Lifelun Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

Lifelun Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.

Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.

Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Ononker. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is therapy Thursday. Well, do you know what a real spanner has been thrown in the works because normally we record on a Wednesday, but it's a Tuesday, a spicyle Tuesday, the day before Valentine's Day, so you know, really keeping your guess, and do you know Valentine's Day comes around really quick and I feel like we only just spoke about it yesterday. To me, No, to me, I feel like last year was the longest year of my life. Why is that? I don't know.

Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Ononker. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is therapy Thursday. Well, do you know what a real spanner has been thrown in the works because normally we record on a Wednesday, but it's a Tuesday, a spicyle Tuesday, the day before Valentine's Day, so you know, really keeping your guess, and do you know Valentine's Day comes around really quick and I feel like we only just spoke about it yesterday. To me, No, to me, I feel like last year was the longest year of my life. Why is that? I don't know.

But when I think back of what was happening this time last year, it honestly could be another lifetime ago.

But when I think back of what was happening this time last year, it honestly could be another lifetime ago.

Do you think that's because you did Dancing with the Stars last year, so like you damn for like two months, so that changes your life. I was training, Yeah, you were actually training and then you never did anything again. Literally, I have not exercised since Dancing with the Stars. I did Dancing with the Stars, and I exercised so much. I'm talking six hours a day. I was a rig. It was great. You were ripped. You looked by the time, I mean, I could see it slowly progressing over the dancing, and by the time we went to watch you dance, I was like, this looks like a super model. I had like a six pack, the longest legs I've ever seen history. You were like a daddy long legs. I'm like, how do this dancing work? No, it just lifted my ass, my had It removed my ass from being on the back of my knees and brought it back up. No, and then you know, we got a peloton. Have been doing that, but now it's kind of a bit of a close horse. At the moment. You sporadically peloton. I sporadically peloton. But I'm trying to make it more like, well, no, because that was my news resolution. I was like, I did the lame news resolution, guys. I was like, hashtag fitness year of health. Then you nearly die and then I got pneumonia, and I was so good. For the first week of January. I was like, Oh, I'm going to be so fit, and then I fell off the bandwagon and I haven't clambered my way back on yet. So that's really quiet, you know, spiraling out of control. Seem we're going to be in December and nothing's going to have happened. I still think you're doing okay, but I remember so Valentine's Day, so yes, we're recording this the day before Valentine's Day. I'm one of those people that's really annoying, right, Like I don't care about Valentine to do with Valentine's Day. I don't like it, don't love it. But then also, yes, I want a present, like like, I don't believe in Valentine's Day. But if someone was like, I would like to get your present for Valentine's Day, I'm not gonna say no, right, but if I didn't get one, it wouldn't offend me, if that makes sense. No, I think that's a lie. I think you know no, I think you say I didn't get ben anything for Valentine. I genuinely do not care about Valentine's Day one iota, but I love getting gifts so any day of the week you want to send me a gift, I'm never gonna say no, but I will not be offended if I didn't get anything on Valentine's Day? What if you didn't get a phone call or a card or nothing. And Ben just completely steamrolled through. I think he was dead. He calls me twice a day every day. If he didn't call me on Valentine'sda, I'd be like, Okay, he's died in his sleep or something. But last year it made me laugh. So last year on Valentine's Day, I don't think I told you guys this. Ben and I were still pretty new. When I say pretty new, actually four months but only like two months officially from when we actually knew each other, but four months from when we no, like three months, like not even you met in December three months yeah, cook, whatever, But I only went over in December New Years So yes, it was very fresh. It was probably only under two months. So it was at that point where like you're obsessed with each other and you want to impress each other all the time, and like you just whatever. You're in the honeymoon phase. And that was amplified by the fact that it was long distance. Anyway. Last year, on the Valentine's Dy episode, we did like your Worst Valentine's Day Gifts. That's what we talked about in the podcast, and producer Keisha and I were car pulling to work and that's when speaking to Ben on the phone and I said, Hey, Ben, we're talking about worst Valentine's Day gifts becuse it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Have you ever had one? Like, I'm trying to get some more, gather some more information, have you ever had one? And he's like, to be honest, he's like, I've never really had a Valentine's Day gift, so I guess I haven't had a bad one. And I said have you ever given a bad one? And he was like, no, I don't think so I think I nail it. And then he asked me and he's like what about you? And Kish like, have you guys ever had bad ones? Or what do you think? Keisha and I went into this rampage of what gives us the ick for a Valentine's Day present and we were like teddy bears, Like for me, it's a no, don't give a teddybar on Valentine's Day. You do that when you're twelve years old. I feel like we've passed that adults don't need a teddy Bear on Teddy Bears or an instant dick. I agree.

Do you think that's because you did Dancing with the Stars last year, so like you damn for like two months, so that changes your life. I was training, Yeah, you were actually training and then you never did anything again. Literally, I have not exercised since Dancing with the Stars. I did Dancing with the Stars, and I exercised so much. I'm talking six hours a day. I was a rig. It was great. You were ripped. You looked by the time, I mean, I could see it slowly progressing over the dancing, and by the time we went to watch you dance, I was like, this looks like a super model. I had like a six pack, the longest legs I've ever seen history. You were like a daddy long legs. I'm like, how do this dancing work? No, it just lifted my ass, my had It removed my ass from being on the back of my knees and brought it back up. No, and then you know, we got a peloton. Have been doing that, but now it's kind of a bit of a close horse. At the moment. You sporadically peloton. I sporadically peloton. But I'm trying to make it more like, well, no, because that was my news resolution. I was like, I did the lame news resolution, guys. I was like, hashtag fitness year of health. Then you nearly die and then I got pneumonia, and I was so good. For the first week of January. I was like, Oh, I'm going to be so fit, and then I fell off the bandwagon and I haven't clambered my way back on yet. So that's really quiet, you know, spiraling out of control. Seem we're going to be in December and nothing's going to have happened. I still think you're doing okay, but I remember so Valentine's Day, so yes, we're recording this the day before Valentine's Day. I'm one of those people that's really annoying, right, Like I don't care about Valentine to do with Valentine's Day. I don't like it, don't love it. But then also, yes, I want a present, like like, I don't believe in Valentine's Day. But if someone was like, I would like to get your present for Valentine's Day, I'm not gonna say no, right, but if I didn't get one, it wouldn't offend me, if that makes sense. No, I think that's a lie. I think you know no, I think you say I didn't get ben anything for Valentine. I genuinely do not care about Valentine's Day one iota, but I love getting gifts so any day of the week you want to send me a gift, I'm never gonna say no, but I will not be offended if I didn't get anything on Valentine's Day? What if you didn't get a phone call or a card or nothing. And Ben just completely steamrolled through. I think he was dead. He calls me twice a day every day. If he didn't call me on Valentine'sda, I'd be like, Okay, he's died in his sleep or something. But last year it made me laugh. So last year on Valentine's Day, I don't think I told you guys this. Ben and I were still pretty new. When I say pretty new, actually four months but only like two months officially from when we actually knew each other, but four months from when we no, like three months, like not even you met in December three months yeah, cook, whatever, But I only went over in December New Years So yes, it was very fresh. It was probably only under two months. So it was at that point where like you're obsessed with each other and you want to impress each other all the time, and like you just whatever. You're in the honeymoon phase. And that was amplified by the fact that it was long distance. Anyway. Last year, on the Valentine's Dy episode, we did like your Worst Valentine's Day Gifts. That's what we talked about in the podcast, and producer Keisha and I were car pulling to work and that's when speaking to Ben on the phone and I said, Hey, Ben, we're talking about worst Valentine's Day gifts becuse it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Have you ever had one? Like, I'm trying to get some more, gather some more information, have you ever had one? And he's like, to be honest, he's like, I've never really had a Valentine's Day gift, so I guess I haven't had a bad one. And I said have you ever given a bad one? And he was like, no, I don't think so I think I nail it. And then he asked me and he's like what about you? And Kish like, have you guys ever had bad ones? Or what do you think? Keisha and I went into this rampage of what gives us the ick for a Valentine's Day present and we were like teddy bears, Like for me, it's a no, don't give a teddybar on Valentine's Day. You do that when you're twelve years old. I feel like we've passed that adults don't need a teddy Bear on Teddy Bears or an instant dick. I agree.

I lent in and said, it feels really infantile, like it makes me feel like a child, and that's a weird dynamic with someone you want to have sex like.

I lent in and said, it feels really infantile, like it makes me feel like a child, and that's a weird dynamic with someone you want to have sex like.

I went hard. Yeah, so we were going hard, right, and I was like, ill, why would you do that? I would never let a man inside me after he's giving me a Teddy Bear. Then I also said the other thing I don't get. Why do people send flowers in a box? Fucking box? Boxed flowers like a box. Send them with the stems. You can put me in a vase. No one wants a big box with a boat sitting around their house. I disagree. I think that the box and I don't want anything in a box. That's not what I'm saying. But the box protects them. I think it actually is. It's meant to be for a reason. In the post, you want to in your box? No no, no sorry, how to box to get in my box? No no, no, no no sorry. I don't mean a box that protects roses. Like you've got long stem roses that comes in a box. I mean it's a tiny box and the stem of the flowers is like five centimeters and you don't take the flowers out of the box into a vase. They just live in the box. I know exactly what you're talking about.

I went hard. Yeah, so we were going hard, right, and I was like, ill, why would you do that? I would never let a man inside me after he's giving me a Teddy Bear. Then I also said the other thing I don't get. Why do people send flowers in a box? Fucking box? Boxed flowers like a box. Send them with the stems. You can put me in a vase. No one wants a big box with a boat sitting around their house. I disagree. I think that the box and I don't want anything in a box. That's not what I'm saying. But the box protects them. I think it actually is. It's meant to be for a reason. In the post, you want to in your box? No no, no sorry, how to box to get in my box? No no, no, no no sorry. I don't mean a box that protects roses. Like you've got long stem roses that comes in a box. I mean it's a tiny box and the stem of the flowers is like five centimeters and you don't take the flowers out of the box into a vase. They just live in the box. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Like the little box for the little yes, like they're vertical standing, the little white box that goes on the bottom and all the flowers are sitting.

Like the little box for the little yes, like they're vertical standing, the little white box that goes on the bottom and all the flowers are sitting.

It's just like half a box. It's not a box flower. They've got that like mesh stuff that you stab the stem. Yeah, yeah, and they stay there.

It's just like half a box. It's not a box flower. They've got that like mesh stuff that you stab the stem. Yeah, yeah, and they stay there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know what that's called. So for me, it was box flowers, right, don't get the point a teddy bears. Yeah. And then on top of that, as a joke, it's not the end of the world, but like you know, sometimes roses still trigging me. Okay, went on the Bachelor, got dumped on National TV. Whatever. So Keisha and I are going hardcore to Ben on the phone, talking about how much we have the X of these things, and then, bless his soul, he doesn't say anything. He's like, oh, oh interesting, And then the next day on Valentine's Day to my house, which was already pre ordered, turns up a box, a box of roses in the shape of a giant teddy bear. He couldn't script it. You would not script it. Everything I had said in one and when Keisha and I are going hardcore to him in the phone, he knew that that's what he had ordered. He was like, oh my god. I just thought it was a funny thing. Could have been satire. He could have been like, what could I get Britt that would really trigger her? And I felt genuinely terrible. That's why I didn't talk about it last year in the podcast, because I was like, I feel so bad. But now he and I laugh about it all the time, so I think it's funny. I was still very appreciative of the present. I just felt horrific that I was like, I just told this guy all these three things that I hate and he sent them to me. But he'll never make that mistake. Can I tell you what else happened? I convinced him that I loved it, right, and I'm talking to this dude. It's about half a meter tall. It's a big rosed teddy bed box thing. Fucking cute. Anyway, So I put it on the counter and I'm like, I feel like I can't wait for them to die. Yeah, so I was like, I absolutely love it. Anyway. A week goes past and I've thrown them out and he goes, show me the flowers. How are they going? I said, oh, babe, I'm so sorry. I just threw them out today because they died, and he goes, that's interesting. I said why, and he goes, oh, because they said that they preserved them for three months. They're flowers that are like cut and sprayed so that they don't die. And I was like, no, they definitely wil to get your money back. We sound okay, we sound ungriev I know that's what I'm saying.

I don't know what that's called. So for me, it was box flowers, right, don't get the point a teddy bears. Yeah. And then on top of that, as a joke, it's not the end of the world, but like you know, sometimes roses still trigging me. Okay, went on the Bachelor, got dumped on National TV. Whatever. So Keisha and I are going hardcore to Ben on the phone, talking about how much we have the X of these things, and then, bless his soul, he doesn't say anything. He's like, oh, oh interesting, And then the next day on Valentine's Day to my house, which was already pre ordered, turns up a box, a box of roses in the shape of a giant teddy bear. He couldn't script it. You would not script it. Everything I had said in one and when Keisha and I are going hardcore to him in the phone, he knew that that's what he had ordered. He was like, oh my god. I just thought it was a funny thing. Could have been satire. He could have been like, what could I get Britt that would really trigger her? And I felt genuinely terrible. That's why I didn't talk about it last year in the podcast, because I was like, I feel so bad. But now he and I laugh about it all the time, so I think it's funny. I was still very appreciative of the present. I just felt horrific that I was like, I just told this guy all these three things that I hate and he sent them to me. But he'll never make that mistake. Can I tell you what else happened? I convinced him that I loved it, right, and I'm talking to this dude. It's about half a meter tall. It's a big rosed teddy bed box thing. Fucking cute. Anyway, So I put it on the counter and I'm like, I feel like I can't wait for them to die. Yeah, so I was like, I absolutely love it. Anyway. A week goes past and I've thrown them out and he goes, show me the flowers. How are they going? I said, oh, babe, I'm so sorry. I just threw them out today because they died, and he goes, that's interesting. I said why, and he goes, oh, because they said that they preserved them for three months. They're flowers that are like cut and sprayed so that they don't die. And I was like, no, they definitely wil to get your money back. We sound okay, we sound ungriev I know that's what I'm saying.

There will be someone listening to this who's like, I would love to receive a Teddy Bear and some flowers, and I know I get it, so I look, you want you soon's yum.

There will be someone listening to this who's like, I would love to receive a Teddy Bear and some flowers, and I know I get it, so I look, you want you soon's yum.

Some people would get off on a Teddy Bear and box flowers and that's fine, but for me, it's my undis are on with that. Yeah.

Some people would get off on a Teddy Bear and box flowers and that's fine, but for me, it's my undis are on with that. Yeah.

Also, sorry to the florists who make them. I know that you've had a very very busy day yesterday and you work very hard.

Also, sorry to the florists who make them. I know that you've had a very very busy day yesterday and you work very hard.

Yeah, this is true. I have nothing against florists. It's not about that. You go where the demand takes you. If people are buying Teddy Bears, you get the Teddy Bears box. If people want a box, you get a box.

Yeah, this is true. I have nothing against florists. It's not about that. You go where the demand takes you. If people are buying Teddy Bears, you get the Teddy Bears box. If people want a box, you get a box.

We're just saying, you know, maybe like a little bit more of like an organic shape to my flowers. Okay, my issue is here.

We're just saying, you know, maybe like a little bit more of like an organic shape to my flowers. Okay, my issue is here.

We go.

We go.

This is the last one, and then I'll stop with the flower bashing. Artists don't like a rounded posy. I don't want like a perfectly round top of a posy, like a little bit of an organic shape, get constructed. Throw some I don't know, so very hard to please. That's saying that it's the thought that counts. I really believe that. So while it's not something that I would have picked ever in my life, in the history of my life, I still appreciated that he sent me something and thought of me. So it's like, of course, you know, to dislike. It's like when people get an engagement ring that they hate. Like We've had so many people running and being like, I hate my engagement ring what I do, But obviously I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings. It's the same thing. It's the thought that you want to marry me, and you went out and picked this and you love it, that you're going to have to put up with it. No.

This is the last one, and then I'll stop with the flower bashing. Artists don't like a rounded posy. I don't want like a perfectly round top of a posy, like a little bit of an organic shape, get constructed. Throw some I don't know, so very hard to please. That's saying that it's the thought that counts. I really believe that. So while it's not something that I would have picked ever in my life, in the history of my life, I still appreciated that he sent me something and thought of me. So it's like, of course, you know, to dislike. It's like when people get an engagement ring that they hate. Like We've had so many people running and being like, I hate my engagement ring what I do, But obviously I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings. It's the same thing. It's the thought that you want to marry me, and you went out and picked this and you love it, that you're going to have to put up with it. No.

See my debate with this though, and I genuinely mean this as someone who makes engagement rings as a living like you know, and I work with couples to make them. The reason why I don't agree with that is because often it's not the thought. They're not being thoughtful.

See my debate with this though, and I genuinely mean this as someone who makes engagement rings as a living like you know, and I work with couples to make them. The reason why I don't agree with that is because often it's not the thought. They're not being thoughtful.

They're picking a ring that they like, not realizing or not knowing anything about their partner's style, or even worse, We've had people come in and be like, she likes this, but I prefer this, so I'm going to pick this, And I'm like, you know what an engagment ring is in the time for you to flex your style muscle. Yeah, And that's why I think sometimes when people get it so deeply wrong, it's actually the opposite to the thought that counts. It's the thoughtless present that makes you feel as though your partner doesn't know you. I feel like, if it's the wrong color metal, that's really a red flag. They're down on one knee and you wear gold and they've got white gold or the reverse. That would be a little bit of a question. I still stick by this.

They're picking a ring that they like, not realizing or not knowing anything about their partner's style, or even worse, We've had people come in and be like, she likes this, but I prefer this, so I'm going to pick this, And I'm like, you know what an engagment ring is in the time for you to flex your style muscle. Yeah, And that's why I think sometimes when people get it so deeply wrong, it's actually the opposite to the thought that counts. It's the thoughtless present that makes you feel as though your partner doesn't know you. I feel like, if it's the wrong color metal, that's really a red flag. They're down on one knee and you wear gold and they've got white gold or the reverse. That would be a little bit of a question. I still stick by this.

I think sometimes that you don't have to be grateful for every single gift that you get given. If it is a thoughtless gift, that's all. And I'm not saying that you should be ungrateful for being thought of, But sometimes it's the lack of thought. It's the like we said on Tuesday's episode, it's the people buying flowers at four pm on Valentine's Day and it's like whatever's left over at Woolies.

I think sometimes that you don't have to be grateful for every single gift that you get given. If it is a thoughtless gift, that's all. And I'm not saying that you should be ungrateful for being thought of, But sometimes it's the lack of thought. It's the like we said on Tuesday's episode, it's the people buying flowers at four pm on Valentine's Day and it's like whatever's left over at Woolies.

That's not a thoughtful gift. Just give nothing in that case, speaking from the person who gave nothing this year so forever. Anyway, let's do our vibes and unsubscribes. What have you been vibing this week? So my vibe this week is a Netflix show, but it's also has been made into a book and it is a true story, and I've also listened to podcasts on it now. I listened to podcasts on it a long time ago, and I know I recommend the old podcasts crossover to Netflix a lot, but I genuinely enjoy a show once I know a story better, and I love to see it now. It's called Society of the Snow. I don't know if you guys have heard about it. Absolutely brilliant. It is about I don't know if you remember hearing this. It is about the plane crash in the Andes Mountains in nineteen seventy two that had twenty thirty people on it. There were all school age kids and had some teachers. Now this true story. Obviously, it crashed into the Andyes' Mountains and it's the story of survival in literally the harshest, coldest, most horrific conditions. So some of them died straight away, and about sixteen of them survived, and nobody could find them for a ridiculously long time, and they ended up having to eat each other. I remember this story. This is so awe cool. Yeah, So they've made it into a show that was brilliantly done. So Society of the Snow. The way it tells the story, I think they did it in a really respectful way. Like when you think about it, people lost their lives and their friends really did eat them to survive. It's a horrific story. But I think that the way that this was filmed and directed and produced did a really really good job, producer, Keisha, What do you got this week?

That's not a thoughtful gift. Just give nothing in that case, speaking from the person who gave nothing this year so forever. Anyway, let's do our vibes and unsubscribes. What have you been vibing this week? So my vibe this week is a Netflix show, but it's also has been made into a book and it is a true story, and I've also listened to podcasts on it now. I listened to podcasts on it a long time ago, and I know I recommend the old podcasts crossover to Netflix a lot, but I genuinely enjoy a show once I know a story better, and I love to see it now. It's called Society of the Snow. I don't know if you guys have heard about it. Absolutely brilliant. It is about I don't know if you remember hearing this. It is about the plane crash in the Andes Mountains in nineteen seventy two that had twenty thirty people on it. There were all school age kids and had some teachers. Now this true story. Obviously, it crashed into the Andyes' Mountains and it's the story of survival in literally the harshest, coldest, most horrific conditions. So some of them died straight away, and about sixteen of them survived, and nobody could find them for a ridiculously long time, and they ended up having to eat each other. I remember this story. This is so awe cool. Yeah, So they've made it into a show that was brilliantly done. So Society of the Snow. The way it tells the story, I think they did it in a really respectful way. Like when you think about it, people lost their lives and their friends really did eat them to survive. It's a horrific story. But I think that the way that this was filmed and directed and produced did a really really good job, producer, Keisha, What do you got this week?

So on Sunday night, I went to the basketball to see the Hawks play the Kings, and I sent you guys a photo while I was there of someone that I was lucky enough to meet, and neither of you knew who he was.

So on Sunday night, I went to the basketball to see the Hawks play the Kings, and I sent you guys a photo while I was there of someone that I was lucky enough to meet, and neither of you knew who he was.

I knew he was a basketballer, but I didn't know who he.

I knew he was a basketballer, but I didn't know who he.

Was, but I wrote what and then I was like, that covers everything that comes what I don't know who this is, and also like what, that's crazy.

Was, but I wrote what and then I was like, that covers everything that comes what I don't know who this is, and also like what, that's crazy.

I was like, just.

I was like, just.

So when we were sitting in the second row and all of a sudden, this really tall person sat down in front of me, so I couldn't seem much and initially I was like, yeah, I can't see the game. And it took me about three seconds until I was like, wait a second, Holy shit, is that live lonely?

So when we were sitting in the second row and all of a sudden, this really tall person sat down in front of me, so I couldn't seem much and initially I was like, yeah, I can't see the game. And it took me about three seconds until I was like, wait a second, Holy shit, is that live lonely?

And the reason that I was so excited is because Keisha really likes tall men, which she likes basketball, and she likes men who are disproportionately large to her. That's actually yeah, they go. She likes me at the height of their dick. She's like, you have to be seven foot plus because I'm five. My days, so we'll be back.

And the reason that I was so excited is because Keisha really likes tall men, which she likes basketball, and she likes men who are disproportionately large to her. That's actually yeah, they go. She likes me at the height of their dick. She's like, you have to be seven foot plus because I'm five. My days, so we'll be back.

In twenty twenty, when The Last Dance went huge on Netflix, it was all about the Chicago Bulls and it focused a lot on Michael Jordan.

In twenty twenty, when The Last Dance went huge on Netflix, it was all about the Chicago Bulls and it focused a lot on Michael Jordan.

So there was another player in that team who was quite behind the scenes.

So there was another player in that team who was quite behind the scenes.

But you know the people behind the scenes that are actually very, very impactful to the success of any team. Luke was one of those people. So he played throughout the nineties. He was there for their three consecutive championships. He was their starting center, so he was one of the main players, and he grew up in Fremantle in Western Australia. In the Netflix docuseries of The Last Dance, he wasn't featured. You can see him in little cutaway shots, and as it turns out, there were quite a few people that were a little bit miffed about this, and I think Luke may have even been quite personally disappointed that he wasn't included in the docuseries or anything about him wasn't really a part of it. So Australian Story, the ABC program that do docuseries on really impactful Australians, did this two part series on him in twenty twenty two, and I had seen it and it's.

But you know the people behind the scenes that are actually very, very impactful to the success of any team. Luke was one of those people. So he played throughout the nineties. He was there for their three consecutive championships. He was their starting center, so he was one of the main players, and he grew up in Fremantle in Western Australia. In the Netflix docuseries of The Last Dance, he wasn't featured. You can see him in little cutaway shots, and as it turns out, there were quite a few people that were a little bit miffed about this, and I think Luke may have even been quite personally disappointed that he wasn't included in the docuseries or anything about him wasn't really a part of it. So Australian Story, the ABC program that do docuseries on really impactful Australians, did this two part series on him in twenty twenty two, and I had seen it and it's.

Called Luke Longley One Giant Leap.

Called Luke Longley One Giant Leap.

Part one is thirty two minutes and Part two is thirty four minutes, so it's not very long. But what was quite interesting about it is that they got interviews from both Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. Australian Story don't pay anyone to come on the program, and we're talking about Michael Jordan, like this guy doesn't do anything for lesson like a hundred million dollars, like he's worth a lot of money, and he gave a thirty minute interview for free to the Australian broadcaster for Australian Story. So yeah, my recommendation for this week is the two part series on Abciview, which is the app I checked last night. It is still available. It is really really good. It shows how Luke was such a different player. He was the first Australian to ever play in the NBA. He wasn't this really competitive, gritty person. He's quite a calm and collected and warm person and he still is that person. I mean, I met him on Sunday for the first time and I just thought he was such a lovely man, a real gentle Giant and that was in massive contrast to how Michael Jordan wanted the team to operate, so they didn't always get on, they didn't always see.

Part one is thirty two minutes and Part two is thirty four minutes, so it's not very long. But what was quite interesting about it is that they got interviews from both Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. Australian Story don't pay anyone to come on the program, and we're talking about Michael Jordan, like this guy doesn't do anything for lesson like a hundred million dollars, like he's worth a lot of money, and he gave a thirty minute interview for free to the Australian broadcaster for Australian Story. So yeah, my recommendation for this week is the two part series on Abciview, which is the app I checked last night. It is still available. It is really really good. It shows how Luke was such a different player. He was the first Australian to ever play in the NBA. He wasn't this really competitive, gritty person. He's quite a calm and collected and warm person and he still is that person. I mean, I met him on Sunday for the first time and I just thought he was such a lovely man, a real gentle Giant and that was in massive contrast to how Michael Jordan wanted the team to operate, so they didn't always get on, they didn't always see.

Eyther to eye.

Eyther to eye.

And so if you liked the Last Dance and you want to know about the Australian who contributed to it, it's on YouTube and it's on ABC iView.

And so if you liked the Last Dance and you want to know about the Australian who contributed to it, it's on YouTube and it's on ABC iView.

Well, I have another thing for you to watch.

Well, I have another thing for you to watch.

So you guys are getting a lot of TV time, like everyone, doctor your screen time. This week I watched the new documentary that's out on Netflix. It is called Love a Stalker Killer. It is fucking brilliant. So it's all around a man in the States who was stalked by a lover. It goes over many years. It's so thrilling and there are so many aspects to this and I think you don't ever really hear about female stalkers because statistically it is not as common. But this had such a profound impact on his life.

So you guys are getting a lot of TV time, like everyone, doctor your screen time. This week I watched the new documentary that's out on Netflix. It is called Love a Stalker Killer. It is fucking brilliant. So it's all around a man in the States who was stalked by a lover. It goes over many years. It's so thrilling and there are so many aspects to this and I think you don't ever really hear about female stalkers because statistically it is not as common. But this had such a profound impact on his life.

And obviously, as you can tell from the title Love a Stalker Killer, you are left questioning throughout the series as to whether.

And obviously, as you can tell from the title Love a Stalker Killer, you are left questioning throughout the series as to whether.

There is or isn't a murder involved. And when I say series, it's actually just one episode it's a fascinating story. It really had us on the edge of our seats, and I just put it on because it was like there. I was like, oh, that's the next thing Netflix is recommending, and did not expect to be.

There is or isn't a murder involved. And when I say series, it's actually just one episode it's a fascinating story. It really had us on the edge of our seats, and I just put it on because it was like there. I was like, oh, that's the next thing Netflix is recommending, and did not expect to be.

As absolutely hooked as what I was.

As absolutely hooked as what I was.

It is brilliant and I would say put that at the very top of your list if you're wanting to watch something this week, because it has just come out and fucking wild.

It is brilliant and I would say put that at the very top of your list if you're wanting to watch something this week, because it has just come out and fucking wild.

It is on my list because I've seen it, keeps recommending it to me, I'll watch that it also. I mean, I think in terms of what I found fascinating about this is like, you know, sometimes you think about stalkers and you think, surely that they would lose steam, right Like, surely over time something more important would come up in their life. And I think for me, the thing that I just couldn't it was almost unbelievable, was the layers and the levels to which this person went to over so many years, like it had become their fixation to ruin his life. It's a very very sad story, but it's so incredibly well done the storytelling of it. Question number one. Last night, I had a dream about another guy. Nothing particularly scandalous happened, but I felt guilty, so I told my boyfriend about it. It upset him quite a bit. Is he overreacting? Or is it better to not tell your partner about a dream involving another guy. Don't tell him. Don't fucking tell.

It is on my list because I've seen it, keeps recommending it to me, I'll watch that it also. I mean, I think in terms of what I found fascinating about this is like, you know, sometimes you think about stalkers and you think, surely that they would lose steam, right Like, surely over time something more important would come up in their life. And I think for me, the thing that I just couldn't it was almost unbelievable, was the layers and the levels to which this person went to over so many years, like it had become their fixation to ruin his life. It's a very very sad story, but it's so incredibly well done the storytelling of it. Question number one. Last night, I had a dream about another guy. Nothing particularly scandalous happened, but I felt guilty, so I told my boyfriend about it. It upset him quite a bit. Is he overreacting? Or is it better to not tell your partner about a dream involving another guy. Don't tell him. Don't fucking tell.

Okay, if you are getting reamed in your dreams, do not wake up and roll over and say, hey, honey, oh my god's so wild. I feel a bit guilty about this, but I was.

Okay, if you are getting reamed in your dreams, do not wake up and roll over and say, hey, honey, oh my god's so wild. I feel a bit guilty about this, but I was.

A dream function last night. I was fucking David in my sleep last night. Don't tell someone that, because all that does is it breeds insecurity. Is that maybe you're thinking about them in real life, which obviously we all know that dreams and your real thoughts don't have to correlate. Like I've had sex with many people in my dreams that I would literally never have sex within my real life. But like, sometimes you can't control, your brain just goes there and then you wake up in the morning you're like, that was weird. Do I have a crush on them? No? I don't. Oh, thank god, I don't really sex dream a lot, don't you nu? Nuh? And it's funny. The only sex dream I've had was with a female friend ages ago, and I wasn't breath and I and I woke up feeling so awkward. And I hadn't even seen that friend in a while. So dreams are weird. But what would you do if you'd had a sex dream about me? Would to quit? Would you tell me? Or would you not tell me? I couldn't look at you that I'd have to do the podcast looking over here at the wall. I mean, we've spoken about my laber so much the last episode. I would feel surprised it hasn't happened yet. I feel viscerally uncomfortable if I had to dream about sex. What if you had to dream about sexy? And Okay, I'm pretty good. Actually I know, I know, I know, I know, I have no doubt. I have no doubt, but I know what I'm doing in the Saclaura. It would be like having said, Okay, let's go back to the question. That was like, that was a derailing that I didn't need. Let's go back to the railing. Okay, so you got railed in your dream? No, actually, I don't even know if she did, laws because she says nothing particularly scandalous happened. So I reckon. Maybe she was just like flirting with the guy or something like. So, I'm wondering if she's just said, oh my god, like I had old bait was in my dream last night and he happens to know him. But what do you What are you going to gain from that? Because it's your Your boyfriend is going to sit there and think cool, she's going to bed, and we know that this isn't how it works. But he's going to think. She's going to bed thinking about someone else. She's dreaming about someone else, and now she's telling me about someone else. Is there something going on?

A dream function last night. I was fucking David in my sleep last night. Don't tell someone that, because all that does is it breeds insecurity. Is that maybe you're thinking about them in real life, which obviously we all know that dreams and your real thoughts don't have to correlate. Like I've had sex with many people in my dreams that I would literally never have sex within my real life. But like, sometimes you can't control, your brain just goes there and then you wake up in the morning you're like, that was weird. Do I have a crush on them? No? I don't. Oh, thank god, I don't really sex dream a lot, don't you nu? Nuh? And it's funny. The only sex dream I've had was with a female friend ages ago, and I wasn't breath and I and I woke up feeling so awkward. And I hadn't even seen that friend in a while. So dreams are weird. But what would you do if you'd had a sex dream about me? Would to quit? Would you tell me? Or would you not tell me? I couldn't look at you that I'd have to do the podcast looking over here at the wall. I mean, we've spoken about my laber so much the last episode. I would feel surprised it hasn't happened yet. I feel viscerally uncomfortable if I had to dream about sex. What if you had to dream about sexy? And Okay, I'm pretty good. Actually I know, I know, I know, I know, I have no doubt. I have no doubt, but I know what I'm doing in the Saclaura. It would be like having said, Okay, let's go back to the question. That was like, that was a derailing that I didn't need. Let's go back to the railing. Okay, so you got railed in your dream? No, actually, I don't even know if she did, laws because she says nothing particularly scandalous happened. So I reckon. Maybe she was just like flirting with the guy or something like. So, I'm wondering if she's just said, oh my god, like I had old bait was in my dream last night and he happens to know him. But what do you What are you going to gain from that? Because it's your Your boyfriend is going to sit there and think cool, she's going to bed, and we know that this isn't how it works. But he's going to think. She's going to bed thinking about someone else. She's dreaming about someone else, and now she's telling me about someone else. Is there something going on?

We do this sometimes in relationships where we feel something. Remember, feelings are not always fact. Like you know, you're going to feel many things. You wake up feeling guilty, or you feel stressed, or you feel upset about something. And what we can sometimes do is in part that feeling because we want to get rid of it, right. We don't want to keep that feeling anymore, so then we give it to our partners. You said exactly that you woke up feeling guilty, and so therefore you wanted to be honest with your partner. Firstly, you have nothing to feel guilty for. When it's a dream. But by passing that on, your partner is going to have a reaction to it, right, Like he's going to have some sort of feeling towards the fact that you felt guilty.

We do this sometimes in relationships where we feel something. Remember, feelings are not always fact. Like you know, you're going to feel many things. You wake up feeling guilty, or you feel stressed, or you feel upset about something. And what we can sometimes do is in part that feeling because we want to get rid of it, right. We don't want to keep that feeling anymore, so then we give it to our partners. You said exactly that you woke up feeling guilty, and so therefore you wanted to be honest with your partner. Firstly, you have nothing to feel guilty for. When it's a dream. But by passing that on, your partner is going to have a reaction to it, right, Like he's going to have some sort of feeling towards the fact that you felt guilty.

You share this.

You share this.

Information, and his feeling is like he feels insecure or it feels weird that you thought that was necessary to tell him. So I don't think his feelings are an overreaction. I think you needing to tell him everything that you think or dream is an overreaction. All that does is it creates in securities when insecurities don't need to be there.

Information, and his feeling is like he feels insecure or it feels weird that you thought that was necessary to tell him. So I don't think his feelings are an overreaction. I think you needing to tell him everything that you think or dream is an overreaction. All that does is it creates in securities when insecurities don't need to be there.

But I also believe that you shouldn't feel guilty for what your dream. But totally you're unconscious, Like you are unconscious, and sometimes you dream things in situations you've never even been in, or people you've never even had anything to do with you cannot control out. I think just roll with it, wake up and be like that was fun, I was wild.

But I also believe that you shouldn't feel guilty for what your dream. But totally you're unconscious, Like you are unconscious, and sometimes you dream things in situations you've never even been in, or people you've never even had anything to do with you cannot control out. I think just roll with it, wake up and be like that was fun, I was wild.

I agree with you, Brett, but that's what I mean by it creates a bigger situation. Imagine if Ben woke up and I think, like anyone put themselves in that position. Imagine if your partner woke up and said, oh my god, I had a really intense sex dream about x y Z. All that's gonna do is put a thought in your head. It doesn't need to be there because you and I and everyone knows that dreams are not real.

I agree with you, Brett, but that's what I mean by it creates a bigger situation. Imagine if Ben woke up and I think, like anyone put themselves in that position. Imagine if your partner woke up and said, oh my god, I had a really intense sex dream about x y Z. All that's gonna do is put a thought in your head. It doesn't need to be there because you and I and everyone knows that dreams are not real.

But like, it's the same thing. I mean, fuck, I take it out on Matt.

But like, it's the same thing. I mean, fuck, I take it out on Matt.

If I have like a dream where he's cheated on me, I'll wake up in the morning and be like, Dreamat.

If I have like a dream where he's cheated on me, I'll wake up in the morning and be like, Dreamat.

Sucked last night, And he goes, oh god, what did I do? And I'm like, Dreamatt was he was a naughty boy and he did this, this and this, But it doesn't actually impact our real life. And I think those things are very weird. See if Ben, if that happened in that situation and Ben woke up and was like, hey had so with his chig my dream last night, crazy, I wouldn't be upset that he had sex with someone in his dream. I'd be upset that he told me. So I don't get jealous of people's dreams. There's nothing positive that I can do the information. Keep your dream sex to yourself, to yourself. Yeah, don't pass your feeling of guilt onto me. Whatever feelings you have when you wake up the next day. I don't need to know about it one hundred pecents. Just go to sleep the next day and start again. Yeah, question number two.

Sucked last night, And he goes, oh god, what did I do? And I'm like, Dreamatt was he was a naughty boy and he did this, this and this, But it doesn't actually impact our real life. And I think those things are very weird. See if Ben, if that happened in that situation and Ben woke up and was like, hey had so with his chig my dream last night, crazy, I wouldn't be upset that he had sex with someone in his dream. I'd be upset that he told me. So I don't get jealous of people's dreams. There's nothing positive that I can do the information. Keep your dream sex to yourself, to yourself. Yeah, don't pass your feeling of guilt onto me. Whatever feelings you have when you wake up the next day. I don't need to know about it one hundred pecents. Just go to sleep the next day and start again. Yeah, question number two.

My partner and ire in our thirties and have been together for five years and living together for the past three. In the last year and a half, he has had some significant family troubles that's taken a toll in his mental health, and he's most likely depressed and working on ways to improve this. He has found himself thinking about his ex girlfriend and wonders if a life with her might have been happier. He also has been feeling unfulfilled and having thoughts and uncertainties about his current career that used to give him a lot of purpose. They have not been in contact at all since they broke up, and he doesn't plan on reaching out to her. He tells me he loves me and wants to keep working on this relationship. I guess I'm having trouble figuring out if his current thought processes and considering of his past relationship is simply a reflection of his mental state slash potential depression, and if it's something that will get better with time, or if this has more to do with our relationship.

My partner and ire in our thirties and have been together for five years and living together for the past three. In the last year and a half, he has had some significant family troubles that's taken a toll in his mental health, and he's most likely depressed and working on ways to improve this. He has found himself thinking about his ex girlfriend and wonders if a life with her might have been happier. He also has been feeling unfulfilled and having thoughts and uncertainties about his current career that used to give him a lot of purpose. They have not been in contact at all since they broke up, and he doesn't plan on reaching out to her. He tells me he loves me and wants to keep working on this relationship. I guess I'm having trouble figuring out if his current thought processes and considering of his past relationship is simply a reflection of his mental state slash potential depression, and if it's something that will get better with time, or if this has more to do with our relationship.

I don't like this at all, and I know that she's preloaded it with like you know, he's had a tough time with his family, he's got mental health issues. But I don't think that is an excuse to go to your partner and say I think about my ex and wonder if I'm happier with her. That's not cool at all, And I don't care what the situation is. It's only cool if you are then going to follow it up with I don't think we should be together. Like if you are thinking about your ex more than your current partner enough that you go to your partner and tell them, I wonder if I'm happier with somebody I was with before you, What do you think is going to happen in your relationship? What do you think your partner is going to think? What's the point? What's the purpose unless you're gonna make a decision to say, I need to go and find out, Because now you are never ever going to stop thinking about that. You're gonna be like everything I do, You're gonna be walking around on eggshells because you're like, I know that, like that he could potentially leave me because you think something's better. If somebody comes to me and say, I think I could be happy with my ex, fucking go get them there, Go and find out. Like if somebody literally comes to me and said that if I am not enough for you right now to the point that you feel the need to tell me, I would say, figure it out and we can talk about it later. But I'm not gonna sit here while you amnah. And I'm currently the best thing in your life, so you'll keep me around because I'm good enough but not the best. It's really cruel. It's cruel.

I don't like this at all, and I know that she's preloaded it with like you know, he's had a tough time with his family, he's got mental health issues. But I don't think that is an excuse to go to your partner and say I think about my ex and wonder if I'm happier with her. That's not cool at all, And I don't care what the situation is. It's only cool if you are then going to follow it up with I don't think we should be together. Like if you are thinking about your ex more than your current partner enough that you go to your partner and tell them, I wonder if I'm happier with somebody I was with before you, What do you think is going to happen in your relationship? What do you think your partner is going to think? What's the point? What's the purpose unless you're gonna make a decision to say, I need to go and find out, Because now you are never ever going to stop thinking about that. You're gonna be like everything I do, You're gonna be walking around on eggshells because you're like, I know that, like that he could potentially leave me because you think something's better. If somebody comes to me and say, I think I could be happy with my ex, fucking go get them there, Go and find out. Like if somebody literally comes to me and said that if I am not enough for you right now to the point that you feel the need to tell me, I would say, figure it out and we can talk about it later. But I'm not gonna sit here while you amnah. And I'm currently the best thing in your life, so you'll keep me around because I'm good enough but not the best. It's really cruel. It's cruel.

But the way that you describe that brute just there, when you said that, it makes you walk on eggshells because what he's doing is he's saying, I'm committed, but I'm seeding you with doubt. I'm making you feel as though this isn't stable, And it almost is like you get to a point in yourself where you almost feel grateful that they're still choosing you.

But the way that you describe that brute just there, when you said that, it makes you walk on eggshells because what he's doing is he's saying, I'm committed, but I'm seeding you with doubt. I'm making you feel as though this isn't stable, And it almost is like you get to a point in yourself where you almost feel grateful that they're still choosing you.

You're like, you know he has these thoughts, but like he's still here. It's such a way of manipulating without him necess sssarily intentionally meaning to do it, but you're manipulated into feeling sorry for him. In so many ways. And I guess part of this that I really.

You're like, you know he has these thoughts, but like he's still here. It's such a way of manipulating without him necess sssarily intentionally meaning to do it, but you're manipulated into feeling sorry for him. In so many ways. And I guess part of this that I really.

Think that we should recognize is that depression presents itself in many ways. And I don't think that we can just completely gloss over and be like, oh my god, he's an asshole, He's this. He very well may be going through depression, and he very well may be going through a challenging mental state in terms of whatever's happened in his family, you haven't gone into details. When you are in that phase of life, you can sometimes lack empathy for how the things that you say will impact other people. That's a very real thing because you don't feel anything yourself, so you don't feel anything about the way in which other people feel around the things that you do and say too. That could be a possibility, but it doesn't mean that you need to be in a relationship where someone is cruel with the things that they say, even if depression is a participating factor. And I think ultimately the way in which he's set up this conversation of being like, well, I wonder if I would have been happier, but I'm going to stay and not do anything about it.

Think that we should recognize is that depression presents itself in many ways. And I don't think that we can just completely gloss over and be like, oh my god, he's an asshole, He's this. He very well may be going through depression, and he very well may be going through a challenging mental state in terms of whatever's happened in his family, you haven't gone into details. When you are in that phase of life, you can sometimes lack empathy for how the things that you say will impact other people. That's a very real thing because you don't feel anything yourself, so you don't feel anything about the way in which other people feel around the things that you do and say too. That could be a possibility, but it doesn't mean that you need to be in a relationship where someone is cruel with the things that they say, even if depression is a participating factor. And I think ultimately the way in which he's set up this conversation of being like, well, I wonder if I would have been happier, but I'm going to stay and not do anything about it.

It makes you feel as.

It makes you feel as.

Though your second best and you know, things may get better in time if he's going and getting treatment. But I guess the big questions I would be asking myself and this is what is he doing? What is he actually doing on a day to day or a week to week to try and improve his mental health to try and overcome this depression that he's feeling. Is he going to a therapist, has he been medicated? You know, what are the solutions that he has? And does he recognize that there's a problem, Because there's a very big difference between being made to feel as though the depression is what's causing this, or being made to feel.

Though your second best and you know, things may get better in time if he's going and getting treatment. But I guess the big questions I would be asking myself and this is what is he doing? What is he actually doing on a day to day or a week to week to try and improve his mental health to try and overcome this depression that he's feeling. Is he going to a therapist, has he been medicated? You know, what are the solutions that he has? And does he recognize that there's a problem, Because there's a very big difference between being made to feel as though the depression is what's causing this, or being made to feel.

As though you are the problem. The relationship is the problem.

As though you are the problem. The relationship is the problem.

It could be the case that the only way for him to find out whether the relationship is the problem is by not having it anymore. And if all of these feelings are still there when you're not there, well that's going to be a real indicator that actually it wasn't the relationship, it was him and the things that he was experiencing. But it's not your job to convince someone that the relationship you have now will be better than the one that he could have had with you totally.

It could be the case that the only way for him to find out whether the relationship is the problem is by not having it anymore. And if all of these feelings are still there when you're not there, well that's going to be a real indicator that actually it wasn't the relationship, it was him and the things that he was experiencing. But it's not your job to convince someone that the relationship you have now will be better than the one that he could have had with you totally.

And I'm one hundred percent, not taking anything away from the feeling of depression. But when you are in that position, there are going to be times in a relationship where one person has to show up eighty percent of the time because one only has the capacity for twenty Knowing that in the future that will flip and you're allowed to have your twenty percent and they'll have the eight and they'll show up for you. But in this situation, that's not happening. Obviously, there are a lot of other problems that he's experiencing in the relationship and he's not able to show up in a lot of ways. But he's also not relying on you and bringing it together. He's actually making it worse. He's saying, I'm thinking of someone else in my lowest time, and that's what I'm thinking about, like the person in when I should be thinking, how am I going to get through this for you? With you together? What can we do? How can I lean on you? It's not. He's gone to somebody else, and I think that's where the problem lies. Well.

And I'm one hundred percent, not taking anything away from the feeling of depression. But when you are in that position, there are going to be times in a relationship where one person has to show up eighty percent of the time because one only has the capacity for twenty Knowing that in the future that will flip and you're allowed to have your twenty percent and they'll have the eight and they'll show up for you. But in this situation, that's not happening. Obviously, there are a lot of other problems that he's experiencing in the relationship and he's not able to show up in a lot of ways. But he's also not relying on you and bringing it together. He's actually making it worse. He's saying, I'm thinking of someone else in my lowest time, and that's what I'm thinking about, like the person in when I should be thinking, how am I going to get through this for you? With you together? What can we do? How can I lean on you? It's not. He's gone to somebody else, and I think that's where the problem lies. Well.

The reason why he's doing that, though, is because often when you're in a low state, you think about times when you were happy. Maybe he attributes a happy time in his life to six years ago. Seven years ago, and that was a time when he was with his ex. It's not that his X made him happy, It's just that he didn't have all these other contributing factors that you are now dealing with in your relationship because of whatever else has happened that's influenced him. My big thing about this and I want to tread carefully because I know that depression is such a sensitive topic for anyone who has been the partner alongside someone with depression or the person who has had it themselves. It is not as simple as being a get out of jail free card.

The reason why he's doing that, though, is because often when you're in a low state, you think about times when you were happy. Maybe he attributes a happy time in his life to six years ago. Seven years ago, and that was a time when he was with his ex. It's not that his X made him happy, It's just that he didn't have all these other contributing factors that you are now dealing with in your relationship because of whatever else has happened that's influenced him. My big thing about this and I want to tread carefully because I know that depression is such a sensitive topic for anyone who has been the partner alongside someone with depression or the person who has had it themselves. It is not as simple as being a get out of jail free card.

It doesn't mean that you can.

It doesn't mean that you can.

Treat anyone the way that you want to treat them because you have depression. However, sometimes that is the byproduct, because it is hard to have empathy when you're already in such a dark place yourself. It's hard to care about other people's feelings when you don't feel anything. So I'm not saying he's being intentionally cruel, but the things he's saying are cruel things to say, and they will impact your relationship, even if you are the most supportive, loving, stable, all of those things, it still has an impact on you, and that's okay as well. The only thing that I would say is the fact that it is affecting his work. He's not showing up to his work that used to give him a lot of purpose with any sort of joy. He's not showing up to your relationship with joy. That to me says these are pretty clear indicators of depression and he needs to be taking some responsibility and doing something about it. So I guess it's up to you to kind of look at the relationship from an aerial perspective and go, what can I forgive as being not his behavior but something that's happening to him. What is it that he's saying that's very different to how he normally would be, But also what is he doing to try and improve this situation? And if he is doing lots of things and you guys are working together, then I would say give it time. If he's not doing anything, if he's blaming you, if he's not taking responsibility and nothing's changing, then I would say you are in a position where nothing will change, and so I wouldn't be giving it the time or the energy.

Treat anyone the way that you want to treat them because you have depression. However, sometimes that is the byproduct, because it is hard to have empathy when you're already in such a dark place yourself. It's hard to care about other people's feelings when you don't feel anything. So I'm not saying he's being intentionally cruel, but the things he's saying are cruel things to say, and they will impact your relationship, even if you are the most supportive, loving, stable, all of those things, it still has an impact on you, and that's okay as well. The only thing that I would say is the fact that it is affecting his work. He's not showing up to his work that used to give him a lot of purpose with any sort of joy. He's not showing up to your relationship with joy. That to me says these are pretty clear indicators of depression and he needs to be taking some responsibility and doing something about it. So I guess it's up to you to kind of look at the relationship from an aerial perspective and go, what can I forgive as being not his behavior but something that's happening to him. What is it that he's saying that's very different to how he normally would be, But also what is he doing to try and improve this situation? And if he is doing lots of things and you guys are working together, then I would say give it time. If he's not doing anything, if he's blaming you, if he's not taking responsibility and nothing's changing, then I would say you are in a position where nothing will change, and so I wouldn't be giving it the time or the energy.

What I do recommend is sitting down and actually having a conversation with him about why try to get there for him say, Okay, I'm not gonna lie. This doesn't make me feel very good to know that you're yeah, to know that you're thinking about her like a Why did you feel the need to tell me? Because you're at the point where you want me to know, so we have the conversation so that you can potentially leave go a little bit deeper. Why do you think you're thinking about her? Do you think it's just because you feel so down in your life right now that you are grasping for past happier times. Do you think you're thinking about it because you're unhappy in this relationship? Is that a direct byproduct of the fact that you're feeling down or are you genuinely unhappy in this relationship? Why are you unhappy in this relationship? I think just a really honest conversation to get to the bottom of it. Because maybe he hasn't figured that out for himself either, whatever that reason is, I don't know, but he's voiced him for a reason, so maybe he does want to have that conversation, and maybe that is something you can get to the bottom of. It together. You have been together for five years, so you are going to have hard conversations. It doesn't mean he necessarily wants to leave and you could get back to being better than ever. But you need to just have a really open communication. It's so lame to always be like communicate, but it's definitely the found of every relationship. If you don't completely understand why, you can't make a rational decision.

What I do recommend is sitting down and actually having a conversation with him about why try to get there for him say, Okay, I'm not gonna lie. This doesn't make me feel very good to know that you're yeah, to know that you're thinking about her like a Why did you feel the need to tell me? Because you're at the point where you want me to know, so we have the conversation so that you can potentially leave go a little bit deeper. Why do you think you're thinking about her? Do you think it's just because you feel so down in your life right now that you are grasping for past happier times. Do you think you're thinking about it because you're unhappy in this relationship? Is that a direct byproduct of the fact that you're feeling down or are you genuinely unhappy in this relationship? Why are you unhappy in this relationship? I think just a really honest conversation to get to the bottom of it. Because maybe he hasn't figured that out for himself either, whatever that reason is, I don't know, but he's voiced him for a reason, so maybe he does want to have that conversation, and maybe that is something you can get to the bottom of. It together. You have been together for five years, so you are going to have hard conversations. It doesn't mean he necessarily wants to leave and you could get back to being better than ever. But you need to just have a really open communication. It's so lame to always be like communicate, but it's definitely the found of every relationship. If you don't completely understand why, you can't make a rational decision.

Yeah, But also it goes back to what we said in the first question though, and I think sometimes people trauma dump. He's had thoughts and feelings and he is sad and feels a certain way, and so he was like, well, I'm going to tell you I've been thinking these things. What are you meant to do with that information? That information is so damaging to how you feel in your relationship. It's so damaging to your feelings of respect, stability, reassurance, all the things that you need to feel secure in your relationship. It has undone all of that. And so I think you are completely entitled to feel the way that you feel. And I think it is important to really understand how much support can you give someone and where does your personal boundary lie, because there's only so long that a relationship can be one starded. You cannot be in a relationship where you're made to feel as though you were second choice.

Yeah, But also it goes back to what we said in the first question though, and I think sometimes people trauma dump. He's had thoughts and feelings and he is sad and feels a certain way, and so he was like, well, I'm going to tell you I've been thinking these things. What are you meant to do with that information? That information is so damaging to how you feel in your relationship. It's so damaging to your feelings of respect, stability, reassurance, all the things that you need to feel secure in your relationship. It has undone all of that. And so I think you are completely entitled to feel the way that you feel. And I think it is important to really understand how much support can you give someone and where does your personal boundary lie, because there's only so long that a relationship can be one starded. You cannot be in a relationship where you're made to feel as though you were second choice.

Question number three. My boyfriend is a corporate king with a very healthy salary. I'm talking five hundred k plus, although whenever he does the groceries, he walks out and never pays, or sometimes he'll only pay for part I'm not talking about where you put like a CAP's come through and say it's an apple. I'm talking meat, veggies, yogurt, pasta, the full shop, substantial items. He just walks out. He just walks straight through, self served. Yep. This does not sit well with me. The point is he's not struggling financially. He does it because no one's watching, and why would I have to pay for it if I don't have to. I think he also likes the rush that he gets from it. He has very strong morals. Lol. He has very strong morals and values everywhere, and this can be seen a little off brand with the rest of his character. I've brought it up and said I don't like it, but he doesn't see it as a big deal. I'm worried he'll get caught. I think it's bad juju lol. And I also don't want his young children to see this behavior and think that it's right. Thoughts and opinions.

Question number three. My boyfriend is a corporate king with a very healthy salary. I'm talking five hundred k plus, although whenever he does the groceries, he walks out and never pays, or sometimes he'll only pay for part I'm not talking about where you put like a CAP's come through and say it's an apple. I'm talking meat, veggies, yogurt, pasta, the full shop, substantial items. He just walks out. He just walks straight through, self served. Yep. This does not sit well with me. The point is he's not struggling financially. He does it because no one's watching, and why would I have to pay for it if I don't have to. I think he also likes the rush that he gets from it. He has very strong morals. Lol. He has very strong morals and values everywhere, and this can be seen a little off brand with the rest of his character. I've brought it up and said I don't like it, but he doesn't see it as a big deal. I'm worried he'll get caught. I think it's bad juju lol. And I also don't want his young children to see this behavior and think that it's right. Thoughts and opinions.

Dick not a loser, Okay, it's very okay. I have many feelings about this, but the thing that's a loser this is the biggest ick. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who earns five hundred thousand dollars a year and he's got to steal yoga.

Dick not a loser, Okay, it's very okay. I have many feelings about this, but the thing that's a loser this is the biggest ick. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who earns five hundred thousand dollars a year and he's got to steal yoga.

That is the top one percent of income.

That is the top one percent of income.

The thing I've hate about this is that if he was homeless, if he was impoverished, if he was somebody who needed to steal from a shop to be able to get by, he wouldn't be able to do it because he would walk in there and people would be like, what's that person doing. I'm going to keep an eye on them. The reason why he's able to do it and get away with it so seamlessly is because he looks like someone who wouldn't do it. He looks like someone who has everything that they need because he does have everything that he needs because he earns five hundred thousand dollars a year, and so he's able to just cruise on by and doesn't get questioned. It's embarrassing that that is where he gets a rush from. And for me, on the scale of massive crimes, does it that highly No, it's just a huge ick though, Like to be dating a guy who can't pay for yogurt because he enjoys getting away with something that is seemingly a bit naughty.

The thing I've hate about this is that if he was homeless, if he was impoverished, if he was somebody who needed to steal from a shop to be able to get by, he wouldn't be able to do it because he would walk in there and people would be like, what's that person doing. I'm going to keep an eye on them. The reason why he's able to do it and get away with it so seamlessly is because he looks like someone who wouldn't do it. He looks like someone who has everything that they need because he does have everything that he needs because he earns five hundred thousand dollars a year, and so he's able to just cruise on by and doesn't get questioned. It's embarrassing that that is where he gets a rush from. And for me, on the scale of massive crimes, does it that highly No, it's just a huge ick though, Like to be dating a guy who can't pay for yogurt because he enjoys getting away with something that is seemingly a bit naughty.

But it's not yoga, it's an entire shop. Is he just wheeling? What's he doing putting the shops? Just wheeling the whole shopping can't out the door, and just being like thanks and walking off like is it the confidence? For me, morals is such a huge part of a relationship, and this would be the I couldn't date him. I could not date somebody that was putting a whole shopping cart of food in and walking out When you know you have money, you also have kids that are looking up to you, like are your kids? Are you doing the shopping with your kids?

But it's not yoga, it's an entire shop. Is he just wheeling? What's he doing putting the shops? Just wheeling the whole shopping can't out the door, and just being like thanks and walking off like is it the confidence? For me, morals is such a huge part of a relationship, and this would be the I couldn't date him. I could not date somebody that was putting a whole shopping cart of food in and walking out When you know you have money, you also have kids that are looking up to you, like are your kids? Are you doing the shopping with your kids?

I think the other part of though, is like it says a lot about when you say he's actually got great morals. In other areas, it says a lot about the type of person. When people do things because they can get away with it. I actually think that that's a real indicator of pretty shitty morals. And I kind of liken it to people who talk bad lead to wait staff. If you think you can get away with something, so therefore you do it, then that doesn't actually mean that you have very good morals. It means the only reason why you don't do things is because you think you'll get caught. Yeah, And I think that that's not the litmus for the type of relationship i'd be in. Like that, to me, I'd be like, Okay, well, and I know it's a big stretch, but I'm like, well, would you just cheat if you thought you couldn't get caught?