Dear Mapaseka
My husband and I got married in 2024 and we are expecting our first child in September.
In June this year we shall be celebrating our 2nd year wedding anniversary.
We buried my husband’s brother a month ago; he was in a car accident. The entire family
is still in shock. He was living with his 2 teenage sons who are both in high school.
Since the burial they have been living with us with an understanding that they would go to
their maternal grandmother after everything has settled; as she lives in the same province
as us.
My husband met with his family without me and they have decided that the boys should
live with us. He informed me of the decision without any consultation. I know him to be a
Considerate person but now I am very disappointed that he did not bother to consider
My feelings and instead says i need to stop being selfish and think about the boys.
His parents live in another province and are not putting their hands up to take over; he also
Has a sister that has teenagers in her house. She is refusing to take over.
One of the boys is already in and out of rehab due to alcohol; this is the same addiction
their mother is dealing with and she lives with her boyfriend and shows no interest to
care for them.
I am willing to have them over for school holidays but not to move in with us.
Our marriage is quite young; i am a 28 year old woman with no interest of raising
Teenage boys and I simply want to focus on my pregnancy, new marriage and work.
We both travel a lot with work and i truly don't want to deal with a troubled teenager;
the other boy is a homebody but struggling at school. I feel incredibly strained at
4 months pregnant and feel that my grieving husband is thinking only of himself.
I only want to raise my own children. Am I selfish; how do I resolve this?
MASHUDU