Hello, my friends, Welcome back, Welcome to today's podcast episode of Love Someone with Delilah. I am so delighted to be able to have this extra bit of time with you. I love taking calls, but I would like to get a little deeper, to go a little deeper, to talk a little bit more about specific things or with specific people. And that is why we have our podcast series Love Someone. The whole purpose, my whole prayer, my whole reason for doing this podcast was that I wanted to talk to people who are changing this world for good. Some of those people are very famous. If you heard some of my last few podcasts, I talked to Michael BUBLEI, to m Tebow, to Josh Grobin. But some people, some of the podcast are just ordinary people who did extraordinary things. And that, my friend, is what today's podcast is all about. This conversation is sponsored by the Home Depot. They're so good at taking care of you when you need their help the most, Like when you step into your kitchen intent on baking with your oven, only to learn that the oven has decided it's baked its last pie and has permanently retired. Don't worry, the Home Depot has a large selection, and they're quick to provide free shipping. They open early and stay open late, and they know you may well spend a lot of time making your decisions, and they're perfectly fine with that. My friends at the Home Depot are the best. When you need a new appliance in your kitchen or anywhere in your home, think of the home, Pope. Have you ever felt a whisper in your heart, a voice, a feeling urging you to do something. Maybe you became overwhelmed by all the what ifs, the avalanche of details your brain tumbled at you. Today, I have the privilege of talking with two incredibly brave, incredibly beautiful, loving women, Barbara Marlowe and Tiba Ferrat Marlowe. They are the authors of the book A Brave Face, which was released on March twelve. Their story, as you're about to hear, is a fabulous testimony to my assertion that changing the world is a job best done one heart at a time. This story, Barbara's and Tiba's story, all started the grainy photograph in a newspaper and a whisper in Barbara's heart. Tell me the name of the book, and Barbara, what was birthed in you to write the book. Well, the name of the book is called A Brave Face and it is being published by Harper Collins. Loved the title, loved the picture on the front. Tiba, thank you. And the impetus for the book actually started many, many years ago. When Teba first got here. There was an article in People magazine in their Heroes among Us section, and at the time, the editor said, you know, this would make a great book. And so she put together a book proposal, and she submitted it to an agent in New York who also said, hey, this is a great book, but she's only been here one year. What's the rest of the story. There was no middle, and there was definitely leno and and so I kind of tabled it and I put everything away. And over the course of all these years now, repeatedly me and Tiba would always get people saying, Oh, this needs to be a book, this needs to be a movie, You need to write a book. And this went on and on and on, and I didn't think much about it until one day I was cleaning out some papers and I came across that original book proposal. So I pulled it out and I thought, you know, maybe I ought to revisit this because I keep hearing it over and over and over again. So I contacted the original agent and he said that he would still be interested in the story. And I had also contacted a local friend, Jennifer Curran, who is a writer and who really did a great story about Tib and I many years ago, and spoke to her about helping to put this book proposal together. And so she and I we did it, submitted it, and the agent in New York loved it because now our story actually comes full circle, and so there's a lot of emotional parts in it, and um, the next thing, you know, here we are, here you are, So Barbara, I go back to how it all began and and just paint the picture for me. When you and your hubby were sitting were you in your living room when you saw the TV coverage? Actually it was a newspaper article. My husband was going out to walk our dog and I picked up the newspaper and there on the cover was an article about children in a rack that needed multiple surgeries and they couldn't get them. And keep in mind, this was in two thousand and six. July six, two thousand and six specifically, and I was reading the article, and of course there was photographs, and I was completely captivated by this one little girl who was four years old at that time, sitting on her father's lap. And the article said that this little girl named Tiba, when she was nineteen months old, Uh, they had struck an I E. D. Bomb and it had severely burned her face, her head, and her and her hands and had killed her little precious three year old brother. And her eyes were so captivating to me, and I couldn't get him out of my head. And so I cut the article out and put it in my pocket, and I said, you know what, I have to try to do something to help her. And so the next day I emailed the correspondent and Bagdad and asked him, I just want to I just want to interject here and ask where were you, Barbara in life at that time? You were married, married. Uh, my husband has three grown children, so they were off and getting married and doing their own thing. They were starting their lives, and it was just my husband and I and I had no previous children of my own. Okay, So July six, two thousand and six, you see a little picture, how big was this photograph. Oh, the picture of her was maybe I don't know, three by three at the most, okay, and something connected your eyes saw that picture of her eyes, and something connected, and you decided that God was calling you to make a difference. Oh, I knew it. I knew it momentarily. And this is gonna sound very weird, um And sometimes you read about this happening to other people, but I really genuinely felt like the room had blacked out and all I could focus on was Tiba and those eyes. And I really felt that we had a connection in that picture. And at that moment, it was just one of those heart moments. You know, you just know this is what you're meant to do. And I never looked back, and I never even thought about what it was going to take to make it happen. But we just kept going forward and never stopped. So you see the picture, a little girl burned over, you know, most of her body. What was the first step that you took? Because she was an I rack. I mean, it's not like you can just pack your bags and go on vacation to Iraq and and look up this little girl and say, you know, you're very God aunt is here and I want to help you. Right well, I will say one thing though her her body was fine, it was just her face, her head in her hands. And I contacted I emailed the correspondent bagg dad, and I said, you know, if I can get her the help she needs, would you talk to the family because in the article itself it talked about her wanting to have a wig before she went to school, and her dad did say in the article he wanted to get her other help. And so the correspondent, of course, was surprised that I had even emailed him about it, because he had told Tiba's father when they did the original interview, don't expect anything, anything short of a miracle to have anybody tried to reach out, and so he was very surprised when I call, and I probably think he thought, well, maybe I was just, you know, trying to do something but wouldn't follow through. But I did, and I contacted all the people at Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital in Cleveland, and they had agreed that they would evaluate her. They couldn't commit to anything because I needed to see her. They were just looking at this photograph that I presented to them. Girlfriend, you are bold. I love your faith, I love your boldness. Gone. Yeah, I was very bold. I was bold, and I don't want to say demanding, but I was so self assured that this was going to happen. I just had no doubt in my mind and in my heart specifically. And there were little signs of things that came along the way, and if I may share a couple of those with you as we tell our story, but one of them was about six months in trying to get her here. It was so difficult trying to navigate through this political quagmire, and I kept thinking that nobody would say no to me, because who's going to resist helping her? Look at this little face, right, And so then I um, about six months into it, I'm still ending in my driveway and I am screaming at God. I'm blaming him for everything, and why aren't you helping me? And what good are you? And I'm just ranting like a crazy person. And then as I turned to come back in the house, I looked out and at my feet in the driveway is a golf ball marker. And I picked it up, and Delilah, when I turned it over, it said God loves you. And at that moment I knew, I mean, you just know, the hair stood up on my neck and on my arms, and I started to cry, and I just knew everything was going to be okay. And shortly thereafter there were certain pieces of the puzzle that fell into place, and they're all explained in the book. And the next thing, you know, I after a few more months and putting a few more puzzle pieces together, I get this phone call and they say, well, when do you want her? And I just dropped to my knees and I just sobbed. Oh my gosh, so did you keep that little um, that little golf ball marker? And it's a price possession. But the odd thing is that in my head when they said, well when do you want her, I'm like ticking off dates in my head and I'm thinking, Okay, we can't do the fourth of July because I don't want her to come here and hear fireworks and be afraid and bombs and all, you know, all just sorts of loud noises. So we picked a date and I didn't think anything about the date that we picked until probably about two years later, when it finally hit me that the day we picked was July six, two thousand seven, and she arrived exactly one year to the day that I read about her. I love that, love that, love that. So this little girl shows up, she's five now, and what hospital had agreed to UM see her. It's University Hospitals, Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital. So t But do you remember those first days when you first came to the US from Iraq? Yeah, I do remember it. Um. I remember kind of looking around thinking, oh, my goodness, this is crazy. My grandma, my dad's mother, came with me. She accompanied me on the trip um because she didn't want my mother to go since she was young and she didn't want her to travel alone with me. So my grandmother came with me. And we had spent a few like six months in Jordan's prior to coming to America. Then we landed in Cleveland, Ohio, and stayed with the Marlow's, who I now call mom and Dad. We stayed with them for a few nights and then slept at Ronald McDonald house for a while, and then I went back to the Marlow's house. Barbara, did you guys know at that time how long the process would be? Oh? Not at all. I believe that if you are confronted with the situation, sometimes if you look at the big picture and the magnitude of it, you won't take that first step. I'm so inspired talking with Barbara and her daughter Tiba today. Teba has grown from a little girl so badly wounded, so badly burned, who needed help, to a young woman who helps others. And the bond between this mother and daughter, the love between these women and Tiba's family, her biological family has grown to include so many people, communities, worlds apart. Thank you for joining me today, ladies and sharing your beautiful story. Yeah. When I was like five or just um getting ready to make the journey, I was told I was going to America for just a few short months because that's what my parents figured the surgeries would take. And when we got here, Dr cos Sain set us straight right away saying, oh no, this is going to take several several procedures and many years for recovery as well. So yeah, none of us were expecting it to be that long of a process. So going from that environment and that atmosphere and that culture and the food and your family and your mom and dad to coming home to the Marlow's. What was that like for your little five year old heart. Um, well, I definitely didn't understand the circumstances I was in. I was kind of just, you know, doing whatever my grandma told me, so I would just hold her hand and we'd walk through everything. But I remember walking into Marlow household and just my jaw dropped because I was like, what is this marble floor? This is crazy? And I remember the refrigerators and I know I was so scared to flush the toilets, and it was just a completely new world for me. And being five years old, it wasn't very hard for me to assimilate into that lifestyle because you know, it was interesting and fun and I was I was ready to participate in that. But for someone like my grandma, who was uch older and way more set in her ways, it was evident that she was just like uncomfortable the whole time because it was it was nothing like she was used to. And you can't even blame her for that, because she knew what she knew, and when it was time for her to go back, it was time, you know, because she was just so out of place here and that that had to be so stressful to want the best for you and want to be your guide and help you navigate that, and yet being completely out of your element like a fish out of water, not being able to breathe, but wanting the best for you, and not speaking and not speaking the language either. So, Barbara, how long into the relationship with Tiba and her grandma do you think she developed in us enough trust in you and your husband that she was able to let go of Tiba's hand and put her hand in yours, Like, was there a moment, was there a defining situation or something that happened where Grandma's soul was at peace knowing that she could trust you. I do recall that she was having a conversation with her son, Tiba's father, and the situation and Iraq was pretty dire, and she was very afraid of what was going on with her family, and in particular, she was trying to reach one son and she could never reach him. And her father said, at that point, you know, leave leave Teba and come home. She's safe, she's with the Marlowe's. It's all good. And maybe it was at that point. So, Barbara, how long was Tiba in your household before you finally realize that she's going to be here for a while. It was actually after that first doctor's appointment when he said years and years and years, and that's when her grandmother had that look up shock on her face and said, I can't stay here, I have to go. But um, the minute Tiba was in our home, our home changed. It was like a home before it was just my husband and I and we came and did whatever, and it was different. And Tiba brought something into my life in particular that I never had before, and that was the opportunity to mother her and to take care of her. And I just, I mean, I fell in love with that photograph before I ever met her. I fell in love with her before I ever met her, and it was just meant to be. And I remember her grandmother left and she's laying in bed, and keep in mind, this is a five year old who was just learning English, and she says to me in broken English, you know, mom, how come you never had any kids? And she says, well, my brother and your mother sent me to you to be your daughter. And I had, I mean I stared at her for a minute and that I had, that had to really resonate in me because I couldn't imagine what she was saying. And then I realized that her the accident was in two thousand three, and my mother died in two thousand three, so her brother died also of course then, and she's telling me that the two of them in heaven are sending her to me to be my daughter. And I just broke down because you start to like doubt yourself that you're looking into things that aren't there, but yet they are there, and you go round and round with with your faith. And one day Tiba was playing with these dolls, and everybody would bring her a doll, and she started to name them all. And one day she names them all Sarah and Anna, and I said, you know, how do you know those names, honey, where did you get those names? I don't know. I just like them. So I get this picture and I said, honey, these are my grandmother's Their names are Sarah and Anna, and I was closer to them than my parents. And yet those are the only two names that she picks out of the sky to name all of her dolls. All along the way, it sounds like God was giving you very clear signs Oh yeah, I'm very very clear, and her mother got some very clear signs too. So um, when we were able to, over the years have conversations about it, it was amazing how so many of the things that happened on her end inter wreck and that happened to me here were parallel. Hardest thing to give up, Barbara, when you became a mom to Teba, what was the hardest thing for you to transition going from the life that you knew before, Like you said, your house was a house, to it becoming a home with this precious little girl. Well, I was fifty two years old when Teba came, and so you would imagine that by then I'd be pretty set in my ways. But I have to tell you there wasn't anything that I had a hard time giving up. There wasn't anything that mattered more than her. And I mean I mean, if I had to like dig super super deep, I mean, yeah, maybe the ability to come and go freely wasn't there anymore, But that wasn't even a big deal because I really would have rather spent time with her than anybody else. You know. I tell her that of this day, I'd rather be with her than with anyone. I kind of set you up for that because i work with um kids in foster care and I'm always trying to encourage people to consider building a family through adopting kids out of foster care. And they come back with I can I'm forty, I'm forty five years old, I can't start now, And you just said the truth. The reality is it's a joy to make that sacrifice. You know, with Tiba, why would you want to miss on an opportunity to have someone like her in your life just because you think you're too old or you think you can't because they bring so much more to you. So, Tiba, you hear your mama bragging about you like this, how does that make you feel in your heart? To know that you have that kind of unconditional love behind you. It puts a smile on my face. And when I hear my mom Barbara say these things, I know also my mom back home is saying the same things because both my mother's they're very connected and they both show me so much unconditional love and it's something I'm I'll forever be grateful for because I know there are so many kids in this world that don't even have one mom and my heart breaks for them. But also I'm just counting my blessings because I got two moms that brag about me all the time, and it gets annoying sometimes, but I just because they love me. So annoying to know that they see all the good and all the value in me. Because you're not just uh, you're not a typical young woman. You're very ambitious, You're very well spoken. You do speaking engagements, and you have used uh your challenges to motivate other young people. What are share with our listeners some of the cool things Tiba that you've done. I mean, besides helping to write a book that I think is going to be a best seller. Yeah, so I did hope my mom write that book, but it's mostly her her book. Um, I've done, like you said, many speaking engagements for fundraisers or for just um public events that I've helped my mom out with. And um, I speak to encourage well. My goal is to encourage the children who are in situations that I know all too well. And so I'll speak for hospitals and whatever, and I get to tell the children, Hey, I know it's hard, but I beg you to hold on and I've also I'm a youth Youth Ambassador for the Iraqi Children Foundation, so my mom's part of that organization as well. But it helps these displaced children um in in Iraq that don't really have anywhere to go, don't have an education, and don't have any um legal help. So we've been able to speak behalf of them and help them. You know, one of the reasons I wanted to do a podcast in addition to my regular show is because I believe that everybody Barbara has that thing in their heart, regardless of where you live or what your faith is, there is something in our heart that wants to make the world a better place, a kinder place. But a lot of people are afraid to step out on faith and take that first step. A lot of people think I could never do this. And you looked at a picture in a newspaper and found the strength and the courage you and your your family to move forward confidently. Like you said, who could turn that that beautiful face down to to be proactive? What would you say to a person who's listening to this podcast right now, who might have a passion for children, for displaced children, for animals, for our environment. What would you say to them when that voice pops up in their heads and says, so you could you You could never do that? What do you say to them? I think that you don't have to maybe go across the country like I did, and this was my calling, Um, you could do something in your own community. Like I said, don't look at the big picture, look at what you can do immediately, and then it's not so overwhelming. But you can do it. And it doesn't always mean um, because we are not people of means by any stretch. So it doesn't mean that you have to have lots of money, but it's a gift of time and effort and holding somebody's hand and just being a voice for them or a voice for them that they can listen to. T But when you were younger, and you would look in the mirror and see, you know, what had happened because of the the I E ed and the burns. Did you ever imagine that you would be the face that encourages so many other young people. No? I was actually looking in the mirror and saying, twenty years from now, hopefully my scars will go away. And as I've gotten older, I realized that's just not something that's going to happen. It will never happen. But I've also come to realize that's not necessarily a bad thing, because, like you said, I can provide that solace and that help for other children and that encouragement that they need. So if I have to um be burdened, I guess with these scars, then okay, because at least it's benefiting other people. So it's okay if twenty years from now they're not disappearing. How many surgeries have you faced, Eva? Nineteen surgeries. Wow, she's so different now than when she had that first accident with some of these scars. You know, I've always told her nobody's per I mean, so many of us as we get older, you have more ugly, hairy, dark spots, spotchy, wrinkles, whatever that comes out. And nobody's perfect. And that her scars speak volumes is to her, to me, to her character and the type of person that she is, and she should hold her head up high. So the book is called A Brave Face, and Tiba, your beautiful face is on the cover and I had to blow the picture up to wrap my head around the fact that you were once terribly disfigured because the face that I see is so beautiful and the same eyes that captured your mama's heart, Barbara's heart. Man, those eyes are gorgeous, girlfriend, they go all the way to your soul. Thank you? All right? So, if somebody wants to get involved, plug into the Iraqi Children's Foundation, how do they do that? Well, the best thing is the five ks this summer and they could be part of Team Tiba. And if you just go to Iraqi children dot org or just google the Iraqi Children's Foundation, it'll come up. And if they want to be part of Team Tiba, we welcome everyone. And if they can't get to where that five K is, how could could they organize one in their school? They could, They could organize anything and all that money could go towards UM Team Tiba, or they can just make a donation and UM we would list them as a participant as part of Tiba's Team Tiba. What do you hope that you are able to do for other young people? I hope I am able to provide that encouragement and be that voice that's saying, hey, you can do this. You don't have to listen to that other voice saying you can't because there's nothing stopping you. And my mom has definitely me shown that. And I also hope, especially for young girls, UM, that when they look into the mirror, they're not saying twenty years from now, I want my flaws to disappear. I hope I can um make these girls realize nothing needs to change and that they're beautiful regardless. And although that's something I'm still learning, I'm very grateful for the experiences that have led me to being able to cope with that and say, hey, it's okay, all right, thank you for spending this time with me. You are both lovely. Thank you. Pray that many people pick up a brave face, and I pray that God just continues to open doors and use you both to impact the world for good. Okay, that's our goal, that's our mission. Thank you, Thank you. Barbara Marlowe had no special skills, no knowledge about Iraq, about I E. D. S. She had never parented children. She wasn't a mom, she didn't have any medical knowledge. She didn't know how to raise children, especially children who were disabled or wounded. But she fell into the eyes of a wounded little Iraqi girl photographed setting in her father's lap. The fact that she didn't have any skills, any knowledge, any information, any political clout did not stop her from deciding that she was going to try to do something to help Tiba. That July day she read about her in the newspaper. She did help her, and in doing so, discovered so much about herself, such as her own tenacity when faced with insurmountable obstacles, her ability to navigate complicated situations, and her capacity for loving. I'm so very inspired by their story told in their book A Bray Face, released by HarperCollins on March twelve. I know you will be to please pick up a copy today. I'm grateful that they shared their story and their time with us. Grateful too for my sponsor, the Home Depot, who made all of this possible. I hope today's episode of Love Someone inspired you, encouraged you to follow the whisper in your heart. Tell your friends about my podcast series Love Someone with Delilah and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform, and I will talk to you again real soon

Hello, my friends, Welcome back, Welcome to today's podcast episode of Love Someone with Delilah. I am so delighted to be able to have this extra bit of time with you. I love taking calls, but I would like to get a little deeper, to go a little deeper, to talk a little bit more about specific things or with specific people. And that is why we have our podcast series Love Someone. The whole purpose, my whole prayer, my whole reason for doing this podcast was that I wanted to talk to people who are changing this world for good. Some of those people are very famous. If you heard some of my last few podcasts, I talked to Michael BUBLEI, to m Tebow, to Josh Grobin. But some people, some of the podcast are just ordinary people who did extraordinary things. And that, my friend, is what today's podcast is all about. This conversation is sponsored by the Home Depot. They're so good at taking care of you when you need their help the most, Like when you step into your kitchen intent on baking with your oven, only to learn that the oven has decided it's baked its last pie and has permanently retired. Don't worry, the Home Depot has a large selection, and they're quick to provide free shipping. They open early and stay open late, and they know you may well spend a lot of time making your decisions, and they're perfectly fine with that. My friends at the Home Depot are the best. When you need a new appliance in your kitchen or anywhere in your home, think of the home, Pope. Have you ever felt a whisper in your heart, a voice, a feeling urging you to do something. Maybe you became overwhelmed by all the what ifs, the avalanche of details your brain tumbled at you. Today, I have the privilege of talking with two incredibly brave, incredibly beautiful, loving women, Barbara Marlowe and Tiba Ferrat Marlowe. They are the authors of the book A Brave Face, which was released on March twelve. Their story, as you're about to hear, is a fabulous testimony to my assertion that changing the world is a job best done one heart at a time. This story, Barbara's and Tiba's story, all started the grainy photograph in a newspaper and a whisper in Barbara's heart. Tell me the name of the book, and Barbara, what was birthed in you to write the book. Well, the name of the book is called A Brave Face and it is being published by Harper Collins. Loved the title, loved the picture on the front. Tiba, thank you. And the impetus for the book actually started many, many years ago. When Teba first got here. There was an article in People magazine in their Heroes among Us section, and at the time, the editor said, you know, this would make a great book. And so she put together a book proposal, and she submitted it to an agent in New York who also said, hey, this is a great book, but she's only been here one year. What's the rest of the story. There was no middle, and there was definitely leno and and so I kind of tabled it and I put everything away. And over the course of all these years now, repeatedly me and Tiba would always get people saying, Oh, this needs to be a book, this needs to be a movie, You need to write a book. And this went on and on and on, and I didn't think much about it until one day I was cleaning out some papers and I came across that original book proposal. So I pulled it out and I thought, you know, maybe I ought to revisit this because I keep hearing it over and over and over again. So I contacted the original agent and he said that he would still be interested in the story. And I had also contacted a local friend, Jennifer Curran, who is a writer and who really did a great story about Tib and I many years ago, and spoke to her about helping to put this book proposal together. And so she and I we did it, submitted it, and the agent in New York loved it because now our story actually comes full circle, and so there's a lot of emotional parts in it, and um, the next thing, you know, here we are, here you are, So Barbara, I go back to how it all began and and just paint the picture for me. When you and your hubby were sitting were you in your living room when you saw the TV coverage? Actually it was a newspaper article. My husband was going out to walk our dog and I picked up the newspaper and there on the cover was an article about children in a rack that needed multiple surgeries and they couldn't get them. And keep in mind, this was in two thousand and six. July six, two thousand and six specifically, and I was reading the article, and of course there was photographs, and I was completely captivated by this one little girl who was four years old at that time, sitting on her father's lap. And the article said that this little girl named Tiba, when she was nineteen months old, Uh, they had struck an I E. D. Bomb and it had severely burned her face, her head, and her and her hands and had killed her little precious three year old brother. And her eyes were so captivating to me, and I couldn't get him out of my head. And so I cut the article out and put it in my pocket, and I said, you know what, I have to try to do something to help her. And so the next day I emailed the correspondent and Bagdad and asked him, I just want to I just want to interject here and ask where were you, Barbara in life at that time? You were married, married. Uh, my husband has three grown children, so they were off and getting married and doing their own thing. They were starting their lives, and it was just my husband and I and I had no previous children of my own. Okay, So July six, two thousand and six, you see a little picture, how big was this photograph. Oh, the picture of her was maybe I don't know, three by three at the most, okay, and something connected your eyes saw that picture of her eyes, and something connected, and you decided that God was calling you to make a difference. Oh, I knew it. I knew it momentarily. And this is gonna sound very weird, um And sometimes you read about this happening to other people, but I really genuinely felt like the room had blacked out and all I could focus on was Tiba and those eyes. And I really felt that we had a connection in that picture. And at that moment, it was just one of those heart moments. You know, you just know this is what you're meant to do. And I never looked back, and I never even thought about what it was going to take to make it happen. But we just kept going forward and never stopped. So you see the picture, a little girl burned over, you know, most of her body. What was the first step that you took? Because she was an I rack. I mean, it's not like you can just pack your bags and go on vacation to Iraq and and look up this little girl and say, you know, you're very God aunt is here and I want to help you. Right well, I will say one thing though her her body was fine, it was just her face, her head in her hands. And I contacted I emailed the correspondent bagg dad, and I said, you know, if I can get her the help she needs, would you talk to the family because in the article itself it talked about her wanting to have a wig before she went to school, and her dad did say in the article he wanted to get her other help. And so the correspondent, of course, was surprised that I had even emailed him about it, because he had told Tiba's father when they did the original interview, don't expect anything, anything short of a miracle to have anybody tried to reach out, and so he was very surprised when I call, and I probably think he thought, well, maybe I was just, you know, trying to do something but wouldn't follow through. But I did, and I contacted all the people at Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital in Cleveland, and they had agreed that they would evaluate her. They couldn't commit to anything because I needed to see her. They were just looking at this photograph that I presented to them. Girlfriend, you are bold. I love your faith, I love your boldness. Gone. Yeah, I was very bold. I was bold, and I don't want to say demanding, but I was so self assured that this was going to happen. I just had no doubt in my mind and in my heart specifically. And there were little signs of things that came along the way, and if I may share a couple of those with you as we tell our story, but one of them was about six months in trying to get her here. It was so difficult trying to navigate through this political quagmire, and I kept thinking that nobody would say no to me, because who's going to resist helping her? Look at this little face, right, And so then I um, about six months into it, I'm still ending in my driveway and I am screaming at God. I'm blaming him for everything, and why aren't you helping me? And what good are you? And I'm just ranting like a crazy person. And then as I turned to come back in the house, I looked out and at my feet in the driveway is a golf ball marker. And I picked it up, and Delilah, when I turned it over, it said God loves you. And at that moment I knew, I mean, you just know, the hair stood up on my neck and on my arms, and I started to cry, and I just knew everything was going to be okay. And shortly thereafter there were certain pieces of the puzzle that fell into place, and they're all explained in the book. And the next thing, you know, I after a few more months and putting a few more puzzle pieces together, I get this phone call and they say, well, when do you want her? And I just dropped to my knees and I just sobbed. Oh my gosh, so did you keep that little um, that little golf ball marker? And it's a price possession. But the odd thing is that in my head when they said, well when do you want her, I'm like ticking off dates in my head and I'm thinking, Okay, we can't do the fourth of July because I don't want her to come here and hear fireworks and be afraid and bombs and all, you know, all just sorts of loud noises. So we picked a date and I didn't think anything about the date that we picked until probably about two years later, when it finally hit me that the day we picked was July six, two thousand seven, and she arrived exactly one year to the day that I read about her. I love that, love that, love that. So this little girl shows up, she's five now, and what hospital had agreed to UM see her. It's University Hospitals, Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital. So t But do you remember those first days when you first came to the US from Iraq? Yeah, I do remember it. Um. I remember kind of looking around thinking, oh, my goodness, this is crazy. My grandma, my dad's mother, came with me. She accompanied me on the trip um because she didn't want my mother to go since she was young and she didn't want her to travel alone with me. So my grandmother came with me. And we had spent a few like six months in Jordan's prior to coming to America. Then we landed in Cleveland, Ohio, and stayed with the Marlow's, who I now call mom and Dad. We stayed with them for a few nights and then slept at Ronald McDonald house for a while, and then I went back to the Marlow's house. Barbara, did you guys know at that time how long the process would be? Oh? Not at all. I believe that if you are confronted with the situation, sometimes if you look at the big picture and the magnitude of it, you won't take that first step. I'm so inspired talking with Barbara and her daughter Tiba today. Teba has grown from a little girl so badly wounded, so badly burned, who needed help, to a young woman who helps others. And the bond between this mother and daughter, the love between these women and Tiba's family, her biological family has grown to include so many people, communities, worlds apart. Thank you for joining me today, ladies and sharing your beautiful story. Yeah. When I was like five or just um getting ready to make the journey, I was told I was going to America for just a few short months because that's what my parents figured the surgeries would take. And when we got here, Dr cos Sain set us straight right away saying, oh no, this is going to take several several procedures and many years for recovery as well. So yeah, none of us were expecting it to be that long of a process. So going from that environment and that atmosphere and that culture and the food and your family and your mom and dad to coming home to the Marlow's. What was that like for your little five year old heart. Um, well, I definitely didn't understand the circumstances I was in. I was kind of just, you know, doing whatever my grandma told me, so I would just hold her hand and we'd walk through everything. But I remember walking into Marlow household and just my jaw dropped because I was like, what is this marble floor? This is crazy? And I remember the refrigerators and I know I was so scared to flush the toilets, and it was just a completely new world for me. And being five years old, it wasn't very hard for me to assimilate into that lifestyle because you know, it was interesting and fun and I was I was ready to participate in that. But for someone like my grandma, who was uch older and way more set in her ways, it was evident that she was just like uncomfortable the whole time because it was it was nothing like she was used to. And you can't even blame her for that, because she knew what she knew, and when it was time for her to go back, it was time, you know, because she was just so out of place here and that that had to be so stressful to want the best for you and want to be your guide and help you navigate that, and yet being completely out of your element like a fish out of water, not being able to breathe, but wanting the best for you, and not speaking and not speaking the language either. So, Barbara, how long into the relationship with Tiba and her grandma do you think she developed in us enough trust in you and your husband that she was able to let go of Tiba's hand and put her hand in yours, Like, was there a moment, was there a defining situation or something that happened where Grandma's soul was at peace knowing that she could trust you. I do recall that she was having a conversation with her son, Tiba's father, and the situation and Iraq was pretty dire, and she was very afraid of what was going on with her family, and in particular, she was trying to reach one son and she could never reach him. And her father said, at that point, you know, leave leave Teba and come home. She's safe, she's with the Marlowe's. It's all good. And maybe it was at that point. So, Barbara, how long was Tiba in your household before you finally realize that she's going to be here for a while. It was actually after that first doctor's appointment when he said years and years and years, and that's when her grandmother had that look up shock on her face and said, I can't stay here, I have to go. But um, the minute Tiba was in our home, our home changed. It was like a home before it was just my husband and I and we came and did whatever, and it was different. And Tiba brought something into my life in particular that I never had before, and that was the opportunity to mother her and to take care of her. And I just, I mean, I fell in love with that photograph before I ever met her. I fell in love with her before I ever met her, and it was just meant to be. And I remember her grandmother left and she's laying in bed, and keep in mind, this is a five year old who was just learning English, and she says to me in broken English, you know, mom, how come you never had any kids? And she says, well, my brother and your mother sent me to you to be your daughter. And I had, I mean I stared at her for a minute and that I had, that had to really resonate in me because I couldn't imagine what she was saying. And then I realized that her the accident was in two thousand three, and my mother died in two thousand three, so her brother died also of course then, and she's telling me that the two of them in heaven are sending her to me to be my daughter. And I just broke down because you start to like doubt yourself that you're looking into things that aren't there, but yet they are there, and you go round and round with with your faith. And one day Tiba was playing with these dolls, and everybody would bring her a doll, and she started to name them all. And one day she names them all Sarah and Anna, and I said, you know, how do you know those names, honey, where did you get those names? I don't know. I just like them. So I get this picture and I said, honey, these are my grandmother's Their names are Sarah and Anna, and I was closer to them than my parents. And yet those are the only two names that she picks out of the sky to name all of her dolls. All along the way, it sounds like God was giving you very clear signs Oh yeah, I'm very very clear, and her mother got some very clear signs too. So um, when we were able to, over the years have conversations about it, it was amazing how so many of the things that happened on her end inter wreck and that happened to me here were parallel. Hardest thing to give up, Barbara, when you became a mom to Teba, what was the hardest thing for you to transition going from the life that you knew before, Like you said, your house was a house, to it becoming a home with this precious little girl. Well, I was fifty two years old when Teba came, and so you would imagine that by then I'd be pretty set in my ways. But I have to tell you there wasn't anything that I had a hard time giving up. There wasn't anything that mattered more than her. And I mean I mean, if I had to like dig super super deep, I mean, yeah, maybe the ability to come and go freely wasn't there anymore, But that wasn't even a big deal because I really would have rather spent time with her than anybody else. You know. I tell her that of this day, I'd rather be with her than with anyone. I kind of set you up for that because i work with um kids in foster care and I'm always trying to encourage people to consider building a family through adopting kids out of foster care. And they come back with I can I'm forty, I'm forty five years old, I can't start now, And you just said the truth. The reality is it's a joy to make that sacrifice. You know, with Tiba, why would you want to miss on an opportunity to have someone like her in your life just because you think you're too old or you think you can't because they bring so much more to you. So, Tiba, you hear your mama bragging about you like this, how does that make you feel in your heart? To know that you have that kind of unconditional love behind you. It puts a smile on my face. And when I hear my mom Barbara say these things, I know also my mom back home is saying the same things because both my mother's they're very connected and they both show me so much unconditional love and it's something I'm I'll forever be grateful for because I know there are so many kids in this world that don't even have one mom and my heart breaks for them. But also I'm just counting my blessings because I got two moms that brag about me all the time, and it gets annoying sometimes, but I just because they love me. So annoying to know that they see all the good and all the value in me. Because you're not just uh, you're not a typical young woman. You're very ambitious, You're very well spoken. You do speaking engagements, and you have used uh your challenges to motivate other young people. What are share with our listeners some of the cool things Tiba that you've done. I mean, besides helping to write a book that I think is going to be a best seller. Yeah, so I did hope my mom write that book, but it's mostly her her book. Um, I've done, like you said, many speaking engagements for fundraisers or for just um public events that I've helped my mom out with. And um, I speak to encourage well. My goal is to encourage the children who are in situations that I know all too well. And so I'll speak for hospitals and whatever, and I get to tell the children, Hey, I know it's hard, but I beg you to hold on and I've also I'm a youth Youth Ambassador for the Iraqi Children Foundation, so my mom's part of that organization as well. But it helps these displaced children um in in Iraq that don't really have anywhere to go, don't have an education, and don't have any um legal help. So we've been able to speak behalf of them and help them. You know, one of the reasons I wanted to do a podcast in addition to my regular show is because I believe that everybody Barbara has that thing in their heart, regardless of where you live or what your faith is, there is something in our heart that wants to make the world a better place, a kinder place. But a lot of people are afraid to step out on faith and take that first step. A lot of people think I could never do this. And you looked at a picture in a newspaper and found the strength and the courage you and your your family to move forward confidently. Like you said, who could turn that that beautiful face down to to be proactive? What would you say to a person who's listening to this podcast right now, who might have a passion for children, for displaced children, for animals, for our environment. What would you say to them when that voice pops up in their heads and says, so you could you You could never do that? What do you say to them? I think that you don't have to maybe go across the country like I did, and this was my calling, Um, you could do something in your own community. Like I said, don't look at the big picture, look at what you can do immediately, and then it's not so overwhelming. But you can do it. And it doesn't always mean um, because we are not people of means by any stretch. So it doesn't mean that you have to have lots of money, but it's a gift of time and effort and holding somebody's hand and just being a voice for them or a voice for them that they can listen to. T But when you were younger, and you would look in the mirror and see, you know, what had happened because of the the I E ed and the burns. Did you ever imagine that you would be the face that encourages so many other young people. No? I was actually looking in the mirror and saying, twenty years from now, hopefully my scars will go away. And as I've gotten older, I realized that's just not something that's going to happen. It will never happen. But I've also come to realize that's not necessarily a bad thing, because, like you said, I can provide that solace and that help for other children and that encouragement that they need. So if I have to um be burdened, I guess with these scars, then okay, because at least it's benefiting other people. So it's okay if twenty years from now they're not disappearing. How many surgeries have you faced, Eva? Nineteen surgeries. Wow, she's so different now than when she had that first accident with some of these scars. You know, I've always told her nobody's per I mean, so many of us as we get older, you have more ugly, hairy, dark spots, spotchy, wrinkles, whatever that comes out. And nobody's perfect. And that her scars speak volumes is to her, to me, to her character and the type of person that she is, and she should hold her head up high. So the book is called A Brave Face, and Tiba, your beautiful face is on the cover and I had to blow the picture up to wrap my head around the fact that you were once terribly disfigured because the face that I see is so beautiful and the same eyes that captured your mama's heart, Barbara's heart. Man, those eyes are gorgeous, girlfriend, they go all the way to your soul. Thank you? All right? So, if somebody wants to get involved, plug into the Iraqi Children's Foundation, how do they do that? Well, the best thing is the five ks this summer and they could be part of Team Tiba. And if you just go to Iraqi children dot org or just google the Iraqi Children's Foundation, it'll come up. And if they want to be part of Team Tiba, we welcome everyone. And if they can't get to where that five K is, how could could they organize one in their school? They could, They could organize anything and all that money could go towards UM Team Tiba, or they can just make a donation and UM we would list them as a participant as part of Tiba's Team Tiba. What do you hope that you are able to do for other young people? I hope I am able to provide that encouragement and be that voice that's saying, hey, you can do this. You don't have to listen to that other voice saying you can't because there's nothing stopping you. And my mom has definitely me shown that. And I also hope, especially for young girls, UM, that when they look into the mirror, they're not saying twenty years from now, I want my flaws to disappear. I hope I can um make these girls realize nothing needs to change and that they're beautiful regardless. And although that's something I'm still learning, I'm very grateful for the experiences that have led me to being able to cope with that and say, hey, it's okay, all right, thank you for spending this time with me. You are both lovely. Thank you. Pray that many people pick up a brave face, and I pray that God just continues to open doors and use you both to impact the world for good. Okay, that's our goal, that's our mission. Thank you, Thank you. Barbara Marlowe had no special skills, no knowledge about Iraq, about I E. D. S. She had never parented children. She wasn't a mom, she didn't have any medical knowledge. She didn't know how to raise children, especially children who were disabled or wounded. But she fell into the eyes of a wounded little Iraqi girl photographed setting in her father's lap. The fact that she didn't have any skills, any knowledge, any information, any political clout did not stop her from deciding that she was going to try to do something to help Tiba. That July day she read about her in the newspaper. She did help her, and in doing so, discovered so much about herself, such as her own tenacity when faced with insurmountable obstacles, her ability to navigate complicated situations, and her capacity for loving. I'm so very inspired by their story told in their book A Bray Face, released by HarperCollins on March twelve. I know you will be to please pick up a copy today. I'm grateful that they shared their story and their time with us. Grateful too for my sponsor, the Home Depot, who made all of this possible. I hope today's episode of Love Someone inspired you, encouraged you to follow the whisper in your heart. Tell your friends about my podcast series Love Someone with Delilah and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform, and I will talk to you again real soon