Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seeded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seeded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on gadigal Land. Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on gadigal Land. Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

I'm Laura, I'm no longer horny, and I'm also Brittany.

I'm Laura, I'm no longer horny, and I'm also Brittany.

That's wow.

That's wow.

We it is amazing how much we've spoked about your sex life recently.

We it is amazing how much we've spoked about your sex life recently.

And I'm not I'm not mad about it. I'm wild for you. It's because eighty percent of the year, I don't have a sex life. So for that tiny little smidge of a year. And if you're new to the podcast, welcome to Life on cart where brittin Laura.

And I'm not I'm not mad about it. I'm wild for you. It's because eighty percent of the year, I don't have a sex life. So for that tiny little smidge of a year. And if you're new to the podcast, welcome to Life on cart where brittin Laura.

Where we only discuss how britt orgasms, how hard she orgasm is, how much sex she has, and how excited she was to see her briefriender.

Where we only discuss how britt orgasms, how hard she orgasm is, how much sex she has, and how excited she was to see her briefriender.

No, actually, the entire podcast, that's all we discussed. I don't have a relationship in the physical flag should have a long distance relationship. But my partner Ben has just arrived. She usually calls him her husband, yeah, which is definitely not called manifestation or look it up. No, So I haven't seen him in like four and a half months, and he came two days ago and came this morning too.

No, actually, the entire podcast, that's all we discussed. I don't have a relationship in the physical flag should have a long distance relationship. But my partner Ben has just arrived. She usually calls him her husband, yeah, which is definitely not called manifestation or look it up. No, So I haven't seen him in like four and a half months, and he came two days ago and came this morning too.

Forgets in the car this morning. And the first thing that she said is.

Forgets in the car this morning. And the first thing that she said is.

How much, how much she deeply appreciates.

How much, how much she deeply appreciates.

And I want to say this on your behalf because I don't want to get away without thank you. All of the life is how much she appreciates. How many of you are invested in her sex life. Oh my god.

And I want to say this on your behalf because I don't want to get away without thank you. All of the life is how much she appreciates. How many of you are invested in her sex life. Oh my god.

Okay, so my dms have been absolutely blowing up and I can't tell you how many people, and I love it. So many people have written to me in the last twenty four hours saying it's concerning to me how much I've been thinking about your sex life for the last twenty four hours. Like I am thinking about you having sex all day, not in a creepy way, but apparently everyone's like, oh, are they doing it right now? Like what's happening right now? Waiting for the updates? So I'm not going to go into detailed up but I love how invested you guys are in my sex life. I don't know how I feel about you imagining the sex happening I'm fine with it.

Okay, so my dms have been absolutely blowing up and I can't tell you how many people, and I love it. So many people have written to me in the last twenty four hours saying it's concerning to me how much I've been thinking about your sex life for the last twenty four hours. Like I am thinking about you having sex all day, not in a creepy way, but apparently everyone's like, oh, are they doing it right now? Like what's happening right now? Waiting for the updates? So I'm not going to go into detailed up but I love how invested you guys are in my sex life. I don't know how I feel about you imagining the sex happening I'm fine with it.

You describe it so much that you've actually just brought this on yourself though, Like you talk about it, but I don't.

You describe it so much that you've actually just brought this on yourself though, Like you talk about it, but I don't.

I never describe it. I just say it's happening, It's going to happen. I can't wait. I don't sit there and talk through my what happened.

I never describe it. I just say it's happening, It's going to happen. I can't wait. I don't sit there and talk through my what happened.

I'm pretty sure on last week's episode you said he's going to be coming in me on me, and.

I'm pretty sure on last week's episode you said he's going to be coming in me on me, and.

I think that's a volcano. Yeah, it's pretty descriptive, though, one might argue.

I think that's a volcano. Yeah, it's pretty descriptive, though, one might argue.

And I feel like I've had a lot of descriptions in my mind around it, which was whether I was voluntarily asking for them or not. Like they're there, They're like imprinted in my brain now and I can't get them out.

And I feel like I've had a lot of descriptions in my mind around it, which was whether I was voluntarily asking for them or not. Like they're there, They're like imprinted in my brain now and I can't get them out.

You're welcome, Laura.

You're welcome, Laura.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You guys like porn, It's fine. I'm not others into porn as I used to be, are you not? I'm too fucking lazy these days.

You guys like porn, It's fine. I'm not others into porn as I used to be, are you not? I'm too fucking lazy these days.

Yeah, but you don't have to. Porn is the ultimate laziness. You lay there and watch TV. You watch it.

Yeah, but you don't have to. Porn is the ultimate laziness. You lay there and watch TV. You watch it.

I don't know that even porn feels like effort now, it really does. Hey, I have okay across this Instagram is real. That's gone viral the other day. Fuck, I found it so funny. Okay, I want you to do this exercise. Breathe all the air out of your lungs, like push it all out. Yeah, I'm doing so you like like a big one. Breathe it all out and then scream. Keep going all the air, breathe it out, push it out. Ah.

I don't know that even porn feels like effort now, it really does. Hey, I have okay across this Instagram is real. That's gone viral the other day. Fuck, I found it so funny. Okay, I want you to do this exercise. Breathe all the air out of your lungs, like push it all out. Yeah, I'm doing so you like like a big one. Breathe it all out and then scream. Keep going all the air, breathe it out, push it out. Ah.

It's so why do I have so much air in me? I know that answer? Ye just hold air. This is not a good audio medium thing to do, Laura.

It's so why do I have so much air in me? I know that answer? Ye just hold air. This is not a good audio medium thing to do, Laura.

Let's just try it you Actually, I feel like there's too much air left and her lungs.

Let's just try it you Actually, I feel like there's too much air left and her lungs.

It's so funny exercises. You're so good at the unique New York.

It's so funny exercises. You're so good at the unique New York.

Unique New York.

Unique New York.

You just said New North, Laura. I didn't have enough time on my hands to watch porn. Also, Laura, Hey, I've been watching this reall where you breathe all your air out, you try and scream. You should try it. Maybe you should use your time differently, Laura.

You just said New North, Laura. I didn't have enough time on my hands to watch porn. Also, Laura, Hey, I've been watching this reall where you breathe all your air out, you try and scream. You should try it. Maybe you should use your time differently, Laura.

Okay, so what is this is true? I probably should, but I don't want to. I think I'm happy with where I'm at in life now. I'm just not as horny as I used to be. And got me pregnant two kids. Saw back, how do you think you're gonna have another kid?

Okay, so what is this is true? I probably should, but I don't want to. I think I'm happy with where I'm at in life now. I'm just not as horny as I used to be. And got me pregnant two kids. Saw back, how do you think you're gonna have another kid?

Then you know how you have to do it right. You got to putiness in the page.

Then you know how you have to do it right. You got to putiness in the page.

Thank you for that, Thank you for that description. What's been the best part now that Ben's been here?

Thank you for that, Thank you for that description. What's been the best part now that Ben's been here?

Okay, so this is I mean, this makes me sound like a wenker, But two things happened yesterday. No one thing happened yesterday with Ben on our very first day. One thing that I usually don't like, but I liked it this time. So Ben and I walked outside of our house yesterday and there were paparazzi, Like I could not actually believe it. They're there for him, not me, but maybe because we're never together that they wanted to get a photo. And I was like so annoying, like we just want to be I just want to be with you, like no paparazzi or whatever, Like it's just weird, Like who wants a photo of us? Anyway? It makes me gross.

Okay, so this is I mean, this makes me sound like a wenker, But two things happened yesterday. No one thing happened yesterday with Ben on our very first day. One thing that I usually don't like, but I liked it this time. So Ben and I walked outside of our house yesterday and there were paparazzi, Like I could not actually believe it. They're there for him, not me, but maybe because we're never together that they wanted to get a photo. And I was like so annoying, like we just want to be I just want to be with you, like no paparazzi or whatever, Like it's just weird, Like who wants a photo of us? Anyway? It makes me gross.

They wanted to see you cover from head to toe and seem, yeah, that's what it was, but.

They wanted to see you cover from head to toe and seem, yeah, that's what it was, but.

I don't have the lead the lens for that into my room anyway. So we're walking around and it was it was pretty annoying. And then I saw the article come out and I frothed it. I realized the paparazzi now have had to go upper level. So paparazzi have to do videos now because I guess they can't keep up with social media, like they're on tiktoks and stuff. Now I don't have TikTok. One of you guys actually sent me in a TikTok that a paparazzi had put together of Ben and I of our day out, and I was like, oh, here we go. And I watched it and I loved it. It was like, we never get photos together because who's going to take your photo rights?

I don't have the lead the lens for that into my room anyway. So we're walking around and it was it was pretty annoying. And then I saw the article come out and I frothed it. I realized the paparazzi now have had to go upper level. So paparazzi have to do videos now because I guess they can't keep up with social media, like they're on tiktoks and stuff. Now I don't have TikTok. One of you guys actually sent me in a TikTok that a paparazzi had put together of Ben and I of our day out, and I was like, oh, here we go. And I watched it and I loved it. It was like, we never get photos together because who's going to take your photo rights?

Just the two of you.

Just the two of you.

But this paparazzi had put together a reel, a sizzle reel of Ben and I and bond time getting around with Delilah, and we're like laughing walking across the road. There's some kissing moments, like at a cafe, and I was like, there's such an invasion of privacy. But I was like, we have this memory now that they put together this music back in music too. It's actually so funny. I have that memory now. I've been of our first day together.

But this paparazzi had put together a reel, a sizzle reel of Ben and I and bond time getting around with Delilah, and we're like laughing walking across the road. There's some kissing moments, like at a cafe, and I was like, there's such an invasion of privacy. But I was like, we have this memory now that they put together this music back in music too. It's actually so funny. I have that memory now. I've been of our first day together.

Well, I mean you already had the memory, but now you have something that you can add to the shrine, but you need as an LCD screen and you can.

Well, I mean you already had the memory, but now you have something that you can add to the shrine, but you need as an LCD screen and you can.

Have that playing online.

Have that playing online.

Anyway, We're heading up and off to the Gold Coast this weekend. I'm going to show Ben the Gold Coast, which is, you know, really nice because one day I hope to maybe live up there, like you know, down the track in the future.

Anyway, We're heading up and off to the Gold Coast this weekend. I'm going to show Ben the Gold Coast, which is, you know, really nice because one day I hope to maybe live up there, like you know, down the track in the future.

I've got family up there.

I've got family up there.

My sister's shows up there, so I'm trying to like show him different parts of Australia that he hasn't seen yet, and I think he'll fall in love with it up there.

My sister's shows up there, so I'm trying to like show him different parts of Australia that he hasn't seen yet, and I think he'll fall in love with it up there.

Like a part of this is that Britt and I were both heading up to Byron on the weekend and I was going first, you we're all going to be there at the same time because we love each other and can't get we'll get away from each other.

Like a part of this is that Britt and I were both heading up to Byron on the weekend and I was going first, you we're all going to be there at the same time because we love each other and can't get we'll get away from each other.

It's very cute.

It's very cute.

I can tell you where we're going for lunch on Friday if you want to meet us there.

I can tell you where we're going for lunch on Friday if you want to meet us there.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

I'm not gonna tell everyone on the podcast Paparazza. Actually that could be cute. Byron bases are let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes.

I'm not gonna tell everyone on the podcast Paparazza. Actually that could be cute. Byron bases are let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes.

What are you unsubscribing from?

What are you unsubscribing from?

Nothing? Unsubscribing from zero? Stop it? Sorry, my brain is in the garter tap. My vibe is a TV It's Ben's penis Ben's peenis. My vibe is sex. My unsubscribed is Saturday? All right, bumble No, my vibe is a TV show. And I am going to thank you all of you listeners, well people on Instagram. I was really drive TV shows last week and I put a box up what have you guys been loving?

Nothing? Unsubscribing from zero? Stop it? Sorry, my brain is in the garter tap. My vibe is a TV It's Ben's penis Ben's peenis. My vibe is sex. My unsubscribed is Saturday? All right, bumble No, my vibe is a TV show. And I am going to thank you all of you listeners, well people on Instagram. I was really drive TV shows last week and I put a box up what have you guys been loving?

And watching?

And watching?

So many responses and there was one response that came through that didn't come through a lot. Actually, I don't know why I picked it because only probably two people out of a lot wrote this show. It's on Binge and it's called Apple's Never Fall. There's only I think seven episodes. I watched it in one hit. It's got Sam Neil in it as the lead. Now Sam Neil from Jurassic Park, brilliant like New Zealand actor. He did all those lamb commercials when we were growing up. Do you remember because of pork? One of them it was a red meat. I get some on your I can't remember, well he does wall Now I think as well, like he's I think he must be on the New Zealand Sheep Farm or something anyway relevant. Samuel brilliant Jurassic Park. And one of the other actors you might know Jake Lacy, who played Pete Miller in the Office. Like The Office was obviously huge, but it's really brilliant. I'm not going to go into too much detail. It's bite size seven episodes. I was hooked from the start. It's a I guess you would say, a mystery drama about a family member that goes missing and then what happens within that family to find the missing person. I actually really loved it. It's been a long time since I've sat down and been hooked to a TV series. So it's short and sweep. My vibe today, but it's apples never fall on binge. Can't recommend enough produce, Kisha, what is your vibe?

So many responses and there was one response that came through that didn't come through a lot. Actually, I don't know why I picked it because only probably two people out of a lot wrote this show. It's on Binge and it's called Apple's Never Fall. There's only I think seven episodes. I watched it in one hit. It's got Sam Neil in it as the lead. Now Sam Neil from Jurassic Park, brilliant like New Zealand actor. He did all those lamb commercials when we were growing up. Do you remember because of pork? One of them it was a red meat. I get some on your I can't remember, well he does wall Now I think as well, like he's I think he must be on the New Zealand Sheep Farm or something anyway relevant. Samuel brilliant Jurassic Park. And one of the other actors you might know Jake Lacy, who played Pete Miller in the Office. Like The Office was obviously huge, but it's really brilliant. I'm not going to go into too much detail. It's bite size seven episodes. I was hooked from the start. It's a I guess you would say, a mystery drama about a family member that goes missing and then what happens within that family to find the missing person. I actually really loved it. It's been a long time since I've sat down and been hooked to a TV series. So it's short and sweep. My vibe today, but it's apples never fall on binge. Can't recommend enough produce, Kisha, what is your vibe?

My vibe for the week. I'm kind of back in my woo woo phase. I've had some really really bad sleep lately. This is not a sleep recommendation though, but I have never been a meditation girlie.

My vibe for the week. I'm kind of back in my woo woo phase. I've had some really really bad sleep lately. This is not a sleep recommendation though, but I have never been a meditation girlie.

How about you guys? Are you meditation people. I'm looking at Laura, I already know. I did a whole study on meditation and the effects of meditation on the white and gray matter in the brain via functional MRI scans. I'm super into meditation. Interesting.

How about you guys? Are you meditation people. I'm looking at Laura, I already know. I did a whole study on meditation and the effects of meditation on the white and gray matter in the brain via functional MRI scans. I'm super into meditation. Interesting.

I've never been able to do it. I can recognize the benefits for other people. But we have a friend actually, this guy we became friends with, yeah, Rory at the dog park years and years and years ago. I later found out that he does breath work. A couple different things that I like about him, specifically is that he has a background in science, and the breath work that he does is physiological based, so if you're after something a little bit more spiritual, this probably isn't for you. He has free breathwork compilation kind of tracks on Spotify. They're quite new. It's called HAIL, so it's h al. There's two types, so there's guided or there's non guided. I've obviously been doing the guided because otherwise my brain scatters into a million pieces. But I've just been trying to do the five minute ones just before I go to bed, so I've been laying down and doing my guided breath work. He's got a beautiful Scottish accent. I find them other they're like short enough that I can get through it.

I've never been able to do it. I can recognize the benefits for other people. But we have a friend actually, this guy we became friends with, yeah, Rory at the dog park years and years and years ago. I later found out that he does breath work. A couple different things that I like about him, specifically is that he has a background in science, and the breath work that he does is physiological based, so if you're after something a little bit more spiritual, this probably isn't for you. He has free breathwork compilation kind of tracks on Spotify. They're quite new. It's called HAIL, so it's h al. There's two types, so there's guided or there's non guided. I've obviously been doing the guided because otherwise my brain scatters into a million pieces. But I've just been trying to do the five minute ones just before I go to bed, so I've been laying down and doing my guided breath work. He's got a beautiful Scottish accent. I find them other they're like short enough that I can get through it.

So I'm starting my breathwork journey. It's felt good.

So I'm starting my breathwork journey. It's felt good.

It's felt good to kind of just try and do five minutes at the end of the day to kind of center my brain and calm at the fuck down. And I really really have enjoyed this one. So if you are wanting to maybe start attempting breathwork, this is a really easy entry. It's free on Spotify. You can kind of access it however you want. There are also different lengths, so there's one that's two minutes. They go up to ten minutes, so you can pick.

It's felt good to kind of just try and do five minutes at the end of the day to kind of center my brain and calm at the fuck down. And I really really have enjoyed this one. So if you are wanting to maybe start attempting breathwork, this is a really easy entry. It's free on Spotify. You can kind of access it however you want. There are also different lengths, so there's one that's two minutes. They go up to ten minutes, so you can pick.

I always find it's so funny that if you're someone who doesn't meditate and you meet someone who does meditate, the very first thing they say to you is how you're the exact person that needs to meditate. Like that's always the feedback that you get. We are the people are the person that can benefit from this.

I always find it's so funny that if you're someone who doesn't meditate and you meet someone who does meditate, the very first thing they say to you is how you're the exact person that needs to meditate. Like that's always the feedback that you get. We are the people are the person that can benefit from this.

He well, he also takes his breath work very seriously. He'll do marathons with his mouth tape shut so that he can just breathe through like the pal of breath. He has done so much research in him, like he'll do a whole marathon just breathing through his nose.

He well, he also takes his breath work very seriously. He'll do marathons with his mouth tape shut so that he can just breathe through like the pal of breath. He has done so much research in him, like he'll do a whole marathon just breathing through his nose.

Yeah, I sure Matt met this guy and did some like stuff with him.

Yeah, I sure Matt met this guy and did some like stuff with him.

Yeah, he also does stuff with like Zydney Swan's and like he's really in with athletes. He's an ultra marathon runner, so he practices what he preaches.

Yeah, he also does stuff with like Zydney Swan's and like he's really in with athletes. He's an ultra marathon runner, so he practices what he preaches.

I can say that much.

I can say that much.

This is when Matt got really into swimming underwater and he was like dedicated to swimming laps.

This is when Matt got really into swimming underwater and he was like dedicated to swimming laps.

We forget, that's how you're going back to Viron.

We forget, that's how you're going back to Viron.

Isn't it.

Isn't it.

So we can do the elements pool every time. It's his favorite thing is to try and see how many laps he can do with so he wanted to get to doing fifty meters and then like it just became a s obsession. And yeah, I'm pretty sure he got into the mouth taping sleeping and.

So we can do the elements pool every time. It's his favorite thing is to try and see how many laps he can do with so he wanted to get to doing fifty meters and then like it just became a s obsession. And yeah, I'm pretty sure he got into the mouth taping sleeping and.

Stuff and anyway, interesting, I'll send him hail on Spotify so we can get practicing before you go to viral.

Stuff and anyway, interesting, I'll send him hail on Spotify so we can get practicing before you go to viral.

And I think that men who like to do underwater swimming for as far as possible, that's like the equivalent of a female house plan obsession. Like that's you guys know that that's where I'm at in my middle agedom and Matt's at the swimming laps underwater part of his middle aged That's where we're at.

And I think that men who like to do underwater swimming for as far as possible, that's like the equivalent of a female house plan obsession. Like that's you guys know that that's where I'm at in my middle agedom and Matt's at the swimming laps underwater part of his middle aged That's where we're at.

Different goals. Yeah, different strokes, man, different ways.

Different goals. Yeah, different strokes, man, different ways.

Okay, so my speaking of house plants that leads me to my vibe perfectly. We spoke about this a couple of months back, Keisha. That's because you guys, for my birthday, got me a whole heap of.

Okay, so my speaking of house plants that leads me to my vibe perfectly. We spoke about this a couple of months back, Keisha. That's because you guys, for my birthday, got me a whole heap of.

We the Wild.

We the Wild.

Oh yeah, Britt, you owe me for that. Oh yeah, So We the Wild.

Oh yeah, Britt, you owe me for that. Oh yeah, So We the Wild.

It's a brand of it's been.

It's a brand of it's been.

It's been my vibe on here before. Oh I got you guys onto it. You guys forget that I was the og plant person and then you guys knocked me, and now it's come full circle and now you're frothing it.

It's been my vibe on here before. Oh I got you guys onto it. You guys forget that I was the og plant person and then you guys knocked me, and now it's come full circle and now you're frothing it.

It's so funny that the og plant person actually really sucks at keeping plants alive, and your go to for keeping plants alive is to just put them outside and let nature do its work.

It's so funny that the og plant person actually really sucks at keeping plants alive, and your go to for keeping plants alive is to just put them outside and let nature do its work.

But that's the thing.

But that's the thing.

I don't suck at it.

I don't suck at it.

They're thriving because they're outside in your house.

They're thriving because they're outside in your house.

It's because this is not sponsored. It's because of We the Wild.

It's because this is not sponsored. It's because of We the Wild.

Okay, So We the wild and that they have several products they have. They have a fertilizer. It's a liquid fertilizer. You just add it to your water, which is great because use that. I mean it does if you were to so I use the reusable pack. So it's like a liter that you can pour into another bottle if you cut that open. Yeah, it smells because it's made from worm decomposting stuff. Anyway, you don't smell it though, because you pour it into a small container and has a sealed lid on it, so it really doesn't smell. But it's this fertilizer concentrate. But that's actually not what I was going to recommend, even though that is fantastic.

Okay, So We the wild and that they have several products they have. They have a fertilizer. It's a liquid fertilizer. You just add it to your water, which is great because use that. I mean it does if you were to so I use the reusable pack. So it's like a liter that you can pour into another bottle if you cut that open. Yeah, it smells because it's made from worm decomposting stuff. Anyway, you don't smell it though, because you pour it into a small container and has a sealed lid on it, so it really doesn't smell. But it's this fertilizer concentrate. But that's actually not what I was going to recommend, even though that is fantastic.

I'm recommending their name.

I'm recommending their name.

So if you are a little plant galley or you love your houseplants and you want to know how to make the leaves really shiny and to protect them from like all of the pests and stuff that do get into your house if you don't keep them outside like Bridge does get kneem oil.

So if you are a little plant galley or you love your houseplants and you want to know how to make the leaves really shiny and to protect them from like all of the pests and stuff that do get into your house if you don't keep them outside like Bridge does get kneem oil.

It's amazing.

It's amazing.

You can spray the leaves, you can wipe them down, and mine since I started doing that have absolutely it's gone up a fucking notch.

You can spray the leaves, you can wipe them down, and mine since I started doing that have absolutely it's gone up a fucking notch.

My house is a forest. My fiddle leaf which is inside, and it's the same one now. So the leaves sometimes if you have a fiddle leaf, you see sometimes the leaves start to grow a little bit down, like they're not up and happy. I literally got one of these products from with Wild. It's in a spray bottle. Sprayed the leaves because I saw it online and I was like, bullshit, there's no way that happens. In twenty four hours. Spray every leaf under and on the top overnight and because they're all facing down, came out in the morning and you would think it was a different plant, like to a sky it leaves up to the sky. It was thriving, and I was like, oh my god, you just needed that extra little something, something.

My house is a forest. My fiddle leaf which is inside, and it's the same one now. So the leaves sometimes if you have a fiddle leaf, you see sometimes the leaves start to grow a little bit down, like they're not up and happy. I literally got one of these products from with Wild. It's in a spray bottle. Sprayed the leaves because I saw it online and I was like, bullshit, there's no way that happens. In twenty four hours. Spray every leaf under and on the top overnight and because they're all facing down, came out in the morning and you would think it was a different plant, like to a sky it leaves up to the sky. It was thriving, and I was like, oh my god, you just needed that extra little something, something.

Just juice.

Just juice.

Laura.

Laura.

You taught me that I had to wipe my fiddle leaf because they would getting dusty.

You taught me that I had to wipe my fiddle leaf because they would getting dusty.

I will admit, good tip.

I will admit, good tip.

It has helped. Yeah, guys, love my plants. I'm here for any plant tips you need. Slide into my DMS. I love that you already do. But also, if you have a fiddle fig or a fucking monsterra wipe its leaves. Goddamn it. The poor thing can't photosynthesize. It's why it's dying. There.

It has helped. Yeah, guys, love my plants. I'm here for any plant tips you need. Slide into my DMS. I love that you already do. But also, if you have a fiddle fig or a fucking monsterra wipe its leaves. Goddamn it. The poor thing can't photosynthesize. It's why it's dying. There.

Let's get into the questions, all right.

Let's get into the questions, all right.

Question Number one. I match with a guy on a dating app and we met up for lunch yesterday. I made a comment about how he and I were of similar age and generation, me being thirty eight and well him being forty, to which he said, oh, no, sorry, I'm actually forty five. This is not the first, second, or third time that this has happened to me. I have had this happen an innumerable amount of times, and there is always that excuse of like, oh, the app wouldn't let me change it, to which my thought is, well, if you were honest in the first place, you wouldn't need to change anything. My question is one, do women put an incorrect age in the dating app too? My experience is with dating men, and I am curious about whether it's something everyone one does or not.

Question Number one. I match with a guy on a dating app and we met up for lunch yesterday. I made a comment about how he and I were of similar age and generation, me being thirty eight and well him being forty, to which he said, oh, no, sorry, I'm actually forty five. This is not the first, second, or third time that this has happened to me. I have had this happen an innumerable amount of times, and there is always that excuse of like, oh, the app wouldn't let me change it, to which my thought is, well, if you were honest in the first place, you wouldn't need to change anything. My question is one, do women put an incorrect age in the dating app too? My experience is with dating men, and I am curious about whether it's something everyone one does or not.

Number two he was otherwise lovely.

Number two he was otherwise lovely.

So is it better to just brush this aside and accept that it was a mistake go on another date, or do I take this as being insincere and potentially an amber flag. I like that she's not calling it a red flag. An amber flag that the guy could be a jak. No, it's fine. Everyone lies on dating apps. I'm not saying it's I'm not saying it's okay to lie. I'm not saying it's okay to lie.

So is it better to just brush this aside and accept that it was a mistake go on another date, or do I take this as being insincere and potentially an amber flag. I like that she's not calling it a red flag. An amber flag that the guy could be a jak. No, it's fine. Everyone lies on dating apps. I'm not saying it's I'm not saying it's okay to lie. I'm not saying it's okay to lie.

But when I say it's fine, it's fine because he hasn't lied to your face like on the app it's incorrect. But he told you straight away. I think the problem would be here if he had lied to you for however long you'd hooked up, you were sleeping together, whatever, and then he was like, psych, you know, I'm ten years old or whatever. I think that's the problem. But I know a lot of people, and again i'm not saying it's okay. I know a lot of people lie about their age on dating apps, and some people it's unintentional. Sometimes your age goes in incorrectly for whatever reason. Maybe you lied about it ten years ago. Some apps won't let you change because they think you put it in honestly at the start and now you're trying to change it to lie. So some apps only give you like two date changes. So if someone fucked around on an app with their age ten years ago, that's gonna be like, ah ah, ain't let you change it.

But when I say it's fine, it's fine because he hasn't lied to your face like on the app it's incorrect. But he told you straight away. I think the problem would be here if he had lied to you for however long you'd hooked up, you were sleeping together, whatever, and then he was like, psych, you know, I'm ten years old or whatever. I think that's the problem. But I know a lot of people, and again i'm not saying it's okay. I know a lot of people lie about their age on dating apps, and some people it's unintentional. Sometimes your age goes in incorrectly for whatever reason. Maybe you lied about it ten years ago. Some apps won't let you change because they think you put it in honestly at the start and now you're trying to change it to lie. So some apps only give you like two date changes. So if someone fucked around on an app with their age ten years ago, that's gonna be like, ah ah, ain't let you change it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Part of me is like, Okay, I agree with you. I don't think it's a big deal. It's like, what five years if and he told you whether he's forty or forty five, Like, I'm still going to date the guy if the guy is a great guy, right, I don't think I'm not going to care about that level of an age gap.

Part of me is like, Okay, I agree with you. I don't think it's a big deal. It's like, what five years if and he told you whether he's forty or forty five, Like, I'm still going to date the guy if the guy is a great guy, right, I don't think I'm not going to care about that level of an age gap.

The only thing that makes me go a bit like.

The only thing that makes me go a bit like.

Oh, yuck is the fact that it's normally men, I would say, and they usually age themselves down, and the reason for that is because they want to date younger women, right, So they don't want to age themselves out of a younger woman's age category, and that's why they've put a younger age in the first place, which is part of me is just like, oh, you're a fucking grubby But I know, also, I don't know the fact that he didn't lie about you on the first date, Like you've got there, you can make up your own mind.

Oh, yuck is the fact that it's normally men, I would say, and they usually age themselves down, and the reason for that is because they want to date younger women, right, So they don't want to age themselves out of a younger woman's age category, and that's why they've put a younger age in the first place, which is part of me is just like, oh, you're a fucking grubby But I know, also, I don't know the fact that he didn't lie about you on the first date, Like you've got there, you can make up your own mind.

I think if there's honesty there, then I would.

I think if there's honesty there, then I would.

Feel less deceived that if you've gone on several dates with someone they have lied on their dating app about their age and then they wait until you're invested in them to tell you their age.

Feel less deceived that if you've gone on several dates with someone they have lied on their dating app about their age and then they wait until you're invested in them to tell you their age.

I think that that's really shit.

I think that that's really shit.

This happened to me once and I actually felt really gross. I remember, and I feel gross thinking back to the time. Now, I was in my twenties and late twenties. I matched with this guy online and we vibed. He was really nice, like we got along really well. He definitely looked older than his age, but I didn't hold that against him because I still knew his age right. He told me his age. I must have been twenty eight or something and he was mid thirties. So I was like fine, like you're like, okay, I can get ten year but he looked older, but I was like okay. He was a surfar. I was like, you wea it. You spend your time in the sun, like whatever. The Australian ozone layer is rough. And it didn't bother me because I was going off how I felt. We went on a couple of days. We've seen each other for a couple of weeks? Did you have sex with them? We had sex because we were I reckon. We I probably saw him maybe for five six weeks we had sex, and then after that amount of time he had said something and I don't remember what he had said, but he said something where I realized the timeline and the age didn't add up, and I was like, oh, but I thought you had done this by that age. I thought you were over here, you know, you said it that And he was like, oh, oh, like so almost like you got me. He's like, oh, I'm actually my age is incorrect on the dating map.

This happened to me once and I actually felt really gross. I remember, and I feel gross thinking back to the time. Now, I was in my twenties and late twenties. I matched with this guy online and we vibed. He was really nice, like we got along really well. He definitely looked older than his age, but I didn't hold that against him because I still knew his age right. He told me his age. I must have been twenty eight or something and he was mid thirties. So I was like fine, like you're like, okay, I can get ten year but he looked older, but I was like okay. He was a surfar. I was like, you wea it. You spend your time in the sun, like whatever. The Australian ozone layer is rough. And it didn't bother me because I was going off how I felt. We went on a couple of days. We've seen each other for a couple of weeks? Did you have sex with them? We had sex because we were I reckon. We I probably saw him maybe for five six weeks we had sex, and then after that amount of time he had said something and I don't remember what he had said, but he said something where I realized the timeline and the age didn't add up, and I was like, oh, but I thought you had done this by that age. I thought you were over here, you know, you said it that And he was like, oh, oh, like so almost like you got me. He's like, oh, I'm actually my age is incorrect on the dating map.

And I was like, oh, but was it incorrect when you told me your actual age as well?

And I was like, oh, but was it incorrect when you told me your actual age as well?

Exactly? And when he verbalized it, yeah, And it wasn't a couple of years. He was in his late forties, yeah, and it was probably a twelve year line, which I know a lot of you thinking now, which is how twenty two years difference? Well, I know you're thinking now like how did I not see it? But I just didn't because I trusted him. But he looked In my head, I was like, you do look a bit older, but he didn't. Having said that he didn't look as old as his age. Once I knew his late forties, I was like, oh, you don't look that old, but you looked older than what I thought. Yeah, And I just immediately felt so gross. I was like, I just felt ill. I was like, I like, I just so deceptive, Like I slept a true with you, and you probably know I wouldn't have if you had have told me the truth, So that is fucked. But in this situation, I think five years he told you immediately on your very first date at lunch, and if you think he's a great guy, I don't think it's a red flag necessarily. Finnally Joanne McNally, who we've had on the podcast before. She's the Irish comedian. I was listening to her talk about something very similar last week, and she's back on the dating apps. She broke up with a partner. She's back on the dating apps, and she was making a joke about the fact that she wants to lie about her age because she's just clicked over forty. She's like, a couple of years ago on the apps, I was killing it. She's like, now I'm not. I'm not getting the matches, and I've realized why because once you click over. She's like, I think I've clicked over into the forty brackets, so people's age brackets. They're not finding me. She's like, but I look younger than forty, and I act younger than forty, and I want to be younger than forty. She's like, so I wanted to change. She wanted to take a year or two off on the app, just to stay in the thirty bracket to match, just to match with people. But it wouldn't let her because it said she's already changed it twice, which I think is really funny. But when the way she said it, I understood it. I was like, I get that because you don't feel like a forty one or forty two year old, and a lot of people have cut you off at the age of forty because that's what we put in our age bracket.

Exactly? And when he verbalized it, yeah, And it wasn't a couple of years. He was in his late forties, yeah, and it was probably a twelve year line, which I know a lot of you thinking now, which is how twenty two years difference? Well, I know you're thinking now like how did I not see it? But I just didn't because I trusted him. But he looked In my head, I was like, you do look a bit older, but he didn't. Having said that he didn't look as old as his age. Once I knew his late forties, I was like, oh, you don't look that old, but you looked older than what I thought. Yeah, And I just immediately felt so gross. I was like, I just felt ill. I was like, I like, I just so deceptive, Like I slept a true with you, and you probably know I wouldn't have if you had have told me the truth, So that is fucked. But in this situation, I think five years he told you immediately on your very first date at lunch, and if you think he's a great guy, I don't think it's a red flag necessarily. Finnally Joanne McNally, who we've had on the podcast before. She's the Irish comedian. I was listening to her talk about something very similar last week, and she's back on the dating apps. She broke up with a partner. She's back on the dating apps, and she was making a joke about the fact that she wants to lie about her age because she's just clicked over forty. She's like, a couple of years ago on the apps, I was killing it. She's like, now I'm not. I'm not getting the matches, and I've realized why because once you click over. She's like, I think I've clicked over into the forty brackets, so people's age brackets. They're not finding me. She's like, but I look younger than forty, and I act younger than forty, and I want to be younger than forty. She's like, so I wanted to change. She wanted to take a year or two off on the app, just to stay in the thirty bracket to match, just to match with people. But it wouldn't let her because it said she's already changed it twice, which I think is really funny. But when the way she said it, I understood it. I was like, I get that because you don't feel like a forty one or forty two year old, and a lot of people have cut you off at the age of forty because that's what we put in our age bracket.

And you're like, hey, just give me a chance.

And you're like, hey, just give me a chance.

I'm still cool. Yes, I'm here. I agree with you.

I'm still cool. Yes, I'm here. I agree with you.

I think that the variance of a couple of years is not a big deal, and the transparency early on in dating it makes it fine. Your situation, though, Britt is fucked, and that to me is very predatory. That is the man who is like well above a certain age bracket, who is prying on younger girls and knows that if he puts his truthful age bracket in he won't get swiped right too. Like that is clear deception. Whereas this I feel a little bit differently about.

I think that the variance of a couple of years is not a big deal, and the transparency early on in dating it makes it fine. Your situation, though, Britt is fucked, and that to me is very predatory. That is the man who is like well above a certain age bracket, who is prying on younger girls and knows that if he puts his truthful age bracket in he won't get swiped right too. Like that is clear deception. Whereas this I feel a little bit differently about.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I think I personally think it is weird that people lie on dating apps about this sort of stuff, because then you have to have that uncomfortable conversation on a first aid anyway, that's so awkward to me. But I also do understand why people don't feel as though they have to be truthful because they also.

I think I personally think it is weird that people lie on dating apps about this sort of stuff, because then you have to have that uncomfortable conversation on a first aid anyway, that's so awkward to me. But I also do understand why people don't feel as though they have to be truthful because they also.

Feel like they don't owe you anything.

Feel like they don't owe you anything.

Yet they're like, well, I don't know that person, Like, what does it matter to anyone if I say X y Z about myself that is or isn't true. So I kind of there's part of me that has a little bit of an allowance for it, but only to a certain point, and only to a certain point in terms of what's their objective, what are they trying to achieve out of it? And yeah, there's definitely a line that was crossed in your instance.

Yet they're like, well, I don't know that person, Like, what does it matter to anyone if I say X y Z about myself that is or isn't true. So I kind of there's part of me that has a little bit of an allowance for it, but only to a certain point, and only to a certain point in terms of what's their objective, what are they trying to achieve out of it? And yeah, there's definitely a line that was crossed in your instance.

I couldn't call that in I just sneezed my headphones off. I just so lot.

I couldn't call that in I just sneezed my headphones off. I just so lot.

Right.

Right.

Well, I feel like we wrapped on that question anyway. Question number two, Wow, that was hegg I could have just almost orgasm.

Well, I feel like we wrapped on that question anyway. Question number two, Wow, that was hegg I could have just almost orgasm.

Okay, Question two, Oh, it wouldn't be the first time today, I'm actually dizzy.

Okay, Question two, Oh, it wouldn't be the first time today, I'm actually dizzy.

That was a really hard sneeze. I've got a headspin. My partner of two years, he's wonderful, definitely my penguin. We own a house together but currently doing long distance due to work. Has let me know that his X, now they were together for eight years, separated amicably. His ex has been in contact with him, sending lots of one way messages ask him to catch up, and he hasn't replied to any of these, but she has also been in contact with his family and grandparents and has organized to meet up with him in the next few weeks. She's also asked to see him and his mum. He told me straight away and has said that it is completely up to me whether he goes to see her or not. I trust him completely, so it's not like I'm concerned anything's going to happen. But the situation has made me feel really uneasy. I know that eight years is a long time to be in a relationship and that you can get pretty close to family, but to continue to be in contact after two plus years of being separated and continue to organize catch ups does make me feel unsure about the situation. Also, where do I stand with his family because we've always gotten along swimmingly. For context, I live in a different state to him and his family. What should I do? I feel like I really can't be the one to say that she shouldn't be in contact with him and his family anymore, because then I'll be the bad guy. And am I just being insecure about the fact that the ex and my partner's family have a close relationship help wonderful life on cut Wisdom want to put them in.

That was a really hard sneeze. I've got a headspin. My partner of two years, he's wonderful, definitely my penguin. We own a house together but currently doing long distance due to work. Has let me know that his X, now they were together for eight years, separated amicably. His ex has been in contact with him, sending lots of one way messages ask him to catch up, and he hasn't replied to any of these, but she has also been in contact with his family and grandparents and has organized to meet up with him in the next few weeks. She's also asked to see him and his mum. He told me straight away and has said that it is completely up to me whether he goes to see her or not. I trust him completely, so it's not like I'm concerned anything's going to happen. But the situation has made me feel really uneasy. I know that eight years is a long time to be in a relationship and that you can get pretty close to family, but to continue to be in contact after two plus years of being separated and continue to organize catch ups does make me feel unsure about the situation. Also, where do I stand with his family because we've always gotten along swimmingly. For context, I live in a different state to him and his family. What should I do? I feel like I really can't be the one to say that she shouldn't be in contact with him and his family anymore, because then I'll be the bad guy. And am I just being insecure about the fact that the ex and my partner's family have a close relationship help wonderful life on cut Wisdom want to put them in.

Okay, I think it is very important around the context of the messages. Okay, fuck with fairy. No, it is kind of weird. It's weird. It's weird.

Okay, I think it is very important around the context of the messages. Okay, fuck with fairy. No, it is kind of weird. It's weird. It's weird.

I think it's common. I think it is common.

I think it's common. I think it is common.

But I also think that it's okay for you to feel a level of insecurity. I do think that when you start a new relationship with someone or you guys have been together for a long period of time now. Unfortunately for a lot of people, and I know it's not for everyone, when you go through a breakup, you're not just breaking up with that person, you're also breaking up with their family. And I say this because, like I've also had six year relationships I'm still friends with them on Facebook. But I'm not dropping in to hang out with his mum to have morning tea. I think that that would be disrespectful to Matt. So there is sort of an onus to moving on. My question is is if she's sending one way messages, if she's constantly doing the outreach and your boyfriend is not writing back to her, why is she doing it, Because clearly they don't have a friendship. Clearly that friendship is not amicable. It's not as though she's been a constant figure in your life throughout the whole time that you've been in a relationship, and now you're at a point where you're like, I don't want him to be friends with her. This is just spontaneously started happening, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, and that is absolutely okay. You're not a bad guy for verbalizing that. And I think it is odd that after two years of your relationship, she's just spontaneously wanted to come back into the family and come back into everyone's life.

But I also think that it's okay for you to feel a level of insecurity. I do think that when you start a new relationship with someone or you guys have been together for a long period of time now. Unfortunately for a lot of people, and I know it's not for everyone, when you go through a breakup, you're not just breaking up with that person, you're also breaking up with their family. And I say this because, like I've also had six year relationships I'm still friends with them on Facebook. But I'm not dropping in to hang out with his mum to have morning tea. I think that that would be disrespectful to Matt. So there is sort of an onus to moving on. My question is is if she's sending one way messages, if she's constantly doing the outreach and your boyfriend is not writing back to her, why is she doing it, Because clearly they don't have a friendship. Clearly that friendship is not amicable. It's not as though she's been a constant figure in your life throughout the whole time that you've been in a relationship, and now you're at a point where you're like, I don't want him to be friends with her. This is just spontaneously started happening, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, and that is absolutely okay. You're not a bad guy for verbalizing that. And I think it is odd that after two years of your relationship, she's just spontaneously wanted to come back into the family and come back into everyone's life.

So I don't think it's spontaneous. I actually think it's' just like it just says sending lots of one way messages. I reckon really always around there. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean I would be having a conversation.

So I don't think it's spontaneous. I actually think it's' just like it just says sending lots of one way messages. I reckon really always around there. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean I would be having a conversation.

If it makes you feelunomfortable, it makes feel unomfortable, It would probably make me feel that way too. I would have a conversation with my partner, and especially if those messages are one way and he's not writing back, I would want to know what's the context of them, Like is she just writing again, being like hey to.

If it makes you feelunomfortable, it makes feel unomfortable, It would probably make me feel that way too. I would have a conversation with my partner, and especially if those messages are one way and he's not writing back, I would want to know what's the context of them, Like is she just writing again, being like hey to.

Me again, just checking, just outside in the hedge, still waiting for you to come out far Like how do you write a one way?

Me again, just checking, just outside in the hedge, still waiting for you to come out far Like how do you write a one way?

How do you have constant one way conversations with people who aren't writing back to you?

How do you have constant one way conversations with people who aren't writing back to you?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Do I think that he needs to send like a stern hey please dot contact me message?

Do I think that he needs to send like a stern hey please dot contact me message?

Probably not. But at the.

Probably not. But at the.

Same time, I would kind of want to sit down and have a bit more of an unpack with him around the why is she doing that? And what is the context of the messages, so that I felt more at ease. But I will say this, and this is just a personal, little anecdote. When I first started dating Matt, one of his ex girlfriends started messaging and I was like, it's cool, I trust you. Whatever, it's fine. If you want to contact her? Like I was like, nothing untoward is happening here. But I was like, if you want to be in contact with her, that's okay with me. And that's because I was wanting to play cool girl vibes, right. I didn't want to be like yeah, but I mean I was, but but I'm cool. Do you want like totally?

Same time, I would kind of want to sit down and have a bit more of an unpack with him around the why is she doing that? And what is the context of the messages, so that I felt more at ease. But I will say this, and this is just a personal, little anecdote. When I first started dating Matt, one of his ex girlfriends started messaging and I was like, it's cool, I trust you. Whatever, it's fine. If you want to contact her? Like I was like, nothing untoward is happening here. But I was like, if you want to be in contact with her, that's okay with me. And that's because I was wanting to play cool girl vibes, right. I didn't want to be like yeah, but I mean I was, but but I'm cool. Do you want like totally?

I was like, I'm not overbearing, you know, I don't get jealous, but give me her address and I'm going to sit outside her house.

I was like, I'm not overbearing, you know, I don't get jealous, but give me her address and I'm going to sit outside her house.

Yeah, we all know those vibes. I was like, it's so fine. I was like, if you want to message her back, because he showed me the messages and he was like, oh, you know this is happening. And I was like, okay, cool, Like if you want a message her back, like you do you like, I trust you?

Yeah, we all know those vibes. I was like, it's so fine. I was like, if you want to message her back, because he showed me the messages and he was like, oh, you know this is happening. And I was like, okay, cool, Like if you want a message her back, like you do you like, I trust you?

It's fine.

It's fine.

I remember I went to bed that night and I was like so in my head, I was like, this is fine.

I remember I went to bed that night and I was like so in my head, I was like, this is fine.

I was so not cool.

I was so not cool.

I was so far from being cool.

I was so far from being cool.

I was so far from being cool, and it really like kept me up all night. And the reason is is because like that is exactly the sort of shit that would happen in my past relationships. And then it led to me of being a place of being insecure, and I was like, okay, I feel like I need to communicate this with him and either stamp this out or have a bit more clarity around it. So in the morning I woke up and I was like, Matt, I just want to talk to you about the messages and about what I said last night, because I know I said I was okay with it, but I'm not not okay with it, but it does make me feel insecure. And his response was, well, thank fuck for that, because I thought you were an absolute weirdo. He was like, I was so confused that you were so cool with it that it made me think you didn't care.

I was so far from being cool, and it really like kept me up all night. And the reason is is because like that is exactly the sort of shit that would happen in my past relationships. And then it led to me of being a place of being insecure, and I was like, okay, I feel like I need to communicate this with him and either stamp this out or have a bit more clarity around it. So in the morning I woke up and I was like, Matt, I just want to talk to you about the messages and about what I said last night, because I know I said I was okay with it, but I'm not not okay with it, but it does make me feel insecure. And his response was, well, thank fuck for that, because I thought you were an absolute weirdo. He was like, I was so confused that you were so cool with it that it made me think you didn't care.

He's like, it was weird.

He's like, it was weird.

To me that you are fine with this, and I was like, ah, okay, like cool because I'm not okay.

To me that you are fine with this, and I was like, ah, okay, like cool because I'm not okay.

I was like, oh so now I can show my crazy. Yeah. I was like, this is no.

I was like, oh so now I can show my crazy. Yeah. I was like, this is no.

I was like, I'm so far from being okay with this. I'm so sorry. And he wrote back to her and it was like, hey, you know what, like we're done. I have a relationship now, and like, out of respect to like, let's just you know, put some distance here.

I was like, I'm so far from being okay with this. I'm so sorry. And he wrote back to her and it was like, hey, you know what, like we're done. I have a relationship now, and like, out of respect to like, let's just you know, put some distance here.

Yeah, and he handled it perfectly. Look, I think this happens a lot because I think you do get really close to a family when you're with them for eight years, like that is a really, really long time, and I understand the wanting to keep those connections. So I still have a relationship with my ex of eight years with his sister because we actually get along, we're friends. We would still hang out, we still will talk.

Yeah, and he handled it perfectly. Look, I think this happens a lot because I think you do get really close to a family when you're with them for eight years, like that is a really, really long time, and I understand the wanting to keep those connections. So I still have a relationship with my ex of eight years with his sister because we actually get along, we're friends. We would still hang out, we still will talk.

It's different, though, is it going around having cup of tea with the mum?

It's different, though, is it going around having cup of tea with the mum?

Is it though it's still a family member. It's actually she's closer to him than the mum in all honesty. But what I say is we're not best is we don't hang out all the time, and we hang out as a friendship. I don't hang out out and try and get information from her, and I don't say telling my set hi like I'm not infiltrating his life. There's a high chance he probably doesn't even know how often we would catch up, and I think that's okay. I also think it's probably okay if she wants to maintain this relationship with his family. But I think she doesn't need to maintain a relationship with your partner with her ex, like it's okay to want to check in on a family that you were close to for nearly a decade because you care about those people. I feel like there's more to it, just from the fact that you said she's constantly sending these messages and he's not responding. It makes me feel like she hasn't maybe quite let go, and this is I'm stretched out a stretch. I've got no information here, But why else are you consistently sending messages to catch up with your exit when he's not responding. What I would do, genuinely is I don't think it's fair for your partner to put the decision on you. You tell me if I can meet her or not, and I'll do it, because I just think that never works. The time will come where it'll be used in a conversation or like you never let me do that, or you control me, or I did this for you, Like I just feel like that stuff shouldn't be your decision. I would tell him how it makes you feel and then let him make the decision, So I would. Once he knows, then that's on him. You say, Look, I get that she wants to spend time with your family, like decades a long time. I understand that they have a love for each other. It makes me feel a bit uneasy you meeting up with her, if I'm being honest, because I feel like we've got our own life now and I don't see what you've got to gain from it. I've been thinking about this and it doesn't sit right with me. But I never want to tell you what to do, so I want you to do whatever you feel like knowing that information, and that's what I would do. I agree.

Is it though it's still a family member. It's actually she's closer to him than the mum in all honesty. But what I say is we're not best is we don't hang out all the time, and we hang out as a friendship. I don't hang out out and try and get information from her, and I don't say telling my set hi like I'm not infiltrating his life. There's a high chance he probably doesn't even know how often we would catch up, and I think that's okay. I also think it's probably okay if she wants to maintain this relationship with his family. But I think she doesn't need to maintain a relationship with your partner with her ex, like it's okay to want to check in on a family that you were close to for nearly a decade because you care about those people. I feel like there's more to it, just from the fact that you said she's constantly sending these messages and he's not responding. It makes me feel like she hasn't maybe quite let go, and this is I'm stretched out a stretch. I've got no information here, But why else are you consistently sending messages to catch up with your exit when he's not responding. What I would do, genuinely is I don't think it's fair for your partner to put the decision on you. You tell me if I can meet her or not, and I'll do it, because I just think that never works. The time will come where it'll be used in a conversation or like you never let me do that, or you control me, or I did this for you, Like I just feel like that stuff shouldn't be your decision. I would tell him how it makes you feel and then let him make the decision, So I would. Once he knows, then that's on him. You say, Look, I get that she wants to spend time with your family, like decades a long time. I understand that they have a love for each other. It makes me feel a bit uneasy you meeting up with her, if I'm being honest, because I feel like we've got our own life now and I don't see what you've got to gain from it. I've been thinking about this and it doesn't sit right with me. But I never want to tell you what to do, so I want you to do whatever you feel like knowing that information, and that's what I would do. I agree.

I mean it's tricky because you know, we often say it is possible to still be friends with an X.

I mean it's tricky because you know, we often say it is possible to still be friends with an X.

That is possible.

That is possible.

However, it's not possible if it makes your partner feel completely uncomfortable, if it's a situation where it feels like the text messaging that's coming in though, like requesting to meet up that is overbearing, or it infiltrates your relationship, like you have to be totally fine with it. And I think also the only way to actually be totally fine with it would be if you had also met the ex, if you had been brought into this relationship. But the reason why you feel so shit is because you're still triangulated. She's like, hey, I want to catch up with you, and hey, I want to see your family. But she's not like, oh my god, it would be so nice to meet your new girlfriend. You're not friends, you know what I mean. And that's the thing that's kind of weird, and it would make you feel insecure.

However, it's not possible if it makes your partner feel completely uncomfortable, if it's a situation where it feels like the text messaging that's coming in though, like requesting to meet up that is overbearing, or it infiltrates your relationship, like you have to be totally fine with it. And I think also the only way to actually be totally fine with it would be if you had also met the ex, if you had been brought into this relationship. But the reason why you feel so shit is because you're still triangulated. She's like, hey, I want to catch up with you, and hey, I want to see your family. But she's not like, oh my god, it would be so nice to meet your new girlfriend. You're not friends, you know what I mean. And that's the thing that's kind of weird, and it would make you feel insecure.

But there's also the fact that like, you're in a different state, so cool, You're in a different state alone while your partner, his ex, his entire family or hanging out together, Like, of course, it's not going to sit right with you.

But there's also the fact that like, you're in a different state, so cool, You're in a different state alone while your partner, his ex, his entire family or hanging out together, Like, of course, it's not going to sit right with you.

And also, I think if you take anything from my story, it's okay to not always be the cool girl. It's okay to say that something makes you feel uncomfortable. And I know would never want to seem like we're being irrational, or we're being overbearing, or we're telling our partners what to do. But it is absolutely fine to communicate something that doesn't make you feel okay. And if I was in your situation, this would make me feel uncomfortable as well. It has all the ingredients to breed in security in you. And so even though he has been totally honest, it does come down to the way he manages it and not putting it on you to make decisions for him, but him being like, you know what, that was part of my past, and as much as I respect her, I want to make sure that my new relationship feels totally safe and appreciated and valued and all those things. And so I would absolutely be having this conversation with him, and you know what, he might turn around and be like, yeah, I just wanted you to have that. I wanted that validity from you as well. I'm gonna tell her, actually it's not appropriate.

And also, I think if you take anything from my story, it's okay to not always be the cool girl. It's okay to say that something makes you feel uncomfortable. And I know would never want to seem like we're being irrational, or we're being overbearing, or we're telling our partners what to do. But it is absolutely fine to communicate something that doesn't make you feel okay. And if I was in your situation, this would make me feel uncomfortable as well. It has all the ingredients to breed in security in you. And so even though he has been totally honest, it does come down to the way he manages it and not putting it on you to make decisions for him, but him being like, you know what, that was part of my past, and as much as I respect her, I want to make sure that my new relationship feels totally safe and appreciated and valued and all those things. And so I would absolutely be having this conversation with him, and you know what, he might turn around and be like, yeah, I just wanted you to have that. I wanted that validity from you as well. I'm gonna tell her, actually it's not appropriate.

The end. That's the walk on to my ted top. Okay, thanks, bye, okay, thanks bye okay. Question three. The most recent podcast about pregnancy and childbirth got my boyfriend and I talking about what we're gonna do when we're in that situation. He just told me that he doesn't know if he'll be able to watch me give birth. Is that a normal reaction for men. I'm so offended that he wouldn't want to watch me, but I also think when he's actually in that situation, it could be different thoughts, feelings. Shut the fuck up me, no, him, shut up. Shut up.