Content warning: This episode contains adult language and adult themes, including sexual coercion and emotional abuse. If you or anyone you know is facing these issues, help is available through RAINN, the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. Visit RAINN.org, or call their hotline: 800-656-HOPE.
In 2013, Jessica McDonald makes it to the National Women’s Soccer League, the most recent iteration of an American women’s pro league. The NWSL’s low pay is hard on players — particularly for single mothers like McDonald. However, when shocking allegations of abuse expose how misconduct runs rampant in a game perpetually struggling for legitimacy, uneven pay scales are revealed to be just one component of systemic gender inequality in soccer. Yet, as McDonald blocks out off-field issues by focusing on her game, the rest of the league can't help but notice her play.
Updated April 25 with comment from Paul Riley, and additional thoughts from McDonald.
New episodes coming each Tuesday, through May 17.
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Payback is hosted by Alex Andrejev. It's produced by Kata Stevens, Casey Toth, Julia Wall, and executive producer Davin Coburn. The executive producer for iHeartRadio is Sean Titone.
Long Shot is a production of McClatchy Studios and I Heart Radio. Welcome to Part six of Payback. I'm executive producer Davin Coburn. A listener. Note. In this episode, you'll hear quotes from former North Carolina Courage head coach Paul Riley. In late twenty one, former players of his alleged that Riley committed grossmisconduct in the women's game, including sexual coercion and emotional abuse. This episode includes descriptions of those allegations. Prior to those players speaking out, Jessica McDonald told our reporting team that Riley was a key figure in her professional development, so we spoke with Riley about McDonald as a team leader well before the allegations against him came to light. For months after those allegations were made, Riley did not respond to our attempts to interview him again. Recently, though we did hear from him, so we've updated this episode to include Riley's first public comments since those allegations. Flowing those allegations, we also spoke with McDonald again, and in this episode she'll share for the first time her experiences playing for Riley. And now back to your host, Alexandreev and Payback Part six. Previously on Payback, I got my first start and within minutes, probably in the most devastating moment of my entire life, when she came to me, I was looking at her, going, holy cow, we've got an uphill battle here. It's not uncommon to come back, but it's uncommon to come back as good or better than your world. I'm pregning with my son. I'm gonna be responsible for a whole another human being. Oh dear God, there's the nail of the coffin. All right, your mom, Now it's over. There's no way. This might be hard physically, but it's just as hard I think on all moms that are working. I didn't want to use my child as an excuse to not pursue the dreams that I had for myself. Welcome Live to an historic night for women's soccers, the inaugural match of the NWSL. By the middle of women's soccer would once again be finding a foothold in the American consciousness. That is it. That's a really quality ninety minutes. But in order to reflect on everything the sport has become, we have to jump ahead here for a moment, because what became clear during our reporting for this podcast is that while unequal pay is a fundamental component of gender inequality, there are other, far more traumatic ones as well, and we saw how a game perpetually scrambling to avoid dissolution became a breeding ground for predators. The National Women's Soccer League has suspended all of its weekend matches amid allegations of abuse, including sexual abuse of players by former coaches. In the last year. Explosive reports The Athletic and The Washington Post involving male coaches they're women's players and those responsible for protecting them prompted reevaluation of influential figures at all levels of the women's game. As North Carolina once again found itself at the center of the women's soccer world, the National Women's Soccer League faces a reckoning over charges that it ignored abuse of its players. Professional women's soccer is turned upside down after a shocking report that two women claim that their former coach his name is Paul Riley, abused them verbally and sexually. The players union demanding an into what it calls systemic abuse plaguing the NWSL. The Commissioner of the National Women's Soccer League has stepped down, following players from both teams arm in arm in the middle of the field. You can feel the weight of this moment for the players. Man, yea are the first people I'm talking about this with, but you know I have to talk about eventual. From the Charlotte Observer, Raleigh News An Observer, McClatchy Studios and iHeart Radio. This is payback. I'm Alexandrea and this is Part six Hanging by a thread. Well. The closest season ever in the Westfield w League culminated in a Grand Final between Melbourne Victory and Sydney of C. As Jessica McDonald made a name for herself in Australia, the US women's national team once again proclaimed their own dominance abroad. They roared through their Olympic qualifying tournament, winning all five games by a combined score of thirty eight to nothing. The US women's team would head to London for the Olympic Games looking for their third consecutive Olympic golds, but back at home, the outlook for women's soccer in the US was not as encouraging. After bruising three year run, the Women's Professional Soccer League officially folded, or maybe more accurately imploded. I remember the first women the little cup in any one, and so w s A launching was a big deal, the first women's league, and I knew the moment it launched, that's what I wanted to do. Megan Burke has been a true journey woman in American soccer. A star goalkeeper for St. Louis University in the early two thousands, Burke made history at the school as the first woman ever drafted by a pro sports league when she was selected by the Carolina Courage of the w u s A. That was the first attempt at a paid US pro women's soccer league. Then, once the w USA folded in two thousand three, Burke got another shot at professional soccer when WPS launched, But that second league also came crashing down and with it when Burke's playing career, when I think backed that moment, I remember this down of like a record screeching, like like it just felt like what what do you what do you mean? It's over? I don't even understand. Burke story is important here for a few reasons. For one, she actually played with Jess McDonald in WPS during Jessic's first in with the Chicago Red Stars. Burke's all the promise Jess brought to the game before that knee injury derail Jess's career. She just was someone who as a player, you notice on the field there was some magic sauce that she had. You know, it's light. Another reason burke story is important is that, like most women's soccer players in the United States, Bark never quite made the U S women's national team. Her soccer paychecks came exclusively from club teams. That meant her livelihood was directly tied to the sustainability of a women's pro league, which was completely outside of her control. Let's see, I coached. I I can't even remember all the jobs in the years between the w USA and WPS here in the US. Burke told me she took odd jobs while playing wherever she could, oftentimes overseas, just to keep her professional dreams alive. I would tell the marketing for three days, and I was terrible at it because I just couldn't handle the rejection. I guess um it was a landscaper. That was my favorite job. Oh, it was a highly unqualified gym teacher for like six months. They hired me because I was a soccer player and the kids love soccer. But ultimately, once the Second Women's League fell apart in two thousand twelve, Burke left her cleats behind and pursued a career in law. That's been a common story for so many women soccer players over the past few decades. My last game I've played September. I remember thinking that night I could do this forever, and yet that was my last game. I don't like calling it retiring. It is so deep in my blood that, like, I think I will always be a soccer player. But I finally when I was like I'm tired of the bullshit, it was like I have my dignity, I'm capable of a lot, and I don't need to be treated this way. In a key way, the collapse of WPS was similar to the downfall of its predecessor, the w U s A. Neither had any financial backing from the US Soccer Federation. Despite US Soccer using those leagues as training grounds for the players who filled the national team rosters. The w U s A and WPS operated essentially as startups, So when fan Attendant sagged and sponsors became harder to find. There was little financial margin for error. But there was one key difference between the demise of w USA and WPS, the abusive behavior toward women players by men in positions of power. Dan Boreslow leaves the good life. P banked millions when he took his venture talk dot com public pre bubble and now in late telecom magnate, Dan Borslow came thundering into WPS, buying the Washington d C team and relocating them to South Florida. Along the way, his bull in a China shop approach alienated WPS executives, fellow owners, and league sponsors. The WPS players Union filed a grievance with the league about Borslow's treatment of his players. In that grievance, Borslow's players accused him of bullying and threatening them. Players had he berated them for what he called shitty play and called them fucking idiots. They said he called owning their team charity, and that he told players to quote call me Daddy. Mike and Burke never played for Borslow, but she told me that during her time overseas, she had a similar experience with a women's Premier League team. Our team was pretty good that year, so we were top of the table in the Premiership and we're headed the FA Caps in my finals. Like a week or two later. Burke story involved her team soliciting charity donations much like Salvation Army bell ringers, in advance of the All English tournament, the f A Cup in England. That kind of fundraising is sometimes referred to as shaking buckets. Our club's management, they weren't particularly fond of the women's team. They came to us and said, well, you need to shake buckets to pay for your bus to London for the f A Cup semifinals, or we're not paying for it. But by the way, I want you to wear shorts because it will help you raise more money. Um. I don't remember ever being more livid in my soccer career. And also like I didn't know how to channel it. You know, we all talked to each other, but we showed up, you know, we wore pants, but we did it and it was humiliating and and infuriating frankly, and I didn't speak out when I was twenty four, you know. So there's a very clear need for labor gain in that context to have an advocate and someone who's looking out for you. In WPS, the league publicly admonished Borslow and then in terminated the South Florida franchise entirely. Borslow sued the league, and in the midst of the costly legal battle, the remaining team owners announced WPS would permanently suspend operations. That announcement came just months before those twelve Olympic Games, but the U S women's national team didn't miss a beat in London. They defeated Japan two to one in the gold medal match in front of more than eighty thousand fans, a new record for women's soccer at the Olympics. But by the summer of with no more league at home, it was unclear where many of those national team stars would play soccer next, or whether players like Jess McDonald could hope for any future for soccer careers in America at all. We'll be right back. Welcome live to an historic night for women's soccers, the inaugural match of the NWS. By the spring of a new league was created, the National Women's Soccer League, bankrolled in part by the top body in American soccer, that is it. That's a really quality ninety minutes. The NWSL was designed to have a five month long season, and team salary caps were only a fraction of what they had been in either of the earlier leagues. Why your salaries initially ranged from about six thousand dollars to roughly thirty thousand dollars incomes that were totally unlivable in most cities where those teams played. According to US Census Bureau data, in the Washington metro area, where one of the teams was located, the estimated median household income was roughly three times more than the league's maximum salary. Olympic medalists on that Washington team lived at a retirement community in the area. Other players lived with host families. But for the first time, the nws L had the financial backing of the US Soccer Federation. The national team players were allocated among the nws LS eight teams, and US Soccer paid their league salaries, So with US Soccer covering the cost of the highest paid names in the nbs L, teams could spend their remaining budgets on promising young players. We're veterans looking for a chance to prove they could still have an impact. Like Jess McDonald. This is in the spring at this point, coming off of the plane from Australia and Arnhum Whistler, the owner of Shica our Red Stars, calls me literally as soon as I landed. I'm like, how did you even know my flight information? I'm just getting back into the country. Five of those NWSL teams were holdovers from the prior WPS, including the Chicago Red Stars team that had once drafted Jess. Having just led the Melbourne Victory to their league finals in Australia, she was eager to be home with her young son, Jeremiah. I knew that he wasn't gonna remember me being gone. It was hard some days, but that was like the thing I was holding onto. It's like, thank God for Skype and in face time, you know what I mean, things like that, So that ship was on my shoulder. I couldn't do anything but trying and succeed. I hope you guys are set at home wherever you'll be watching the Chicago Red Stars television network. Jess signed back with the Red Stars as a free agent in She made nine appearances for the team and notched one assist I got limited playing time and was waved from the team mid season, but it was a start of a winding comeback that was equal parts extraordinary and extraordinarily frustrating. To be honest, I had no idea what to expect. Financially. We were struggling at the beginning with the USL and kind of hanging on by a thread. I got traded to six different teams in the first five years. That was really frustrating. Some new faces on this roster, and one will be in the starting lineup tonight playing up front. Jessica McDonald, a unique blend of size and speed. Days after being waived by Chicago, she was scooped up by the Seattle Rain. Left footed service in McDonald with a shot in the goal Jessica McDonald in her Rain debut, giving Seattle the one Neil lead. Just ended the year with Seattle tied for third on the team and goal scored. But after Seattle's lackluster season in which they won only five games of twenty two, ownership began cleaning house. I wanted to at her It's Portland's when I was coaching there. Here's Cindy Parlo Cone, former national team player in unc assistant coach with Jessic's championship teams. In a stroke of fate, or perhaps more so as a sign of how small the world of US women's soccer is, Parlo Cone had become the Portland Thorns head coach for their inaugural season. I knew what kind of teammates she is, and so I knew I wanted that on my team. She eventually joined the Portland Thorns later, which was great to see, but I didn't have the pleasure of coaching her as a pro. Cone would resigned from the Thorns after season to spend more time with her family, but Portland's soon made a trade to get the goal scorer from Seattle. Then before the season, with Cone having left, Portland brought another face into the clubhouse, a manager with a track record of success in the women's game named Paul Riley. I've been a women's side probably twelve years. I think something like twelve years full teen years, maybe a little bit longer. So I was coach men's soccer. I coach men youth college professionally, and then on the girl's side. I didn't do college on the other side, and then straight to the pros. We spoke with Riley earlier in our reporting for this podcast when he was head coach of the North Carolina Courage. Riley, who was from Liverpool, played professional soccer himself until Riley broke into coaching major women's professional soccer in two thousand nine, when the Philadelphia Independence named him head coach of their WPS franchise. He soon led that team to the WPS title game and became the league's Coach of the Year. I mean, the speed of the game on the men's side is fabulous. The adrenaline, strength, the power, all that stuff is great. But the tactical beauty of the women's game is something that I don't think everyone in this country yet appreciates. And I found him different, you know, I found him like better tactically, better listeners. It was a more naturing environment. It forced me to change my coaching philosophy. I've learned to collaborate, and I feel like women are better collaborating than the men's side. You know, the men's side will just go out and give him tactics and they'll just play anyone. They'll do whatever an earth they want normally, but the women that brilliant, disciplined intelligent. I think it literally, it's gonna be. How you lay it out is the way it's gonna be. After WPS folded, Riley too was looking for a way back into the elite women's game. When he got the Portland's job and saw that Jess was available from Seattle. It seems like the start of something great. So the Portland Thorns in front of over fourteen thousand of their fans in the driving rain and the thorns April home opener just scored two goals to secure the win. Jess McDonald breaking the tie with two late game goals and a huge victory for these Thorns. Jes went rampaging through the nbs AL that season, becoming one of the league's top scorers. Portland has definitely thrown his curveball. Instead of starting Alex Morgan, it's Christine and Sinclair and Jeff McDonald up chopped for the Thorns. In this July him against Chicago, Jess had her first record breaking moment in the end of BSL. We have Lorie collump me standing in the center circle in she gets asunder way. Three seconds later. At a quick start for the Portland Thorns in the first minute McDonald with the goal. At the time, it was the fastest goal in league history for Jess McDonald. That is her tenth goal of the campaign. But despite a breakout season in which Jess led the team in scoring Portland's center on her way in early Jess was traded to the Houston Dash in exchange for draft picks. Oh what a pass and what a finish by Jess McDonald. Season just led Houston in scoring McDonald towards the near post score and it's too long enugh. But then she was moved again a bargaining chip in a three team trade that landed her at the Western New York Flash. Jess was fast becoming the most underrated and perhaps undervalued player in the league. Had my son, and so you know, I'm scraping pennies every offseason. I was working full time jobs to our season was only six months out of the year. So what are we gonna do the next six months? For any player, cross country moves year after year could be maddening. I hope you guys are set at home wherever you'll be watching the Chicago Red Stars television network. Welcome to Starfire Stadium just south of Seattle, Aget a gorge. Portland has definitely thrown US curveball McDonald towards the neper post and it's too long. Jessin quietly married Jeremiah's father in hopes of providing a stable home for her son. I was making one three, I couldn't afford child care. I couldn't even afford a babysitter. But that marriage quickly unraveled. By the time she was traded to the Western New York Flash in early Just had become a trailblazer. There were days where by Sun be sitting in a stroller on the sideline at training by himself, without you know, anyone watching him, and that really sucked. And so I guess at that point, is Jeremy's dad like still involved with Yeah, he facetimes him very frequently. Yeah, Yeah, he lives in Arizona those so physically Nope, but I do try and get him out to Arizona as much as possible every year to spend time with him. Yeah. Even after breaking records in the end of USL Just hadn't been called up for a chance with the US national team. She was closing in on thirty years old, when most players best years are behind them to say nothing of her major knee surgery or motherhood. I was like, is this career even worth it anymore? National teams not happening. I am making nothing, you know? Am I doing everything I can for my son? Ultimately, Jess agreed to report to Rochester thanks largely to the coach who helped guide break out season with Portland Thorns, Paul Riley. Portland had chosen not to renew Riley's contract after the season, and he would be taking over for Western New York in And this is where our story takes a turn because late in my reporting for this podcast, soccer fans learned there's much more to Riley's arrival in Rochester, and the public's all firsthand. That's the stomach devaluation of women in soccer at all levels throughout the game goes far beyond their paychecks. The National Women's Soccer League faces a reckoning over charges that it ignored abuse of its players. Professional women's soccer is turned upside down after a shocking report that two women claim that their former coach his name is Paul Riley, abused them verbally and sexually. The players union demanding an end to what it calls the stemic abuse plaguing the NWSL. In an explosive report by Meglenahan of The Athletic, two former players of Riley's on the Portland Thorns said fairly and on a sham alleged that Riley had verbally and emotionally abused them in Portland, made sexual advances toward them, and had coerced fairly into sleeping with him to further her career. Those players said that some of Riley's alleged abuse had gone on for years, partly because there was an unspoken belief that the nd WUSL was the third try at professional women's soccer in the United States. The league was seen as the last fragile hope many of them had at a career playing the game they love. If a scandal like theirs had the potential to destroy their own futures, how long would they stay silent? Man, y'all are the first people I'm talking about this with, But you know I have to talk about eventually. Jess played Portland team. I spoke with her over Zoom after the news broke about Riley. Paul wasn't like the nicest of people to me when I was there, you know, Paul was such a good coach, but you know a lot of his comments would be very personal. Just told me she never all or was subjected to the sort of sexual abuse her teammates alleged in The Athletic. However, the article did mention an unnamed player mom on that team who was allegedly subjected to Riley's verbal assaults. It was brutal. You know, there was a point in time where he would be like, why are you playing like craps days because your son was up all night? Comments like that, And I'm okay with getting yelled at, and that's fine as an athlete, but like when it gets personal, you know, that's a little more gut wrenching. And so there were a lot of like personal comments coming at me. It was just awkward and I feel like I was walking on a shells when I was in Portland, but like this is my breakout season two. At the same time, everything outside of the soccer field, outside of games, it was just very uncomfortable. For months after those allegations were made, probably did not respond to our attempts to interview him again, but The Athletic a response from Riley which said that over the course of his career. Quote there's a chance that I've said something along the way that offended someone, but he insisted, quote I have never had sex with or made sexual advances towards these players. He said, the majority of these allegations were quote completely untrue. Then I heard from Riley himself in his first comments since that initial report. Riley told me, quote, I have a ton to say, but not ready yet. But when I do, I think it will be a forth right and honest insight into the state of women's soccer and the social political implications of the woke culture who find a huge audience in women's soccer. End quote. The coach athlete relationship is a very special one in terms of the impact one caring relationship with the coach figure can have on an athlete. Dr Nicole Lavoy is the director of the Tucker Center for Girls and Women in Sport. And so we cannot underestimate that the coach holds a lot of power in a good way, and oftentimes that's used in not a good way when it turns towards emotional, physical, psychological abuse. What we're seeing right now is that the female athletes who have visibility and power and popularity are using their platforms to advocate for themselves and that is unprecedented disruption in the space. The young women and the veteran women are using their platforms for social change in ways that we have never seen before. In our conversation, Lavoy wasn't referencing any specific report about abuses of power, but in the past two years, the NBUSL has provided a terrifying number to choose from. In Washington, d C. The Washington Spirits soccer team has been suspended by the National Women's Soccer League and their former head coach, Richie Burke has been fired and banned from working with any other players. In Salt Lake City, the Major League Soccer continues to investigate Royal Salt Lake and Utah Royals owner Delois Hanson for improper language and conduct. In New York, where Gotham FC dismissed manager Alias La Hu after an investigation that revealed violations to the league's anti harassment policy, the commissioner of the National Women's Soccer League has stepped down following allegations of misconduct. The resignation of the NWSL commissioner came in after the Paul Riley scandal broke, but Riley was hardly the only person in women's soccer alleged to have violated his player's trust final day seconds the five minute. He's not even the only one of justice. Former coaches in the University of North Carolina and several school officials, including coach ants and Lawrence were sued by two of his former players. The women played at UNC long before adjusted and alleged that at the time Dorens talked regularly about his players bodies and sex lives, which amounted to sexual harassment and therefore violated their Title nine rights to an equal education. They sought various remedies, including financial damages of twelve million dollars. Dorn's declined to comment on the allegations when I asked, but many years later UNC paid more than four hundred fifty thousand dollars to settle those two cases. As part of the settlement, one of the plaintiffs released a statement saying that quote neither Mr Dorance nor any member of the coaching staff for the UNC Chapel Hill women's soccer team made a pass at me or asked for a sexual relationship. Dorrence was enrolled in sensitivity training, and he issued an apology, acknowledging that he quote participated with members of the UNC Chapel Hill women's soccer team in group discussions of those team members sexual activities or relationships with men. He continued, I understand that my participation in those discussions was inappropriate and unacceptable. I talk a lot to those and positions of power in all levels of organized sport. Dr Lavoy again, and the conversations I have are usually one is to educate and create awareness. To then is how do you change the culture of your organization to one that values and supports women in a legitimate way, not just lip service, but real cultural change, And that starts at the top. If we don't get changed from the top down, real systemic change will never happen. So those are the conversations I end up having and will continue to have, unfortunately, because the change has been slow, uneven, or in some cases backwards. So what Jess and the general public didn't know in was that her reconnection Paul Riley in Western New York came from a dark place. Just a few months earlier, one of those Portland Thorns players interviewed in the Athletic had complained to team management about Riley's behavior. The Thorns recently acknowledged they conducted an internal review at the time and quickly decided not to renew Riley's contract. That's the reason he ended up coaching Jess again. During my early conversation with him for this podcast, Riley obviously didn't mention any of that. He just told us he was excited at the time to have Jess on his team. She has a lot of tools and a lot of pieces to us. She did well in Portland for us, obviously, and then she got traded to Houston. She's never forgiven me for that one. We traded to Houston. I don't even remember why or how what it was for, but she ended up going to Houston. And then obviously I left and came to Buffalo to Western New York, and by the time I got there, Jess was who already been traded to Western New York. Like, oh my god, Jeff McDonald's on the roster. I got a cool Jess because I want if she's still has something against me for trading them, but gold out HS, So I'll let you know. I took over the jump shoes. Oh my god, I'm so happy and I'm like, you know what, just so much. Anytime you bring a relationship back and I bring a player back, I'm like, man, yeah, there's just something. There's a connection. And when you have a connection with a player, they could be okay for one thing, but they could be great for you. And I have had that connection with obviously a lot of players over my lifetime, and I think Jess is definitely one of them for sure. Despite everything that happened in Portland, I was still willing to go, you know, be coached under him, and he accepted me more as a mom. He accepted my son was going to be around. Whereas when I was in Portland, I never brought my son around ever because I felt like I was walking on eggshells. You know. I didn't bring them on very many trips that season, Like I just I couldn't because I didn't feel comfortable doing so. But like Western yr Flash, it was just different. So I gave him credit for the impact he has had in my life. I just hate the bad parts. I just lost someone that was important in my life for seven years out of the ten I've been a pro. I was heartbroken for my friends because I played with Shannad and Mona. When I was in Portland's I just h we'll be back after this. The Western New York question Regorger Rochester for a seven game closed in and it kicks off to like a very special guest at midfield, Jill Ellis, that coach of the US women's national team in Talent getting ready for the camp later this week. We're gonna look at some of our players. By April, thatws L season was underway, and no matter how that year's club came together in Rochester, they came together for something special. We're just these underdogs, all these young people, and such an incredible year, one of the best years of my career. Just scored ten goals that season and recorded seven assists as the Flash became a team of destiny. We were so naive to soccer, I think, and like the success that we were gonna have in the journey we were going to go on. But we won that year. We had no business winning, but we did, and I think it's because of the love and the joy of the game. Lynn Williams was Justice's teammate on the Flash and was a star on the rise herself, thanks in part to justice leadership and her assists even for Lynn Williams getting the m v P, A lot of credit should be given to Jessica McDonald and just the partnership that they have had up there. Coach Paul Riley said it should be almost a joint one at least between those two, just because of the partnership. She had played for Paul in Portland before going to Houston, and she hadn't been bopping around a bit and she was such a huge part of us winning that year and in triple Peace to development in that year. Together, the duo led the Flash to the NWSL championship game and combined on the goal that may have changed the fate of the franchise and Jesse's future. Perhaps a chance for McDonald here she can catch up to the ball of all the students from just outside the top left corner of the Spirit penalty box. Jessaw Williams battling for space near the goal. McDonald, the seconds winding down, Oh my goodness, it's so it's time. You've got to be kidding me. The Flash went on to win the championship in a penalty shootout, and in that glow of winning yet another championship in her soccer career, Jess's old dream may not have felt so far out of reach anymore. I mean, Jessica has always been a topical scorer in the women's professionally. Dave Cameron is the men's soccer coach at Phoenix College. He was the one jess first confided in about wanting to make the US women's national team even if she recovered from heranger knee. She's working below minimum wage playing professional soccer and hopes to make that national team. To watch her go from Seattle Rain get traded to go to the Thorns. She breaks the scoring record, she's a Golden Boot champion, and she finds on Twitter she got traded. She's now at Houston Dash and Houston is hot and miserable and humid. It's not fun. And then she gets traded again, going whereever she had to go. She had to fine people to watch her son. I go watch Jessica play when she's playing for Seattle, and we're watching Jeremiah during the game and she's just like getting up like you're playing in like twenty minutes, and she's still struggling to find help because she didn't he can't afford it, and he she ket doing these things. Jess always had rare talent on the soccer field, but at the professional game, so did everyone. With teammate Lynn Williams having just won the league MVP Award, you could make a case Jess wasn't even the best forward on her own team, much less a prime candidate to make the national team. And now Jess had a son to care for. All her life, she'd been able to funnel off the field adversity into game time success, but once the season ended in October, the adversity was still there. I was packing boxes at Amazon for a while, which was after the Navy SO Championship with Western New York Flash, and I thought I was done playing. To be honest, had been with the national team, so that was the point of becoming a pro. My goal was to make the USA team, all right. I feel as if I'm too old at this point, and I accepted it because most people when they're in their first camp with the USA team, you're a teenager, early twenties college and here I am pushing thirty, which is unheard of. I look at Jess and I'm like, she has a son. I know other people in the league's have kids, and I'm like, how on earth is she going to support them? Jess as teammate Lynn Williams, I think I made ten thousand dollars my first year. I think the next year I was like I need a raise, and I got up to twelve thousand dollars. And at the time, going from ten to twelve, I was like, this is amazing. But looking back, I was like, how on earth did I even survive? But fate had a funny way of intervening that year. In those Olympics, the US women's national team had been stunned by Sweden and a quarterfinal loss, marking the first ever time that the US women did not meddle at the games. Following that loss, U S national team head coach Jill Ellis brought a collection of new faces to the team's year end training camp. Those camps last about a week and offer US team coaches a chance to evaluate new players who are effectively on a two year long tryout to make the next World Cup roster. In those new players at camp included Linn Williams. And then at the last minute, I get a text from Jill Ellis like, hey, like, I want to invite you into camp. Western New York's other star forward, and I was like, holy, grab my first national team camp when I was twenty eight years old at the time. Oh my gosh, Like finally, you know what I mean? Who waiting so long for this opportunity. On November, Jess McDonald made her debut for the U S women's national team, coming on at halftime and a friendly against Romania. Jess played forty five minutes of that match and took one shot on goal, a header that was stopped by the keeper. But Jess's relentlessness impressed Ellis the same way had impressed her youth coaches that are college coaches, that are professional coaches. This is an evaluation camp, and our players have been on a bit of a break. Joe Ellis spoke with reporters in early about the new players getting a look from her coaching staff. The balance for US season, we want to test ourselves and you know some of the things that we've been working on, and yeah, some of these players, you've got to see them against the top two years, So it's it's a two year journey this moment. Jess was invited back to national team training camps in early but didn't log any playing time in US matches that spring. She made a good impression on the coaches, clearly, but that didn't guarantee her future with the team. And privately, even her biggest fans understood what a long shot that was to be on the national team on the women's side, that's a big ticket. Dave Cameron, again, that was kind of a secret diverse because like if you have some crazy goal, and that be honest, that's a crazy goal. A lot of people would make fun of her. I don't know how to explain it, Like no one believed it. And on part seven of Payback, society has made people feel like being vulnerable about being a mom is bad when it shouldn't be that way at all. We need to know our history, who we come from, where we come from, where we've been, and where we want to go. I went up to Paul Riley and I was like, what do you think my chances are? And he was like, Jess, I just I don't see happening ahead for mcdattal who Carolina is the nineties? Second minute, I get a text from Joel Elis right after the game, I might be going into camp. I'm Alexandrea Payback is a production of The Charlotte Observer, Raleigh News and Observer, McClatchy Studios, and I Heart Radio. It's produced by Cotta Stevens, Casey Toth, Julia Wall, and Davin Cockburn. The executive producer for iHeart Radio is Sean ty Toone. For lots more on this story and to support journalism like this, visit Charlotte Observer dot com slash payback or News Observer dot com slash payback and for more podcasts for my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.