This week, I share about the 4th Perfect Virtue of Buddhism - Equanimity.

We've made it, guys! In this episode I unpack a definition of equanimity that I found quite comprehensive and that illustrates the essence of equanimity nicely. 

"Equanimity is neither a thought nor an emotion, it is rather the steady conscious realization of reality's transience. It is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love. While some may think of equanimity as dry neutrality or cool aloofness, mature equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being. The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as "abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will.”

If this definition confuses you, don't worry. It confused me too! Listen to the full episode to find out more about what it means to be equanimous.

SUPPORT THE PODCAST ON PATREON

I offer these podcasts freely, and any way you can support makes all the difference. To keep this podcast alive and well, show your support where you can! 

Get in touch with Stephanie

www.stephaniebovis.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!

www.listeningwellpodcast.com

This week, I share about the 4th Perfect Virtue of Buddhism - Equanimity.
We've made it, guys! In this episode I unpack a definition of equanimity that I found quite comprehensive and that illustrates the essence of equanimity nicely. 
"Equanimity is neither a thought nor an emotion, it is rather the steady conscious realization of reality's transience. It is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love. While some may think of equanimity as dry neutrality or cool aloofness, mature equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being. The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as "abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will.”
If this definition confuses you, don't worry. It confused me too! Listen to the full episode to find out more about what it means to be equanimous.<a href="https://patreon.com/ListeningWellPodcast"></a>
<hr>
<a href="https://patreon.com/ListeningWellPodcast">SUPPORT THE PODCAST ON PATREON</a>
I offer these podcasts freely, and any way you can support makes all the difference. To keep this podcast alive and well, show your support where you can! 
Get in touch with Stephanie
<a href="http://www.stephaniebovis.com">www.stephaniebovis.com</a> | <a href="http://www.instagram.com/listeningwellpodcast">@listeningwellpodcast</a>
Thank you for Listening Well!
<a href="http://www.listeningwellpodcast.com/">www.listeningwellpodcast.com</a>

Welcome to the Listening Well Podcast, a space where I explore the many different facets that comprise the wellness industry with the intention to transform our chaos into clarity.

I'm Stephanie Bovis, a certified yoga and meditation teacher living in Singapore, with over 1000 hours dedicated to various avenues of practice. I am also a live event emcee, host, and voice-over artist, and thus have culminated my different career paths to birth this baby of mine, the Listening Well Podcast.

Through my own reflections and conversations with some pretty special people who have dedicated their lives to their own craft, I have found a healing space in my life. I hope that you too find a nugget or two of wisdom that can support your own journey too.

The path of self growth is messy, beautiful, and constantly on-going, and I am so happy to be here with you wherever you are on your journey.

Get in touch with Stephanie

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!

Welcome to the Listening Well Podcast, a space where I explore the many different facets that comprise the wellness industry with the intention to transform our chaos into clarity.
I'm Stephanie Bovis, a certified yoga and meditation teacher living in Singapore, with over 1000 hours dedicated to various avenues of practice. I am also a live event emcee, host, and voice-over artist, and thus have culminated my different career paths to birth this baby of mine, the Listening Well Podcast.
Through my own reflections and conversations with some pretty special people who have dedicated their lives to their own craft, I have found a healing space in my life. I hope that you too find a nugget or two of wisdom that can support your own journey too.
The path of self growth is messy, beautiful, and constantly on-going, and I am so happy to be here with you wherever you are on your journey.
Get in touch with Stephanie
<a href="http://www.listeningwellpodcast.com/">www.listeningwellpodcast.com</a><a href="http://www.stephaniebovis.com"></a> | <a href="http://www.instagram.com/listeningwellpodcast">@listeningwellpodcast</a>
Thank you for Listening Well!

Listening Well Podcast

Well hello there - I'm Stephanie Bovis and welcome to the Listening Well podcast, a space where I explore the different avenues of wellness with the aim to transform chaos into clarity in this crazy adventure we call Life. Alongside my own musings, I speak to amazing experts in their field, whose advice can help us live with a little more ease.

The path of self growth is messy, beautiful, and constantly on-going, and I am so happy to be here with you wherever you are on your journey.

Well hello there - I'm Stephanie Bovis and welcome to the Listening Well podcast, a space where I explore the different avenues of wellness with the aim to transform chaos into clarity in this crazy adventure we call Life. Alongside my own musings, I speak to amazing experts in their field, whose advice can help us live with a little more ease.
The path of self growth is messy, beautiful, and constantly on-going, and I am so happy to be here with you wherever you are on your journey.

The Fourth Perfect Virtue - Equanimity

In every relationship, there are three entities to consider. There is yourself, your partner, and the relationship as a whole.

This conversation was so enlightening with Dr. Oberdan, as we explored the importance of getting to know one's Self, and how that extrapolates into the health of a relationship with another. Sharing your life with someone is a constant dance, and as continuously evolving creatures we always have to give and take, push and pull, and do so effectively with the help of effective communication. Easier said than done, of course! But as Dr. O so eloquently articulates, getting to know one's Self is first and foremost the most important thing.

Dr Oberdan Marianetti is a UK-trained psychologist with a US doctorate in Clinical Sexology and combines over two decades of international experience. First as an in-house psychologist for financial institutions where he was the Global Head of the Learning and Organisational Development team at the peak of his career and then as an independent professional.Having successfully transitioned in and out of the corporate world twice, he is well-versed in navigating and understanding the challenges of modern life from both ends of the spectrum.

In 2015, Dr Marianetti pursued his calling and opened his first clinic in Singapore to serve the local community, focusing on relationship and sexuality challenges.

Dr Marianetti’s trailblazing spirit extends beyond his field of work. Continually driven by a thirst for knowledge and innovation, he remains on a perpetual quest for new theories, approaches, and techniques, all aimed at finding more impactful ways to assist his clients in rediscovering their inner power and purpose.

To find out more about Dr. O's retreats, VISIT THIS LINK!

Episode Highlights:
Dr. O’s explanation of the Self and the importance of getting to know yourself
The 3 Core Types of Self
Getting to know your own dashboard
How to know when you’re veering off path and how to better listen to the alerts/signs that come from within
How conditioning prohibits us from connecting to the Self
The importance of connection as a predictor of success, longevity, health etc.
The three entities in a relationship (me, you, us)
The equation: Familiar = Safe and how this equation shows up in our relationships
Having awareness of your own triggers/patterns, and being curious of your partner's
What are the barriers to couples that are "stuck" in their marriage/relationship
Should couples stay together just for the kids?
The importance of course correcting when couples are in conflict
Working on your Self is not selfish, it is altruistic!

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!

In every relationship, there are three entities to consider. There is yourself, your partner, and the relationship as a whole.
This conversation was so enlightening with Dr. Oberdan, as we explored the importance of getting to know one's Self, and how that extrapolates into the health of a relationship with another. Sharing your life with someone is a constant dance, and as continuously evolving creatures we always have to give and take, push and pull, and do so effectively with the help of effective communication. Easier said than done, of course! But as Dr. O so eloquently articulates, getting to know one's Self is first and foremost the most important thing.
Dr Oberdan Marianetti is a UK-trained psychologist with a US doctorate in Clinical Sexology and combines over two decades of international experience. First as an in-house psychologist for financial institutions where he was the Global Head of the Learning and Organisational Development team at the peak of his career and then as an independent professional.Having successfully transitioned in and out of the corporate world twice, he is well-versed in navigating and understanding the challenges of modern life from both ends of the spectrum.
In 2015, Dr Marianetti pursued his calling and opened his first clinic in Singapore to serve the local community, focusing on relationship and sexuality challenges.
Dr Marianetti’s trailblazing spirit extends beyond his field of work. Continually driven by a thirst for knowledge and innovation, he remains on a perpetual quest for new theories, approaches, and techniques, all aimed at finding more impactful ways to assist his clients in rediscovering their inner power and purpose.
To find out more about Dr. O's retreats, VISIT THIS <a href="https://bit.ly/3T6nxQm">LINK!</a>
Episode Highlights:
<ul>
<li>Dr. O’s explanation of the Self and the importance of getting to know yourself</li>
<li>The 3 Core Types of Self</li>
<li>Getting to know your own dashboard</li>
<li>How to know when you’re veering off path and how to better listen to the alerts/signs that come from within</li>
<li>How conditioning prohibits us from connecting to the Self</li>
<li>The importance of connection as a predictor of success, longevity, health etc.</li>
<li>The three entities in a relationship (me, you, us)</li>
<li>The equation: Familiar = Safe and how this equation shows up in our relationships</li>
<li>Having awareness of your own triggers/patterns, and being curious of your partner's</li>
<li>What are the barriers to couples that are "stuck" in their marriage/relationship</li>
<li>Should couples stay together just for the kids?</li>
<li>The importance of course correcting when couples are in conflict</li>
<li>Working on your Self is not selfish, it is altruistic!</li>
</ul>
Get in touch with Stephanie:
<a href="http://www.listeningwellpodcast.com/">www.listeningwellpodcast.com</a> | <a href="http://www.instagram.com/listeningwellpodcast">@listeningwellpodcast</a>
Thank you for Listening Well!

Understanding Our Self In Relationships with Dr. Oberdan Marianetti

This episode may get your heads scratching if you're tuning in from a society that has very specific relationship dynamics and arrangements in place. My curiosity to how other's live their lives and what they deem as healthy for their relationships has never been higher, as I am in the process of becoming the best partner and friend myself.

In this episode, I speak to Akil Apollo Davis, a full-time Performing Artist & Theatre Professor of Mask and Art Aesthetic. He has been a unique and influential presence in New York City’s performance, educational and cultural avant-garde for 2 decades. We discuss the ins and outs of this thing called Sex Positivity. And to give you a brief idea, sex positivity is a social and cultural movement that promotes an affirmative and open attitude towards all aspects of sexuality. It encourages individuals to embrace and explore their own sexual desires, preferences, and identities without judgment or shame. Sex positivity emphasizes the importance of consent, communication, and respect in sexual relationships.

He has trained with Monks in Thailand, Brahmans in Bali, Witches in New York, and has worked with Psychologists to bridge the gaps between esoteric knowledge and classical paradigms.

Akil’s Karmic mantra: there must be more light.

Episode Highlights
Meet the one and only Akil
How he went from celibacy to monogamy to discovering consensual non-monogamy
Akil's understanding of attachment and fear in relationships
The establishment of monogamy
Accessing your healthy sexual energy
The tiers of being non-monogamous, and the importance of communication on your wants and needs
Emotional maturity
Real life examples on how non-monogamy works
The ins and outs of play parties
The downsides of sex positivity/monogamy
Compersion - a new word to remember

Resources, courtesy of Akil:Sex-Positivity for Curious Minds

1.“The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
2.“Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski
3.“Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá
4.“Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino
5.“What Makes a Baby” by Cory Silverberg (for all kinds of families)
6.“Queer: A Graphic History” by Meg-John Barker and Julia Scheele
7.“The New Topping Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
8.“The New Bottoming Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
9.“Girl Sex 101” by Allison Moon and KD Diamond
10.“Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer
11.“Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century” by Barbara Carrellas
12.“Sex God Method” by Daniel Rose
13.“The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life” by Margo Anand 

Psychological and Emotional Work for Curious Minds
1.“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk
2.“The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse” by Wendy Maltz
3.“Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma” by Staci Haines
4.“Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha” by Tara Brach
5.“The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship” by Don Miguel Ruiz
6.“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson
7.“More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
8.“Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy” by Irvin D. Yalom
9.“Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex—and How to Get It” by Marty Klein 

Improving Your Sex Life
1.“She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner
2.“The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know” by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams
3.“The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge” by Tristan Taormino
4.“The Multi-Orgasmic Woman: How Any Woman Can Experience Ultimate Pleasure and Dramatically Enhance Her Health and Happiness” by Mantak Chia and Rachel Carlton Abrams
5.“The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: How Couples Can Dramatically Enhance Their Pleasure, Intimacy, and Health” by Mantak Chia, Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams
6.“The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover” by David Deida
7.“Guide to Getting It On: Unzipped” by Paul Joannides, Psy.D.
8.“Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man” by Ian Kerner 

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

Thank you for Listening Well!

This episode may get your heads scratching if you're tuning in from a society that has very specific relationship dynamics and arrangements in place. My curiosity to how other's live their lives and what they deem as healthy for their relationships has never been higher, as I am in the process of becoming the best partner and friend myself. In this episode, I speak to Akil Apollo Davis, a full-time Performing Artist &amp; Theatre Professor of Mask and Art Aesthetic. He has been a unique and influential presence in New York City’s performance, educational and cultural avant-garde for 2 decades. We discuss the ins and outs of this thing called Sex Positivity. And to give you a brief idea, sex positivity is a social and cultural movement that promotes an affirmative and open attitude towards all aspects of sexuality. It encourages individuals to embrace and explore their own sexual desires, preferences, and identities without judgment or shame. Sex positivity emphasizes the importance of consent, communication, and respect in sexual relationships.
He has trained with Monks in Thailand, Brahmans in Bali, Witches in New York, and has worked with Psychologists to bridge the gaps between esoteric knowledge and classical paradigms.
Akil’s Karmic mantra: there must be more light.
Episode Highlights
<ul>
<li>Meet the one and only Akil</li>
<li>How he went from celibacy to monogamy to discovering consensual non-monogamy</li>
<li>Akil's understanding of attachment and fear in relationships</li>
<li>The establishment of monogamy</li>
<li>Accessing your healthy sexual energy</li>
<li>The tiers of being non-monogamous, and the importance of communication on your wants and needs</li>
<li>Emotional maturity</li>
<li>Real life examples on how non-monogamy works</li>
<li>The ins and outs of play parties</li>
<li>The downsides of sex positivity/monogamy</li>
<li>Compersion - a new word to remember</li>
</ul>
Resources, courtesy of Akil:Sex-Positivity for Curious Minds
1.“The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships &amp; Other Adventures” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy 2.“Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski 3.“Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá 4.“Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino 5.“What Makes a Baby” by Cory Silverberg (for all kinds of families) 6.“Queer: A Graphic History” by Meg-John Barker and Julia Scheele 7.“The New Topping Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy 8.“The New Bottoming Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy 9.“Girl Sex 101” by Allison Moon and KD Diamond 10.“Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer 11.“Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century” by Barbara Carrellas 12.“Sex God Method” by Daniel Rose 13.“The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life” by Margo Anand  Psychological and Emotional Work for Curious Minds 1.“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk 2.“The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse” by Wendy Maltz 3.“Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma” by Staci Haines 4.“Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha” by Tara Brach 5.“The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship” by Don Miguel Ruiz 6.“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson 7.“More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert 8.“Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy” by Irvin D. Yalom 9.“Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex—and How to Get It” by Marty Klein  Improving Your Sex Life 1.“She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner 2.“The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know” by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams 3.“The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge” by Tristan Taormino 4.“The Multi-Orgasmic Woman: How Any Woman Can Experience Ultimate Pleasure and Dramatically Enhance Her Health and Happiness” by Mantak Chia and Rachel Carlton Abrams 5.“The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: How Couples Can Dramatically Enhance Their Pleasure, Intimacy, and Health” by Mantak Chia, Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams 6.“The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover” by David Deida 7.“Guide to Getting It On: Unzipped” by Paul Joannides, Psy.D. 8.“Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man” by Ian Kerner 
Get in touch with Stephanie:
<a href="http://www.listeningwellpodcast.com/">www.listeningwellpodcast.com</a> | <a href="http://www.instagram.com/listeningwellpodcast">@listeningwellpodcast</a>
Thank you for Listening Well!

All About Sex Positivity with Akil Apollo Davis

"Wise mind" is a concept often used in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. It refers to a state of mind where an individual integrates both emotional and rational thinking processes in order to lead to better decision-making and emotional regulation. In DBT, wise mind is considered the optimal mental state for making decisions and coping with life's challenges, and through my DBT journey and learning and integrating more of wise mind in my interactions, it has completely transformed my life in more ways than one.

The idea behind wise mind is that there are three primary states of mind: emotional mind, rational mind, and wise mind. Emotional mind is dominated by emotions, while rational mind is dominated by logical thinking. Wise mind is the balance between the two, where emotions are acknowledged and considered alongside rational thought.

Don't get me wrong I don't always get it right. I often get overwhelmed by certain choices and decisions and it is then that I feel my emotion mind come in. But like with everything, it's a journey. My goals are to make decisions that are both logical and emotionally healthy, and it all starts with a little mindfulness, baby.

I hope you enjoyed this episode, and thanks so much for Listening Well!

Get in touch with Stephanie:

www.listeningwellpodcast.com | @listeningwellpodcast

"Wise mind" is a concept often used in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. It refers to a state of mind where an individual integrates both emotional and rational thinking processes in order to lead to better decision-making and emotional regulation. In DBT, wise mind is considered the optimal mental state for making decisions and coping with life's challenges, and through my DBT journey and learning and integrating more of wise mind in my interactions, it has completely transformed my life in more ways than one.
The idea behind wise mind is that there are three primary states of mind: emotional mind, rational mind, and wise mind. Emotional mind is dominated by emotions, while rational mind is dominated by logical thinking. Wise mind is the balance between the two, where emotions are acknowledged and considered alongside rational thought.
Don't get me wrong I don't always get it right. I often get overwhelmed by certain choices and decisions and it is then that I feel my emotion mind come in. But like with everything, it's a journey. My goals are to make decisions that are both logical and emotionally healthy, and it all starts with a little mindfulness, baby.
I hope you enjoyed this episode, and thanks so much for Listening Well!
Get in touch with Stephanie:
<a href="http://www.listeningwellpodcast.com/">www.listeningwellpodcast.com</a> | <a href="http://www.instagram.com/listeningwellpodcast">@listeningwellpodcast</a>

The Fourth Perfect Virtue - Equanimity

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