DELILAH: Happy Mother's Day

Published May 7, 2019, 2:00 PM

Happy Mother's Day! To all of you who have been a mother; a birth mother, a step mother, an adoptive mother, a grandmother, a mothering aunt, a single dad that must carry both loads... I want to honor and thank you for a sometimes thankless job. 

Mother's are our unsung heroes, the givers of life, the ones who teach, who love, who sacrifice. Those who forgive the sometimes unforgivable, the supporters, the nurturers... The ones who care, always.

I'm sharing some great calls from my archives that celebrate mother's and motherhood, and sharing my thought with you on the topic. Thank you for joining me on the special May episode of LOVE SOMEONE ~ Delilah  

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So down and Love Someone.

With Hello, my friend, and welcome to another edition of our podcast Loves Someone with Delilah. Normally, on these podcasts, I have been talking to people, interviewing people, some people who are very very famous, like writers and authors and actors and such, and some folks who aren't that famous, who are doing their part to change the world one heart at a time, because really that's what this podcast is all about. But today's podcast is a special edition celebrating the role of motherhood. You know, moms are kind of the unsung heroes of the world. They really are. Moms shape their children, who shape the world. So Mother's Day, this Mother's Day is coming up, and I've gotten so many calls, so many great calls from people who want to celebrate their mothers, the role their mother played in their life, or they want to celebrate their children and how being a mom has transformed them. We have a lot of people who call in who want to talk about birth moms and adoptive moms, being a birth mom, having the courage, because it takes a hell of a lot of courage, my friend, it takes so much courage to say I do not have the resources to raise this child that's growing in my womb. But I want this child to have life and to have it fully. And I am going to bless a family that cannot conceive with a child to love and raise. Takes a lot of courage to do that. So we talked to birth moms, We talked to adoptive moms, We talked to grandmoms who aren't just grandmom but are helping to raise their grandkids. And so for this addition of love someone with Delilah, We're going to honor mom. We are going to honor the women in your life who have made you a priority from day one. And I think this is especially fitting since my daughter, Sheila, became a mom this year. And this was a little girl that, for the last five or six years since she became an adult, said I don't want kids, don't even want to think about having kids. Not not for me. She honestly said, I am not cut out to make those kind of sacrifices. And then five days after she lost her brother, my son Zach, she found out she was pregnant. And let me tell you what a fabulous mother she is. Every fiber of her being cares for, loves and nurtures her daughter. My oldest daughter, Lannie, has been a mom, a single mom for many years because my granddaughter is seventeen and she is such a good mom, so dedicated. My son Isaiah, married a woman who together they have four biological children, and they are adopting a little boy out of foster care. My daughter in law is an amazing mother, amazing mother, so loving, so focused, so positive. She is fiercely committed to my son and their children. I am surrounded with really good moms. My mom was a really good mom who boy was she crazy, but she loved her four children with all of her being. She was larger than life in every way. And the impact she had on my life, my heart, and on the lives of so many others, not just her children, but so many others. No way to describe it, no words for it. So let's listen to some of the phone calls that we have picked out curated if you will, for this special edition of Love Someone with Delilah as we honor moms. In this podcast, David Skall speaks to his mother being a teacher and some of her lessons leading him to a profession that isn't all that common and David wants to brag about his mama, while Sondra is talking about the support her mom continues to provide, not just when she was little and mama was making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but now how her life is complete because her mom is there to help her parent her own children and be that motivating force. David, Hi, thank you for calling the Delilah Show. I understand that you have a pretty good relationship with your mama.

Definitely, we've always been doing things together. She actually taught me to sew as a child, and that's part of my profession at this time. So she's always been there for me when I need her.

What's your mother's name?

Her name is Helen.

Now when you say so, are you a designer? Are you do you do upholstery?

What kind of sewing?

Actually, I'm behind the scenes. I do the pattern making, so I actually do the construction of the garments.

Really, how very cool is that?

I think it's great. I get to work with some wonderful designers the company I work for, but we also get to do some fun things like Macy's Day parade costumes and cheerleading costumes for some big football teams. So that's fun.

So you like doing the design, That means you're mathematical if you can look at something and then translate it into.

A pattern, very much.

So yes, Now do you actually do those little turn into those little paper patterns that you buy at the fabric store that come.

In the package.

That's exactly the kind of work I do.

You are evil.

I try not to be those patterns. Never fold back up, use your iron.

Tried using my iron. I nearly caught my house on fire.

I forgot that I had to turn the setting down and then they got all wet and sticky from the steam.

Oh yes, most.

Yeah, but no, I've been sewing since my.

Mom taught me.

Wonderful.

Hi, good evening, Welcome to the Delilah Show. Is this Sondra?

It is? So?

I'm good? How are you? What can I do for you tonight?

Well, briefly, when I first emailed about my mother, just testifying how awesome she is and what she does for me and my three children, you know, there's there's just not enough words to express how much she helps us. And you know myself, I'm a pastor, chaplain full time, mom, go to school part time I'm doing my master's trying to get it in divinity and all. This is possible because she helps while I, you know, go to school work and Pastor couldn't do it without her.

So you're a mom and a pastor going to hospitals, serving communions, saying prayers, meeting the emotional and spiritual need of a flock of people, and.

Going to school.

Yes, and you think your mom's amazing. I see, I couldn't do that because that peace and that grace that you're supposed to exemplify when you're in that position just wouldn't be there.

You know.

It would be like this. People would call Pastor Delilah.

What what what?

I'm tired, I'm cranky. I don't think I would sound quite like I do at night.

You know, just just thinking about what I would say to you. It was, you know, thinking about the patience that she has because I do have those days, and I have them quite often. But she just knows how to put things in perspective, you know, and organize you know, the home. She's an armor bearer, she's a you know, she's super.

These are such great examples, these phone calls and stories like David and Sondra of how the role of a mother may change over time. Once you graduate high school. That role changes as you into adulthood, but it doesn't end. Your mama doesn't stop being a mama when you turn eighteen or twenty one or thirty one, when you move to a dorm room, when you buy your first home. The role of your mom changes, but it never ends because mothering is endless. It's boundless, it's timeless. My next two callers are from different sides of the adoption triad. We call it a triad because there are three sides to the triad, the birth mom who carries the baby, the adoptive mom who is blessed to adopt the baby, and the actual adoptee, so we refer to it as the triad. These two callers are different sides of the same coin. Amanda and her brother were adopted at a very young age. She obviously realizes the strength and the courage her mother put forth to create the family of her dreams, while Heather, Heather made an unbelievable sacrifice when she realized she was not in a position to raise her newborn and chos instead to place that baby into the arms the home the hearts of others that she knew could provide her daughter with everything she could not. Mothering, you see, comes in all shapes and sizes and colors and forms.

Hi, Amanda, what can I do for you?

Hi?

Well, I guess I was just going to kind of share my story, and it was the story about my mom, because I know you do a lot of adoption stories on your show, and I had heard you talking to a younger lady that had been adopted, and I just kind of wanted to share the story about, you know, my adoption and my mom because she's pretty wonderful and what she did was pretty wonderful.

Okay, tell me your story.

I just remember I had heard you speaking with the young lady and she was saying about you. Guys were talking about at some point an adopted child, you know, when arguing with their their mother that you know they've used the kind of one liner you're not you're not my real mom, right, But you're not my real mom?

And I always say to mine my kids, say that my adopted kids, Honey, I am as real as are attack.

Yes, that's exactly what you know. My mom would say something like that, but I have never ever thought that line or that thought ever in my entire life. And my mom adopted you know, me and my brother when we were very little, when we were.

Like two years old.

She actually went to the Philippines and lived there for about three or four months to adopt us. And she even became a citizen of the country while she stayed there.

And she was just.

So intent on, you know, adopting to little kids. And you know, I just like I said, when I thought about that conversation between you and that young lady, I just thought, you know, I've never I love my mom like you know. She's my my mom. I've never known any other mom. She's my my real mother's run through And you know, I love her with all my heart. And I think God every day that I have the mom that I have because she's given you know, me and my brother so many opportunities. And I'm sorry, I don't mean to get It's okay, you can get as.

Emotional as you want.

Here's a mom that went halfway around the world, became a citizen of another country because she knew that you were meant to.

Be her baby.

Exactly.

That's what she said.

She said she was not going to walk out of that orphanage without us in her arms, and she sure did not. She stayed there and you know, went through everything that she had to go through to get us, and she walked down there with us in her arms. And you know, I'm without her doing that. I just, you know, my brother and I are so blessed because she gave us the life that we could never have gotten if we stayed in you know, another third world country, and she just an angel. And I'm just so thankful for everything and everyone I have around me right now.

Hi, good evening, Hi Delilah.

This is Heather.

How are you tonight?

Heather? I'm good. What can I do for you?

Well, I'm for true reason.

First, I want to say thank you for all that you do. You're amazing. And the second reason I'm calling is because there's a special little girl in my heart tonight. And she just turned thirteen today, and she was very far away from me because I was young and I wanted her to have a better life than I could give her. So I put her out for adoption to a family who couldn't have kids, and she's just in my heart tonight. The God can just bridge the gap between hearts tonight.

So you're a birth mom and you made the very painful but very loving choice to place your daughter for adoption. Is it a closed adoption or an open one? Have you seen her?

Do you?

Are you able to correspond or anything? Or will that wait until she's older?

I was at one point, and I think the situation changed when the was just a little too real for me, and so it's been closed for a while. But I believe that as I'm getting my life more on check, that God is going to present the opportunity where I can see her again and I can show her, Hey, you know, it's not that you weren't loved, sweetheart, It's just that I.

Wasn't able to give you what you need.

I mean, she had a college fund before she was even adopted, she has two parents.

A brother.

She's got everything she could ask for, and I couldn't ask for anything better for her.

Well, as a mom who was blessed to adopt a lot of kids, can I just say thank you?

You are most welcome, and thank you because you're such an inspiration.

Every night we are going to continue this podcast honoring moms. Coming right up the home Depot is the sponsor of this podcast. They're also the solution to my washer and dryer needs. Have you had this happen to you? Your washing machine decides one late night on its own to retire it's washed its last load of laundry. My own washer gave me some clues, but even my repairman suggested it's time for new appliances. The Home Depot has guaranteed lowest prices on top brand name appliances Samsung, lg Ge. Visit your home Depot, choose from the large selection of appliances, then you schedule your delivery. It's free the Home Depot, more saving, more doing. Kevin is my last caller in this podcast. When we spoke, he had recently lost his precious mama. The love, the respect, the honor for her is so evident as you will hear in his voice. You'll hear it in his voice. It's palpable. She sounds like such a remarkable lady. Then again, most of us feel that way about our mama's.

Hi, Lala, how are you, Kevin?

I am wonderful. What can I do for you?

Well? I guess about two weeks ago I wrote a letter on your website and I had stated in the letter that I just wanted everybody to know about my mother. She passed away this past March. She was seventy three years old, and after raising six plus children by herself, with my father being active duty Navy and often gone six months at a time, she still managed to do quite a few things. She was a master at horseback riding. She owned her own doll factory with her own design. She was an accomplished real estate agent, very successful. And she was an award winning watercolor artist, of which she was only one of two people in history to have I've ever been given the right, the authority and commission to paid secretariat. But more than that, during my entire life and the lives of my five brothers and sisters, she always knew what had to wear and when to wear it. And I wanted to share that story with everybody.

Wow, this makes me very very sad, Kevin, that I never got to meet your mother.

Well, I'll tell you she touched the lives of many, many, many many people.

I'm an artist, though I'm not an accomplished one. I'm a horseback rider, though again.

Not a good one.

I know that you love horses.

I love horses and I love to ride my horses, but I'm not a good horseback rider.

My mother was an avid listener to you and Kevin.

What's your mama's name, Carol? I am very sorry I didn't have a chance to meet her. She sounds like an amazing woman and somebody I would have instantly fallen in love with.

She was. She was all that and more, all that and much more.

Mothers are remarked. Being a mother is remarkable. It's exhausting, it's heartbreaking, it's frustrating. There is no such love as that of a mother. I can honestly say I did not get that. I did not understand it at all until September sixteenth, nineteen eighty four, when I became a mother. And that is when I began to comprehend just a tiny bit, how fiercely, how deeply my mother loved me and my siblings. I didn't get it. I was such an ungrateful brat to my mom. And then I had my son, and I went, oh, my gosh, this is how she feels for me. Mom's love one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. It's that love, of that foundation of love that created, that established the pattern for my whole life. It prepared me for the most difficult, most painful role I would ever take on the role of mothering. It's not easy, especially when you have unique children, special needs children, children who don't fit into the realm of being called typical. It's exhausting and a lot of times I feel like throwing up my hands and giving up. To all moms, I say thank you, thank you for bearing us, thank you for loving us, thank you for raising us, teaching us, championing us, giving of yourself and sacrificing more than you knew you were capable. Moms, You are are, yesterday, are today, and our future. Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and all single dads who are all mothers. I hope that you feel loved and honored this weekend and all the year through. I'm glad that you joined me on Love Someone for this special Mother's Day edition the special podcast as we wanted to honor mothers. We've had terrific guests. We are going to have a whole lot more terrific guests coming very soon. Oh my goodness, do we have some great podcasts lined up for you. So come back here, continue to download and listen to our podcast and of course join me every night on the radio and do me one favor. Take some time out of your busy schedule to slow down and love someone

LOVE SOMEONE with Delilah

In a world that can feel divisive and bleak, it's easy to get caught up in feelings of hopelessness, 
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