Dear Mapaseka
I’ve been thinking a lot about how quickly people can form opinions about you.
I recently started seeing someone who, on paper, seemed like a good match.
He presented himself as family-oriented, grounded, and open-minded.
When I shared that I’m a mother, he reassured me that it wasn’t an issue.
Things were going well until he came to visit me in my space for the first time.
That afternoon, I was outside with a friend while the kids played nearby. It was relaxed.
It was home. It was familiar. But instead of greeting me, he reacted strongly to what he
saw. He expressed disapproval about adults having a drink while children are present.
He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t try to understand the context. He simply made his
judgement clear and left. After that, communication stopped. Now I’m sitting with this
question: When two people come from different environments and value systems,
how do you know whether it’s a dealbreaker... or just a misunderstanding that needed
a conversation? Did he overreact? Or did we simply see parenting and lifestyle
through completely different lenses? I’m trying to decide whether I was rejected...
or redirected.