Kelly Earnhardt Miller, thank you for spending time with us. Thank you for being transparent. Thank you. I hate to use the word authentic because it's overused as one of those buzzwords right now, but you are and I can tell that that you you have your priorities lined up perfectly, and so thank you, thank you, thank you well, yes, thank you, thanks for having me on here. If anybody, uh you know, wants to check the book out, they can go to Kelly Earnhardt Drive dot com and give you all the places that it's available for purchase and uh fare in the area of Moors Forlle, North Carolina, come see us at Junior Mart Sports. Tell me that again, it's Kelly Earnhardt Drive dot com and it'll just give you the list of places it's available. So Amazon and the bookstores that it's available, and it's on our Junior Nation dot hom website. You can get autograph copies and whatnot. So it's a good one stop resource. Drive. Nine Lessons to Win in Business and in Life is out and available for purchase right now. I'd say make a terrific gift for Father's Day, for graduation, for anyone going through a transition and looking for inspiration and some wisdom. There's a lot of wisdom in there. Thank you all for listening. I appreciate you being with me on this podcast journey. I love being able to share so many different stories and the inspiration that comes with every life lived fully. Recently, I've talked with the director of volunteers from Mercy Ships, a charitable organization that turns ships into giant floating hospitals that travel to the poorest places on Earth to perform life changing, life saving surgeries. And I was joined by Jennifer Harry of Children's Action Network and Foster More. We talk in depth about kids in foster care, attempting to dispel some of the myths and highlighting the areas of the greatest needs. It's a topic that's very dear to me as I have adopted many, many children, most of them out of foster care. Perhaps it will spark something within you that compels you to step up to the plate, to use your talents in your times to make the future brighter for vulnerable kids. It was so much fun to host Love Someone with Kelly Earnhardt Miller today. I'm hoping you enjoyed the chat as much as I did. Join me here next time, and of course on the air waves every night, where I do my best to keep you company and to remind you to slow down and love someone. Nine