Shame can quietly attach itself to your identity and keep you hiding from freedom, connection, and God. In this episode of Love Life Sober, Christy Osborne is joined by licensed psychotherapist Dr. Zoe Shaw, who unpacks complex shame, explains how it forms, and why it doesn’t simply disappear with understanding or good intentions.

Christy and Dr. Zoe explore the difference between guilt, simple shame, and complex shame, why many women internalize blame—even for things that happened to them—and how shame often shows up in faith and church spaces. They also discuss why shaming behavior never leads to heart change and what Scripture shows us instead.

If you’ve ever felt broken, disqualified, or afraid to be fully known, this conversation offers a compassionate, faith-centered path toward truth, healing, and freedom—without shame.

 IF YOU’VE EVER THOUGHT…
“I’m not just struggling… I’m broken.”
“If people really knew me, they wouldn’t love me.”
“My story disqualifies me from being close to God.”

Babe, this episode is for you 

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
The difference between guilt and shame—and why guilt can be healthy but shame never is
What simple shame looks like and why it often dissolves with compassion and “me too” community
What complex shame is and why it doesn’t disappear even when others understand your story
Why many women blame themselves for things that happened to them—and how that keeps shame tangled
How shame shows up in church spaces and why shaming behavior never leads to heart change
What Scripture reveals about how Jesus brings healing without shame
A gentle, practical first step for the woman who longs for freedom but feels afraid to be vulnerable

LINKS & RESOURCES

Dr. Zoe’s Book
Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame

Follow Dr. Zoe on Instagram
@drzoeshaw

Join the Love Life Sober Community

Join the Lent 40-Day Alcohol Fast

Order Christy’s Book
Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind

Connect with Christy on Instagram
@lovelifesoberwithchristy

⚠️ DISCLAIMER

The creators, hosts, and producers of the Love Life Sober podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological, or professional advice nor intend for the podcast or any Love Life Sober communication to substitute for such. Views and opinions expressed in any referenced or linked resources do not necessarily reflect those of the Love Life Sober team or guests.

Shame can quietly attach itself to your identity and keep you hiding from freedom, connection, and God. In this episode of Love Life Sober, Christy Osborne is joined by licensed psychotherapist Dr. Zoe Shaw, who unpacks complex shame, explains how it forms, and why it doesn&rsquo;t simply disappear with understanding or good intentions.
Christy and Dr. Zoe explore the difference between guilt, simple shame, and complex shame, why many women internalize blame&mdash;even for things that happened to them&mdash;and how shame often shows up in faith and church spaces. They also discuss why shaming behavior never leads to heart change and what Scripture shows us instead.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt broken, disqualified, or afraid to be fully known, this conversation offers a compassionate, faith-centered path toward truth, healing, and freedom&mdash;without shame.
&nbsp;IF YOU&rsquo;VE EVER THOUGHT&hellip;
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not just struggling&hellip; I&rsquo;m broken.&rdquo;</li>
<li data-start="1409" data-end="1461">&ldquo;If people really knew me, they wouldn&rsquo;t love me.&rdquo;</li>
<li data-start="1464" data-end="1517">&ldquo;My story disqualifies me from being close to God.&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
Babe, this episode is for you&nbsp;
WHAT YOU&rsquo;LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
<ul>
<li>The difference between guilt and shame&mdash;and why guilt can be healthy but shame never is</li>
<li data-start="1701" data-end="1801">What&nbsp;simple shame looks like and why it often dissolves with compassion and &ldquo;me too&rdquo; community</li>
<li data-start="1804" data-end="1899">What&nbsp;complex shame is and why it doesn&rsquo;t disappear even when others understand your story</li>
<li data-start="1902" data-end="2003">Why many women blame themselves for things that happened&nbsp;to them&mdash;and how that keeps shame tangled</li>
<li data-start="2006" data-end="2096">How shame shows up in church spaces and why shaming behavior never leads to heart change</li>
<li data-start="2006" data-end="2096">What Scripture reveals about how&nbsp;Jesus brings healing without shame</li>
<li>A gentle, practical first step for the woman who longs for freedom but feels afraid to be vulnerable</li>
</ul>
LINKS &amp; RESOURCES
Dr. Zoe&rsquo;s Book <a href="https://amzn.to/3Nm413n">Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame</a>
Follow Dr. Zoe on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drzoeshaw/?hl=en">@drzoeshaw</a>
<a href="https://lovelifesober.co.uk/community">Join the Love Life Sober Community</a>
<a href="https://lovelifesober.co.uk/the-fast">Join the Lent 40-Day Alcohol Fast</a>
Order Christy&rsquo;s Book <a href="https://lovelifesober.co.uk/book">Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind</a>
Connect with Christy on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lovelifesoberwithchristy/?hl=en">@lovelifesoberwithchristy</a>
⚠️ DISCLAIMER
The creators, hosts, and producers of the Love Life Sober podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, psychological, or professional advice nor intend for the podcast or any Love Life Sober communication to substitute for such. Views and opinions expressed in any referenced or linked resources do not necessarily reflect those of the Love Life Sober team or guests.

Love Life Sober is a Christian podcast for women questioning their relationship with alcohol and sensing God might have more for them beyond the wine glass.

Have you felt that nudge from God to put down the wine glass, but the thought of relaxing, having fun, or even coping with life feels impossible without it? Are you waking up each morning vowing not to drink tonight, only to find that by five p.m., all bets are off?

Love Life Sober is for sober and sober-curious women who love Jesus, or who are longing to reconnect with Him, and who know deep down that alcohol is no longer serving them.

Hosted by Christian sobriety coach and author Christy Osborne, author of Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind, this podcast blends Scripture, neuroscience, and practical coaching to help you understand what’s happening in your brain, your nervous system, and your heart, and how lasting freedom from alcohol is actually possible.

You’ll hear expert conversations and powerful testimonies for women exploring Christian sobriety, faith-based recovery, mindful drinking, and alcohol-free living. Each episode gently invites you to step away from wine and toward deeper connection with God, without shame, pressure, or the need to decide forever.

At the heart of Love Life Sober is a simple truth. Love, joy, peace, and connection were never meant to be found in a wine bottle. They are found in Jesus.

This is a grace-filled, shame-free space for women seeking freedom from alcohol through faith, neuroscience, and compassionate coaching. You don’t have to hit rock bottom. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through sobriety. And you don’t have to do this alone.

If you’re ready to loosen alcohol’s grip and live the life God is inviting you into, you’re in the right place.
Welcome to Love Life Sober. Want more? Visit lovelifesober.com. 

Love Life Sober is a Christian podcast for women questioning their relationship with alcohol and sensing God might have more for them beyond the wine glass.
Have you felt that nudge from God to put down the wine glass, but the thought of relaxing, having fun, or even coping with life feels impossible without it? Are you waking up each morning vowing not to drink tonight, only to find that by five p.m., all bets are off?
Love Life Sober is for sober and sober-curious women who love Jesus, or who are longing to reconnect with Him, and who know deep down that alcohol is no longer serving them.
Hosted by Christian sobriety coach and author Christy Osborne, author of <a href="https://lovelifesober.co.uk/book">Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind</a>, this podcast blends Scripture, neuroscience, and practical coaching to help you understand what&rsquo;s happening in your brain, your nervous system, and your heart, and how lasting freedom from alcohol is actually possible.
You&rsquo;ll hear expert conversations and powerful testimonies for women exploring Christian sobriety, faith-based recovery, mindful drinking, and alcohol-free living. Each episode gently invites you to step away from wine and toward deeper connection with God, without shame, pressure, or the need to decide forever.
At the heart of Love Life Sober is a simple truth. Love, joy, peace, and connection were never meant to be found in a wine bottle. They are found in Jesus.
This is a grace-filled, shame-free space for women seeking freedom from alcohol through faith, neuroscience, and compassionate coaching. You don&rsquo;t have to hit rock bottom. You don&rsquo;t have to white-knuckle your way through sobriety. And you don&rsquo;t have to do this alone.
If you&rsquo;re ready to loosen alcohol&rsquo;s grip and live the life God is inviting you into, you&rsquo;re in the right place. Welcome to Love Life Sober. Want more? Visit <a href="https://lovelifesober.com/">lovelifesober.com</a>.&nbsp;

Love Life Sober is a Christian podcast for women questioning their relationship with alcohol and sensing God might have more for them beyond the wine glass.  Have you felt that nudge from God to put down the wine glass, but the thought of relaxing, having fun, or even coping with life feels impossible without it? Are you waking up each morning vowing not to drink tonight, only to find that by five p.m., all bets are off?  Love Life Sober is for sober and sober-curious women who love Jesus, or who are longing to reconnect with Him, and who know deep down that alcohol is no longer serving them.

Love Life Sober

Untangling Complex Shame | Dr. Zoe Shaw

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/31894038-c67c-47de-b662-b3e00155792d/transcript