Dear Mapaseka
I’m writing because my heart is heavy. I was in a relationship for over 11 years, and when my ex partner passed away in 2019 February, I discovered that he had been
HIV positive and unfaithful for 2 years. That truth broke me, but I was relieved when
my test came back negative.
In January 2020, I met someone new. We’ve been together since then. He knew
about my fear of HIV. He knew how often I checked my status. He kept telling me
he didn’t need to test because he was only with me. I trusted him with my whole
Heart. Then in July last year, after feeling unwell, I went for a check-up and I found
out I am HIV Positive. I felt my world collapse in that room. I thought of my children
who still need me, my cousin who depends on me — and I knew killing myself was
not an option, even though the pain was unbearable. I started treatment immediately,
but emotionally I’m still struggling.
I am angry. I am hurt. I am heartbroken that someone I loved and trusted could bring
this situation. I stopped family planning so we could use protection, but inside,
everything has changed. Every time I take my medication, I feel a wave of sadness
and betrayal. My love for him is dying, and I asked for a breakup because I couldn’t
bring myself to tell him the real reason.
I have pulled away from people. I don’t go out. I’m scared of being judged, scared
of hurting anyone else, scared of starting over. I feel like I’m carrying stones, and it’s
destroying me slowly.
I need guidance. How does one move on from this?I’m trying to be strong, but
I am tired and confused.
BUHLE

Dear Mapaseka I&rsquo;m writing because my heart is heavy. I was in a relationship for over 11 years, and&nbsp;when my ex partner passed away in 2019 February, I discovered that he had been HIV positive and unfaithful for 2 years. That truth broke me, but I was relieved when my test came back negative. In January 2020, I met someone new. We&rsquo;ve been together since then. He knew about my fear of HIV. He knew how often I checked my status. He kept telling me he didn&rsquo;t need to test because he was only with me. I trusted him with my whole Heart. Then in July last year, after feeling unwell, I went for a check-up and I found out I am HIV Positive. I felt my world collapse in that room. I thought of my children who still need me, my cousin who depends on me &mdash; and I knew killing myself was not an option, even though the pain was unbearable. I started treatment immediately, but emotionally I&rsquo;m still struggling. I am angry. I am hurt. I am heartbroken that someone I loved and trusted could bring this situation. I stopped family planning so we could use protection, but inside, everything has changed. Every time I take my medication, I feel a wave of sadness and betrayal. My love for him is dying, and I asked for a breakup because I couldn&rsquo;t bring myself to tell him the real reason. I have pulled away from people. I don&rsquo;t go out. I&rsquo;m scared of being judged, scared of hurting anyone else, scared of starting over. I feel like I&rsquo;m carrying stones, and it&rsquo;s destroying me slowly. I need guidance. How does one move on from this?I&rsquo;m trying to be strong, but I am tired and confused. BUHLE

Radio 2000 Podcast www.radio2000.co.za

Life, Love And All

The show, ‘Life, Love and All’ will cover different daily themes such as leadership, family relationships, spirituality, navigating the generational gap, new age parenting, consumer rights, sexual education and many more.  Who are you? What makes you tick? What are your struggles? What’s important to you? Family? Love? Money? Your health? Mapaseka Mokwele explores the intricate aspects of Life Love and All.

Every Monday to Thursday, from 7 to 9pm, on Radio 2000

The show, &lsquo;Life, Love and All&rsquo;&nbsp;will cover different daily themes such as leadership, family relationships, spirituality, navigating the generational gap, new age parenting, consumer rights, sexual education and many more. &nbsp;Who are you? What makes you tick? What are your struggles? What&rsquo;s important to you? Family? Love? Money? Your health?&nbsp;Mapaseka Mokwele explores the intricate aspects of Life Love and All.
Every Monday to Thursday, from 7 to 9pm, on Radio 2000

#Life, Love And All

THE LETTER - ( GUEST: BRIAN MHLANGA – Life and Leadership Coach WWW.BRIANMHLANGA.COM & REITUMETSI MTHEMBU – Registered Counselor COUNSELLING WITH REITUMETSI:INFO@REITUMETSEWELLNESS.CO.ZA

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