Tracy T. Rowe and Cara Pressley are bringing themselves to the table to unravel their thoughts and emotions surrounding the bombshell Red Table Talk episode that uncovered the remaining details of the Breonna Taylor tragedy. Let’s Red Table That hosts are also welcoming spoken word artists Arielle Estoria and Roscoe Burnems to perform poetry they’ve created in response to unjust Black deaths. Come, heal, and receive hope in this episode of Let’s Red Table That.
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LET’S RED TABLE THAT is produced by Red Table Talk Podcasts. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Jada Pinkett Smith, Fallon Jethroe and Ellen Rakieten. PRODUCER Kyla Carneiro. ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Yolanda Chow. EDITOR AND AUDIO MIXER Stepfanie Aguilar. MUSIC from Epidemic Sound. LET’S RED TABLE THAT is in partnership with iHeartRadio.
Hey y'all, Hey, what's up? And welcome to Let's Red Table that I'm Tracy t Brow and I'm Cara Pressley, and man, this episode, I just I'm excited to be bad with our L T. T family. But it's Brianna Taylor and how can you say her name without reaction, without emotion? Wow, it's a lot. First of all, it's hard as it was until we watched this episode, and to see all that we saw, I'm so grateful that they brought it to the table as they definitely need their voice. Heard all of them, every single family member. It was nice to see she was a girlfriend, she was a sister, she was a daughter. Because I think we hear the name and kind of disassociate. Some people may think it's just a one off situation, but it happens truly more than we know. And Cara in saying that at the end of the episode, I truly didn't know some of the names that been Crump said, I was so who is that? Right? Right now? Let me do my additional research, right And I was so angry. Now you know what, angry is not hard enough. Angry does not convey the frustration enough. I was living I was lava hot because I just thought, really, while I'm at home asleep that part. But I was happy to hear from boyfriends. There were some pieces of just the story and how it transpired I heard as well for the first time. For the first time, right, we knew, but we didn't know, and what it took to get those charges dismissed for him, the fact that he missed her funeral, That it was so many other pieces I was upset about, Okay, because to know that the disrespect for her life and the absolute disrespect shown to her mother, right, and that he wasn't told what happened. He had to see it on the news on TV. Okay, that while you're being processed, jail is already its own stressful situation. Now see, I'm gonna tell you something, car, I don't know nothing about jail. I don't know much about it. I haven't been there, but I do know it's it's not the happiest of places. Okay. Okay, you were saying that, like, I'm like, Okay, now do we need to talk about that, because you're like jealous. Already not happened, Like I don't know about jail. I know based on what. I understand that people are not happy about going to jail, So you're right that part. I was not trying to imply to you were a jailbird. That's not what I'm saying. I was just like you speaking the first person. So I want to honor that right. I know, I completely understand, but I just couldn't. I can't fathom, really, that's really what I want to say, like just to be grieving and then he's like freshly grieving, state of shock that part right, and being processed, and even after you understand what's going on, I can't go to any services. I mean, the whole thing had to be absolutely surreal for him, poor Kenneth. And then to that, no matter how much healing you go through and in the journey of that and how much progress in healing he makes, there's still the fight. There's still the civil fight, there's still all of these things that are just lingering on that make it so difficult. And that was just grieving me. I felt the burden of that, the weight of that for him, on top of having your last moments alone. I think about Brianna often and just even when the mom heard the officers tell her like she's still upstairs. There's so many pieces, there's layers to this one. It's just a lot. I can say this, and I've said this and almost every episode because we've had such a full weighted season with Red Table Talk, because we've had so many important topics that have been brought to the table absolutely necessary conversations. And this one, I think is even more powerful to me because I heard it at the table right because there were black women and black mothers and black daughters and sisters and cousins that we know are at the table in Jada and Gammy and Willow. That made it important for them to be in the safe space of the table to tell this story and then to share all these details that were not readily available to the public, all of the blatant disregard and disrespect and just lack of concern. And as much as we love to talk and have fun, it is important that our platform also gives some important awareness to the injustices that are happening in this country, and this Briana Taylor's story is one one of them. And the fact that they are still fighting to date for her, still fighting makes me sick to my summit. To tell you the truth fighting and that the corruption in the office is finally coming out, because that's the impressed sit in the part in a sad way that many times it just continues to stay covered up. This is the part that makes me want to literally, Okay, the governor, you see both of us. All we could do is say, the governor, really, these are officials. No, you know what, Okay, you know what. I know that you do your level best card to try to see the glass had fool and look on the sunny side. And the little blue bird, the little blue bird sings on your shoulder. I get it. I get it. However, Comma, the governor Kentucky is a black man. He is a black man, and the fact that the corruption went all the way up to him and that he covered it vile. And then he has the unmitigated goal to run for office again. Sorry, if you don't go take it's the audacity for me. I mean, don't have speechless, seriously, speech again. These are elected officials that we're supposed to be able to trust. And how it works long ago and far away, long ago and far away in the Luther band drops for us. Okay, come on now in the far away lands. We used to believe that when you had people that were the same skin, that they were kin, that they looked out for you. There was a whole neighborhood, the village, the whole mentality that people that were alike supported each other supposed to be. But the great Michael Jackson made a song about It's called they don't care about Us, and that's on so many levels. It's the first time I learned that it is. Unfortunately it is accurate. We're not gonna talk about the current people who got the initial c oh not giving that person any credit or no no time. But I will talk about the other person's name that starts with the sea, and that's Supreme Court Justice Aarence Thomas. That was the first lesson for me. That was the first lesson for me, car when I realized what he was really about, I was like, this fan has just broken my heart right and was like confused about it. Clarence Thomas, I was younger and working in corporate. Those are two instances that have me just realized everyone is not on the same wave length as you. Everyone does not think the same way, and you cannot convince them to change. We gotta have some change though we've got to do at some point. There has to be some change. So when you think about you hear stories like Brianna Taylor, what is your mental and emotional journey as you process what happened Carl? The first thing I think is that could have been me, especially when it's women and we don't see it many times. But between this and Sandra Bland, in the initial moment, I think, man, that could have been me. But then I think about my son like it just starts to run a certain strand of anxiety through my mind anytime the situation happens. But processing I try to put down the phone and not scroll as much during those times, or weights a little while so that some more details can come out, because you don't want to be overexposed and desensitized at the same time. And the overexposed really though, that's the main part, because I don't want to be oversaddened by it's it's something to hit you in your core. But what about your tracy? How do you process? They make me so angry. I have an activist spirit, like there's an activist animal, like the intercore of me. I want things to be well because it's just wrong. Wrong is wrong, no matter how you slice it. And so I know that the only way that we can correct wrongs in our country is through legislation and by being active. This whole term, this whole season, our whole country, all of it. To your point, we've had so much information, we have numbed out and the Yana Van's Aunt's way of saying, neck down dead, you know that people have really truly been decessitized because we have access to so much information. And because of that, I think that you either scroll past it or you're so hyper sensitive to it that there's no kind of meeting in the middle of it. So what I've tried to do is honor how I feel when I see things that happened like Brianna Taylor's story, and it's unfortunate that this was not an exception, right, this wasn't an asterisk and ad hoc. You know what I'm saying that this has happened so many times. It's that I have to just allow myself to feel how I feel. And this is truly going to like the feeling wheel of it and saying, Okay, now how do I really feel? Because you can I'm mad, Well, no, how do I really feel about it? Because this could have been my little sister, this could have been my daughter, and the hurt and are the hurt, And then I have to change the hurt to action and make sure that I am being part of the solution and not just talking about oh yeah, that's perfect, that that's that's really important. As we continue to get upset out here and just again continue to not be able to fathom howard feeling that it's happening, like the unbelief of it all, we have to make sure we're self assessed and go out here with the right perspective. And for me, the key is to ensure that I keep myself current on what's happening, or as current as I possibly can, and then to make sure that when I'm in settings where I'm with peers or more over and more importantly with younger family members car that I am stressing the importance to them that it is okay for you to have a voice, but you need to know how to use the voice and when it is appropriate. And then too, there's so many stories we hear in the media now about gun violence and deaths and murders, and it's it's hard it's hard to hear all these stories of black deaths. As you said, we're all trying to take things in our own hands. You got your own freedom fighters out here. But I have to continue to protect ourselves mentally, spiritually, emotionally from all these things. How do you protect yourself from additional trauma when news stories of black deaths appear in your news feed when you're scrolling, how do you prioritize your own piece well, also being outspoken? Yeah, you do know that outspoken part? Then I guess, oh, we see it. Actually, y'all follow Trady t bro It's it's hard, it really is, and there's a sadness. And so peace in the midst of chaos has to be intentional, right, it has to be intentional. And so part of what I try to do as a daily practice, in addition to my affirmations for myself, is to focus in. And I listened to a five to eight frequency that's a healing frequency. And it's a healing frequency. I think I've I think I've seen it referred to as a love frequency. Okay, well, healing and love, you know, I can see how, Yes, I do I try, And so speaking of that, I try to make sure that I don't know what the people are that are called and shout out to y'all that are in the crystals and stuff. I love that, but I don't practice it, but I appreciate it. I guess that's the way to say it. And so in terms of chakra, because of the way I am, my heart chakra is always needing some care. I go to sleep at night. To answer your question, long, long, long story short, I listened to that by to eight frequency at night before I go sleep. Good. I love a good sleep meditation. Y'all listening to me trying to eight listen. I prefer a nice guided meditation sometimes because my mind will tell my mom started looking like the social train scramble board. I just just thoughts everywhere was so train. So yes, I have to kind of pull my scrambled thoughts. And then that's the other part. We find a way to laugh, We find a way to release and to have some some spark. There's a golden thread inside everywheb and so find an opportunity to make a connection and to somehow get some joy out of your day. Every day. That's every day amazing. That's what that is. This red Table Talk episode was important and impactful, but it was also heartbreaking and possibly triggering for people. So with our episode, we wanted to give our community a gift, which means we're doing things a little differently today. We don't have a guest, but we do have some stories from our community, some resources for you, and performances by black spoken word artists who are taking tragedy and turning it into art. You know, I love that because while we started out, it's like back to the future. Right, this is great. It's been a while since it's just been the two of us, and I love, love, love having guests on right. I am looking forward to us having this episode in this format too, So absolutely, let's get into it. We've received some emails specifically in response to Red Table Talks Brianna Taylor episode, and we're going to share these stories with you. Emily wrote that Brianna's story resonates with her because she has endured a four year long battle in court waiting for her father's murderer to be held accountable. She says, our voices weren't heard so many let downs from the state who represented my dead father to the very end. They played with our emotions that is hurtful as well when you hear different stories. I just it to speak directly to Emily to thank you for sharing with us, thank you for being with us, and then we recognize that our voices are not heard right and I want to sincerely share my sympathy with you and with your family for the loss and the tragic loss of your father. It's just horrible. It's horrible. And then have someone literally put you in a position where you have to watch, you have to bear witness to them not honoring what they know to be true, and then not give you in your family justice. It's horrible. It just gets heavy. Story after story after story. We're just gonna keep pressing forward. But thank you Emily for sharing. We do hear you, we do thank you, and we had another share and I'm so grateful to Emily and to Katisha. Katisha brought to our attention a recent tragedy. On October six, Jahim McMillan, a fifteen year old black teenager, was shot by police and Gulfport, Mississippi, and the parking lot of a family dollar store. McMillan's mother said that when she arrived at the store after her son was shot. Officers handcuffed her and walked her across the street. In her email, Katitia says, we have been protesting. Stuff like this happens in Mississippi often and nothing gets done about it. I'm so fed up. I'm speechless. First of all, I am I'm absolutely speechless. There's so much I want to talk about. But I want to say this that you can read more about Jaheem and our episode description or online in The Guardian, ABC News or other news channels. And I encourage you to do that because you think about this now. Car Your son's twenty, my son's forty, Your son has gone to family dollar gets shot. You show up, I show up on a scene, and then we're handcuffed and walked across the street. Why are you handcuffing me? It's the assuming that I'm wrong for me? Why am I handcuffed? I'm a human, I'm a mother whose son was shot. And I am grateful that people are protesting. I am grateful to hear that. And I wish you, Emily and your family justice and Jaheim McMillan's family absolute justice. Thank you so much, Emily and Katitia for writing into us. Yes, thank you both, and you can send us an email at Let's Red Table that at red table talk dot com, or sound off on our speak Pipe page at speak pipe dot com slash Let's Red Table that we are always here to listen to what you have to say, the virtual Red Table. That's what it's all about. It's time for our first spoken word piece. This is poet, author and speaker ri l a story in Her Peace, Remember Her? Hi everyone, my name is Ariel Astoria. I'm a multi passionate artist, poet, author and actor. For me, turning tragedy into art means that I am feeling and feeling deeply. I often think that art is birthed out of tragedy oftentimes, and it's in those moments when we feel and feel deeply, when we experience grief and pain that we cannot help but exude something beautiful. That's our This first piece I will be sharing with you is titled Remember Her. I wrote this poem in honor of Brianna Taylor. Say Name, Say you say sayame? Be be? Oh, say name? Where is her protest? Where is the rage burning for the female body? Not televised, not recorded? Her death? Not a silent act A violent exchange, a bullet to skin eight times, her screams, her cry still echoing in the walls of an apartment months home now a battle ground. She was a brief moment, a hashtag, her life, a brief moment, the fury diminished to fuse her murderer's homesteading comfortably, her body home, sitting unrest underground. Do not forget about the black woman. Do not forget about the chest that kept you in, the hands that held you. They say seven is the number of completion. So the irony of you not experiencing your twenty seventh birthday sits as acidic as the blood seeped into your apartment carpets. We are one year apart. Seven was the year I found myself. Was a year I found how to re speak the name God on my tongue, The year I found love, the year I lived life to the fullest. Your life cut short, unplugged, wiped from the story. I pray you lived your best year. I pray you found yourself before you lost her. I pray that as the bullets hit you, that God held you all in the same breath while you breathe your last breath. I'm sorry your life could not have been seen, this fullness could not have reached completion. Your body may be buried, love, but your name will not be. Okay, first, I gotta get myself together, because you know I'm over here wiping away tears. You know I'm grateful for tears, because hey, it lets me know that I can mourn. I can. I can mourn her, and I can say aloud, Brianna Taylor, I miss you and you mattered, your life mattered, And it is just hard. It's hard to be in a position where you hear such profound words. And that spoken word was beautiful. It spoke to what happened, the tray chick horrific death and her short life, short short, twenty six years is no time. And I literally it hit me. I could have been her mother and anti god mother, co worker. I have a niece named Brianna, Oh, and she is in that same age group. It just hit me and it hurts. But I am so grateful too to hear it and the habit delivered in such a beautiful and eloquent way that this spoken word was delivered, so that the tragic, the trag I mean, I just keep saying that word literally but it is necessary to be able to articulate it in more than one way. Absolutely, And so I'm grateful for this artist that she was able to to give us that, because if any other one person hears it, who doesn't understand the plight of Brianna Taylor's family or mother and doesn't have the opportunity to say, Okay, what happened, it was an accident, or try to somehow minimize the experience when you hear that, there's no way to deny it. Yeah, it's I want to say, these situations are harder than a random shooting or because this is the cause and from officials that we trust, and the further we get into our future, the more we need to continually say that the good guys do not always just wear the uniform. They're not just always coming to save the day. And and I think that's the harder place for people who are the upstanding citizen and trying to look at the bright side of things, like myself, because the true side is that the bright side can be the dark side to how do I tell my grandson and granddaughter you really can't trust every police officer that part when they're supposed to protect and serve. How do you say that? But we do have to acknowledge it because it's the truth. What do you how do you give them that? How do they even process that? How do you reconcile that with? Okay, I know I'm supposed to call the police if something happens, but I can't trust the police. Will the police see me? That's why the movie When They See Us was so important. Those were truly babies. Brianna was still a baby. Mm hmm. Yeah. This that was That was a beautiful piece, absolutely beautiful. Okay, I've got to get myself together, so we're gonna take a quick break, but when we get back, we'll be sharing seven ways you can make a difference in the world today. And I'm gonna blow my note okay for you. Here are seven ways you can make an impact. This is so important. I'm excited about these because we are all trying to make an impact where we can number one, vote, vote, vote and vote and vote and vote in every election. Okay, stop just waiting on the big ones. Vote for all the people, all the offices, national Okay votes, y'all. This is one of the most important ways for our voices to be heard the twenties two United States and mid term elections are on November eight, not the seventh, not the ninth. Eight. Register to vote and find early voting locations in your state at vote dot org. Another great way to support the movement is to volunteer to register voters. That part, and I'm gonna tell you what, you also need to go to vote dot org and check your registration status. Why we're talking about that because I am emphatic, as you almost know. If you have not followed me, then you haven't seen it. But if you do, you know that I talked about how important it is to be registered, informed, and engaged. But what I can tell you is that there are literally examples when I was registering voters where current voters have been purged out of the system and long term non voters were still active. So go to vote dot org and make sure you check your status before it's time for you to go and vote, because it will be too late if you don't. Number two, donate, donate, donate, Donate to causes that need funding, and especially look for grassroots organizations that may need more help than national organizations. Oh that's a good one. I love to donate locally right people you actually see in your community. Super important. Number three, support families directly. You can usually find crowdsource campaigns online when a tragedy occurs, so just triple check that the campaign is legit and that the money will go straight to the effective family. So she researched. That's good. Number four. Show up to a protest. Yes. Protests are so incredibly important to the visibility and success of civil rights campaigns. Carr, have you ever participating in the protest? Yes? Actually led a protest? Yeah, I did when Trayvon Martin had his tragedy, unfortunately a few years ago. And I say a few because it literally feels like it's still just happens. But the ironic parties. He was born on my birthday and died on my son's birthday. Um, just the dates, and we just were like, oh, we have to do something about this. So I got my son and my nephew, we made posters and we filled out all the city paperwork and we went out there and we had about a thousand people coming. We were on the front page of the paper, the Richmond Times Dispatch. So shout out to my city for supporting me and I'm happy I was able to do that. It was super important at the time because my son likes skills. I like skills. I just it was It's bigger than the candy and the small nuances of the case, but it was. It just touched home. That's fantastic. I don't know what I asked them. I think I know the answer. What do you think I was gonna say? Tony Brackton sang a song about it. You want to hear it? Here you go? How many ways? Right? Number five? Educate yourself, read a book, listen to a podcast, whichever way you learn best. Just make sure you know the correct history and do the work to combat your own prejudices. Yes, that's super important, especially in the day of the scroll. We will scroll past just the heading and think we got the whole articles. So thank you got the whole shebanging. And we're also super creative. We can create stories just from your headlines. It's like, okay, no, that's not what that was. So make sure you read research and learn. Yes. Number six shot from BIPOP creator and business owners. BIPOC stands for Black Indigenous People of color. Where and who you are shopping from matters you can use directories like support Black Owned to find black owned businesses in your area at support Black Owned dot Com. I love that. So, Cora, what are you some of your favorite black owned businesses? Oh Man, that's a few locally. I love them. Clothing business, it feels good to say men wearing black owned clothes. So shout out to Redborn Kings, shout out to Pretty Monster Zoo. That's one of my girlfriends who has her own T shirt line, Very Bold t Shirts and Mama Joe's collection. I love them. They're all local in the DMV and Richmond areas. What about you? There's so many fantastic black owned businesses, and I have to be intentional and and shout out three black owned businesses that are local to Memphis and that are women lead. One is Virtual Busions Brand at ww up your dot bb brand dot com. They do brand management for projects and virtual assistance. I absolutely adore Pops Colonel Gourmet Popcorn. I actually gave some of that popcorn to Jada last year when we came to Calabasas at Pops Colonels dot com. And then No Definition Streetwear is phenomenal. She started this business and has just taken off with no definition dot com. It's street where it's jeans, it's sweats, it's t shirts, it's earrings, and she makes all of them herself. Phenomenal black owned businesses. Check them out. Love that love that. We all like to look at the snacks. So I need to come back to Memphis. This is what I'm hearing right that eats eats number seven last, but definitely not least. Sign petitions. So whenever you see one, take two minutes out of your day to read about it and sign it if you definitely agree with it. We have a list of impactful petitions you can sign today, organizations you can donate to, and transfer woman of books to read all In our episode description, I'm super excited to introduce our next spoken word artist because he is the first poet laureate from my hometown of Richmond, Virginia, Roscoe Burnham's. He is here with his peace metaphysics, one on one for white privilege. I am Douglas Powell, artistically known as Roscoe Burnham's, and I am the first poet laureate of Richardmond, Virginia. Using trauma as a vehicle to create art is how we connect to people. It's how we relate. Everyone knows pain, and whether it's personal trauma or cultural trauma. Capturing these feelings, these moments, these emotions into a poem or a song, or onto a canvas or into fashion resonates with people in a different way. And for people who haven't necessarily experienced that type of trauma, it gives them a better understanding of who you are and what you've experienced. And for people who have experienced that type of trauma, it makes them feel less alone. Everyone wants to be understood, everyone wants to be heard, Everyone wants to be loved. So this poem addresses privilege in America when it comes to race. The poem is entitled Metaphysics one on one Metaphysics one oh one for white privilege. So, like, if a tree falls in the forest and the people in the forest claim not to hear it didn't make a sound. What if that tree was rosewood burning? What if that tree were planted right in the middle of Tulsa, Oklahoma. What if that tree were dark shade of brown? Would it matter then? Or are you one of those all trees matter kind of people? What if the tree didn't just fall, What if the tree were chopped down. What if the axe was targeting that tree? Now? What if that tree made up about the forest, but for some reason made up six of the caskets. What if that tree had both of his branches stretched like the first day of spring? What if that tree tried to comply and still died? Is his death still a death? Is it death? A death when no one recognizes the life. Metaphysics is a broad philosophy full of questions, challenges what we think is real? How things can be both seen and unseen at once? Like sound, like breath, like god, like death? Like people of color in America? Now the nature of being? That is the perennial topic in metaphysics, and when discussing race poses a question that only white people get to ask themselves in this country, what does it mean to be? And that's privilege. The ability to question and then decide, the ability to create the standard or the norm and live in it without even knowing it, the ability to tell. Because people of color and America are often told what to be be. Cargo, be commodity, be cash, crop be free, but this water fountain free, be this side of the border be underfunded, underprivileged, underrepresented, but overwhelmed. Be affirmative action because they swear that you got it by affirmative action, But honestly, affirmative action has helped more white women than any other demographic. So really it's um be just enough to make a campus look diverse. Be hired, Be just enough to make an office look diverse, and be voting when they need you, voting when it's convenient and when they don't. Be gerrymandered out of a voice. Be quiet, because if it doesn't make a sound, well then it doesn't exist. This country is all white noise, all static and erasure. And just because you didn't create the interference doesn't mean you don't benefit from it. But you can't make the struggle. In my skin of theory, we are not a hypothesis. We are absolute. We are an axiom. We are an undeniable truth. And the truth is it isn't always rebel flags and maga hats that is our plight. Sometimes it's the people standing idly by pretending they don't hear us fall. Oh my goodness, Roscoe does it again? That was amazing? Yes, it was, oh okay powerful? What if we were a tree? I love that because that's truly what we are. We are strength, we are multi leveled, we are used, we are useful. We are nature, and we are natural. We are trees. It was the tree targeted by acts for me, tree targeted by an ask and which acts several and who's yielding it. It's got to take it down. I mean, thank you, thank you Roscoe for that powerful, powerful piece, prolific words, beautiful. Absolutely, We're gonna take a short break right now, and when we return, we'll welcome mental health expert Britney cop who is going to dispel some common myths about therapy for our mental health moment. All right, we are back with another vitally important mental health moment. I'm excited about this new part of the show. It's a nice moment to just talk to someone successful. And today we get to welcome licensed therapist Brittney cob to Let's Red table back. Brittney works as a consultant social media influencer to promote mental wellness, educate others, and fight this thing was associated with therapy and mental health, especially in the black community. She's here today to help us better understand the obstacles people face and caring for their mental health and hopefully we can knock a few of those them for ourselves and our listeners today. So thank you Brittany for joining us, Thank you for having me. Yes, we appreciate you. It's nice to see you at this virtual red table. Britta, appreciate y'all invited me here. Yeah, no problem, Thank you so much for accepting that invite. Right. Well, you are an advocate for mental health in the black community, and we know that treatments like therapy and prescriptions for antidepressants, Um, sometimes they're considered unnecessary, or they may seem like too much, or it's just not something we're used to. Often, Um, there's the idea that we just need to be strong and get through it. Right. So, what hurdles do the black community face when they're seeing getting mental health care outside of what we just listed, right, Yeah, I mean so many. I think the ones that stick out to me the most, the first one really is just there's a lot of shame still. You know, there's so many harmful beliefs and messages that we have internalized develout mental health and about therapy. Also like internal beliefs about opening up to people and sharing being vulnerable and admitting that we don't have all the answers we need help, and so a lot of that shame we carry into adulthood, and patterns we learn in childhood just trying to survive, we carry into adulthood, and those patterns like will go completely against what actually helps us thrive and connect and build healthy relationships with people. And so until we can like recondition our brains to to to not see mental health and asking for help as a negative thing, you know, I think that's that's one of the biggest hurdles that I see right now. Another one is distrust in the medical and in the mental health field. You know, the system of mental health. It wasn't form taking into consideration our culture, our ethnicity, race, these are important things to consider, and if there's a lack of cultural sensitivity, there's a lack of trust. Oh wow, yeah, that's that's very very true. Now. I love that you said that, because I think sometimes we do just stay with our parameters of what we know. What happens in my house stays in this house, and there are so many other things on top of what we're used to that need to just be unlearned. Right, We need to learn new language and new ways of doing things. Yeah. Absolutely, I appreciate that transparency, because man, do we meet this topic. Yes, the stigmas rounding mental health care so often cause people to shy away from some sort of treatment. We just talked about that a little bit. So we would love for you to debunk some of these misconceptions for us. I'm gonna ramble off a list and I want you to to let us know what what would be like the opposite language. How can we debunk this? So let me get started. Number one, if I seek therapy it means I'm weak? What does it actually mean if you seek there? Yeah? Yeah, again, like that's a perfect example of what we've been conditioned to believe about these things. But I do think therapy can be really scary because it's exposing, it's vulnerable, and so a part of the work is again redefining what's normal to us. And so for me, seeking therapy is a sign that you care about your well being, you want to make changes, you want to feel better, and that takes courage to actually say I can't do this alone. That's wrong, right. Oh. I love that somebody's gonna set themselves free. You are not weak. You're actually courageous for saying something's got to change. Okay, I love that We're have to a good start. Number two, A therapist will just try to blame my parents for my problems. Yeah, that's a that's a major one to So therapy is not about blaming anybody, you know, it's really just about understanding the family system that you come from, who you come from, because those things can be impacting how you show up today and in the present in your life, in your relationships. Those things can be really impactful when it comes to just building relationships and thriving. And yeah, it can be difficult. Some therapy is not really even about going deep into your childhood. It just depends on what you're going to therapy for. But it's definitely not about blaming anyone, right, I was gonna say that to a different So maybe what you're in the room for. But I love that it's not about blame, just more so understanding, right what happened? Right? A love that alright. Number three. If I have a faith background, I don't need therapy. This one kind of resonates with me as well. Like I hear a lot of people say, just pray about it, you know, pray more, worry less, Like we have all these plaques and phrases and things and quotes, and how does faith really tap into therapy? Yeah, So therapists are hell to an ethical standard and a big part of that standard is meeting people where they are and respecting all of who they are and what makes them who they are. And so religion and spirituality can be a really big source of strength for many people, and so that is something that can be built into your treatment. And when people are looking for a therapists, it's important to know what's important to you when you're looking for someone. When you're looking for a therapist, pull up their bio, read their information, what they stand for, what are trained in, call them for consultation, And within the consultation you can ask questions like, how do you feel about spirituality and therapy together? How can you support me and implement my personal beliefs and practices into the work that we're gonna do together. I love that. I love that because like, if there's no common ground, then it's okay too to say maybe this therapist isn't for me. Right, So, I remember when I started therapy, I was very heavy on the fact that I want someone who has children, at least one and preferably a team because I was going through it. You should have some standards so you can say exactly what you need in therapy. That's so important. Yes, I like that. Okay, another one. Antidepressants will change my personality. That's definitely a stick. Why do you feel about that? Yeah, I'm a huge advocate of medication, but it's not for everyone. Antidepressants will have side effects, but the purpose of taking medication is to help alleviate symptoms and change how you feel in a positive way. And so if there's concerns about a changing your personality and it's a negative change, it's important to have those conversations with your doctor. The right doctor is going to listen to you and they're gonna want to hear your concerns, right right. I love that. I love that you said that because if there is a change you don't like, you can speak up, right. I think people think if they start, they have to be stuck with it. And I love that you said it's supposed to change them for the greater or to become their best self. Because I think people may have a fear of losing like themselves right and changing altogether right, legit fears too, right, Well, thank you for helping us debunk some of these misconceptions. I feel like we just have to have more conversations to help keep the conversation going forward. Right. So another thing I feel like, I think one reason people fear therapy is the idea that I'm just supposed to tell my secrets to a stranger. Right, It's just very generalized. So what is your advice to someone with this fear? How should they build on that trust with their new therapist. I think the first thing is just recognizing that being afraid is normal. It's normal for therapy to be a scary process meeting someone for the first time, especially not knowing what to expect, what they're gonna ask, what is the process going to be like? I would also say, like, it's not really your job to build trust with your therapist. It's your therapist job to build trust with you and create an environment where you feel safe enough to open up, and that's gonna take time. So I would encourage people to just be open to the process, and a part of that is accepting that it's going to be scary. I would encourage them to be open to speaking with the therapist about some of those fears because the therapist is able to work with you and help ease some of those fears that you have. Okay, I love that though. I mean, it's all about working together, and I think it just feels like for some people like they're going into this, especially if they're already coming into therapy feeling alone, they may feel like it's just another task on my list that I have to do alone. But what I'm hearing is it's definitely a team work environment. And again, your therapist should help to build that trust with you as well, so hopefully they'll have some strategies that can help many different people. I know there's not just one way to do this therapy thing, so hopefully we all have some new good perspectives about it today. Well, thank you so much for coming to the Virtual Red Table Brittany and sharing your insights with us. You can learn more from Brittany about these topics and others at a Black Female Therapist dot org. Thank you, Brittany, thank you so much for having me. We are ending this episode with some hope and joy. Oh we need a will help enjoy. This is ariale Estoria once again, this time with her poem this Here Joy. I wrote this here Joy in a season where I was overwhelmed with all of the grief and trauma we experience as black people, and I just needed a breath of fresh air, so I wrote one. When black people tap into joy, Heaven's gates open, and what you feel is not the wind but angels dancing in the trees, singing symphonies of this here is on earth as it is in heaven. Floodgates are opened. Tears may fall, but not in vain, no trace of pain, just the release that joy can be felt without guilt or wondering when the door will come knocking with anything but good news. See this here is good news too. When black people tap into joy, this is the sweetest of size, a sigh that has not been held by generations of breaths not breathed, a sigh that releases the stifled screams Ei. There is no room here for unnecessary opinions. When black people tap into joy, it is worship. It is all of the symphonies colliding into one smile, one dimple, one pure, bless filled, blessed like joy. That is one thing that cannot be taken away, this joy, this felt in the depth of our being, an audacious, fool and courageous and the greatest prayer we've ever prayed. When black people tap into joy, our bodies can't help but dance and shake and move the moment, the movement when something takes over your whole being and the weight of racism and violent systems that were never meant to hold you finally take a back seat and cannot claim this joy, and we dance I mean off, and we're allowed when we want to be. Because when black people tap into joy, that there there's a holy moment. And what do you do in the sight of such sacredness? You take it in, but you cannot take it away. It's beautiful. I love that because they spoke. It spoke so much to what we are. Black people have to but we have to be, not even just are what we have to be. I've I've always felt a sense of but yeah, but I mean like just to be weighted at It's like we don't even have the energy too. We have to constantly pressed toward rise up, be more. Shout dr by Angelo, come on now, tapping into our let us have it let us here, let us feel it. It's real and the thing that makes it so real is that you have to be able. I mean, you think about it. The joy, the enjoy is really the audaciousness, as she said in her poem, that we we have it. It's an eight at this point, that part. We want to take a moment. Silence on podcasts are hard because it's not what you want. But I think that there's some some appropriateness just for us to have one second, just to have it as a dedication to Brianna Taylor and her family. Right. If you want to know how to support Brianna Taylor's family, visit Justice for Brianna dot org to support Brianna Taylor's family directly and support their fight for justice. We want to know how you're feeling about this new season of Red Table Talk, and we are open to talk about anything with you all, So please send in your questions at let's red Table that at red table talk dot com, or or of course let your voice be heard and speak to us on speak pipe and you can reach us at speak pipe dot com. Slash Let's red Table that. Thank you so much for listening, Thank you so much for being with us and tuning in every week. Make sure you subscribe on my Heart Radio app, and please rate this podcast on Apple Podcast. We'll be back next week for another episode of Let's Read Table That a Bit. Thank you to our executive producers Jada Pinkett Smith, Ellen Racketin and Balin Jethrow. And thank you to our producer Kyla Kanu and our associate producer Yolanda Chow. And finally, thank you to our sound engineer, Stephanie Aguilar