Dear Mapaseka
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for three years, and until recently, I thought we had a good relationship.
But something happened that made me question everything. A few weeks ago, I fell terribly ill. I was in so
much pain that I could barely get out of bed. Since we don’t live together, I called my boyfriend and asked
him to take me to the emergency room.
He told me it was a tricky day because he had a few things planned and was hosting the boys later that
evening. He suggested I call an ambulance or get an Uber instead.
I was shocked, but I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. I don’t have family in the area, so I called
a colleague who has also become a good friend. She came to fetch me, took me to the emergency room,
stayed with me the entire time and made sure I got home safely.
The following day, my boyfriend called and casually asked, “So, how did it go? Did they give you
something for the pain?” Something inside me just switched off, and I told him I wanted to end the
relationship.
Now he’s upset and says I’m being unreasonable. He can’t understand how I could throw away three
years over one incident. According to him, he’s always been a good boyfriend, and I’m making a big deal
out of one day when he wasn’t available.
But I see things differently. That experience showed me the kind of partner I would be relying on if life got
really difficult, and I’m not sure that’s the man I want to build a future with. Am I being too harsh?
Can one incident really be enough to end an otherwise good three-year relationship?